Andy Hahn, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Founder of Life Centered Therapy and Guided Self Healing, author The One Hour Miracle

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Welcome back to Alliances Heroes, where heroes in business aligned.
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To be part of our supercommunity and find out more
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about Alliances, visit www dot Alliances dot com.
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All right, that's right, always so much activity going on,
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and again always appreciate our previous feedback. Make sure the
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feedback I've just recently gotten is on our interview with
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the NASA Administrator. Make sure that you go to Alliances
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dot com to check out past interviews. Go ahead and
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go there and click on radio and also too, as
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you'll have the opportunity to see him at our next
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brand table at Alliances. Well, I'm very excited. You know,
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this is a very hot topic we've got speaking about
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next today, so make sure you stay tuned through the
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entire part because it is going to help you and
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that's why we do these shows. So with that, I've
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got with us doctor Andrew Hahn. He is a licensed
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clinical psychologist and founder of Life Centered Therapy and Guide
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Itself Healing. His book is The One Hour Miracle. He
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can be found at Lifecentertherapy dot com and of course
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you can get his book on Amazon, The One Hour Miracle. So, uh,
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doctor Han, I want to jump right in what I've
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been experiencing around a lot around me and pretty much
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everywhere I go, and it just I don't know if
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it's with what's going on with the world is anxiety
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and I just I feel anxiety around me. I feel
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like others being anxiety in that. So let's jump right
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in and help us understand what is anxiety.
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Anxiety is the mental component of fear basically, So fear's
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an emotion, like you know you're going to walk into
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a lines then, and anxiety is the mental component of that,
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the thoughts that come with that, and then the body
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sensations that accompany the thoughts like something terrible is going
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to happen, or I can't handle this situation or whatever.
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There are gonna be some kind of thoughts, and there
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are gonna be thoughts that you are judgmental about. It's
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not like you say, oh, I can't handle the situation
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and then let's go and have some coffee. I mean,
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it's gonna be oh my god, I can't handle the situation.
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But there's a sense of overwhelm or judgmentalism about the self.
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And then it's accompanied by physical sensations. Your heart will
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start beating faster, you might get sweaty palms, you might
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get your throat might start closing up, and so there's
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a physical component to it. But also these beliefs you
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have and you put them together and you have anxiety.
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And is this.
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Something that is I don't know, quote contagious. If someone
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around you is anxiety, does it start spreading?
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It certainly can because most of us are highly attuned
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to each other. So think about it, David. If you
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walk into a room and someone loves you, right, you
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can actually feel it in your body. If someone hates you,
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you can feel it in your body. Well, it's the
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same thing with anxiety. So you walk into a space
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and you can feel viscerally the sense of it, like
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in your gut. You can feel something's going on in
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this space. And the contagious part of it is most
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of us are not We're highly attuned to what's going
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on around us, but we're not boundaried enough to be
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able to say, I'm aware of this thing, but I'm
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not going to take it in or take it on.
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So in that way, it's contagious like anything else for sure,
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unless you have a really good immune system so to speak.
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And again we have with us doctor Andrew Hanni cop
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at Lifecentered Therapy dot com. You can get his book
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on Amazon, The One Hour Miracle. So, in regards to
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the anxiety part of it, what are does it seem
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like there's more out there now? Is it? Is it
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the anxiety over what's going on in government? Or uh,
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you know this whole thing on now? You know after COVID?
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Is there a news strain? Is it the news? What?
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What?
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What are?
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What are maybe some of the main triggers. And then
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the second part I'm going to ask you is how
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do we either ease it or avoid it? I don't
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know if you can or what can we do to help,
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you know, get over it.
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I can speak to both of those things. Well, what
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creates anxiety day? That basically is a sense of lack
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to think about it for a second. You don't get
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if you have enough of everything, why would you be anxious?
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If you have enough resources, you're not anxious. If someone
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presents you with a problem and you can say I
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have enough wisdom to solve the problem, you won't be anxious.
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So if you have enough mental resources, or enough emotional resources,
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or enough what you might say, action resources, you won't
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hit a tipping point of anxiety, and you might be stressed,
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but the stress might actually call you to action. Because
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people think stress is just a bad thing. It's not,
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you know. So you could say, well, now I'm going
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to be able to that's going to focus me. But
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when you hit a tipping point, you go over an
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edge and suddenly you're overwhelmed. Anxiety typically is about a
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kind of overwhelm, although if you can certainly be anxious
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about other things too, I mean, you can be anxious
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about things that are too bad or too much. But
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as soon as there's a two in there and you
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can't just say I can master it or handle it,
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you're anxious. And so that's why I say it's a
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question of do you have enough to handle whatever the
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situation is, whether it's you know, in terms of mental capacity,
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which is wisdom, emotional capacity which is a kind of acceptance,
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or you might say visceral capacity, which is the capacity
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to take action. And if you don't have enough, you'll
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get anxious in a way that will be debilitating. And
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as I say, then not only will you be anxious
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in terms of the visceral things about it, but you'll
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also be anxious because you'll start to believe things about
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yourself that you might know aren't true, but you'll be
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feeling them anyway. So then you get sort of like
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a like a left right combination, hit in the gut,
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the hit in the head, and they knock you out.
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What are some of the what are a couple of
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the secrets we can do when we start feeling anxious
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or this anxiety and we feel like it's really I
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mean it's almost I feel like it's almost like there's
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something in the air. It just kind of starts spreading
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it stuff.
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Well, there's there's there's what we could do as individuals,
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and there's what we could do collectively. So let's start.
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They're related, right, because you could say, well, the collective
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is a bunch of what's the collective? It's really what
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are we? We're made up of a lot of parts,
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so you could say even we're a collective. But I'll
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tell you what I think the simplest way, given the
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limitations of our time, which is you want to go
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from saying I am anxious to anxiety is being experienced,
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but it's not who I am. So the second we
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identify with it, we say I am anxious. Now that's
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our identity. And then we've got a problem because I'm
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no longer andy. I say I am indy, No I
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am anxious. My new name is I am anxious. So
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there's you lose all witnessing capacity. There's no capacity to
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sort of like step back and say, wait a second,
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can I be in relationship with this? So you want
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to get to a where you're saying I'm experiencing I'm
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aware that I'm experiencing anxiety, but it's not who I am.
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And I will tell you the easiest way to do that.
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Whenever you're feeling anxious in that moment, when you when
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an anxious meaning there's it's too much, it's too overwhelming,
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it's too bad to whatever it is in that moment,
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a sensation will be more. So, like I said, you
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might have sweaty palms, or your throat might be closing up,
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or your heart might be beating fast or whatever it is.
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But you'll notice probably your little toe is feeling fine.
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So not all of you is anxious. There's a certain part,
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and what you want to do is you want to
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give that part its own identity. So instead of saying
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I am anxious. You'll say, I'm experiencing anxiety. And when
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I'm experiencing anxiety and I scan my body, I'll notice
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heart is beating fast. Okay, so we're gonna say heart,
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heart beating fast is like you and I. It was
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born in a moment. It has a story to tell
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about why it's anxious. And if we could bring our
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attention there, something remarkable happens, which is we no longer
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unconsciously identify with it and say I am anxious. We'd
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say I'm here with you. I can even choose to
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be you, like in the same way that an actor
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could choose to be a character, a role in a
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play or a movie, where an author could create a
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character a novel, or we're really reading a novel and
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we're immersed. At the end of the day, we know
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we're not the character in the play. You know, Robert
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de Niro, no matter how good he is, at the
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end of the day, says, I'm not you know, I'm
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not whatever his name is, right right when you know
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he says, I chose to become it. And if we
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could choose to become I'm heart beating fast, then something
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remarkable happens. We no longer unconsciously identify with it and
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live out its story. It's more like we're with it
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and we say, you share your story with me, but
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I'm not you. I will be here with you, and
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I will accept you. Because what you'll notice is the
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problem around anxiety as we start to be judgmental, there's
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something wrong with But if we could let it share
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its story, then it's like we're being an unconditionally accepting
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parent who says I'm here with you, and I bear
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witness to you, and I can hold you, but I'm
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not you. And suddenly we identify with the chooser who's
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bearing witness and holding and not with that which we've chosen,
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which is little heart beating fast. So that's the key
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is to find the experience in the body, choose to
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become it, and then say I will let you share
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what you're anxious about, but I'm the one who's holding you.
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I'm not you. And if you want practice one practice,
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because there are a lot of practices that I could people,
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but if you have one practice that anybody could do,
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they could remember, find the body sensation choose to become
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it in the same way that an actor would choose
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to become a character to play and let it share
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its story while you hold it, and I guess great,
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And what happens that, which is an amazing thing, is
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something that's split off. Right. You believe you are heart
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beating fast. It's dismembered, becomes remembered, and when it becomes remembered,
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something extraordinary happens, which is heart beating fast goes away
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because it no longer has an identity, it's no longer matter.
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It becomes what it truly is, which is kind of
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like a flow. And then instead of being oh my god,
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I'm anxious, it will be you know, anxiety is here.
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So what a right?
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Excellent, excellent, and again you're watching listening to me. David Cochin,
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host of The Alliance's Hero Show. Make sure that you
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go to I'm going to share a secret with you.
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Go to elioncer dot com. That's E l I A
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n ceer dot com and in the search bar type
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in Andrew. You'll find his past episodes to there, and
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I know you're going to want to make sure you
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go there and listen. He's a licensed clinical psychologist, founder
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of Life Centered Therapy and Guide it Self Healing. His
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book is the One Hour Miracle. You can get out
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on Amazon. You can also go to his website at
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Life Centered Therapy dot com. I want to bring up
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another thing that's very important too, is what about parents
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helping to their children who are anxiety? And it's everything
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from anxiety right first day of school, test after test, final,
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anxiety of you know, who's you know? Does this girl
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like me?
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This?
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How can parents go ahead and work with their children
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to help them cope with the anxiety?
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I will tell you it's going to be one step
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removed of the same thing. So once you know the
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first trick, then you go to the second. Hear what
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is a parent's job in this case to be there
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with their child? What's the child's job to be there
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with whoever is anxious? Right? So you, as a parent,
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you could teach your child the skill which is why,
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and you can teach yourself that you can teach your child.
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And believe me, child kids love this because they love
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to tell stories. So you say, if you're a parent,
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you say, I'm here with you. You don't deny that
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they're anxious. What you want to deny is the judgmental
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they say, I'm so well, don't tell them there's nothing
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be anxious about. That's nuts, and then they're going to
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be anxious, and they're going to think that you know,
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there's something wrong with them because they're anxious.
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So now people say, don't worry, you got nothing to
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worry about.
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Yeah, now I have to worry about the fact that
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they have nothing to worry about.
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So this is a problem.
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Right. So you never, ever, in my experience, want to
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deny what the child's experience is. You want to invite
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them into a different relationship with their experience, which is
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to say, I will hold you in your experience. You
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can share anything you want. And I have a trick
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for you, which is, let's see if we can get
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you to a place where your anxiety is sharing with
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you as opposed to you are anxious. And then you
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can teach your child what I just told you, which
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is have them find the sensation in the body. And
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then you're gonna say to them, you know how you
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love to tell stories, Well, heart beating fast has a
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story to tell about what's making it anxious. Now the
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second you bring your attention to it, Susie or Jimmy
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or whatever, you're gonna be doing for it. What I'm
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doing for you. You're gonna say I'm here with you, and
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you watch what happens to your kids. They'll start it's
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like doing kind of a mindfulss meditation. You're teaching them
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in a funny way how to meditate, but in a
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very focused way about the thing that's really upsetting them.
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So they're not generically meditating, they're specifically meditating on something
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going on in their body. And then they're gonna breathe
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and they're gonna say, I'm here with you, heart beating fast,
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tell me your story. And then you say make it
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up and you say, oh my god, you don't like it,
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and they'll start telling the story, but they will no
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longer be identified with Jimmy. They'll say, oh, that was
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heart Beating's fast story. I'm with it. And you're gonna
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be as the parent with Jimmy or Susie who's being
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with it, and your job is to line up with
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them and to say I can be with you being
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with it. I'm going to hold a container for you.
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That's my job as a parent, and watch what happens.
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It'll be dare I say it. It'll seem miraculous because
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your kids will start to say, you know, I'm aware
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that I'm feeling anxious, but I'm not anxious. I'm just
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this an experience I'm having. Well, I can handle I
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can master it.
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Do you feel that there's some people that are almost
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addicted who have had so much anxiety? So, for example,
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the anxiety of am I gonna, you know, find a
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mate or something like that, they end up finding a maid,
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and then it's like the next anxiety and are they
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gonna stay with me? Am I gonna want? Am I
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going to continue to love that? And onto the next
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and the next.
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Yes. And what you'll find then is that the thing
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that they think they're anxious about is the thing that
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anxious about. So they may have a story from when
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they're very young about there's something to worry about everywhere. Okay, they're,
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you know, four years old or they're eight years old
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or something, and no one ever held them in whatever
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their story was about, like the world is an unsafe
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Let's say the world is an unsafe place and I
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don't know what I can count on in what I
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can't count on. Let's say they're running that story for
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whatever reason. Okay, then they play it out in fifty
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seven different ways. Right, they say, I don't know if
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I'll ever find a mate. If I do, we'll be
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a bad person. They'll also play it out in analogies. Why
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analogy is the same thing. You know, this thing that's
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supposed to be you know, a lovely thing called the
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flower is gonna hurt me. And I don't know if
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it's zeff Is it dangerous? Is it not dangerous? I
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can't tell in the world. I don't know if the
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world is a safe place. And they're really playing out
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the same story over and over and over again in
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all these multiple different contexts. So if you could find
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where it crystallized, right, which you could go and find
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the sensation again that they associate with. Okay, I'll never
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find a mate. Okay, I found the mate. No, he's
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gonna betray me. Okay, Well, if he doesn't betray me,
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I wish you would have betrayed me because I found
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the wrong one or something. Okay, Well, they're in some
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story someplace that they're playing out an echo off. So
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find the sensation that's associated with all these horrifically awful
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things that might happen and all this doubt. Right, say
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what happens to your boy when you're feeling this doubt
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and you're doubting the world and you're doubting yourself and
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you're doubting everything. What happens when you're experiencing, you know,
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your doubt the world and you doubt yourself, and they say,
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oh my god, I'm feeling sick to my stuff. All right,
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then you're going to say you're not feeling doubted about
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your doubt. Sick to stomach is So we're gonna say
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you are going to become sick to stomach, and we'll
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ask sick to stomach question three questions. What have you
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come to share about this doubt that the world's bad
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or dangerous and I'm Bad's gonna happen? Where are you beginning?
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And what's happening to you? And then you bring your
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attention there and one of three, one or more three
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things will happen. Either you'll suddenly be in a story,
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maybe when you're a little person, or maybe like an
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imaginal story. I don't care any story. It's it's story.
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It's not your story. You don't know it story. If
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I want to know what's going on with David, I'd say, well,
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I know what's going on with David. I asked David, well,
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you're gonna ask sick to stop think the stomach. What
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if you come to share and you have to be
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open to whatever it might say. They might say, you know,
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I'm nine years old and everybody is telling me I'm
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you know, I shouldn't trust myself. Or it might say
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I'm in the French Revolution and I thought everyone was
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there to get me, and they're about to cut off
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my head. I don't care right if they're gonna cut
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off your head.
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Though you might have that, but whatever it is, right.
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Everything you want to share, and then you ask it
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you need anything, And if it says no, I just
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need to share my story, watch what happens to their doubt.
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It will go away because they'll say I'm experiencing doubt,
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but it's not that I'm doubtful.
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It's the same process over and over and over again.
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And if you remember that one thing that every sensation,
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every time there's something that you're anxious about or judgmental about,
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you can find a sensation. And every discomfort has his
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story to share. And if you ask them their story,
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they will actually tell you.
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Excellently excellent well and doctor Han, you guide your patience
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on the path to a fuller life that's healed, to
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help them where they can experience more joy. That's a hero,
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Doctor Andrew hand On, licensed clinical psychologists and founder of
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Life Centered Therapy and Guided Self Healing. You can reach
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them at life center Therapy dot com and make sure
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that you get his book.
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Don't wait, you can get an Amazon right after this
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interview look up the One Hour Miracle again. This has
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been David Cogan with The Alliance's Hero Show coming up next.
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The co founder of Atch dot com,