OM DENNE EPISODE
We reflect on how the world has changed since our original 2018 conversation (Ep. 31 of the Peacebuilding Podcast), and consider the intensifying global challenges we face alongside powerful reasons for hope: the growing influence of Indigenous wisdom, deeper understanding of trauma, the rise of renewable energy, and increasing awareness of the systems of patriarchy that shape our lives and institutions.
Drawing on decades of experience negotiating with political leaders, military officials, and communities affected by violence, Scilla shares practical tools for navigating conflict with clarity and presence. She explains why staying grounded through the breath and listening deeply enough to truly reflect what others are saying can transform even the most difficult conversations. A remarkable story from a meeting with a Chinese military general in Beijing reveals the surprising power of empathic listening to shift hostility into genuine dialogue.
We also explore the difference between collaborative and competitive negotiation, why listening for underlying needs is more effective than arguing over positions, how anger can reveal what we care most about, and the essential role women have played in peacebuilding—from Northern Ireland to the Greenham Common peace movement. This conversation is an invitation to see conflict not as something to avoid, but as an opportunity for connection, creativity, and lasting change.
More from Scilla:
Website: https://scillaelworthy.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/scilla-elworthy-b79244161/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scilla_elworthy/
TED Talks: https://www.ted.com/speakers/scilla_elworthy
More from Susan Coleman:
Website: https://www.susancoleman.global/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susanwcoleman/
Substack: https://substack.com/@susancolemanglobal
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanwcoleman
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susancolemanglobal
Purchase the book, Collaborative Hardball: Using the Power of a New Negotiation as Women to Change the World https://a.co/d/08AWQWsC
Episode Chapters:
00:00 Welcome and Setup
00:51 Why Conflict Matters
02:53 Meet Scilla Elworthy
04:27 Host Background and Roots
07:54 Eight Years Later
09:08 Bleak Trends and Patriarchy
11:03 Signs of Hope and Change
13:53 Women and Conflict Skills
16:29 Breathe for Authority
17:25 Listen to Disarm Bullying
18:39 Beijing General Story
21:49 Great Hall Arrival Twist
23:01 Embodied Presence in Conflict
23:50 Cake and Aftermath
24:14 Humanizing the Other
24:38 Listening Without Overlistening
25:26 Reflecting Back in Conflict
27:18 Needs Over Positions
29:45 Women as Peacebuilders
30:59 Stories of Women Stopping Wars
34:09 Courage to Speak Up
36:31 Sisterhood and Self Belief
41:35 Heart Led Courage Practice
42:56 Closing and Next Steps
Produced by: Rome Esmaili
