Hair care, hair trauma, curl discovery, and embracing authenticity: stories from our live event

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Welcome to Season 2 of the Curl Follies.
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We're celebrating our new season by sharing the live recording of the podcast launch party from last year.
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Our guests shared stories,
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lessons,
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and memories that exemplify the kind of vulnerability and authenticity we stand for.
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It was amazing to hear how many experiences we share,
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how much has changed.
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and yet still needs to change to make space for all of us to live authentically.
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Our time at that gathering was truly a gift,
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and one I am so honored to share with all of you now.
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When I bought this business in 2005,
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it was not a curly hair salon.
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It was your average salon trying to find its way.
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And so we want to start a conversation about natural hair.
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And I'm going to have Sydney and Alex really lead it.
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And so ladies,
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take it away.
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Okay,
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hi,
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welcome everyone.
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So as you guys know,
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I am Syd.
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I'm one of the stylists here at Oasis.
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Alex,
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one of the other stylists here.
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And the purpose of tonight is to really bring awareness to the dialogue.
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and the culture around curly hair.
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I know the fact that every single person in this room being a curly headed person has had their own experience with curly hair and has their own story to share behind that.
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So an open question we would love for anyone who
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who has an opinion,
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a voice to speak,
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we would love to know what your experience is with curly hair.
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We would love to know what did you think when you first realized you had curly hair?
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Ausha.
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I can't believe you guys want to know this.
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This is great.
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I had struggled with it my whole life.
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It actually
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It wasn't until I came to this salon in my
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40s that I learned how to style it.
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And it was,
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I did everything.
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I went to the wrong people and got it cut and looked.
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looked like that I was called Elvis for a few years and still has a nickname because of that.
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I brush it.
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My mom was always trying to brush it.
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That did not work out well.
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I mean,
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frizz was,
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I must've had every
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every frizz product on the market and none of them work,
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right?
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Because,
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you know,
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you just,
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I didn't know how to use them.
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Washing all the time,
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getting it blow dried straight as whenever somebody could,
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you know,
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like a special treat.
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And then when I got older,
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I did Brazilians for years,
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straightening it because I did not know how to manage it.
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And understandable.
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I mean.
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I mean,
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no one teaches it,
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right?
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It's just something that we're all given.
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I mean,
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curly hair is the dominant trait,
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and we're expected to either conform to societal norms and to change it or deal with the frizz,
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deal with the unmanageability of it.
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From my late teens through my early mid-30s,
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I wore a lot of wigs,
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three-quarter pieces,
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and ponytails.
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Yeah,
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like that was how much I didn't know what to do.
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Like I said,
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not until my
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40s when I came here.
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Yeah.
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Anyone else want to share their experience?
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That was Ausha.
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And now we have Debra.
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I think
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I have always struggled with my hair.
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And it's just never been a big deal for me to have perfect hair.
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I think when I was in my teens,
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I liked to go swimming.
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And I would swim in the summer.
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And I'd look like straw.
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But it didn't matter because it wasn't all that important to me.
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And then when I graduated from business school,
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trying to look like the professional woman,
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I was living in Chicago.
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And I went to this great salon.
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And they blow-dried my hair.
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And I curled it and so on.
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And it looked great.
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And one day in particular,
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I was like,
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I'm going to go to the salon.
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particular,
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I went and I paid the,
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you know,
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several hundred dollars to get my hair done.
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And I didn't have enough cash for a tip.
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So I said to my stylist,
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I'm going to run to the ATM.
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And I ran out to the ATM and I came back and she's like,
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is it raining?
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What happened to your hair?
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And I said,
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this is what happens all the time.
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Like I leave here and it looks perfect and I get out and it frizzes and it's this whole other thing.
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And she said,
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well,
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I can redo it.
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And I said,
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no,
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I'm okay with it.
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And I think that's the point at which I thought,
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get okay with it.
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You're spending far too much money.
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And then again,
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I love my stylist.
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She was amazing.
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But this,
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her reaction was probably the reaction that I had and that like,
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oh my God,
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I'm spending all this money and this is it.
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So I,
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I then accepted it.
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And that started on the journey.
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And it is a journey.
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Like what products to use?
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What's the right length?
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Because by then it was longer.
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Do I go shorter?
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It's such a journey.
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And then when I start to go gray,
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like what do I color?
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We're still working through.
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I've had a couple of therapy sessions here,
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but that's,
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it's,
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it's an ongoing journey,
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but then so is pretty much everything in life.
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Yeah.
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I mean,
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I think Alex and I can both attest to the get okay with it.
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I know Alex,
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you've had your own personal experiences growing up.
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with what your hair is like and what that journey is.
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Exactly.
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So my realization of having curly hair wasn't that I had curly hair because I was told my hair was nappy.
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So
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I didn't realize I had curly hair until I finally got to a point after relaxing my hair for 20 years and fighting with my hair for my whole life that I was just like,
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you know,
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I was learning my son's hair because he was about,
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you know,
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getting to be about a year old and I was learning his curls.
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And I'm like,
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if...
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I gave birth to him and he has curls.
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I probably got the same hair.
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So let me see what's up under here.
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You know,
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if I leave these relaxers alone and that's when I realized I had curly hair and then the floodgates opened and I was,
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you know,
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scrounging YouTube and Instagram and TikTok for any wisdom I could find on curly hair.
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But
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I found a lot of good marketing,
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not really the wisdom
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I needed until I came to Oasis.
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Yes.
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That marketing piece,
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I mean,
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it gets every curly person.
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Because again,
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we're being told to manage it,
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to tame our mane,
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and it's unrealistic for our hair.
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It's not what our hair is meant to do.
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Our hair is perfectly okay the way it is,
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and it needs more representation.
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And I mean,
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how many of us feel represented in the world with our natural texture,
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realistically here?
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No one.
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It's not a thing.
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Not yet,
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at least.
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Allison?
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Okay,
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yeah,
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it was perfect.
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So growing up,
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I was one of six kids,
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and my brother nicknamed me
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Rattles because I had ratty hair.
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Like,
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that's what he,
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that's what they,
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because it was curly.
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My siblings had manageable hair.
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I also couldn't wash it every day or every other day like the kids in school,
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and I think that they knew that.
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So that was another form of,
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like,
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teasing,
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you know.
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Dorothy Hamill was a big hair.
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I couldn't do that hairdo.
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My sister,
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first day of school.
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I mean,
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I'm over it.
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It sounds like I'm killing it.
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But I remember she had the Dorothy Hamill and she had dark hair and dark eyes like her.
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And I had this bouffant that looked awful.
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And I was in the first grade.
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I looked like I was 40.
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So it's interesting.
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I didn't get curly embracing until I came here in my mid-40s.
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Up until that point,
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I would often chemically treat it or flat iron it.
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It was constantly up in a bun or a scrunchie because I didn't know how to either manage it or embrace it.
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And I think if you grow up in a period of time where that's the beauty is that the blonde poker straight hair or the Farrah Fawcett feathered hair,
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and you can't achieve that,
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you try to hide it or mask it or manipulate it.
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And it never,
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I think the woman over here had said the second I would hit outside,
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no matter how much they did to manipulate.
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And it was a lot.
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it would be like what happened you know so it's great in this age of 2023 that we're i'm seeing more even curly-haired actresses on tv that's a nice thing to see because i used to try to like find those individuals the only one i remember it was er i can't remember her name julia something and i was like oh finally acrylic yes and it was great because i saw a curly-haired actress on tv who wasn't doing
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the jennifer aniston look so
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I know,
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which only reinforced I should be doing something to manipulate my hair not to be curly.
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So thank you for.
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No,
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absolutely.
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Thank you for sharing.
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It's important to highlight these moments when we do finally realize.
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Someone over here.
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Oh,
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please come up.
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My perspective on my curly hair has been difficult and associated with a lot of pain.
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I'm a member of the baby boomer generation.
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And during a time when
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I was growing,
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and I'm five generations removed from slavery.
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So that's the environment I grew up in.
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And as I was,
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until I could manage my hair myself,
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getting my hair done.
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Getting my hair washed,
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even washed,
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was painful because what followed was a painful...
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step of getting my hair straightened with a hot comb and grease and the grease would run it down into my scalp and burn my scalp.
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That's what they did and the perspective on curly hair when I was growing up was that it was there was something wrong with you that you had not been that God had not treated you well.
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by giving you curly hair and that you were not an attractive person because of it.
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And so everything that could be done to make your hair straight was done.
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As a matter of fact,
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I think in some of the cotillions you had to pass the test to have straight hair.
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I know there was the brown bag test.
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You had to,
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00:10:51.020 --> 00:10:54.061
your skin had to be lighter than a brown paper bag in order to be,
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to,
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yes,
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be allowed in,
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but straight hair was also a requirement.
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00:11:00.940 --> 00:11:18.087
And I think the thing I want to share with you that is most painful to me and also representative of how my generation viewed curly hair was my mother's last words to me on her dying bed was
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to get my hair straight.
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That's how important it was.
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And the amount of money that I've spent,
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because when I went to work in corporate America,
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you could not have curly hair.
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00:11:41.478 --> 00:11:42.238
I drew up and,
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00:11:42.578 --> 00:11:42.839
you know,
283
00:11:42.959 --> 00:11:49.083
I was an adult when the notion of wearing an afro became acceptable.
284
00:11:50.244 --> 00:11:51.765
And so.
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00:11:52.629 --> 00:11:54.230
When I came into corporate America,
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00:11:54.490 --> 00:11:55.410
you couldn't do that,
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00:11:55.971 --> 00:11:56.991
and particularly women,
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00:11:57.211 --> 00:11:57.731
by the way,
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00:11:57.851 --> 00:12:00.152
because there was a lot of bias.
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00:12:00.192 --> 00:12:01.213
I went to work for
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00:12:01.753 --> 00:12:10.497
AT&T, and the attitude toward women at that time was that only women of ill repute went to work.
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00:12:11.257 --> 00:12:13.718
So in order to come into a company building,
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you had to have white gloves and a hat.
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00:12:18.660 --> 00:12:19.600
And fortunately,
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00:12:19.700 --> 00:12:20.841
I lived to see that.
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00:12:21.061 --> 00:12:22.402
change over time.
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00:12:23.002 --> 00:12:23.243
But,
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00:12:23.943 --> 00:12:24.223
you know,
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00:12:24.283 --> 00:12:28.826
so there was the feminine beauty aspects to deal with.
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00:12:29.267 --> 00:12:31.528
And there was also the,
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00:12:32.769 --> 00:12:35.151
I will call it the ethnic aspects to deal with.
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00:12:35.691 --> 00:12:35.811
So
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00:12:38.513 --> 00:12:49.701
I am so pleased to have witnessed that whole transformation and to discover that it's no longer considered a thing.
304
00:12:49.805 --> 00:12:52.287
that there's something wrong with you or that you're defective.
305
00:12:52.547 --> 00:12:53.128
As a matter of fact,
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00:12:53.168 --> 00:12:54.389
I have girlfriends,
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00:12:54.429 --> 00:12:57.411
I have a girlfriend who is blonde and blue eyed,
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00:12:57.691 --> 00:12:59.253
her hair is curlier than mine.
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00:12:59.913 --> 00:13:04.357
So a lot of those myths and attitudes have changed over time.
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00:13:04.797 --> 00:13:05.878
And I just want to say,
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00:13:06.458 --> 00:13:07.059
I'm glad.
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00:13:12.663 --> 00:13:13.064
Thank you,
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00:13:13.124 --> 00:13:13.424
Joe.
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00:13:13.644 --> 00:13:16.507
You made some amazing points with your words.
315
00:13:16.567 --> 00:13:19.369
You had mentioned the cultural
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00:13:19.745 --> 00:13:24.506
background of course but also the ancestral background of natural hair and
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00:13:24.907 --> 00:13:41.311
I'm sure for not only African American women but for women of many different ethnic groups women and men people out there have experienced their as Alex loves to say their ancestral wisdom behind their hair and the fact that people who were not of a certain standard
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00:13:41.551 --> 00:13:47.293
in this country and in many other countries have experienced discrimination based off of their hair
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00:13:47.593 --> 00:13:47.813
I mean,
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00:13:47.873 --> 00:13:48.774
even in the workplace,
321
00:13:48.794 --> 00:13:49.654
like you had mentioned,
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00:13:49.674 --> 00:13:51.816
we have the Crown Act now that,
323
00:13:52.136 --> 00:13:52.376
you know,
324
00:13:52.616 --> 00:13:59.901
banned the discrimination of natural hair textures in the workplace because it is that deep and it goes so much deeper beyond that.
325
00:13:59.901 --> 00:14:00.122
I mean,
326
00:14:00.142 --> 00:14:00.342
Alex,
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00:14:00.382 --> 00:14:04.124
I know you have your own experience with workplace discrimination of hair.
328
00:14:04.384 --> 00:14:04.525
Oh,
329
00:14:04.565 --> 00:14:05.165
my gosh.
330
00:14:05.205 --> 00:14:05.485
Yes.
331
00:14:05.625 --> 00:14:13.931
So I spent a good eight years on active duty in the military and the hair standards have come a long way,
332
00:14:14.311 --> 00:14:16.713
like as far as the inclusivity of it all.
333
00:14:17.405 --> 00:14:18.666
But back when I came in,
334
00:14:19.006 --> 00:14:28.513
I just can't remember being in technical training school and having my hair out and like a little puff behind my hat and everything.
335
00:14:28.693 --> 00:14:28.993
And,
336
00:14:29.133 --> 00:14:29.394
you know,
337
00:14:29.434 --> 00:14:30.094
a T.I.
338
00:14:30.174 --> 00:14:31.715
walked up to me and just was like,
339
00:14:31.915 --> 00:14:32.155
you know,
340
00:14:32.155 --> 00:14:33.817
I bet if I put a ruler up to your hair,
341
00:14:33.877 --> 00:14:35.438
it's greater than three inches in bulk,
342
00:14:35.518 --> 00:14:38.260
which was the dress and appearance standard for women's hair.
343
00:14:38.960 --> 00:14:39.801
And I was just like,
344
00:14:39.821 --> 00:14:39.941
well,
345
00:14:39.981 --> 00:14:41.502
I can't really like that's my hair.
346
00:14:41.662 --> 00:14:42.263
What you want me to do?
347
00:14:44.224 --> 00:14:44.584
You know,
348
00:14:44.764 --> 00:14:45.545
but it just.
349
00:14:46.273 --> 00:14:46.734
Thankfully,
350
00:14:46.794 --> 00:14:53.266
the standards have changed to a point where they include people whose hair is just naturally bulky and...
351
00:14:53.974 --> 00:14:54.254
you know,
352
00:14:54.554 --> 00:15:02.756
we can live our lives now in a way that includes everyone instead of excluding people simply for the way the hair grows out of their scalp.
353
00:15:03.377 --> 00:15:04.077
Absolutely.
354
00:15:04.337 --> 00:15:05.817
And what Sydney's referring to,
355
00:15:06.077 --> 00:15:08.998
I don't know if you all are aware of what the Crown Act is.
356
00:15:10.258 --> 00:15:10.759
It is,
357
00:15:11.999 --> 00:15:12.399
what is it,
358
00:15:12.379 --> 00:15:17.460
an act that's being proposed and it's going state by state where people can wear their,
359
00:15:18.321 --> 00:15:23.522
you can't discriminate against natural texture in the workplace.
360
00:15:23.562 --> 00:15:24.564
place.
361
00:15:24.564 --> 00:15:24.805
Yeah,
362
00:15:26.148 --> 00:15:28.313
and of course this goes for curlies of all types,
363
00:15:28.353 --> 00:15:30.337
but how many of you guys have,
364
00:15:30.517 --> 00:15:30.778
you know,
365
00:15:30.858 --> 00:15:32.361
gotten ready for work one day and...
366
00:15:32.682 --> 00:15:51.595
your curls had started to curl maybe you had recently gotten a blowout or some kind of straightening style and then that little bit of frizz starts peeking through that tiny bit of curl starts to show itself and then you think am i going to be questioned for how my hair looks is this professional i mean what defines professionalism the way my hair is straightened or
367
00:15:51.795 --> 00:16:02.222
how i show up and perform my job good one absolutely yeah and earlier i think Ausha you were saying and for special occasions i would get it straightened
368
00:16:02.822 --> 00:16:04.103
We hear that so much.
369
00:16:04.824 --> 00:16:05.104
You know,
370
00:16:05.244 --> 00:16:06.325
it's a special occasion.
371
00:16:06.485 --> 00:16:07.886
I have to get my hair straightened.
372
00:16:07.946 --> 00:16:10.347
Why don't you bleach your skin while you're at it,
373
00:16:10.527 --> 00:16:10.788
right?
374
00:16:10.968 --> 00:16:12.449
Or whatever else.
375
00:16:12.449 --> 00:16:12.769
I don't know,
376
00:16:12.789 --> 00:16:13.609
get a nose job.
377
00:16:13.649 --> 00:16:13.890
I mean,
378
00:16:13.890 --> 00:16:17.412
that's really what we're saying because it's part of our biological makeup.
379
00:16:17.492 --> 00:16:30.908
up and so that's also I think what you're alluding to Sydney is you know how do you feel represented in the world how do you feel as far as curly hair and professionalism I'd love to hear some thoughts around that
380
00:16:33.814 --> 00:16:34.154
Hi,
381
00:16:34.475 --> 00:16:35.215
I'm Nichelle.
382
00:16:35.715 --> 00:16:41.199
I am a longtime believer in this space.
383
00:16:41.579 --> 00:16:48.624
It was this space that helped me to understand that I had a network of people that
384
00:16:48.644 --> 00:16:56.253
that could help me overcome some of the trauma that I had that came along with the expectation of straight hair.
385
00:16:57.234 --> 00:17:00.598
I work at a predominantly white institution in Washington,
386
00:17:00.658 --> 00:17:00.939
DC.
387
00:17:01.780 --> 00:17:02.841
And when I got my job,
388
00:17:02.861 --> 00:17:03.602
of course I had to.
389
00:17:03.602 --> 00:17:05.964
to straighten my hair and
390
00:17:07.585 --> 00:17:18.512
I definitely feel like there are these expectations that you're more professional you are seen to be more validated if you have the straight hair.
391
00:17:19.934 --> 00:17:26.121
coming into this space coming into your like support network
392
00:17:26.802 --> 00:17:32.128
I just felt like I was available to combat some of the like
393
00:17:34.310 --> 00:17:39.715
hurt that comes with denying aspects of my personality that come with the curly hair
394
00:17:40.556 --> 00:17:44.560
I definitely love when I can go through my school community
395
00:17:44.900 --> 00:17:50.245
I'm a pre-k teacher and I love that the kids are like
396
00:17:51.350 --> 00:17:52.691
You have curly hair,
397
00:17:52.851 --> 00:17:55.151
like you wear your hair in this,
398
00:17:55.611 --> 00:17:55.852
you know,
399
00:17:55.892 --> 00:17:56.932
kind of this afro.
400
00:17:57.292 --> 00:17:57.492
And
401
00:17:58.432 --> 00:18:03.474
I love that I can say to kids who are curious about touching someone's hair,
402
00:18:03.874 --> 00:18:04.074
like,
403
00:18:04.314 --> 00:18:05.035
don't touch my hair.
404
00:18:05.175 --> 00:18:05.935
Let's read this book.
405
00:18:06.315 --> 00:18:08.656
There's a rare old book called Don't Touch My Hair.
406
00:18:09.556 --> 00:18:12.217
And historically speaking,
407
00:18:12.357 --> 00:18:14.338
I think predominantly white institutions.
408
00:18:15.674 --> 00:18:16.595
the lower school,
409
00:18:16.935 --> 00:18:18.216
the elementary level,
410
00:18:18.336 --> 00:18:20.778
there's a lot of curiosity that comes with.
411
00:18:21.358 --> 00:18:21.478
So
412
00:18:22.399 --> 00:18:33.086
I definitely know that the courage and the affirmation that I received in this space and actually coming to appointments where I'm like,
413
00:18:33.266 --> 00:18:33.526
oh,
414
00:18:33.586 --> 00:18:33.806
okay,
415
00:18:33.847 --> 00:18:34.467
so everyone,
416
00:18:34.787 --> 00:18:35.087
you know,
417
00:18:35.187 --> 00:18:37.309
the level of melanin is different.
418
00:18:37.649 --> 00:18:38.910
The people that come here,
419
00:18:39.390 --> 00:18:43.193
they all have this curly hair journey and you're my sister.
420
00:18:43.673 --> 00:18:44.374
You're my people.
421
00:18:45.362 --> 00:18:50.747
And you embrace your journey in the same way that I do,
422
00:18:51.127 --> 00:18:53.269
in a way that I never did before.
423
00:18:53.810 --> 00:18:58.274
Like you open up the space for me to see that I'm not by myself.
424
00:18:58.454 --> 00:19:00.416
And as an early childhood professional,
425
00:19:00.916 --> 00:19:02.918
I only encourage.
426
00:19:03.254 --> 00:19:04.715
individuals to be who they are.
427
00:19:05.596 --> 00:19:06.016
Beautiful,
428
00:19:06.076 --> 00:19:06.476
Nichelle.
429
00:19:06.496 --> 00:19:07.737
Thank you.
430
00:19:09.338 --> 00:19:10.579
And to go off,
431
00:19:10.599 --> 00:19:14.141
you made some amazing points about it's not just ethnic.
432
00:19:14.682 --> 00:19:14.962
I mean,
433
00:19:15.042 --> 00:19:18.084
how many white women with curly hair felt
434
00:19:18.084 --> 00:19:22.129
felt like they could not go to a non-white salon to get their hair done?
435
00:19:22.589 --> 00:19:24.892
How many of them felt uncomfortable walking in the door saying,
436
00:19:25.253 --> 00:19:26.734
they're not gonna know how to treat my hair,
437
00:19:27.215 --> 00:19:28.617
they're not going to know what to do with my hair,
438
00:19:29.137 --> 00:19:29.438
right?
439
00:19:29.438 --> 00:19:30.859
And then let's switch that role.
440
00:19:30.879 --> 00:19:32.962
How many women of color have gone to a
441
00:19:33.122 --> 00:19:34.864
predominantly white salon and said,
442
00:19:34.864 --> 00:19:36.245
I don't know what to do with my hair.
443
00:19:36.726 --> 00:19:37.747
That wall is there.
444
00:19:38.167 --> 00:19:43.512
That ethnic wall is there throughout this entire community and it is so much greater than it seems.
445
00:19:43.532 --> 00:19:48.757
The curly industry is one of the most beautiful things because we tried to break down that barrier.
446
00:19:49.438 --> 00:19:51.660
We tried to eliminate the divide between
447
00:19:52.788 --> 00:20:01.690
I mean white and non-white people and say you know what most people in this universe have curly hair why can't we come together and do it as one
448
00:20:03.651 --> 00:20:05.411
I love those points Michelle thank you
449
00:20:06.052 --> 00:20:16.875
Susan so I want to um say that I had no idea what the topic was tonight and I think that that was definitely not a coincidence
450
00:20:17.695 --> 00:20:21.716
I had no idea about any of this hardship
451
00:20:22.316 --> 00:20:24.737
And I've always wanted to have curly hair.
452
00:20:25.897 --> 00:20:27.377
And the fact of the matter is,
453
00:20:27.577 --> 00:20:29.138
while you all were speaking,
454
00:20:29.678 --> 00:20:32.879
is like the person I want to date,
455
00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:34.819
I want him to have curly hair.
456
00:20:35.940 --> 00:20:37.100
And so I want,
457
00:20:37.840 --> 00:20:38.580
and I spent,
458
00:20:38.621 --> 00:20:41.381
I remember my mom used to buy these curlers,
459
00:20:41.761 --> 00:20:45.102
those foam pink curlers and the electric curlers.
460
00:20:45.102 --> 00:20:46.023
And you snapped them in.
461
00:20:46.463 --> 00:20:51.304
And I used to always love like to put curlers in my hair and have.
462
00:20:51.424 --> 00:20:52.564
curly hair and
463
00:20:53.064 --> 00:21:00.967
I also got perms as a kid and they never looked as beautiful as your hair.
464
00:21:01.307 --> 00:21:03.287
I didn't have trauma over my hair.
465
00:21:03.408 --> 00:21:05.128
So what didn't walk around saying,
466
00:21:05.608 --> 00:21:05.748
oh,
467
00:21:05.748 --> 00:21:05.868
I'm,
468
00:21:06.108 --> 00:21:08.549
I'm feeling trauma because my hair is not curly,
469
00:21:09.049 --> 00:21:13.310
but I always thought curly haired people were more fun.
470
00:21:17.772 --> 00:21:18.532
And I was like,
471
00:21:18.852 --> 00:21:21.613
And I'm noticing I had all these biases and stereotypes,
472
00:21:21.613 --> 00:21:22.813
and I was just thinking about that.
473
00:21:23.333 --> 00:21:23.553
And
474
00:21:24.113 --> 00:21:25.334
I remember recently,
475
00:21:25.994 --> 00:21:27.854
so now that you're all talking about this,
476
00:21:28.735 --> 00:21:35.677
I really started to see more curly hair because I remember one time a woman had a beautiful,
477
00:21:36.277 --> 00:21:41.558
very high curly hair do experience,
478
00:21:41.778 --> 00:21:42.078
whatever.
479
00:21:42.318 --> 00:21:47.880
And I almost didn't tell her how beautiful her hair was because I was afraid to.
480
00:21:48.420 --> 00:21:48.660
So.
481
00:21:48.820 --> 00:21:50.941
And now I'm wondering why,
482
00:21:51.502 --> 00:21:53.443
I wonder why that was.
483
00:21:53.903 --> 00:21:58.266
And maybe I was picking up that there was some trauma behind the hair,
484
00:21:59.067 --> 00:22:00.527
or I didn't want to insult.
485
00:22:00.607 --> 00:22:03.249
Maybe it was the white divide,
486
00:22:03.669 --> 00:22:03.990
you know,
487
00:22:04.010 --> 00:22:05.370
because this was a black woman.
488
00:22:05.871 --> 00:22:07.472
But her hair was really cool.
489
00:22:07.492 --> 00:22:10.093
It had different curls and colors,
490
00:22:10.133 --> 00:22:12.075
and she was so beautiful,
491
00:22:12.095 --> 00:22:12.455
the hair,
492
00:22:12.475 --> 00:22:12.715
you know.
493
00:22:13.235 --> 00:22:13.355
So,
494
00:22:13.375 --> 00:22:14.056
um...
495
00:22:14.296 --> 00:22:19.380
I can't wait to come here and get my hair more curly because it's wavy.
496
00:22:19.540 --> 00:22:22.082
So maybe we can boost it up and I can like,
497
00:22:22.402 --> 00:22:22.702
you know,
498
00:22:22.822 --> 00:22:23.343
do whatever.
499
00:22:24.984 --> 00:22:25.704
You do it tonight.
500
00:22:28.206 --> 00:22:28.506
Yes,
501
00:22:28.626 --> 00:22:29.107
Christina.
502
00:22:30.127 --> 00:22:31.048
I would love to actually.
503
00:22:31.048 --> 00:22:36.592
So I'm Christina and I've been sitting next to Linda and we just had this conversation about how we think her hair is curly.
504
00:22:37.553 --> 00:22:37.873
And
505
00:22:38.253 --> 00:22:42.036
I actually started coming to this salon when I was 16 years old.
506
00:22:43.192 --> 00:22:47.395
And my hair was straight because I was blow drying it all the time.
507
00:22:47.995 --> 00:22:48.875
And when
508
00:22:49.256 --> 00:22:52.337
Wafeya started getting into the curly,
509
00:22:53.498 --> 00:22:53.618
she,
510
00:22:54.638 --> 00:22:54.759
we,
511
00:22:54.919 --> 00:23:00.522
I think we had the same conversation every time I came here for a year about how my hair was actually curly.
512
00:23:00.682 --> 00:23:01.242
And I was like,
513
00:23:01.262 --> 00:23:01.382
no,
514
00:23:01.462 --> 00:23:01.582
no,
515
00:23:02.022 --> 00:23:02.143
no,
516
00:23:02.183 --> 00:23:02.563
it's not.
517
00:23:02.743 --> 00:23:03.243
And then
518
00:23:04.384 --> 00:23:07.585
I would leave after I like asked her to blow dry it.
519
00:23:08.926 --> 00:23:10.067
And then I would come back.
520
00:23:11.728 --> 00:23:11.848
So.
521
00:23:12.424 --> 00:23:13.784
Thank goodness now that's,
522
00:23:14.485 --> 00:23:21.927
I think now I've been wearing it only curly for 20 years and I have not blow dried it in at least 10 years.
523
00:23:22.627 --> 00:23:22.967
And
524
00:23:23.527 --> 00:23:24.327
I, I'm me,
525
00:23:24.948 --> 00:23:25.528
I'm me now.
526
00:23:25.948 --> 00:23:27.208
I love it.
527
00:23:27.248 --> 00:23:28.328
That's beautiful.
528
00:23:31.349 --> 00:23:32.070
I love that too.
529
00:23:33.150 --> 00:23:38.451
Somewhat wavy and swavy women have just spoken because that's also a huge divide in the curly community.
530
00:23:38.851 --> 00:23:40.652
And I have to speak for myself on this one.
531
00:23:40.812 --> 00:23:40.932
I'd
532
00:23:41.172 --> 00:23:41.972
if you had a wave,
533
00:23:41.972 --> 00:23:44.093
I didn't think you were curly before I started working here.
534
00:23:44.474 --> 00:23:44.814
I was like,
535
00:23:44.834 --> 00:23:44.954
oh,
536
00:23:44.974 --> 00:23:45.534
it's wavy hair.
537
00:23:45.534 --> 00:23:47.235
You have to do so much to encourage it.
538
00:23:47.255 --> 00:23:47.975
It's not curls.
539
00:23:48.355 --> 00:23:49.596
Every type,
540
00:23:49.756 --> 00:23:50.356
every form,
541
00:23:50.416 --> 00:23:51.597
every bend in the hair,
542
00:23:51.997 --> 00:23:52.637
that is a curl.
543
00:23:53.037 --> 00:23:56.079
And so many women come in who have wavy hair and they'll say,
544
00:23:56.539 --> 00:23:56.779
well,
545
00:23:56.899 --> 00:24:03.202
everyone tells me it's not curly and I don't know where to go because it doesn't fully work out with like a straight hair technique.
546
00:24:03.622 --> 00:24:05.123
But curly hair doesn't seem to like,
547
00:24:05.163 --> 00:24:06.023
I don't feel like I fit in.
548
00:24:06.043 --> 00:24:06.463
And it's like,
549
00:24:06.503 --> 00:24:06.963
trust me,
550
00:24:07.364 --> 00:24:07.924
you belong.
551
00:24:08.264 --> 00:24:09.245
You are wavy.
552
00:24:09.365 --> 00:24:10.605
You are valid in that.
553
00:24:10.726 --> 00:24:13.467
And it's an experience that you have your own journey on.
554
00:24:13.487 --> 00:24:14.888
That's completely different than mine,
555
00:24:14.968 --> 00:24:15.528
but it's real.
556
00:24:17.470 --> 00:24:21.012
Do you guys want to address some of the surprises,
557
00:24:21.312 --> 00:24:21.532
right?
558
00:24:21.572 --> 00:24:24.474
I know you and I talked about it in your podcast,
559
00:24:24.634 --> 00:24:24.854
and
560
00:24:25.294 --> 00:24:27.075
Alex, because you're the latest edition,
561
00:24:27.195 --> 00:24:35.020
I'd love to hear from you the ancestral wisdom myths that really shocked you.
562
00:24:35.628 --> 00:24:36.428
Oh my goodness.
563
00:24:36.629 --> 00:24:37.609
So when I had my,
564
00:24:37.689 --> 00:24:39.450
I call it my Oasis baptism.
565
00:24:42.311 --> 00:24:43.752
My first day of work here,
566
00:24:43.812 --> 00:24:45.253
like onboarding and everything,
567
00:24:45.393 --> 00:24:46.453
right before I was about to leave,
568
00:24:46.453 --> 00:24:46.994
what Faye said,
569
00:24:47.014 --> 00:24:48.214
so do you want us to set your curls?
570
00:24:48.214 --> 00:24:48.614
And I was like,
571
00:24:48.634 --> 00:24:48.895
yes,
572
00:24:49.135 --> 00:24:49.735
of course.
573
00:24:49.795 --> 00:24:50.095
Like,
574
00:24:50.575 --> 00:24:51.736
I'm in the curly Oasis.
575
00:24:51.816 --> 00:24:51.976
Yes,
576
00:24:52.016 --> 00:24:52.997
I want my curls set.
577
00:24:53.617 --> 00:24:55.878
And so everyone came by and is washing my hair,
578
00:24:55.938 --> 00:24:59.700
and I left out of here with my curls looking more beautiful than they've ever looked before.
579
00:25:00.248 --> 00:25:02.469
And then I get home the next couple of days and I'm like,
580
00:25:02.489 --> 00:25:03.890
so when do I oil my scalp?
581
00:25:04.030 --> 00:25:04.230
And,
582
00:25:04.630 --> 00:25:04.951
you know,
583
00:25:05.051 --> 00:25:05.251
like,
584
00:25:05.291 --> 00:25:05.711
what do I,
585
00:25:05.731 --> 00:25:08.172
how do I maintain this and everything?
586
00:25:08.172 --> 00:25:08.693
And they're like,
587
00:25:08.713 --> 00:25:08.913
yeah,
588
00:25:08.933 --> 00:25:09.693
no oils.
589
00:25:09.773 --> 00:25:09.893
So,
590
00:25:10.634 --> 00:25:14.376
so much of what we were taught all our lives to grease our scalps,
591
00:25:14.936 --> 00:25:18.818
to seal in the moisture with heavy oils and things.
592
00:25:18.858 --> 00:25:20.999
Like a lot of it is just that,
593
00:25:21.099 --> 00:25:22.440
it's ancestral wisdom.
594
00:25:23.160 --> 00:25:29.184
But ancestral wisdom is really based in your ancestors doing the best they could with what they had.
595
00:25:30.824 --> 00:25:31.104
And,
596
00:25:31.865 --> 00:25:32.165
you know,
597
00:25:32.265 --> 00:25:34.146
we had to grow from that place.
598
00:25:34.666 --> 00:25:38.587
So when I got here is when a lot of that growth happened because
599
00:25:39.008 --> 00:25:40.188
I had been taught to,
600
00:25:40.868 --> 00:25:41.148
you know,
601
00:25:41.329 --> 00:25:42.409
use the blue magic,
602
00:25:43.830 --> 00:25:49.412
the grease with the petrochemicals and the synthetic fragrances and the microplastics.
603
00:25:49.512 --> 00:25:53.854
All the things we tell y'all not to do is what I have been doing my whole life.
604
00:25:53.934 --> 00:25:59.636
So definitely that really helped make me a believer was my own journey since I got here.
605
00:26:00.180 --> 00:26:05.281
learning to like the truth versus like what I had been taught all my life.
606
00:26:06.002 --> 00:26:06.122
Well,
607
00:26:06.182 --> 00:26:07.422
in greasing your scalp,
608
00:26:07.482 --> 00:26:09.743
that's such an interesting concept because,
609
00:26:09.743 --> 00:26:09.983
you know,
610
00:26:10.043 --> 00:26:12.643
we have sebaceous glands that are producing oil.
611
00:26:13.564 --> 00:26:13.964
And,
612
00:26:14.344 --> 00:26:14.644
you know,
613
00:26:14.784 --> 00:26:17.005
if your facial skin is oily,
614
00:26:17.725 --> 00:26:19.145
as the Curly Girl book,
615
00:26:19.685 --> 00:26:19.925
you know,
616
00:26:19.985 --> 00:26:20.486
taught us,
617
00:26:21.106 --> 00:26:21.886
so is your scalp.
618
00:26:21.946 --> 00:26:23.866
It's just an extension of your face.
619
00:26:23.946 --> 00:26:29.448
And so now you're putting these non-water soluble ingredients on it.
620
00:26:29.688 --> 00:26:36.072
that's actually hindering the natural ecosystem of your scalp from functioning properly.
621
00:26:37.814 --> 00:26:38.314
But again,
622
00:26:38.354 --> 00:26:38.594
I mean,
623
00:26:38.594 --> 00:26:39.955
it's not that people are evil.
624
00:26:40.555 --> 00:26:41.616
It's the,
625
00:26:41.616 --> 00:26:41.896
you know,
626
00:26:41.956 --> 00:26:43.117
it's just the awareness,
627
00:26:43.317 --> 00:26:43.537
right?
628
00:26:43.577 --> 00:26:44.758
We're learning more and more.
629
00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:50.822
And I love that you mentioned the microplastics and the petrochemicals.
630
00:26:51.083 --> 00:26:51.283
And,
631
00:26:51.843 --> 00:26:52.103
you know,
632
00:26:52.584 --> 00:26:52.824
yes,
633
00:26:52.904 --> 00:26:54.245
we do have gentlemen here.
634
00:26:54.705 --> 00:26:56.646
I'm going to speak to everyone,
635
00:26:56.706 --> 00:26:57.387
but ladies,
636
00:26:57.507 --> 00:26:59.108
especially because we're...
637
00:26:59.372 --> 00:27:06.317
We're the ones spending more time on lotions and makeup and hair and all the things that we put on our bodies.
638
00:27:06.877 --> 00:27:07.818
Do your research.
639
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:14.502
Just take the first five ingredients and look it up through the Environmental Working Group.
640
00:27:15.043 --> 00:27:17.284
And there's another app that is called INCI,
641
00:27:17.604 --> 00:27:18.445
I-N-C-I,
642
00:27:18.645 --> 00:27:19.386
that's out of Europe,
643
00:27:19.426 --> 00:27:23.548
because European standards are a little stricter than ours.
644
00:27:24.049 --> 00:27:27.291
And see what you're actually putting on your bodies.
645
00:27:27.491 --> 00:27:28.832
What is your skin absorbing?
646
00:27:29.032 --> 00:27:30.593
We do a lot of research here,
647
00:27:30.773 --> 00:27:39.720
and what we're finding the most is that a lot of the ingredients that are used in our beauty care actually disrupt our endocrine system.
648
00:27:40.580 --> 00:27:40.861
I mean,
649
00:27:40.861 --> 00:27:41.561
that's serious.
650
00:27:41.741 --> 00:27:42.922
Hormones are everything.
651
00:27:43.723 --> 00:27:44.083
And,
652
00:27:44.723 --> 00:27:45.023
you know,
653
00:27:45.964 --> 00:27:47.225
just do the research.
654
00:27:47.465 --> 00:27:51.528
And we're finding also that in brown and black communities,
655
00:27:51.688 --> 00:27:56.752
there are more incidents and risks of cancer that is linked.
656
00:27:57.092 --> 00:27:59.133
to disruption of the endocrine system.
657
00:27:59.854 --> 00:28:00.574
And again,
658
00:28:00.634 --> 00:28:02.335
manufacturers are not evil,
659
00:28:02.956 --> 00:28:04.537
but we do vote with our dollar.
660
00:28:05.217 --> 00:28:14.543
And so if we can take the time to become aware and educated and start making more demands and supporting companies that are taking these things more seriously,
661
00:28:15.083 --> 00:28:18.705
then eventually there will be a tidal wave and everything will change.
662
00:28:19.746 --> 00:28:19.946
Yeah,
663
00:28:20.066 --> 00:28:20.646
absolutely.
664
00:28:20.746 --> 00:28:22.267
It's time for change.
665
00:28:22.307 --> 00:28:23.388
And I think that's something that...
666
00:28:23.904 --> 00:28:26.546
is heavily focused on in the curl community,
667
00:28:26.987 --> 00:28:28.328
in the world in this day and age,
668
00:28:28.388 --> 00:28:29.028
realistically.
669
00:28:29.169 --> 00:28:30.370
We are moving forward,
670
00:28:30.410 --> 00:28:31.971
and that's one thing that we have to do with our hair,
671
00:28:32.091 --> 00:28:33.112
is move forward.
672
00:28:33.372 --> 00:28:36.014
We cannot continue to be held to these standards.
673
00:28:36.555 --> 00:28:36.815
Yes,
674
00:28:37.015 --> 00:28:37.316
Luby.
675
00:28:38.517 --> 00:28:40.058
I want to say that
676
00:28:40.758 --> 00:28:44.522
Wafaa changed my life.
677
00:28:45.422 --> 00:28:48.385
Because as a public speaker,
678
00:28:49.486 --> 00:28:50.206
and
679
00:28:50.767 --> 00:28:51.748
I always said,
680
00:28:52.916 --> 00:28:55.698
I need to look professional.
681
00:28:56.579 --> 00:28:59.501
And to look professional meant
682
00:29:00.121 --> 00:29:10.889
I had to go get my hair straightened and do the whole thing of getting it rolled,
683
00:29:11.849 --> 00:29:13.010
blow-dried,
684
00:29:14.091 --> 00:29:17.293
ironed to look good,
685
00:29:18.134 --> 00:29:18.514
right?
686
00:29:19.435 --> 00:29:20.996
To look right.
687
00:29:21.916 --> 00:29:26.703
to fit in what was considered professional.
688
00:29:28.124 --> 00:29:32.110
And it was when I was asked to speak.
689
00:29:33.454 --> 00:29:36.397
at Microsoft for Martin Luther King Jr.
690
00:29:36.817 --> 00:29:37.358
weekend.
691
00:29:37.798 --> 00:29:38.379
And I said,
692
00:29:38.479 --> 00:29:39.580
what am I doing?
693
00:29:40.101 --> 00:29:40.961
Am I going to go?
694
00:29:41.942 --> 00:29:44.024
And as one of the speakers said,
695
00:29:44.525 --> 00:29:46.607
am I going to be authentically me?
696
00:29:47.648 --> 00:29:49.610
Or am I going to be what?
697
00:29:50.526 --> 00:29:53.588
so-called others think I should be.
698
00:29:54.828 --> 00:29:56.089
And that was the beginning.
699
00:29:56.529 --> 00:30:02.273
And Wafat knows every time I had something to go to,
700
00:30:03.253 --> 00:30:08.416
I didn't go anymore to the Dominican Republican hairdressers,
701
00:30:08.456 --> 00:30:12.518
who I loved and spent hours.
702
00:30:13.259 --> 00:30:14.379
But I came here,
703
00:30:15.500 --> 00:30:17.701
and coming here was coming home.
704
00:30:18.702 --> 00:30:19.222
Aww.
705
00:30:19.882 --> 00:30:21.202
having hair was coming home.
706
00:30:21.662 --> 00:30:22.723
It's beautiful.
707
00:30:23.243 --> 00:30:23.583
You know,
708
00:30:24.003 --> 00:30:26.684
I grew up the first time I went to a hairdresser,
709
00:30:27.204 --> 00:30:28.304
a white hairdresser,
710
00:30:28.304 --> 00:30:30.465
and the first thing I heard as a child was,
711
00:30:31.125 --> 00:30:32.565
she has bad hair.
712
00:30:34.246 --> 00:30:34.686
And
713
00:30:37.747 --> 00:30:39.607
I feel for the girls,
714
00:30:40.968 --> 00:30:41.988
and that's why
715
00:30:42.788 --> 00:30:49.050
I brought a young woman here that I said I wanted her to know.
716
00:30:50.234 --> 00:30:51.414
before she goes to
717
00:30:51.854 --> 00:30:52.575
NYU.
718
00:30:58.076 --> 00:30:59.537
Katty, I said,
719
00:30:59.597 --> 00:31:00.957
I want you to be here.
720
00:31:02.037 --> 00:31:04.998
I want you to hear what they've got,
721
00:31:05.818 --> 00:31:08.799
because this is something that mattered to me,
722
00:31:09.299 --> 00:31:11.240
that I wish I knew at 18.
723
00:31:12.520 --> 00:31:15.661
So we pass it forward.
724
00:31:17.381 --> 00:31:17.822
Thank you.
725
00:31:20.702 --> 00:31:21.062
Thank you.
726
00:31:21.062 --> 00:31:21.262
Thank you,
727
00:31:21.262 --> 00:31:21.422
Ruby.
728
00:31:22.483 --> 00:31:23.483
And I just want to say,
729
00:31:23.563 --> 00:31:23.783
you know,
730
00:31:23.863 --> 00:31:25.163
she's giving me credit,
731
00:31:25.283 --> 00:31:26.884
but really it is a collective.
732
00:31:27.104 --> 00:31:30.965
And there are curl specialists all over the country.
733
00:31:31.725 --> 00:31:33.785
It is definitely growing more and more.
734
00:31:33.985 --> 00:31:34.565
Not enough,
735
00:31:35.365 --> 00:31:40.587
but I do want to make that clear that that is something that is happening in the world.
736
00:31:41.227 --> 00:31:41.687
Yes,
737
00:31:42.067 --> 00:31:42.647
absolutely.
738
00:31:42.667 --> 00:31:42.787
And,
739
00:31:42.787 --> 00:31:43.027
Ruby,
740
00:31:43.047 --> 00:31:45.248
you made numerous amazing points.
741
00:31:45.268 --> 00:31:45.608
For one,
742
00:31:45.668 --> 00:31:46.428
thank you so much.
743
00:31:46.588 --> 00:31:49.429
for sharing and bringing someone into this space.
744
00:31:49.469 --> 00:31:51.290
I think that's a lot of times people,
745
00:31:51.590 --> 00:31:51.830
you know,
746
00:31:51.890 --> 00:31:54.511
get told about these spaces and that's really how we start.
747
00:31:54.971 --> 00:31:56.971
But another point that you made was authenticity.
748
00:31:57.492 --> 00:32:04.414
And I would love to hear anyone who would love to share their story about how authentic they felt prior to.
749
00:32:04.934 --> 00:32:06.135
understanding their curls.
750
00:32:06.155 --> 00:32:06.935
I know for myself,
751
00:32:07.255 --> 00:32:09.536
there was a point when I was getting relaxers and straightening.
752
00:32:09.876 --> 00:32:10.757
And then you asked yourself,
753
00:32:10.797 --> 00:32:12.338
how authentic do I feel?
754
00:32:12.458 --> 00:32:14.018
Or do I feel like I'm fitting into a mold?
755
00:32:14.238 --> 00:32:15.619
This is a Shira again.
756
00:32:15.819 --> 00:32:16.019
Hello,
757
00:32:16.179 --> 00:32:16.480
Shira.
758
00:32:16.740 --> 00:32:18.861
It's just one thing that I want to say about this,
759
00:32:19.141 --> 00:32:21.382
which is that.
760
00:32:22.610 --> 00:32:34.905
I always felt like there was a part of me that was a fraud because of like I had there's embarrassment and this like hiding and I had to change things and
761
00:32:35.445 --> 00:32:42.794
I do have to say that since and I told you my 40s but it's really my mid-40s that I came here and it did
762
00:32:43.214 --> 00:32:58.677
help me feel like myself and a true authentic version you know just living and owning my my look yeah absolutely you you
763
00:32:59.337 --> 00:33:12.100
uh i was born in the united states and i grew up in a predominantly white community and so my curly hair was always something that made me different um and not part of
764
00:33:12.920 --> 00:33:16.204
the crowd and I was already not a popular kid for many reasons.
765
00:33:17.425 --> 00:33:17.545
So
766
00:33:18.205 --> 00:33:27.394
I spent so much time trying to straighten my hair and it would just turn into these like grotesque waves and eventually I
767
00:33:27.394 --> 00:33:29.536
I gave up and just cut it super,
768
00:33:29.596 --> 00:33:30.256
super short.
769
00:33:31.037 --> 00:33:37.202
But that also prevented me from being able to achieve a look that I wanted to achieve.
770
00:33:37.442 --> 00:33:38.543
And over the years,
771
00:33:38.563 --> 00:33:39.784
I tried to grow up my hair.
772
00:33:40.665 --> 00:33:42.987
And I would always hit this like threshold of like two,
773
00:33:43.587 --> 00:33:47.310
two or three inches where the frizz would start coming in and I'll try to control it.
774
00:33:47.410 --> 00:33:51.634
And it just seemed to use more and more handfuls of product every day,
775
00:33:52.474 --> 00:33:54.176
to the point where the hair was just so heavy,
776
00:33:54.236 --> 00:33:55.156
it just looked like
777
00:33:55.677 --> 00:33:56.998
I was dumped to Greece.
778
00:33:57.218 --> 00:33:57.658
to my head.
779
00:34:00.099 --> 00:34:00.439
And then
780
00:34:01.399 --> 00:34:05.480
I gave up for a long time until the pandemic hit and my hair grew out and
781
00:34:05.880 --> 00:34:07.081
I was debating cutting it.
782
00:34:07.101 --> 00:34:07.541
And I was like,
783
00:34:07.541 --> 00:34:07.981
you know what,
784
00:34:08.561 --> 00:34:12.042
let me check out a place that focuses on curly hair.
785
00:34:12.082 --> 00:34:15.403
And I just Googled this and this place was only 10 minutes from where I lived,
786
00:34:15.463 --> 00:34:15.803
luckily,
787
00:34:16.503 --> 00:34:20.064
and came here and it was really transformative.
788
00:34:20.244 --> 00:34:25.986
I walked through those doors and being able to grow out my hair and just...
789
00:34:27.206 --> 00:34:46.536
get that little extra boost of confidence that I needed really had a big impact in me just being able to express myself in other ways and it's been a this place is kind of like family I some someone asked me just today like do I work here I'm like no but I'm here all this
790
00:34:49.493 --> 00:34:49.613
Yeah,
791
00:34:49.793 --> 00:34:58.540
so it's really special to be able to find your authentic beauty and to allow it to shine through.
792
00:34:58.560 --> 00:35:03.423
And then that allows more deeper versions of yourself to emerge as well.
793
00:35:07.907 --> 00:35:08.867
I don't know why,
794
00:35:09.147 --> 00:35:10.488
but this whole conversation,
795
00:35:10.508 --> 00:35:11.289
I'm tearing.
796
00:35:11.930 --> 00:35:12.850
A little bit.
797
00:35:12.850 --> 00:35:14.111
Group curl therapy,
798
00:35:14.391 --> 00:35:15.552
and I'm really here for it.
799
00:35:17.113 --> 00:35:17.734
Anyone else?
800
00:35:17.814 --> 00:35:18.234
Anyone else?
801
00:35:18.254 --> 00:35:18.574
London,
802
00:35:18.614 --> 00:35:21.055
I'm not going to make you speak because you don't want to,
803
00:35:21.155 --> 00:35:23.317
but we do have a young representative here.
804
00:35:24.017 --> 00:35:24.217
Wait,
805
00:35:24.277 --> 00:35:25.077
but how old are you?
806
00:35:26.138 --> 00:35:26.738
Twelve.
807
00:35:27.599 --> 00:35:29.140
That's something to celebrate,
808
00:35:29.180 --> 00:35:33.282
that a 12-year-old gets to feel empowered in her natural crown.
809
00:35:33.582 --> 00:35:36.864
That's definitely something we're very proud of.
810
00:35:37.004 --> 00:35:39.245
And it's one of our favorite things to do,
811
00:35:39.445 --> 00:35:39.665
right?
812
00:35:39.765 --> 00:35:40.226
Yeah,
813
00:35:40.466 --> 00:35:42.307
we love empowering the young generation.
814
00:35:42.407 --> 00:35:43.087
As Luby said,
815
00:35:43.127 --> 00:35:44.008
pass it forward.
816
00:35:44.828 --> 00:35:45.589
Absolutely.
817
00:35:54.816 --> 00:35:57.458
so usually I'm like nervous to talk in front of people
818
00:35:58.939 --> 00:36:03.823
I'm not nervous to be behind the chair but I'm nervous but to talk around people and whatnot okay so
819
00:36:04.984 --> 00:36:10.989
I grew up not being not being black enough and not being white enough and so
820
00:36:13.611 --> 00:36:16.473
I tried everything that I could do to be black
821
00:36:17.613 --> 00:36:19.033
I tried to braid my hair,
822
00:36:20.074 --> 00:36:21.394
straighten my hair with a hot comb,
823
00:36:21.434 --> 00:36:23.175
which was not right for my hair.
824
00:36:25.575 --> 00:36:26.816
My mom killed me about that,
825
00:36:26.956 --> 00:36:27.196
you know.
826
00:36:28.676 --> 00:36:31.417
It was kind of hard because I went to a predominantly black school.
827
00:36:32.497 --> 00:36:36.218
And then I started working at a predominantly straight hair salon.
828
00:36:37.219 --> 00:36:38.499
And I would always tell them,
829
00:36:38.519 --> 00:36:39.219
can I straighten your hair?
830
00:36:39.219 --> 00:36:39.879
Can you straighten my hair?
831
00:36:39.899 --> 00:36:40.600
Can you straighten my hair?
832
00:36:41.320 --> 00:36:42.620
No one wanted to straighten my hair.
833
00:36:42.620 --> 00:36:43.641
They were scared to straighten my hair.
834
00:36:43.641 --> 00:36:45.021
They thought it was going to take a long time.
835
00:36:46.037 --> 00:36:46.538
However,
836
00:36:46.778 --> 00:36:50.541
just coming here and being able to be myself,
837
00:36:50.941 --> 00:36:56.666
I'm just very grateful that we can come here and we can talk about our journey and our stories.
838
00:36:56.726 --> 00:36:58.948
And it's not just one predominantly race.
839
00:36:59.008 --> 00:37:04.492
It's everybody because everyone had their chance to deal with their hair,
840
00:37:05.133 --> 00:37:06.314
deal with their waves.
841
00:37:06.874 --> 00:37:07.975
You curly girl,
842
00:37:07.975 --> 00:37:08.576
don't matter.
843
00:37:08.936 --> 00:37:09.717
You got a crinkle.
844
00:37:10.137 --> 00:37:10.717
It's curly.
845
00:37:11.238 --> 00:37:14.801
But just being able to just do that and just talk freely.
846
00:37:15.381 --> 00:37:17.623
among each other is just amazing.
847
00:37:17.783 --> 00:37:19.604
And we're therapists also.
848
00:37:20.045 --> 00:37:20.465
Y'all know that,
849
00:37:20.565 --> 00:37:20.785
right?
850
00:37:24.088 --> 00:37:24.248
Yeah.
851
00:37:25.069 --> 00:37:26.650
Thank you for letting me talk.
852
00:37:26.690 --> 00:37:27.491
I usually don't talk.
853
00:37:27.531 --> 00:37:28.291
I wasn't going to talk,
854
00:37:28.511 --> 00:37:29.132
but thank you.
855
00:37:32.655 --> 00:37:33.195
Beautiful.
856
00:37:34.756 --> 00:37:37.799
We thank you guys all for your time today.
857
00:37:38.019 --> 00:37:40.461
It is so appreciated to hear everyone's insight.
858
00:37:40.721 --> 00:37:41.702
and their voices.
859
00:37:41.702 --> 00:37:43.423
We want you to know your voice is always heard,
860
00:37:43.523 --> 00:37:44.984
especially in this space.
861
00:37:45.404 --> 00:37:47.466
And just to constantly remember that it's a collective.
862
00:37:47.826 --> 00:37:48.867
It's a collective effort.
863
00:37:48.987 --> 00:37:50.508
It's a collective space.
864
00:37:50.929 --> 00:37:53.490
And it takes each individual person,
865
00:37:53.571 --> 00:37:54.511
each individual Curly,
866
00:37:54.711 --> 00:37:55.072
Wavy,
867
00:37:55.212 --> 00:37:55.632
Swavy,
868
00:37:55.792 --> 00:37:59.015
whoever you are to embrace and empower not only yourself,
869
00:37:59.055 --> 00:38:00.436
but really the future generation.
870
00:38:00.896 --> 00:38:02.697
So thank you guys so much.
871
00:38:02.957 --> 00:38:03.258
Beautiful.
872
00:38:03.278 --> 00:38:03.578
Thank you.
873
00:38:03.578 --> 00:38:04.258
Thank you everyone.
874
00:38:11.325 --> 00:38:14.767
The Curl Code was brought to you from the Oasis Curl Salon at Rockville,
875
00:38:14.767 --> 00:38:15.147
Maryland,
876
00:38:15.607 --> 00:38:18.149
hosted by the one and only Wafeya Abdullah.
877
00:38:19.269 --> 00:38:19.990
If you like the show,
878
00:38:20.550 --> 00:38:21.951
please leave us a five-star rating,
879
00:38:22.111 --> 00:38:24.052
and if you've got some nice things to say,
880
00:38:24.232 --> 00:38:25.393
go ahead and leave us a review.
881
00:38:25.913 --> 00:38:26.933
But most importantly,
882
00:38:27.314 --> 00:38:29.875
please share the show with anyone you think would enjoy it.
883
00:38:31.036 --> 00:38:40.861
Learn more about Curly Oasis at www.curlyoasis.com and continue your curl education journey by finding them on Instagram and YouTube.
884
00:38:43.121 --> 00:38:45.229
The curl code is a Say Miller Production.