Pressure Is a Privilege: Create & Cultivate CEO Marina Middleton on the Real Cost of Ambition

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Okay, welcome back to the Elevate Collection Podcast.
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I'm so excited because I'm in LA attending for my second year in a row Create and Cultivate Festival, which is the largest festival for women in business.
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And we have the honor to sit down with Mrs.
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Marina Middleton.
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Welcome to the podcast.
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Thank you for having me.
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This is um a long time coming, I feel.
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So we're just gonna be so much fun today.
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Guys, we're de-investies.
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Just like she doesn't know it yet, but we've been de-investing.
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I know I knew it.
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Um, but I'm so excited to have this conversation with you.
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And I want to jump right in because I want to talk about the cost of ambition with you.
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We see what you've created, but what I'm really interested in is the woman that you had to become to be able to produce something like this.
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So when it comes to the woman that was attending a create and cultivate festival, you just sing Hallie.
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It's not a woman or Hallie Bear.
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Festivals.
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What does that look like?
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I was supposed to pledge You know, it's interesting.
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You just asking the woman that I had to become.
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I don't think I realized I had to change as an individual to be able to build what we're building.
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Um, I didn't know that like that sort of ambition needed that from me.
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Um, so that really surprised me.
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And I think the biggest like growth would be one, my leadership style.
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Like I, this is the biggest team that I've ever managed.
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I have VCs and investors, and handling the pressure while also being a great leader is something that I just didn't know how to do before.
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So it's less of like the ambition in the sense of, oh, I have big dreams and big goals and I'm gonna do all this stuff.
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It's actually like the everyone else around me that I think.
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So it's just so wrong.
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No, it's on you.
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And so I had to just change in terms of having emotional boundaries, um, having boxes and trust in myself.
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That's why it's a lot to be able to not just give a vision, but to stick with that even when it wasn't working immediately.
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Right?
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Like I make the example of events, people don't buy tickets for the event.
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The majority of people don't buy tickets to the event until like 30 days out.
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Yep.
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That's the worst feeling.
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It's so stressful as someone who's producing the event.
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And I guess it's still stressful for like if it's 20 people, 50 people, but you can like find 20 people and 50 people.
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Like if nobody buys a ticket, even a hundred, two, you could like give, you can find that volume of people and give it away.
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You can figure it out.
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4,000 people is terrifying.
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And so I think it's like what I've had to become is I've had to trust myself that the what we're doing is working and it's going to work, even if it doesn't look like it is right away.
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Um, and that's the most uncomfortable part.
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And emotional boundaries, being really, you know, strict with what I'm saying yes to, what I'm saying no to.
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So it's just a lot of that.
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So we had a little small conversation.
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You talk about emotional boundaries about you had posted something the other day about you love deeply and you care deeply, and I really resonate with that.
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But we also hurt very deeply.
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As you've had to evolve and become, are there things that you've had to really experience or let it roll off your chest because you do feel so deeply?
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Yeah, I think I take I take everything personal.
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Um, it's my toxic trait, so I get it.
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I take everything personal.
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Like I take the no's personal, um, I take the yeses personal, I take everything personal.
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And it's because I care so much.
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Yeah.
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I think what I am, you know, and when I say personal, so a perfect example is I'll say, you know, we'll pitch to a brand, right?
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And if they say no, I take it personal because in my head, it's a no to me.
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It's a no to me.
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But not only that, I'm like, what it's kind of more of like how I view it and what I share to my team is like, what value did we not explain to them?
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Like, how did they not see the value and what can we do better to make sure they see the value?
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Because that's all it is.
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If someone's saying no to you, especially in sales, they just don't see the value.
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They it's not that they don't have money, everybody will figure out budget and all of that stuff.
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You can find the money.
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You you'll find the money.
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Um, it's more of hey, I don't see the value in spending this for attendees.
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I don't see the value of leaving my family and buying a ticket and getting on a plane and coming.
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So it is my job and our team's job to make sure that we are sharing that value.
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And so when I get a no, I'm like, ooh, like, why?
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On the flip side of that, I also take it personal when I see my team working so hard.
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And you know what I mean?
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I'm like, okay, like I need to keep like this growing.
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I need to support them, and I need to, so it's yeah, everything was just personal and I care deeply, and I don't plan to change that.
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Same.
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Like I I say it's my toxic trait, but it is a trait that I'm not willing to change.
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There, there was something that I just saw with Jay Shetty and Oprah, and she talked about being like a one-gallon person, and when it comes to interacting with like pint-sized people.
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And I think it's not, it's not, there's nothing wrong with having a pint size, nothing wrong with having a gallon size, but someone that has so much depth, it can be very difficult to be in relationship with someone who doesn't understand that depth.
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Yeah, it's not that it's a bad relationship, it's just something that you have to learn and you grow from.
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But with that same line of thinking, I want to ask you about when it comes to like your husband and your son, he's so freaking cute, by the way.
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Just a little swaggy little something.
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But is there a cost that is impacting them that a lot of people don't see on the front end as far as the cost to do what you're doing and doing it at the scale and at the level of excellence that you're doing it in?
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Yeah, I mean, we're recording this 24 hours before the festival.
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Which is nuts, and thank you.
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Nuts.
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Um, and so I'm like immediately like flooded with emotions at the thought of that, just because there's so much sacrifice that we do.
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And I think people are like, okay, like you sacrificed with your husband, but like my husband sacrifices so much because he does the same line of work that I do.
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And so just imagine two people that are young, really ambitious, like really entrepreneurial.
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We are not stopping anytime soon, right?
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This is just the beginning.
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And I love create and cultivate.
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I'm so excited for what we're building, and it's also exciting to think that this might be the stepping stone to something else that I do in the future, right?
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And like that to me is not a thing that I realized two and a half years ago when I bought the business.
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And so there's a lot of sacrifices that we make, and we make those intentionally.
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We know that we're making those sacrifices, and sacrifices like, you know, sometimes he misses bedtime, sometimes I'm missing a practice, sometimes, you know, there's certain things like I don't have summers off, like I have to work all summer and you know, he's home.
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And so I think the biggest sacrifices is less of our marriage and for one another because we're so locked in.
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Yeah.
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Like when I have a rough day, he knows what that's like and he knows it so deeply because he's in the same industry as me.
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When he's having a rough day, it's the same thing.
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I mean, let's not get it twisted.
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I'm still like, hey, I, you know, like, you know, I need you to help me with this, or um, hey, you haven't like texted me or whatever.
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So, like, I still do those things where it's like we need to keep our line of communication.
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But I think the biggest sacrifice is to Sebastian, like I we always, and I hate I used to say like I took the word guilty out because like I know I'm not doing anything wrong.
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It doesn't make it easier, right?
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Right?
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Like, it's still sad when I have to miss something, it's still sad when he calls me and he's like, I wish I was there.
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And so there's certain things that we have agreed on as parents that we're going to do.
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Example, we're here for a week.
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Um, Matt actually was here for like two and a half.
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We took Sebastian out of school.
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He's in fifth grade, he's three weeks in.
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Life experience.
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Like, and there's so much, like, I truly believe like it's so important for structure.
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And like, I do think he is missing things, like foundational things that it's at school.
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And like, but that's something that we are willing to sacrifice.
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And we're going to take him, and he's going to see us build.
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He's going to realize and see, wow, this is where their time is going, right?
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The things that we're doing at scale is just, it's so expansive for anybody, right?
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Big or small, but like for what we're doing specifically, it feels so expansive because not only is he seeing what we're building, he's hearing the stories from the financial advisors at Future Proof, my husband's event, or the founders and creators and students that are at my event being like, I don't know I could do it and now I can.
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So his like what he's going to think is normal growing up.
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Oh my goodness.
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Is like is more than what a week in fifth grade is going to give him, right?
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Or sixth grade or seventh grade or until he doesn't want to come with us anymore, you know?
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But that is what works for us.
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And so a long-winded answer of like, there's so much sacrifices that go into it.
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And that's also why I take a lot of the work that I do personally.
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And I'm like, I've sacrificed a lot of time with my family and and my friends that like I care about the success of this and I care about it working.
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Yeah.
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Do you find it difficult ever when it comes to having Sebastian and your husband having them like on your socials?
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I a mentor told me a long time ago, and I don't know how much I subscribe to it now, but you keep private what you want to protect.
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And I don't, I think for a while I really subscribed to that notion, and now I've definitely evolved from it.
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But do you see any negativity by presenting your son and your husband on your socials even?
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Yeah, so I don't post Matt as much.
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I I have recently more, which is funny because a lot of people were like, We thought you were a single mom.
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And I'm like, Really?
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I don't think I gave that.
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Like I just kept my marriage.
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Ooh, I just kept my marriage.
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Not that my marriage was private, but my social was not about talking about my marriage.
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You know what I mean?
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It wasn't the center of Yeah.
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And so I'll I'll share stories, we'll go on vacation, I'll share that, I'll share pictures, I'll say Matt in my caption.
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You know what I mean?
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So like I talk about him.
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Um, recently I I think I've had this like new appreciation to for us both building similar things, yeah, and wanting to show that to the world and so that they can just see what that could look like.
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Because I I know that that comes with a lot of questions from a children's perspective.
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So I think your relationship is your relationship.
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So like sometimes I'm like, it's not for you, it's for the girls.
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Like, I'm not you're not on my feet.
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You know what I mean?
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He's like, why are you not posting my like Matt's bio is like husband at Marina Middleton?
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He's the funniest thing.
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Like tagging me is like cute.
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I'm like, I'm not doing that.
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Yeah.
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But same doesn't mean I love you any less, but like so and he better never delete that, you know.
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Same.
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Because same.
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Um, for Sebastian, I think that that's such an interesting question because I had Sebastian at 23.
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Sharing on social wasn't something that I was like, I thought I should should filter him from.
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Um, like sharing him, I shared that I was a single mom on my stories when I or on uh Instagram when I first had him, and that was like a big part of who I am.
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And so it just felt like it was like integrated into my personal brand.
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Right.
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So I don't um I think I understand though, like when people don't share their pictures of their kids.
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I I understand like I never share where he goes to school or where we live or what he does or pictures of his friends.
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Like I there's certain things I still keep.
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Um, but he's like such a part of who we are.
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I yeah, I'm I don't plan on not sharing him.
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No, I love that.
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I just think it's what works for everyone is so different.
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I want to take an opportunity because I'd be remiss to say, especially on the Love Eight Collection podcast where Influence Meets Legacy, you have garnered such a beautiful influence, right?
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You show and we see, we talk about this, like the highlight reel, but there's a lot of things that people don't see.
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Is there a piece of what you do that you wish people could see more of?
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I've been trying to share a little bit more of that.
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I think this this year, 2026, has been the most mentally challenging year for me, just because I needed to see other women talk about how hard it is to build.
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Yeah.
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And I felt like I wasn't getting that.
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Yeah.
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Like nobody was talking about how hard it is, but everybody's just posting the highlight reels.
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And so when it gets hard, because business is hard and entrepreneurial ship is hard, and scaling and leadership is hard, and marriage is hard, and parenting is hard, and there's hard parts about all of the things.
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It's not, it's not a bad hard, it's just hard.
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That's the reality.
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When those things happened, I'd be like, oh my God, am I doing it wrong?
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And so there's so many parts of what I'm trying to share now.
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I'm trying to share that, hey, there are moments that I don't sleep eight hours that I would like.
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Like, yes, I've gone too long without drinking water today, and I need to do that.
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I haven't worked out like the things that I feel like I need to share because if someone else is feeling that, I want them to be like, okay, clocked it.
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I'm now self-aware that I'm doing it.
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I need to work on myself.
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I can't burn out for any of this.
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So I want to make sure that I share that.
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And so I think it's I I'm trying to share more of those moments of like, this is really hard.
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I feel like there's a lot of pressure.
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We're growing really fast.
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Oh my God, we, you know, haven't sold this many tickets.
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We need to now sell, you know, more.
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We have a new campaign.
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Like, I want to share the behind the scenes less in two parts.
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One, because I think it actually helps me process what's happening and like build the community around what's happening.
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And then two, I know it's going to help someone else that might be feeling it, right?
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That might be like, I'm burning out.
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I haven't stepped away from my computer to have lunch.
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And so now they remember, okay, Marina also felt this way.
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I'm going to, nothing is going to happen if I turn off my computer for 30 minutes and go have lunch.
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I'm not, I'm not a failure if I do that.
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I'm not, you know, so I think that that's part of it.
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So outside of like the schedule and all that stuff, I try to share.
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I think the second part is I'm I've been sharing a lot more of like, I have tied my worth so much to my work.
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Um, if something really great happens, I'm like, I'm the best thing in the world.
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If something doesn't go as planned, I feel like I'm a failure.
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Right.
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And so detangling myself and my worth and knowing and reminding myself and giving myself like my own self-validation is really hard and something that I'm trying to work on because I've never had to do that.
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I've like, yeah, I just never, I never did.
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I either received validation externally or I just tied my worth to my work.
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I know that.
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I resonate so heavily with that.
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I think that's I think that's the story of a lot of high achievers, high performers, and that's what you're accustomed to.
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You do well, and that's what it fills your cup, it gives you this dopamine hit.
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Totally.
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Did you ever find in that same journey as you're detangling this?
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Do you ever find different things that give you that dopamine hit that you need to be able to move on?
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And especially in the moments where you can't give yourself the self-validation.
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Because we say, like, yes, like, of course I want to self-validate and self-affirm myself, but there are some moments where you're just you just fucking can't, and it's hard.
00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:58.639
What are you doing to give that self or give that to you yourself?
00:15:58.879 --> 00:16:04.399
I think it's coming more of like trying to take.
00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:06.639
So, okay, I'm really big with data.
00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:09.840
And so I make a lot of decisions on the data that I have.
00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:17.679
So if something doesn't work, I let before I start thinking, oh my God, I failed, oh my God, what was I thinking?
00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:19.360
I'm panicking, right?
00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:23.519
I start looking at like, okay, if this campaign didn't work, why?
00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:31.360
Let's look at when we launched it, who we launched it to, what was the messaging, what was the creative, when did it, you know, like I'm trying to analyze it.
00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:52.639
And so if I can operate the business from data and not removing the emotional set side of it, but like removing some of that emotional side, I will then feel better at the results and the and the like outcome is focused on the data versus like me and Marina, right?
00:16:53.039 --> 00:17:01.919
And so the self-validation is less coming from work, it's more of like just feeling confident in myself that I'm like, hey, like, yes, things are gonna go wrong, but I'm gonna figure it out anyway.
00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:12.000
Failure is just data, like that's all it is, you know, and so I just going going back to like just trying to operate from data is what has helped me in business.
00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:23.279
Now, my personal life, like, yeah, I like meditate and journal and I do breath work and I pray and I like there's a lot that I do to try to like ground myself.
00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:32.480
And in those moments, I feel like, and I know a lot of founders and entrepreneurs do this, but you journal, but then all of your journaling is about work.
00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:35.359
And then it's like you're meditating, but then you're thinking about work.
00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:39.119
Yeah, and then you're doing breath work, and the downloads that you're getting are about work.
00:17:39.279 --> 00:17:44.000
And so I try to, and those are all fine, but I can't have that all the time.
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:49.039
So I need to journal about me and how I feel versus just work.
00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:58.000
I hope anyone under the sound of your voice is really feeling seen and heard and held in this moment because I think that's what you've you've provided.
00:17:58.160 --> 00:18:02.799
I think you've done an excellent job of providing that, especially in, like you said, your social media content.
00:18:02.880 --> 00:18:03.359
I see that.
00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:05.680
I can say I'm like, okay, keep going.
00:18:05.839 --> 00:18:18.480
This shit's hard, but I can keep going and just normalizing what the experience is when you are an entrepreneur, when you are a founder, when you are a leader, and how many times you have to, what I call is like you lead while you bleed sometimes.
00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:26.079
Like when you're in that active state of becoming, you're in an active state of evolving, you're evolving in real time every single day.
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:29.759
You've never been to day years old until this very, very moment.
00:18:29.839 --> 00:18:30.000
Yeah.
00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:31.519
And so you're doing it all in real time.
00:18:31.599 --> 00:18:33.519
And I and I love seeing you do that.
00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:45.039
And I think it's really affirming, and I hope I can affirm you in this moment that you are seen and you were held and you are kept in that because you were creating that space for others to do the same thing.
00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:47.279
So thank you for doing that.
00:18:47.599 --> 00:18:50.079
Now, elevate, of course.
00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:52.799
We exist to elevate by elevating the lives of other people.
00:18:52.960 --> 00:19:00.640
But when it comes to what you've done as a first generation Egyptian American woman, what does that mean for your legacy?
00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:02.319
I mean, it's crazy.
00:19:02.559 --> 00:19:03.200
It's crazy.
00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:11.359
It's so crazy because I think I for a long time I felt like I was doing it all wrong.
00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:16.240
You know, like my my parents, I'm an only child, I'm very close to my parents.
00:19:16.559 --> 00:19:18.559
I came here from Egypt when I was eight.
00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:22.960
I mean, my work ethic comes from watching them.
00:19:23.119 --> 00:19:23.680
Yeah, right.
00:19:23.759 --> 00:19:26.240
We were in and out of family homes for the first five years.
00:19:26.400 --> 00:19:28.880
My life looked very different than what it looked now.
00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:38.559
Um, and I think that there was this standard of how I should live my life and how I should do things.
00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:44.160
And my parents did an amazing job raising me, and they did the best job that they knew knew how to do, right?
00:19:44.319 --> 00:19:58.960
And so they were very strict, they're very religious, they are very strict and they are very religious still, and um they wanted me to go to school and graduate and get married and have kids and have a job or maybe stay home.
00:19:59.119 --> 00:20:01.440
Like there's certain things that they wanted for me.
00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:09.039
And so as a first generation Egyptian immigrant, like I felt like that is I owed it to them to do that.
00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:16.000
And so anytime that I did something that was outside of that, I felt like I was disappoint I was a disappointment and disappointing them.
00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:24.960
So when I went to college and I didn't go, I went originally went for criminal justice, I wanted to translate Arabic for the FBI, and um, which is so insane.
00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:36.559
Um looking at my life now, but um, you know, changing majors, I felt like, oh, I was a failure because the pressures that I just owed it to my parents to live the life that they wanted me to live.
00:20:36.720 --> 00:20:40.079
And then I changed into marketing and they didn't really understand that.
00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:44.480
And then, you know, I moved to New York and then I became a single mom.
00:20:44.559 --> 00:20:54.000
And like I did all before marriage, like I did all the things that anybody would think is wrong or they would think is wrong, right?
00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:56.640
And so I felt like I was truly like a failure.
00:20:56.799 --> 00:20:58.799
Like I was like, oh my god, I've let them down so much.
00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:05.279
And so there was something that still kept me going, and I think a lot of that was to like make sure that they knew I was going to be okay.
00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:06.880
Yeah, like I was gonna figure it out.
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:36.640
And so I I think sitting in 2026 and having uh I mean the best family and the healthiest relationship and the most like dream job doing the thing that I love to do to my core, which is like uh help people, yes, and uh be able to be successful while doing that financially and also with freedom of like how I design my life.
00:21:37.440 --> 00:21:39.839
I don't think they could have ever imagined that for me.
00:21:40.240 --> 00:21:49.759
And so I think when I think about being an immigrant and and like starting and paving the way, like I'm so excited that they get to see this for me.
00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:51.759
Um, and they they're they're here.
00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:56.319
Like, what a privilege it is to have my parents here to be able to still witness that.
00:21:56.480 --> 00:21:59.759
Um, and then what a privilege it is for me to be able to do this and for.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:42.400
someone else like a small you know egyptian immigrant or or uh anything to be able to say oh my god if she can do it I can do it if she can be this brown girl on stage I can do this and like that like I I'm just so lucky that that's how that's the job that I have you know and I get to like pave the way that way that's just crazy to me and so I think that that's like yeah when I I the last thing I'll say about being an Egyptian immigrant or being an immigrant I was in the States during 9-11 and so I had to live a lot of my childhood lying to people about being Egyptian.
00:22:42.559 --> 00:23:05.440
Wow and so it was never like an advantage you know like being an immigrant was never like a I I got my foot in the door and most people know that especially in the states um and so being able to talk about it so freely like it is my superpower because it is like that is my competitive advantage right that's unbelievable.
00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:06.799
And take it and run with it.
00:23:06.880 --> 00:24:34.640
Yeah okay you've garnered all this influence so you get on these stages in front of 4,000 women tomorrow okay 4,000 people that bought tickets that spent their hard earned money that are like crazy but you garnered this influence and you get to speak over people and you have to use that influence responsibly obviously what does it mean to you to have the weight of that you know the term the what is the saying the heavy is the head that wears the crown what does that weight mean to you yeah I think there was a quote and I'm trying to think of what the quote was but I want to be like I don't feel it as a negative pressure it's more of the pressure to keep operating from a space of like I just want to always be as ethical as possible as caring as possible I don't want to ever lose my morals I don't want to change how I do business I don't ever want that to change because I feel like if someone is looking at me and watching how I move and how I build and what I care about and what I don't care about and what I stand for and what I don't stand for.
00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:42.240
Like I want to be that example so that they can say oh I can do business that way I can actually be a really good person.
00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:44.799
Go figure still grow, you know?
00:24:44.960 --> 00:25:04.640
And I I think that has been like the biggest thing for me is like I'm not changing who I am like no no amount of money no amount of pressure from investors no amount of growth no amount of success no amount of flights into LA and Hollywood will ever change me to my core.
00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:08.079
And so I think that pressure is more of a privilege.
00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:08.720
A privilege.
00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:09.599
Do you know what I mean?
00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:16.319
To be able to be like okay I owe it to them to stay exactly who I am to my core.
00:25:16.640 --> 00:25:17.839
Pressure is a privilege.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:54.960
It truly is I'm like it 100% is unfortunately for me I have the like my day ones and my husband and my son to always keep me like that but I think that it always goes down to like I don't ever want them to look at me on stage all these 4,000 people and one day it's gonna be 2000 people at this great cultivate event to look at me and be like or anybody be like that's not really how she is you are the same guys she is the same online as she is in person just for the yeah like I just I want to be that always I don't ever want someone to be like oh you don't really know that girl well then let's close it out with this.
00:25:55.680 --> 00:26:16.400
Under the sound of my voice under the sound of your voice what is something that our community or anyone under the sound of your voices can do to help move your needle forward and this can be anything from you know I need a new barber for Sebastian or you know I need you guys to go online and invest in that whatever it is what can they do to help move your needle forward right now how can they elevate you?
00:26:16.559 --> 00:26:41.680
Oh my God that's a phenomenal question um I think my first answer is like attend attending Korean cultivate you have to they you have to attend and it seems like a silly ask but I think it's twofold one it elevates me because it helps me get to my goals faster.
00:26:42.079 --> 00:27:15.599
Period period two it really is life changing like as a previous attendee it really does expand you and it changes what you think is possible in terms of the reality for your life so those are the two one it it helps us reach our goals I want I want people to attend and then two once they attend it just changes everything for them and so it helps me Oprah said something like we just want to provide meaning to people we want wow God what is it she's like people like we want to matter to people and know that we're making a difference.
00:27:15.680 --> 00:27:23.839
Yeah and that to me like I want to know that I matter and that my work matters and I also want to make a difference and so that would be my ask.
00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:37.359
Well that is the ask everything about Marina and create and cultivate that we've discussed will be in the show notes and all the things but thank you so much for spending literally 24 hours before you open the doors to 4,000 women in business.
00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:38.480
Thank you so much for being here today.
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:40.079
This is so special thank you for having me.
00:27:40.240 --> 00:28:12.480
Thanks you're a phenomenal interviewer thank you also I love podcasts like this like it yeah thank you yeah I was listening to the story on Instagram that's her voice she's like I'm talking about you are you coming as we come yes that's my