Panic at the Cliffs

Photos

View the slideshow of photos that accompany the podcast.

Transcript

One of my bucket list items was to see the English Channel. I had been planning and dreaming about this day for quite some time. I had not, however, planned on an impromptu climb in a pair of waterproof walking shoes that ironically do not have good traction. In this episode, I am going to share how my overactive imagination led to a panic attack on the Cliffs of Dover.

I’m Emily, and you’re listening to Pilgrim’s Postcards–the podcast where every step is a story.

Lisa and I exited Dover train station and were greeted by blue, sunny skies. After a couple of days of rain, we were thankful for the change in weather. Our plan was to find a taxi to take us to the White Cliffs of Dover Visitor Centre. From there, we would have a nice, leisurely walk along the cliffs, enjoy the views of the English Channel, and then return to the train station around lunch time to make our way to Canterbury.

We found a taxi driver just outside the station and told him our destination. He showed us a brochure and gave us a different suggestion. He could drop us off at a footpath near the South Foreland Lighthouse. It would save us some time on our walk, and it was only a few pounds more to drive there instead. I hadn’t planned on walking all the way to the lighthouse, but Lisa and I were feeling adventurous and decided to go along with his suggestion.

The taxi driver had a brochure of the walking route along the Cliffs, and he insisted that we take a picture of it. About 20 minutes later, he dropped us off on the side of a field. This was certainly not what I was expecting. The footpath he showed us looked more like a path a tractor had made through a farmer’s field instead of the trail I had imagined. But we could see the lighthouse in the distance, and the driver had assured us that this path was frequently used by people walking to the Cliffs. He drove off, and Lisa and I started down the alleged footpath.

About halfway across the field, we started laughing. This certainly was not how either of us imagined getting to the Cliffs of Dover! Eventually, we made it through the field and to a gate that led onto what we both had thought the footpath would be like. A few moments later, we reached the lighthouse and got our first up-close view of the English Channel.

It was certainly the perfect morning for a walk along the Cliffs. The sky was still blue and sunny, and the temperature was just right for a nice, easy walk. We took several photos of the lighthouse before moving along to the grassy path. We found some cows enjoying their breakfast, staying a respectful distance away.

Eventually, the grassy path led us to the official walking path. The walking path along the Cliffs is made of smooth, white stones. I was thankful to see the path as it meant that we were indeed on the right track back to the visitor centre.

After spending the previous day in the hustle and bustle of London, Lisa and I were both thankful for a nice, relaxing morning stroll out in nature. The views were breathtaking, and we stopped several times to take pictures. At one point, Lisa spotted a grassy path that led away from the official one. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s go this way.”

I looked ahead and didn’t see where the path would lead. “Lisa, are you sure? It doesn’t look like there’s a path.”

“I see some steps in the distance,” Lisa reassured me. I looked ahead and saw the steps, not feeling reassured.

“I don’t think so. I think we should stick to the path,” I called after her. She was already making her way to the route she had seen.

“Come on,” she encouraged me. “It’ll be fine!”

I gave in and followed her, still very uncertain about this path we were treading.

We made our way down a steep descent where the Cliffs make what I can only describe as a small valley. When we got to the bottom, I turned around to see the path we had just descended from. I was shocked at how steep it looked from where we were standing, and I took a picture for future reference.

Lisa led the way to the steps she had seen before we climbed down this side of the cliffs. Dear listener, they were not steps. It was more like a goat path up the other side. Once again, Lisa led the way. This was no easy way up. We had to climb up the side, using our hands to help steady us and pull ourselves up the path.

Unfortunately, I was not wearing the right kind of shoes for this excursion. They were a new pair of waterproof walking shoes I had purchased for the trip. While the shoes were indeed waterproof, I had discovered that they did not have good traction. I had slipped a little on wet pavement from the previous few days of rain and had learned that I needed to be careful when walking on wet pavement.

As we were beginning to climb up, my feet slipped a little on the path–a term I am using loosely. At that point, my overactive imagination kicked in, and I imagined myself losing my foothold and tumbling to my demise in the waters of the English Channel.

About halfway up the side, there was a landing area where Lisa and I took a short break. I was obviously not thrilled with the situation she had led me into, and I was starting to get hot from the unexpected exercise. Lisa asked if I was okay, and I said no. But at this point, I knew that I had no choice but to move forward. Climbing was the only way to make it back to the top. I took off my jacket and tied it around my waist.

This was a bit of a mistake. Having my jacket around my waist changed my center of gravity. Now, I felt weighed down by my jacket and my purse. Once more, I felt my feet slip, and I paused for a moment in terror. My overactive imagination again sent me down the side of the Cliffs. This is it, I thought to myself. I’m going to die here at the Cliffs of Dover. I knew that the English Channel had a reputation for being dangerous, and I was certain that I was going to fall and plunge into its chilly waters.

It was at this moment that I felt my breathing accelerate far beyond what would be normal for the type of exercise I was doing. My heart started racing, and I felt tears begin to prick at my eyes. I looked up. Lisa had reached the top, and I was close. Yet the distance felt impossible to cover. I was having a panic attack on the side of a cliff near a dangerous body of water.

I had only one option. I had to give myself a little pep talk and get to the top. I certainly didn’t want the embarrassment of a rescue team of some sort to get me back to the top, and in reality, I didn’t have that much farther to climb. I could make it. I had to. I was almost there.

I somehow talked myself out of my frozen state and began to move again. Lisa was waiting for me at the top. I was still breathing quickly and was barely able to get out the words that I was experiencing a panic attack. She insisted that we sit down for a moment, taking in the view of the Channel as I took several deep breaths. While I don’t remember what she said, Lisa sat with me, speaking words of encouragement and comfort. Once my breathing was under control, I turned to her and said, “One day, I’ll be able to laugh at this. But today is not that day.” She smiled at me and was likely suppressing a laugh at my words.

We enjoyed the view for a few more moments before standing up and making our way back to the nice, easy, relaxing path that we had abandoned for our little adventure.

That hike was not at all what I had envisioned for our morning at the Cliffs of Dover. I had in mind a nice, relaxing walk where Lisa and I could enjoy some fresh air and take some stunning pictures. We certainly had an unexpected adventure there. To commemorate my surviving the cliffs, I bought a bookmark at the Visitor Centre. When I read, it reminds me that I can overcome challenges, even while having a panic attack. And I’m reminded that I’m not alone. While my friend may have led me into that situation, she also stayed by me, helped me to regain my sense of calm, and celebrated my success. Granted, that might be the last time I ever follow her off a trail.

And yes, I can now laugh at the memory of the panic attack on the side of the Cliffs of Dover.

That’s it for this episode of Pilgrim’s Postcards. Check out the link in the show notes to a photo gallery of our experiences at the Cliffs of Dover. Next time, we’ll make our way to the famous pilgrimage site of Canterbury Cathedral. Thanks for listening.

Credits

Music: A Million Faces (instrumental)Produced by Sascha EndeLink: https://ende.app/en/song/372-a-million-faces-instrumental