Stress

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You are now about to witness the
strength of street knowledge. You're listening to

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dad's with Swag, where your coach
Shawn has the tools to help you navigate

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some of life's ups and downs.
Let's do it. Whether you're trying to

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balance work in life, going through
a difficult time in marriage or trying to

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manifest that perfect mate, Shawn can
get you from where you are to where

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you want to be. Loving husband
and dadded two amazing girls. Your coach

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Shaun can help you Trin your dreams
into goals and make them a reality.

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No more faking change. Is kind
of start making change with the swaggy's out

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of them all. Your coach Seawan
is yeah, welcome back to another episode

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of Dad's with Swag. We're coming
to live from the swagist studios of all

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the dad's with Swag Studios. Hope
everybody is having a great week. You

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guys can hit us up on all
social media at your coach Sean. You

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can email me, Sean Shan alfonsocom. All our past episodes can be founded

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love we can get from you,
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it. Right, a review.
Tell me why I stink. But anyways,

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this week we're talking all things stress. Huh. It's the holiday season

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out here in America and stress is
just hot right now. Right like the

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holiday season brings out the stress in
us. Right, doesn't bring out the

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best in us, it brings out
the stress in us. Why is that?

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You know it. It's crazy,
because it's supposed to be a time

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of year that's filled with love and
laughter and enjoy but instead, man,

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is just it's filled with stress and
anger. People mean Mug and everybody is

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bananas. So I'm going to talk
some parental stress. I don't me.

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I have a challenge with this as
well, right, because for me it's

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like a double edged sword. One
I'm not a morning person, right,

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I'm not a morning person at all, and two kids like to drag their

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butt in the morning. Right.
How come on the weekends or on no

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school days or during the summer,
they can get up at the crack of

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dawn and they can do everything that
they need to do, but on a

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school day they have to sleep in, they eat brakfast like a turtle,

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so slow they forget to brushtrate teeth, like everything is a whole process,

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right. So for me it's like
a clash of the titans, because I'm

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not a morning person. But yet
we got to get out of the house

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right because for me, I take
both the girls to school and if I

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don't time it right, my youngest
will be late for school because there's traffic

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and driving. You know how you
know how it is. So it's like

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it's imperative that we get out of
the house at a certain time. And

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sometimes, man, the stress gets
to me, you know, and then

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you snap and you like get out
of else, let's go, let's go,

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and then you feel bad and you're
like, I'm sorry, daddy yelled,

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but come on, let's go.
So how do we deal with this

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stress, you know, how do
how do we deal with it? What

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are some tools we can learn that
can help us better manage the stressful situations

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and maybe not get into them so
easy? So I got a few things

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here that, you know, I
use that help me and he stressful situations,

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right, especially coming around to holidays, people coming to town, families

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coming to town, families coming over
for meal times, things like that.

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You know, one of the things
that helps me, and I've given this

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up long ago, is aiming for
perfection. Right, the only person who's

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perfect is Jesus. I'm not Jesus. I can't be Jesus. So why

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do I assume I could be perfect? Right, I can't be perfect.

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He's the only one that's perfect.
So you have to sometimes just sit back,

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relax and say hey, my best
is going to have to do.

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I can't be perfect. I can't
be perfect. My House can't look impeccable

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all the time. The meal isn't
going to come out always at six o'clock.

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Sometimes it might come out at six
hundred fifteen, sometimes it might be

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thirty right, but I'm doing my
best and sometimes you have to remember that

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your best is good enough. Like
if if you're trying, you're trying to

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get the kids out of the House
on time, you're trying to get to

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the office on time, you're trying
to make it the soccer practice on Tom

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you're trying to pick your kid up
from dance on time. You know you're

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trying to get the meals done on
time, you're trying to get the house

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looking on point, you're trying to
take a shower before you got to go

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to some Christmas party. You know, it's like, I did my best,

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and sometimes we have to let ourselves
know that that's okay. It doesn't

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always have to be perfect. The
house doesn't have to be spotless. The

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meal doesn't have to come out on
time. You know, you could mess

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up the gravy. It's gonna be
okay. You know the kids get one

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tardy a year. It's going to
be okay. So stop trying to aim

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for perfection, because none of us
are going to be perfect. Right,

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we could never be perfect. It's
impossible. Another thing that really helps me

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out is trying not to take things
personally. Right, back in the day,

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I used to always take it personal
that the kids were late for school.

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Right, it's like something I could
have done. I could have woke

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up earlier. The kids didn't listen
to me because x, Y and Z.

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You know anything, it can be
anything. Right, I'm stressed out

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because this person's driving slow in front
of me because they want to Piss me

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off. Right. No, it
actually has nothing to do about us.

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We're so egotistical. We think that
everything has to be about us. Right,

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we think that it's all about us. Narcissism like up the WAZOO.

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It's not about us, right.
Why do I why is it take my

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kid ten minutes to eat breakfast on
a school morning, but it only takes

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her five minutes to eat breakfast on
the weekend? I don't know. Maybe

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she's tired, maybe she don't feel
like going to school. Maybe you know

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whatever I don't. You don't know
what the answers are. Right, but

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it's definitely I know what the answer
is. Not. I know for a

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fact that my daughter's not eating slow
to Piss Dad off. Right, she's

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not eating slow to stress dad out. She's not eating slow to be late

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for school. Right. And as
soon as we start realizing that, that

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that person is not driving slow in
front of us to Piss us off,

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that the traffic accident that made the
traffic jam didn't occur to just mess up

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our day. Right, it's not
about us, it's not personal, it's

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not geared towards us. My daughter's
not picking up her toys or cleaning up

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her room before company comes over to
make me mad. Right, even though

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I've asked her five times and she
still hasn't done it. She's not doing

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it to make me mad. She's
in her own world, she's doing her

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own thing. There's probably a reason
and up to her it's probably a very

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good reason, because she knows there's
going to be consequences if she doesn't listen

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to Daddy. So for her it's
a really good reason why she's not cleaning

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up her room, even though I
asked her to five times. But one

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of the reasons definitely isn't to Piss
Dad off. Now, maybe that's going

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to change a little once the girls
get like it. If you got teenagers

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right, or like kids are a
little bit older, then yeah, there's

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probably instances where they're going to do
stuff just to Piss off mom and dad.

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Right, but it's still even though
they're doing stuff to Piss off mom

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and dad, it's still really about
them. Right, they're fighting some inner

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demon, they're fighting some develop mental
challenge that they're going through right now.

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Right their brains are all twisted in, their hormones or all raging, so

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deep down inside they're probably really not
doing it. They're doing it for something

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else. They just don't know how
to express that something else yet right.

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So it's not about us. We
got to God, to God, to

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start stop taking things personally. It's
just it's whack. It wastes too much

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time, it wastes too much energy
and no one's got time for it.

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They really don't. So this week
we're just going to do things a lot

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differently. I'm not going to be
taken the musical commercial long commercial breaks like

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I've done in the past. This
is going to be like a shorter episode,

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a quick listen, so people you
know. I'm going to try to

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get this puppy under thirty minutes,
so then people can just listen, get

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a quick little tips before you know
they get back into the holiday season.

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We're so busy during these holidays that
I not sure if all my listeners have

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an hour to dedicate to an episode. So we're you know, this is

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just going to be a shorter,
little quick hit episode. Make sure you

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check out all our other episodes on
Dad's with swagcom. Go to Itunes,

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rate review the show. Hit me
up on social media at your coach,

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Sean Man, I got, I
got. You know, I love,

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I love interacting with you guys on
social media. It's pretty cool. I

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got a message from cmbohne eighty six
last week, man, telling me how

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much you know he's a new listener
and how much he loved the show,

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and that just means so much to
me, man, it really I love

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the fact that you guys care about
this program in this platform, you know,

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for dad's by Dads, but we
got a lot of moms out there

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to listening. So hit me up. I'd Love I love interacting with you

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guys and if you guys have any
topics that you want, you know you

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want to hear about, hit me
up, man. I'm always down to

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learn about new things and talk about
new things. And if you ever want

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to be a guest on the show
and talk about anything you want, hit

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me up, man. I'd love
to have you as a guest. And

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if you can't make it into the
Dazzle Swag Studio out here in Phoenix,

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Arizona, then we could always get
you on the show via skype. There's,

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you know, this modern technology.
There's all kinds of things we can

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do. I love to get back
to charity. Sometimes I find it hard

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to just cut a big check.
I get so busy with the wife and

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kids. I'm more of a set
it and forget it kind of guy.

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That's why I love the Angel Club. I can pick the amount I want

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taken out of my checking account every
month. I never see the money,

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so I never miss the money and
I could always feel good knowing I'm giving

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00:11:09.759 --> 00:11:13.120
back every month. If you want
to join the Angel Club, just go

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00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:18.799
to Pierce Family Foundationcom. Let's just
get right back into this. Another thing

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you can do to help combat this
holiday stress, this stress. And then

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it's not even just the holidays.
For me, it could happen anytime at

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a school year right. It could
happen anytime, even in the summer while

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traveling, like stress just POPs up. Another thing that I have to remember

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all the time is to play,
right. I love to play. Just

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play anything. Play Board Games,
go outside and play tag with the kids,

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play dress up, like I remember
when the girls were so small,

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we used to play together all the
time and I loved it. It made

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me so happy. Reminiscent of my
childhood and there's something so stress relieving about

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laughter and children's laughter and having a
childlike laughter. Right. When was the

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last time you just laughed like you
were six years old? It was probably

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been a long time, but we
have to continue to do that. We

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have to remember to play with our
kids. We have to remember to act

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like children again. Right, just
because we're old and we got bills and

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we got responsibilities and we have all
these things that we got to do,

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doesn't mean that we can't continue to
play, laugh and enjoy life, right,

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because that's really what it's about.
It's about enjoyment. This this life

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we have, is about living the
best possible life we can, and life

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is a lot better when we're playing
and we're laughing and we're having a good

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time. Right. I definitely know
that, because all your burdens, all

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your stress, is all your worries, when you're in the middle of planing

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an intense kickball game, they go
away, right, they go away.

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Well, that is until the kids
start fighting or arguing about whether they're safe

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or out. Then all the stress
comes back. But there's probably going to

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be a couple good innings in there, right, you're going to get a

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couple good innings. Or you're playing
that game of monopoly and so you know

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one kid quits because they're almost out
of money. That happens, but you'll

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get a couple good turns around the
board. So play, be childlike.

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Be Childlike in your life. Another
cool thing, and I haven't done this

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for a while now and I need
to get back into it. Wife you

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man, she's been giving me the
business put on a little holiday weight.

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Well, I put the holiday weight
on a couple years ago and I've just

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kept that holiday weight on. But
exercise, exercise is so important and I

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don't do it enough myself. So
I'm you know, I'm my own worst

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enemy because I know these things in
my brain and these things that I need

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to do in these things that I
should do to live an even more blessed

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life than I have now, but
sometimes I still don't do it right.

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I have all the knowledge, I
have all the tools in my tool belt,

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but I still don't use them.
So one that works really well is

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exercise. Exercise can help so much
right because it allows you to release all

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those endorphins, all that pent up
energy and frustration. And it's not like

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the kind of energy you're thinking of, like Oh, I'm so exhausted,

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I've been working all day, I
don't have the energy to do this,

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that or the other, right,
but more like this pent up frustration energy.

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Right, it's kind of like a
boiling pot, right, like you

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got that kettle on the on the
on the stove and the waters boiling and

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then all of a sudden the whistle
starts whistling, right, and after the

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whistles whistling and you still haven't gotten
it because you halfway through that awesome season

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of like stranger things and you like, Oh, I just can't get to

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it, I can't get to it, I want to see this episode.

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I got to finish this episode.
And then after it starts whistling for a

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while then like water starts spurting out
of it, right, the steam in

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the water starts spurting out and then
it starts bubbling over. Well, that's

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like us with stress and a emotions, right, if we don't do something

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to relieve that pressure, we're going
to boil over. And I'm sure you

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can tell, right. I'm sure
you can tell when you're at a place

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where you're about to boil over,
right, where it's been so much and

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so hard and it's built up for
so long that the steam comes out right

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in the morning the kids take too
long to get ready, right, so

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boom, some steam comes out and
you yell a little right, or you

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talking a stern voice, or you
get angry, and then you're on your

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way to the office and somebody cut
you off it in traffic, right.

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So now you bubble it up even
more. And a little bit of that

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that. No, it's not just
the whistle. Now the steam in the

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water, foamy waters coming out right, and then you get home from work

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and your wife says something and then
boom, you explode, right, it

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just boils over because that's all you
could have, it's all you could handle.

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But now, if you would have
went and worked out, got some

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exercise in even in the morning,
that would have brought that boil down the

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like a stillness or even a simmer, right, and then when the kids

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aren't getting ready in the morning,
it would have just been, you know,

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from a stillness to a simmer or
from a simmer to a little little

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bubble. And then you got cut
off, right, so it never would

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have escalated all the way to the
boil over. And the same thing if

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you would have exercised after work,
then you you're starting at a better foundation,

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right, so you're not getting to
that boil over explosive energy. You

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know, you got to expel some
of that energy. You got to let

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some of that pressure off and with
exercise that's a great way to do it.

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It really is. Another great thing
to do is to stay connected with

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others. Right, staying connected with
others, being part of a tribe,

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part of a group, having some
people that you can talk to things about

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and and women do an amazing job
in this. There's probably like in any

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city at least like fifty mom's groups
going on at any given time that you

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can join. I know it.
DADS it's a little bit harder. You

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know it's a little bit harder to
do that. I know here in Arizona

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we got a Z dadscom which is
a great resource, and I know there's

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other places you know, and other
states and cities in the US. But

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even if it's not a dad's group, even if it's just like you and

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some homies just like chopping it up, maybe going to play some pickup basketball,

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then you can have you know you're
connecting with others while you're getting your

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exercise in. I know there's a
lot of guys that you know play golf

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together or join softball teams or squash
leagues or you know the list goes on

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and on and on. But find
something you're interested in, go to meet

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UPCOM, find a meet up or
group about it and then join them.

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Stay connected with people, have somebody
other than your wife and your kids and

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your co workers that you can talk
about life with. You Know Me,

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I have an amazing, you know, small group Bible study that I host

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at my house on Mondays and you
know, I stay connected with those people

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and it allows me an opportunity to
recharge my batteries, it allows me an

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opportunity to just plug in with other
people about a topic that's important to me

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and staying connected, you know,
it's so important. Fine, find those

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friends, even if you guys just
meet like once a month, you know,

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or a couple times a year or
even and then maybe you're like,

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you know what, Sean, I'm
extremely inverted. I'm not about to go

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meet some strangers that I don't know
nothing about, get marked up like,

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you know, Yada, Yada,
Yada. There's so many online parent forums,

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00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:59.759
parent chat groups, like go on
one of those and just like plug

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in, see what other parents are
talking about. You know what other kids

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00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.759
are asking for. It for Christmas
is what are the hot birthday trans like,

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00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:14.200
whatever it may be. Just stay
connected and stay plugged in. With

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00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:18.519
my family's busy schedule, we're always
looking for healthy snacks. Are Go to

263
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:22.960
snacks. Are Are xbars. They're
high quality and made with real ingredients and

264
00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:26.160
a label. Even I can read
enough about what's in our xbars. I

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00:19:26.200 --> 00:19:30.240
really love what's not in them.
No added sugar, no gluten, no

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00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:36.119
soy, dairy or any of that
bad crap. With Bell's crazy dance company

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00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:40.839
schedule, I always make sure she
has her favorite coconut chocolate ur Xbar and

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00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:45.920
her dance bag for AVA mixed berries
her go to school snack and they must

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00:19:45.960 --> 00:19:49.160
have in her acting bag in case
she gets hungry. Wife gets them at

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00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:53.519
the Madison Improvement Club when she needs
a little something, something before spin class.

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00:19:53.720 --> 00:20:00.279
Check them out at target for yourself
or go to our xbarcom forward Swag

272
00:20:00.279 --> 00:20:06.359
and save twenty five percent once again. That's our xbarcom forward swag for your

273
00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:10.119
twenty five percent off. And I
was just at fries the other day,

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00:20:10.200 --> 00:20:14.319
man, and you know, I
was doing some grocery shopping and I got

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00:20:14.400 --> 00:20:17.920
hungry in the middle of my grocery
shopping and I was walking down an aisle

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00:20:17.960 --> 00:20:19.799
and I saw to our xbars right
there. I like I might get one

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00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:23.039
of these puppies. Grabbed me and
r x bar just's eight it while I

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00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:26.559
was shopping around, got rid of
that angry feeling and then just get,

279
00:20:26.640 --> 00:20:29.759
you know, gave the lady to
rapper. I'm like a thoughtis on the

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00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:34.119
bill, but our xbars man hit
them up. They're good family, Yummy,

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00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:41.039
yummy. Another important strategy is relaxation, right. You can't just will

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00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:45.079
stress away, you can't just be
like stress, please, please, please,

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00:20:45.160 --> 00:20:48.759
please, go away, because it's
not going to write. You have

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to do something. You have to
have stragedies, things that you can do

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00:20:55.680 --> 00:21:00.000
that will really help our listen to
music. For me, listening to music

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is like the a number one stress
reliever. If I'm ever super stressed,

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I just go in my office.
You know, I got a nice old

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00:21:11.400 --> 00:21:18.200
school turntable. I throw on some
blues, some jazz and I just chill

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00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:22.720
and and listen to some music and
the stress just melts away right and then

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00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:26.519
even if I if I, if
I'm not in the environment tour, I

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can have that set up. Man, I just throw my ear buds in

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00:21:30.200 --> 00:21:34.839
though, something on the phone and
whether it's like smooth jazz or Nwa like

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it just the music just melts the
stress away. Another thing that I use

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00:21:44.920 --> 00:21:49.000
all the time is this APP on
my phone. It's called the insight timer

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and it's a meditation APP and I
meditate every night, and the cool thing

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00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:57.039
I like about this one is there's
like a whole bunch. First of all,

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00:21:57.200 --> 00:22:00.960
the number one thing I like about
is it's free. Other than that,

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00:22:00.559 --> 00:22:06.160
there's all kinds of different meditations you
can do and they're all time like.

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00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:10.160
You can be like, all right, I'm having a really stressful time

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00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:14.839
right now, I need two minutes
to just decompress. Right, go to

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the bathroom, throwing some earbuds,
take pick a two minute guided meditation and

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00:22:19.240 --> 00:22:23.200
it'll be a two minute meditation right. Or say you got like you know

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you really have a lot of time
and you want to do a longer one.

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00:22:26.119 --> 00:22:30.920
They have fifteen minute, thirty minute, one hour like, and you

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00:22:30.960 --> 00:22:34.400
could build it up. or You
could even just put on this timer and

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you can say all right, timer
set for forty five minutes, and then

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00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:42.400
you could do your own meditation.
It's not a guided meditation, and then

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00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:47.279
when you're forty five minutes are up, it'll start playing this soft, you

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know, music or gongs or whatever, you pick, whatever sound you want

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to come out of it. So
that's a cool APP because meditating really clears

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the mind. Right, exercise,
release is all that extra energy, all

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00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:04.799
that pent up bubbles, right,
but meditation, man, really just puts

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00:23:04.920 --> 00:23:11.599
everything at ease and at peace and
it really allows you to step outside of

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yourself and see that this bs doesn't
mean nothing. Right like this, the

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00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:22.559
person that cut you off doesn't really
mean anything in the grand scheme of things,

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00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:27.400
and it's that meditating that, you
know, helps you really focus on

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and listen to God. You know, it's funny because the people ask me,

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right, because you know, everybody
knows I love Jesus, right,

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he's my Homie, and people always
ask me, you know, what's the

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difference between prayer and meditation? Right, because I do both. I usually

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00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:48.119
pray in the morning and I meditate
at night. And when people and I

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00:23:48.119 --> 00:23:51.400
don't know if this is like the
real answer or like if there's a biblical

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00:23:51.480 --> 00:23:53.960
answer or whatnot, but this is
the answer for me, this is how

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I define it for myself and for
my life. Right when when I pray,

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that's when I talk to Jesus,
right. That's when I tell Jesus

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00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:08.039
what's up, what's going on in
my life, things that I'd like him

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00:24:08.119 --> 00:24:12.880
to do for me or help me
with, or challenges in my life that

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I'd like him to take over for
me. And when I meditate, that's

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00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:22.160
when I listened for his answers,
right. That's when I listened for his

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00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:25.920
guidance. That's when I listen to
what he has to say to me.

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So when for my prayers, that's
when I'm talking, and my meditating,

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that's when I'm listening, because it's
got to be a two way conversation,

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00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:40.720
right. Another cool thing you could
do to have some of these relaxation strategies

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00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:44.799
is writ in a journal. Right, keep a journal. For me,

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00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:49.240
journaling doesn't really work because, excuse
me, I'm not a good journalist,

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00:24:49.559 --> 00:24:55.640
I don't like writing, I can't
read my own writing. So to me,

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00:24:55.839 --> 00:25:00.519
journaling doesn't really help much because it's
just boring and I've never really enjoyed

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00:25:00.599 --> 00:25:07.480
it. But for some people it
helps a lot. They say adult coloring

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00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:11.279
books really help destress you, and
this kind of incorporates back to the play.

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00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:15.160
I don't have any adult coloring but
I don't even know what an adult

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00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:18.000
coloring book is, but I know
that my kids have coloring books and I

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00:25:18.119 --> 00:25:22.079
know that I love coloring in them
and I know that when I color in

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00:25:22.119 --> 00:25:26.519
my kids coloring books I feel less
stressed and I never really thought about that

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00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:30.799
before until I was doing some research
on this episode and I read about this

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00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:36.279
adult coloring book stuff and I'm like
hmm, all right, and then I

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00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:38.079
started thinking. I'm like, you
know what, every time I'm coloring I'm

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00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:42.240
less stressed. When I'm at a
restaurant and they got the kids menus and

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00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:45.200
one of my kids isn't using their
kids men use and I start coloring on

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00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:49.079
it, I seem to be a
lot less stressed at that dinner outing.

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Then I typically am reading. Now
this one I do enjoy doing, you

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00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:56.640
know. I try to do that. I'm on that like six books a

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00:25:56.720 --> 00:26:00.400
year plan that I try to do. I know a lot of people are

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00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:03.559
like a book a month or a
book a week, you know, but

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00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:07.640
I couldn't. I try to do
a book, a book a month many,

355
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:10.440
many years ago and it just didn't
work out. So that what I

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00:26:10.519 --> 00:26:14.559
did was I did a book a
quarter and then now I've jumped that up.

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00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:18.440
So basically, six books of years
what I do now, and I

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00:26:18.599 --> 00:26:22.240
like reading. I stink at it
and I forget a lot of things that

359
00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:26.920
I read, but I really enjoy
it. I enjoyed this carving out that

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00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:30.559
time that's just for me, right, those moments that are just for me,

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00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:34.240
that I can sit down, you
know, poor glass suburban and get

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00:26:34.319 --> 00:26:37.519
into a good book. Another thing
you could do is take a walk,

363
00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:42.279
right, walking around the block,
walking around your house, like just going

364
00:26:42.319 --> 00:26:45.920
out for a nice walk, get
some fresh air, going to backyard,

365
00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:51.079
walk around, you know, just
get out there and get some fresh air

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00:26:51.160 --> 00:26:55.519
and just get your blood flowing and
your body moving. That's another great way

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00:26:56.200 --> 00:27:00.079
to relieve a lot of stress.
And some people people say plant a garden.

368
00:27:00.319 --> 00:27:03.240
Now I want to get into this
gardening business right. I want to.

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00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:06.480
I want to see what this is
all about. I don't know if

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00:27:06.519 --> 00:27:10.720
I'd be a good gardener, but
wifey and I here have you know,

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00:27:10.839 --> 00:27:12.119
there's a part of the house where
we're like man, we should plant like

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00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:17.359
an outside box gardens and stuff like
that, like raised bed gardens, and

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00:27:17.759 --> 00:27:19.480
my and wife he's got this buddy, you know, that's what he does

374
00:27:19.559 --> 00:27:22.119
for a living and stuff. So
we had him come over but man,

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00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:26.440
it seems like a lot of work. I don't know if it would alleviate

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00:27:26.599 --> 00:27:30.559
stress in my life or add stress
to my life. I'm not sure yet,

377
00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:34.160
but a lot of people say that
gardening release relieves a lot of stress,

378
00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:37.599
and I know my grandma man,
she used to love to garden and

379
00:27:37.799 --> 00:27:42.119
she had her rose bushes and like
all of her gardens and stuff like that,

380
00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:47.440
and I'd love to have some rose
bushes out here in Arizona and have

381
00:27:47.599 --> 00:27:49.759
some nice gardens and stuff like that. I just I don't know if I

382
00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:56.319
have the patients to tend to a
garden right but maybe with time and with

383
00:27:56.519 --> 00:28:00.039
age and you know, you gain
more of that patience, but right now

384
00:28:00.079 --> 00:28:03.400
I don't know if the gardens for
me. However, I do think it'd

385
00:28:03.400 --> 00:28:07.799
be dope to be able to plant
some stuff in a garden then go back

386
00:28:07.880 --> 00:28:11.759
a couple months later and then eat
that stuff that you just planted, like

387
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:15.000
chopping me all up out of it, like being some pots and just make

388
00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:18.039
it happen. I think that'd be
pretty cool and I'd like to plant some

389
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:22.160
roses because I did always enjoy grandma
teas roses. I think that'd be kind

390
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:27.759
of cool to in memory of her. Now this one, I'm saying I'm

391
00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:32.119
kind of saving the best for last. Right, I'm kind of saving the

392
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:38.319
best for last because sometimes the stress
just gets so big and so unmanageable and

393
00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:41.079
you know, you're probably at the
point of the episode where you're like,

394
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:47.359
dude, no amount of exercise is
going to alleviate my stress. No amount

395
00:28:47.400 --> 00:28:49.839
of exercise is going to alleviate,
you know, the stress of living pay

396
00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:55.000
check to paycheck, or the fact
that my electricity just got shut off or

397
00:28:55.079 --> 00:28:59.480
the effect that you know, I'm
I'm behind on my mortgage, or I

398
00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:02.680
didn't get that job I wanted,
or my kids are, you know,

399
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:07.359
buck crazy, or me and wife, he's fighting. No amount of connecting

400
00:29:07.440 --> 00:29:10.640
with others is going to help any
of that stuff. No, no amount

401
00:29:10.680 --> 00:29:14.400
of reading or doing yoga or meditating
or praying is going to do that.

402
00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:18.039
Right your you might be at that
level and you're like, none of that

403
00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:22.000
Shit you've been talking about is going
to help with my stress, with this

404
00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:26.440
stress, because this is the most
stressful of stresses that stress has ever seen.

405
00:29:26.880 --> 00:29:30.640
There's not even a stress test that
can measure the amount of stress I

406
00:29:30.680 --> 00:29:33.599
got going on right now. Sean, right, that's what you might be

407
00:29:33.720 --> 00:29:38.960
thinking. So what I would suggest
for you is to ask for help.

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00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:44.759
Just ask for help right. Ask
for help. Go see a professional,

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00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:49.279
whether that's a therapist, whether that's
a life coach, whether you know it's

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00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:53.759
anybody that deals with stress in a
professional manner. Like go ask for some

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00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:59.519
help and sit down and talk to
somebody and if you can't find somebody to

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00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:02.519
talk to, hit me up.
I'd be more and happy to talk with

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00:30:02.640 --> 00:30:07.440
you right because if you're at that
level where you're calling bs on all these

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00:30:07.519 --> 00:30:11.119
other things that I've listed and you're
saying there's no way that any of that

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00:30:11.240 --> 00:30:15.240
stuff can help with my stress,
because my stress is the ultimate stress,

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00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:19.039
then you need to get some help. You need to get some professional help,

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00:30:19.079 --> 00:30:22.240
and it's ain't a joke. I'm
not clowning on you, because mental

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health is probably the most important thing
in the entire world and if everybody had

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00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:32.480
a stronger sense of mental health,
this world would be a much better place.

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00:30:33.400 --> 00:30:34.880
And it doesn't cost money. Don't
be like, Oh, I'm broke

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00:30:34.920 --> 00:30:37.920
as a joke, because there's a
lot of people out there that will listen

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00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:41.759
to you and help you for free. I will listen to you and help

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00:30:41.839 --> 00:30:45.799
you for free. There's clergy people
out there that will listen to you and

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00:30:45.960 --> 00:30:49.519
help you for free, right.
And I don't know about a lot of

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00:30:49.640 --> 00:30:55.160
therapists and stuff like that, but
I would probably be like eighty percent sure

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00:30:56.000 --> 00:30:59.519
that, if you was really in
a pickle and you went to a therapist

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00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:02.519
and you're like look, all I
need is fifteen minutes of your time,

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00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:07.559
because this is how low I am, that they'd be willing to listen for

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00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:11.920
fifteen minutes. So ask for help, but you got to get off your

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00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:15.640
ass and you got to go make
the ask. Right. You can't just

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00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:19.319
sit there in your living room,
in your office, in your car,

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00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:23.640
wherever you're at, listening to this
show and talk about how bad things are

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00:31:25.000 --> 00:31:27.640
if you're not willing to take some
action, if you're not willing to get

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00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:30.599
off your butt and go ask for
the help, or if you're not willing

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00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:34.400
to get off your butt and do
to exercise or get on your butt and

436
00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:38.519
do some meditation. But if it's
gotten so bad that none of those things

437
00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:41.680
are going to work, then you
got to go ask for the help,

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00:31:42.079 --> 00:31:45.359
but you got to do it right, or you can just continue to live

439
00:31:45.440 --> 00:31:49.400
in a stress life, this life
that's constant stress, constant boil over,

440
00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:55.720
constant short fuse. Right, if
you and there's some people that say which

441
00:31:56.000 --> 00:31:57.599
I like, it amazes me because
there's a lot of people out there that

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00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:06.160
say they enjoy living in that stressful
time, not stressful part of life.

443
00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:08.160
They say, Oh, I accomplish
so much more, Oh, I'm so

444
00:32:08.319 --> 00:32:14.359
much more productive when I'm stressed.
Oh, I do think so much faster

445
00:32:14.440 --> 00:32:19.039
when I wait till the last minute
and I'm stressed out about it. Yeah,

446
00:32:19.160 --> 00:32:21.559
you might do things faster, but
you're not going to do them better

447
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:25.960
and you're not going to have as
much enjoyment and then the end result isn't

448
00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:30.240
going to be as good and you're
probably not going to be as happy with

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00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:37.839
the experience as if you distressed a
little. Right, distressed, come back

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00:32:37.960 --> 00:32:44.240
in, get back inside yourself.
This life is meant to be enjoyed.

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00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:51.039
Let's make sure we enjoy it.
Enjoy it with each other, enjoy with

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00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:55.880
our friends. Our families are communities. Get out there and exercise, play

453
00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:05.720
with your kids' stop taking shit personally, because it's not about you and nobody

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00:33:05.799 --> 00:33:09.119
can be perfect. But Jesus himself. So just get out there and do

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00:33:09.319 --> 00:33:32.039
your best. We out. Thanks
for listening to DAD's sweat. Check out

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00:33:32.119 --> 00:33:37.880
new episodes every Thursday or go to
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