WEBVTT
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Hi friends, welcome back to the Chemically Imbalanced Black Girl Podcast, aka your weekly slash monthly FaceTime call.
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If you are new here, this podcast is a collection of visual and audio existential crisis thoughts from a chemically imbalanced black girl who is me, and my name is Zarya.
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Hello friends, how are you guys doing today?
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I got some lo-fi music going on in the back.
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My children are in the living room sleeping, and that's the only way I can get them to calm down and leave me the hell alone is if I put on lo-fi music.
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So if you hear a little lullaby in the background, just vibe out, you know, just enjoy.
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You guys, I'm in a really good mood today, and whenever I'm in a good mood, I'm just like, let's just do something productive for the podcast, you know?
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Let's just do something, let's put a video out on TikTok, let's record an episode, let's do something.
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And it's so crazy that I feel so good today because I actually had a mental breakdown yesterday trying to record a video episode for you guys, and the lighting in my house is just absolutely disgusting.
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Like, disgusting.
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And no matter what angle, how high, how low I angled my camera, it just was not like I looked like I was in an alley trying to deliver a podcast.
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Like, hey, come over here.
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I got stories, like it was just disgusting.
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Well, I got the angle that I want to record from.
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I got the camera, I have everything.
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Now I just need a ring light.
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You know, like every time you try to do something, you just realize that you need more shit, and it's just like, okay, okay.
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I'm a rookie at this, okay?
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Obviously, I was not prepared.
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If I get a ring light, there's literally no excuse.
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There's gonna be no excuse why every episode isn't a video episode.
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You heard it here first.
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All I need is a ring light.
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I literally have everything else.
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So you guys are gonna be seeing my face a lot more often.
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And since I, you know, recently just started enjoying my face, I'm very excited about that.
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You know, I'm very before I get into the many, many topics I want to get into in this episode.
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I do have um some devastating news for you guys.
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Truly, it is devastating to me.
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And it's something that I pride myself on before this happened, and now I feel like I can't.
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You guys, before last week, I genuinely prided myself on being a human that didn't and has never ran over an animal while I'm driving.
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And you know, I I just was really proud of that.
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You know, everybody's either hit a squirrel, hit a cat, hit a raccoon, a possum, a fucking rat, you know.
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Somebody's hit something before.
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I've never hit anything.
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I will literally throw my car in a ditch before I hit an animal.
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I will.
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I'll fuck my whole life up before I run over and kill an animal.
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Like I just I I I can't do it.
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But last week, I was driving down the street and I saw this big, beautiful ass monarch butterfly.
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And I know you guys are like, Zarya are you fucking kidding me, a butterfly, but listen to the story, bitch.
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I'm driving, and you know, as one does, I see the butterfly fluttering above my car, and I'm just like, oh my gosh.
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And monarchs are my favorite butterfly because it's the first butterfly I learned when I was a kid.
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It's beautiful, you can notice it anywhere.
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Its markings are so like recognizable, you can just spot it in a crowd of a thousand butterflies.
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It's a beautiful butterfly.
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And so I was looking at it, admiring it, right?
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Admiring it.
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And I don't know, I guess the force, the wind force of the car like blew it up against my windshield, and it like smacked up against my windshield, and then it flew over the car, and in my rear view mirror, I can see the butterfly smack the fuck out of the car behind me and then fall in the street, and the car behind it ran over it.
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Y'all, when I tell you I pulled over and I started to absolute sob.
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Oh my gosh.
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The tears literally took no time, they literally fell out of my eyes.
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I was like, there's no way I just committed mass murder, like this that easily.
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There's no way.
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I'm a murderer.
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That's wild.
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That's wild.
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And it was like, it was like eight o'clock in the morning, and I just committed the most gruesome murder ever.
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I was like, why do things like this happen to me?
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You guys like, I'm not kidding.
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I had half a mind to go scoop that motherfucker up out of the middle of the road and like bury it.
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But then, like, as I'm pulling over, there's like a thousand more cars coming and just like the the butterfly didn't even exist anymore.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like, it was a part of the concrete.
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It was, it has become part of the universe.
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It did it, it was nothing I would have been able to pick up.
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Butterflies are the the the width of paper, bitch.
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It was nothing.
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I was so sad.
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I was like, he was just trying to fly around, you know what I'm saying?
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Like he was just trying to live his little butterfly life, and he got fucking a town stomped by fucking eight cars at least.
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I just I don't know, y'all.
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That really hurt my feelings.
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Like any type of harm animals go through really bothers me, and I try to do my best to not contribute to that in any way.
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And I mean, sometimes you know it happens involuntarily, but I it just breaks my heart.
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I'm just like, that happened for no reason.
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There was no reason for that butterfly to die, and it really just kind of messed my spirit up a little bit, I guess.
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And I know you guys are like, bitch, it's a butterfly, but it's just like it's it died for no reason, you know what I'm saying?
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Like it's a living thing, and it and that, and it died for nothing.
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There was no justification on why that butterfly died and why I had to fucking see it.
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I know I'm going too deep because it's a butterfly, but damn it! I'm really sad about it.
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I didn't wanna I didn't wanna I didn't want that to happen, so yeah, that's that fucked me up.
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Also, there is another topic I want to talk to you guys about that's just completely I can't tell if it's making me sad or it's pissing me off, and it's probably because it's doing both.
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But um so I came across uh someone sent actually sent this article to me, and I had to like look it up to see how true it was because it just doesn't make any fucking sense.
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But the article says at least a dozen transgender men and women serving in the U.S.
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Air Force who had applied for early retirement to avoid being kicked out of service for their gender identity have had their retirement approval rescinded by the service.
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The airmen, all of whom have served 15 to 18 years, must now choose between a voluntary separation agreement or an involuntary removal with few, if any, benefits.
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Either course of action will result in a substantial loss of financial, medical, and other benefits worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to them.
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The Air Force decision on Wednesday to rescind its approval of early retirement for transgender women women and men, which was reported earlier by rooters, is the latest battle in President Trump and Defense Secretary Pete Heggseth's assault on transgender rights.
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It also says the number of transgender women and men in uniform is believed to be 4,000 to 5,000, or about 0.2% of the total force.
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Pentagon policy now requires them to revert to the grooming standards and uniforms of their birth sex before being kicked out of the service.
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That shit is absolutely mind-boggling to me.
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I want to say something because I I never I just I just my my my human body DNA just doesn't understand shit like that.
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And I couldn't I wouldn't sit up here and talk to y'all and try to connect with y'all, or if I wasn't honest, you know what I'm saying?
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I wouldn't be a human to say, I don't understand how you could judge people so harshly for shit that has nothing to do with you.
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If you guys listen to this podcast, you know that I judge harshly and I judge thoroughly, okay?
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So I'm not gonna sit up here and be like, I don't understand why you care so much, it has nothing to do with you.
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I don't understand what's the point of judging them.
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I get we're we're human.
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That's what we that's what the fuck we do.
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You know what I'm saying?
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We judge.
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So it's not that I don't understand how you could disagree with someone who is transgender, gay, whatever.
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You have every right to do that.
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The thing that separates human from monster to me is when you think that because you disagree with somebody, with how somebody lives their life, that you get to fucking take away their rights because of that.
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That's the shit that I will never be able to wrap my brain around.
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There's a lot of shit, and there's a lot of people that I've met in my life that I don't agree with anything that they fucking choose to do with their life.
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Never have I ever had even the thought process to deny them bitches basic rights, food, safety, you know, freedom of speech, freedom to do whatever the fuck they want to do in this country.
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You know what I'm saying?
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That's never even fucking crossed my mind.
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I might call them a stupid, slow, fat, fuck, dumb bitch.
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Yeah, you know, because I have the right to do that.
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You know what I'm saying?
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That's the le that they won't even hear me say that to them.
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You know what I'm saying?
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That's the least of their fucking worries is what the fuck I think of them.
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And that's just where it should, but the baseline should stop at.
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You know, you have this fucked up opinion of somebody, cool.
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They don't need to know that.
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Their opinion of you does not need to interfere with their life at all.
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And the fact that people are making it that way makes me sick to my fucking stomach.
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The fact that you could judge somebody so harshly that you don't even look at them as human anymore.
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You know what I'm saying?
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You don't look at them as an evolving person or somebody minding their fucking business.
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You you you hate something about somebody so much that you you think that you can just take away everything that makes them them.
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That's the shit that really is starting to get under my skin about this country.
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It's just like whether you're fucking racist, a bigot, whether you're homophobic, whether you're sexist, you can literally be whatever the fuck you want to be in this country.
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And that's why everybody says this country is so fucking great, because you can be a monster and nobody gives a fuck, right?
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You can literally be as evil as the fuck you want to be in this country and everybody's like, yep, you still have rights.
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But let you want to lay down with the same sex, let you want to change some shit about yourself, let you actually want to dive into who the fuck you actually are, and because that isn't what people are used to, and because that isn't what people like to see, they think that they can, you know, belittle you or take away your humanity.
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That that I just I y'all y'all, I just really don't understand that, and that shit is making me mad.
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It's making me mad because I'm not trans, but I have people in my family that are trans.
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I've dated trans people before.
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These people mean something to me, you know what I'm saying?
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They are not any different than any other motherfucking person.
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I'm getting a little too mad.
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Sorry y'all, but it's just it really, it really bothers me, you know what I'm saying?
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For these specific group, what did it say, 4,000 to 5,000 people that are in the service that are trans, for these people to fucking sign up to even act like they're fighting for this fucking country when this country doesn't give a fuck about them.
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You know what I'm saying?
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To even be brave enough to put on that uniform, whatever branch they're in, at in this case, you know, Air Force.
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It's just like, bitch, the audacity to even acknowledge the fact that I'm trans in this, in this, you know what I'm saying?
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Like, bitch, I'm fighting for this country.
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I'm and and I'm not saying that everybody in the military is on the fucking battlefield.
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That's not what I'm saying.
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You got nurses in the military, you got EMTs in the military, you got cooks in the military, you got fucking security in the military.
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There's so many jobs that aren't on the fucking field, and there's so many jobs in the military that are just basic jobs.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Some jobs you don't even notice that niggas are in the military because it's such a regular job.
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So it's just like I don't understand how these people living regular ass lives, doing regular ass jobs, get so much fucking backlash just for doing what the fuck they want to do with their life.
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That will never be okay with me, that will never not piss me the fuck off.
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And it will never it will never not divide me between people because like if you're somebody who thinks that that's like okay and that makes sense and you understand why the fuck they're doing that, I just can't like I don't look at you as human anymore.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like I I just you're a fucking monster.
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I don't understand.
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I don't understand, and I never will.
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I think that is disrespectful as fuck.
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I go on tangents all the time about how people have fucking kids when they shouldn't have.
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You will never hear me say, well, bitch, just because you popped out kids and you weren't supposed to, you don't get to eat this month.
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You don't get to get a car, you don't get to rent a house, you don't get to do wick, you don't get to have this.
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You know what I'm saying?
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All I said was that she made a dumbass decision that she shouldn't have done it.
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After that, bitch, whatever you choose to do is is you know what I'm saying?
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Like, I I really don't understand the gall of people who think that just because you disagree with the way somebody lives their life that you get to stop how they live their life.
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I don't know.
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I'm gonna change the subject, but I really when I saw that article, it really pissed me off because this country is regressing so motherfucking hard, and everybody is always saying, like, I don't know.
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I don't want to get too deep in this topic, but it this this this I feel like the imaginary world peace that everybody is hoping we get from religion or the government or whatever the fuck, I feel like it's never gonna happen because this country was started on theft, robbery, and murder, and this country can only change by theft, robbery, and murder.
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Like, I feel like a lot of people don't understand how evil this motherfucking country is, how evil some of these white people in power are, how evil this government is just set up to be.
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You know what I'm saying?
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I used to have a homeboy that said there's no such thing as a good politician, no matter how many, you know, rules and laws he wants to implement, there's just a specific fucking evilness that America has.
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And if you're entwined in the government or politics in any way, there's a sliver of that evil inside of you because this shit could all be very fucking simple, and for some reason, all of you niggas are holding the lines on why it's not, you know what I'm saying?
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Because we could just start this shit over from scratch.
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It's gonna be ugly, it's gonna be ghetto as fuck, and it's gonna be messy as shit.
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But we should not still be running on constitutions, laws, and rules from fucking before Christ.
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I don't care.
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Like, I I just I don't know.
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I don't know.
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I don't want to get offensive, so I'm gonna change the subject.
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But that shit really bothers me.
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It really does.
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It really does.
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And if you're listening to this podcast and you're homophobic or transphobic, I want you to go to the nearest restaurant, go in the kitchen, get the largest knife, and just ass fuck yourself.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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I'm gonna change the subject.
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Sorry, sometimes I just like that's like my num for y'all who are new to this podcast.
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Sometimes I go off on tangents, and that's like one of my biggest um like personality red flags.
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I've said it in many episodes.
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Like, when I'm passionate about something and when I feel deeply about something, it's hard to get me to shut the fuck up about it because I my brain doesn't understand why somebody else thinks that it makes sense, if that makes sense.
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And it's like I have to talk myself through it to make sure that I'm not misunderstanding anything.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like I have to repeat myself over and over because I'm just like, am I the only one who thinks that this is fucked up and wrong?
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You know what I'm saying?
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And why am I the loudest bitch about it?
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Like, if everybody else feels the same way, why is nobody saying shit, you know?
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So that's where my red flags come in.
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Cause I'm always gonna say something.
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I'm always gonna be like, um, no.
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Like, what the fuck?
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Oh no, I'm not scared to die.
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So, you know, I there's been, you know, I'm not afraid to put myself in a position to be like, I I just don't believe in what the fuck is happening.
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And if there's a consequence for that, then I'll happily take it.
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But I just cannot see people get misrepresented, disrespected, poorly treated, robbed of their rights in my face and just not say anything about it.
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That's fucked up.
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It also makes me um think about I was watching uh you guys know the podcast, The Basement Yard.
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I was watching that yesterday, and they were talking about um It was like a really big um finance episode, and I felt like what Frankie was trying to under what Frankie was trying to say, Joey didn't quite understand.
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And I one reason I think is because Frankie wasn't explaining himself correctly, which is what what I think, or he probably was what he was trying to say, but my interpretation of it, I got what he was trying to say, he just didn't say it fully.
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And then Joey didn't understand because they're obviously on two different um tax brackets, and they've been on two different tax brackets for different periods of time, right?
00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:25.279
So basically, and this is just what I interpret Frankie was saying.
00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:31.279
You can go and watch um the episode if you haven't already watched it to see if you get a different interpret interpretation.
00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:44.000
But he was basically saying, like, how it's wrong that since you have to keep them all the money that you make in a certain spot, right?
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:49.440
Because cash is just not it's just not, you know, I guess what we do now.
00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:57.680
But back in the day, banks used to give you a certain amount of interest if you kept your money in like a checking account or a savings account, so that way your money made money.
00:17:57.920 --> 00:18:01.759
And now, you know, banks don't really do that as much.
00:18:01.839 --> 00:18:05.839
You don't get a lot of um interest for your money sitting in the bank.
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:09.920
Um, and now everybody's doing the stock market, everybody's investing in money, right?
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:16.079
And everybody's saying, like, that's the smartest thing to do with your money because you literally make money from having money.
00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:30.559
And Frankie was saying, like, don't get me wrong, I understand that this is a smart thing to do, but it's evil because you're just putting your money in this cloud of money that's really just not even fucking money, you know what I'm saying?
00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:36.880
It's just like whenever you want all of this money that you've accumulated, we can maybe get it to you in a week or one week.
00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:37.519
You know what I'm saying?
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:42.640
Like, it's not actually physically money, it's just numbers on a screen.
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:54.480
And he was saying that whatever the thing is called from I'm not explaining myself right, hold on.
00:18:54.640 --> 00:19:04.960
Saying there was a word for when you're paying for something, the difference in when how easy it is to just tap a card and go than to actually pay for it with cash.
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:12.960
Because when you pay for stuff with cash, you're a lot more hesitant to spend the money because you can see you can see the automatic deduction in the amount of money you have.
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:34.240
So, whatever the separation from that to how easily it is to just tap a card and go, um, he was saying he, you know, he wonders what that is because it's kind of the same thing as putting your money in the stock market because it is a risk, because you don't know however much money you put into the stock market or that you invest is gonna make money.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:43.200
And you know, Joey was saying it wasn't a risk because you know it's it's it's gonna make money eventually, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:48.240
Like there's a ne there's literally a guarantee that you're gonna make some kind of money.
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:58.079
It may not be a lot, it may not be substantial, but it's it's a lot higher than the risk of just leaving your money in the bank and your interest rate is fucking zero point.
00:19:58.319 --> 00:19:59.039
You know what I'm saying?
00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:01.039
Like, you're gonna get something.
00:20:01.359 --> 00:20:18.640
I feel like what Frankie was trying to say is that yes, it is smart to invest, and yes, that probably is the best thing to do financially, but the reason it's evil is because it's the best thing to do with your money, but only the motherfuckers who already have money can do it, you know what I'm saying?
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:43.200
It's not like everybody in the world can just invest, invest, invest, because you have to have money in order to make money, and that's what makes it evil because yes, it's such a smart thing to do with your money, yes, it's such a you know, um, a financially um gratifying thing, but it's only gratifying and it's only good for people who already have money.
00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:51.680
So the rest of us who are in this bottom pool are fucked, but yet we get to hear about how, oh, you gotta invest, you gotta invest.
00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:54.000
What if I don't have shit to invest with?
00:20:54.400 --> 00:20:58.559
That's that's the fucking barrier that a lot of people don't understand and can't get over.
00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:01.599
You gotta invest, you gotta invest, you gotta be an entrepreneur, you gotta do this.
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:03.440
Okay, bitch, I don't have anything.
00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:04.799
So what the fuck do I do?
00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:08.160
Give me some advice for a motherfucker who doesn't have anything.
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:09.200
You know what I'm saying?
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:10.319
Make money off of your money.
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:12.640
I don't have money to make money off of.
00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:13.599
You know what I'm saying?
00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:14.559
That's what makes it evil.
00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:18.400
It's a it's a wonderful idea if we all were fucking thousandaires and millionaires.
00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:20.799
Niggas can't eat, you know what I'm saying?
00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:29.279
Like, that's what the fuck makes it evil because you niggas are already millionaires talking about some, oh yeah, I just uh went up a fucking million and three quarters and shit.
00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:32.880
Like, bitch, you would have had that yesterday, you know what I'm saying?
00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:42.480
Like, you cannot tell people who don't have shit how smart and how financially you know responsible it is to invest money that they don't fucking have.
00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:45.279
And I don't understand that.
00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:48.319
And of course, Joey was like, and then money doesn't even fucking matter.
00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:58.799
And if you want to piss Zarya off, if you if there if you really want to piss me the fuck off, all you have to do is put me in front of a bitch who got a lot of money and say money don't matter.
00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:05.839
That will piss me the Fuck off, nothing pisses me off like a like a rich motherfucker saying money doesn't matter.
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:08.160
I hate that shit so much.
00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:09.359
I really do.
00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:10.720
I really fucking do.
00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:12.160
It really bothers me, y'all.
00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:13.039
It really does.
00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:21.119
So I got kind of like the 50-50 of that conversation because I understood what Frankie was saying so hard.
00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:31.119
Like, because it's such a smart idea, and it's because it's such a smart move move financially, the fact that everybody can't do it is what makes it wrong.
00:22:31.440 --> 00:22:32.400
You know what I'm saying?
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:36.799
Because you can't put two dollars into Apple and tomorrow that shit wake up be two billion.
00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:37.680
You know what I'm saying?
00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:42.000
Like, if you have nothing, you can't do anything.
00:22:42.319 --> 00:22:43.920
And I don't know.
00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:47.920
I just feel like people with money are just like, you know, well, put a couple here, put a couple there, fuck it.
00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:49.119
You know, if it goes wrong, it goes wrong.
00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:52.720
It's just like, yeah, bitch, because you actually have money in your bank account, right?
00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:54.559
And you're watching your stocks go up.
00:22:54.720 --> 00:22:58.079
When this stock drop, your whole life isn't ruined, bitch, because what?
00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:00.720
You still have money in your actual bank account.
00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:03.599
This isn't like, you know, these niggas aren't playing.
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:09.039
Like these niggas put everything they have into the stock market, and if that shit drops, that's what the fuck happens to them.
00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:10.160
They drop.
00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:14.960
They don't have$500,000 in the bank and be like, oh, well, you lose some, you win some, bitch.
00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:17.519
Bitch, when we lose some, we lose it all.
00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:19.599
So I don't know.
00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:27.920
That that episode kind of rubbed me the right and the wrong way because I was just like, I hate when niggas who have money don't understand what not having money is like.
00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:28.960
You know what I'm saying?
00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:33.680
Like, these niggas can't even fathom having one dollar in your bank account, and that's all you've had for two weeks.
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:34.559
You know what I'm saying?
00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:36.400
Like, they can't even fucking imagine that.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:39.839
So, of course, the way they talk about money is just like, yeah, just put some here, just put some there, bro.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:40.640
It'll grow.
00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:42.240
Just interest, interest, interest, interest.
00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:46.160
It's just like, bitch, how can I gain interest off of zero?
00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:52.799
Like they were saying in the episode, like, I'm not a finance nigga, like, I'm not a finance dude.
00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:54.240
I'm not a finance bro.
00:23:54.319 --> 00:23:58.000
Like, I don't really know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm saying?
00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:00.559
But I I know what the fuck no money means.
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:03.279
And I know what the fuck not being able to spend money means.
00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:07.759
And I know what, you know, if you don't have money, you can't do shit with money.
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:09.359
I know what all the fuck that means.
00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:20.079
So I may not be too invested in the in the the the fucking finance world and how stocks and all that shit work, but I do know that if you don't have shit, it's not really much shit you can do.
00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:22.160
Okay, guys, I wanted to do this.
00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:23.680
It was supposed to be a quick little episode.
00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:29.359
I told you guys I wanted to start doing like little 15, 20 minute episodes, and I was in such a good mood.
00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:37.599
Contrary to what you might believe based on how this episode sounds, I'm in a fantastic mood, but you know, I just get really passionate about stuff that I don't like.
00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:43.920
But um, you guys, I have a little, I have two M other Assholes.
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:47.839
I think I'm gonna only do one, and then I have this scenario that I saw on Facebook.
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:50.880
All of the scenarios I see on Facebook I think are fake, by the way.
00:24:51.119 --> 00:24:54.880
I just like some of them because it causes like a little ruckus in my mind.
00:24:55.119 --> 00:25:01.279
Um, but I saw this uh lady post something on Facebook, and it might have been true.
00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:05.839
I just that's just my go-to to think that everything I see online is fake because I don't want to become a stupid bitch.
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:11.839
Um, but yeah, I wanted to read you guys what this woman posted on Facebook about her husband.
00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:47.279
Um, and it made me laugh because I obviously asked this question to a bunch of my friends and stuff like that, and the difference we have in answers is so funny, and I would love to hear how you guys would have handled this because you can tell, first of all, you can tell how old people are the way they handle this, you can tell how traumatized people are from relationships, and you can tell who's really just jaded by other human beings the way people answer um after reading this scenario.
00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:55.920
And I'm pretty sure you guys are gonna already know how I'm gonna answer, but I want to read you the scenario anyway, just so you can have your own answer.
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:58.240
If you've already heard this, then kudos to you.
00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:00.559
It was posted six days ago, I believe.
00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:04.079
So it says, this post is for Mary folks.
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:09.519
It says, last night my husband accidentally knocked a wine glass over and it smashes pieces on the floor.
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:12.079
I wasn't there to see him do it, but I heard the crash.
00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:18.960
He proceeded to clean it up and checked for pieces, and after being satisfied that he gotten every piece, he went to bed for the night.
00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:24.799
Now, I tend to get up and do random things at night around the house, so I got up and I went to the laundry room.
00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:29.599
As I went through the kitchen, I saw a couple pretty nice sized pieces of glass on the floor.
00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:32.400
Honestly, my first response was irritation.
00:26:32.559 --> 00:26:38.319
I mean it seemed so careless, and what if one of the boys had gotten up in the middle of the night to get something from the kitchen and stepped on a shard?
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:46.480
I was becoming increasingly upset when I heard in my spirit a voice of correction saying, Aren't you the helpmate?
00:26:47.440 --> 00:26:54.480
With this rhetorical rhetorical question, I understood that I should be glad that I was up to pick up what he missed.
00:26:54.559 --> 00:27:00.079
I reswept the floor and began moving things around in case pieces had managed to ricochet off somewhere else.
00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:02.160
And I found quite a few pieces.
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:03.359
This is marriage.
00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:08.480
Our spouses may not always get it right, even when their very best efforts are put forward.
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:12.720
But a true help meet sees where there is lack and makes up for the difference.
00:27:12.799 --> 00:27:15.920
Sorry, this lady was not spelling these words correctly.
00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:21.039
Um it's not always time to complain, sometimes it's time to complete.
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:27.200
And you know, I have to blame it on my Gemini.
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:39.920
You guys know I'm not that big in astrology, but whenever I feel myself pulling equally on two different sides of an argument, I just have to throw Gemini in there because I'm just like, I the the two bitches in my head are just like, no, no, no.
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:40.720
You know?
00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:52.720
Because on one hand, I think this is very beautiful, I think this is very healthy, I think this is a very smart way to self-regulate your emotions and not putting yourself in the victim's shoes all the time.
00:27:52.799 --> 00:27:53.440
You know what I'm saying?
00:27:53.519 --> 00:28:02.960
It's just like, um, especially as a mom, I feel like when you have a husband and kids, it's always at the forefront of your mind that you have to do everything right first and only.
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:07.200
Um, and so I feel like she self-regulated herself beautifully.
00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:08.240
You know what I'm saying?
00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:12.480
She didn't go off on him, she didn't even mention it to him that he had left pieces behind.
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:14.960
Um, you know what I'm saying?
00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:28.799
She she did the the the wife thing you do, and just like, okay, I'm gonna be the counterpart, I'm gonna be the second part to my husband, and you know, do what I'm supposed to do in this marriage because this doesn't need to be a fight.
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:29.759
He made a mistake.
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:36.880
I get that, and I think that's beautiful, and that's something that I strive to be able to do with myself.
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:47.200
You guys, if you you've been a fan of this podcast long, there's been several instances where I read something and I go, that is what I strive to be in the future, but I'm not that right now.
00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:54.079
This would have pissed me clean off because for several reasons.
00:28:55.039 --> 00:29:02.640
You guys, if I've said anything on this podcast repeatedly, it's how much I enjoy being alone, right?
00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:07.519
So if and this is not, I'm not putting myself in this woman's shoes anymore.
00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:10.079
I'm putting myself in my shoes because I know who I am.
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:18.319
I would love to be and handle the situation how she did, but I know I wouldn't and I couldn't, so now I'm gonna just talk about how I would handle it.
00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:26.240
Because we're not talking about 19-year-olds, we're not talking about 22-year-olds, you know, out of college, first time living together, first-time apartment.
00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:30.079
We're not talking about children, and we're not talking about young adults.
00:29:30.160 --> 00:29:33.680
The lady in this who posted this looked like she was about 56, right?
00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:34.799
So we're grown as fuck.
00:29:34.880 --> 00:29:37.599
I'm grown as fuck, I'm 27, just to take it back to me.
00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:45.680
If I was, let's say I'm 27-year-old, I got two kids, and I got a 32-year-old husband, and he dropped a wine glass in the kitchen, swept it up.
00:29:45.759 --> 00:29:47.039
Now, I do have a picture.
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:49.599
Uh now, mind you, she posted a picture of the shards.
00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:51.359
It was not a tiny piece of glass, bitch.
00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:54.640
This is a this is a the two sides of the of the glass cup.
00:29:54.799 --> 00:29:56.000
It was not a tiny shard.
00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:57.359
There were two sides of the glass cup.
00:29:57.440 --> 00:29:59.279
So they're big ass pieces of glass, right?
00:29:59.359 --> 00:30:01.599
You can see them clear as day on the goddamn floor.
00:30:01.759 --> 00:30:03.759
That's the part that made me mad, if I'm being honest.
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:05.359
The fact that he made a mistake didn't make me mad.
00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:08.480
It's the size of the glass that she swept up that pissed me off.
00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:11.039
I need you guys to know that because obviously you can't see.
00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:16.160
But I do need you guys to know that the the glass she swept up was fucking substantial in size.
00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:21.440
And to me, I think I honestly would have bust out crying.
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:29.440
I think I would have sat on my kitchen floor and started crying because that would have been just been a precursor to the rest of my life.
00:30:29.759 --> 00:30:33.519
I don't want to be a help meet.
00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:35.279
You know what I'm saying?
00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:37.599
I I I don't want to be somebody slack.
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:41.119
I don't want to be the pickup bitch, I don't want to be the oh, I got you, baby.
00:30:41.279 --> 00:30:42.799
I I have never desired to be that.
00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:43.839
You know what I'm saying?
00:30:44.079 --> 00:30:53.039
If there's a man in my life, for damn sure, if I gave this nigga children and we're married and we're living together, this nigga needs to be 100% all the time.
00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:55.359
Because I'm 100% all the time.
00:30:55.519 --> 00:30:58.079
When I'm by myself, I take care of all the shit.
00:30:58.160 --> 00:31:00.400
I clean up, I know how to do things thoroughly.
00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:02.160
There isn't a fuck thing I miss.
00:31:02.319 --> 00:31:04.960
I don't know how you could miss broken glass on the floor with kids in a house.
00:31:05.039 --> 00:31:07.920
I wouldn't stop sweeping until I until the floor fucking came up.
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:08.880
You know what I'm saying?
00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:23.599
Like, there has to be a level of awareness, there has to be a level of matureness, there has to be a level of of cognizance that that's there in order for me to not get pissed off.
00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:24.480
You know what I'm saying?
00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:32.720
And these fat ass glass shards that I'm looking at, it's like this nigga dropped the glass, swept the area he saw, and was like, Yup, that's good.
00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:34.640
Like, we have kids in the house.
00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:36.319
That's a fat ass piece of glass.
00:31:36.400 --> 00:31:40.240
What if my son came downstairs to get an apple out of the fridge and cut his fucking foot off?
00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:41.200
You know what I'm saying?
00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:52.640
Y'all just we just heard about homegirl on TikTok who went out with her homegirls, her husband dumbass on the on the couch in the living room watching the game, and the baby drowning in the pool for seven fucking minutes and died.
00:31:52.799 --> 00:31:53.680
You know what I'm saying?
00:31:53.839 --> 00:31:58.000
So this this this carelessness shit, I'm not really a fan of, you know what I'm saying?
00:31:58.079 --> 00:31:59.839
Especially when there's kids in the house.
00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:08.000
You know, I there's just a level of do you really know what the fuck you're doing that would have pissed me off.
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:09.440
And I would have woken him up.
00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:12.640
Now I wouldn't have yelled at him because there's no need to yell, you know what I'm saying?
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:18.000
Nobody got hurt, but we would have had to have a conversation because what did you sweep?
00:32:18.799 --> 00:32:20.079
Where did you sweep?
00:32:20.799 --> 00:32:21.680
Did you look?
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:27.359
Next time you drop a cup, make sure you get it all up.
00:32:27.519 --> 00:32:33.599
And and even to have that conversation with a grown ass man who's a father would have pissed me off because it's just like, nigga.
00:32:34.799 --> 00:32:36.000
Like, come on.
00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:47.119
Like, is it just because I'm the mom or because I'm the woman that because I dropped a glass that shattered, now the whole why does it only make sense to me that the whole fucking kitchen now has to be swept?
00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:48.960
Like that didn't register to you?
00:32:49.039 --> 00:32:49.839
You didn't think about that?
00:32:49.920 --> 00:32:51.759
You didn't think about these fucking kids that we got?
00:32:51.920 --> 00:32:52.799
You didn't think about that?
00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:56.240
You just swept the spot that you saw the cup in and that was it?
00:32:56.400 --> 00:32:59.680
Like the the what am I trying to say?
00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:12.079
The thinking ahead, like the the the I don't know, the prep, I don't know what I'm trying to say, y'all, but the things that mothers have, that would have pissed me off from him not having.
00:33:12.240 --> 00:33:16.960
And I know that's not fair and I know it doesn't make any sense, but I don't know.
00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:39.680
This is it's it's it it's it's why I said in the beginning, you can tell who who has the ability to withstand a marriage, you can tell who's just been jaded by relationships, and you can tell who just the people who should rather be alone when they answer this question because it's just like either it's not gonna be that big of a deal or it's gonna be a deal breaker.
00:33:39.759 --> 00:33:40.400
You know what I'm saying?
00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:47.200
It's one of those things because sweeping glass off the floor is just not something I want to talk to a grown man about.
00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:49.519
It's not, especially when there's children in the house.
00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:59.920
Tracy Ellis Ross said it best to me like, in order for you to come into my life, you have to make my life softer, easier, and better than it is when I'm by myself.
00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:08.639
And I can and and trust me, when I'm alone, this shit is as soft as fuck, is easy as fuck, and it's fun as fuck when I'm by myself.
00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:14.559
So if you can't elevate that, while you're with me, there's literally no reason for you to be me, be with me.
00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:26.000
And if the reason you're with me, or if while you're gonna be with me, my role is the help meet or the slack bitch or the pickup bitch, that's just I don't know.
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:30.159
And I know all of you are just like, damn, Zarya, that's what a fucking partnership is, that's what a marriage is.
00:34:30.320 --> 00:34:30.800
I get that.
00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:32.000
I don't want it.
00:34:32.320 --> 00:34:33.599
Like, I do want it.
00:34:33.840 --> 00:34:34.880
Let me let me not say that.
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:35.519
I do want it.
00:34:35.679 --> 00:34:43.760
I would love to get married to a to a woman or a man who just was a fucking go-getter.
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:44.480
You know what I'm saying?
00:34:44.559 --> 00:34:47.760
Like didn't need direction, didn't need help, didn't need explanation.
00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:51.119
They were just like, I got it, babe, I got it, babe, I got it, babe, I got it, babe, I got it, babe.
00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:55.360
You guys know from the beginning of this podcast, I told you that's what everybody views me as.
00:34:55.599 --> 00:34:58.400
Everybody turns their fucking brain off when they're around me.
00:34:58.559 --> 00:35:04.800
So that's why I I I just something as simple as explaining to a grown man how he didn't get all the glass up off the floor.
00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:08.880
That's why that pisses me off so much because that's what I've done my whole life.
00:35:09.039 --> 00:35:09.840
You know what I'm saying?
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:11.679
I'll be in the car with plenty grown men.
00:35:11.760 --> 00:35:13.360
I'm just like, why are you driving off the road?
00:35:13.519 --> 00:35:13.920
Pay attention.
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:15.039
Like, why are you walking that way?
00:35:15.199 --> 00:35:15.840
Pay attention.
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:19.280
Like, I'm the person who has to drive everybody in the right direction.
00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:22.639
I can be lit out of my fucking mind, drunk, high, crossfaded.
00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:26.480
I'm still the only bitch in the room with common sense and making sure everybody is okay.
00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:32.960
So because I've been that my whole life, I'll be damned if I get married and have kids and be that for the rest of my life.
00:35:33.119 --> 00:35:36.000
I'm just, it's just, it's, it's not, it's not cute to me.
00:35:36.079 --> 00:35:37.039
It's not cute to me.
00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:38.320
It's not cute to me.
00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:43.599
So I know I probably lost a couple of you guys on this one because it's like, damn, this bitch is evil as fuck.
00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:54.320
And I'm really not, it's just that I really don't like stupid shit, and I really don't like wasting my time on people that prove that I'd have an easier time if I was just alone.
00:35:54.559 --> 00:35:55.599
You know what I'm saying?
00:35:55.760 --> 00:35:57.760
So that's all I'm saying.
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:00.960
Okay, guys, it's time to close my laptop.
00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:04.000
I think that is gonna be all for the episode today.
00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:13.039
Um, I do just want to take two little tiny moments to just say how much I appreciate all of you guys for listening to this podcast.
00:36:13.199 --> 00:36:20.480
I know I'm probably the most unprofessional, like weirdest bitch you listen to as far as like content.
00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:24.880
Um, but I really do love these weekly/slash monthly FaceTime calls.
00:36:25.119 --> 00:36:27.519
I really do love that you guys are starting to talk to me more.
00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:34.400
I remember when I first started this podcast, like nobody DM'd me, even though I saw that I had like 30 listeners a month.
00:36:34.559 --> 00:36:42.880
Nobody would DM me, nobody would ask me questions, but it's like the more I crash out on this podcast, the more you guys are interested in me and asking more questions.
00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:44.320
And I really do appreciate that.
00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:54.960
Um, I really need to get into the habit of start saying, Um, please comment, like, subscribe, share, send it to your friends.
00:36:55.280 --> 00:37:03.519
Um, I think my goal for this podcast is also changing, like I don't know.
00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:09.679
I think I'm starting to steer in the direction of like some sort of hotline.
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:11.760
Like, why did my voice just crack?
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:12.400
Am I about to cry?
00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:12.960
What's going on?
00:37:13.039 --> 00:37:14.480
It's hot as fuck in Florida, by the way.
00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:16.400
I'm sweating ass and titties.
00:37:16.800 --> 00:37:35.840
Um, but I'm kind of steering in the direction of a hotline or some type of chatroom for uh mentally ill uh black women and men because there's so many times, and for me to live alone, there's so many times where I have so much shit to say.
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:48.800
Obviously, why I started this podcast and I have nobody to say it to, or nobody to say it to that I think would be worth saying it to because I don't think they would understand or they wouldn't be able to relate or whatever reason, you know.
00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:52.960
And sometimes I just want to say shit and not have a response.
00:37:53.119 --> 00:37:59.760
Sometimes I want to say shit and I want to have a response, sometimes I just want to I just wanna scream, you know what I'm saying?
00:37:59.920 --> 00:38:07.039
And I want to find a way to link this podcast up with something like that, you know.
00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:35.920
And I don't know how I'm gonna do that now, but I I I think about it a lot, and because so many of you are starting to talk to me more and share your stories with me, I'm just like, dude, I can really do this, like this could be a thing, and I know I'm just I I haven't got the right idea yet, and I haven't gotten what exactly it is that I want to do, but I know it's gonna be chat room-esque.
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:39.760
Like, I don't know, but I do want to thank you guys for listening.
00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:41.360
Please like, comment, and subscribe.
00:38:41.519 --> 00:38:44.400
You can comment on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
00:38:44.559 --> 00:38:56.400
You can subscribe on YouTube, please um follow me on TikTok and Instagram on my regular page or my podcast page, and I hope you guys are doing well mentally.
00:38:56.960 --> 00:39:00.719
I hope this year is really just being nice to you.
00:39:00.800 --> 00:39:01.840
It's almost over.
00:39:02.079 --> 00:39:05.679
Um, just hang in there a few more, a few more months.
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:11.519
Um, and if you are feeling sad, I know seasonal depression is about to come up for a lot of people.
00:39:11.679 --> 00:39:19.599
Um, I know you guys might not take this seriously, but if you ever need somebody to talk to or somebody to cry to, I promise I will answer.
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:21.199
I promise I will listen.
00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:28.400
There is not anything you could tell me that I haven't one probably already been through or relate to or understand.
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:31.920
So yeah, I'll see you guys in the next episode.
00:39:32.159 --> 00:39:32.559
Bye.
00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:17.120
Hi friends, welcome back to the Chemically Imbalanced Black Girl Podcast, aka your weekly slash monthly FaceTime call.
00:00:17.359 --> 00:00:26.480
If you are new here, this podcast is a collection of visual and audio existential crisis thoughts from a chemically imbalanced black girl who is me, and my name is Zarya.
00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:29.600
Hello friends, how are you guys doing today?
00:00:29.839 --> 00:00:32.960
I got some lo-fi music going on in the back.
00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:40.640
My children are in the living room sleeping, and that's the only way I can get them to calm down and leave me the hell alone is if I put on lo-fi music.
00:00:40.719 --> 00:00:44.399
So if you hear a little lullaby in the background, just vibe out, you know, just enjoy.
00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:51.840
You guys, I'm in a really good mood today, and whenever I'm in a good mood, I'm just like, let's just do something productive for the podcast, you know?
00:00:51.920 --> 00:00:57.119
Let's just do something, let's put a video out on TikTok, let's record an episode, let's do something.
00:00:57.280 --> 00:01:09.840
And it's so crazy that I feel so good today because I actually had a mental breakdown yesterday trying to record a video episode for you guys, and the lighting in my house is just absolutely disgusting.
00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:12.079
Like, disgusting.
00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:22.239
And no matter what angle, how high, how low I angled my camera, it just was not like I looked like I was in an alley trying to deliver a podcast.
00:01:22.319 --> 00:01:23.760
Like, hey, come over here.
00:01:24.640 --> 00:01:27.040
I got stories, like it was just disgusting.
00:01:27.280 --> 00:01:29.680
Well, I got the angle that I want to record from.
00:01:29.760 --> 00:01:31.680
I got the camera, I have everything.
00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:33.280
Now I just need a ring light.
00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:38.959
You know, like every time you try to do something, you just realize that you need more shit, and it's just like, okay, okay.
00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:40.480
I'm a rookie at this, okay?
00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:42.159
Obviously, I was not prepared.
00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:44.640
If I get a ring light, there's literally no excuse.
00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:47.760
There's gonna be no excuse why every episode isn't a video episode.
00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:48.799
You heard it here first.
00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:50.000
All I need is a ring light.
00:01:50.079 --> 00:01:51.280
I literally have everything else.
00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:54.000
So you guys are gonna be seeing my face a lot more often.
00:01:54.239 --> 00:01:58.640
And since I, you know, recently just started enjoying my face, I'm very excited about that.
00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:03.280
You know, I'm very before I get into the many, many topics I want to get into in this episode.
00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:06.640
I do have um some devastating news for you guys.
00:02:06.799 --> 00:02:08.639
Truly, it is devastating to me.
00:02:08.960 --> 00:02:14.879
And it's something that I pride myself on before this happened, and now I feel like I can't.
00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:26.479
You guys, before last week, I genuinely prided myself on being a human that didn't and has never ran over an animal while I'm driving.
00:02:27.039 --> 00:02:29.439
And you know, I I just was really proud of that.
00:02:29.520 --> 00:02:34.240
You know, everybody's either hit a squirrel, hit a cat, hit a raccoon, a possum, a fucking rat, you know.
00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:35.680
Somebody's hit something before.
00:02:35.759 --> 00:02:36.719
I've never hit anything.
00:02:36.800 --> 00:02:39.599
I will literally throw my car in a ditch before I hit an animal.
00:02:39.680 --> 00:02:39.919
I will.
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:43.360
I'll fuck my whole life up before I run over and kill an animal.
00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:45.360
Like I just I I I can't do it.
00:02:45.520 --> 00:02:53.360
But last week, I was driving down the street and I saw this big, beautiful ass monarch butterfly.
00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:57.919
And I know you guys are like, Zarya are you fucking kidding me, a butterfly, but listen to the story, bitch.
00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:07.039
I'm driving, and you know, as one does, I see the butterfly fluttering above my car, and I'm just like, oh my gosh.
00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:11.280
And monarchs are my favorite butterfly because it's the first butterfly I learned when I was a kid.
00:03:11.439 --> 00:03:13.120
It's beautiful, you can notice it anywhere.
00:03:13.199 --> 00:03:18.080
Its markings are so like recognizable, you can just spot it in a crowd of a thousand butterflies.
00:03:18.159 --> 00:03:19.360
It's a beautiful butterfly.
00:03:19.599 --> 00:03:22.000
And so I was looking at it, admiring it, right?
00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:23.280
Admiring it.
00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:41.919
And I don't know, I guess the force, the wind force of the car like blew it up against my windshield, and it like smacked up against my windshield, and then it flew over the car, and in my rear view mirror, I can see the butterfly smack the fuck out of the car behind me and then fall in the street, and the car behind it ran over it.
00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:46.240
Y'all, when I tell you I pulled over and I started to absolute sob.
00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:48.240
Oh my gosh.
00:03:48.400 --> 00:03:51.759
The tears literally took no time, they literally fell out of my eyes.
00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:57.360
I was like, there's no way I just committed mass murder, like this that easily.
00:03:57.520 --> 00:03:58.400
There's no way.
00:03:58.560 --> 00:03:59.520
I'm a murderer.
00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:00.319
That's wild.
00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:00.960
That's wild.
00:04:01.039 --> 00:04:07.840
And it was like, it was like eight o'clock in the morning, and I just committed the most gruesome murder ever.
00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:10.879
I was like, why do things like this happen to me?
00:04:11.039 --> 00:04:12.240
You guys like, I'm not kidding.
00:04:12.319 --> 00:04:17.360
I had half a mind to go scoop that motherfucker up out of the middle of the road and like bury it.
00:04:17.519 --> 00:04:24.240
But then, like, as I'm pulling over, there's like a thousand more cars coming and just like the the butterfly didn't even exist anymore.
00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:24.959
You know what I'm saying?
00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:26.560
Like, it was a part of the concrete.
00:04:26.800 --> 00:04:30.240
It was, it has become part of the universe.
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:32.959
It did it, it was nothing I would have been able to pick up.
00:04:33.199 --> 00:04:36.480
Butterflies are the the the width of paper, bitch.
00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:37.680
It was nothing.
00:04:37.920 --> 00:04:38.879
I was so sad.
00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:43.439
I was like, he was just trying to fly around, you know what I'm saying?
00:04:43.519 --> 00:04:50.800
Like he was just trying to live his little butterfly life, and he got fucking a town stomped by fucking eight cars at least.
00:04:50.879 --> 00:04:51.839
I just I don't know, y'all.
00:04:51.920 --> 00:04:52.959
That really hurt my feelings.
00:04:53.040 --> 00:05:01.279
Like any type of harm animals go through really bothers me, and I try to do my best to not contribute to that in any way.
00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:06.560
And I mean, sometimes you know it happens involuntarily, but I it just breaks my heart.
00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:08.959
I'm just like, that happened for no reason.
00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:14.879
There was no reason for that butterfly to die, and it really just kind of messed my spirit up a little bit, I guess.
00:05:14.959 --> 00:05:19.600
And I know you guys are like, bitch, it's a butterfly, but it's just like it's it died for no reason, you know what I'm saying?
00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:23.199
Like it's a living thing, and it and that, and it died for nothing.
00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:27.120
There was no justification on why that butterfly died and why I had to fucking see it.
00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:31.680
I know I'm going too deep because it's a butterfly, but damn it! I'm really sad about it.
00:05:31.839 --> 00:05:38.000
I didn't wanna I didn't wanna I didn't want that to happen, so yeah, that's that fucked me up.
00:05:38.319 --> 00:05:49.519
Also, there is another topic I want to talk to you guys about that's just completely I can't tell if it's making me sad or it's pissing me off, and it's probably because it's doing both.
00:05:49.839 --> 00:06:02.879
But um so I came across uh someone sent actually sent this article to me, and I had to like look it up to see how true it was because it just doesn't make any fucking sense.
00:06:03.040 --> 00:06:07.120
But the article says at least a dozen transgender men and women serving in the U.S.
00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:16.079
Air Force who had applied for early retirement to avoid being kicked out of service for their gender identity have had their retirement approval rescinded by the service.
00:06:16.319 --> 00:06:27.360
The airmen, all of whom have served 15 to 18 years, must now choose between a voluntary separation agreement or an involuntary removal with few, if any, benefits.
00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:35.439
Either course of action will result in a substantial loss of financial, medical, and other benefits worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to them.
00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:51.759
The Air Force decision on Wednesday to rescind its approval of early retirement for transgender women women and men, which was reported earlier by rooters, is the latest battle in President Trump and Defense Secretary Pete Heggseth's assault on transgender rights.
00:06:51.920 --> 00:07:02.079
It also says the number of transgender women and men in uniform is believed to be 4,000 to 5,000, or about 0.2% of the total force.
00:07:02.319 --> 00:07:11.439
Pentagon policy now requires them to revert to the grooming standards and uniforms of their birth sex before being kicked out of the service.
00:07:13.120 --> 00:07:17.600
That shit is absolutely mind-boggling to me.
00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:28.800
I want to say something because I I never I just I just my my my human body DNA just doesn't understand shit like that.
00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:39.199
And I couldn't I wouldn't sit up here and talk to y'all and try to connect with y'all, or if I wasn't honest, you know what I'm saying?
00:07:39.360 --> 00:07:45.600
I wouldn't be a human to say, I don't understand how you could judge people so harshly for shit that has nothing to do with you.
00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:51.279
If you guys listen to this podcast, you know that I judge harshly and I judge thoroughly, okay?
00:07:51.519 --> 00:07:56.720
So I'm not gonna sit up here and be like, I don't understand why you care so much, it has nothing to do with you.
00:07:56.800 --> 00:07:58.879
I don't understand what's the point of judging them.
00:07:58.959 --> 00:08:00.399
I get we're we're human.
00:08:00.480 --> 00:08:01.839
That's what we that's what the fuck we do.
00:08:01.920 --> 00:08:02.560
You know what I'm saying?
00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:03.199
We judge.
00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:10.879
So it's not that I don't understand how you could disagree with someone who is transgender, gay, whatever.
00:08:11.839 --> 00:08:14.000
You have every right to do that.
00:08:14.639 --> 00:08:29.759
The thing that separates human from monster to me is when you think that because you disagree with somebody, with how somebody lives their life, that you get to fucking take away their rights because of that.
00:08:29.920 --> 00:08:33.919
That's the shit that I will never be able to wrap my brain around.
00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:40.799
There's a lot of shit, and there's a lot of people that I've met in my life that I don't agree with anything that they fucking choose to do with their life.
00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:52.480
Never have I ever had even the thought process to deny them bitches basic rights, food, safety, you know, freedom of speech, freedom to do whatever the fuck they want to do in this country.
00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:53.200
You know what I'm saying?
00:08:53.279 --> 00:08:54.720
That's never even fucking crossed my mind.
00:08:54.799 --> 00:08:57.519
I might call them a stupid, slow, fat, fuck, dumb bitch.
00:08:57.679 --> 00:08:59.679
Yeah, you know, because I have the right to do that.
00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:00.320
You know what I'm saying?
00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:02.639
That's the le that they won't even hear me say that to them.
00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:03.360
You know what I'm saying?
00:09:03.440 --> 00:09:06.480
That's the least of their fucking worries is what the fuck I think of them.
00:09:06.639 --> 00:09:09.840
And that's just where it should, but the baseline should stop at.
00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:13.039
You know, you have this fucked up opinion of somebody, cool.
00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:14.159
They don't need to know that.
00:09:14.399 --> 00:09:17.840
Their opinion of you does not need to interfere with their life at all.
00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:22.879
And the fact that people are making it that way makes me sick to my fucking stomach.
00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:27.200
The fact that you could judge somebody so harshly that you don't even look at them as human anymore.
00:09:27.440 --> 00:09:28.240
You know what I'm saying?
00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:33.279
You don't look at them as an evolving person or somebody minding their fucking business.
00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:40.960
You you you hate something about somebody so much that you you think that you can just take away everything that makes them them.
00:09:41.759 --> 00:09:46.320
That's the shit that really is starting to get under my skin about this country.
00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:54.799
It's just like whether you're fucking racist, a bigot, whether you're homophobic, whether you're sexist, you can literally be whatever the fuck you want to be in this country.
00:09:54.879 --> 00:10:00.559
And that's why everybody says this country is so fucking great, because you can be a monster and nobody gives a fuck, right?
00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:05.600
You can literally be as evil as the fuck you want to be in this country and everybody's like, yep, you still have rights.
00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:23.679
But let you want to lay down with the same sex, let you want to change some shit about yourself, let you actually want to dive into who the fuck you actually are, and because that isn't what people are used to, and because that isn't what people like to see, they think that they can, you know, belittle you or take away your humanity.
00:10:23.919 --> 00:10:28.799
That that I just I y'all y'all, I just really don't understand that, and that shit is making me mad.
00:10:29.039 --> 00:10:34.240
It's making me mad because I'm not trans, but I have people in my family that are trans.
00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:35.759
I've dated trans people before.
00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:38.000
These people mean something to me, you know what I'm saying?
00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:40.960
They are not any different than any other motherfucking person.
00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:42.399
I'm getting a little too mad.
00:10:42.480 --> 00:10:46.720
Sorry y'all, but it's just it really, it really bothers me, you know what I'm saying?
00:10:47.039 --> 00:11:00.639
For these specific group, what did it say, 4,000 to 5,000 people that are in the service that are trans, for these people to fucking sign up to even act like they're fighting for this fucking country when this country doesn't give a fuck about them.
00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:01.679
You know what I'm saying?
00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:07.600
To even be brave enough to put on that uniform, whatever branch they're in, at in this case, you know, Air Force.
00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:14.960
It's just like, bitch, the audacity to even acknowledge the fact that I'm trans in this, in this, you know what I'm saying?
00:11:15.039 --> 00:11:16.639
Like, bitch, I'm fighting for this country.
00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:20.960
I'm and and I'm not saying that everybody in the military is on the fucking battlefield.
00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:21.679
That's not what I'm saying.
00:11:21.759 --> 00:11:27.919
You got nurses in the military, you got EMTs in the military, you got cooks in the military, you got fucking security in the military.
00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:35.919
There's so many jobs that aren't on the fucking field, and there's so many jobs in the military that are just basic jobs.
00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:36.639
You know what I'm saying?
00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:40.720
Some jobs you don't even notice that niggas are in the military because it's such a regular job.
00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:50.960
So it's just like I don't understand how these people living regular ass lives, doing regular ass jobs, get so much fucking backlash just for doing what the fuck they want to do with their life.
00:11:51.120 --> 00:11:55.120
That will never be okay with me, that will never not piss me the fuck off.
00:11:55.279 --> 00:12:13.120
And it will never it will never not divide me between people because like if you're somebody who thinks that that's like okay and that makes sense and you understand why the fuck they're doing that, I just can't like I don't look at you as human anymore.
00:12:13.200 --> 00:12:13.840
You know what I'm saying?
00:12:13.919 --> 00:12:16.399
Like I I just you're a fucking monster.
00:12:17.120 --> 00:12:18.559
I don't understand.
00:12:18.879 --> 00:12:21.039
I don't understand, and I never will.
00:12:21.200 --> 00:12:24.000
I think that is disrespectful as fuck.
00:12:24.159 --> 00:12:29.360
I go on tangents all the time about how people have fucking kids when they shouldn't have.
00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:34.720
You will never hear me say, well, bitch, just because you popped out kids and you weren't supposed to, you don't get to eat this month.
00:12:34.879 --> 00:12:39.360
You don't get to get a car, you don't get to rent a house, you don't get to do wick, you don't get to have this.
00:12:39.600 --> 00:12:40.399
You know what I'm saying?
00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:43.200
All I said was that she made a dumbass decision that she shouldn't have done it.
00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:47.919
After that, bitch, whatever you choose to do is is you know what I'm saying?
00:12:48.080 --> 00:13:01.120
Like, I I really don't understand the gall of people who think that just because you disagree with the way somebody lives their life that you get to stop how they live their life.
00:13:01.279 --> 00:13:01.679
I don't know.
00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:19.440
I'm gonna change the subject, but I really when I saw that article, it really pissed me off because this country is regressing so motherfucking hard, and everybody is always saying, like, I don't know.
00:13:19.600 --> 00:13:51.200
I don't want to get too deep in this topic, but it this this this I feel like the imaginary world peace that everybody is hoping we get from religion or the government or whatever the fuck, I feel like it's never gonna happen because this country was started on theft, robbery, and murder, and this country can only change by theft, robbery, and murder.
00:13:51.360 --> 00:14:02.399
Like, I feel like a lot of people don't understand how evil this motherfucking country is, how evil some of these white people in power are, how evil this government is just set up to be.
00:14:02.559 --> 00:14:03.679
You know what I'm saying?
00:14:03.840 --> 00:14:16.559
I used to have a homeboy that said there's no such thing as a good politician, no matter how many, you know, rules and laws he wants to implement, there's just a specific fucking evilness that America has.
00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:30.720
And if you're entwined in the government or politics in any way, there's a sliver of that evil inside of you because this shit could all be very fucking simple, and for some reason, all of you niggas are holding the lines on why it's not, you know what I'm saying?
00:14:30.799 --> 00:14:32.960
Because we could just start this shit over from scratch.
00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:37.840
It's gonna be ugly, it's gonna be ghetto as fuck, and it's gonna be messy as shit.
00:14:38.399 --> 00:14:43.759
But we should not still be running on constitutions, laws, and rules from fucking before Christ.
00:14:43.919 --> 00:14:44.720
I don't care.
00:14:44.879 --> 00:14:47.600
Like, I I just I don't know.
00:14:47.759 --> 00:14:48.240
I don't know.
00:14:48.399 --> 00:14:50.639
I don't want to get offensive, so I'm gonna change the subject.
00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:52.879
But that shit really bothers me.
00:14:53.039 --> 00:14:53.759
It really does.
00:14:53.919 --> 00:14:54.480
It really does.
00:14:54.559 --> 00:15:09.360
And if you're listening to this podcast and you're homophobic or transphobic, I want you to go to the nearest restaurant, go in the kitchen, get the largest knife, and just ass fuck yourself.
00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:09.759
I don't know.
00:15:09.840 --> 00:15:10.159
I don't know.
00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:11.360
I'm gonna change the subject.
00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:19.039
Sorry, sometimes I just like that's like my num for y'all who are new to this podcast.
00:15:19.519 --> 00:15:25.919
Sometimes I go off on tangents, and that's like one of my biggest um like personality red flags.
00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:27.200
I've said it in many episodes.
00:15:27.360 --> 00:15:39.679
Like, when I'm passionate about something and when I feel deeply about something, it's hard to get me to shut the fuck up about it because I my brain doesn't understand why somebody else thinks that it makes sense, if that makes sense.
00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:45.840
And it's like I have to talk myself through it to make sure that I'm not misunderstanding anything.
00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:46.639
You know what I'm saying?
00:15:46.720 --> 00:15:53.840
Like I have to repeat myself over and over because I'm just like, am I the only one who thinks that this is fucked up and wrong?
00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:54.720
You know what I'm saying?
00:15:54.799 --> 00:15:56.399
And why am I the loudest bitch about it?
00:15:56.480 --> 00:16:00.720
Like, if everybody else feels the same way, why is nobody saying shit, you know?
00:16:00.960 --> 00:16:04.159
So that's where my red flags come in.
00:16:04.240 --> 00:16:05.519
Cause I'm always gonna say something.
00:16:05.600 --> 00:16:07.759
I'm always gonna be like, um, no.
00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:09.519
Like, what the fuck?
00:16:09.759 --> 00:16:11.120
Oh no, I'm not scared to die.
00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:20.320
So, you know, I there's been, you know, I'm not afraid to put myself in a position to be like, I I just don't believe in what the fuck is happening.
00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:23.279
And if there's a consequence for that, then I'll happily take it.
00:16:23.360 --> 00:16:32.480
But I just cannot see people get misrepresented, disrespected, poorly treated, robbed of their rights in my face and just not say anything about it.
00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:33.440
That's fucked up.
00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:40.320
It also makes me um think about I was watching uh you guys know the podcast, The Basement Yard.
00:16:40.399 --> 00:16:58.000
I was watching that yesterday, and they were talking about um It was like a really big um finance episode, and I felt like what Frankie was trying to under what Frankie was trying to say, Joey didn't quite understand.
00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:11.759
And I one reason I think is because Frankie wasn't explaining himself correctly, which is what what I think, or he probably was what he was trying to say, but my interpretation of it, I got what he was trying to say, he just didn't say it fully.
00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:20.400
And then Joey didn't understand because they're obviously on two different um tax brackets, and they've been on two different tax brackets for different periods of time, right?
00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:25.279
So basically, and this is just what I interpret Frankie was saying.
00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:31.279
You can go and watch um the episode if you haven't already watched it to see if you get a different interpret interpretation.
00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:44.000
But he was basically saying, like, how it's wrong that since you have to keep them all the money that you make in a certain spot, right?
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:49.440
Because cash is just not it's just not, you know, I guess what we do now.
00:17:49.599 --> 00:17:57.680
But back in the day, banks used to give you a certain amount of interest if you kept your money in like a checking account or a savings account, so that way your money made money.
00:17:57.920 --> 00:18:01.759
And now, you know, banks don't really do that as much.
00:18:01.839 --> 00:18:05.839
You don't get a lot of um interest for your money sitting in the bank.
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:09.920
Um, and now everybody's doing the stock market, everybody's investing in money, right?
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:16.079
And everybody's saying, like, that's the smartest thing to do with your money because you literally make money from having money.
00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:30.559
And Frankie was saying, like, don't get me wrong, I understand that this is a smart thing to do, but it's evil because you're just putting your money in this cloud of money that's really just not even fucking money, you know what I'm saying?
00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:36.880
It's just like whenever you want all of this money that you've accumulated, we can maybe get it to you in a week or one week.
00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:37.519
You know what I'm saying?
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:42.640
Like, it's not actually physically money, it's just numbers on a screen.
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:54.480
And he was saying that whatever the thing is called from I'm not explaining myself right, hold on.
00:18:54.640 --> 00:19:04.960
Saying there was a word for when you're paying for something, the difference in when how easy it is to just tap a card and go than to actually pay for it with cash.
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:12.960
Because when you pay for stuff with cash, you're a lot more hesitant to spend the money because you can see you can see the automatic deduction in the amount of money you have.
00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:34.240
So, whatever the separation from that to how easily it is to just tap a card and go, um, he was saying he, you know, he wonders what that is because it's kind of the same thing as putting your money in the stock market because it is a risk, because you don't know however much money you put into the stock market or that you invest is gonna make money.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:43.200
And you know, Joey was saying it wasn't a risk because you know it's it's it's gonna make money eventually, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:48.240
Like there's a ne there's literally a guarantee that you're gonna make some kind of money.
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:58.079
It may not be a lot, it may not be substantial, but it's it's a lot higher than the risk of just leaving your money in the bank and your interest rate is fucking zero point.
00:19:58.319 --> 00:19:59.039
You know what I'm saying?
00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:01.039
Like, you're gonna get something.
00:20:01.359 --> 00:20:18.640
I feel like what Frankie was trying to say is that yes, it is smart to invest, and yes, that probably is the best thing to do financially, but the reason it's evil is because it's the best thing to do with your money, but only the motherfuckers who already have money can do it, you know what I'm saying?
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:43.200
It's not like everybody in the world can just invest, invest, invest, because you have to have money in order to make money, and that's what makes it evil because yes, it's such a smart thing to do with your money, yes, it's such a you know, um, a financially um gratifying thing, but it's only gratifying and it's only good for people who already have money.
00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:51.680
So the rest of us who are in this bottom pool are fucked, but yet we get to hear about how, oh, you gotta invest, you gotta invest.
00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:54.000
What if I don't have shit to invest with?
00:20:54.400 --> 00:20:58.559
That's that's the fucking barrier that a lot of people don't understand and can't get over.
00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:01.599
You gotta invest, you gotta invest, you gotta be an entrepreneur, you gotta do this.
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:03.440
Okay, bitch, I don't have anything.
00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:04.799
So what the fuck do I do?
00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:08.160
Give me some advice for a motherfucker who doesn't have anything.
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:09.200
You know what I'm saying?
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:10.319
Make money off of your money.
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:12.640
I don't have money to make money off of.
00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:13.599
You know what I'm saying?
00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:14.559
That's what makes it evil.
00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:18.400
It's a it's a wonderful idea if we all were fucking thousandaires and millionaires.
00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:20.799
Niggas can't eat, you know what I'm saying?
00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:29.279
Like, that's what the fuck makes it evil because you niggas are already millionaires talking about some, oh yeah, I just uh went up a fucking million and three quarters and shit.
00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:32.880
Like, bitch, you would have had that yesterday, you know what I'm saying?
00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:42.480
Like, you cannot tell people who don't have shit how smart and how financially you know responsible it is to invest money that they don't fucking have.
00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:45.279
And I don't understand that.
00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:48.319
And of course, Joey was like, and then money doesn't even fucking matter.
00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:58.799
And if you want to piss Zarya off, if you if there if you really want to piss me the fuck off, all you have to do is put me in front of a bitch who got a lot of money and say money don't matter.
00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:05.839
That will piss me the Fuck off, nothing pisses me off like a like a rich motherfucker saying money doesn't matter.
00:22:06.160 --> 00:22:08.160
I hate that shit so much.
00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:09.359
I really do.
00:22:09.599 --> 00:22:10.720
I really fucking do.
00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:12.160
It really bothers me, y'all.
00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:13.039
It really does.
00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:21.119
So I got kind of like the 50-50 of that conversation because I understood what Frankie was saying so hard.
00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:31.119
Like, because it's such a smart idea, and it's because it's such a smart move move financially, the fact that everybody can't do it is what makes it wrong.
00:22:31.440 --> 00:22:32.400
You know what I'm saying?
00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:36.799
Because you can't put two dollars into Apple and tomorrow that shit wake up be two billion.
00:22:36.880 --> 00:22:37.680
You know what I'm saying?
00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:42.000
Like, if you have nothing, you can't do anything.
00:22:42.319 --> 00:22:43.920
And I don't know.
00:22:44.000 --> 00:22:47.920
I just feel like people with money are just like, you know, well, put a couple here, put a couple there, fuck it.
00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:49.119
You know, if it goes wrong, it goes wrong.
00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:52.720
It's just like, yeah, bitch, because you actually have money in your bank account, right?
00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:54.559
And you're watching your stocks go up.
00:22:54.720 --> 00:22:58.079
When this stock drop, your whole life isn't ruined, bitch, because what?
00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:00.720
You still have money in your actual bank account.
00:23:00.960 --> 00:23:03.599
This isn't like, you know, these niggas aren't playing.
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:09.039
Like these niggas put everything they have into the stock market, and if that shit drops, that's what the fuck happens to them.
00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:10.160
They drop.
00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:14.960
They don't have$500,000 in the bank and be like, oh, well, you lose some, you win some, bitch.
00:23:15.119 --> 00:23:17.519
Bitch, when we lose some, we lose it all.
00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:19.599
So I don't know.
00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:27.920
That that episode kind of rubbed me the right and the wrong way because I was just like, I hate when niggas who have money don't understand what not having money is like.
00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:28.960
You know what I'm saying?
00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:33.680
Like, these niggas can't even fathom having one dollar in your bank account, and that's all you've had for two weeks.
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:34.559
You know what I'm saying?
00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:36.400
Like, they can't even fucking imagine that.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:39.839
So, of course, the way they talk about money is just like, yeah, just put some here, just put some there, bro.
00:23:40.240 --> 00:23:40.640
It'll grow.
00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:42.240
Just interest, interest, interest, interest.
00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:46.160
It's just like, bitch, how can I gain interest off of zero?
00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:52.799
Like they were saying in the episode, like, I'm not a finance nigga, like, I'm not a finance dude.
00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:54.240
I'm not a finance bro.
00:23:54.319 --> 00:23:58.000
Like, I don't really know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm saying?
00:23:58.240 --> 00:24:00.559
But I I know what the fuck no money means.
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:03.279
And I know what the fuck not being able to spend money means.
00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:07.759
And I know what, you know, if you don't have money, you can't do shit with money.
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:09.359
I know what all the fuck that means.
00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:20.079
So I may not be too invested in the in the the the fucking finance world and how stocks and all that shit work, but I do know that if you don't have shit, it's not really much shit you can do.
00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:22.160
Okay, guys, I wanted to do this.
00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:23.680
It was supposed to be a quick little episode.
00:24:23.839 --> 00:24:29.359
I told you guys I wanted to start doing like little 15, 20 minute episodes, and I was in such a good mood.
00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:37.599
Contrary to what you might believe based on how this episode sounds, I'm in a fantastic mood, but you know, I just get really passionate about stuff that I don't like.
00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:43.920
But um, you guys, I have a little, I have two M other Assholes.
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:47.839
I think I'm gonna only do one, and then I have this scenario that I saw on Facebook.
00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:50.880
All of the scenarios I see on Facebook I think are fake, by the way.
00:24:51.119 --> 00:24:54.880
I just like some of them because it causes like a little ruckus in my mind.
00:24:55.119 --> 00:25:01.279
Um, but I saw this uh lady post something on Facebook, and it might have been true.
00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:05.839
I just that's just my go-to to think that everything I see online is fake because I don't want to become a stupid bitch.
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:11.839
Um, but yeah, I wanted to read you guys what this woman posted on Facebook about her husband.
00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:47.279
Um, and it made me laugh because I obviously asked this question to a bunch of my friends and stuff like that, and the difference we have in answers is so funny, and I would love to hear how you guys would have handled this because you can tell, first of all, you can tell how old people are the way they handle this, you can tell how traumatized people are from relationships, and you can tell who's really just jaded by other human beings the way people answer um after reading this scenario.
00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:55.920
And I'm pretty sure you guys are gonna already know how I'm gonna answer, but I want to read you the scenario anyway, just so you can have your own answer.
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:58.240
If you've already heard this, then kudos to you.
00:25:58.400 --> 00:26:00.559
It was posted six days ago, I believe.
00:26:00.799 --> 00:26:04.079
So it says, this post is for Mary folks.
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:09.519
It says, last night my husband accidentally knocked a wine glass over and it smashes pieces on the floor.
00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:12.079
I wasn't there to see him do it, but I heard the crash.
00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:18.960
He proceeded to clean it up and checked for pieces, and after being satisfied that he gotten every piece, he went to bed for the night.
00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:24.799
Now, I tend to get up and do random things at night around the house, so I got up and I went to the laundry room.
00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:29.599
As I went through the kitchen, I saw a couple pretty nice sized pieces of glass on the floor.
00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:32.400
Honestly, my first response was irritation.
00:26:32.559 --> 00:26:38.319
I mean it seemed so careless, and what if one of the boys had gotten up in the middle of the night to get something from the kitchen and stepped on a shard?
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:46.480
I was becoming increasingly upset when I heard in my spirit a voice of correction saying, Aren't you the helpmate?
00:26:47.440 --> 00:26:54.480
With this rhetorical rhetorical question, I understood that I should be glad that I was up to pick up what he missed.
00:26:54.559 --> 00:27:00.079
I reswept the floor and began moving things around in case pieces had managed to ricochet off somewhere else.
00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:02.160
And I found quite a few pieces.
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:03.359
This is marriage.
00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:08.480
Our spouses may not always get it right, even when their very best efforts are put forward.
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:12.720
But a true help meet sees where there is lack and makes up for the difference.
00:27:12.799 --> 00:27:15.920
Sorry, this lady was not spelling these words correctly.
00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:21.039
Um it's not always time to complain, sometimes it's time to complete.
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:27.200
And you know, I have to blame it on my Gemini.
00:27:27.440 --> 00:27:39.920
You guys know I'm not that big in astrology, but whenever I feel myself pulling equally on two different sides of an argument, I just have to throw Gemini in there because I'm just like, I the the two bitches in my head are just like, no, no, no.
00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:40.720
You know?
00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:52.720
Because on one hand, I think this is very beautiful, I think this is very healthy, I think this is a very smart way to self-regulate your emotions and not putting yourself in the victim's shoes all the time.
00:27:52.799 --> 00:27:53.440
You know what I'm saying?
00:27:53.519 --> 00:28:02.960
It's just like, um, especially as a mom, I feel like when you have a husband and kids, it's always at the forefront of your mind that you have to do everything right first and only.
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:07.200
Um, and so I feel like she self-regulated herself beautifully.
00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:08.240
You know what I'm saying?
00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:12.480
She didn't go off on him, she didn't even mention it to him that he had left pieces behind.
00:28:12.720 --> 00:28:14.960
Um, you know what I'm saying?
00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:28.799
She she did the the the wife thing you do, and just like, okay, I'm gonna be the counterpart, I'm gonna be the second part to my husband, and you know, do what I'm supposed to do in this marriage because this doesn't need to be a fight.
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:29.759
He made a mistake.
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:36.880
I get that, and I think that's beautiful, and that's something that I strive to be able to do with myself.
00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:47.200
You guys, if you you've been a fan of this podcast long, there's been several instances where I read something and I go, that is what I strive to be in the future, but I'm not that right now.
00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:54.079
This would have pissed me clean off because for several reasons.
00:28:55.039 --> 00:29:02.640
You guys, if I've said anything on this podcast repeatedly, it's how much I enjoy being alone, right?
00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:07.519
So if and this is not, I'm not putting myself in this woman's shoes anymore.
00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:10.079
I'm putting myself in my shoes because I know who I am.
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:18.319
I would love to be and handle the situation how she did, but I know I wouldn't and I couldn't, so now I'm gonna just talk about how I would handle it.
00:29:18.799 --> 00:29:26.240
Because we're not talking about 19-year-olds, we're not talking about 22-year-olds, you know, out of college, first time living together, first-time apartment.
00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:30.079
We're not talking about children, and we're not talking about young adults.
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The lady in this who posted this looked like she was about 56, right?
00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:34.799
So we're grown as fuck.
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I'm grown as fuck, I'm 27, just to take it back to me.
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If I was, let's say I'm 27-year-old, I got two kids, and I got a 32-year-old husband, and he dropped a wine glass in the kitchen, swept it up.
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Now, I do have a picture.
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Uh now, mind you, she posted a picture of the shards.
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It was not a tiny piece of glass, bitch.
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This is a this is a the two sides of the of the glass cup.
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It was not a tiny shard.
00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:57.359
There were two sides of the glass cup.
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So they're big ass pieces of glass, right?
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You can see them clear as day on the goddamn floor.
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That's the part that made me mad, if I'm being honest.
00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:05.359
The fact that he made a mistake didn't make me mad.
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It's the size of the glass that she swept up that pissed me off.
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I need you guys to know that because obviously you can't see.
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But I do need you guys to know that the the glass she swept up was fucking substantial in size.
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And to me, I think I honestly would have bust out crying.
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I think I would have sat on my kitchen floor and started crying because that would have been just been a precursor to the rest of my life.
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I don't want to be a help meet.
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You know what I'm saying?
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I I I don't want to be somebody slack.
00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:41.119
I don't want to be the pickup bitch, I don't want to be the oh, I got you, baby.
00:30:41.279 --> 00:30:42.799
I I have never desired to be that.
00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:43.839
You know what I'm saying?
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If there's a man in my life, for damn sure, if I gave this nigga children and we're married and we're living together, this nigga needs to be 100% all the time.
00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:55.359
Because I'm 100% all the time.
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When I'm by myself, I take care of all the shit.
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I clean up, I know how to do things thoroughly.
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There isn't a fuck thing I miss.
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I don't know how you could miss broken glass on the floor with kids in a house.
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I wouldn't stop sweeping until I until the floor fucking came up.
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You know what I'm saying?
00:31:09.119 --> 00:31:23.599
Like, there has to be a level of awareness, there has to be a level of matureness, there has to be a level of of cognizance that that's there in order for me to not get pissed off.
00:31:23.759 --> 00:31:24.480
You know what I'm saying?
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And these fat ass glass shards that I'm looking at, it's like this nigga dropped the glass, swept the area he saw, and was like, Yup, that's good.
00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:34.640
Like, we have kids in the house.
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That's a fat ass piece of glass.
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What if my son came downstairs to get an apple out of the fridge and cut his fucking foot off?
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You know what I'm saying?
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Y'all just we just heard about homegirl on TikTok who went out with her homegirls, her husband dumbass on the on the couch in the living room watching the game, and the baby drowning in the pool for seven fucking minutes and died.
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You know what I'm saying?
00:31:53.839 --> 00:31:58.000
So this this this carelessness shit, I'm not really a fan of, you know what I'm saying?
00:31:58.079 --> 00:31:59.839
Especially when there's kids in the house.
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You know, I there's just a level of do you really know what the fuck you're doing that would have pissed me off.
00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:09.440
And I would have woken him up.
00:32:09.519 --> 00:32:12.640
Now I wouldn't have yelled at him because there's no need to yell, you know what I'm saying?
00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:18.000
Nobody got hurt, but we would have had to have a conversation because what did you sweep?
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Where did you sweep?
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Did you look?
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Next time you drop a cup, make sure you get it all up.
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And and even to have that conversation with a grown ass man who's a father would have pissed me off because it's just like, nigga.
00:32:34.799 --> 00:32:36.000
Like, come on.
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Like, is it just because I'm the mom or because I'm the woman that because I dropped a glass that shattered, now the whole why does it only make sense to me that the whole fucking kitchen now has to be swept?
00:32:47.519 --> 00:32:48.960
Like that didn't register to you?
00:32:49.039 --> 00:32:49.839
You didn't think about that?
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You didn't think about these fucking kids that we got?
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You didn't think about that?
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You just swept the spot that you saw the cup in and that was it?
00:32:56.400 --> 00:32:59.680
Like the the what am I trying to say?
00:32:59.920 --> 00:33:12.079
The thinking ahead, like the the the I don't know, the prep, I don't know what I'm trying to say, y'all, but the things that mothers have, that would have pissed me off from him not having.
00:33:12.240 --> 00:33:16.960
And I know that's not fair and I know it doesn't make any sense, but I don't know.
00:33:17.039 --> 00:33:39.680
This is it's it's it it's it's why I said in the beginning, you can tell who who has the ability to withstand a marriage, you can tell who's just been jaded by relationships, and you can tell who just the people who should rather be alone when they answer this question because it's just like either it's not gonna be that big of a deal or it's gonna be a deal breaker.
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You know what I'm saying?
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It's one of those things because sweeping glass off the floor is just not something I want to talk to a grown man about.
00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:49.519
It's not, especially when there's children in the house.
00:33:50.160 --> 00:33:59.920
Tracy Ellis Ross said it best to me like, in order for you to come into my life, you have to make my life softer, easier, and better than it is when I'm by myself.
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And I can and and trust me, when I'm alone, this shit is as soft as fuck, is easy as fuck, and it's fun as fuck when I'm by myself.
00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:14.559
So if you can't elevate that, while you're with me, there's literally no reason for you to be me, be with me.
00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:26.000
And if the reason you're with me, or if while you're gonna be with me, my role is the help meet or the slack bitch or the pickup bitch, that's just I don't know.
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:30.159
And I know all of you are just like, damn, Zarya, that's what a fucking partnership is, that's what a marriage is.
00:34:30.320 --> 00:34:30.800
I get that.
00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:32.000
I don't want it.
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Like, I do want it.
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Let me let me not say that.
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:35.519
I do want it.
00:34:35.679 --> 00:34:43.760
I would love to get married to a to a woman or a man who just was a fucking go-getter.
00:34:43.840 --> 00:34:44.480
You know what I'm saying?
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Like didn't need direction, didn't need help, didn't need explanation.
00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:51.119
They were just like, I got it, babe, I got it, babe, I got it, babe, I got it, babe, I got it, babe.
00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:55.360
You guys know from the beginning of this podcast, I told you that's what everybody views me as.
00:34:55.599 --> 00:34:58.400
Everybody turns their fucking brain off when they're around me.
00:34:58.559 --> 00:35:04.800
So that's why I I I just something as simple as explaining to a grown man how he didn't get all the glass up off the floor.
00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:08.880
That's why that pisses me off so much because that's what I've done my whole life.
00:35:09.039 --> 00:35:09.840
You know what I'm saying?
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:11.679
I'll be in the car with plenty grown men.
00:35:11.760 --> 00:35:13.360
I'm just like, why are you driving off the road?
00:35:13.519 --> 00:35:13.920
Pay attention.
00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:15.039
Like, why are you walking that way?
00:35:15.199 --> 00:35:15.840
Pay attention.
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:19.280
Like, I'm the person who has to drive everybody in the right direction.
00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:22.639
I can be lit out of my fucking mind, drunk, high, crossfaded.
00:35:22.719 --> 00:35:26.480
I'm still the only bitch in the room with common sense and making sure everybody is okay.
00:35:26.800 --> 00:35:32.960
So because I've been that my whole life, I'll be damned if I get married and have kids and be that for the rest of my life.
00:35:33.119 --> 00:35:36.000
I'm just, it's just, it's, it's not, it's not cute to me.
00:35:36.079 --> 00:35:37.039
It's not cute to me.
00:35:37.280 --> 00:35:38.320
It's not cute to me.
00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:43.599
So I know I probably lost a couple of you guys on this one because it's like, damn, this bitch is evil as fuck.
00:35:43.679 --> 00:35:54.320
And I'm really not, it's just that I really don't like stupid shit, and I really don't like wasting my time on people that prove that I'd have an easier time if I was just alone.
00:35:54.559 --> 00:35:55.599
You know what I'm saying?
00:35:55.760 --> 00:35:57.760
So that's all I'm saying.
00:35:58.400 --> 00:36:00.960
Okay, guys, it's time to close my laptop.
00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:04.000
I think that is gonna be all for the episode today.
00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:13.039
Um, I do just want to take two little tiny moments to just say how much I appreciate all of you guys for listening to this podcast.
00:36:13.199 --> 00:36:20.480
I know I'm probably the most unprofessional, like weirdest bitch you listen to as far as like content.
00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:24.880
Um, but I really do love these weekly/slash monthly FaceTime calls.
00:36:25.119 --> 00:36:27.519
I really do love that you guys are starting to talk to me more.
00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:34.400
I remember when I first started this podcast, like nobody DM'd me, even though I saw that I had like 30 listeners a month.
00:36:34.559 --> 00:36:42.880
Nobody would DM me, nobody would ask me questions, but it's like the more I crash out on this podcast, the more you guys are interested in me and asking more questions.
00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:44.320
And I really do appreciate that.
00:36:44.559 --> 00:36:54.960
Um, I really need to get into the habit of start saying, Um, please comment, like, subscribe, share, send it to your friends.
00:36:55.280 --> 00:37:03.519
Um, I think my goal for this podcast is also changing, like I don't know.
00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:09.679
I think I'm starting to steer in the direction of like some sort of hotline.
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:11.760
Like, why did my voice just crack?
00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:12.400
Am I about to cry?
00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:12.960
What's going on?
00:37:13.039 --> 00:37:14.480
It's hot as fuck in Florida, by the way.
00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:16.400
I'm sweating ass and titties.
00:37:16.800 --> 00:37:35.840
Um, but I'm kind of steering in the direction of a hotline or some type of chatroom for uh mentally ill uh black women and men because there's so many times, and for me to live alone, there's so many times where I have so much shit to say.
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:48.800
Obviously, why I started this podcast and I have nobody to say it to, or nobody to say it to that I think would be worth saying it to because I don't think they would understand or they wouldn't be able to relate or whatever reason, you know.
00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:52.960
And sometimes I just want to say shit and not have a response.
00:37:53.119 --> 00:37:59.760
Sometimes I want to say shit and I want to have a response, sometimes I just want to I just wanna scream, you know what I'm saying?
00:37:59.920 --> 00:38:07.039
And I want to find a way to link this podcast up with something like that, you know.
00:38:08.000 --> 00:38:35.920
And I don't know how I'm gonna do that now, but I I I think about it a lot, and because so many of you are starting to talk to me more and share your stories with me, I'm just like, dude, I can really do this, like this could be a thing, and I know I'm just I I haven't got the right idea yet, and I haven't gotten what exactly it is that I want to do, but I know it's gonna be chat room-esque.
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:39.760
Like, I don't know, but I do want to thank you guys for listening.
00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:41.360
Please like, comment, and subscribe.
00:38:41.519 --> 00:38:44.400
You can comment on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
00:38:44.559 --> 00:38:56.400
You can subscribe on YouTube, please um follow me on TikTok and Instagram on my regular page or my podcast page, and I hope you guys are doing well mentally.
00:38:56.960 --> 00:39:00.719
I hope this year is really just being nice to you.
00:39:00.800 --> 00:39:01.840
It's almost over.
00:39:02.079 --> 00:39:05.679
Um, just hang in there a few more, a few more months.
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:11.519
Um, and if you are feeling sad, I know seasonal depression is about to come up for a lot of people.
00:39:11.679 --> 00:39:19.599
Um, I know you guys might not take this seriously, but if you ever need somebody to talk to or somebody to cry to, I promise I will answer.
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:21.199
I promise I will listen.
00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:28.400
There is not anything you could tell me that I haven't one probably already been through or relate to or understand.
00:39:28.719 --> 00:39:31.920
So yeah, I'll see you guys in the next episode.
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Bye.
