Ep. 6 Final: I'm Daniela Rudolph and I'm the marriage architect. And welcome you today to the Dating Smarter podcast episode with Melissa Sossman. She is an incredible stylist. Hello. How are you, Melissa? A stylist. She helps people choose their clothing, right? To, you know, because apparently, you know, first of all, you enjoy it, right? And you're really good at it. And And I don't know how you got into it, but it's it's something that you, you know, have this high style and you want to help people bring it out what looks good on them and how to dress and elevate their style, right? Yes, 100%. I think that dress is more than just what we're wearing physically on the outside of us. It's really a part of who we are and what we're presenting in the world and a representation not just of ourselves. But of how we want to be perceived in the world and also a representation of our clea, which is really Hushems. So it's what we're bringing into the world daily. And we want people to like what they're seeing. We wanna look good. We wanna put our best foot forward. We we want people to really respect and appreciate us and it's sending a message. I respect myself, so too, you should respect me. Right. So I And and the reason I got into this was because my mom was always into fashion. and I remember even at my bot mitzvah, where all of my friends were picking out their dresses, they were going to stores. My mom used to work in the garment industry in Manhattan, and she took me to find fabric and to design my own dress. And I remember getting the sense of being able to style something the way that made me feel beautiful and custom tailor it to my vision of of what I wanted to create in terms of the the feeling of my bot mitzvah and and just the the theme of my bot mitzvah. It was it was a really incredible experience. So that kind of jump started my process and my fascination with Going to stores and picking out outfits and helping my friends to pick out outfits. And it was just always a hobby and a passion. And I remember even in high school, like I was never the cool girl. I was always like, I had friends, but I was never the cool one. But I remember even the cool, popular girls would come to me and they'd be like, Where did you get that? Where like and they would ask me my advice. And I'd always be like, Why are you coming to me? Like, I just have my own sense of style, my own sense of. Finding unique pieces here and there that, you know, tell a story, something that could tell a story to who I was and the way I imagined myself like in that day, because every day was a different story. Yeah. so that's how it started. I love that. And first of I have a feeling you were one of those curl girls and just didn't realize it. I mean, if you know how to dress, you're a cool girl, you know? And I really love this concept of what your mom taught you. It's that. you go and you create what you want to look like as opposed to, you know, when we go to this store, obviously this is an obvious story for every single person, right? You go to a store, it's a gorgeous outfit. It fits on you, but it doesn't really look good sometimes, right? Because it's not necessarily your your fit of your body, right? So it's a matter of r learning that concept that it's just because it fits, that it doesn't necessarily look good or that something can look amazing on you. And it's just a matter of learning the types of outfits to buy. Right, and how to put things together. Like I I remember even from a young age, I would always ask my mom, does this match? She would always say no, because I was like colorblind. It was something I really had to learn. I didn't know what match and what went to went together. And my mom really taught me, as well as my aunts, because my aunt, I I love her to death, but you would walk into a room and she would and she would the first thing she would say is like, Your shirt doesn't match. wow. Yeah, yeah. Like so sh so everyone had this emphasis on on the way things were brought together and detail from a very young age. so it was something I definitely learned and something that I just find s to be so fun and so exciting. And everybody has their own unique style. So also trying to figure out and like discover and really understand the psyche behind what gets somebody excited and also makes them feel good about themselves because when you walk out of the house you really want to feel good and you want to feel confident. And I I feel like like right like a second ago, right before this meeting, I was I was at the gym and I had my hat on and my sweatpants and, you know It's it's a mood. It's a mood for one moment, but then when I'm coming to speak to you about something, you know, more elevated in in my fashion sense and taste, you want to change. And we were talking about this before the meeting, that you just want to change the nuances in how you appear based on the circumstance and based on what it is you're about to do, whether it's work a work setting, a wedding setting, a date setting, which Which is what you do. Yes. Absolutely. I absolutely. And like right before we got on this chat together, I was saying how I would change four times just to make sure I got the right coloring that we're gonna be on this call together. And you know, in fact, I had just met somebody who wants to get set up and it was wearing this gorgeous top, and it was white and really, you know, bought it in a boutique, also very beautiful. And I was like, I look so washed out. I don't want to do the, you know, this episode specifically about style, with a with a you know, top that is gonna wash me out. And and I do think and I do agree, what everything you said, it's like a like a mood you want to be feeling when you're in that moment, whether you're going to a wedding or a date. And yes, we really wanna talk about dating and style because I really obviously want to give tips to everybody. Who is watching both the men and the women, not just the women. And I do think you have a lot to offer to all these people watching. okay, so there's a couple going out, right? They're going out tonight on a date. How should the couple dress? Of course, it could be different styles, and you can go into that. Okay, great. So so first of all, I wanna say that when you're when you're putting your best foot forward. Wear the thing that makes you feel the best. And it's like that go-to look when you're like, I always know I look good in this. For me, on a very personal level, it's always black because I find it to be slimming and I then I accessorize. Like I wear a brim hat, maybe not for a night date because it's more of a daytime thing, but I would accessorize with earrings, chunky bracelet, cool necklace. But it I would make it very simple because. You don't want to give you don't wanna be too audacious because you also want your personality to shine. So if you have a lot of cut like a lot, you can do color, but if you have too much going on and then a lot of personality, that could be overwhelming. So I like to go simple with something special that kind of gives you a pop, and then that allows your personality to shine more. And also it it creates a sense of like mystery also. Like what is this girl about? Nice. That's I also I also think that what you're saying is it's also making him interested in your personality. Cause I'm assuming we're talking now about the woman's dress. And because if it's, you know, he sees he's over maybe over I like h you know, popping colors as well because I think they look good with my complexion. But like Then they know you're an outgoing person enough to wear it, right? But like what you're saying is he, you know, gives them more, like you said, more mystery that they'll be interested to hear more about your personality. Yes. And also something I would highly suggest is before you go out on your date, really get your color palette red so you understand what colors look good on you because you want to like stand out, but in a way that's not like too much. I would say date three, four, five, when you're starting to get a little bit more comfortable. I just would highly suggest you don't do what my husband did. So unbeknownst to me, my husband, on every single date, he was being dressed by a friend of his in yeshiva. My husband's a Balichuva. So I th this this is relevant to the story. He had a friend, I think, who maybe modeled for men's warehouse. So he really knew how to dress. And he coached my husband before every single date on what to wear. And then on our sixth date, my husband was all excited. He showed up to the date. And I was like already hooked. I was like, I know this guy's the guy I'm gonna marry. But he showed up to the date in like this very strange bowling shirt, very baggy pants, skater shoes. I was like, What are you wearing? And he's like, Do you like it? I picked it out myself. I was like, No, what happened to the the guy? Yeah, what happened? To the guy. And at that point, I knew who he was. So it didn't really matter to me. Right. But I was thrown off because he had been coached all the way up until that point. So I don't shop for my husband, but I make recommendations. But since I started my fashion page, we have made some content together and we have gone to Zara. And people in the neighborhood have said things to him. You're so hand. Like my like No, they don't necessarily say, like some of the guys are like, wow, you look so good, David. Like, whoa, like what's different? What changed? And what is changed is he's wearing clothes that actually fit him. Right. He's wearing fitted pants, fitted shirts. Like he likes to wear usually baggy sweatshirts, baggy pants, skater type shoes. He's a very chill, like think grateful dead fish vibes. But When it comes down to it, he he's very handsome and and if he throws on things that actually fit him, that match, that fit his c his complexion, he really he stands out. He really stands out. And it's made a difference because people in my neighborhood have said, Wow, like what have you been doing differently, David? Amazing. Yeah. So that's what I and that could also help a person in business, also, like whatever profession they're in. Correct, 100%, because it makes a statement. I'm professional. I I not only am I educated and credible and know what I'm talking about, but I know how to present myself. It doesn't make someone look at you questionably like, hmm, like you're saying one thing, but I'm very confused by the way you're dressed. Like and which is funny because sometimes people will say, like, David, you're so smart. Like, I didn't know you were so educated because he would wear the baggy, pants and the very like not as sophisticated as somebody who's an educated scholar. Right. So wow, that's really fascinating. It makes so much sense to me, but it's fascinating that they've made that correlation to You know, that they said that to him and and of course it makes sense. Like somebody seems smarter when they're dressed nicely and put together. I mean look, even in in the Beitham Migdash, a co the Kohen Hagadol, he couldn't have a A a mum, a moom? A moom, a blemish. Yes. So too, when we're presenting ourselves, we don't want to show blemishes. We don't want to s show anything that we're representing Hashem in the world. Right. So we want to represent ourselves and Hashem to the the utmost degree. Right. And that and that's really how I feel. Like I feel like when I'm going out, like even if I'm insecure, and I remember like I I used to work a a bit with Rebenson Young Grace back in the day. And assist her and I did her all of her singles events. Actually, I would I would help run the events. And I remember she used to say, Melissa, even if you're not feeling it, smile. Smile and you'll become that smile. Yeah. So make it. Put it even if you're not feeling good, even if you're insecure, put on that outfit that makes you feel good and you'll start to feel good. Yes. I really believe that true. Yeah. Hundred percent true. I Live those concepts as well and teach them as well. I think it's a hundred percent it's it's wisdom for life and for everybody and for sure for the dating. And even with the phone call when they can't see you smiling, your whole conversation can change just with a hello instead of hello, right? Like it just changes the pitch of the voice. And then the other person reflects that and then they say, this person's a positive person. hi, how are you? And they would smile in response, even if they can't see each other. So it's a quite an amazing concept. And then the the conversation is positive. So a hundred percent. It uplifts the energy that your clothing can uplift the moment, the energy, the the the feeling you want to evoke. Like if you're somebody who is ready for marriage and you show up, you know, and you're not feeling your best because you've gone out, you know, with 10 guys and it hasn't worked out. And so now you're dr you're like, I'm not gonna even put on makeup, I'm not gonna even try. And you put on like your Schleppy clothes because you're just you're so finished. Right. That person's not just gonna see somebody who's finished, they're gonna feel it because of the way you present yourself. It's a whole entire package. Right. And I also think that the what you're saying is that when you dress nicely, you just feel better. And and so you're doing it for yourself. And then you present better. And then the energy is better on the date as well. So and and and one thing that people often will say, but this is me, you know, but this could be you too. Meaning it's not just like we're we're, you know, people who want to be better people in life. At least that's the way I feel. Like I'm always a growing person and trying to be a better person. Why would I want to present myself as a miserable or sad or, you know? Just getting dressed up, having an opportunity to get dressed up. We'd always have time like to get dressed up. So this is fun, you know? And just screw that. Even if like but to have that as the enjoyment of the of the date is just getting dressed up. And then if you have a nice time, awesome. Right. And and I just I think that like you don't have to change your style. Like I never changed my husband's style. I would just sometimes here and there occasionally find a shirt that I liked, and he wears it because It's like it's because I like it, you know, not necessarily because that's marriage. And that's also like a part of it is doing things. It's like halakha. We don't always understand the like all the the halachas we're doing, but we do because we want that connection with Hashem. It's like the same thing with my husband. And like sometimes I'll wear hippier things, like vibrant, crazy colors, tie-dye, because I just know he appreciates it and it creates a deeper connection. but in terms of guys going out on dates, before you go on the date, like look in the mirror, make sure you're shaven, you're you're clean, you're wearing something that is fit because you know what? Like the physical attraction, okay, that has to come naturally. Yeah. But also when you look good, it helps to create that physical attraction. When you're wearing things that fit you that aren't two sizes too big, that aren't two sizes too small. Yeah. That really just fits and looks good. Yeah. And you can style it with a belt. You could add accessories, jewelry. You could like even women who are married, like when they wear a tickle, they just wear a tickle or you know, a headscarf, wearing big earrings with it, it feels less masculine. It feels like Oftentimes when I wear a tickle or headscarf, I feel like a bald man. I always say that's my house. I feel like a bald man. But when you add funky, cool earrings, you you elevate the outfit. Yeah. You're yes, I I it's funny because when I go to the gym, I don't wear big earrings so that it doesn't get in the way. But I was going from a meeting to a walk. so I I had my earrings on and I was wearing my baseball cap, which I always wear for for exercise. And I was like, Wow, this actually looks so much better. Because it looks it look just looks less masculine. Yeah. I love. I love I love feeling like feminine and adding that feminine touch to whatever it is I do. And that's why I l also love styling people because they could create anything in the world that speaks to them. And I just get to elevate it for them. So like where do you how do you do it with people? You'd like go and take them to shops, you do it online with them, like So, okay, so I do a couple of different things. Okay, so I have a questionnaire that I give out to people to get a better sense of them. But then I also like to really meet with them in person because as you know, dating someone on paper versus meeting somebody, it changes the whole entire game. Then I get to know the person a little bit. They also send me some photos of things that they like. So I get a sense a little bit of the style, because everyone's very different, and also colors that they enjoy. based on their color palette, I often say to people, you know, you should get your colors evaluated because not just style, but like we want to make sure the right colors are are bringing out the best features in you. and then from there, I what I do is I I can make them a vision board of different outfits that I think would look good for their body, but I could use AI. I have this whole entire thing with AI where I could actually try the d outfits on them and based on their heights, based on their weight, so they can really see what it would look like on them. It's it's crazy. And then from there I can send them the links. So this is how I do it online. and send them the links to what the outfits. And obviously everybody has their price ranges. So I also find out like, what can you afford? Like I personally I like higher end just 'cause that's my style and I and there's so much more versatility when you could buy things a little bit more well made, higher style. But that doesn't mean there aren't other price points where people, you know, that's what they could afford at the time. And then I'll I'll take that into consideration and find them pieces within their budget. so that's one step. So now if somebody's in Israel or I'm I happen to be abroad and I'm in their state, I could take them shopping. There's different go-to places that I have. but I like first getting a sense for what they want so that when I'm going into the store, I already can beeline it for those places. And sometimes I'll even go before myself to get a sense so I don't waste their time when we go in. So it's not like I'm as new to everything in the store as as they're gonna be. because I want to make sure that we're utilizing time efficiently and making sure that they're really finding the things that they enjoy. Wow. Do you find that they actually walk out with things that are You know, like sometimes you could go shopping and then not find something, right? Well well, for me, the goal is it's not just like a piece. I want them to feel that they've completed the look. So if I'm going out with them, I mean, the ideal would be to get like five outfits to f like depending on what it is that they're trying to, you know, if it's a wedding or a simcha, or they're looking for Shabbats or just every single day, like you wanna like Or a date or a date. Definitely a date. Dating outfits. Five dating outfits. Yeah. Whatever it is, you I'm trying to create each outfit, each look. So from head to toe, whether it's the hat, whether it's the earrings, whether it's the headbands, we're trying to create the full look so they feel like they're walking out. Cause oftentimes you'll walk out with like a piece, you'll be like, no, what do I do with this? Once you're I know what you mean. You're like Where am I gonna actually wear this? Like I loved it in the store. The music was was pumping, the lighting was good and the atmosphere of everyone shopping around you. And you envision yourself wearing it at all these different places. But then when it comes down to like being on your hangar in your closet, you're like, What what am I what am I doing with this? I don't know. It took me a while to figure out that I should really tuck this in because I could also wear it out. Because it just it just took time to figure out, 'Cause I I'm much more of a tuck-in person. And it's right, it's very flattering. Right. That's also a part of it is finding the best looks that flatter the person's body. And for each body type, d the way you wear things creates different illusions. Right. so it's all about that too, understanding the body type and what would best fit, but then also walking out of the store, saying to yourself, Okay, now I know for this specific event, this is what this is the full outfit. Like I have the vision board. It's all there. It's all ready to go. I have friends who prepare their whole entire week of lunches and chop everything up. And then they have the Monday, the Tuesday, the Wednesday. So it's the same thing with your clothes. Like it's one less thing to have to worry about is every morning walking into your closet, what am I going to wear? Listen, you could always change it up, but it it feels good to feel prepared. Right. A hundred percent. I'm just amazed that you're able to go into one store and find five outfits. Because I need pieces. I wouldn't say one so like it could be multiple stores. It depends depends what the person wants. Like if you're saying to me, Melissa, I want you know, a dress for a high end occasion. And I also want like, you know, a cute upscale workout outfit to go out with my friends for a casual Monday and then we're gonna go out for lunch. Okay, something like that. I don't know. It would be completely totally different stores. And then I would have to organize and navigate that beforehand to know w the s types of stores that I would have to walk into beforehand to look for those specific items based on what they fill out in the questionnaire, the pictures that they're sending me, the styles that I've sent them back to see if they even like the looks I'm creating for them. And then I'm going to the store and I'm looking beforehand if we're doing an in-person meetup. So it's like, There's a lot of steps in the process to figuring out what will work for that person. It could be ten stores, it could be one store. Right. Right. It just depends on what they need and what they want and what they look good in, right? Like it has to be that they look really awesome and feel good. Yeah. So there's nothing better than someone walking out of a dressing room and looking in the mirror and saying, Wow. Like they didn't even know that that it they were capable of looking that good. When do you let them buy something that doesn't look good on them? No. Good. No. I'm the same way with my kids. Like, no. Like it, I said, you have to like it and I have to like it. This is all the years of growing up. And okay, you know what? I I wouldn't want them to not look good. If they looked at me and said, Melissa, I love it, that would veto it. Because if it made them feel to the point where they love something, and then you know what I would say to them? And I always do this, don't get it yet. If you're still thinking about it in three days, buy it. Okay. I don't love it, but it could be that you love it and like that's most important that you like and love. But wait, see if it's still lingering. I love it. one little thing I wanted to add when you were talking about hats on dates is that a piece of little bit of marriage architect advice to the women daters. And what do you think about this, Melissa? Is that if they've never been married, that they not wear a hat on a date because for sure not, because it looks as though you're married. Right. The hat will yes, no, for for observant women who are going out on dates, I definitely would not suggest the hat. Married is a little bit different. You could do a lot of different cool things with your hair, not necessarily involving a hat, but I yeah, it will throw the person off if you wear a hat. Yes, even in those pictures that they send profile pictures, literally the cutest picture someone sent. We like in the, you know, that winter hat, you know, close snug hat and she's never been married. I'm like, we cannot send this picture. It's gorgeous. You look amazing, but you know, we gotta be careful. It's also like when people send pictures of them with their nieces and nephews and it looks like their own children, and then people get so thrown off. Right. You don't want to throw people off. You don't want people to ask questions. You don't wanna send even a slight red flag. Right. Right. Exactly. do you have other good advice for daters? And remember, daters is I also say like this is dating smarter podcast for people who have never been married or who wanna get married, or people who have been married and want and are divorced or are widowed and want to get married again. But also dating smarter once like you date your spouse, right? This is also for married people who wanna get, you know, like go out on dates, right? And they look good and get dressed up and You know, we go out on dates to a restaurant, I'll put on my heels. Like I'm, you know, not just doing this for just whoever, this is my husband, he also. But I'm doing it for myself also. Like we have to like both yes. You're doing it so you feel good, you look good, you have something to look forward to, you're finally getting out. It's something for you, but it's also for your husbands, it's for your family. I mean, even the women with the mirrors, like we're we're beautifying ourselves in order to pr like to create create more of Claudia Surel. Right. And so it really is important, not just for us, but for the claw to feel our best and look our best. So I would suggest going out once a week with your husband, having a date night. It doesn't have to be fancy. It could be going out for coffee, whatever your your budget is. It doesn't have to be, you know, going to the King David to their new restaurant Wednesday nights, they have jazz night. you talk about the the the piano outside? Yes, like the I forget the name, the grill room, maybe. I don't know. Like you could you could do something like that, or you could go out to a you know, we have a coffee truck in our neighborhood of a frog. We sometimes just grab a coffee, catch up. It's 30 minutes, but it's spending time that's just us outside of the children, where you're really reconnecting and and feeling good and getting dressed and you know, connected. Yes, connecting. It's so important. I call it dating your spouse. So yes, it's it's a very important thing. And of course you could, you know, at home also, you know, hang out together, but it's very different when you go out, you do get dressed up and I do think that it's nice. Totally different than hanging out at home. It's world's away. Yeah. Yes. So what else in terms of dating and in terms of guys, the women, any other good advice for them? for how they should dress how they should look. I think you've given so many wonderful tips already. I'm just wondering if there's anything else that they can glean from. So okay, so this isn't it doesn't necessarily have to do with dressing, but something that I remember, I don't remember who told me that that going out on a first date is just to know if you want to go out on a second date. Yes. That's it. Like it's nothing more. You don't have to put so much emphasis on it. Like that's why I think it's really important to be open-minded. And sometimes just I used to say yes to everybody. Me too. Everybody. Cause I didn't know who my husband was. I was like, whatever Hashem sends me, it could be that he is the one. And so to calm myself down from taking it too seriously on every single first date, someone had given given me this advice. This first date is just to know if you want to like go out again. Like, no big deal. You don't have to like take it. Too seriously. And that really helped me in calming down and my nerves down and allowed me to be my best self on each date. Like I always got excited to get dressed up because and something else. this is I remember there was one guy that I was dating that I was never excited to get dressed up. He felt like a friend. He was an attractive guy. It was weird because I couldn't figure out what it was that was bothering me. But I remember there was a red flag for me when I realized as somebody who loves getting dressed up and getting ready for my dates, that I wasn't excited to get dressed up. That's a very big telling thing for yourself because you know yourself. And then to realize you're not excited to get dressed. my gosh, that's brilliant. Yeah, so if someone who normally is excited to get dressed or they take a long time to figure out what it is they're trying to wear, if if if you don't care, that's also a red flag. Because if you don't care now, you certainly will not care if you get married to that person. For sure. Absolutely. In fact, this person went on this date this morning and she calls me right before and she was so nervous about her date. She had a 10 30 AM picnic date, third date. And and I said You're just, you know, just want to see if you have a nice time, just like I would say to somebody going on first day, like you did, just see if you want to go on a second day, see if you enjoy. Just see how he makes you feel. And it's exactly what you're saying. It's like you f didn't you you weren't feeling like you and you weren't feeling, you know, mo ex inspired to get dressed like you normally would. It's not like any other person who doesn't love to get, you know, like there's some people in the world who don't really care about getting dressed up and this is and so you know, that wouldn't be any different for them. But for you especially, it he didn't make you feel like yourself and not comfortable, not excited, not inspired. So you definitely need to be inspired. And if you and if you don't have that inspiration, sometimes it's not necessarily about the person. It could just be you don't know what to do. You don't know what to wear. You don't know so so find a mentor, find a friend, find somebody to reflect what it is you're feeling so that they could help you. Yes. Because that doesn't always come so naturally to everybody. And that's okay. It's something that I even I said, like when I was younger, I used to ask, does this match? Does this everyone listen, nothing you're you're putting together matches? It was something I learned and left learn to love. Right. And I I would love for people to find you to for you to help teach them what color palettes work well on them and to teach them what does go well together. And you know, to give them a certain sense of. you know, flair of what works well and a little bit more of education, let's say, than what your husband had, so they don't surprise them on this next date, right? That you're helping them, helping them, helping them. And then you would laugh. It's like sometimes I I show up to show, I'm decked out because I I love dressing and I love I love clothes. And people will look the girls will always compliment me, but I I they must wonder because I never tell my husband what to wear or you know, he he wears sometimes wacky things. They must wonder, I don't understand this this match in terms of fashion. In terms of personality, yes, but not in terms of fashion. It's very funny. Yeah, you know, you have to do you, right? And like and the and the fact is that you love each other for each other, who they are. And that's actually a really good point. I'm I do want to emphasize this for a second, that you may not have realized that your spouse, that your husband wouldn't be a f like a fashion guy, meaning like Right. So I thought he would be very like a very well dressed, know how to put things together. And you know, it would it was a surprise. I'm like, this is interesting system. I think that that is a really excellent concept here because I think everybody has this picture of everything has to check a box to fit exactly what they're looking for, you know, the looks, their personality, everything, but they forget about the chemistry, right? They forget about Chemistry being the most important in the relationship. And and also that, you know, just because someone's not exactly like you doesn't mean that you can't teach them and they can't teach you. Like I don't like gardening, but my husband teaches me all about flowers and gardening. And he doesn't like fashion necessarily, but I teach him. So we are growing as people and learning from one another, and that's okay. That's great. It's it's great because I just had got off a call with somebody. She's saying, you he should look good and this is how I you know, and of course we both agree that attraction's important. It's not that you don't have that attraction to each other. It's more that you got to know him in a certain way that you develop that attraction and then recognize, okay, so this is, you know, like on that sixth day, I just find it because you brought it up that I that it makes it's very telling of the situation and you you love him for who he is and perfect for you. Right. And even though other people are like, huh, you know, the fashion thing, I'm sure he looks more fashion aligned to you than you think, or whatever it is. I'd have never met him. But I just feel like this is so key for someone to listen to this and to keep it in their mind. Because then it might help them in the future. Queen of fashion meets, you know, a a guy who may not be king of fashion, but he still has fashion. Let's just leave it that give him the benefit of a doubt. His own style, I'll put it in. His own style. So I'm sure he's amazing. And and I really think that this piece in itself can help a lot of people. It really can. Yeah. yeah. And if people want to find me, my Instagram is Mel FashionEdit. I where I post all kinds of interesting pieces, vision boards, different outfits. I sometimes I use AI models where they like. are in a video wearing the outfit. It's very cool. All kinds of cool. Really, really cool. Yeah. I should I want to check it out. You should definitely check it out. Okay, amazing. Thank you so much, Melissa. It's been a pleasure and fun. And I really hope that so many people are going to contact you to get your gems and to be able to, you know, dress in a way that they're going to be so confident and happy and be able to date smarter. Amazing. And I offer all types of packages and you know, work with people for what that they could afford. And yeah, that's it. And what they need, like if if they need like daily or something like that, or if they just want to get like a package of learning and how to dress and going to the store. Yes, all based on the questionnaire and their needs, and then we can develop a customized package for them. I have three packages, one for just like a mini makeover, one that's more of a I'm gonna take you out and give you a closet edit and I'll take you to the stores and I'll do a lot more within that one and then one that's yearly that's seasonal, you know, for all the seasons and helping you figure out what to wear, how to wear it, and you know, what you desire. Okay. And men and women or only women? so usually women, I'm not opposed to men, but mostly women. Okay. Great. Good to know. And maybe you could give advice to men, even if they don't have a whole happy to know. Okay, amazing. All right. Thank you so much, Melissa. And it was so fun to hang out with you here and to learn from you and all of the amazing words of wisdom that you brought to the Dating Smarter podcast. All right. Thank you so much. Take care. Bye. Bye.