WEBVTT
00:00:00.194 --> 00:00:01.885
you
00:00:14.913 --> 00:00:18.957
Are you tired of the constant struggle of coming up with what's for breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
00:00:18.978 --> 00:00:22.541
Do you find yourself overwhelmed by conflicting nutrition advice?
00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:29.426
Say goodbye to the guesswork and frustration because our dietitians at McDaniel Nutrition have the perfect meal planning service for you.
00:00:29.466 --> 00:00:35.171
These custom meal plans are meticulously crafted in collaboration with you and our dietitians.
00:00:35.612 --> 00:00:39.375
And here's what you can expect from this service, a personalized assessment.
00:00:39.655 --> 00:00:45.860
We need to start with what you care about, your health goals, dietary restrictions, lifestyle factors, who you live with.
00:00:46.301 --> 00:00:48.564
Those plans will then be customized to you.
00:00:48.963 --> 00:00:53.768
Say goodbye to the one size fits all meal plans that you can find generated by AI or online.
00:00:53.810 --> 00:00:57.152
These are customized to you and your individual goals.
00:00:57.533 --> 00:01:06.403
You will have expert guidance because your registered dietitian is with you every single week through the process, making sure that your plan is perfect for you.
00:01:06.442 --> 00:01:13.570
And you'll have access to our convenient online platform where you can make changes to your meal plans at any point that you'd like.
00:01:14.150 --> 00:01:23.069
Results that you can see and feel our clients are so satisfied with these plans that they keep asking for more and wanting us to create them week after week.
00:01:23.691 --> 00:01:26.557
Ready to take the first step towards this customized meal plan?
00:01:26.957 --> 00:01:28.320
Contact us now to get started.
00:01:28.361 --> 00:01:30.344
Your taste buds and body will thank you.
00:01:31.394 --> 00:01:33.396
Welcome to the Love You More podcast.
00:01:33.575 --> 00:01:38.739
I am your host, Jennifer McDaniel, and today we have a local guest, a local St.
00:01:38.780 --> 00:01:41.302
Louisan, Daisy Gillespie.
00:01:41.582 --> 00:01:57.716
Daisy is a weight-inclusive, anti-diet personal stylist who helps her clients reject fashion rules and ideal standards of beauty imposed by the patriarchy, white supremacism, and capitalism so they can uncover their authentic style.
00:01:58.236 --> 00:02:08.687
Through their work building a functional wardrobe, Daisy's clients make a mindset shift from thinking they need to wear what's flattering to unapologetically taking up space in the world.
00:02:09.368 --> 00:02:23.103
After a lifetime of jobs and high-stress careers that didn't suit her highly sensitive introverted personality, which I feel deeply, Daisy started Mindful Closet in 2013 in an attempt to create a more emotionally sustainable lifestyle.
00:02:23.524 --> 00:02:31.632
Her work has been featured in Forbes, Real Simple, New York Magazine's The Strategist, and Lifehacker, and she is a frequent podcast guest.
00:02:31.853 --> 00:02:34.996
Daisy lives with her husband and two boys in St.
00:02:35.036 --> 00:02:36.016
Louis, Missouri.
00:02:36.056 --> 00:02:37.979
Daisy, it's so lovely to have you here.
00:02:37.998 --> 00:02:38.740
I'm
00:02:38.759 --> 00:02:39.781
happy to be here.
00:02:39.820 --> 00:02:40.461
Thank you.
00:02:40.502 --> 00:02:50.853
Yeah, we were just talking because Daisy and I have both been in a household full of kids home from school in a very snow-filled St.
00:02:50.893 --> 00:02:51.173
Louis.
00:02:51.212 --> 00:02:57.120
So we're really grateful to have all kids back at school today so we can do this without anybody pounding on our door.
00:02:57.780 --> 00:03:00.002
Yes, absolutely.
00:03:00.022 --> 00:03:02.004
It's just lovely to have have some silence.
00:03:02.485 --> 00:03:02.825
Yeah.
00:03:02.885 --> 00:03:03.306
Yeah, really.
00:03:03.466 --> 00:03:07.310
I hope you don't mind me asking you this question because you posted it on social media the other day.
00:03:07.390 --> 00:03:08.451
So I have to follow up.
00:03:08.912 --> 00:03:10.413
What happened with Fortnite?
00:03:10.454 --> 00:03:13.736
Did you decide to bring Fortnite into your house?
00:03:14.478 --> 00:03:14.979
Yeah.
00:03:15.038 --> 00:03:15.939
So interesting.
00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:16.599
Yes.
00:03:18.062 --> 00:03:27.391
So I am a really, I mean, I think, I don't know if this is part of being a highly sensitive person, but, you know, I really think very deeply about things and maybe even too much.
00:03:27.431 --> 00:03:58.062
Like I probably overthink a lot of things, but yeah, I mean, we have a tenure old whose friends have been playing fortnight for for a few years some of them um of course the game is rated 13 and up um and i don't like that there is gun violence in it in the game that's my main concern with it and then also my concern is that my son has ADHD and, you know, video games are created to be just to hook you in and kind of, you know, just get you hooked.
00:03:58.222 --> 00:04:03.926
So we decided to give it a try and we limit it to one hour a day.
00:04:03.967 --> 00:04:09.431
And it's been a few weeks and so far it's been going okay.
00:04:10.072 --> 00:04:25.507
My husband has kind of like, we've both kind of like sat with him while he played and yeah, it's, you know, with parenting I think you just, some things you have to give a little bit on and some things you have to hold the line on.
00:04:25.548 --> 00:04:29.353
And that's just kind of where we landed on this one.
00:04:29.372 --> 00:04:30.713
I don't think there's any right answer.
00:04:31.035 --> 00:04:32.375
No, no, there never is.
00:04:32.456 --> 00:04:37.021
It's just whatever comes up and what feels right for your family and you can always change your mind, right?
00:04:37.062 --> 00:04:46.353
I mean, we, my oldest also requested that this year and we just got a PS5 for the first time for Christmas, for holiday.
00:04:46.512 --> 00:04:52.110
And Um, yeah, I will say, uh, we absolutely let him play too long on it at times.
00:04:52.170 --> 00:04:57.954
And especially over the days in which we've had these snow days, we've really, he's really had some fun with it.
00:04:58.355 --> 00:05:18.678
I do love the fact that he's constantly talking out loud with another person, you know, compared to being down in a room by himself, you know, um, there just seems to be like camaraderie and, um, yeah, that part I was pleasantly surprised, um, with that piece of things, but you know, you have, you have a younger child too.
00:05:18.718 --> 00:05:20.206
And I think that was the other part with us.
00:05:20.266 --> 00:05:51.976
We were like, okay, well, if you get to have this, you know, I don't really want the other boys involved and I tried to hold that line and then you know they're so curious and they want to know and you just can't I can't be there at all times so the other ones have definitely snuck in and kind of watched and I've watched too and you know yes absolutely there's the guns and stuff that we don't care for I will say it doesn't seem to be quite as violent as I was maybe expecting it to be you know um and a bit more kind of just like like curious and strategic.
00:05:52.076 --> 00:05:56.882
And yeah, so anyway, I just, yeah, I was curious how that landed for you, Daisy.
00:05:57.523 --> 00:05:58.764
Yeah, it's tough.
00:05:59.225 --> 00:06:00.526
Yeah, it absolutely is.
00:06:00.627 --> 00:06:09.396
But so I always start with this question for our guests, what is just to hear a little bit about what self-care, you know, looks like for you.
00:06:09.416 --> 00:06:09.497
That
00:06:11.899 --> 00:06:13.341
is like the lifelong thing.
00:06:13.762 --> 00:06:15.524
you know, thing to figure out.
00:06:15.545 --> 00:06:15.805
Right.
00:06:16.747 --> 00:06:18.410
But actually I think I've done a lot of good work.
00:06:19.591 --> 00:06:25.261
I mean, for me, self-care is kind of, you know, when you were reading my bio, it was kind of reminding me of that.
00:06:25.321 --> 00:06:32.612
Like really for me, self-care is like setting up my life in a way that is not going to burn me out pretty much.
00:06:33.053 --> 00:06:43.713
And so for me, I'm extremely lucky and privileged and I am grateful for the situation that I have in which I don't work a full eight hours a day.
00:06:43.733 --> 00:06:53.055
I mean, I really have learned that even when I was working in an office, that my kind of sustained mental capacity, you know, I can go for a few hours.
00:06:53.235 --> 00:06:56.139
And then at that point, the work that I'm doing is not good.
00:06:56.160 --> 00:07:01.925
And when I was in an office, it would be kind of like, okay, I'll do some busy work, you know, because I still have to be here.
00:07:02.666 --> 00:07:05.810
But that for me is the biggest piece of self-care.
00:07:05.850 --> 00:07:23.230
And especially I'll add in like when you are a parent, for me having an hour or so to myself before they get home from school, you know, kind of in between work and kids being home is again, something I know I'm very lucky to have, but it really is self-care.
00:07:23.553 --> 00:07:25.937
Yeah, no, I love that.
00:07:25.997 --> 00:07:31.822
I love kind of the transition time of being able to just have a minute before you move into a different mode.
00:07:32.004 --> 00:07:37.149
You know, how do you, how do you kind of, what does it feel like?
00:07:37.209 --> 00:07:41.634
What does it look like when you can tell that you're needing more of that time?
00:07:41.915 --> 00:07:46.098
Like you kind of mentioned, you know, that you've got this like bandwidth and then it sort of ends.
00:07:46.158 --> 00:07:47.860
What are some of those signals for you?
00:07:49.089 --> 00:07:53.971
Do you mean in terms of like overall life stuff when I start to get close to burnout or like within a day?
00:07:54.338 --> 00:07:56.038
Yeah, within a day, you know?
00:07:56.199 --> 00:07:56.920
Yeah, yeah.
00:07:57.060 --> 00:07:57.800
Yeah,
00:07:57.841 --> 00:08:01.444
I mean, I'll just truly get to the point where I'm like, I can't think straight.
00:08:01.783 --> 00:08:02.225
You know what I mean?
00:08:02.305 --> 00:08:04.887
I'm trying to solve this problem and the solution is not coming.
00:08:04.906 --> 00:08:10.971
Or if I'm writing, you know, I do a lot of writing that, you know, I'm just stuck and things are not going anywhere.
00:08:11.153 --> 00:08:18.459
And at that point, it's just not worth it to try and push because I'll only exhaust myself further and nothing good will come out of it.
00:08:18.959 --> 00:08:19.839
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:19.899 --> 00:08:21.661
So it's very evident for you in your work.
00:08:21.862 --> 00:08:23.262
That's kind of where it really shows up.
00:08:23.343 --> 00:08:24.064
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:24.084 --> 00:08:24.303
For sure.
00:08:24.303 --> 00:08:27.310
Maybe we could start with the transition.
00:08:27.329 --> 00:08:39.054
You were in this different type of job that was requiring more from you than you were wanting, and then you transitioned into your business that you have now.
00:08:39.154 --> 00:08:41.879
Can you tell us a little bit about how that unfolded?
00:08:43.073 --> 00:08:58.662
Yeah, I feel like I'm, you know, I always feel when I speak about my own privilege, I always I feel guilty, you know, I'll be honest, you know, because I know there are so many parents out there and so many just people listening who don't have as many options as I have.
00:08:58.721 --> 00:09:01.988
So I just always really want to acknowledge that.
00:09:02.990 --> 00:09:03.070
Yeah.
00:09:03.330 --> 00:09:06.313
And so, yeah, I was working at a nonprofit.
00:09:06.573 --> 00:09:14.203
And if you've ever worked at a nonprofit, you know that you're doing three people's jobs for half of one person's pay and working a lot.
00:09:14.724 --> 00:09:24.196
And really for at least a year or two had been kind of considering a career change and really didn't know what I would do.
00:09:24.736 --> 00:09:30.964
And so I really had been talking about this with my therapist for months and months.
00:09:31.304 --> 00:09:35.033
And I've always loved fashion and clothes.
00:09:35.494 --> 00:09:38.657
But truly, I just never thought I was cool enough to work in fashion.
00:09:38.677 --> 00:09:39.138
Do you know what I mean?
00:09:39.158 --> 00:09:41.941
It just felt like a space that I couldn't fit in.
00:09:41.961 --> 00:09:43.864
I couldn't belong.
00:09:44.423 --> 00:09:48.730
And so my therapist, finally, one day she asked this question that kind of unlocked everything for me.
00:09:48.789 --> 00:09:51.732
And she said, what is it that people come to you for help with?
00:09:52.774 --> 00:09:56.602
And that had kind of always been something that people knew about me.
00:09:56.623 --> 00:10:04.196
It was a piece of my identity that I loved clothes and that, you know, you would come to me with a question about what to wear or help clean out your closet or whatever.
00:10:04.235 --> 00:10:17.086
And so that idea, just the thought that like other people maybe believed in me about this, maybe I could, have that belief in myself was really the pivot point.
00:10:17.606 --> 00:10:19.409
And then again, I was lucky enough.
00:10:19.770 --> 00:10:24.238
I'm married to a wonderful person and he said, let's take a year.
00:10:24.259 --> 00:10:27.684
Why don't you start a business and take a year and see how it goes?
00:10:28.105 --> 00:10:30.269
And I did.
00:10:30.750 --> 00:10:32.493
And this is 12 years later.
00:10:32.533 --> 00:10:34.475
Yeah, that's wonderful.
00:10:34.537 --> 00:10:37.879
And I It sounds like you also have a very good therapist.
00:10:39.783 --> 00:10:40.966
It's important.
00:10:40.985 --> 00:10:41.707
Yeah, it's important.
00:10:42.109 --> 00:10:44.916
Yeah, to spark that question and to kind of get the mind.
00:10:44.956 --> 00:10:47.621
Yeah, curious about that.
00:10:47.874 --> 00:10:50.336
piece to sort of send you off in this trajectory.
00:10:50.355 --> 00:11:14.317
And yeah, I also, regarding the privilege and, you know, even seeing yourself in this role as a stylist, but then now being able to offer it to others, you know, in a way in which making it accessible, you know, how does that look like with what you do at Mindful Closet and making it available to people who, you know, maybe we wouldn't think, oh, I couldn't afford to have a personal stylist.
00:11:14.736 --> 00:11:15.898
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
00:11:15.937 --> 00:11:17.399
I mean, that's something I think about all the time.
00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:26.549
And I'll just say upfront that since 2020, I've donated 10% of profits to Jamaa Birth Village, which is a local St.
00:11:26.590 --> 00:11:36.240
Louis midwifery clinic for Black women, because you probably know that the maternal death rate for Black women is so much higher than anyone else.
00:11:36.860 --> 00:11:44.350
And that having had two babies and kind of going through that experience, I just think that support in that area is so, so important.
00:11:44.389 --> 00:11:51.320
So that's one piece, you know, and definitely my services are expensive.
00:11:51.340 --> 00:11:56.927
Like if I were not me, and I was considering this, I don't know if I'd be able to spend the amount of money.
00:11:56.966 --> 00:12:06.123
But what I do is I have so many resources that I get constant feedback on from people saying how, how helpful they are.
00:12:06.243 --> 00:12:16.196
So, you know, I have a sub stack newsletter with, you know, any of the articles that I write with like very concrete advice about how to handle a certain situation.
00:12:16.235 --> 00:12:17.216
Those are always free.
00:12:17.236 --> 00:12:26.107
I have free downloads about how to create a capsule wardrobe and how to oh gosh, I don't even know how to pack for travel, you know?
00:12:26.128 --> 00:12:33.236
And on my Instagram, I'm, you know, I just, I give away a lot of, a lot of free advice.
00:12:33.456 --> 00:12:42.909
And so that for me is a way in which there are options, like a breadth of options from free to more expensive.
00:12:43.330 --> 00:12:45.352
Yeah, no, that's fantastic.
00:12:45.432 --> 00:12:53.062
And thank you for doing what you're doing in terms of donating a large percentage of what you do.
00:12:53.384 --> 00:12:55.086
That's fabulous.
00:12:55.166 --> 00:13:09.018
And I know that those I'm curious about how what you have done has changed in terms of how you work mostly with women.
00:13:09.038 --> 00:13:11.000
Is this 100% women that come through?
00:13:11.020 --> 00:13:12.263
You don't ever work with men.
00:13:13.524 --> 00:13:22.719
So when you first got started and you had that year that you and your husband were just like, let's play around with this and see what happens.
00:13:23.159 --> 00:13:25.663
How has Mindful Closet evolved?
00:13:25.724 --> 00:13:28.206
How have you worked with women?
00:13:28.287 --> 00:13:29.208
How has that changed?
00:13:30.049 --> 00:13:31.873
Oh, so yeah, so much.
00:13:32.914 --> 00:13:50.015
Well, initially I was really open to working with anyone and I worked with men, but I really realized pretty quickly that the piece of this whole kind of styling business that is the most really interesting to me.
00:13:50.056 --> 00:13:57.947
And I think makes the most impact is kind of the emotional piece and the mind, the mindset piece that I can help people shift.
00:13:58.068 --> 00:14:08.605
And what that is, is that I couldn't, I couldn't believe that, you know, woman after woman after woman that I worked with, everyone had the same issue.
00:14:08.784 --> 00:14:14.374
Like everyone had the same issue and it didn't matter what their body looked like, but everyone thought their body was wrong.
00:14:15.169 --> 00:14:28.519
And so when you think that about your body, when you think that it shouldn't be the way it is, that it should be the way it was in the past, or it should be some standard that we've seen on social media or TV.
00:14:29.538 --> 00:14:33.243
when you feel that way about your body, you're not able to move forward with your style.
00:14:33.583 --> 00:14:35.866
You are holding onto clothes that don't fit.
00:14:35.907 --> 00:14:39.552
You are not allowing yourself to buy clothes in the size that does fit.
00:14:40.514 --> 00:14:42.057
And that's what I saw over and over.
00:14:42.096 --> 00:14:53.013
And so that really led me to kind of educate myself on body image, on intuitive eating, on health at every size.
00:14:53.033 --> 00:14:59.062
And all of those things have just kind of contributed bits and pieces to the way that I approach this now.
00:14:59.682 --> 00:15:04.081
Yeah, so what might that look like?
00:15:04.162 --> 00:15:10.542
You know, you have the woman who comes in and, you know, opens up with something like that.
00:15:10.581 --> 00:15:12.543
Well, I'm so, you know, frustrated.
00:15:12.604 --> 00:15:17.849
Like I, you know, I used to be able to wear this size and now I just kind of, I don't know what to do with all those clothes.
00:15:17.869 --> 00:15:19.070
Should I just like keep them?
00:15:19.090 --> 00:15:20.030
Should I throw them away?
00:15:20.091 --> 00:15:23.533
I mean, I, in our practice, we have lots of conversations like that as well.
00:15:24.174 --> 00:15:28.980
You know, now we've got a lot of weight loss medications out there too, which is kind of shifting things around.
00:15:29.159 --> 00:15:33.504
So yeah, what is, how do you even get started with those conversations?
00:15:34.365 --> 00:15:41.697
Yeah, well, the, The way I think to get started is to name and acknowledge why you believe that, right?
00:15:41.717 --> 00:15:45.107
I spend my entire first session with clients.
00:15:45.207 --> 00:15:53.855
We don't really get into clothing specifics, but I want to hear what their relationship to their body and their clothes has been over the course of their life.
00:15:54.317 --> 00:16:07.788
I want to hear what messages they got from their mother, from their grandmother, from their high school friends, you know, because I want, when we get to that point of them saying, well, these clothes don't fit, but I don't want to get rid of them because maybe I'll fit back into them.
00:16:07.808 --> 00:16:13.654
I want to be able to refer back to the conversation where we said, oh, that's right.
00:16:13.715 --> 00:16:14.936
I got, that's my mom.
00:16:15.275 --> 00:16:16.837
That's what my mom said to me.
00:16:16.878 --> 00:16:26.587
And I Am I choosing to believe the same thing that she believes or am I choosing to kind of choose my own way of being in the world?
00:16:27.328 --> 00:16:40.268
And so having that foundation of knowing where those influences came from, naming them, deciding whether you want to accept them or not, that comes into play when we edit your closet or when we go shopping.
00:16:40.288 --> 00:16:41.370
Yeah.
00:16:41.389 --> 00:16:41.470
Yeah.
00:16:42.018 --> 00:16:43.879
I love that so much, Daisy.
00:16:44.100 --> 00:17:00.198
I feel like that's something that I've just recently kind of stumbled upon in terms of having the belief that our thoughts are not ours, you know, for the most part, that thoughts around any kind of diet culture related thing.
00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:11.222
You know, when we were born, we had, you know, we had this perfectly empty, perfect thing, perfect baby with nothing other than just curiosity.
00:17:11.343 --> 00:17:28.017
And then over time, you know, depending upon where we landed and what family we were into, born into, or what college we went to and who our roommates were, like over time, all of these, you know, thoughts put in us about how we should think about something.
00:17:28.136 --> 00:17:37.186
And so just to be able to separate, you know, the fact that that is just a thought that someone else is sort of, or some cult Right, yeah.
00:17:52.417 --> 00:18:18.525
you know uh probably late 60s and just feeling like she just didn't know how to eat and you know i felt like that was something that we i really wanted to go deeply with her about like your your wise self does know how to eat you know um so i just really appreciate you know um that you have that you spend a whole first session unpacking that with someone.
00:18:18.945 --> 00:18:23.551
And yeah, do you have any just kind of cool stories from a first session like that?
00:18:23.612 --> 00:18:28.838
Like what someone, you know, how they feel differently after they leave your...
00:18:29.740 --> 00:18:30.580
Yeah, I have so many.
00:18:30.840 --> 00:18:33.464
The first one that comes to mind, though, is I also have a group.
00:18:33.505 --> 00:18:34.385
So I do one-on-one work.
00:18:34.445 --> 00:18:37.711
And then one of my lower price options is group work.
00:18:38.392 --> 00:18:43.858
And I just had someone who she has been feeling so lost.
00:18:44.440 --> 00:18:45.942
Like you said, like she doesn't know what she...
00:18:46.241 --> 00:18:48.547
what she likes and I would say probably a similar age range.
00:18:49.469 --> 00:18:58.086
And I posed this question or part of what I teach in the group is to create a really specific shopping list.
00:18:58.106 --> 00:19:11.708
Like this is after you've defined your style, this is after you've edited your wardrobe, but you need to like be very concrete on what you're specifically looking for, because that's the issue when we get into shopping and over shopping, it's because you're not specific enough about what you really need.
00:19:12.769 --> 00:19:16.333
And so she asked me the question, she said, is that really possible?
00:19:16.373 --> 00:19:20.196
Is it really possible to like put a specific thing on a list and then actually find it?
00:19:20.237 --> 00:19:21.878
And I was like, yeah.
00:19:22.660 --> 00:19:28.365
And she said, I've just always, she's like, I've never, I've always settled in one way or another.
00:19:28.705 --> 00:19:41.365
And then she went away for a couple of days and then she came back and she said, I realized that that is a connection to how I've never been able to ask for exactly what I need in life.
00:19:42.527 --> 00:20:03.176
And so like the act of giving her permission to say specifically what piece of clothing that she wanted and to hold out for it all, the fit, the comfort, the style, all of those pieces to be there, she had this big shift where she's like, yeah, I've never, I've always settled basically.
00:20:04.661 --> 00:20:04.901
Wow.
00:20:06.284 --> 00:20:06.605
Yeah.
00:20:06.644 --> 00:20:15.503
I mean, how incredibly empowering to be able to see other, other ways, you know, to see other ways to live that out.
00:20:15.624 --> 00:20:21.355
And then, once you know something is true, you can't unknow that.
00:20:21.536 --> 00:20:26.105
So it's kind of like the ability to continue to show up in that way.
00:20:26.226 --> 00:20:33.662
And I'm sure that that transfers outside of choosing her wardrobe to other areas in life as well.
00:20:33.821 --> 00:20:35.605
So what beautiful work.
00:20:36.961 --> 00:20:38.025
Yeah, I mean, I love it.
00:20:38.105 --> 00:20:41.272
I have had clients leave their jobs after we work together.
00:20:41.292 --> 00:20:52.701
I really, you know, I do think there's, especially being conditioned as women in our culture, I do think that there is a lack of permission to choose things.
00:20:53.122 --> 00:20:57.566
what works for you as opposed to taking care of everyone around you.
00:20:57.586 --> 00:21:02.431
And so the way that I look at what I do is it's just one entry point.
00:21:02.510 --> 00:21:10.378
I see the way that you work with people as another entry point and they're all entry points into listening to that inner voice, right?
00:21:10.419 --> 00:21:13.061
And they're all practice in doing that.
00:21:13.221 --> 00:21:23.644
And so whether you're working on knowing what you want to eat or knowing what you want to wear or knowing how you want to move your body, those are all ways that you're getting to know that true essence, like you said.
00:21:24.066 --> 00:21:24.406
Yeah.
00:21:24.666 --> 00:21:24.946
Yeah.
00:21:25.028 --> 00:21:25.989
No, that's wonderful.
00:21:26.028 --> 00:21:30.036
How do, how have a lot of your clients found you?
00:21:30.056 --> 00:21:30.096
Oh,
00:21:31.459 --> 00:21:32.681
that's such a good question.
00:21:32.721 --> 00:21:39.813
And I'm, it's, it's shifted back and forth kind of over time.
00:21:39.833 --> 00:21:48.358
I have had most of my clients, well, currently they're mostly coming from just a search engine, optimization.
00:21:48.419 --> 00:21:49.941
So Google pretty much.
00:21:50.781 --> 00:21:51.122
Yeah.
00:21:51.162 --> 00:21:55.086
And yeah, I know.
00:21:55.106 --> 00:21:55.468
I know.
00:21:55.548 --> 00:21:58.070
I mean, I definitely, that's definitely something I've worked on.
00:21:59.492 --> 00:22:01.075
But then I also get clients through Instagram.
00:22:01.115 --> 00:22:02.537
I get clients through Substack.
00:22:02.636 --> 00:22:08.144
I've had a couple people come through TikTok, although that is kind of, you know, who knows what's going on over there anymore.
00:22:08.243 --> 00:22:14.035
But and then I have definitely had, you know, people Referrals.
00:22:14.055 --> 00:22:24.336
One thing that's been happening recently is that I have had several husbands get in touch with me and say, you know, this has been always been frustrating for my wife.
00:22:24.557 --> 00:22:29.828
And I looked and I found your website and it seems like something that she would be interested in.
00:22:30.753 --> 00:22:41.103
And I've just found that like really touching that there are people who are really seeing someone's discomfort and wanting to help them with that.
00:22:41.182 --> 00:22:46.948
And, you know, on the one hand, I don't actually don't do gift certificates at all because I did do them early on.
00:22:47.188 --> 00:22:48.750
And, you know, it's not always a welcome gift.
00:22:49.830 --> 00:22:54.094
Someone says like, here's someone to help you with your clothes.
00:22:54.153 --> 00:22:57.057
And you think to yourself, well, is there something wrong with my clothes?
00:22:57.717 --> 00:22:59.098
And so I don't do that anymore.
00:22:59.159 --> 00:23:09.554
So basically my response to these people is, you know, yeah, I'd love to work with her and let's, you know, let's talk to her about it, you know, but I don't want this to be something that's like sprung on someone.
00:23:09.814 --> 00:23:10.134
Yeah.
00:23:10.335 --> 00:23:11.955
But oh my gosh, how lovely is that?
00:23:12.016 --> 00:23:20.584
Because I can just envision, you know, we're in the closet and we, who is the person there, you know, be like, okay, how does this look on me?
00:23:20.624 --> 00:23:22.164
They never know.
00:23:22.565 --> 00:23:24.027
You know, it's like always a comedian joke.
00:23:24.067 --> 00:23:25.607
How do we answer this question?
00:23:27.209 --> 00:23:29.550
So I just, that's so, so lovely.
00:23:29.731 --> 00:23:37.239
And, but the way, like, I feel like any, if some partner brought this to my, you to my attention.
00:23:37.298 --> 00:23:45.586
And I went to your site and I saw your vibe and who you were, anything that I was like, oh, he's trying to get me, you know, that would just disappear.
00:23:46.909 --> 00:23:47.048
Yeah.
00:23:47.108 --> 00:23:53.055
I mean, I do really try and convey, you know, everywhere that this is not about me telling you what to do.
00:23:53.296 --> 00:24:00.542
This is not about me, you know, diagnosing your body as some kind of fruit and then telling you what is the most flattering for your body.
00:24:01.223 --> 00:24:04.928
This is really, I see myself as a guide to helping you uncover Yeah.
00:24:05.628 --> 00:24:06.289
Yeah, I
00:24:08.573 --> 00:24:08.792
know.
00:24:09.093 --> 00:24:09.814
That's wonderful.
00:24:09.874 --> 00:24:18.224
And I, you know, I think about just kind of going back to style and, you know, how we tend to get in.
00:24:18.244 --> 00:24:18.925
I don't know.
00:24:18.965 --> 00:24:25.374
I just sort of feel like personally that like my style is sort of just very slowly changing.
00:24:25.473 --> 00:24:46.339
shaped over time but nothing nothing grand nothing grandiose you know still kind of wear the same things to some degree do do you find that when women come and work with you that they really sort of continue down the road of the same stuff or do they do you see a lot of like oh my gosh she's wearing completely different things and expressing a different side of her
00:24:47.182 --> 00:24:53.820
yeah i see both i mean when you asked me the question before kind of about what, you know, I've seen with clients, how it's changed them.
00:24:53.861 --> 00:25:12.661
You know, another, another example that had come to mind was a woman who was in a larger body and she'd always been kind of taught by her mother to dress very conservatively and in like very tailored lines because like, you don't want to look bigger than you are and you don't want to call any attention to yourself.
00:25:13.521 --> 00:25:19.121
And as we worked together, I mean, from the start, she was, And it's just crazy.
00:25:19.161 --> 00:25:21.247
Like, cause like you said, it's there, it's there.
00:25:21.267 --> 00:25:26.180
But she loves like really Bohemian clothes.
00:25:26.220 --> 00:25:29.608
Like she loves linen and things that flow in the wind.
00:25:29.890 --> 00:25:44.108
And, you know, once we found that out, it was like she was not going back and, and yeah, she would, you would look at her and see a different person than, than you had seen before.
00:25:44.470 --> 00:25:48.056
I will say for most people, it's not that big of a shift, but that was a fun one.
00:25:48.336 --> 00:25:49.156
Yeah, totally.
00:25:49.237 --> 00:25:49.898
No, that's great.
00:25:49.919 --> 00:26:00.032
After people work with you, do you kind of notice, I'm just kind of, I'm wondering how, we don't go back into old practices.
00:26:00.093 --> 00:26:19.376
You know, I think like whether it's looking at certain things on Instagram or, you know, going to a certain place for fashion ideas, like it feels like there should be some, not things that are off, you know, we don't do this anymore, but to sort of protect ourselves from this, you know, just curious about like what that, how that
00:26:19.436 --> 00:26:19.998
might work.
00:26:20.162 --> 00:26:21.143
Yeah, I mean, definitely.
00:26:21.163 --> 00:26:26.230
I think we all need to curate our feeds very intentionally, our social media.
00:26:26.250 --> 00:26:33.838
I think any time you see an image that makes you feel bad about yourself, you should immediately unfollow.
00:26:33.858 --> 00:26:38.244
I also think it's really important.
00:26:38.285 --> 00:26:40.847
A lot of the work that I do with clients is on Pinterest.
00:26:41.909 --> 00:26:47.655
And on Pinterest, it's really important to make sure that you're seeing a diversity of bodies.
00:26:49.314 --> 00:26:55.786
Because as in most media, most of the images you're going to see are of then white women, then tall white women.
00:26:55.806 --> 00:27:05.083
And if that's not you, it's going to be very hard to make the connection between what that person's wearing and what you could wear.
00:27:05.683 --> 00:27:11.413
And I see people shut themselves down all the time because they say, They might say, oh, I like that outfit, but I can never wear that.
00:27:11.433 --> 00:27:14.779
Or I love that outfit, but it wouldn't look good on me.
00:27:15.560 --> 00:27:18.826
And so what we have to do is we kind of ignore that at first.
00:27:18.905 --> 00:27:23.854
And I really tell people to try and turn off that thinking brain and just go with like a gut instinct about the clothes.
00:27:23.953 --> 00:27:25.938
Like, let's try not to look at the body.
00:27:26.198 --> 00:27:27.760
Let's try and look at just the clothes.
00:27:28.582 --> 00:27:31.767
And we'll get a good sense of their style from that.
00:27:32.268 --> 00:27:41.728
But once we've done that, that bit of work and we have at least a phrase or some keywords we can work with about their style, then we have to start adding a diversity of bodies.
00:27:41.907 --> 00:27:45.053
And Pinterest has started to make some progress in this area.
00:27:45.093 --> 00:27:52.806
They've got a body type search filter now where you can choose a bigger body for your results when you're searching.
00:27:52.846 --> 00:28:06.923
And also it's really important, like personally, I, every few pins, I have to make sure to pin someone in a bigger body or else Pinterest is going to continue to feed me bodies that don't look like mine even.
00:28:06.963 --> 00:28:17.800
And I'm, you know, I'm, I have lots of, of thin privilege, but it's really, really important because I think just, and I'm, my previous career was in classical music.
00:28:17.881 --> 00:28:25.211
And I think about this concept of like familiarity, which is like, we all know Beethoven's music and we all know Mozart's music.
00:28:25.952 --> 00:28:27.683
And I, it's familiar to us.
00:28:27.943 --> 00:28:36.017
But if you heard a piece of classical music that was written 10 years ago, it would sound so weird to you because you haven't heard it for years and years and years.
00:28:37.138 --> 00:28:38.381
And it's the same with images.
00:28:38.421 --> 00:28:49.480
All we've seen all of our lives, you know, especially those of us who are millennials, elder millennials, you know, all we've seen are, you know, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie.
00:28:49.559 --> 00:29:00.093
And, you know, even in the age of social media, you know, there's a prevalence for that, for these ideal bodies that truly are such a small percentage of what we all actually look like.
00:29:01.214 --> 00:29:11.659
And if you can't become more familiar with a diversity of bodies, it's going to be really hard for you to be able to feel good in your clothes.
00:29:12.299 --> 00:29:13.182
Yeah.
00:29:13.346 --> 00:29:14.367
Yeah, that's so beautiful.
00:29:14.428 --> 00:29:32.155
And it just makes me think a lot of, you know, some of the younger women that come into this practice, whether they're youth athletes or they're, you know, women who have some disordered eating patterns and thinking about how much time they're spending on social media and the images that they're seeing over and over again.
00:29:32.196 --> 00:29:42.678
And you know, just maybe some more conversation around what, what does your, what do your Instagram or TikTok or social media feeds look like?
00:29:42.778 --> 00:29:54.290
I mean, And getting curious about ways that they might be able to shake that up and or not spend so much time, but that can be trickier, you know?
00:29:54.971 --> 00:29:55.211
Yeah.
00:29:55.271 --> 00:30:03.699
I mean, it's really, really tough because now not only, you know, at least Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie were human,
00:30:04.539 --> 00:30:04.799
you
00:30:04.839 --> 00:30:36.589
know, and when we would see them, there weren't so many, you know, ways to modify their body in images, but now you can't even trust that what you're seeing on social media is that person's body you know what I mean it could have been modified in so many ways that yeah I think it's really hard and honestly this is such a huge topic and you know it's it's a road we shouldn't go down right now but it is just I'm really scared that as a society we're going to forget what a woman without modifications looks like
00:30:37.130 --> 00:30:37.351
yeah
00:30:37.951 --> 00:31:04.224
yeah yeah I um I heard from a therapist the other day something just as an act to do which I found so brilliant which was to encourage my clients to create a separate Instagram account where it's only things that really feel like just totally comforting and lovely and warm, like a bunch of animal videos or nature videos.
00:31:04.265 --> 00:31:14.750
And that's only what those, you know, Instagram accounts are made up of and to have a separate, separate one, you know, and I'm always just encouraging people.
00:31:14.849 --> 00:31:24.229
you know, my clients just to check in with themselves, how they feel when they get off of it, you know, feeling better, feeling better now that you've spent some time on that.
00:31:24.288 --> 00:31:25.151
Are you feeling worse?
00:31:25.211 --> 00:31:26.294
Are you in comparison mode?
00:31:26.334 --> 00:31:27.134
Like what's happening?
00:31:27.174 --> 00:31:27.516
You know?
00:31:27.655 --> 00:31:45.446
So anyway, I just thought that was kind of an interesting suggestion by the therapist because we can't always tell, you know, uh, 17-year-old or a college kid to like get off social, but maybe we can teach them to create something and just to sort of a sense of balance there for themselves, yeah.
00:31:46.048 --> 00:31:46.588
Yeah, I like
00:31:47.351 --> 00:31:47.550
that.
00:31:47.971 --> 00:32:03.195
So, you know, in terms of, you've kind of alluded to this a little bit throughout our conversation, but, you know, let's just say a client comes to you, you know, the the woman whose husband so wisely, you know, said you should check out Daisy's work.
00:32:03.516 --> 00:32:10.372
Can you sort of walk us through what it looks like to have a session with you or multiple sessions with you over time?
00:32:11.673 --> 00:32:12.516
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
00:32:13.538 --> 00:32:16.582
Well, as I mentioned, well, I guess I'll back up a little bit.
00:32:17.061 --> 00:32:23.930
You know, one thing that I've found people get a lot out of before we've even met and I do everything remotely.
00:32:24.009 --> 00:32:35.563
So, you know, we're meeting on zoom, but I send this long intake questionnaire with lots of questions about more about how you want to feel almost than how you want to look.
00:32:35.884 --> 00:32:45.340
And I get feedback from people that they have awarenesses that they didn't have before just by going through that and answering those questions.
00:32:47.074 --> 00:32:59.285
And then a piece of that work is that pre-work is creating a Pinterest board kind of in the way that I mentioned before, where we're really trying to focus on the clothes and not censoring yourself based on what you think would look good on you.
00:32:59.325 --> 00:33:05.230
And so when we first meet, that's that first session that I mentioned earlier, I call it your style story.
00:33:05.250 --> 00:33:07.932
And so we kind of, we really go back.
00:33:08.152 --> 00:33:12.355
It's amazing how many people did feel free to wear whatever they wanted as children.
00:33:12.415 --> 00:33:18.540
And then, like you said, like gradually the kind of restrictions get placed on them more and more and more.
00:33:18.580 --> 00:33:21.564
But yeah, we go back to childhood.
00:33:21.624 --> 00:33:22.704
We talk about all of that.
00:33:22.744 --> 00:33:34.496
And then at the end of that session, we will take a look at their Pinterest board and kind of come up with some words or phrases to really describe their style that they can just have it as a guide.
00:33:34.536 --> 00:33:38.779
In the second session, when I work with them, we do a closet edit.
00:33:39.681 --> 00:33:49.352
And we're really working to make sure that everything they have in their closet, or at least everything that's front and center, fits today and that they like and that they can wear today.
00:33:49.392 --> 00:33:58.445
You know, we were talking earlier about how that's hard for some people, you know, to move out the clothes that no longer fit.
00:33:58.707 --> 00:34:02.893
And, you know, it's OK to hold on to them for a while if you want.
00:34:02.952 --> 00:34:05.678
I mean, that can be a grieving process and it can take time.
00:34:06.618 --> 00:34:16.085
But my biggest piece of advice is just don't have it hanging in your closet because you are going to see that stuff every day when you get dressed and it's just not helpful.
00:34:17.927 --> 00:34:20.452
In the third session, I do a shopping tutorial.
00:34:20.773 --> 00:34:25.980
And so basically I'm sharing my screen on Zoom and taking the client through the process that I use for shopping.
00:34:26.019 --> 00:34:27.922
I shop for all my clients online, obviously.
00:34:28.643 --> 00:34:38.199
And so I'm kind of just trying to teach them a very detailed, specific way of shopping as opposed to just saying, well, I need clothes for work.
00:34:38.298 --> 00:34:39.920
Let me go online and look for clothes for work.
00:34:40.610 --> 00:34:42.476
And you have the entire internet.
00:34:42.898 --> 00:34:44.001
That's too overwhelming.
00:34:44.041 --> 00:34:46.871
You really have to kind of filter things down.
00:34:46.891 --> 00:34:50.483
At that point, then I'll do some personal shopping for a client.
00:34:51.246 --> 00:34:52.309
I will usually...
00:34:52.833 --> 00:34:55.777
choose 40 or 50 items for them to try.
00:34:55.797 --> 00:34:57.280
They order them.
00:34:57.300 --> 00:35:11.579
We have a joint try on session where they're trying on the clothes and I'm kind of that, hopefully I'm a grounding presence for them and reminding them of what's important, you know, in these, you know, when you're trying on things.
00:35:12.898 --> 00:35:21.364
And yeah, and then we have an integration session, a last session where we kind of talked about where we started and where we are and how to kind of continue that going forward.
00:35:21.766 --> 00:35:23.306
Yeah, that's so beautiful.
00:35:23.367 --> 00:35:24.987
Your work is so beautiful, Daisy.
00:35:25.028 --> 00:35:28.771
I just love having you as a resource out in this world.
00:35:30.213 --> 00:35:35.998
Just out of curiosity, these stores and places, you know, like you just said, I mean, clothes for work.
00:35:36.057 --> 00:35:37.318
Oh my gosh, where to go?
00:35:37.358 --> 00:35:50.797
Have you found stores, brands that just do a very good job falling in line with your value system that you like to recommend or that you shop for, or you use yourself for yourself.
00:35:51.202 --> 00:35:57.688
Yeah, well, I mean, I have a spreadsheet of retailers that I use when I'm shopping for clients and it has 250 retailers on it.
00:35:59.668 --> 00:36:06.675
And so, and that spreadsheet is sorted by price range and by size range and by style.
00:36:06.715 --> 00:36:13.742
And so for every client, there's going to be a different assortment of retailers that will be better for them, you know, based on all those requirements.
00:36:15.063 --> 00:36:24.014
There are a couple that I just love to recommend because I like the way you asked that, that they align with my value One is a universal standard.
00:36:24.054 --> 00:36:27.722
And so this is a company, this is a big company.
00:36:27.822 --> 00:36:30.947
You know, this is not like a little private or like a little small retailer.
00:36:31.670 --> 00:36:32.490
It's a big company.
00:36:32.652 --> 00:36:39.085
And they are one of the only brands in the world to have every item in size double zero to 40.
00:36:40.206 --> 00:36:41.469
And so, yeah.
00:36:41.697 --> 00:36:46.045
And their website is great because it shows the clothes on models of all sizes.
00:36:46.126 --> 00:36:47.809
That's really important, I find.
00:36:47.849 --> 00:36:54.481
You know, it's really hard to buy something in a size 18 when the model who's showing it is a size 2.
00:36:54.742 --> 00:36:56.346
You know, it's going to look different on you.
00:36:56.365 --> 00:36:57.809
And there's no avoiding that.
00:36:58.009 --> 00:37:00.514
And it's hard not to have that expectation.
00:37:01.074 --> 00:37:02.356
So Universal Standard is one.
00:37:03.074 --> 00:37:13.170
And then a really small brand that I love is called Elizabeth Suzanne, and she's based in Nashville and similarly has a wide range of sizes.
00:37:13.291 --> 00:37:24.490
But the way this woman has built her business is so ethical from like the way she treats the people who work for her to, you know, just everything she does.
00:37:24.650 --> 00:37:26.233
And she's very transparent about all of it.
00:37:27.436 --> 00:37:28.577
It's just a really great company.
00:37:29.186 --> 00:37:30.188
Oh, that's awesome.
00:37:30.449 --> 00:37:31.010
No, that's great.
00:37:31.030 --> 00:37:31.893
I'm going to have to check her out.
00:37:31.934 --> 00:37:35.384
That's where I'm from, so I love hearing Nashville come out.
00:37:35.664 --> 00:37:40.719
And tell us a little bit about how you found your own style.
00:37:40.780 --> 00:37:42.304
Do you feel like your style...
00:37:42.978 --> 00:37:57.349
has evolved a lot over time or do you find that you just really gravitate towards I haven't I haven't like peeled through all your subs decks because I know you take lots of photos and kind of share some of your favorite outfits and that sort of thing but like just kind of curious personal preferences
00:37:58.130 --> 00:38:14.045
yeah I'm smiling because I do a lot of podcast interviews and I don't think maybe one other person has asked me this so this is fun yeah my style has had lots of shifts over my life again I call that like your style story like what are the phases I've always I always loved clothes and fashion.
00:38:15.208 --> 00:38:23.025
When I was little, I actually grew up in Mobile, Alabama, and it was very Southern the way that the cool kids dressed.
00:38:23.204 --> 00:38:24.789
And I didn't have any of that.
00:38:25.289 --> 00:38:26.371
My parents didn't have a lot of money.
00:38:26.512 --> 00:38:28.936
And so I kind of always felt like on the.
00:38:29.378 --> 00:38:31.300
outer circles of, you know,
00:38:31.340 --> 00:38:32.481
the
00:38:32.521 --> 00:38:36.146
group with the guest jeans and the tree thorns and the, all that stuff.
00:38:36.246 --> 00:38:36.545
Yeah.
00:38:36.666 --> 00:38:40.391
So when I got to high school, I kind of started rejecting all that.
00:38:40.431 --> 00:38:43.614
It was the nineties and I went like full grunge.
00:38:44.635 --> 00:38:51.563
Actually, as I'm talking, a lot of my style phases have been resistance to what was around me.
00:38:51.583 --> 00:38:52.965
Yeah.
00:38:53.945 --> 00:39:01.521
And then, yeah, in college, again, kind of in contrast to what a lot of college kids were doing, I just, I dressed up a lot every day.
00:39:01.541 --> 00:39:03.686
So that was different.
00:39:04.047 --> 00:39:15.809
And then in my twenties, I really started thrifting a lot and really started just really going a little bit more out there with my outfits and experimenting a lot.
00:39:15.829 --> 00:39:23.893
I would really truly like look at runway shows and try and recreate some of those looks with stuff that I could find.
00:39:23.913 --> 00:39:25.635
And that was fun.
00:39:25.675 --> 00:39:29.059
And then that became too much effort and too much work.
00:39:29.099 --> 00:39:33.304
And then, you know, I wanted to, I wanted everything to be easy.
00:39:33.344 --> 00:39:40.155
And so that was my minimalist phase where I was just only wearing neutrals and linen and I loved it.
00:39:40.235 --> 00:39:40.976
I felt great.
00:39:41.016 --> 00:39:45.244
And then in the last year or so, I've been craving color.
00:39:45.606 --> 00:39:50.411
So now I'm injecting some color into that minimalist wardrobe.
00:39:50.431 --> 00:39:52.815
That's so cool.
00:39:52.875 --> 00:39:56.579
I just like, yeah, if you asked me that I wouldn't have nowhere to start.
00:39:56.981 --> 00:39:59.764
Clearly, you've got the eye and the mindset for all of this.
00:40:00.806 --> 00:40:17.177
You know, I'm also really curious about like, I it's, you know, it's just so interesting as kids, like my husband and I grew up in very different types of families and, you know, he grew up where if you were going somewhere and traveling on the airplane, like you needed to look nice and you needed to wear whatever.
00:40:17.396 --> 00:40:22.902
And, you know, and now, you know, our kids just wear whatever the heck they, you know, want to wear.
00:40:22.942 --> 00:40:25.403
I don't think we, the boys do not own a pair of jeans.
00:40:27.606 --> 00:40:31.849
It's only comfortable stuff, but like, you know, what's that like in your house?
00:40:31.909 --> 00:40:33.952
Do the boys just kind of just do whatever they want?
00:40:33.972 --> 00:40:35.235
And you're like, Absolutely.
00:40:35.335 --> 00:40:38.222
Or how does it look to be a parent and a stylist?
00:40:39.126 --> 00:40:42.114
Yeah, another really great question that I don't get asked very often.
00:40:42.235 --> 00:40:44.280
But yes, I had a very clear...
00:40:44.802 --> 00:41:17.146
conception of how i wanted uh my children to dress and that was basically like if you can picture like a little french boy in the countryside that's like how i wanted them to dress um and then it became very apparent i'd say when my older was three or four definitely by kindergarten he had very strong opinions about what he wanted to wear and what he wanted to wear was name brand athletic gear and you know under armor and uh whatever adidas all of it and That is what he has wanted to wear.
00:41:17.166 --> 00:41:19.623
I very, very rarely...
00:41:20.130 --> 00:41:21.972
make him wear anything other than that.
00:41:22.291 --> 00:41:22.632
You know?
00:41:22.652 --> 00:41:38.005
I mean, I can think of like one or two occasions where I've had him put on a pair of pants, but yeah, he's wearing, he's wearing track pants or shorts and you know, as we call them plastic shirt, you know, one of those athletic shirts every day.
00:41:38.545 --> 00:41:38.925
Totally.
00:41:38.965 --> 00:41:39.586
Yeah.
00:41:39.606 --> 00:41:44.490
I'll never forget when my oldest son came out and like a tank top of Spider-Man at the age of like five.
00:41:44.992 --> 00:41:45.952
I was like, Whoa.
00:41:46.452 --> 00:41:46.773
Yeah.
00:41:48.353 --> 00:41:56.385
It's tough because it's, It's tough because on the one hand, when they're young, you're in control of the clothes they have available to them, right?
00:41:56.405 --> 00:42:06.478
And so you can kind of control that, but you can't control what they see out in the world and they see things that they want.
00:42:06.679 --> 00:42:07.981
And yeah, I mean, because...
00:42:08.706 --> 00:42:14.376
Again, kind of a reaction to the way I grew up because I never had kind of the name brand stuff or whatever.
00:42:14.396 --> 00:42:19.003
If there's something they ask for, especially clothing wise, I always try.
00:42:19.045 --> 00:42:26.557
I will try first to find it secondhand, but I'll pretty much always get that for them because I just want them to feel comfortable.
00:42:26.914 --> 00:42:27.936
good in their clothes.
00:42:28.336 --> 00:42:28.556
Yeah.
00:42:28.617 --> 00:42:35.751
Well, that's really a lovely perspective because I will say my older two boys have never really paid much attention to that.
00:42:35.811 --> 00:42:43.887
But my youngest one who also has a lot of sensory things with clothes always has required that.
00:42:43.949 --> 00:43:00.396
And I've I've been judgmental of it, you know, I've totally been judgmental of it and try to be like, we can't always have that, you know, and those are, you know, but we have found that Kohl's has a lot of the options for a more affordable price point.
00:43:00.456 --> 00:43:07.342
So, and I, I'm learning now, like, you know, for, for also, he also has ADHD and some other things.
00:43:07.422 --> 00:43:13.726
And so it's kind of like, okay, whatever helps you to feel good in your own skin, you know, I'm, yeah.
00:43:13.766 --> 00:43:18.291
So I just love hearing you say that, you know, as a former thrifter.
00:43:20.333 --> 00:43:20.713
Oh yeah.
00:43:20.733 --> 00:43:23.577
I thrift like 99% of their stuff, especially kids clothes.
00:43:23.597 --> 00:43:26.199
You just got to think of how quickly kids grow out of things.
00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:34.969
So the amount of stuff that's out there, like I find brand new, all those name brand things secondhand, or I'll do Poshmark, you know, if there's something specific.
00:43:36.170 --> 00:43:37.211
Yeah, no, that's great.
00:43:37.793 --> 00:43:39.655
Maybe you have any success stories for me.
00:43:39.715 --> 00:43:49.048
So for any of us who do have kids with sensory and text, you know, texture stuff, Like, have you talked to a lot of adults who used to have those things and now that they don't?
00:43:49.190 --> 00:43:50.251
Like, do they grow
00:43:50.713 --> 00:43:51.014
out of this?
00:43:51.134 --> 00:43:52.036
No, no, they don't.
00:43:52.275 --> 00:43:53.038
No, they don't.
00:43:53.097 --> 00:43:53.940
I'm sorry to tell you.
00:43:53.960 --> 00:43:56.565
No, they still have them.
00:43:56.666 --> 00:43:57.547
And it's a challenge.
00:43:57.807 --> 00:43:59.110
You know, it really is a challenge.
00:43:59.170 --> 00:44:02.398
But those are the people for whom feel comfortable.
00:44:02.561 --> 00:44:04.923
you know, I always talk about like, what's the priority in your clothing?
00:44:04.963 --> 00:44:06.606
Like, is it how you appear to other people?
00:44:06.626 --> 00:44:08.166
Is it how you feel in your clothing?
00:44:08.606 --> 00:44:12.510
And for those people, the priority is how the clothing feels to the touch.
00:44:12.650 --> 00:44:15.632
And that is like absolutely the most important thing.
00:44:16.153 --> 00:44:16.474
Yeah.
00:44:16.713 --> 00:44:17.034
Yeah.
00:44:17.235 --> 00:44:18.956
No, I, I caught that.
00:44:18.976 --> 00:44:23.679
I really loved that when you first started talking about just your, for your initial questionnaire.
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:26.722
And I, I would love to see that initial questionnaire too.
00:44:27.083 --> 00:44:30.286
Is that, is that available online or do you have to just kind of sign up and get that?
00:44:30.326 --> 00:44:31.706
You kind of have to sign up to be a client
00:44:31.746 --> 00:44:31.907
first.
00:44:31.987 --> 00:44:32.367
Yeah.
00:44:32.387 --> 00:44:38.454
I just, I just send it to clients, but it's not a bad idea to maybe put in a sub stack post or something someday.
00:44:38.715 --> 00:44:38.795
Yeah,
00:44:38.835 --> 00:44:39.856
that would be really neat.
00:44:39.896 --> 00:44:46.302
I just, I think that, you know, for them to be, have some aha moments by filling that out.
00:44:46.443 --> 00:44:52.369
And then also, you know, you wanting them to know how they want to feel versus how they want to look.
00:44:52.389 --> 00:45:00.617
I mean, obviously both might matter, you know, but the feeling part is, you know, where it's at, I think in both of our lines of work.
00:45:00.757 --> 00:45:00.998
So,
00:45:01.898 --> 00:45:07.969
oh, it was, So wonderful getting the chance to just hear your perspective and learn about your work, Daisy.
00:45:08.009 --> 00:45:14.259
So tell us where people can find all of your information in case they would like to keep up with you.
00:45:14.278 --> 00:45:15.481
Yeah, for sure.
00:45:15.621 --> 00:45:21.891
So I am, my website is mindfulcloset.com and I'm at mindfulcloset on all social media.
00:45:21.911 --> 00:45:28.782
And then my sub stack is daisygillespie.substack.com and my sub stack is called unflattering.
00:45:29.442 --> 00:45:30.023
Wonderful.
00:45:30.405 --> 00:45:31.449
Thanks so much, Stacey.
00:45:31.871 --> 00:45:32.976
Thank you so much for having me.
00:45:33.177 --> 00:45:34.963
That was a super fun conversation.
00:45:35.065 --> 00:45:35.184
Thank
00:45:35.244 --> 00:45:35.405
you.
00:45:35.847 --> 00:45:36.731
It was such a pleasure.
00:00:00.194 --> 00:00:01.885
you
00:00:14.913 --> 00:00:18.957
Are you tired of the constant struggle of coming up with what's for breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
00:00:18.978 --> 00:00:22.541
Do you find yourself overwhelmed by conflicting nutrition advice?
00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:29.426
Say goodbye to the guesswork and frustration because our dietitians at McDaniel Nutrition have the perfect meal planning service for you.
00:00:29.466 --> 00:00:35.171
These custom meal plans are meticulously crafted in collaboration with you and our dietitians.
00:00:35.612 --> 00:00:39.375
And here's what you can expect from this service, a personalized assessment.
00:00:39.655 --> 00:00:45.860
We need to start with what you care about, your health goals, dietary restrictions, lifestyle factors, who you live with.
00:00:46.301 --> 00:00:48.564
Those plans will then be customized to you.
00:00:48.963 --> 00:00:53.768
Say goodbye to the one size fits all meal plans that you can find generated by AI or online.
00:00:53.810 --> 00:00:57.152
These are customized to you and your individual goals.
00:00:57.533 --> 00:01:06.403
You will have expert guidance because your registered dietitian is with you every single week through the process, making sure that your plan is perfect for you.
00:01:06.442 --> 00:01:13.570
And you'll have access to our convenient online platform where you can make changes to your meal plans at any point that you'd like.
00:01:14.150 --> 00:01:23.069
Results that you can see and feel our clients are so satisfied with these plans that they keep asking for more and wanting us to create them week after week.
00:01:23.691 --> 00:01:26.557
Ready to take the first step towards this customized meal plan?
00:01:26.957 --> 00:01:28.320
Contact us now to get started.
00:01:28.361 --> 00:01:30.344
Your taste buds and body will thank you.
00:01:31.394 --> 00:01:33.396
Welcome to the Love You More podcast.
00:01:33.575 --> 00:01:38.739
I am your host, Jennifer McDaniel, and today we have a local guest, a local St.
00:01:38.780 --> 00:01:41.302
Louisan, Daisy Gillespie.
00:01:41.582 --> 00:01:57.716
Daisy is a weight-inclusive, anti-diet personal stylist who helps her clients reject fashion rules and ideal standards of beauty imposed by the patriarchy, white supremacism, and capitalism so they can uncover their authentic style.
00:01:58.236 --> 00:02:08.687
Through their work building a functional wardrobe, Daisy's clients make a mindset shift from thinking they need to wear what's flattering to unapologetically taking up space in the world.
00:02:09.368 --> 00:02:23.103
After a lifetime of jobs and high-stress careers that didn't suit her highly sensitive introverted personality, which I feel deeply, Daisy started Mindful Closet in 2013 in an attempt to create a more emotionally sustainable lifestyle.
00:02:23.524 --> 00:02:31.632
Her work has been featured in Forbes, Real Simple, New York Magazine's The Strategist, and Lifehacker, and she is a frequent podcast guest.
00:02:31.853 --> 00:02:34.996
Daisy lives with her husband and two boys in St.
00:02:35.036 --> 00:02:36.016
Louis, Missouri.
00:02:36.056 --> 00:02:37.979
Daisy, it's so lovely to have you here.
00:02:37.998 --> 00:02:38.740
I'm
00:02:38.759 --> 00:02:39.781
happy to be here.
00:02:39.820 --> 00:02:40.461
Thank you.
00:02:40.502 --> 00:02:50.853
Yeah, we were just talking because Daisy and I have both been in a household full of kids home from school in a very snow-filled St.
00:02:50.893 --> 00:02:51.173
Louis.
00:02:51.212 --> 00:02:57.120
So we're really grateful to have all kids back at school today so we can do this without anybody pounding on our door.
00:02:57.780 --> 00:03:00.002
Yes, absolutely.
00:03:00.022 --> 00:03:02.004
It's just lovely to have have some silence.
00:03:02.485 --> 00:03:02.825
Yeah.
00:03:02.885 --> 00:03:03.306
Yeah, really.
00:03:03.466 --> 00:03:07.310
I hope you don't mind me asking you this question because you posted it on social media the other day.
00:03:07.390 --> 00:03:08.451
So I have to follow up.
00:03:08.912 --> 00:03:10.413
What happened with Fortnite?
00:03:10.454 --> 00:03:13.736
Did you decide to bring Fortnite into your house?
00:03:14.478 --> 00:03:14.979
Yeah.
00:03:15.038 --> 00:03:15.939
So interesting.
00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:16.599
Yes.
00:03:18.062 --> 00:03:27.391
So I am a really, I mean, I think, I don't know if this is part of being a highly sensitive person, but, you know, I really think very deeply about things and maybe even too much.
00:03:27.431 --> 00:03:58.062
Like I probably overthink a lot of things, but yeah, I mean, we have a tenure old whose friends have been playing fortnight for for a few years some of them um of course the game is rated 13 and up um and i don't like that there is gun violence in it in the game that's my main concern with it and then also my concern is that my son has ADHD and, you know, video games are created to be just to hook you in and kind of, you know, just get you hooked.
00:03:58.222 --> 00:04:03.926
So we decided to give it a try and we limit it to one hour a day.
00:04:03.967 --> 00:04:09.431
And it's been a few weeks and so far it's been going okay.
00:04:10.072 --> 00:04:25.507
My husband has kind of like, we've both kind of like sat with him while he played and yeah, it's, you know, with parenting I think you just, some things you have to give a little bit on and some things you have to hold the line on.
00:04:25.548 --> 00:04:29.353
And that's just kind of where we landed on this one.
00:04:29.372 --> 00:04:30.713
I don't think there's any right answer.
00:04:31.035 --> 00:04:32.375
No, no, there never is.
00:04:32.456 --> 00:04:37.021
It's just whatever comes up and what feels right for your family and you can always change your mind, right?
00:04:37.062 --> 00:04:46.353
I mean, we, my oldest also requested that this year and we just got a PS5 for the first time for Christmas, for holiday.
00:04:46.512 --> 00:04:52.110
And Um, yeah, I will say, uh, we absolutely let him play too long on it at times.
00:04:52.170 --> 00:04:57.954
And especially over the days in which we've had these snow days, we've really, he's really had some fun with it.
00:04:58.355 --> 00:05:18.678
I do love the fact that he's constantly talking out loud with another person, you know, compared to being down in a room by himself, you know, um, there just seems to be like camaraderie and, um, yeah, that part I was pleasantly surprised, um, with that piece of things, but you know, you have, you have a younger child too.
00:05:18.718 --> 00:05:20.206
And I think that was the other part with us.
00:05:20.266 --> 00:05:51.976
We were like, okay, well, if you get to have this, you know, I don't really want the other boys involved and I tried to hold that line and then you know they're so curious and they want to know and you just can't I can't be there at all times so the other ones have definitely snuck in and kind of watched and I've watched too and you know yes absolutely there's the guns and stuff that we don't care for I will say it doesn't seem to be quite as violent as I was maybe expecting it to be you know um and a bit more kind of just like like curious and strategic.
00:05:52.076 --> 00:05:56.882
And yeah, so anyway, I just, yeah, I was curious how that landed for you, Daisy.
00:05:57.523 --> 00:05:58.764
Yeah, it's tough.
00:05:59.225 --> 00:06:00.526
Yeah, it absolutely is.
00:06:00.627 --> 00:06:09.396
But so I always start with this question for our guests, what is just to hear a little bit about what self-care, you know, looks like for you.
00:06:09.416 --> 00:06:09.497
That
00:06:11.899 --> 00:06:13.341
is like the lifelong thing.
00:06:13.762 --> 00:06:15.524
you know, thing to figure out.
00:06:15.545 --> 00:06:15.805
Right.
00:06:16.747 --> 00:06:18.410
But actually I think I've done a lot of good work.
00:06:19.591 --> 00:06:25.261
I mean, for me, self-care is kind of, you know, when you were reading my bio, it was kind of reminding me of that.
00:06:25.321 --> 00:06:32.612
Like really for me, self-care is like setting up my life in a way that is not going to burn me out pretty much.
00:06:33.053 --> 00:06:43.713
And so for me, I'm extremely lucky and privileged and I am grateful for the situation that I have in which I don't work a full eight hours a day.
00:06:43.733 --> 00:06:53.055
I mean, I really have learned that even when I was working in an office, that my kind of sustained mental capacity, you know, I can go for a few hours.
00:06:53.235 --> 00:06:56.139
And then at that point, the work that I'm doing is not good.
00:06:56.160 --> 00:07:01.925
And when I was in an office, it would be kind of like, okay, I'll do some busy work, you know, because I still have to be here.
00:07:02.666 --> 00:07:05.810
But that for me is the biggest piece of self-care.
00:07:05.850 --> 00:07:23.230
And especially I'll add in like when you are a parent, for me having an hour or so to myself before they get home from school, you know, kind of in between work and kids being home is again, something I know I'm very lucky to have, but it really is self-care.
00:07:23.553 --> 00:07:25.937
Yeah, no, I love that.
00:07:25.997 --> 00:07:31.822
I love kind of the transition time of being able to just have a minute before you move into a different mode.
00:07:32.004 --> 00:07:37.149
You know, how do you, how do you kind of, what does it feel like?
00:07:37.209 --> 00:07:41.634
What does it look like when you can tell that you're needing more of that time?
00:07:41.915 --> 00:07:46.098
Like you kind of mentioned, you know, that you've got this like bandwidth and then it sort of ends.
00:07:46.158 --> 00:07:47.860
What are some of those signals for you?
00:07:49.089 --> 00:07:53.971
Do you mean in terms of like overall life stuff when I start to get close to burnout or like within a day?
00:07:54.338 --> 00:07:56.038
Yeah, within a day, you know?
00:07:56.199 --> 00:07:56.920
Yeah, yeah.
00:07:57.060 --> 00:07:57.800
Yeah,
00:07:57.841 --> 00:08:01.444
I mean, I'll just truly get to the point where I'm like, I can't think straight.
00:08:01.783 --> 00:08:02.225
You know what I mean?
00:08:02.305 --> 00:08:04.887
I'm trying to solve this problem and the solution is not coming.
00:08:04.906 --> 00:08:10.971
Or if I'm writing, you know, I do a lot of writing that, you know, I'm just stuck and things are not going anywhere.
00:08:11.153 --> 00:08:18.459
And at that point, it's just not worth it to try and push because I'll only exhaust myself further and nothing good will come out of it.
00:08:18.959 --> 00:08:19.839
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:19.899 --> 00:08:21.661
So it's very evident for you in your work.
00:08:21.862 --> 00:08:23.262
That's kind of where it really shows up.
00:08:23.343 --> 00:08:24.064
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:24.084 --> 00:08:24.303
For sure.
00:08:24.303 --> 00:08:27.310
Maybe we could start with the transition.
00:08:27.329 --> 00:08:39.054
You were in this different type of job that was requiring more from you than you were wanting, and then you transitioned into your business that you have now.
00:08:39.154 --> 00:08:41.879
Can you tell us a little bit about how that unfolded?
00:08:43.073 --> 00:08:58.662
Yeah, I feel like I'm, you know, I always feel when I speak about my own privilege, I always I feel guilty, you know, I'll be honest, you know, because I know there are so many parents out there and so many just people listening who don't have as many options as I have.
00:08:58.721 --> 00:09:01.988
So I just always really want to acknowledge that.
00:09:02.990 --> 00:09:03.070
Yeah.
00:09:03.330 --> 00:09:06.313
And so, yeah, I was working at a nonprofit.
00:09:06.573 --> 00:09:14.203
And if you've ever worked at a nonprofit, you know that you're doing three people's jobs for half of one person's pay and working a lot.
00:09:14.724 --> 00:09:24.196
And really for at least a year or two had been kind of considering a career change and really didn't know what I would do.
00:09:24.736 --> 00:09:30.964
And so I really had been talking about this with my therapist for months and months.
00:09:31.304 --> 00:09:35.033
And I've always loved fashion and clothes.
00:09:35.494 --> 00:09:38.657
But truly, I just never thought I was cool enough to work in fashion.
00:09:38.677 --> 00:09:39.138
Do you know what I mean?
00:09:39.158 --> 00:09:41.941
It just felt like a space that I couldn't fit in.
00:09:41.961 --> 00:09:43.864
I couldn't belong.
00:09:44.423 --> 00:09:48.730
And so my therapist, finally, one day she asked this question that kind of unlocked everything for me.
00:09:48.789 --> 00:09:51.732
And she said, what is it that people come to you for help with?
00:09:52.774 --> 00:09:56.602
And that had kind of always been something that people knew about me.
00:09:56.623 --> 00:10:04.196
It was a piece of my identity that I loved clothes and that, you know, you would come to me with a question about what to wear or help clean out your closet or whatever.
00:10:04.235 --> 00:10:17.086
And so that idea, just the thought that like other people maybe believed in me about this, maybe I could, have that belief in myself was really the pivot point.
00:10:17.606 --> 00:10:19.409
And then again, I was lucky enough.
00:10:19.770 --> 00:10:24.238
I'm married to a wonderful person and he said, let's take a year.
00:10:24.259 --> 00:10:27.684
Why don't you start a business and take a year and see how it goes?
00:10:28.105 --> 00:10:30.269
And I did.
00:10:30.750 --> 00:10:32.493
And this is 12 years later.
00:10:32.533 --> 00:10:34.475
Yeah, that's wonderful.
00:10:34.537 --> 00:10:37.879
And I It sounds like you also have a very good therapist.
00:10:39.783 --> 00:10:40.966
It's important.
00:10:40.985 --> 00:10:41.707
Yeah, it's important.
00:10:42.109 --> 00:10:44.916
Yeah, to spark that question and to kind of get the mind.
00:10:44.956 --> 00:10:47.621
Yeah, curious about that.
00:10:47.874 --> 00:10:50.336
piece to sort of send you off in this trajectory.
00:10:50.355 --> 00:11:14.317
And yeah, I also, regarding the privilege and, you know, even seeing yourself in this role as a stylist, but then now being able to offer it to others, you know, in a way in which making it accessible, you know, how does that look like with what you do at Mindful Closet and making it available to people who, you know, maybe we wouldn't think, oh, I couldn't afford to have a personal stylist.
00:11:14.736 --> 00:11:15.898
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
00:11:15.937 --> 00:11:17.399
I mean, that's something I think about all the time.
00:11:17.840 --> 00:11:26.549
And I'll just say upfront that since 2020, I've donated 10% of profits to Jamaa Birth Village, which is a local St.
00:11:26.590 --> 00:11:36.240
Louis midwifery clinic for Black women, because you probably know that the maternal death rate for Black women is so much higher than anyone else.
00:11:36.860 --> 00:11:44.350
And that having had two babies and kind of going through that experience, I just think that support in that area is so, so important.
00:11:44.389 --> 00:11:51.320
So that's one piece, you know, and definitely my services are expensive.
00:11:51.340 --> 00:11:56.927
Like if I were not me, and I was considering this, I don't know if I'd be able to spend the amount of money.
00:11:56.966 --> 00:12:06.123
But what I do is I have so many resources that I get constant feedback on from people saying how, how helpful they are.
00:12:06.243 --> 00:12:16.196
So, you know, I have a sub stack newsletter with, you know, any of the articles that I write with like very concrete advice about how to handle a certain situation.
00:12:16.235 --> 00:12:17.216
Those are always free.
00:12:17.236 --> 00:12:26.107
I have free downloads about how to create a capsule wardrobe and how to oh gosh, I don't even know how to pack for travel, you know?
00:12:26.128 --> 00:12:33.236
And on my Instagram, I'm, you know, I just, I give away a lot of, a lot of free advice.
00:12:33.456 --> 00:12:42.909
And so that for me is a way in which there are options, like a breadth of options from free to more expensive.
00:12:43.330 --> 00:12:45.352
Yeah, no, that's fantastic.
00:12:45.432 --> 00:12:53.062
And thank you for doing what you're doing in terms of donating a large percentage of what you do.
00:12:53.384 --> 00:12:55.086
That's fabulous.
00:12:55.166 --> 00:13:09.018
And I know that those I'm curious about how what you have done has changed in terms of how you work mostly with women.
00:13:09.038 --> 00:13:11.000
Is this 100% women that come through?
00:13:11.020 --> 00:13:12.263
You don't ever work with men.
00:13:13.524 --> 00:13:22.719
So when you first got started and you had that year that you and your husband were just like, let's play around with this and see what happens.
00:13:23.159 --> 00:13:25.663
How has Mindful Closet evolved?
00:13:25.724 --> 00:13:28.206
How have you worked with women?
00:13:28.287 --> 00:13:29.208
How has that changed?
00:13:30.049 --> 00:13:31.873
Oh, so yeah, so much.
00:13:32.914 --> 00:13:50.015
Well, initially I was really open to working with anyone and I worked with men, but I really realized pretty quickly that the piece of this whole kind of styling business that is the most really interesting to me.
00:13:50.056 --> 00:13:57.947
And I think makes the most impact is kind of the emotional piece and the mind, the mindset piece that I can help people shift.
00:13:58.068 --> 00:14:08.605
And what that is, is that I couldn't, I couldn't believe that, you know, woman after woman after woman that I worked with, everyone had the same issue.
00:14:08.784 --> 00:14:14.374
Like everyone had the same issue and it didn't matter what their body looked like, but everyone thought their body was wrong.
00:14:15.169 --> 00:14:28.519
And so when you think that about your body, when you think that it shouldn't be the way it is, that it should be the way it was in the past, or it should be some standard that we've seen on social media or TV.
00:14:29.538 --> 00:14:33.243
when you feel that way about your body, you're not able to move forward with your style.
00:14:33.583 --> 00:14:35.866
You are holding onto clothes that don't fit.
00:14:35.907 --> 00:14:39.552
You are not allowing yourself to buy clothes in the size that does fit.
00:14:40.514 --> 00:14:42.057
And that's what I saw over and over.
00:14:42.096 --> 00:14:53.013
And so that really led me to kind of educate myself on body image, on intuitive eating, on health at every size.
00:14:53.033 --> 00:14:59.062
And all of those things have just kind of contributed bits and pieces to the way that I approach this now.
00:14:59.682 --> 00:15:04.081
Yeah, so what might that look like?
00:15:04.162 --> 00:15:10.542
You know, you have the woman who comes in and, you know, opens up with something like that.
00:15:10.581 --> 00:15:12.543
Well, I'm so, you know, frustrated.
00:15:12.604 --> 00:15:17.849
Like I, you know, I used to be able to wear this size and now I just kind of, I don't know what to do with all those clothes.
00:15:17.869 --> 00:15:19.070
Should I just like keep them?
00:15:19.090 --> 00:15:20.030
Should I throw them away?
00:15:20.091 --> 00:15:23.533
I mean, I, in our practice, we have lots of conversations like that as well.
00:15:24.174 --> 00:15:28.980
You know, now we've got a lot of weight loss medications out there too, which is kind of shifting things around.
00:15:29.159 --> 00:15:33.504
So yeah, what is, how do you even get started with those conversations?
00:15:34.365 --> 00:15:41.697
Yeah, well, the, The way I think to get started is to name and acknowledge why you believe that, right?
00:15:41.717 --> 00:15:45.107
I spend my entire first session with clients.
00:15:45.207 --> 00:15:53.855
We don't really get into clothing specifics, but I want to hear what their relationship to their body and their clothes has been over the course of their life.
00:15:54.317 --> 00:16:07.788
I want to hear what messages they got from their mother, from their grandmother, from their high school friends, you know, because I want, when we get to that point of them saying, well, these clothes don't fit, but I don't want to get rid of them because maybe I'll fit back into them.
00:16:07.808 --> 00:16:13.654
I want to be able to refer back to the conversation where we said, oh, that's right.
00:16:13.715 --> 00:16:14.936
I got, that's my mom.
00:16:15.275 --> 00:16:16.837
That's what my mom said to me.
00:16:16.878 --> 00:16:26.587
And I Am I choosing to believe the same thing that she believes or am I choosing to kind of choose my own way of being in the world?
00:16:27.328 --> 00:16:40.268
And so having that foundation of knowing where those influences came from, naming them, deciding whether you want to accept them or not, that comes into play when we edit your closet or when we go shopping.
00:16:40.288 --> 00:16:41.370
Yeah.
00:16:41.389 --> 00:16:41.470
Yeah.
00:16:42.018 --> 00:16:43.879
I love that so much, Daisy.
00:16:44.100 --> 00:17:00.198
I feel like that's something that I've just recently kind of stumbled upon in terms of having the belief that our thoughts are not ours, you know, for the most part, that thoughts around any kind of diet culture related thing.
00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:11.222
You know, when we were born, we had, you know, we had this perfectly empty, perfect thing, perfect baby with nothing other than just curiosity.
00:17:11.343 --> 00:17:28.017
And then over time, you know, depending upon where we landed and what family we were into, born into, or what college we went to and who our roommates were, like over time, all of these, you know, thoughts put in us about how we should think about something.
00:17:28.136 --> 00:17:37.186
And so just to be able to separate, you know, the fact that that is just a thought that someone else is sort of, or some cult Right, yeah.
00:17:52.417 --> 00:18:18.525
you know uh probably late 60s and just feeling like she just didn't know how to eat and you know i felt like that was something that we i really wanted to go deeply with her about like your your wise self does know how to eat you know um so i just really appreciate you know um that you have that you spend a whole first session unpacking that with someone.
00:18:18.945 --> 00:18:23.551
And yeah, do you have any just kind of cool stories from a first session like that?
00:18:23.612 --> 00:18:28.838
Like what someone, you know, how they feel differently after they leave your...
00:18:29.740 --> 00:18:30.580
Yeah, I have so many.
00:18:30.840 --> 00:18:33.464
The first one that comes to mind, though, is I also have a group.
00:18:33.505 --> 00:18:34.385
So I do one-on-one work.
00:18:34.445 --> 00:18:37.711
And then one of my lower price options is group work.
00:18:38.392 --> 00:18:43.858
And I just had someone who she has been feeling so lost.
00:18:44.440 --> 00:18:45.942
Like you said, like she doesn't know what she...
00:18:46.241 --> 00:18:48.547
what she likes and I would say probably a similar age range.
00:18:49.469 --> 00:18:58.086
And I posed this question or part of what I teach in the group is to create a really specific shopping list.
00:18:58.106 --> 00:19:11.708
Like this is after you've defined your style, this is after you've edited your wardrobe, but you need to like be very concrete on what you're specifically looking for, because that's the issue when we get into shopping and over shopping, it's because you're not specific enough about what you really need.
00:19:12.769 --> 00:19:16.333
And so she asked me the question, she said, is that really possible?
00:19:16.373 --> 00:19:20.196
Is it really possible to like put a specific thing on a list and then actually find it?
00:19:20.237 --> 00:19:21.878
And I was like, yeah.
00:19:22.660 --> 00:19:28.365
And she said, I've just always, she's like, I've never, I've always settled in one way or another.
00:19:28.705 --> 00:19:41.365
And then she went away for a couple of days and then she came back and she said, I realized that that is a connection to how I've never been able to ask for exactly what I need in life.
00:19:42.527 --> 00:20:03.176
And so like the act of giving her permission to say specifically what piece of clothing that she wanted and to hold out for it all, the fit, the comfort, the style, all of those pieces to be there, she had this big shift where she's like, yeah, I've never, I've always settled basically.
00:20:04.661 --> 00:20:04.901
Wow.
00:20:06.284 --> 00:20:06.605
Yeah.
00:20:06.644 --> 00:20:15.503
I mean, how incredibly empowering to be able to see other, other ways, you know, to see other ways to live that out.
00:20:15.624 --> 00:20:21.355
And then, once you know something is true, you can't unknow that.
00:20:21.536 --> 00:20:26.105
So it's kind of like the ability to continue to show up in that way.
00:20:26.226 --> 00:20:33.662
And I'm sure that that transfers outside of choosing her wardrobe to other areas in life as well.
00:20:33.821 --> 00:20:35.605
So what beautiful work.
00:20:36.961 --> 00:20:38.025
Yeah, I mean, I love it.
00:20:38.105 --> 00:20:41.272
I have had clients leave their jobs after we work together.
00:20:41.292 --> 00:20:52.701
I really, you know, I do think there's, especially being conditioned as women in our culture, I do think that there is a lack of permission to choose things.
00:20:53.122 --> 00:20:57.566
what works for you as opposed to taking care of everyone around you.
00:20:57.586 --> 00:21:02.431
And so the way that I look at what I do is it's just one entry point.
00:21:02.510 --> 00:21:10.378
I see the way that you work with people as another entry point and they're all entry points into listening to that inner voice, right?
00:21:10.419 --> 00:21:13.061
And they're all practice in doing that.
00:21:13.221 --> 00:21:23.644
And so whether you're working on knowing what you want to eat or knowing what you want to wear or knowing how you want to move your body, those are all ways that you're getting to know that true essence, like you said.
00:21:24.066 --> 00:21:24.406
Yeah.
00:21:24.666 --> 00:21:24.946
Yeah.
00:21:25.028 --> 00:21:25.989
No, that's wonderful.
00:21:26.028 --> 00:21:30.036
How do, how have a lot of your clients found you?
00:21:30.056 --> 00:21:30.096
Oh,
00:21:31.459 --> 00:21:32.681
that's such a good question.
00:21:32.721 --> 00:21:39.813
And I'm, it's, it's shifted back and forth kind of over time.
00:21:39.833 --> 00:21:48.358
I have had most of my clients, well, currently they're mostly coming from just a search engine, optimization.
00:21:48.419 --> 00:21:49.941
So Google pretty much.
00:21:50.781 --> 00:21:51.122
Yeah.
00:21:51.162 --> 00:21:55.086
And yeah, I know.
00:21:55.106 --> 00:21:55.468
I know.
00:21:55.548 --> 00:21:58.070
I mean, I definitely, that's definitely something I've worked on.
00:21:59.492 --> 00:22:01.075
But then I also get clients through Instagram.
00:22:01.115 --> 00:22:02.537
I get clients through Substack.
00:22:02.636 --> 00:22:08.144
I've had a couple people come through TikTok, although that is kind of, you know, who knows what's going on over there anymore.
00:22:08.243 --> 00:22:14.035
But and then I have definitely had, you know, people Referrals.
00:22:14.055 --> 00:22:24.336
One thing that's been happening recently is that I have had several husbands get in touch with me and say, you know, this has been always been frustrating for my wife.
00:22:24.557 --> 00:22:29.828
And I looked and I found your website and it seems like something that she would be interested in.
00:22:30.753 --> 00:22:41.103
And I've just found that like really touching that there are people who are really seeing someone's discomfort and wanting to help them with that.
00:22:41.182 --> 00:22:46.948
And, you know, on the one hand, I don't actually don't do gift certificates at all because I did do them early on.
00:22:47.188 --> 00:22:48.750
And, you know, it's not always a welcome gift.
00:22:49.830 --> 00:22:54.094
Someone says like, here's someone to help you with your clothes.
00:22:54.153 --> 00:22:57.057
And you think to yourself, well, is there something wrong with my clothes?
00:22:57.717 --> 00:22:59.098
And so I don't do that anymore.
00:22:59.159 --> 00:23:09.554
So basically my response to these people is, you know, yeah, I'd love to work with her and let's, you know, let's talk to her about it, you know, but I don't want this to be something that's like sprung on someone.
00:23:09.814 --> 00:23:10.134
Yeah.
00:23:10.335 --> 00:23:11.955
But oh my gosh, how lovely is that?
00:23:12.016 --> 00:23:20.584
Because I can just envision, you know, we're in the closet and we, who is the person there, you know, be like, okay, how does this look on me?
00:23:20.624 --> 00:23:22.164
They never know.
00:23:22.565 --> 00:23:24.027
You know, it's like always a comedian joke.
00:23:24.067 --> 00:23:25.607
How do we answer this question?
00:23:27.209 --> 00:23:29.550
So I just, that's so, so lovely.
00:23:29.731 --> 00:23:37.239
And, but the way, like, I feel like any, if some partner brought this to my, you to my attention.
00:23:37.298 --> 00:23:45.586
And I went to your site and I saw your vibe and who you were, anything that I was like, oh, he's trying to get me, you know, that would just disappear.
00:23:46.909 --> 00:23:47.048
Yeah.
00:23:47.108 --> 00:23:53.055
I mean, I do really try and convey, you know, everywhere that this is not about me telling you what to do.
00:23:53.296 --> 00:24:00.542
This is not about me, you know, diagnosing your body as some kind of fruit and then telling you what is the most flattering for your body.
00:24:01.223 --> 00:24:04.928
This is really, I see myself as a guide to helping you uncover Yeah.
00:24:05.628 --> 00:24:06.289
Yeah, I
00:24:08.573 --> 00:24:08.792
know.
00:24:09.093 --> 00:24:09.814
That's wonderful.
00:24:09.874 --> 00:24:18.224
And I, you know, I think about just kind of going back to style and, you know, how we tend to get in.
00:24:18.244 --> 00:24:18.925
I don't know.
00:24:18.965 --> 00:24:25.374
I just sort of feel like personally that like my style is sort of just very slowly changing.
00:24:25.473 --> 00:24:46.339
shaped over time but nothing nothing grand nothing grandiose you know still kind of wear the same things to some degree do do you find that when women come and work with you that they really sort of continue down the road of the same stuff or do they do you see a lot of like oh my gosh she's wearing completely different things and expressing a different side of her
00:24:47.182 --> 00:24:53.820
yeah i see both i mean when you asked me the question before kind of about what, you know, I've seen with clients, how it's changed them.
00:24:53.861 --> 00:25:12.661
You know, another, another example that had come to mind was a woman who was in a larger body and she'd always been kind of taught by her mother to dress very conservatively and in like very tailored lines because like, you don't want to look bigger than you are and you don't want to call any attention to yourself.
00:25:13.521 --> 00:25:19.121
And as we worked together, I mean, from the start, she was, And it's just crazy.
00:25:19.161 --> 00:25:21.247
Like, cause like you said, it's there, it's there.
00:25:21.267 --> 00:25:26.180
But she loves like really Bohemian clothes.
00:25:26.220 --> 00:25:29.608
Like she loves linen and things that flow in the wind.
00:25:29.890 --> 00:25:44.108
And, you know, once we found that out, it was like she was not going back and, and yeah, she would, you would look at her and see a different person than, than you had seen before.
00:25:44.470 --> 00:25:48.056
I will say for most people, it's not that big of a shift, but that was a fun one.
00:25:48.336 --> 00:25:49.156
Yeah, totally.
00:25:49.237 --> 00:25:49.898
No, that's great.
00:25:49.919 --> 00:26:00.032
After people work with you, do you kind of notice, I'm just kind of, I'm wondering how, we don't go back into old practices.
00:26:00.093 --> 00:26:19.376
You know, I think like whether it's looking at certain things on Instagram or, you know, going to a certain place for fashion ideas, like it feels like there should be some, not things that are off, you know, we don't do this anymore, but to sort of protect ourselves from this, you know, just curious about like what that, how that
00:26:19.436 --> 00:26:19.998
might work.
00:26:20.162 --> 00:26:21.143
Yeah, I mean, definitely.
00:26:21.163 --> 00:26:26.230
I think we all need to curate our feeds very intentionally, our social media.
00:26:26.250 --> 00:26:33.838
I think any time you see an image that makes you feel bad about yourself, you should immediately unfollow.
00:26:33.858 --> 00:26:38.244
I also think it's really important.
00:26:38.285 --> 00:26:40.847
A lot of the work that I do with clients is on Pinterest.
00:26:41.909 --> 00:26:47.655
And on Pinterest, it's really important to make sure that you're seeing a diversity of bodies.
00:26:49.314 --> 00:26:55.786
Because as in most media, most of the images you're going to see are of then white women, then tall white women.
00:26:55.806 --> 00:27:05.083
And if that's not you, it's going to be very hard to make the connection between what that person's wearing and what you could wear.
00:27:05.683 --> 00:27:11.413
And I see people shut themselves down all the time because they say, They might say, oh, I like that outfit, but I can never wear that.
00:27:11.433 --> 00:27:14.779
Or I love that outfit, but it wouldn't look good on me.
00:27:15.560 --> 00:27:18.826
And so what we have to do is we kind of ignore that at first.
00:27:18.905 --> 00:27:23.854
And I really tell people to try and turn off that thinking brain and just go with like a gut instinct about the clothes.
00:27:23.953 --> 00:27:25.938
Like, let's try not to look at the body.
00:27:26.198 --> 00:27:27.760
Let's try and look at just the clothes.
00:27:28.582 --> 00:27:31.767
And we'll get a good sense of their style from that.
00:27:32.268 --> 00:27:41.728
But once we've done that, that bit of work and we have at least a phrase or some keywords we can work with about their style, then we have to start adding a diversity of bodies.
00:27:41.907 --> 00:27:45.053
And Pinterest has started to make some progress in this area.
00:27:45.093 --> 00:27:52.806
They've got a body type search filter now where you can choose a bigger body for your results when you're searching.
00:27:52.846 --> 00:28:06.923
And also it's really important, like personally, I, every few pins, I have to make sure to pin someone in a bigger body or else Pinterest is going to continue to feed me bodies that don't look like mine even.
00:28:06.963 --> 00:28:17.800
And I'm, you know, I'm, I have lots of, of thin privilege, but it's really, really important because I think just, and I'm, my previous career was in classical music.
00:28:17.881 --> 00:28:25.211
And I think about this concept of like familiarity, which is like, we all know Beethoven's music and we all know Mozart's music.
00:28:25.952 --> 00:28:27.683
And I, it's familiar to us.
00:28:27.943 --> 00:28:36.017
But if you heard a piece of classical music that was written 10 years ago, it would sound so weird to you because you haven't heard it for years and years and years.
00:28:37.138 --> 00:28:38.381
And it's the same with images.
00:28:38.421 --> 00:28:49.480
All we've seen all of our lives, you know, especially those of us who are millennials, elder millennials, you know, all we've seen are, you know, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie.
00:28:49.559 --> 00:29:00.093
And, you know, even in the age of social media, you know, there's a prevalence for that, for these ideal bodies that truly are such a small percentage of what we all actually look like.
00:29:01.214 --> 00:29:11.659
And if you can't become more familiar with a diversity of bodies, it's going to be really hard for you to be able to feel good in your clothes.
00:29:12.299 --> 00:29:13.182
Yeah.
00:29:13.346 --> 00:29:14.367
Yeah, that's so beautiful.
00:29:14.428 --> 00:29:32.155
And it just makes me think a lot of, you know, some of the younger women that come into this practice, whether they're youth athletes or they're, you know, women who have some disordered eating patterns and thinking about how much time they're spending on social media and the images that they're seeing over and over again.
00:29:32.196 --> 00:29:42.678
And you know, just maybe some more conversation around what, what does your, what do your Instagram or TikTok or social media feeds look like?
00:29:42.778 --> 00:29:54.290
I mean, And getting curious about ways that they might be able to shake that up and or not spend so much time, but that can be trickier, you know?
00:29:54.971 --> 00:29:55.211
Yeah.
00:29:55.271 --> 00:30:03.699
I mean, it's really, really tough because now not only, you know, at least Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie were human,
00:30:04.539 --> 00:30:04.799
you
00:30:04.839 --> 00:30:36.589
know, and when we would see them, there weren't so many, you know, ways to modify their body in images, but now you can't even trust that what you're seeing on social media is that person's body you know what I mean it could have been modified in so many ways that yeah I think it's really hard and honestly this is such a huge topic and you know it's it's a road we shouldn't go down right now but it is just I'm really scared that as a society we're going to forget what a woman without modifications looks like
00:30:37.130 --> 00:30:37.351
yeah
00:30:37.951 --> 00:31:04.224
yeah yeah I um I heard from a therapist the other day something just as an act to do which I found so brilliant which was to encourage my clients to create a separate Instagram account where it's only things that really feel like just totally comforting and lovely and warm, like a bunch of animal videos or nature videos.
00:31:04.265 --> 00:31:14.750
And that's only what those, you know, Instagram accounts are made up of and to have a separate, separate one, you know, and I'm always just encouraging people.
00:31:14.849 --> 00:31:24.229
you know, my clients just to check in with themselves, how they feel when they get off of it, you know, feeling better, feeling better now that you've spent some time on that.
00:31:24.288 --> 00:31:25.151
Are you feeling worse?
00:31:25.211 --> 00:31:26.294
Are you in comparison mode?
00:31:26.334 --> 00:31:27.134
Like what's happening?
00:31:27.174 --> 00:31:27.516
You know?
00:31:27.655 --> 00:31:45.446
So anyway, I just thought that was kind of an interesting suggestion by the therapist because we can't always tell, you know, uh, 17-year-old or a college kid to like get off social, but maybe we can teach them to create something and just to sort of a sense of balance there for themselves, yeah.
00:31:46.048 --> 00:31:46.588
Yeah, I like
00:31:47.351 --> 00:31:47.550
that.
00:31:47.971 --> 00:32:03.195
So, you know, in terms of, you've kind of alluded to this a little bit throughout our conversation, but, you know, let's just say a client comes to you, you know, the the woman whose husband so wisely, you know, said you should check out Daisy's work.
00:32:03.516 --> 00:32:10.372
Can you sort of walk us through what it looks like to have a session with you or multiple sessions with you over time?
00:32:11.673 --> 00:32:12.516
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
00:32:13.538 --> 00:32:16.582
Well, as I mentioned, well, I guess I'll back up a little bit.
00:32:17.061 --> 00:32:23.930
You know, one thing that I've found people get a lot out of before we've even met and I do everything remotely.
00:32:24.009 --> 00:32:35.563
So, you know, we're meeting on zoom, but I send this long intake questionnaire with lots of questions about more about how you want to feel almost than how you want to look.
00:32:35.884 --> 00:32:45.340
And I get feedback from people that they have awarenesses that they didn't have before just by going through that and answering those questions.
00:32:47.074 --> 00:32:59.285
And then a piece of that work is that pre-work is creating a Pinterest board kind of in the way that I mentioned before, where we're really trying to focus on the clothes and not censoring yourself based on what you think would look good on you.
00:32:59.325 --> 00:33:05.230
And so when we first meet, that's that first session that I mentioned earlier, I call it your style story.
00:33:05.250 --> 00:33:07.932
And so we kind of, we really go back.
00:33:08.152 --> 00:33:12.355
It's amazing how many people did feel free to wear whatever they wanted as children.
00:33:12.415 --> 00:33:18.540
And then, like you said, like gradually the kind of restrictions get placed on them more and more and more.
00:33:18.580 --> 00:33:21.564
But yeah, we go back to childhood.
00:33:21.624 --> 00:33:22.704
We talk about all of that.
00:33:22.744 --> 00:33:34.496
And then at the end of that session, we will take a look at their Pinterest board and kind of come up with some words or phrases to really describe their style that they can just have it as a guide.
00:33:34.536 --> 00:33:38.779
In the second session, when I work with them, we do a closet edit.
00:33:39.681 --> 00:33:49.352
And we're really working to make sure that everything they have in their closet, or at least everything that's front and center, fits today and that they like and that they can wear today.
00:33:49.392 --> 00:33:58.445
You know, we were talking earlier about how that's hard for some people, you know, to move out the clothes that no longer fit.
00:33:58.707 --> 00:34:02.893
And, you know, it's OK to hold on to them for a while if you want.
00:34:02.952 --> 00:34:05.678
I mean, that can be a grieving process and it can take time.
00:34:06.618 --> 00:34:16.085
But my biggest piece of advice is just don't have it hanging in your closet because you are going to see that stuff every day when you get dressed and it's just not helpful.
00:34:17.927 --> 00:34:20.452
In the third session, I do a shopping tutorial.
00:34:20.773 --> 00:34:25.980
And so basically I'm sharing my screen on Zoom and taking the client through the process that I use for shopping.
00:34:26.019 --> 00:34:27.922
I shop for all my clients online, obviously.
00:34:28.643 --> 00:34:38.199
And so I'm kind of just trying to teach them a very detailed, specific way of shopping as opposed to just saying, well, I need clothes for work.
00:34:38.298 --> 00:34:39.920
Let me go online and look for clothes for work.
00:34:40.610 --> 00:34:42.476
And you have the entire internet.
00:34:42.898 --> 00:34:44.001
That's too overwhelming.
00:34:44.041 --> 00:34:46.871
You really have to kind of filter things down.
00:34:46.891 --> 00:34:50.483
At that point, then I'll do some personal shopping for a client.
00:34:51.246 --> 00:34:52.309
I will usually...
00:34:52.833 --> 00:34:55.777
choose 40 or 50 items for them to try.
00:34:55.797 --> 00:34:57.280
They order them.
00:34:57.300 --> 00:35:11.579
We have a joint try on session where they're trying on the clothes and I'm kind of that, hopefully I'm a grounding presence for them and reminding them of what's important, you know, in these, you know, when you're trying on things.
00:35:12.898 --> 00:35:21.364
And yeah, and then we have an integration session, a last session where we kind of talked about where we started and where we are and how to kind of continue that going forward.
00:35:21.766 --> 00:35:23.306
Yeah, that's so beautiful.
00:35:23.367 --> 00:35:24.987
Your work is so beautiful, Daisy.
00:35:25.028 --> 00:35:28.771
I just love having you as a resource out in this world.
00:35:30.213 --> 00:35:35.998
Just out of curiosity, these stores and places, you know, like you just said, I mean, clothes for work.
00:35:36.057 --> 00:35:37.318
Oh my gosh, where to go?
00:35:37.358 --> 00:35:50.797
Have you found stores, brands that just do a very good job falling in line with your value system that you like to recommend or that you shop for, or you use yourself for yourself.
00:35:51.202 --> 00:35:57.688
Yeah, well, I mean, I have a spreadsheet of retailers that I use when I'm shopping for clients and it has 250 retailers on it.
00:35:59.668 --> 00:36:06.675
And so, and that spreadsheet is sorted by price range and by size range and by style.
00:36:06.715 --> 00:36:13.742
And so for every client, there's going to be a different assortment of retailers that will be better for them, you know, based on all those requirements.
00:36:15.063 --> 00:36:24.014
There are a couple that I just love to recommend because I like the way you asked that, that they align with my value One is a universal standard.
00:36:24.054 --> 00:36:27.722
And so this is a company, this is a big company.
00:36:27.822 --> 00:36:30.947
You know, this is not like a little private or like a little small retailer.
00:36:31.670 --> 00:36:32.490
It's a big company.
00:36:32.652 --> 00:36:39.085
And they are one of the only brands in the world to have every item in size double zero to 40.
00:36:40.206 --> 00:36:41.469
And so, yeah.
00:36:41.697 --> 00:36:46.045
And their website is great because it shows the clothes on models of all sizes.
00:36:46.126 --> 00:36:47.809
That's really important, I find.
00:36:47.849 --> 00:36:54.481
You know, it's really hard to buy something in a size 18 when the model who's showing it is a size 2.
00:36:54.742 --> 00:36:56.346
You know, it's going to look different on you.
00:36:56.365 --> 00:36:57.809
And there's no avoiding that.
00:36:58.009 --> 00:37:00.514
And it's hard not to have that expectation.
00:37:01.074 --> 00:37:02.356
So Universal Standard is one.
00:37:03.074 --> 00:37:13.170
And then a really small brand that I love is called Elizabeth Suzanne, and she's based in Nashville and similarly has a wide range of sizes.
00:37:13.291 --> 00:37:24.490
But the way this woman has built her business is so ethical from like the way she treats the people who work for her to, you know, just everything she does.
00:37:24.650 --> 00:37:26.233
And she's very transparent about all of it.
00:37:27.436 --> 00:37:28.577
It's just a really great company.
00:37:29.186 --> 00:37:30.188
Oh, that's awesome.
00:37:30.449 --> 00:37:31.010
No, that's great.
00:37:31.030 --> 00:37:31.893
I'm going to have to check her out.
00:37:31.934 --> 00:37:35.384
That's where I'm from, so I love hearing Nashville come out.
00:37:35.664 --> 00:37:40.719
And tell us a little bit about how you found your own style.
00:37:40.780 --> 00:37:42.304
Do you feel like your style...
00:37:42.978 --> 00:37:57.349
has evolved a lot over time or do you find that you just really gravitate towards I haven't I haven't like peeled through all your subs decks because I know you take lots of photos and kind of share some of your favorite outfits and that sort of thing but like just kind of curious personal preferences
00:37:58.130 --> 00:38:14.045
yeah I'm smiling because I do a lot of podcast interviews and I don't think maybe one other person has asked me this so this is fun yeah my style has had lots of shifts over my life again I call that like your style story like what are the phases I've always I always loved clothes and fashion.
00:38:15.208 --> 00:38:23.025
When I was little, I actually grew up in Mobile, Alabama, and it was very Southern the way that the cool kids dressed.
00:38:23.204 --> 00:38:24.789
And I didn't have any of that.
00:38:25.289 --> 00:38:26.371
My parents didn't have a lot of money.
00:38:26.512 --> 00:38:28.936
And so I kind of always felt like on the.
00:38:29.378 --> 00:38:31.300
outer circles of, you know,
00:38:31.340 --> 00:38:32.481
the
00:38:32.521 --> 00:38:36.146
group with the guest jeans and the tree thorns and the, all that stuff.
00:38:36.246 --> 00:38:36.545
Yeah.
00:38:36.666 --> 00:38:40.391
So when I got to high school, I kind of started rejecting all that.
00:38:40.431 --> 00:38:43.614
It was the nineties and I went like full grunge.
00:38:44.635 --> 00:38:51.563
Actually, as I'm talking, a lot of my style phases have been resistance to what was around me.
00:38:51.583 --> 00:38:52.965
Yeah.
00:38:53.945 --> 00:39:01.521
And then, yeah, in college, again, kind of in contrast to what a lot of college kids were doing, I just, I dressed up a lot every day.
00:39:01.541 --> 00:39:03.686
So that was different.
00:39:04.047 --> 00:39:15.809
And then in my twenties, I really started thrifting a lot and really started just really going a little bit more out there with my outfits and experimenting a lot.
00:39:15.829 --> 00:39:23.893
I would really truly like look at runway shows and try and recreate some of those looks with stuff that I could find.
00:39:23.913 --> 00:39:25.635
And that was fun.
00:39:25.675 --> 00:39:29.059
And then that became too much effort and too much work.
00:39:29.099 --> 00:39:33.304
And then, you know, I wanted to, I wanted everything to be easy.
00:39:33.344 --> 00:39:40.155
And so that was my minimalist phase where I was just only wearing neutrals and linen and I loved it.
00:39:40.235 --> 00:39:40.976
I felt great.
00:39:41.016 --> 00:39:45.244
And then in the last year or so, I've been craving color.
00:39:45.606 --> 00:39:50.411
So now I'm injecting some color into that minimalist wardrobe.
00:39:50.431 --> 00:39:52.815
That's so cool.
00:39:52.875 --> 00:39:56.579
I just like, yeah, if you asked me that I wouldn't have nowhere to start.
00:39:56.981 --> 00:39:59.764
Clearly, you've got the eye and the mindset for all of this.
00:40:00.806 --> 00:40:17.177
You know, I'm also really curious about like, I it's, you know, it's just so interesting as kids, like my husband and I grew up in very different types of families and, you know, he grew up where if you were going somewhere and traveling on the airplane, like you needed to look nice and you needed to wear whatever.
00:40:17.396 --> 00:40:22.902
And, you know, and now, you know, our kids just wear whatever the heck they, you know, want to wear.
00:40:22.942 --> 00:40:25.403
I don't think we, the boys do not own a pair of jeans.
00:40:27.606 --> 00:40:31.849
It's only comfortable stuff, but like, you know, what's that like in your house?
00:40:31.909 --> 00:40:33.952
Do the boys just kind of just do whatever they want?
00:40:33.972 --> 00:40:35.235
And you're like, Absolutely.
00:40:35.335 --> 00:40:38.222
Or how does it look to be a parent and a stylist?
00:40:39.126 --> 00:40:42.114
Yeah, another really great question that I don't get asked very often.
00:40:42.235 --> 00:40:44.280
But yes, I had a very clear...
00:40:44.802 --> 00:41:17.146
conception of how i wanted uh my children to dress and that was basically like if you can picture like a little french boy in the countryside that's like how i wanted them to dress um and then it became very apparent i'd say when my older was three or four definitely by kindergarten he had very strong opinions about what he wanted to wear and what he wanted to wear was name brand athletic gear and you know under armor and uh whatever adidas all of it and That is what he has wanted to wear.
00:41:17.166 --> 00:41:19.623
I very, very rarely...
00:41:20.130 --> 00:41:21.972
make him wear anything other than that.
00:41:22.291 --> 00:41:22.632
You know?
00:41:22.652 --> 00:41:38.005
I mean, I can think of like one or two occasions where I've had him put on a pair of pants, but yeah, he's wearing, he's wearing track pants or shorts and you know, as we call them plastic shirt, you know, one of those athletic shirts every day.
00:41:38.545 --> 00:41:38.925
Totally.
00:41:38.965 --> 00:41:39.586
Yeah.
00:41:39.606 --> 00:41:44.490
I'll never forget when my oldest son came out and like a tank top of Spider-Man at the age of like five.
00:41:44.992 --> 00:41:45.952
I was like, Whoa.
00:41:46.452 --> 00:41:46.773
Yeah.
00:41:48.353 --> 00:41:56.385
It's tough because it's, It's tough because on the one hand, when they're young, you're in control of the clothes they have available to them, right?
00:41:56.405 --> 00:42:06.478
And so you can kind of control that, but you can't control what they see out in the world and they see things that they want.
00:42:06.679 --> 00:42:07.981
And yeah, I mean, because...
00:42:08.706 --> 00:42:14.376
Again, kind of a reaction to the way I grew up because I never had kind of the name brand stuff or whatever.
00:42:14.396 --> 00:42:19.003
If there's something they ask for, especially clothing wise, I always try.
00:42:19.045 --> 00:42:26.557
I will try first to find it secondhand, but I'll pretty much always get that for them because I just want them to feel comfortable.
00:42:26.914 --> 00:42:27.936
good in their clothes.
00:42:28.336 --> 00:42:28.556
Yeah.
00:42:28.617 --> 00:42:35.751
Well, that's really a lovely perspective because I will say my older two boys have never really paid much attention to that.
00:42:35.811 --> 00:42:43.887
But my youngest one who also has a lot of sensory things with clothes always has required that.
00:42:43.949 --> 00:43:00.396
And I've I've been judgmental of it, you know, I've totally been judgmental of it and try to be like, we can't always have that, you know, and those are, you know, but we have found that Kohl's has a lot of the options for a more affordable price point.
00:43:00.456 --> 00:43:07.342
So, and I, I'm learning now, like, you know, for, for also, he also has ADHD and some other things.
00:43:07.422 --> 00:43:13.726
And so it's kind of like, okay, whatever helps you to feel good in your own skin, you know, I'm, yeah.
00:43:13.766 --> 00:43:18.291
So I just love hearing you say that, you know, as a former thrifter.
00:43:20.333 --> 00:43:20.713
Oh yeah.
00:43:20.733 --> 00:43:23.577
I thrift like 99% of their stuff, especially kids clothes.
00:43:23.597 --> 00:43:26.199
You just got to think of how quickly kids grow out of things.
00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:34.969
So the amount of stuff that's out there, like I find brand new, all those name brand things secondhand, or I'll do Poshmark, you know, if there's something specific.
00:43:36.170 --> 00:43:37.211
Yeah, no, that's great.
00:43:37.793 --> 00:43:39.655
Maybe you have any success stories for me.
00:43:39.715 --> 00:43:49.048
So for any of us who do have kids with sensory and text, you know, texture stuff, Like, have you talked to a lot of adults who used to have those things and now that they don't?
00:43:49.190 --> 00:43:50.251
Like, do they grow
00:43:50.713 --> 00:43:51.014
out of this?
00:43:51.134 --> 00:43:52.036
No, no, they don't.
00:43:52.275 --> 00:43:53.038
No, they don't.
00:43:53.097 --> 00:43:53.940
I'm sorry to tell you.
00:43:53.960 --> 00:43:56.565
No, they still have them.
00:43:56.666 --> 00:43:57.547
And it's a challenge.
00:43:57.807 --> 00:43:59.110
You know, it really is a challenge.
00:43:59.170 --> 00:44:02.398
But those are the people for whom feel comfortable.
00:44:02.561 --> 00:44:04.923
you know, I always talk about like, what's the priority in your clothing?
00:44:04.963 --> 00:44:06.606
Like, is it how you appear to other people?
00:44:06.626 --> 00:44:08.166
Is it how you feel in your clothing?
00:44:08.606 --> 00:44:12.510
And for those people, the priority is how the clothing feels to the touch.
00:44:12.650 --> 00:44:15.632
And that is like absolutely the most important thing.
00:44:16.153 --> 00:44:16.474
Yeah.
00:44:16.713 --> 00:44:17.034
Yeah.
00:44:17.235 --> 00:44:18.956
No, I, I caught that.
00:44:18.976 --> 00:44:23.679
I really loved that when you first started talking about just your, for your initial questionnaire.
00:44:23.760 --> 00:44:26.722
And I, I would love to see that initial questionnaire too.
00:44:27.083 --> 00:44:30.286
Is that, is that available online or do you have to just kind of sign up and get that?
00:44:30.326 --> 00:44:31.706
You kind of have to sign up to be a client
00:44:31.746 --> 00:44:31.907
first.
00:44:31.987 --> 00:44:32.367
Yeah.
00:44:32.387 --> 00:44:38.454
I just, I just send it to clients, but it's not a bad idea to maybe put in a sub stack post or something someday.
00:44:38.715 --> 00:44:38.795
Yeah,
00:44:38.835 --> 00:44:39.856
that would be really neat.
00:44:39.896 --> 00:44:46.302
I just, I think that, you know, for them to be, have some aha moments by filling that out.
00:44:46.443 --> 00:44:52.369
And then also, you know, you wanting them to know how they want to feel versus how they want to look.
00:44:52.389 --> 00:45:00.617
I mean, obviously both might matter, you know, but the feeling part is, you know, where it's at, I think in both of our lines of work.
00:45:00.757 --> 00:45:00.998
So,
00:45:01.898 --> 00:45:07.969
oh, it was, So wonderful getting the chance to just hear your perspective and learn about your work, Daisy.
00:45:08.009 --> 00:45:14.259
So tell us where people can find all of your information in case they would like to keep up with you.
00:45:14.278 --> 00:45:15.481
Yeah, for sure.
00:45:15.621 --> 00:45:21.891
So I am, my website is mindfulcloset.com and I'm at mindfulcloset on all social media.
00:45:21.911 --> 00:45:28.782
And then my sub stack is daisygillespie.substack.com and my sub stack is called unflattering.
00:45:29.442 --> 00:45:30.023
Wonderful.
00:45:30.405 --> 00:45:31.449
Thanks so much, Stacey.
00:45:31.871 --> 00:45:32.976
Thank you so much for having me.
00:45:33.177 --> 00:45:34.963
That was a super fun conversation.
00:45:35.065 --> 00:45:35.184
Thank
00:45:35.244 --> 00:45:35.405
you.
00:45:35.847 --> 00:45:36.731
It was such a pleasure.
