Episode 2: Eager to Settle | The Cost of Comfort with Lillie Mae

Fire Ash: What's up, everybody? Welcome to Millionaire Mindset X. I am so happy to have you again for another episode. This is episode two. And on this show, This is more than just a podcast. This is actually a journey where I am walking to see what it looks like to live a life of abundance. Jesus told us that he came to give us life and life more abundantly. And so I am on this journey where I am interviewing so many different people across world, to be able to learn from their minds, but not just learn by myself, but I'm inviting you to learn with me. ⁓ In this show, believe in multiply conversations where it starts with one, one person, ⁓ it reaches many, it has to. opportunity to impact millions. So on today, I have my lovely guest, Miss Lily May. I am so honored to have her with me on today. And just so you guys can know a little bit more about Lily May, Lily May is an award-winning PR strategist and international speaker. Shout out to her, first of all, for that. has helped. Entrepreneurs and professionals increased their visibility, credibility, and revenue in competitive markets over 13 years. As the founder of Glambitious Empowerment Brand, she has empowered thousands to position themselves as go-to experts through live events, experiences, strategic coaching, courses, publishing, consulting. This woman does it all. ⁓ has curated platforms featuring influential such as Grammy Award-winning artist, Kandi Burris. Crissette Michelle, an actress Jasmine Burke alongside other accomplished leaders and the cultural influencers. So Lily Mae, you are such a well-accomplished woman, and I would love for you to tell us just even a little bit more about your background.
Lillie Mae: Sure, sure. So I'm actually originally from Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and I went to UNC Chapel Hill for school. And then once I graduated, I moved to Atlanta, and that's where my professional journey started to really thrive. And so I was in Atlanta for 14 years. And during that time, I launched a magazine platform. I also launched a PR agency. I attended like the MTV VMAs, the BET Awards. I've worked with, you know, some celebrities and businesses
Fire Ash: Mm.
Lillie Mae: owners of all facets to just help them ⁓ advance their efforts. And then eventually I started the Glamishous brand specifically to empower women entrepreneurs. And here we are.
Fire Ash: So when you went to school, did you actually get a degree in PR? Was that your focus in school?
Lillie Mae: So I majored in communication studies. And while I was in college, I had internships at Atlantic Records in their PR marketing department. I had an internship at Universal Motown Records in New York in their publicity department. And then I had an internship with Ogilvy Public Relations, which was like the number two PR agency in the country at the time. So I had a lot of college experiences that made me like, yeah, I definitely want to do this when I grow up, when I graduate.
Fire Ash: Mmm. Wow. Wait, so when you were younger, was that something you thought you wanted to do or did you just evolve into this?
Lillie Mae: Yeah, I definitely evolved into it. When I was younger, I really thought I wanted to be a lawyer. always, yeah, I used to, what do you want to be when you grow up? A lawyer. I always wanted to make a lot of money. And I always, you know, got in trouble for talking and lawyers have to do lot of talking. So I said, okay, you know, I think I could do that. But once I got to school, you know, it just, I don't know, it just kind of didn't seem like something I really wanted to pursue. Actually, I'll tell you, I went to Wake Forest,
Fire Ash: Me too! A lawyer! Say. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: They had something where college kids could come and experience ⁓ what it's like to be a law student. And when I went there, it was so boring. And the law students were like, ⁓ this is so hard. I'm like, ⁓ no. That doesn't sound fun. Let's try something a little more fun.
Fire Ash: Mm-hmm. You know what's funny? Because I wanted to be a lawyer too growing up. I just knew that was my thing, especially because I like arguing a little bit. Not in a toxic way. I just love justice. know, debating. I like debating. And so I thought that that's what I wanted to be. And then I think when I got to college, I started thinking like, OK, maybe I want to do something in the health field. And then I started taking those chemistry classes. And I said, absolutely not. I don't like this at all. This is, like you said, boring.
Lillie Mae: Or the baby, you like the baby? Same.
Fire Ash: And my grades were not reflecting my genius. And so one day, this guy, I'll never forget this guy, came to our campus and he was speaking. And I was like, I could do that. Like, I could kill that. I'm not saying I could do it better than him, but I just realized like, I can do this. And so I went to my guidance counselor or college counselor and I told her, was like, I want to be a motivational speaker. What degree do I have to get to be a motivational speaker? And she was like, well, I don't know.
Lillie Mae: Mm-hmm. and then. Mm-hmm.
Fire Ash: if we have a degree for motivational speaking, but I can get you somewhere close. And so I ended up getting my degree in communications, advertising, and public relations. And I was like, OK. But what I love that you, from what I've just heard, is that literally God was cultivating you into this position to where it was very clear and obvious, like, no, this is what I want you to do. That's amazing.
Lillie Mae: Right. Mm-hmm, exactly.
Fire Ash: So when you were in college, how did these opportunities even come about?
Lillie Mae: Yeah, so it's so funny because now looking back, we used to have a physical newspaper, like a physical college newspaper. It was called the Daily Tar Heel. And they would list on the back page internships that you can apply for. And so for Atlantic Records, that's how I found out about that one. For Ogilvy Public Relations, that's how, so I would just apply. But the one in New York, my professor was like, what are you doing this summer? And I was like, I don't know. And she was like, you know, I have a friend that works for Universal Motown Records.
Fire Ash: Mm-hmm. Mm. Mm. Wow. Wow.
Lillie Mae: I can get you an internship there if you can go live in New York for the summer. I'm like, heck yeah. So that was just, you know, she just ushered me into that opportunity.
Fire Ash: Wow. That's what favor looks like guys. Favor just favor right into the position. Cause I was going to ask you, my next question was going to be like, was it tough to get into those programs?
Lillie Mae: Okay, because it's not fair. And no, it wasn't like when I applied for the other two internships, I just got it. And then like I said, with my professor, she ushered me straight into that internship and it was like the best summer ever to live in New York at 21.
Fire Ash: So then you said that you had created a magazine. Walk me through this journey. Because when I read your bio, I was like, this woman is amazing, God. She's done so many incredible things. So take me from you've graduated college. How did you get into doing your own magazine?
Lillie Mae: ⁓ thank you. ⁓ Great question. So my very first job in Atlanta was the marketing director for hip hop magazine. And it was a celebrity hip hop magazine. So we had like Young Teezy on the cover. We had Big Boy on one cover. I want to say we had Lil Wayne on the cover. So, you know, it was a really popping magazine to be brand new and I was the marketing person for it. So I would like really get the visibility, you know, help put the bits together, all the things. But then I got laid off and the magazine kind of disappeared because some things happened to where.
Fire Ash: Mmm. Wow. Yeah, wow. Wow. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: the magazine didn't work out and I got laid off. So when I got laid off, I was like, well, maybe I could start a magazine. So it was kind of an inspiration. But when I started my magazine, it was for independent talent, not celebrities. So I would feature local rock singers, local hip hop, you know, local talent in Atlanta. And from doing that, people started inviting me to celebrity events to put it in my magazine. And so I think my first celebrity event was probably with like Neo.
Fire Ash: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Wow. Wow.
Lillie Mae: reached out like, hey, we would love for you to come cover this. And I'm like, ⁓ heck yeah. And so then I started covering celebrity events in Atlanta. And then one day I was watching the MTV VMAs and I was like, ooh, I would love to go to the VMAs. And I had a friend that worked for MTV and she connected me to the publicist I applied and they allowed me to cover the red carpet there. And so yeah, that's how I got into having a magazine.
Fire Ash: Mm-hmm. Wow. It just seems like your journey. First of all, I'm wowed by your journey. The fact that you were able to, you know, even work with celebrities, but then get put on with your own magazine. Like, I don't know, I'm a little mind blown, but I feel like that is how God works. Like every part of our journey, when we're his children, he's literally carrying us and ushering us into places and positions. And most times for me, I would say it's places that I would mentally
Lillie Mae: Aw.
Fire Ash: in my own flesh would think I'm unqualified to be here. But I think, I thank God that what I might unqualify myself for, he, he approved me to be in those spaces and in those places. And so here you said, I'm just like, wow. So how was it working with those celebrities?
Lillie Mae: for it. So it was always very exciting. ⁓ mean, you I would get to interview celebrities that I grew up watching and things like that. But one thing I want to mention, when you're talking about the journey, ⁓ one thing I didn't, or I kind of left out, or maybe didn't spend enough time on is the closed doors that led to the open door. So let's talk about it.
Fire Ash: Mmm. Mm-hmm. Come on, please talk about that. I got the chills, come on Lily.
Lillie Mae: So when I graduated in communication studies, in my head, I thought I wanted to work for a PR agency. So I was applying for jobs in North Carolina, right, when I graduated, going for interviews, getting rejected, going for interviews, getting rejected, going for interviews, getting rejected. And I literally was a waitress, okay? After I graduated from college, I was a waitress trying to get a job in my field and would never be able to get the job. And I remember one time, because I was a waitress in my hometown, and I had to wait on a family.
Fire Ash: Mm-hmm. Mm. Yeah. ⁓ wow. Mm-hmm.
Lillie Mae: and one of the people at the table I went to high school with. And so I was known to be like the smart, a smart, you know, girl in high school. And he's looking at me like, why are you waiting tables? Didn't you go to UNC Chapel Hill? He was like, did you? And I'm like, yeah. And I felt like humiliated, like what is going on? ⁓ Lord, like I'm from the Chapel Hill and I'm waiting on this table. And they're like, what is going on with you? And that was just a part of the journey because when I decided to move to Atlanta, I was able to transfer as a waitress to another restaurant in that chain, right?
Fire Ash: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: Exactly, so I could have a job when I moved. then, so that was just an example of how many closed doors I had to face when I kept getting rejected for these jobs. And sometimes these doors have to close so that the door that God wants you to get to that's open, you get to that. And then let's talk about me getting laid off of magazine. I mean, you know.
Fire Ash: Reach!
Lillie Mae: When I met magazine that my first job in Atlanta, I just loved the work so much. I loved the people I worked with. The owner felt like almost like an uncle figure. Like we felt like family. And when I was laid off for that job, I cried because I loved that job. And I was, I just cried because it was my dream job. And little did I know that God wanted me to start my own thing that he wanted me to get into entrepreneurship. That was never something that Lilly planned to do. I never even thought about entrepreneurship.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Lillie Mae: but it was many closed doors that led to some of those exciting open doors.
Fire Ash: Yeah, I actually felt you because you just brought something back to my memory. When I was graduating college, I remember I was trying to apply for some marketing or communication related jobs. And one of them told me I was too qualified. And I was like, how? I'm just now graduating college. Like, huh? And then a lot of them, it just wasn't a fit. It wasn't working. And the job that I ended up getting, I felt like it was so. out of left field, but I knew it was God because my pastor at the time, he was the vice president at the organization and he had started saying like, hey, does Ashley want to apply? And I was like, absolutely not. Like I already have a job that I'm, I was going to be a counselor. I was like, I already have a job that I'm going to go do. I already have it lined up. Hear me when I say. Leaning on my own understanding. I was like, nah, I got something blah, blah, blah, blah. And so I'm going through this journey where I'm trying to work this job. It was like a summer program where you had to like go through a process and be trained before you could work with the students. So I'm going through this journey and my family is like, Ashley, like, I think you should try this job out. And I'm like, nah, like I already got something set up. Pride. I already got something set up. I already got something set up. So I ended up, There was a moment where I felt the Holy Spirit telling me like, do it. Stop fighting. Like, stop fighting against what I'm trying to do. So I apply. And when I was reading the description, I was like, this sounds interesting. Like, it's not communication, but like, it was government contracting. And I was like, it sounds interesting. And in the description, it said, like, no day is the same. And I like that, because I genuinely don't like doing the same Monday things. So I apply. I get an interview. And within that interview, I'm feel like if interviewing was a sport.
Lillie Mae: same.
Fire Ash: Look, if I would be a champion, I would be an Olympic champion at interviewing. So I got the interview, I did great, and then they asked me to do a homework assignment for the second interview. So I feel like the Holy Spirit just gave me so much juice, so much sauce. So I did this very smart way of preparing for the interview. I'm calling other centers, acting like I'm a client, getting information from them. So when I go to the room now, I know how to talk the talk.
Lillie Mae: for sure.
Fire Ash: Anyway, I get this job and I knew it was God because God kept telling me like, it's yours, it's yours. And I remember telling them, like, I may not be qualified. I know there are other people more qualified than me. said, but if you hire me, I won't, you won't regret it. I will not disappoint you. Long story short, I was there for eight years and what I thought was not God. was God and it was him positioning me for the time I'm living in now. Like when I say he gave me so many opportunities, he gave me so much training in that one job and I almost blew it. I almost blew the blessing. And so I felt you when you said like the closed doors, because I did experience some closed doors and I also experienced where I was getting in God's way when he was trying to do something for me. Now, when I look back at it, number one, my My eight years of having a corporate job, my experience from people that I've known like around me growing up, my experience was totally different. I had this job that was flying me out to different places. Almost every month I had a great salary. I had all of these things and I was like, wow, God, like you really did your big one with that one.
Lillie Mae: And you touched on something when you said your journey was different. I always felt that way, that my journey was always so different from everybody else's. Because when all of my friends were going to graduate school, I was pursuing entrepreneurship. When all of my friends were getting married, I was working on my business and planning their baby showers. When they were having kids, I was not. So it's like everybody went on this journey, and my journey was so different. there's such a, I guess, a divine anointing in ex-
Fire Ash: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mmm. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: accepting that, accepting what your anointing is, what God has graced your journey for. And that's something I still, honestly, transparently, I still kind of contend with finding peace that my journey is just designed to be different than everybody else's. And there's an anointing and grace on that.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. Yes. You know what? I'm glad you said that. first of all, I just like talking to you so much because the piggyback is so great. I'm glad that you said that because I feel like within the last few years, that's something I've been getting comfortable in as well. Because I remember a few years ago, God had told me, I'm going to get the glory out of your story. And so the way that you see other people, you know, experiencing the desires that you have is OK. but you have to do it my way. Like, if I'm being honest, like some of my best friends from high school are married with kids and, you know, living great lives. And I'm like, dang, like I've been focused on businesses all the time. I want a family, I want kids. But I also felt like what you said, understanding the anointing that we have and it looks different for everybody. And God told me, like literally. Ashley, I need you to do it my way so people can see the glory of the Lord that is upon you. So people can see about how good I am by just watching your life as it goes on. So thank you for saying that. needed that.
Lillie Mae: Of course.
Fire Ash: So one of the questions that I have, when we were talking in the first conversation, at the end of the conversation, I remember we said, eager to settle. And I felt like that was such a powerful moment where we both kind of came to this realization, like, we gotta stop being eager to settle. And so ⁓ based off of that quote or phrase that we came up with, I want to know, what does that mean to you personally?
Lillie Mae: Yeah, when I think about eager to settle, I honestly think about trying to rush so far ahead of God that you're willing to take anything. Like you're willing to take the crumbs, you're willing to take the scraps because you want to get ahead of God so bad. You can't wait on what he has for you. You can't wait on the timing. So then whatever's in front of you, you know, that is what you glorify because you're so patient with, you know, where God is taking you. And I think you can apply that in many areas. You could apply that to relationships for sure. I'm a single woman.
Fire Ash: Good. Yes. Yes.
Lillie Mae: Unfortunately. Unfortunately. so, you know, anytime I've been dating and I'm like, you know, hopeful that someone might be it. And then I get that appointment and then later on I look back like, you know, if God had allowed that, I would have been, you know, shortchanged immensely. Like, I don't think that's what God has for one of his favorites. You know, and it's.
Fire Ash: You Mm-mm. Yeah. That part. Yes, for one of his favorites.
Lillie Mae: I mean, you know, like, why would he just, you know, give me those scrappings? because my flesh is so ready for marriage and ready to, you know, have partnership, it's just like, okay, whatever's in front of me, let's make this work. Let me ignore red flags. Let me ignore misalignments. Let me ignore that he's really not anchored spiritually, but he looks good. You know, let me ignore, you know, it's so many things. Right.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yes. Thank you. ⁓ thank you, God. And he says Christian in a bio.
Lillie Mae: Exactly, and picked up the Bible or scrolled the Bible app all year. But okay, you know, and I feel like eager to settle is just you want something so bad. You want the promise so bad, you're willing to accept the lesser than just because you can't wait for the promise.
Fire Ash: Yes! That made me think about how in the Old Testament, when the people were actually walking towards the promised land, they had said to, they said to God, or no, they said to Moses, said, take us back to the land flowing with milk and honey, romanticizing the place that God had delivered them from, forgetting that, yo, y'all was crying out to God. And that's why Moses even came about. And I love how, ⁓ you described that so perfectly. Looking for or settling for crumbs and scraps. And I felt like that was the revelation I came to this year. And I might've shared, I think I shared that in our initial conversation. I realized that in relationships, I was just settling from the crumbs. the, if it looked kind of good, like if it had potential, if it was just something that was, it seemed all right. I was like, okay, well maybe God has given this to me and I'm getting what I want. And unfortunately, like the last person that I was interested in, They literally said to me, like, you're gonna settle. Like, if you date me, you'll settle. And in my mind, I was like, no, but I feel like this makes it, we can do this. And then once I got some space from them, I was like, he was right.
Lillie Mae: Yes, space will do it. Once you get a little bit of space and then you look back, that's why they say hindsight is 20-20. And that's why it's important that we trust the sovereignty of God because our hindsight is 20-20, but his foresight is 20-20. So he knows what he has ahead for us. knows what he...
Fire Ash: That's good. Yes.
Lillie Mae: plan for us. And often the person that's in front of you, they don't have the anointing and grace for where you're going. So they might even be cool for today, but you know, I felt chills on that girl. All up here, all up through here. I felt chills on that. But where God is taking you, that person is not equipped to go. He's not equipped to cover you. Right? Like when we talk about dating.
Fire Ash: Thank you. Woo! Yes. I did too, yes. I'm gonna cry.
Lillie Mae: girl, listen, when we talk about dating, we need a man that can cover us. Like, it doesn't matter that he's six foot three, chocolate, but can he pray? When things get tough, can he cover me? Right? Can he anoint the doors with oil and, you know, like that's what we need in a partner as women carrying what we carry. Like what we carry is not an everyday, you know, purpose. It's not an everyday anointing. It's not an everyday grace. It's something very special. It's something very unique. And so I feel like who got
Fire Ash: Thank you. Yes. Yes. Yes, thank you, Lord. Yeah. Yes.
Lillie Mae: for us has to be anchored spiritually so that you can cover us and protect us in where God has taken us.
Fire Ash: Thank you. ⁓ We been honest tonight. Is that where we going? Cause cause let me get some freedom on tonight. Cause you just spoke to me. ⁓ my goodness. That was the realization I had to come to. I love how you said who they are right now and where you are right now. It might seem okay, but they can't cover where you're going. And when I think about it and I look just at like last year to now, I see how much God has done and I'm like, they wouldn't have.
Lillie Mae: We got to!
Fire Ash: They wouldn't have been able to pray for me, not in the way that I needed. Like they wouldn't. even the leadership, it wasn't there. I think I was trying to let a baby Christ lead me prayerfully. They're not watching my podcast. like it like just in transparency, I love how you said like he has foresight. He sees where we're going. He sees our entire story and he knows what's needed on that journey. ⁓ my goodness. We had a comment come in and says,
Lillie Mae: You
Fire Ash: Dear God, help me to not go back to the scraps when I am in the middle. Mm, that's good. Mm, that's so good. Whoo. So, whoo, I got to come back from that because you really spoke a whole word. So one of the questions that I want to ask, I just got diving deeper into the settling. And what areas have you personally settled?
Lillie Mae: Yeah, I feel like I've definitely settled when it came to dating. I feel like I've definitely settled as an entrepreneur. And what I mean by that is ⁓ sometimes we get comfortable in what we've always charged and who we've always served, and God is calling us to serve a new community. He's calling us
Fire Ash: Hmm. Mm. Mm. Yes.
Lillie Mae: calling us to increase our rates, okay? Calling us to have confidence in the value that we bring to the marketplace and to charge more and to reach out and communicate with people outside of our comfort zone. So I feel like that stretch is something that is always ongoing. We have to reminded, God is always calling us higher. He's never calling us horizontal. It's always higher. So there's gonna be a little discomfort when he says, hey, you've charged this, I need you to increase that rate. You've invested this.
Fire Ash: Yes. Mmm. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: need you to invest a little more. know, like, so in those ways, I feel like it's also important, you know, not to settle. We could talk about friendships, okay? Settling and friendships. And here's the thing, I don't say this from a place of someone being less than, but sometimes a friendship has, ⁓ this season has ended.
Fire Ash: Mmm. Yes, come on, talk to me. Right, right.
Lillie Mae: And so sometimes because this person has been our friend for the last 30 years, we want to carry them forever. And sometimes there is a divine disruption because even a friend can't go where you're going. so, you know, settling in friendship is, I remember one time I had a friend where I always was reaching out to her to check on her and she never called to check on me, you know?
Fire Ash: Yes! Yeah.
Lillie Mae: Never, and I'm like, and so I remember I called her again to check on her and then she asked me how my brother-in-law was doing. My brother-in-law had passed away and it was like, she don't even know, and so I was like, okay, I think this friendship season has ended here because I need someone who checks on me sometimes. So, I'm not even settling in our friendships simply because that person has always been around. We've always been friends and the, know, the buying timing of that friendship could have ended. So those are a couple of things I feel like.
Fire Ash: Mm-hmm. Wow. Yes. Yes. Yeah. That's so good. I had just had a conversation with my mom literally last week and I said, I said, mom, I have, I have a friend who I feel like they don't pour into me at all. I feel like I'm always pouring into them. I'm always checking on them. I'm always loving on them. And I said, mom, I'm just in a place where I want to pour in cups that are pouring into me. And, and I, and I think like, I really feel that the Holy Spirit has
Lillie Mae: We settle. Great.
Fire Ash: been breaking off that people pleaser because the people pleaser will stay out of loyalty. But something God has been doing is he's been allowing me the grace to shift and also to be okay with the shifting. and the way that you worded thing, the way that you word things are so beautiful. I might not eloquently, you know, re-say it the same way, but just even with that, with that dividing, you know, I love how you say even friends may not go with you and that is okay. It makes me think about
Lillie Mae: ⁓ thank you.
Fire Ash: when we were in high school. Yeah, we all graduated, but not everyone went to the same college. Even when we graduate college, yeah, we all graduated, but we might not have the same job. And I think we have to be OK with allowing our journey to be what it is as God sees it fit. And I think that sometimes when we're holding on, we're holding on and it's not allowing us to grab a hold of what is next. And so when you said that, once again, I feel like this is such a freeing conversation. When you said that, I thought about that friendship where I feel at peace with my decision even more. Like, you know, I love you, there's no bad blood, and I don't feel like friendships have to end in bad blood. It's just, we've all grown.
Lillie Mae: Yeah, and that's okay. Yep.
Fire Ash: So when you were talking about the business and settling in business, so I know that, like we said in the beginning, you're very well accomplished. You have all of these amazing experiences that you've been able to, obviously, experience on your journey. But I want to know, as of recently, even being the ambassador, the owner of Glam Bishes, have there been moments where you felt like you've settled, even being an accomplished person?
Lillie Mae: ⁓ for sure, for sure. You know, I feel like, because I am a bit of a creature of habit and growth requires innovation, creativity and things of that nature. So I feel like, you know, and I'm going through like even a rebrand as we speak, because the way that I've built my business, it was very, very multifaceted. But at this age, I feel like I'm being called to simplify it.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Mmm, yeah. Mm. Same, yeah.
Lillie Mae: Yeah, so, you know, just settling into the old habits of how I've always operated. And it's like, no, you can't operate that way if you want to scale your business, if you want to have peace and not be, you know, working 24 seven. And so I've had to, you know, break myself out of some of those old habits and embrace kind of the new structure that God is aligning for my business.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you also mentioned that sometimes we're being called to a new community. And a part of that community is also accepting that this community will understand the investment. One thing that I learned last year that I'm still learning is I had one client who I told them the invoice. Actually, I have three clients I can talk about. And I told them the invoice, and they said, OK. They said, I can't afford. not to work with you. I can't afford not to spend this money. And I realized that that's my village. They understand not only the investment, they understand that it's a necessity. And I had this moment earlier today, I was speaking to a potential new client, and she was telling me about her experiences that she had with other people in the videography space, in the photography space. And as I was listening, I'm like, wow, like people, did you like that? Like, that's crazy. And I ended up, after we got off the call, I started praising God, because I was like, wow, Lord, you've really set me apart. I see why people come to me. Because you told me to operate from a place of excellence. One of my models is executed excellence. ⁓ I love to do things from a top tier level. And even if I'm learning at something, it still has to feel like I'm learning at a top tier level. And so when you mentioned the community and how our community may be changing, can you speak to our viewers and just kind of identify like, what does that look like when God is calling you to a higher or different community?
Lillie Mae: Sure, sure. It looks like, you know, speaking in different, you know, communities outside of your own, you know, it might be your community isn't your your color, you know, I might call you to minister to other women who are not just black women. And so that's a way that he might be angry. You it could be outside of the states. I've had women in Australia, Egypt, Africa, London, be a part of my community. And so that could be a way that is outside
Fire Ash: That's good. That's good. Mmm.
Lillie Mae: of what you're currently doing. And so I think to expand your community and expand your reach, you have to be willing to get a little uncomfortable and start pitching yourself for opportunities outside of what's in front of you. yourself to speak on this platform. Pitch yourself for a podcast interview, you know. And I think that is how you begin to expand and connect with other eyes, other ears that God has called you to serve.
Fire Ash: Yes. And that's really the basis of how this podcast got started. I remember telling you, God told me, get on threads and let people know, like, what you're doing. And I was like, I almost didn't do it because I was like, nobody's going to respond to this. And then, ⁓ my goodness, they blew it out the park. So many people responded. But I love how you said to put yourself out there. And I remember on the summit that you held two weeks ago, I remember you saying, like, there was a moment in your life where You had wanted to, I think, go to an awards show. I think you had just mentioned it. You wanted to go somewhere, and you were like, I didn't know all the answers or any of these things, but I did it, and I did it scared. Can you repeat that moment?
Lillie Mae: yeah, sure, that was when I applied for the MTV VMAs. Back then I had an Atlanta based platform. My magazine was very local to Atlanta. I was not known nationally. Back then, I don't know if you remember, there was a magazine called Vibe Magazine. It was a huge deal. And so that's the type of tier of media that cover red carpet events. And I'm nowhere near Vibe. But.
Fire Ash: Mm-hmm. ⁓ huh. Yep. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: I pitched it anyway. And so sometimes I feel like we have to stop talking ourselves out of opportunities, just pitch it anyway and let God do his thing. Like let him cook, know, do your part. Do your part and then let God fill in the rest. And so I remember once I got to the MTV VMAs, ironically, I think I was positioned by Bob. I don't know if it was the VMAs. It might've been the BET Awards in LA. One of those red carpets, I remember being positioned right beside Bob magazine. And I was like, I see you there, guy. Yeah.
Fire Ash: That's good. Yeah. Let them cook! Wow. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: They put me right beside them. And it's like, hey, I'm here just like they're here, right? And that's, you know, where God's favor and anointing fills in the gaps. We just have to the confidence to pitch ourselves for opportunities to shoot our shot and be willing to show up when the time comes.
Fire Ash: Yes. Yes. Right. That makes me think about one of the questions I had that's so funny is, why do you think as humans we often view ourselves as grasshoppers? And I'm thinking about in numbers when the children of Israel, when they were told to go to the land and to spy it out, and when they came back, their report was, we're like grasshoppers to them. They're giants. And there were only two people who was like, man, if we want it, we could go take it right now. He with us. As long as the Lord is with us, we can go take it right now. And as I'm listening to you, that's what I felt that if the Lord is with me, if he's leading me, if he's already gone before me to make arrangements for me to be there, then I just have to trust in who I'm going with. And even with some of the opportunities, actually, let me rephrase it. With all the opportunities I have from the time I quit my job until now, it was literally on. I just heard, hear God tell me something. I do it, I don't question it. And I had a friend at one point in my life, when I quit the job, this friend was like super like logical. Like if it wasn't logical, it didn't make sense. And I remember saying like, God told me to quit my job. And they were like, absolutely not. That makes no sense to me. Why didn't you have another job ahead? I said, he told me he was gonna, you know, lead my steps when it comes to this business. So as I'm running the business, ⁓ This is how I know God is so good. I quit my job on a Friday. On a sat... No, on a Sunday, I go to this volunteer event. Now, on that Friday that I quit my job, I went to the same volunteer event, and we were out in the streets doing stuff, and the Holy Spirit told me, get your camera and take pictures. So I'm taking pictures of everything that's happening during the volunteer experience. So they were like, oh my goodness, you guys had a photographer? Send us the pictures. So I send the pictures off, When we get to the banquet on that Sunday evening, my pictures are being displayed on the big screen. So everybody's able to see some of the pictures that I've taken. So I remember I'm walking around the room, and God had literally said to me, do not stick with the people you know. I need you to start talking to people in this room. Now, majority of the people outside of the people I knew were not of my descent.
Lillie Mae: Uh-huh.
Fire Ash: And it was like, OK, I got to put myself out there. And I won't say, for most of my life, I've always been a person like, oh, I don't mind going to talk to people. But it was this kind of uncertainty as a business. I'm still newer to the market. So there was this uncertainty like, how can I go pitch myself when I really don't even know? I don't really have everything together. And so I ended up going, walking around the room, pitching myself to different people. And I love going back to what you said. The rejections. I got so many rejections. got so many nos and I was like, dang, like I don't, I really don't want to do this anymore. God. Like it's seeming like they don't even want my assistance or my services. So there was this one lady and God had told me to talk to her and I was like, Nope, cause I'm tired of these rejections. And so she walked past me twice and I was like, okay, if she walked past me again, God, I'm gonna talk to her. She walks past me again. I said, hey, can I just stop and talk to you for a second? I tell her literally, I like vomited. I quit my job. do social media. do, at this point, I'm not doing social media for anybody but myself. I do social media. I do videography, photography. I just want to know if you guys have events that you might need somebody to do work with. So long story short, let me fast forward. This was three days after I quit my job. This girl got me a meeting with her boss in maybe two weeks. I have a meeting with them. ⁓
Lillie Mae: Mm.
Fire Ash: ⁓ And then once again after the meeting they told me we don't really need your services right now blah blah fast forward This is all happening around August fast forward into December I get ⁓ a Email from their boss saying hey, we kept your information on file. I would love to keep the conversation going Let's get something scheduled in January. I say fine We had meetings from January So I think April and March, June, it was an expanded amount of meetings. But that has become one of my biggest contracts. But it all stemmed from just taking that step in the one moment after I quit my job. And I could go on and on, but I'm not. But there have been so many moments where I literally just say yes. I put myself out there.
Lillie Mae: Mm-hmm.
Fire Ash: And even I think that we have to remind the viewers that there will be rejection that comes from it, but the rejection is not rejecting you and your qualifications. It's just every yes is not the yes for you. Every yes is not a part of your assignment. Every no is not no telling you that you're not qualified to execute. It just might not be the door God wants you to walk through. I think sometimes we look at the doors in such a small perspective that If he said, if God said no, then maybe I'm not supposed to do this. No. What if God needs you to say yes to a different door, but you might be distracted because you're saying yes to the wrong one.
Lillie Mae: For sure, yeah. Rejection is literally just redirection. If you look at it like that, we won't even feel any kind of way about it. We won't let it affect our confidence because it's literally redirecting us to where God wants us to be. And so whether it's in dating, whether it's in business, any time a door closed, any times there's rejection, if we could just reframe it like, ⁓ it's not a rejection of who I am and my value. It's redirecting me to where God wants me to be. It'll give us more peace with rejection.
Fire Ash: So good. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes, yes, that's good. That's so good. So we had a comment come in, and I'm going to actually evolve it into a question. It said, I tried to turn my assignments into friendships. Big no-no. Have you ever tried to turn an assignment into a friendship?
Lillie Mae: sure of it. Yeah, you know, it's funny because a lot of times in my dating, I felt like those were actually assignments and I'm like, ⁓ you brought him because he's but you really want me to pray over this man. So he didn't let him go.
Fire Ash: You Me too! That part.
Lillie Mae: Yeah, I think there's definitely been moments where God has brought me into a person's life for a reason or a season and it was more of a ministry based thing. It wasn't meant, you know, to be a forever thing. So I definitely think that happens. But one thing you touched on that I wrote down because I didn't want to forget it was you were saying that you were talking to someone that was very logical and so they weren't really understanding what you were doing. And I think it's important that we be reminded that the old people used to say God works in mysterious ways because his
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lillie Mae: ways are not our ways. So his ways are never going to be logical to us. It's always not going to make sense. It's always going to make you scratch your head, but you just have to continue to give that yes. And the enemy, his greatest weapon against us is our own thoughts. Like,
Fire Ash: That's good. Right. Literally.
Lillie Mae: Yeah, so he comes into our mind and honestly the enemy will use reality, you know, he'll use logic. Okay, he'll use logic like is, you know, to make us doubt something, to make us feel worried that something's not going to happen, to make us not have confidence in who we are. It's really our own thoughts and if we're not careful, we'll start to speak with the enemy that's trying to sew in our hand and go against what God has for us and what against who he called us to be. So it's very important that we be very careful in our thoughts and especially our words and know
Fire Ash: That's so good, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so good.
Lillie Mae: that just because it looks crazy, just because it doesn't make sense, doesn't mean it's not God.
Fire Ash: Right. I mean, you know, everything you're saying literally matches up with scripture and examples that we have. Like Jesus died and that does not make sense to my human mind. Like he had to die for us to be saved. But when you think about it, literally it didn't look right. It probably not even probably it didn't feel good. It was uncomfortable, I imagine. And yet God had a plan that if we were to lean on our own understanding, we would have missed. ⁓ it made me think about Peter. There we go. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Made me think about Peter. Peter was misunderstanding and misinterpreting what God was doing. Jesus was letting him know this has to be done. It has to be done. And so I thank God that he reminds us in his word that we can't lean on to our understanding. We have to acknowledge him in all of our ways. We have to trust him in everything, especially who especially Jesus in relationships, because you know, Lord, want to.
Lillie Mae: You know it's hot out here for...
Fire Ash: Okay, look, look, Lord, you know, I'm waiting, but look, sir.
Lillie Mae: It's hard out here.
Fire Ash: So as us being single women, another thing I was just wondering from your perspective is ⁓ what is some encouragement that you would give someone that is similar to us in that waiting period, doing business, but also having this desire for marriage and family and all of that?
Lillie Mae: Yeah, think, so one piece of advice would be to not over romanticize marriage and not make an idol out of marriage. Because when you don't have something, it's so easy to romanticize the good parts. But I have many married colleagues and I get to hear the other side of it. And so I'm always reminding myself like, don't over romanticize the problem.
Fire Ash: Ooh, that's good. Yes. That's good.
Lillie Mae: you know, like, because right now you're living out a promise. So if anything, I encourage people to romanticize where they are right now, like find the goodness in that, right? So for me, for example, I was like, you know what? Yes, I'm single and I'm a woman of age, but I do enjoy the peace in my household. I do enjoy that I can have a messy day. I can leave the dishes in the sink. I can get to it when I get to it. I do enjoy that I'm not required to cook three meals a day, that if I want to have pancakes for dinner, I could have it. If I want to share my
Fire Ash: That's so good. Same. Thank you.
Lillie Mae: couch and watch reality s of a football game. I ca to maximize where I am doing things of purpose, like you know, you know, that God has called me time with that, you bring me joy, focusing o you going to therapy? you when you think about it, whe
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So much. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: There's plenty to fill up a day. If you're taking care of your kid, if you're going to him, if you're making a therapist appointment, you know, if you're working in your business, if you're in that Bible, there's plenty to fill up your day. So my encouragement is to really enjoy this season because the next season will come in its divine time and it'll have its own challenges. But when you look back at this time, you'll be like, man, that was a sweet time too. So enjoy the sweetness while you have it and don't over romanticize marriage and partnership.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Right. Yeah. Mm. Yes. One of the episodes I have coming up is on this topic about enjoying singleness. I recently told a few of my people in my circle, like, I'm really enjoying being single. There was a time in my life just a few years ago where I used to feel like this was punishment. And I remember recently I made a video saying, God showed me like this is not punishment. This is preservation. He's preserving you. And it's so funny because I had a dream, a dream that led me to this whole thought. I had a dream and I was walking down the street and there was a man and he was crying, he was sad. And God told me, he said, go prophesy to him and go tell him that I am not punishing him. I'm preserving him. And he told me to give him this metaphor. He said, tell him he's like a diamond. Not everybody can have access to you. Not everybody can afford you. And I'm waiting for that person who would really put in the work to be able to take care of the jewel that you are. And so just having that dream, I woke up and I was like, ⁓ you talking to the messenger, huh? Because I needed that. Like, this is not punishment. I love how you said enjoy. I think one of my old bad habits was I had this ⁓ mindset of just trying to rush everything. I love to rush the process. I barely trust the process. And so I wouldn't be still. wouldn't like when it came to relationships, I wouldn't ask God like too long of what do you think? I would be like, hey, God, what you think? All right, cool. Wouldn't process what he said or nothing. Wouldn't sit before him. I would just be like, yeah, got the green light, cool. Even if you didn't say anything, got the green light. Now I'm going through these situations where I could have avoided it. And one of the things that just irritates my soul is I have had so many situations where God told me no in the beginning. I go through this journey, so much time spent, and I get back to the same answer he already told me, no.
Lillie Mae: Yep.
Fire Ash: So now I'm like, look, Lord, I get it. When you say no, it's a no. I'm going to trust the no and move with that. ⁓ One thing I do want to talk about a little bit more, especially in this topic is discernment. I think that one of the greatest skills we can have is discernment and not quenching the spirit when God gives us the discernment. in your, ⁓ just in your experience, how has discernment helped you out?
Lillie Mae: Yeah, so it's kind of similar to what you said. I discern very early, but then for some reason I hang around. I hang around until it's like, you know, like it's, you know, and I think as women, we have to trust the sermon without proof. Like you hang around waiting for the proof, but if it doesn't feel right, trust that you're carrying the Holy Spirit in you. So that feeling, you can trust it without proof. You don't have to.
Fire Ash: that part. Yeah. Right, thank you. Yeah. Yes, yeah. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: around and wait for this man to prove something that you're already feeling. And that's assuming that you're healed, you're whole, you've been to therapy, you know, you're not bitter, you know, because there's another side where you can have a negative perspective on everything. So I want to be clear. I'm not saying, you know, if you haven't healed, if you haven't been to therapy, if you haven't asked God to, you know, deliver you from soul ties, it's just all the things that we're supposed to do to correct what's on the inside.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right, right, that's good. Right.
Lillie Mae: that you have to do that. And once you get to that place, just trust your discernment. It doesn't matter if you have great conversation. It doesn't matter if there's a great chemistry and connection. Because when I was younger, I always confused chemistry to mean something. just means we're attracted to each other. You know, we're attracted.
Fire Ash: Yeah. That's good. Right, right. That's good. Exactly. I can be attracted to a lot of people.
Lillie Mae: Correct. That does not mean that that is the man for you. It just means, like you said, we're attracted to people. That's a normal human experience. So don't confuse chemistry to me anything more than we're attracted to each other. So yeah, I definitely now try to use my discernment and not wait around for proof.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah, because that was my downfall. It was like I wanted God to... I wanted some kind of proof. I can't even say God. Because there were several situations like I'm a dreamer and I'll get dreams about stuff. And the unfortunate part is it was like I was trying to wait for proof to come to deny the dream. But then once the dreams started becoming kind of unmatched and it was like really on point showing me stuff, I started realizing like either I can keep falling into this trap. or I can just listen the first time. And that's been one of my mottos that I've been trying to embody is, how do I just listen the first time? And I think another part of discernment as we navigate through business, like discernment in business is very important as well. There was a time last year where I was almost eager to settle. There was a person who wanted to do business with me, and they had this big project that they said they were working on. It was Christian related. Let me say it was Christian. In their opinion, it was Christian. So, you know, in my mind, I'm like, well, if it's Christian and they need my skill set, okay, well, it makes sense. And I remember God gave me three back to back dreams with them three different nights and each one, God kept, it was like a strong warning. And he was like letting me know, like, do not do it, say no. Once again, at this point, I'm still a people pleaser. So I'm like, well, I'm just going to stay involved just because I said I was going to, I gave my word out. My word means everything to me. And I remember, um, for me, God is very like, he's very clear in his signals. He will use like actual life reality moments to teach me a lesson if I'm not getting it in my dream. So I had these dreams, right. And then fast forward. The last day that I had the dream, going, I was babysitted and I'm going down the street, I'm driving the kids that I'm watching and they had asked me like, hey, can we go get smoothies? And I was like, no, we got smoothies at the crib. I can make you some, blah, blah. So they convinced me to go against my first mind. My mind was like, you supposed to go home and make these smoothies. So I listened to the kids, I'm going, I'm driving and something in me, Holy Spirit, was telling me, don't go that way. Guess what I do?
Lillie Mae: you
Fire Ash: I go that way and I get pulled over. And God, I remember so clearly the Holy Spirit said, there is a cost to not listening the first time. He said, not listening is still disobedience and there will be a price you have to pay every time you don't listen to me. And it's so funny because after that happened, I was like, okay, I started sending text messages. I'm sorry, I can't be a part of this. I'm sorry, I can't do this because I knew he was telling me like, Ashley, if you don't listen to me, there's going to be a price every single time.
Lillie Mae: So.
Fire Ash: So I ended up telling the people like, okay, I can't be a part of this project. And the most amazing thing happened. I had a dream about somebody I was supposed to work with. And I had been having dreams about this person too. Somebody I'm actually supposed to work with. Started working with them. And then God started literally making ways for the contracts that I'm walking in now, like the contracts that I had. He started opening the doors. Before this, nothing was happening. I was like, why is it so dry? And I realized that if I would have said yes to that project, it would have, number one, drained me. Number two, it would have wasted a lot of time, and I wouldn't have been able to execute on what God was sending. And so ⁓ I think that discernment is very important in business and also understanding that every project, every client is not your own client. That's why we have to pray. Prayer is a mandate, it's necessary, because if you don't, you could be saying yes to the things that you're not supposed to be stewarding. So in your opinion, when it comes to business, ⁓ even working with clients, like how has Discernment either helped you or what areas have you learned to begin using Discernment in business?
Lillie Mae: ⁓ yeah, just like what you said, know, every client is not the client for me. And so I definitely don't wait for proof anymore. If I have a discovery call and I feel like for whatever reason, something's off, I will not accept it. If I have a client that's being extremely difficult, I will give you your money back. I am the queen of here you go. Don't even worry about it. Okay.
Fire Ash: Mmm. Yeah. Here you go.
Lillie Mae: So, you know, ⁓ now I don't wait for proof. You know, I just trust, I try my best to trust my discernment. If it feels off, if it feels weird, I just trust it and don't proceed. Even if it's an opportunity that's presented, you know, if it doesn't, if something is like, ⁓ working with this person is going to be challenging. You know, people want to collaborate with me all of the time, which is a blessing, but I have to be discerning. Is that collaboration going to turn into a headache? Is it a lie with my faith? You know, I'm a woman of faith, so I can't collaborate with everything. I remember recently, ⁓
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yes. ⁓ Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good, that's so good.
Lillie Mae: helping me sponsorships was like, know, hey, this liquor company is looking for, you know, events to sponsor. And I'm like, I sure would love that check for the event, but that doesn't make sense for my brand to be represented by a liquor company. You know what mean? Like, that would cover so many expenses, but I have to trust that God is going to provide from another resource that is aligned. So, yeah.
Fire Ash: Hahaha! Yeah. Same. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. No, I felt that. There have been similar opportunities on my end, especially as a videographer. Like, there have been people who wanted to, like, do music videos. And one of the things that I had to, like, start doing is saying, hey, I only do Christian music videos. And it's nothing personal, but it's just I realized when I'm editing a video, I'm listening to it over and over again. And for me, songs get stuck in my head within two seconds. It don't take a repeat. And I have to realize that these songs are speaking something to my spirit, and they might not be building me up. Majority of the time, they're not. And so I had to even draw that boundary. Because at first, once again, that people pleaser is like, no, I help everybody. But I had to learn to draw that boundary and understand that there are certain lines I just can't cross. Someone said in the chat, They said, this is so helpful. This is a blessing to me in so many ways.
Lillie Mae: I love it.
Fire Ash: So ⁓ as we're wrapping up, I do have two more questions I want to ask. So knowing what you know now, what is some advice that you would give to your younger self about settling?
Lillie Mae: Ooh, man, that is a great, great question. My younger self. I think, ⁓ if anything, when I think about my younger self, my younger self was very, ⁓ very inexperienced, very.
Fire Ash: Mmm.
Lillie Mae: optimistic in the way of seeing the best in everything or seeing the potential in everyone and just wanting to give everyone a chance, like a little bit of a flower child is just, you ⁓
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, same. Mm-hmm.
Lillie Mae: Proligate to the sunflower field not realizing, you know, that there's a real world out here and that, you know, everyone doesn't deserve your energy. Everyone doesn't your gift. Everyone doesn't deserve your time or your presence and things like that. So if anything, I think I would tell my younger self to strengthen my relationship with God earlier so that, you know, I would be tapped into that discernment stronger. I think it took me a lot of experiences, a lot of disappointments to get to where I am. But if I had
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Mm. Yeah.
Lillie Mae: more so prioritize the relationship with God earlier. And here's the thing, I grew up in church, I was on the choir, I was on the pinbell choir, I was on the usher board. You know, I always went to church, but I didn't quite understand relationship. There's a difference. Going to church on Sunday is wonderful. Praying over your food is great. Praying before you go to sleep is great. But relationship is a next level. And I don't feel like I learned about relationship truly until like the pandemic, when the world was shut down. I began to learn like,
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Right. That's good. Mm-hmm.
Lillie Mae: relationship is just like I talked to my real mother and father, could talk to God. You I can ask him questions just like I'm talking to you now, like build relationship, spend time. And so I would have done that at an earlier age so that I could have more self-confidence, so that I could know my value and my worth. I have stronger discernment and maybe not have to face so many disappointments. And even, you know, like I've reframed rejection now as redirection. If I had that maturity spiritually back then, I wouldn't have taken so much to heart, you know, and made it
Fire Ash: Yes. Yes. Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So good.
Lillie Mae: about me instead of understanding, no, it's just redirection to where God is carrying you to. That was a long one to answer, y'all.
Fire Ash: That is so good. No, that was a great answer. That was a great answer. ⁓ I don't want you to take back anything you said. That was a great answer. I'm going be honest. I kind of wanted to add two more bonus questions just because that was such a great answer. I also want to extend to the audience that is listening in with us live. If you want to ask our guests any questions, now is the time to start submitting it in the comments as I ask two more questions on my end. I have a final question, but I do have two that came to mind.
Lillie Mae: You could.
Fire Ash: I do have people in my life, also for me, this question is for me, how did you begin getting comfortable with charging more? What was the mindset shift you had to go from to be able to start charging more?
Lillie Mae: Well, honestly, the mindset shift for me was just really reality. And reality is inflation is inflationing, okay?
Fire Ash: That's real. Right.
Lillie Mae: I went to get a small coffee for McDonald's. used to be 79 cents. Now it's a dollar and 83 cents. Okay. So if the world is charging more, the only way that I could build wealth, the only way that I could provide for my family, the only way that I could have impact is to charge more. So it was a very logical like, girl, you've been charging low, way too low for way too long. And you're really desiring to walk into the millions that God is calling you to. Logically speaking,
Fire Ash: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yes, yes. The ports.
Lillie Mae: you have to charge more and then you have to find the people who are willing to value that investment and then move forward in that way. honestly, I can't over-spiritualize it. It was just like, ⁓ everybody else is charging more. The only way that I'm going to thrive in this economy, the only way I'm going to build wealth is to start charging more and really understanding the value of what I bring to the marketplace.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So another question that I had, because we were talking about access, another question that I have is more so about access and boundaries. How does one person, they, speaking on somebody else's behalf and not mine, if they are a reform people pleaser, how do they get comfortable with implementing boundaries? You know what? I want to kind of say personally and professionally.
Lillie Mae: Yeah, that's a great question. And I feel like I'm a reform people pleaser as well. So ⁓ I think number one, we have to slow down in our responses to things because sometimes we say yes way too quick without measuring what is going to take us mentally, what is going to take us physically, our time, our interest, our peace, you know? So sometimes you just say yes too quick. So we need to be comfortable with giving space between committing to do something.
Fire Ash: Mm. Thank you. That's good. Yes. Yes. That's good. Yes.
Lillie Mae: So if your friend calls you and like, you hey, Ash, can you take me to the airport on Friday? Can I get back to you? So start making the habit of getting back to people and don't feel like urgency to give quick responses because I feel like we live in an urgent society where everything is urgent, urgent, urgent. And we have to slow down so that we can protect our peace and implement boundaries by getting back to people. Even if someone emails you, hey, this is going on. Thank you. Can I get back to you on the rate?
Fire Ash: Yes. Yes. Yes. Mm. Yes.
Lillie Mae: Don't send them the rate because it's like, they're interested, they're gonna pay tomorrow, let me send the rate right now. No, no, no, let me get back to them tomorrow so that I can really assess what it's gonna require of me and what the value truly is. So I think just even giving space to things is gonna allow you to better implement boundaries, better implement whatever rates you think you need to be charging versus those quick responses.
Fire Ash: That's so good. Yes. Yeah. Mm. That's so good. made me think about being slow to speak. And my mom, if she's listening, she would be so happy to hear you say that because one of the things she's been telling me over the years is, Ashley, you make decisions too fast out of impulse, and then you have to go back and be like, ⁓ I'm sorry I can't. Now, this year, I haven't been doing that. Last year, whew, I had to learn a hard lesson because we had this thing going on. One of my brothers at the church, he was doing something. And God had told me, I had told the man, yes, like, yes, I'll be a host and all of this stuff because it sounded good. And, know, I did it before and then God, I kept feeling this, ⁓ this uncertainty feeling like, okay, I, ⁓ I was feeling just like a weariness heaviness. was just, I didn't have any peace. And I remember telling my first lady like, Hey, ⁓ I keep, didn't feel like God told me to do this, but I'm doing it. And she called me out and she said, if he didn't tell you to do it, why are you doing it? And it was like something in my mind click like. so maybe I don't have to go through with it. So I ended up reaching out to my brother and I told him, like, hey, I'm sorry. God did not tell me I could do this. And I feel like I need to ⁓ I need to cancel. He said it was no problem. And the interesting thing is the day that it happened, actually got me on an assignment that I had to get done. And if I would have done the event, I wouldn't have had time to finish what I needed to finish. And. And so something my mom always tells me is if you have to be rushed into making a decision, then it's not for you. It just like, you know how sometimes you get those calls and they're trying to sell you into something. You got to make a decision right now. If you have to make a decision right now, maybe that's not right for you. And so something I've been doing lately, especially like at the birthing of this podcast, God had told me to be still. It was, I felt like I got a one-on-one be still one-on-one class from him. Like Ashley.
Lillie Mae: Thank is.
Fire Ash: Be still, I'm gonna give you the answers, but I need you to chill out because I was operating from a place of urgency and emergency and I was getting stressed out. I had a lot of anxiety and I used to ask God, please take the anxiety from me. Like, why do I feel so anxious and stressed out all the time? And he told me it's because you bein' Martha and I need you to be Mary. Sit still, little girl. That's how God talks to me. Sit still, little girl. And so now, like,
Lillie Mae: Mm-hmm. ⁓
Fire Ash: I'm realizing like everything is in an emergency. And when I, as you said, when I allow myself time to slow down, I can see things versus when I was moving so fast, I would miss so much because I'm moving so fast that I can't see what's happening in front of me. And so lately, I'm so happy to say this because I used to get, used to burn myself out a lot, but lately I've been like, I'm doing a lot of stuff, but I'm not burnt out because I'm prioritizing rest. I'm not. It's like I have this peace like, no, it's all gonna happen. I'll organize it in my schedule. It's gonna work out. And I've even become comfortable with, you know, having to take some time off for myself, even if I don't have something to do. It's okay to just relax and reset. And as I learn, I've been teaching it to my other people, like my best friends on here. And I've been telling her like, girl, if God need me to rest, you need to rest too, girl. So, yeah.
Lillie Mae: Mm-hmm. Yeah. We have to remember that great things are happening and God is doing it, not me.
Fire Ash: Right. Right. That's good.
Lillie Mae: I don't have, there's like a little bit of this hustle culture. And I was definitely a part of that, especially living in Atlanta where in Atlanta, everybody is a celebrity. Everybody is rich. there's such, even when I visit Atlanta now, I feel the old hustle culture like, ⁓ need to more. I need to be doing more. And we have to slow down and remember that these, you know, big things that God is calling us to, he's helping us do it. It doesn't require us to get burnt out. It doesn't require us hustle, hustle. You know, he can do a lot with our little.
Fire Ash: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's so good.
Lillie Mae: So I think it's very important that we pace ourselves because, you know, oftentimes we're trying to do it all in our own strength and forgetting that the God we serve.
Fire Ash: Yes.
Lillie Mae: has the entire universe in his hands. So I don't have to burn myself out for something to get accomplished. know, honestly, when I think about some of most amazing opportunities that God has blessed me with, it's been the most peaceful, easy, here you go. Like when God gives you some issues, like, you go. And I'm like, oh, like, oh, okay.
Fire Ash: Yes. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. It's so simple. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.
Lillie Mae: It's so simple. I didn't have to burn myself out and hustle and grind. You know, that's human nature. That's flesh, honestly. That's operating out of flesh. But when you can get a sense of balance and really a sense of peace and a sense of ease about things and know that God's strength is going to take care of the rest, then you don't have to be quick to speak. You don't have to feel like you're going to miss out on something. What do they call it? FOMO, fear of missing out? Yeah. I don't feel like, and I don't know if this is biblical or not. This is a Lilly thing. Let me just say that. I really don't feel like,
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yeah. That's good. You're right. Yeah, I had that.
Lillie Mae: can miss anything God has for me. I don't. I don't. And I don't have a fear of missing out anymore or a fear of the, what is it? Shoulda, coulda, woulda. It's like, man, I messed up this or I, no. If God wants me to have something, I'm gonna have it. If he's gonna give me something, I'm gonna get it. I don't have to, you know, have anxiety about those things. And that helps me deal with the anxieties of life. It's just knowing that.
Fire Ash: That's so good. Yes. Mmm.
Lillie Mae: If God wants me to have it, I'm gonna have it. I don't have to, you know, work myself to the bone.
Fire Ash: That's so good. wish my younger self would have heard you say that. ⁓
Lillie Mae: Exactly, I wish my younger self what? Girl, I am a reformed hustle hustle hustle party fan, so yeah
Fire Ash: Man, and even in hustle culture, I realized it was teaching me not to trust God and his timing. One thing you just made me think about is how his timing is perfect. And even his plans and how he has us to operate is very perfect. Everything that he does is perfect. And I love that you hit on the fear of missing out, because that was something that I used to have. I feel like I'm about to miss out on something, but now I'm realizing if I look at every step of my life, I never missed out. I never lacked.
Lillie Mae: Mm-hmm.
Fire Ash: And I think something else you just made me realize is there were years ago, I had wanted to do a podcast. I had wanted to build this network of people. I had vision for a lot of stuff years ago. I think it was in like 2016, 17-ish era. And I had started some things and I just didn't carry them out. Fast forward to now, I'm looking at my life and I'm like,
Lillie Mae: Mm-hmm.
Fire Ash: I never missed anything because I'm doing everything now that I saw years ago. And I thank God that, you it makes me think about Joseph, how Joseph was given that dream and how even though he went through this journey that didn't look like anything God had told him about when he got to the end, it still happened, even though the journey didn't look like what God showed him originally. So when I hear when I heard you say that. It just made me thank God that I'm not missing out on anything. I'm not lacking for anything. My journey is exactly where it's supposed to be right now. I think that even in business, I have to remind myself not to rush anything, not to rush to get to like millionaire. I'm on my way. That's half of the reason why I'm on this journey. I'm on my way. But I have to realize like I don't want to rush God's process. You know, I think that we say trust the process a lot, but we still try to rush the process and that eliminates Trust, that shows us where our trust really is. And for me, it's like, no, Lord, even if I got to take my time to the millionaire, even if I have to take my time to the marriage, all the Ms, to the man, to the ministry, even if I have to take my time, I'm OK. Because as long as you're leading me, I know I'm on my way to exactly what you promised me. I'm going have to play that in a replay. ⁓
Lillie Mae: Yeah, I mean, talk about it because we have to be reminded that as humans, we're very like ⁓ one track minded, right? So we're looking at one thing, like let's just say, I wanna be married. We're just looking at one thing, but we forget that God is moving this massive chessboard and that's why his time is so important because it could be that the person that he's calling you to,
Fire Ash: Right. Right. Right. That's good.
Lillie Mae: we were talking about marriage, they have a purpose and you have to be matured to a certain level so that when you meet them and when they meet you, now y'all can operate in purpose together. But you weren't ready for that 10 years ago or maybe the partner wasn't ready. And so there's a divine timing and God knows like all of the chess pieces and how this one thing is going to affect 20,000 people where you just like, I want to be married because I'm tired of being single. I want to be married because I'm tired of being abstinent. I want to be married because I'm tired of going to events by myself, whatever our reasons are.
Fire Ash: That's good. That's so good. That's good. Yes.
Lillie Mae: I'm thinking one track minded. I know there's purpose on this marriage. There are people you guys are called to. And so he's always doing many things with one thing. And that's why we have to trust his timing. Like I'll give you another example that's unrelated to relationships. There's a really major conference that comes to Atlanta. And for years, I always wanted to go, but the ticket is very expensive. So every year I'd be like, ⁓ not this year, not this year. The tickets are so expensive. Well, earlier this year, I went to a brunch in Atlanta and they gave me a ticket. And I was like,
Fire Ash: Right. That's so good. Yes. That's good. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lillie Mae: I didn't have to, you know, move money around to make this thing happen. It's just, I won a ticket. And I was like, this is an example of God's timing and his gifts for us. His gifts for us often don't come with toil. We choose toil because our flesh can't wait.
Fire Ash: What? Wow. Yeah. Let's go. Yes.
Lillie Mae: We choose toil because we're trying to get ahead of God. We choose toil because we have a vision of how this is supposed to go. And it's so important that we surrender. That has been like a recurring theme for me for the last 20 years is me learning how to surrender, which is so hard because I'm an ambitious person, because I'm a visionary, because I see big things, but trusting and surrendering to the process, surrendering to the timing, even when the process doesn't make sense. Like I live in Raleigh, North Carolina.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. That's good.
Lillie Mae: I'm like, Lord, what am I doing? He gave me a very clear sign to be here, you know what I mean? So it's just, you know, trusting in his sovereignty, surrendering to the process, finding peace in it and finding balance and knowing that we're going to get to where he's called us to. It's inclusive words.
Fire Ash: Hahaha! Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Yes. Ooh, that's so good. So this is my actual final question. Because this is Millionaire Mindset X, guys, I always want to end with a mindset shift. So Lily May, what mindset shift would you want to leave our viewers with, recognizing where they are in a certain thought pattern and what they need to shift into?
Lillie Mae: Hmm, that's a good question. ⁓ What's coming to my mind is worthiness. That was the first thing that came to my mind. I was going to say something else, but what came to my mind was worthiness. And I feel like most of us struggle with feeling worthy. Okay. And so it's like, because we look at the bank account,
Fire Ash: Mm. Mm-hmm. Yes.
Lillie Mae: and it's looking crazy because we live in a certain neighborhood, because we may not be married, because we may be working what feels like a dead-end job. All of these things make us feel unworthy of the vision that we do have for greater. And so I just want everyone to shift your mindset from feeling unworthy based on your external circumstances. These are just circumstances. Now is not your forever. Like now is not your forever. I grew up in the hood in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. I grew up where
Fire Ash: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Mm.
Lillie Mae: People were shooting outside. We would jump out of the bed and be underneath the bunk bed scared because people are shooting. People were fighting, homeless people outside. And then somehow I made it to Netflix. Somehow I made it to BT Awards. Somehow I made it all of these places as a little hood girl that, you know, hair was probably sticking up all over the place, running around the neighborhood. That little girl made it to, you know, this woman. And I can't allow that to affect my worthiness. Just because I was, you know, born into poverty has nothing to do with my worthiness.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yep. Mmm, come on. Come on, sis. You Yes. Right.
Lillie Mae: Just because I'm single at 44 has nothing to do with my worthiness. So stop letting external circumstances affect your worthiness. You're worthy of a great man. You're worthy of millions. You're worthy enough to be on a stage speaking. You're worthy enough to be on podcast. Like you are worthy of great things because now is not your forever, right? This is your movie. God is the director. And so a lot of these moments,
Fire Ash: That's good. That's good. Yes. Yes.
Lillie Mae: that we go through that are hard, that are trying, it's just for the story. It's just for the plot, baby. Okay? It's just for the plot. So that one day you can be on a stage saying, hey, I grew up in the hood. You we grew up in poverty. Our rent was $200 a month. People were fighting, but look where God has brought me. Look what God has delivered me from, you know? And so I think that would be, I feel like I'm so long-winded, y'all. That's what I'm processing in real time. But I feel like worthiness is the mindset shift.
Fire Ash: Come on. Yes. No, girl! Yes.
Lillie Mae: No matter what your reality looks like, God has called you to great things. God says you're worthy. God says you're valuable. And I just want you to continue to marinate on that. Psalms 23, I saw on threads that reading Psalms 23 every morning for a month is a life-changing, you know, it helps your mindset. And so I will leave that with everyone to start reading Psalms 23. It's very short.
Fire Ash: Yes. Yeah, yeah. Mm. Yep.
Lillie Mae: read Psalm 23 every morning and be reminded that you are worthy of great things.
Fire Ash: Yes. You know it's interesting that you mentioned that. I used to read Psalms 23 like regularly. I used to ⁓ listen to this prayer on Psalms 23. It's one of my favorite scriptures. And recently, literally two days ago, I said, I'm going to start listening to it again. And the fact that you mentioned like this was on threads and I didn't see it, I'm like, OK, God, I see what you're doing there. ⁓ But I do want to say, know, thank you for hopping on and thank you for this conversation I appreciate you saying yes to the invite. This has been an amazing conversation I was blessed by and I hope that my audience has been as well I know that you have so many awesome things happening. You got things for March, ⁓ you know going on for Women's History Month I know that you have your brunch coming up, which I'm trying to get my hands into ⁓ But I would love it you would share more about all the things that you have going on within the 2026 year.
Lillie Mae: Sure, there are a lot of things. So we're hosting a brunch during Essence Festival weekend this summer. I would, of course, invite the ladies to that. We're hosting a brunch in Martha's Vineyard this summer as well. I also have a membership. And in my membership community, I bring women podcast interview opportunities, speaking opportunities. I offer them group coaching and things to help them show up as God is calling them to show up. Things that help.
Fire Ash: Yes.
Lillie Mae: scene to grow their audience, to grow their brands. And so all of the things you can check out on the glamceo.com, and I'm going to type it in the chat actually, glamceo.com. So if you join my email list, you'll really stay connected with everything that I have going on, whether it's the in-person events, I do a virtual event every month so that anyone can come in. I'm always just trying to come up with ways to help women grow in their purpose and really show up fully.
Fire Ash: Okay, sounds good. Yes.
Lillie Mae: who in the way that God has called them to show up. So I just would encourage everyone to join my email list at theglamceo.com. ⁓
Fire Ash: And then for your social media pages, cause I know you have your business page and you also have your personal page. So if you could let the people know where they can find you on social media as well.
Lillie Mae: Sure, sure. You can follow me on Instagram at Iamlilymay and it's the country spelling. So it's I am Lily May. ⁓ it's on the screen, Lily May. So y'all see it, there we go. Yeah, definitely follow me on Instagram as well. ⁓ I would love to, you know, help any of you who want to hop on a call. And if you have some ideas or anything like that, I would love to hop on a call and help you work through your ideas and help you develop your vision. Because sometimes we're doing everything alone and God does.
Fire Ash: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Lillie Mae: to be in community with other faith-based women because we're two or more gathered, okay?
Fire Ash: Yes. Well, I just want to say once again, thank you. And on every episode, I always want to end off with prayer, and just praying for my guests as you continue on this beautiful journey. So. Everybody who's listening bow your heads with us. Heavenly Father God, I just want to say thank you. I want to say thank you for Lily May. I want to say thank you for the journey and the wisdom that she has obtained. I thank you for the favor that is upon her life. Lord, I thank you that as she continues to walk Lord. Lord, I, ooh, in the name of Jesus, I hear the word prosper. And so God, I speak the word prosperity over her life as she continues to walk led. Grace and mercy follow her all the days of her life. I thank you God that you are doing new things, not just to her, but through her. God, I thank you that in her story, you will get all of the glory. God, I thank you that even her heart's desires will be fulfilled in your perfect time. Lord, I thank you for the assignment that you have placed on her life. I thank you for the calling. I thank you for the anointing and I pray that you will continue to allow her to speak the oracles of God. I pray that her mouth will be like water and let her flow with the rivers of living water. I thank you for every woman that she is connected to. thank you for the connections that you have given her and also for the doors that you have closed and the doors you've opened. God, I thank you that this is just the beginning of what she has seen and I thank you for the greater days that are coming. So God, I thank you for her. I thank you for the things that are coming in the name of Jesus and I just pray that she continues to be blessed according to your word, your will and your way and I say amen in the name of Jesus.
Lillie Mae: Amen. Amen. Let's keep that.
Fire Ash: So with that, guys, tuned for next week's episode. We will be doing this Tuesdays and Thursdays on YouTube. ⁓ And feel free to check out podcast, the last episode, and stay tuned for the ones to come. ⁓ So with that, guys, I will talk to soon.