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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jana Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast. Hi, guys.
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Speaker 2: Hi.
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Speaker 3: So we are just batching podcasts right now, and we're going to talk about our fall break, which I hope, again, this is where I always say I am the biggest superstitious person. I never like to talk about something because I'm like, what if something happens or whatever? But we have to record before we go on fall break because no one wants to record when we're on fall break. So this is going to air. And we have just have had said fall break, hopefully.
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Speaker 1: And hopefully a great time.
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Speaker 2: Is there anything we'd like to manifest? I know.
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Speaker 3: So we'll talk about that later. But so we're going to just, yeah. So stay tuned for that episode because we will get to it. Most likely something will happen.
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Speaker 2: Oh, something always does happen. Something always does. And my location's TBD. So that'll be exciting. Drum roll for where I end up. Exactly. Down the street.
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Speaker 1: But we'll know. We don't know.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. But besides that, guys, I have to just bring something to the table.
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Speaker 4: Okay?
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Speaker 2: Okay. When we have a topic for the table.
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Speaker 3: And I want to just start out by saying there is no judgment in this.
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Speaker 2: There is no, like, nothing. Okay.
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Speaker 1: Alrighty.
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Speaker 2: At all. Sometimes that makes me feel a little, yeah.
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Speaker 3: No, because it's hard because when it involves, it's hard when it involves something. motherhood stuff, right? Because I never wanted to look like, I have been judged up, down, left, right, side to side, buying food jars to not, you know, to not breastfeed.
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Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like from day one. Do you remember?
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Speaker 1: Oh yes, I remember. Jolie back 2016.
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Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
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Speaker 1: That's where it all started. I'm like, how? Yeah.
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Speaker 2: I vote you most likely to be judged on this podcast.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Like we get to kind of sneak below the radar. Like you've been judged the most for sure.
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Speaker 5: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: It's, it's, you know what? It's for whatever reason, I don't know where you're going with this, but it seems to be moms judging other moms. Right.
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Speaker 3: And so that's why I'm baby stepping into this because I am by no means judging what I saw. It's just, it made me think this is an interesting podcast topic. I want to bring it to the table.
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Speaker 2: We have no prep. I do.
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Speaker 1: I love these. These are my favorite, honestly.
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Speaker 3: But when it involves another mom, how is that not us? Like, because it's.
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Speaker 1: See my dilemma? Yes. I think you can easily say it's not something that I would do without judging what they are doing, maybe? I don't know.
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Speaker 2: Slippery slope.
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Speaker 3: Slippery.
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Speaker 1: I hear you. But like, again, I understood when I didn't breastfeed that... Joe, whoever, like down the, would never.
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Speaker 2: Joanne Schmoe.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, Joanne Schmoe. I know, I was. Joe, you know.
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Speaker 2: Unless her name's JoJo.
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Speaker 1: Okay, we really just went there. Sorry.
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Speaker 2: Now that'll get us everyone real fired up.
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Speaker 1: I understand that Joanne down the street might not, that is not for her and she might not ever do that. But I don't necessarily think that she's judging me because I'm, I think it becomes judgmental.
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Speaker 2: Oh, I think there's still judgment in there.
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Speaker 4: I do too.
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Speaker 1: I think there's some people, but not everyone.
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Speaker 2: Not everyone. I agree.
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Speaker 1: Like I didn't breastfeed. I'm not judging anyone who's breastfeeding. You know what I mean?
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Speaker 2: I tried, and now I've got lopsided breasts to show for it.
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Speaker 1: I think it goes to a point. I think you cannot do something and- Hey.
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Speaker 2: Time out. You tried to judge? No, I tried to breastfeed, and now I have lopsided breasts. Oh, okay.
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Speaker 1: But you see what I'm saying? I think that there's a point where that switches over to judgment. Again, I think you cannot do something someone doesn't do and not judge them for it.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: With that being said- Now I'm curious, though. Am I going to judge this mom? I'm kidding.
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Speaker 3: No, no, but here's where I think the line is that I can- bring it to the table is because I've, I've thought about my own parenting within it.
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Speaker 5: Sure.
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Speaker 3: So I've reflected, okay, well I had a little, huh. But then I'm like, well, I possibly do the same thing at times.
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Speaker 1: Right, right, right, right.
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Speaker 2: So I think that's where I'm bringing more of like a discussion, right? Yeah.
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Speaker 1: That doesn't sound judgmental at all.
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Speaker 3: There, I'm not going to say where, cause I don't, again, I, it's, it's here nor there where I saw this or, but, When I ran into a kid.
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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, why aren't you in school? Like, are you sick?
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Speaker 3: They're like, no, I'm staying home because my mom needed a babysitter to babysit the kids.
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Speaker 1: Oh, so younger kids needed the older to babysit. I mean, needed the older kid to babysit the younger.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Okay.
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Speaker 2: Following. Following. And so I thought to myself, I'm like, oh, wow.
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Speaker 3: Okay. And I, but I'm like, well, what is it? So I'm like, at what age? And then how much are we asking of our kids? Because I know, and I thought about this the other day. I'm like, well, when I was making dinner, I was on and out. Jace plays with Roman all the time. Like he, he's incredible with him. And so is Jolie too. Like, so, so, so good. When I'm like, Hey, can you watch Roman? There's a lot of times when I'm like, Hey, can you watch Roman for me? I need to make dinner.
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Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
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Speaker 3: Like Alan's not back yet. Can you please help with Roman? Or hey, mommy needs like 20 minutes. Do you mind playing with Roman up in the.
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Speaker 2: Playroom or whatever?
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Speaker 3: But at what point does it become that we shouldn't be asking our kids to be doing that and then keeping them home from school to watch the baby when your kids should be in fifth grade in school?
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Speaker 1: Interesting topic.
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Speaker 2: It is interesting. If you don't like it, we can pass.
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Speaker 1: No, I like it.
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Speaker 2: I do.
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Speaker 1: I'll say this.
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Speaker 2: I'll start here. One of the biggest things I was very and have been super intentional about with the big kids because the biggies are like love is so much older, just like Like it's not their job to watch our kids. And that's always been my thing.
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Speaker 3: I'm like, I need help sometimes, but it's not your job.
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Speaker 2: Now I know when they get older, like.
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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my kids definitely babysit. For sure.
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Speaker 3: But like you haven't pulled them out of school, I don't believe. Maybe you have, I don't know. But like, and no judgment. I'm just saying, what's the line with having your kids walk? Because in my opinion, it's not on the kids to watch Roman for me. To a certain extent.
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Speaker 2: Well, and that's like, I've always been really careful. I tell love and legend all the time. I chose to have this baby. You got a sibling. Like this is your sister. Because I didn't want it to be, because love is so very compliant. Like if I ask for a diapy or if I asked for, you know, she would get it in two seconds. But I also, the minute she'd be like, I could tell her body would shift. I'd be like, you know what?
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Speaker 1: I got it.
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Speaker 2: Because I just didn't want them to feel Like, I had a baby in their home having to take care of it.
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Speaker 1: Right.
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Speaker 3: Or they're... Because you hear the stories of the kids like, I became like the mom or whatever.
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Speaker 2: And then they don't want.
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Speaker 3: Kids because they became like the... And I was over-parentified. Is that the word?
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Speaker 2: Like, I was really, at a young age, had to be quite adult. And so I try really hard to protect them from that in every way I can. I'm processing the question because I am the homeschool mom. So there's a lot of this, like... a lot of the mentality around what you're bringing up is very homeschool like in so many ways, like the village raises the village. Um, and I have witnessed actually friends of ours. I was a little blown away because they have four kids and the expectancy she had of a child that's the exact ages love to handle the baby. Like we were chatting and she was like, um, I can't even think of a fake name, so I won't. But she was like, hey, grab the baby. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. And I'm like, well, that's not her responsibility. She's also playing. And we're in the season of not getting a full conversation in because we're chasing kids. It's just acceptance for me. You and I will always be chasing a baby. So I never expect for my kids to table their play dates so that they can do that. But I do feel like I'm exposed to more of that maybe than... In our little ecosystem because of the homeschooling. There's a lot of like, you're older, you help them with school. You're older, you babysit them.
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Speaker 1: I'm processing how I really feel about it. I don't have a strong, so like for me, for instance, my older kids were never watching Ramsey as a baby that I can really remember.
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Speaker 2: What's their age gap, Kit Kat?
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Speaker 1: Well, I mean, Kayden is what, 17 and she's seven years older than Ramsey. Now, could he and would he hold her when she was little and I went to the other room and did stuff? But he never babysat as a baby. Like if they're ever babysitting Ramsey, she's fifth grade. Essentially, she's taking care of herself. It's just night or I'm further away. And it might be, hey, make sure she's eating dinner and goes to bed. It's not a huge responsibility ever really in our house. And more it's Emmy. And a lot of times if it's longer, I will pay them. I'm like, hey, I'd rather pay you than pay an actual babysitter to come. So I'll pay you to do it. Having said that, I don't know that I fully disagree to an extent with that mentality. I think if you, it's situational. So I'm going back to this and thinking, okay, what would make me have to have my child stay home from school to keep my baby? Something serious came up that I couldn't get a babysitter in time or I can't afford to get a babysitter. I need my older child to watch my, my child. That's where my two thoughts kind of go.
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Speaker 2: Cause I know both of those weren't.
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Speaker 1: Weren't true. That's what, that's what I'm saying. So I would, uh, initially go towards those. I think that's where in the past that has come for a lot of people. I basically raised my kids, or my siblings. I think a lot of that came out of necessity when we were younger and not having the means. I mean, heck, at this point, I'm sure my parents couldn't really afford much of babysitters. Are we lumpy men.
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Speaker 2: Work with this? Because that's the one thing I could think of. If you had to miss work and you couldn't miss work.
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Speaker 1: I'm saying, I think that there are... could be, I don't know this situation. I don't know these people. I think there can be situations where that might happen. Hey, guess what? I have to go to work. I had an emergency come up. I can't find a babysitter. You're just going to have to stay home and keep your, there's no other choice. Not saying that.
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Speaker 2: With a baby.
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Speaker 1: I mean, I was babysitting at 10, so it's hard to say. Ramsey's never babysat, you know, so... But she has a good friend that absolutely watches her sister, and she's incredible with her.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Incredible.
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Speaker 2: My whole thing is like taking out of school, but yeah. Oh, wait. So is the... Are they alone, fifth grade, in the baby? Or is the mom just in the... There.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 3: There. Uh-huh.
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Speaker 1: Oh, the mom was there.
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Speaker 2: Uh-huh.
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Speaker 4: Okay.
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Speaker 1: Okay, that changes... Um, yeah. And like works like content. So she's working at the house. I mean, so that, that takes away the, the emergency. And that's what I'm saying. I just, in case some people have had to do that before for those situations, I, you know.
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Speaker 2: Um, yeah, I think that we gave a great deal of gracious.
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Speaker 1: We did. We did.
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Speaker 2: Yeah. I struggle. I do struggle. I don't know.
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Speaker 3: Sometimes I'll say this too, where I, there'll be times when it was a I wouldn't say so much now, but let's just say last summer, like they were like, Oh, can you go hang out with, you know, Roman, um, jump on the trampoline. But then I started, if something was to happen on their.
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Speaker 1: Watch, I thought a lot about this.
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Speaker 3: I was like, so I, I was like, I can't, I can't do it. I, I, it's what if they double bounce and like he falls or so, or there he's falls from the whatever. Like I, I, that's been my biggest thing. Why I don't, because that, is not the responsibility to have to live with something if something happened.
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Speaker 1: That was kind of mine for a long time too. Like Kaden was more than capable. Shoot, Emmy's been more than capable for years. I try to do it less for that reason also. It is, it's a lot of responsibility. Well, I always.
00:12:02
Speaker 2: Remember like love has a 10 year old mentality, right? Like I, this is actually a funny brief story, but I, legend left his water bottle at our community pool. And so I said to love, here's your big moment. I'm running him up to get the water bottle and you're in charge of.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: You're in charge of the line. This is going to be a seven minute total expedition, right? I get home. Don't die. I vote.
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Speaker 1: I do vote.
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Speaker 2: Currently in our current status and everyone's characteristics that love is voted most likely to be responsible in our house, without a doubt. Legend TBD.
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Speaker 1: So.
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Speaker 2: In my brain, I've taken the most of the liability with me in the buggy to go get the water bottle. I come home, hot glue gun's been plugged in and she's creating boats and there's a big water mess. And I was like, seven minutes. I gave you seven minutes with your kid sister, but she was trying to craft. So I share that because I think like even in their best and most confident and responsible, they're still just 10.
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Speaker 4: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Fifth grade, 10, 11. It is hard for me because I think about it. Ramsey couldn't baby. She's great with babies, actually. She's fantastic with kids. She couldn't babysit right now. She could maybe be a mom's helper when they're there or whatever. But I'm like, but then I go back to me and I'm like, I was babysitting at 10.
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Speaker 2: We were all doing everything.
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Speaker 1: Which is wild.
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Speaker 4: I know.
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Speaker 1: But anyway, okay, well, that was an interesting topic.
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Speaker 3: I say, yeah, just, you know, because it just made me think, I'm like, well, am I asking my kids for too much? And so I was curious what y'all's thoughts were about, you know, just when you have, Little ones. And I don't want it to feel like it's just on them. The one more little piece, which is like, well, I'm getting paid. So I'd rather be getting paid than going to school, you know?
00:13:42
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, you know.
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Speaker 4: Okay.
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Speaker 2: Well, I do appreciate.
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Speaker 4: There you go.
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Speaker 2: Like hustle. Yeah. You know, but. She's having a PTO day. Pay time off. That's interesting.
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Speaker 1: I honestly don't know that I've ever known anyone to do this or have heard this. So I don't know. Are we missing a piece? I could see the homeschooling part. This is new to me. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:03
Speaker 3: But hey.
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Speaker 1: To each their own.
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Speaker 2: That's correct. Again, no judgment.
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Speaker 3: It just made me question, am I asking maybe the kids too much to watch Roman? But then I saw that and I'm like, well, maybe not.
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Speaker 1: I think there's an element of it that is good and helpful for them to learn how to take care of younger ones too. I sometimes think, I'm like, gosh, Emmy, do you really not, like when she started babysitting, I'm like, do you really not know how to put the diaper on right? Did I not teach you? And I guess I never had her change her diapers looking back. And I'm like, I should have. I should have taken those moments to teach her more for babysitting, for when she's a mom, for, so I definitely think that there's a balance. It doesn't mean they have to be responsible for everything, but I do think it can teach them a lot too.
00:14:53
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:14:53
Speaker 1: But that's different.
00:15:06
Speaker 5: Hi, everyone.
00:15:06
Speaker 1: This is Jenny Garth and OMG.
00:15:09
Speaker 5: It is the conversation Beverly Hills 90210 fans have been waiting for.
00:15:14
Speaker 2: You've never been on OMG.
00:15:16
Speaker 4: No, this is my maiden voyage.
00:15:18
Speaker 1: I go one-on-one with the Jason Priestley.
00:15:20
Speaker 4: 37 years. I think this is the first time I've ever been to your house.
00:15:25
Speaker 2: Nothing is off limits.
00:15:26
Speaker 5: Do you think that Brandon and Kelly should have ended up together?
00:15:30
Speaker 4: Who is your favorite girlfriend?
00:15:31
Speaker 5: And did you know at the end of season eight that you wanted to leave? Jason answers your burning Brandon Walsh questions and so much more.
00:15:41
Speaker 4: We've actually never talked about this. It was crazy days. Like, it was nuts. Oh my God, the 90s.
00:15:50
Speaker 5: Don't miss Brandon and Kelly together again, out now. Listen to 90210MG on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:16:07
Speaker 2: Anything bugging anybody? Want to unpin one of yours? I have a situation, but I am going to give it one week. You said you had like eight the other day. So what about your seventh one? I have a lot.
00:16:20
Speaker 1: We keep pinning.
00:16:20
Speaker 2: They're mostly my wines.
00:16:22
Speaker 1: This is wines. Oh, this is wine.
00:16:24
Speaker 4: We're here. We've entered.
00:16:25
Speaker 2: We've entered.
00:16:29
Speaker 1: Are we unpinning or no?
00:16:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me look at my pin list.
00:16:32
Speaker 1: If not, I can just go right in.
00:16:34
Speaker 4: Oh, okay.
00:16:35
Speaker 1: I mean, it's the same as the moms though. It's not exciting. No, I just- I just want to kill everybody in my house.
00:16:40
Speaker 2: I am trying to just be a little bit more, my hormones are so dysregulated that I just want to talk about everything all the time and I don't care. And then like 48 hours later, I'm like, oof.
00:16:51
Speaker 1: Could have waited.
00:16:52
Speaker 2: Could have taken a dramatic pause. Well, let's start with Kat.
00:16:54
Speaker 4: Okay.
00:16:55
Speaker 2: And then we'll go over to you because I don't have a wine today.
00:16:58
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. I feel like y'all have whined about this before, but I'm not usually there. I like it when you join in. And the other day I left the house and I told Nick, I go, you know, this is going to be a topic on the podcast. He's like, oh, I'm very well aware.
00:17:14
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:17:15
Speaker 1: Is literally how that conversation went. So we've been redoing the girls' rooms. So it's been a mess.
00:17:19
Speaker 2: Oh, cute. Like upgrading them?
00:17:21
Speaker 1: Yeah. Like repainting them and upgrading them. It's been a process because they both want to do it. Emmy's is pretty much done. We were doing Ramsey's. He painted it for him. I'm so thankful. Thank you, Nick, for painting. Then we're kind of getting into this, you know, there's still some stuff I need to organize and go through and Ramsey needs to, but there's still a bookshelf that's been upstairs for about a week. And okay, that's fine. He needs Caden to help him. It's pretty heavy. Like I'm not going to be much help with this bookshelf. I helped with the other things. So I leave the other day to go to practice. Cleaners were a key word. We're supposed to come on Thursday.
00:17:53
Speaker 2: Today's Thursday. Today.
00:17:55
Speaker 1: So I go to practice with Ramsey. I leave. I'm like, I had already told him because they did not go to school on Tuesday because of testing. So all the freshmen basically did not go to school on Tuesday because all the upperclassmen are testing and they sit in a study hall for four hours. Everybody doesn't go to school. I let her have friends over.
00:18:12
Speaker 2: Such a fun mom, Kat.
00:18:14
Speaker 1: I said no for like 18 hours. And then I like gave in, right? They were great, all the things. But the next day she wanted to do something social. I said, you have to clean your room. And you know, so-and-so can stay. You have to clean your room, blah, blah, blah. So all this is happening in the Tuesday timeframe. So Tuesday night, I'm like, I'm taking Ramsey to practice. I asked Nick, Three times. I said, if you could do some cleaning, it might've even been five, but I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say three. It might've been five. I was like, when Kayden gets home, we need the bookcase down. I said, if you could do anything to help me with cleaning so I don't have to do it all tomorrow, that would be helpful. You could do any cleaning right before I leave, right before I walk out. Cause we already talked about the moms. I was supposed to be more specific, right? Anything, right? I get home at 9.30. Okay. And first I go up, I'm like, the bookcase is still there. Okay. Caden, I think stayed out late and then has to go straight to bed for, I'll, I'll give that one. I get it. Like Caden's tired, right?
00:19:13
Speaker 2: I'm going to interrupt you to say, I don't think I have that much grace. The minute I see that bookcase.
00:19:16
Speaker 1: Oh, just wait.
00:19:17
Speaker 3: I'm.
00:19:17
Speaker 1: Well, we'll just wait. So I see the bookcase. I am done. I see the bookcase and I'm like, okay, bookcase is still here. I'm like, has anything been cleaned up?
00:19:25
Speaker 2: You know?
00:19:25
Speaker 1: So then I go to Emmy's. outside of her room and all her dirty dishes are outside of her room yes I do let them take I know most people don't I do let them take food up there they're supposed to bring it right down never happens here we are the.
00:19:38
Speaker 2: Dirty dishes I said no more food in the same.
00:19:41
Speaker 1: One day I'll the problem is it's more convenient for us or they'll just hang out in the kitchen yeah I say it every time Nick's like then just don't let them I said I will give in because I want them out of the kitchen. So they'll take it up. So all of the like dirty dishes are set outside of her. And I was like, okay, that does not count, but okay. It's fine. Then I'll walk in her room and it's like, I'd say half-assed clean.
00:20:04
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:20:05
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, And it just hits me. It just, it just, it just hits me. It boils and it boils and it boils. And then I'll walk into, and I was like, okay, it could be worse. Like, it's not that bad. It's just not clean. You know, it really wasn't that bad. It really wasn't that bad. So that's where I was like, I need to keep my cool. You know, I'm more mad at the fact that I'm seeing that Nick has not cleaned, but like, then I walked in her room. Right. Then I go into her bathroom and there's a diet Coke can and a bow. Just a Diet Coke can and a bow. I pick up the Diet Coke. I lose my mind. Like, mind went, I lost it. And I was like, this is not a Euclid room. And, you know, I feel terrible. I mean, I lost it, right? And then I start yelling to downstairs. Caden's already asleep. He's got football early in the morning. Kid goes to bed early, right? This is the funniest part. I'll tell you in a minute. So I'm yelling downstairs. I'm like, hey, Nick. And I'm literally yelling downstairs. And he's like, yeah. And he's like, I can't hear you.
00:20:59
Speaker 2: Nope.
00:20:59
Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
00:21:00
Speaker 1: So that's where it just gets real bad. Maybe he wouldn't hear you because the vacuum was on?
00:21:04
Speaker 5: Nick!
00:21:04
Speaker 1: And I start screaming. And I'm like, if somebody could help me around here. And I'm like losing my mind. Losing my mind. And he's just like sitting in there. And then she's like, you know, whatever. I go into poor Ramsey's room I had just put to bed. And she's in her room picking up haulers because her room was also a mess. So Nick comes in, pissed off. And I'm like, of course, somehow this is like, you know.
00:21:28
Speaker 2: Why is he pissed? Wait, is this like he's gaslighting you at the cleaning?
00:21:32
Speaker 1: I don't know. He's pissed off. And I'm like, probably because I'm losing my mind.
00:21:36
Speaker 2: Nick, now's the time for you to turn off the podcast if you'd like to stay friends.
00:21:39
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:21:39
Speaker 2: I don't think you're going to like what you're going to hear following.
00:21:42
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, should I be screaming at them?
00:21:44
Speaker 2: No.
00:21:44
Speaker 1: Does that do us any good?
00:21:45
Speaker 2: At this point, honestly, I mean, no, but yeah, you know what I'm saying?
00:21:48
Speaker 4: Right.
00:21:48
Speaker 3: Like I did that a couple of weeks ago before I went to that weird prayer cult thing that I didn't know was a weird prayer cult thing. I can't wait for you to tell the masses about that. But I'm just saying like, I mean, I, my lid blew off.
00:22:01
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:22:02
Speaker 3: But honestly, what came after the, was a little bit more of helpful stuff.
00:22:06
Speaker 2: And I noticed it a bit.
00:22:07
Speaker 1: It's kind of, yeah.
00:22:08
Speaker 2: So I'm saying like, no, I hate that we have to get there. Well, that's, yeah, that's where I was.
00:22:12
Speaker 3: But sometimes we can't, I couldn't control it when I did mine.
00:22:18
Speaker 1: It's like, it feels like a boil and then it just, it's bad.
00:22:21
Speaker 2: It's very out of body for me. Like I can see me raging. So when you did, what did he do?
00:22:25
Speaker 1: So he comes up and he's like, basically like, He wasn't mean about it. He's like, I got it. I got it. But the problem is, is I kind of kept going. I was like, I asked you three times.
00:22:35
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:22:35
Speaker 1: Like, why is no one helping? Like, I don't understand. How else do I do this? How can I be nicer? How can I be more direct? How can I ask? And I just kind of kept saying that and doing that. And he's like, I got it. I got it. So he was just wanted me to stop. I do get that. But he was like, I didn't have time tonight. I was working on something fair. You know how long it took him to do what he did? Five minutes. literally five minutes because he was so pissy too, that he literally did the little bit that I needed in five minutes. I'm like, it took you five minutes.
00:23:17
Speaker 3: My question for you is how does it metabolize in your brain? Because for me, it's that I'm not valued. that my time isn't valuable to them.
00:23:24
Speaker 2: And that may not be fair because they're just little and one's an artist. So maybe that's not what they're thinking. But when I have to pick that stuff up, I'm furious because I'm like, you don't even value my time. My time and energy have no, like, that's why I get mad.
00:23:36
Speaker 1: I mean, Nick does a lot. So I don't think my brain necessarily goes there. I'm just so mad at all of them.
00:23:43
Speaker 2: That it's all left for you.
00:23:44
Speaker 1: Yes. I'm like, where did we get here?
00:23:46
Speaker 3: So that feels disrespectful that it's all left for you. And for you, it's the disrespect. Yes.
00:23:50
Speaker 1: And I told Emmy that because I, the next day I was silent. I was, you know, I just, I didn't even want to talk. And usually I go like into it, but I was silent. But then I picked her up from school, which I wasn't supposed to. She was supposed to. And I told her that I said, I do, I do, I do for you. I say yes, I say yes 95% of the time. And then you not doing that is literally just telling me that you do not respect me. You are disrespecting me. And that's what it is for me. I'm like, if I ask something, because I don't ask much, I don't even really care if my house is clean 90% of the time.
00:24:23
Speaker 2: And you're so cool.
00:24:24
Speaker 1: Yeah. Like it's, you know, it is, it's not disgusting, but it's also like, if there's stuff everywhere, whatever, we're all doing stuff. But I get to a point where at what point is anyone in this family going to step up and help now? And I feel bad saying that because Nick does do certain things, but he does the things I don't even think about or care about.
00:24:42
Speaker 3: What did you want Nick to do when you said, can you do anything to clean? anything but here's the thing this is my whole point with.
00:24:49
Speaker 1: Like maybe that was my problem.
00:24:51
Speaker 3: No but it wasn't specific enough okay i cannot having said that no i know i'm not defending nick i'm not defending yeah no no i know you did ask him to move the bookshelf but the anything part they don't know what the anything part is yeah it's like hey i need you to do can you clean up emmy's room or whatever it is because that's where it's like again the 25 minutes They don't set the time.
00:25:10
Speaker 2: They don't know what the anything is.
00:25:12
Speaker 1: Right.
00:25:12
Speaker 3: That's what's so frustrating because it's like, don't you see how anything is everything?
00:25:15
Speaker 1: Well, once he got upstairs, he got, here's the thing. He is clean. So once he got upstairs, he was just as mad about the mess. You know, so it's like, that's what I'm saying. Like, you don't like it either. So why am I the only one though that's stuck to do it?
00:25:31
Speaker 2: Or the one that gets frustrated with it too.
00:25:32
Speaker 1: Right, right. And then I'm always the one. He doesn't, he can fly off it. You know, if there's a lot of food up in a room, he'll like lose his mind. But if I have to define anything, then we are already all in trouble. that's where I get frustrated because if I, I'm not leaving you a list to be an adult in this house. I'm about to, I'm about to just start leaving list. When I leave next week, there will be a list.
00:25:52
Speaker 2: I just really do.
00:25:53
Speaker 3: Cause there's just things that like, they don't see, you know, funny Alan, he sent, he sent me this video. No, no, no.
00:26:01
Speaker 2: He sent me this video.
00:26:02
Speaker 3: And I will say in my gasket, he was just like, like was so kind in it, which I was just like, not that I didn't expect that, but I was just like, Oh wow. Like, he didn't say you're being crazy or anything like that. And I know Nick didn't say that to you either, but like, I was probably expecting that. But when he actually embraced it with warmth, that's when I was like, right, right, right. But he had sent a video the other day in the garage and he's like, this sock has been sitting here for three days and you know, it's been left for me to clean up.
00:26:34
Speaker 2: I'm like, ha ha ha.
00:26:35
Speaker 3: But it's funny that you noticed it because it is, there's certain things that I'll be like, let's see how long this takes or whatever. But like, I do think, they don't, because they don't see what needs to be cleaned or what they think might not be messy. Like they do need like, hey, I need you to clean the kitchen.
00:26:49
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:26:49
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm not going to be clean to your liking though, or my liking. Right. Most times.
00:26:53
Speaker 1: But I'm just, I'm fine with that.
00:26:55
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:26:55
Speaker 1: I mean, I genuinely am. Except for that one time for the cleaners and he said he cleaned and I was like, uh, wait, what?
00:27:01
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:27:02
Speaker 1: But then I will say, Every time I, and this is where, my whole point of all of this, though, is not to be a Nick bashing fest at all, honestly. Like, he did what, you know, and it was Emmy, it was kind of everyone, and then poor little Ramsey, who was like, I mean, her shit was everywhere, too. Like, everyone's was everywhere. When I say everyone, I mean, it was hilarious. I walked into there, and she was, like, quietly trying to, like, move. She told me I scared her, though, and that made me sad. I know, it did make me sad. I was like, oh, I'm sorry, but, like, I really need people to help. Because, like, hers is really the worst, because hers is in different rooms, right? at least like the teenagers, mostly it's like kitchen or like in their rooms. She goes to all the rooms and destroys them, you know? So I'm like, things need to change and change. It does usually get better after I blow up, but I'm like, but then I'm the crazy mom that blew up.
00:27:48
Speaker 2: I know.
00:27:48
Speaker 1: And I'm like, why do we, why do we want to get me to this point? Because then we all feel like crap. I feel terrible because I yelled at you. You feel terrible because you know, you think that we're fighting and that I'm mad at you and all the things I'm like, why do we just have to not get to this point?
00:28:03
Speaker 2: Grab your dishes, you filthy pigs.
00:28:05
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:28:06
Speaker 2: I have, so one of my wines actually goes piggybacks, but if we've whined too much, just we can stop. Yep. We'll definitely. Just remember this. I have it pinned. Okay.
00:28:17
Speaker 1: It has to do with the second.
00:28:19
Speaker 2: Half of this.
00:28:20
Speaker 3: Yes. Ooh, I like this. Stay tuned for the second half of it. It is a valid second half and it's on my list.
00:28:28
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like, you know, Again, all very relatable. It's very relatable. I just don't, I think I might be on an island with mine. So it'll be interesting to see what you guys say. Probably not. Someone will be on that same island with you. I just think that person's not on the couch maybe.
00:28:43
Speaker 3: But I just agree with what you're saying, Catherine, of the why do we have to get to that point?
00:28:47
Speaker 1: Why do we have to get to that point? And maybe, and let me say, I know that that is on me in the sense in how I react. I can control, I should be able to control not yelling.
00:28:59
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:29:00
Speaker 1: And it's something I want to... Because I've never yelled like that before. Honestly, that would... Because I'm not starting my period. It felt like I was starting my period. I'm like, I'm not starting my period. So it did feel a little bit that way. But I do tend to get very loud in general. And so then when I am mad, it gets magnified. It gets louder. And I don't like that about myself. And I tell my kids that. And I apologize for the yelling. The sentiment is the same. I'm not happy that these things didn't happen. I am not ever happy with myself. And then I couldn't go to sleep all night because I feel bad. You know, I hate yelling at people in my family. It's the worst. It's the worst feeling.
00:29:33
Speaker 3: And then they, that's like what they then think of. I mean, I do the same thing with Jace. Like when I, again, when I got back from that weird cult prayer session thing in Madrigal, you know, he was still awake and he was like, mommy, I'm sorry. I was like, buddy, it is not. I was like, this is just what, you know, and I'm sorry, you know.
00:29:47
Speaker 2: And I love you. And you're saying blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:29:48
Speaker 1: And it's hard. And the repair is good, but it's just like, can, can we all try to help not get us to that point? And we will try to not lose our minds.
00:29:57
Speaker 2: Yes, that would be great.
00:29:59
Speaker 3: And we will come back from this session and this podcast and we'll talk about fall break if there was things that have happened and your pin and then possibly my cult prayer session that I had no idea what it was called.
00:30:14
Speaker 2: But maybe some funny experiences. Yeah. I cannot wait for you to share. Stay tuned.
00:30:19
Speaker 4: Bye.
00:30:19
Speaker 3: Bye.
00:30:20
Speaker 2: Bye.
00:30:20
Speaker 4: Bye.
00:30:20
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jana Kramer, an iHeartRadio podcast. Hi, guys.
00:00:07
Speaker 2: Hi.
00:00:08
Speaker 3: So we are just batching podcasts right now, and we're going to talk about our fall break, which I hope, again, this is where I always say I am the biggest superstitious person. I never like to talk about something because I'm like, what if something happens or whatever? But we have to record before we go on fall break because no one wants to record when we're on fall break. So this is going to air. And we have just have had said fall break, hopefully.
00:00:35
Speaker 1: And hopefully a great time.
00:00:36
Speaker 2: Is there anything we'd like to manifest? I know.
00:00:39
Speaker 3: So we'll talk about that later. But so we're going to just, yeah. So stay tuned for that episode because we will get to it. Most likely something will happen.
00:00:49
Speaker 2: Oh, something always does happen. Something always does. And my location's TBD. So that'll be exciting. Drum roll for where I end up. Exactly. Down the street.
00:00:57
Speaker 1: But we'll know. We don't know.
00:00:58
Speaker 2: Yeah. But besides that, guys, I have to just bring something to the table.
00:01:04
Speaker 4: Okay?
00:01:05
Speaker 2: Okay. When we have a topic for the table.
00:01:07
Speaker 3: And I want to just start out by saying there is no judgment in this.
00:01:11
Speaker 2: There is no, like, nothing. Okay.
00:01:15
Speaker 1: Alrighty.
00:01:15
Speaker 2: At all. Sometimes that makes me feel a little, yeah.
00:01:17
Speaker 3: No, because it's hard because when it involves, it's hard when it involves something. motherhood stuff, right? Because I never wanted to look like, I have been judged up, down, left, right, side to side, buying food jars to not, you know, to not breastfeed.
00:01:36
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like from day one. Do you remember?
00:01:39
Speaker 1: Oh yes, I remember. Jolie back 2016.
00:01:41
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
00:01:43
Speaker 1: That's where it all started. I'm like, how? Yeah.
00:01:46
Speaker 2: I vote you most likely to be judged on this podcast.
00:01:49
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:01:50
Speaker 2: Like we get to kind of sneak below the radar. Like you've been judged the most for sure.
00:01:55
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:01:55
Speaker 1: It's, it's, you know what? It's for whatever reason, I don't know where you're going with this, but it seems to be moms judging other moms. Right.
00:02:02
Speaker 3: And so that's why I'm baby stepping into this because I am by no means judging what I saw. It's just, it made me think this is an interesting podcast topic. I want to bring it to the table.
00:02:13
Speaker 2: We have no prep. I do.
00:02:14
Speaker 1: I love these. These are my favorite, honestly.
00:02:17
Speaker 3: But when it involves another mom, how is that not us? Like, because it's.
00:02:22
Speaker 1: See my dilemma? Yes. I think you can easily say it's not something that I would do without judging what they are doing, maybe? I don't know.
00:02:29
Speaker 2: Slippery slope.
00:02:30
Speaker 3: Slippery.
00:02:31
Speaker 1: I hear you. But like, again, I understood when I didn't breastfeed that... Joe, whoever, like down the, would never.
00:02:39
Speaker 2: Joanne Schmoe.
00:02:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, Joanne Schmoe. I know, I was. Joe, you know.
00:02:43
Speaker 2: Unless her name's JoJo.
00:02:44
Speaker 1: Okay, we really just went there. Sorry.
00:02:46
Speaker 2: Now that'll get us everyone real fired up.
00:02:48
Speaker 1: I understand that Joanne down the street might not, that is not for her and she might not ever do that. But I don't necessarily think that she's judging me because I'm, I think it becomes judgmental.
00:02:58
Speaker 2: Oh, I think there's still judgment in there.
00:02:59
Speaker 4: I do too.
00:02:59
Speaker 1: I think there's some people, but not everyone.
00:03:01
Speaker 2: Not everyone. I agree.
00:03:02
Speaker 1: Like I didn't breastfeed. I'm not judging anyone who's breastfeeding. You know what I mean?
00:03:07
Speaker 2: I tried, and now I've got lopsided breasts to show for it.
00:03:09
Speaker 1: I think it goes to a point. I think you cannot do something and- Hey.
00:03:12
Speaker 2: Time out. You tried to judge? No, I tried to breastfeed, and now I have lopsided breasts. Oh, okay.
00:03:15
Speaker 1: But you see what I'm saying? I think that there's a point where that switches over to judgment. Again, I think you cannot do something someone doesn't do and not judge them for it.
00:03:25
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:03:26
Speaker 1: With that being said- Now I'm curious, though. Am I going to judge this mom? I'm kidding.
00:03:29
Speaker 3: No, no, but here's where I think the line is that I can- bring it to the table is because I've, I've thought about my own parenting within it.
00:03:41
Speaker 5: Sure.
00:03:42
Speaker 3: So I've reflected, okay, well I had a little, huh. But then I'm like, well, I possibly do the same thing at times.
00:03:50
Speaker 1: Right, right, right, right.
00:03:50
Speaker 2: So I think that's where I'm bringing more of like a discussion, right? Yeah.
00:03:53
Speaker 1: That doesn't sound judgmental at all.
00:03:55
Speaker 3: There, I'm not going to say where, cause I don't, again, I, it's, it's here nor there where I saw this or, but, When I ran into a kid.
00:04:06
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, why aren't you in school? Like, are you sick?
00:04:09
Speaker 3: They're like, no, I'm staying home because my mom needed a babysitter to babysit the kids.
00:04:17
Speaker 1: Oh, so younger kids needed the older to babysit. I mean, needed the older kid to babysit the younger.
00:04:24
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:04:24
Speaker 1: Okay.
00:04:25
Speaker 2: Following. Following. And so I thought to myself, I'm like, oh, wow.
00:04:29
Speaker 3: Okay. And I, but I'm like, well, what is it? So I'm like, at what age? And then how much are we asking of our kids? Because I know, and I thought about this the other day. I'm like, well, when I was making dinner, I was on and out. Jace plays with Roman all the time. Like he, he's incredible with him. And so is Jolie too. Like, so, so, so good. When I'm like, Hey, can you watch Roman? There's a lot of times when I'm like, Hey, can you watch Roman for me? I need to make dinner.
00:04:53
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
00:04:53
Speaker 3: Like Alan's not back yet. Can you please help with Roman? Or hey, mommy needs like 20 minutes. Do you mind playing with Roman up in the.
00:05:00
Speaker 2: Playroom or whatever?
00:05:01
Speaker 3: But at what point does it become that we shouldn't be asking our kids to be doing that and then keeping them home from school to watch the baby when your kids should be in fifth grade in school?
00:05:19
Speaker 1: Interesting topic.
00:05:20
Speaker 2: It is interesting. If you don't like it, we can pass.
00:05:23
Speaker 1: No, I like it.
00:05:25
Speaker 2: I do.
00:05:26
Speaker 1: I'll say this.
00:05:26
Speaker 2: I'll start here. One of the biggest things I was very and have been super intentional about with the big kids because the biggies are like love is so much older, just like Like it's not their job to watch our kids. And that's always been my thing.
00:05:42
Speaker 3: I'm like, I need help sometimes, but it's not your job.
00:05:45
Speaker 2: Now I know when they get older, like.
00:05:46
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my kids definitely babysit. For sure.
00:05:48
Speaker 3: But like you haven't pulled them out of school, I don't believe. Maybe you have, I don't know. But like, and no judgment. I'm just saying, what's the line with having your kids walk? Because in my opinion, it's not on the kids to watch Roman for me. To a certain extent.
00:06:05
Speaker 2: Well, and that's like, I've always been really careful. I tell love and legend all the time. I chose to have this baby. You got a sibling. Like this is your sister. Because I didn't want it to be, because love is so very compliant. Like if I ask for a diapy or if I asked for, you know, she would get it in two seconds. But I also, the minute she'd be like, I could tell her body would shift. I'd be like, you know what?
00:06:27
Speaker 1: I got it.
00:06:28
Speaker 2: Because I just didn't want them to feel Like, I had a baby in their home having to take care of it.
00:06:33
Speaker 1: Right.
00:06:34
Speaker 3: Or they're... Because you hear the stories of the kids like, I became like the mom or whatever.
00:06:38
Speaker 2: And then they don't want.
00:06:39
Speaker 3: Kids because they became like the... And I was over-parentified. Is that the word?
00:06:43
Speaker 2: Like, I was really, at a young age, had to be quite adult. And so I try really hard to protect them from that in every way I can. I'm processing the question because I am the homeschool mom. So there's a lot of this, like... a lot of the mentality around what you're bringing up is very homeschool like in so many ways, like the village raises the village. Um, and I have witnessed actually friends of ours. I was a little blown away because they have four kids and the expectancy she had of a child that's the exact ages love to handle the baby. Like we were chatting and she was like, um, I can't even think of a fake name, so I won't. But she was like, hey, grab the baby. Hey, baby. Hey, baby. And I'm like, well, that's not her responsibility. She's also playing. And we're in the season of not getting a full conversation in because we're chasing kids. It's just acceptance for me. You and I will always be chasing a baby. So I never expect for my kids to table their play dates so that they can do that. But I do feel like I'm exposed to more of that maybe than... In our little ecosystem because of the homeschooling. There's a lot of like, you're older, you help them with school. You're older, you babysit them.
00:08:09
Speaker 1: I'm processing how I really feel about it. I don't have a strong, so like for me, for instance, my older kids were never watching Ramsey as a baby that I can really remember.
00:08:20
Speaker 2: What's their age gap, Kit Kat?
00:08:22
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, Kayden is what, 17 and she's seven years older than Ramsey. Now, could he and would he hold her when she was little and I went to the other room and did stuff? But he never babysat as a baby. Like if they're ever babysitting Ramsey, she's fifth grade. Essentially, she's taking care of herself. It's just night or I'm further away. And it might be, hey, make sure she's eating dinner and goes to bed. It's not a huge responsibility ever really in our house. And more it's Emmy. And a lot of times if it's longer, I will pay them. I'm like, hey, I'd rather pay you than pay an actual babysitter to come. So I'll pay you to do it. Having said that, I don't know that I fully disagree to an extent with that mentality. I think if you, it's situational. So I'm going back to this and thinking, okay, what would make me have to have my child stay home from school to keep my baby? Something serious came up that I couldn't get a babysitter in time or I can't afford to get a babysitter. I need my older child to watch my, my child. That's where my two thoughts kind of go.
00:09:27
Speaker 2: Cause I know both of those weren't.
00:09:29
Speaker 1: Weren't true. That's what, that's what I'm saying. So I would, uh, initially go towards those. I think that's where in the past that has come for a lot of people. I basically raised my kids, or my siblings. I think a lot of that came out of necessity when we were younger and not having the means. I mean, heck, at this point, I'm sure my parents couldn't really afford much of babysitters. Are we lumpy men.
00:09:51
Speaker 2: Work with this? Because that's the one thing I could think of. If you had to miss work and you couldn't miss work.
00:09:56
Speaker 1: I'm saying, I think that there are... could be, I don't know this situation. I don't know these people. I think there can be situations where that might happen. Hey, guess what? I have to go to work. I had an emergency come up. I can't find a babysitter. You're just going to have to stay home and keep your, there's no other choice. Not saying that.
00:10:16
Speaker 2: With a baby.
00:10:17
Speaker 1: I mean, I was babysitting at 10, so it's hard to say. Ramsey's never babysat, you know, so... But she has a good friend that absolutely watches her sister, and she's incredible with her.
00:10:28
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:10:29
Speaker 1: Incredible.
00:10:30
Speaker 2: My whole thing is like taking out of school, but yeah. Oh, wait. So is the... Are they alone, fifth grade, in the baby? Or is the mom just in the... There.
00:10:38
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:10:39
Speaker 3: There. Uh-huh.
00:10:40
Speaker 1: Oh, the mom was there.
00:10:41
Speaker 2: Uh-huh.
00:10:43
Speaker 4: Okay.
00:10:43
Speaker 1: Okay, that changes... Um, yeah. And like works like content. So she's working at the house. I mean, so that, that takes away the, the emergency. And that's what I'm saying. I just, in case some people have had to do that before for those situations, I, you know.
00:11:03
Speaker 2: Um, yeah, I think that we gave a great deal of gracious.
00:11:07
Speaker 1: We did. We did.
00:11:09
Speaker 2: Yeah. I struggle. I do struggle. I don't know.
00:11:16
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'll say this too, where I, there'll be times when it was a I wouldn't say so much now, but let's just say last summer, like they were like, Oh, can you go hang out with, you know, Roman, um, jump on the trampoline. But then I started, if something was to happen on their.
00:11:33
Speaker 1: Watch, I thought a lot about this.
00:11:34
Speaker 3: I was like, so I, I was like, I can't, I can't do it. I, I, it's what if they double bounce and like he falls or so, or there he's falls from the whatever. Like I, I, that's been my biggest thing. Why I don't, because that, is not the responsibility to have to live with something if something happened.
00:11:50
Speaker 1: That was kind of mine for a long time too. Like Kaden was more than capable. Shoot, Emmy's been more than capable for years. I try to do it less for that reason also. It is, it's a lot of responsibility. Well, I always.
00:12:02
Speaker 2: Remember like love has a 10 year old mentality, right? Like I, this is actually a funny brief story, but I, legend left his water bottle at our community pool. And so I said to love, here's your big moment. I'm running him up to get the water bottle and you're in charge of.
00:12:17
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:12:19
Speaker 2: You're in charge of the line. This is going to be a seven minute total expedition, right? I get home. Don't die. I vote.
00:12:28
Speaker 1: I do vote.
00:12:29
Speaker 2: Currently in our current status and everyone's characteristics that love is voted most likely to be responsible in our house, without a doubt. Legend TBD.
00:12:39
Speaker 1: So.
00:12:40
Speaker 2: In my brain, I've taken the most of the liability with me in the buggy to go get the water bottle. I come home, hot glue gun's been plugged in and she's creating boats and there's a big water mess. And I was like, seven minutes. I gave you seven minutes with your kid sister, but she was trying to craft. So I share that because I think like even in their best and most confident and responsible, they're still just 10.
00:13:02
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:13:03
Speaker 1: Fifth grade, 10, 11. It is hard for me because I think about it. Ramsey couldn't baby. She's great with babies, actually. She's fantastic with kids. She couldn't babysit right now. She could maybe be a mom's helper when they're there or whatever. But I'm like, but then I go back to me and I'm like, I was babysitting at 10.
00:13:19
Speaker 2: We were all doing everything.
00:13:20
Speaker 1: Which is wild.
00:13:21
Speaker 4: I know.
00:13:21
Speaker 1: But anyway, okay, well, that was an interesting topic.
00:13:23
Speaker 3: I say, yeah, just, you know, because it just made me think, I'm like, well, am I asking my kids for too much? And so I was curious what y'all's thoughts were about, you know, just when you have, Little ones. And I don't want it to feel like it's just on them. The one more little piece, which is like, well, I'm getting paid. So I'd rather be getting paid than going to school, you know?
00:13:42
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, you know.
00:13:43
Speaker 4: Okay.
00:13:44
Speaker 2: Well, I do appreciate.
00:13:45
Speaker 4: There you go.
00:13:45
Speaker 2: Like hustle. Yeah. You know, but. She's having a PTO day. Pay time off. That's interesting.
00:13:53
Speaker 1: I honestly don't know that I've ever known anyone to do this or have heard this. So I don't know. Are we missing a piece? I could see the homeschooling part. This is new to me. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:03
Speaker 3: But hey.
00:14:04
Speaker 1: To each their own.
00:14:05
Speaker 2: That's correct. Again, no judgment.
00:14:09
Speaker 3: It just made me question, am I asking maybe the kids too much to watch Roman? But then I saw that and I'm like, well, maybe not.
00:14:21
Speaker 1: I think there's an element of it that is good and helpful for them to learn how to take care of younger ones too. I sometimes think, I'm like, gosh, Emmy, do you really not, like when she started babysitting, I'm like, do you really not know how to put the diaper on right? Did I not teach you? And I guess I never had her change her diapers looking back. And I'm like, I should have. I should have taken those moments to teach her more for babysitting, for when she's a mom, for, so I definitely think that there's a balance. It doesn't mean they have to be responsible for everything, but I do think it can teach them a lot too.
00:14:53
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:14:53
Speaker 1: But that's different.
00:15:06
Speaker 5: Hi, everyone.
00:15:06
Speaker 1: This is Jenny Garth and OMG.
00:15:09
Speaker 5: It is the conversation Beverly Hills 90210 fans have been waiting for.
00:15:14
Speaker 2: You've never been on OMG.
00:15:16
Speaker 4: No, this is my maiden voyage.
00:15:18
Speaker 1: I go one-on-one with the Jason Priestley.
00:15:20
Speaker 4: 37 years. I think this is the first time I've ever been to your house.
00:15:25
Speaker 2: Nothing is off limits.
00:15:26
Speaker 5: Do you think that Brandon and Kelly should have ended up together?
00:15:30
Speaker 4: Who is your favorite girlfriend?
00:15:31
Speaker 5: And did you know at the end of season eight that you wanted to leave? Jason answers your burning Brandon Walsh questions and so much more.
00:15:41
Speaker 4: We've actually never talked about this. It was crazy days. Like, it was nuts. Oh my God, the 90s.
00:15:50
Speaker 5: Don't miss Brandon and Kelly together again, out now. Listen to 90210MG on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:16:07
Speaker 2: Anything bugging anybody? Want to unpin one of yours? I have a situation, but I am going to give it one week. You said you had like eight the other day. So what about your seventh one? I have a lot.
00:16:20
Speaker 1: We keep pinning.
00:16:20
Speaker 2: They're mostly my wines.
00:16:22
Speaker 1: This is wines. Oh, this is wine.
00:16:24
Speaker 4: We're here. We've entered.
00:16:25
Speaker 2: We've entered.
00:16:29
Speaker 1: Are we unpinning or no?
00:16:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me look at my pin list.
00:16:32
Speaker 1: If not, I can just go right in.
00:16:34
Speaker 4: Oh, okay.
00:16:35
Speaker 1: I mean, it's the same as the moms though. It's not exciting. No, I just- I just want to kill everybody in my house.
00:16:40
Speaker 2: I am trying to just be a little bit more, my hormones are so dysregulated that I just want to talk about everything all the time and I don't care. And then like 48 hours later, I'm like, oof.
00:16:51
Speaker 1: Could have waited.
00:16:52
Speaker 2: Could have taken a dramatic pause. Well, let's start with Kat.
00:16:54
Speaker 4: Okay.
00:16:55
Speaker 2: And then we'll go over to you because I don't have a wine today.
00:16:58
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. I feel like y'all have whined about this before, but I'm not usually there. I like it when you join in. And the other day I left the house and I told Nick, I go, you know, this is going to be a topic on the podcast. He's like, oh, I'm very well aware.
00:17:14
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:17:15
Speaker 1: Is literally how that conversation went. So we've been redoing the girls' rooms. So it's been a mess.
00:17:19
Speaker 2: Oh, cute. Like upgrading them?
00:17:21
Speaker 1: Yeah. Like repainting them and upgrading them. It's been a process because they both want to do it. Emmy's is pretty much done. We were doing Ramsey's. He painted it for him. I'm so thankful. Thank you, Nick, for painting. Then we're kind of getting into this, you know, there's still some stuff I need to organize and go through and Ramsey needs to, but there's still a bookshelf that's been upstairs for about a week. And okay, that's fine. He needs Caden to help him. It's pretty heavy. Like I'm not going to be much help with this bookshelf. I helped with the other things. So I leave the other day to go to practice. Cleaners were a key word. We're supposed to come on Thursday.
00:17:53
Speaker 2: Today's Thursday. Today.
00:17:55
Speaker 1: So I go to practice with Ramsey. I leave. I'm like, I had already told him because they did not go to school on Tuesday because of testing. So all the freshmen basically did not go to school on Tuesday because all the upperclassmen are testing and they sit in a study hall for four hours. Everybody doesn't go to school. I let her have friends over.
00:18:12
Speaker 2: Such a fun mom, Kat.
00:18:14
Speaker 1: I said no for like 18 hours. And then I like gave in, right? They were great, all the things. But the next day she wanted to do something social. I said, you have to clean your room. And you know, so-and-so can stay. You have to clean your room, blah, blah, blah. So all this is happening in the Tuesday timeframe. So Tuesday night, I'm like, I'm taking Ramsey to practice. I asked Nick, Three times. I said, if you could do some cleaning, it might've even been five, but I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say three. It might've been five. I was like, when Kayden gets home, we need the bookcase down. I said, if you could do anything to help me with cleaning so I don't have to do it all tomorrow, that would be helpful. You could do any cleaning right before I leave, right before I walk out. Cause we already talked about the moms. I was supposed to be more specific, right? Anything, right? I get home at 9.30. Okay. And first I go up, I'm like, the bookcase is still there. Okay. Caden, I think stayed out late and then has to go straight to bed for, I'll, I'll give that one. I get it. Like Caden's tired, right?
00:19:13
Speaker 2: I'm going to interrupt you to say, I don't think I have that much grace. The minute I see that bookcase.
00:19:16
Speaker 1: Oh, just wait.
00:19:17
Speaker 3: I'm.
00:19:17
Speaker 1: Well, we'll just wait. So I see the bookcase. I am done. I see the bookcase and I'm like, okay, bookcase is still here. I'm like, has anything been cleaned up?
00:19:25
Speaker 2: You know?
00:19:25
Speaker 1: So then I go to Emmy's. outside of her room and all her dirty dishes are outside of her room yes I do let them take I know most people don't I do let them take food up there they're supposed to bring it right down never happens here we are the.
00:19:38
Speaker 2: Dirty dishes I said no more food in the same.
00:19:41
Speaker 1: One day I'll the problem is it's more convenient for us or they'll just hang out in the kitchen yeah I say it every time Nick's like then just don't let them I said I will give in because I want them out of the kitchen. So they'll take it up. So all of the like dirty dishes are set outside of her. And I was like, okay, that does not count, but okay. It's fine. Then I'll walk in her room and it's like, I'd say half-assed clean.
00:20:04
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:20:05
Speaker 1: And so I'm like, And it just hits me. It just, it just, it just hits me. It boils and it boils and it boils. And then I'll walk into, and I was like, okay, it could be worse. Like, it's not that bad. It's just not clean. You know, it really wasn't that bad. It really wasn't that bad. So that's where I was like, I need to keep my cool. You know, I'm more mad at the fact that I'm seeing that Nick has not cleaned, but like, then I walked in her room. Right. Then I go into her bathroom and there's a diet Coke can and a bow. Just a Diet Coke can and a bow. I pick up the Diet Coke. I lose my mind. Like, mind went, I lost it. And I was like, this is not a Euclid room. And, you know, I feel terrible. I mean, I lost it, right? And then I start yelling to downstairs. Caden's already asleep. He's got football early in the morning. Kid goes to bed early, right? This is the funniest part. I'll tell you in a minute. So I'm yelling downstairs. I'm like, hey, Nick. And I'm literally yelling downstairs. And he's like, yeah. And he's like, I can't hear you.
00:20:59
Speaker 2: Nope.
00:20:59
Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
00:21:00
Speaker 1: So that's where it just gets real bad. Maybe he wouldn't hear you because the vacuum was on?
00:21:04
Speaker 5: Nick!
00:21:04
Speaker 1: And I start screaming. And I'm like, if somebody could help me around here. And I'm like losing my mind. Losing my mind. And he's just like sitting in there. And then she's like, you know, whatever. I go into poor Ramsey's room I had just put to bed. And she's in her room picking up haulers because her room was also a mess. So Nick comes in, pissed off. And I'm like, of course, somehow this is like, you know.
00:21:28
Speaker 2: Why is he pissed? Wait, is this like he's gaslighting you at the cleaning?
00:21:32
Speaker 1: I don't know. He's pissed off. And I'm like, probably because I'm losing my mind.
00:21:36
Speaker 2: Nick, now's the time for you to turn off the podcast if you'd like to stay friends.
00:21:39
Speaker 3: Yes.
00:21:39
Speaker 2: I don't think you're going to like what you're going to hear following.
00:21:42
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, should I be screaming at them?
00:21:44
Speaker 2: No.
00:21:44
Speaker 1: Does that do us any good?
00:21:45
Speaker 2: At this point, honestly, I mean, no, but yeah, you know what I'm saying?
00:21:48
Speaker 4: Right.
00:21:48
Speaker 3: Like I did that a couple of weeks ago before I went to that weird prayer cult thing that I didn't know was a weird prayer cult thing. I can't wait for you to tell the masses about that. But I'm just saying like, I mean, I, my lid blew off.
00:22:01
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:22:02
Speaker 3: But honestly, what came after the, was a little bit more of helpful stuff.
00:22:06
Speaker 2: And I noticed it a bit.
00:22:07
Speaker 1: It's kind of, yeah.
00:22:08
Speaker 2: So I'm saying like, no, I hate that we have to get there. Well, that's, yeah, that's where I was.
00:22:12
Speaker 3: But sometimes we can't, I couldn't control it when I did mine.
00:22:18
Speaker 1: It's like, it feels like a boil and then it just, it's bad.
00:22:21
Speaker 2: It's very out of body for me. Like I can see me raging. So when you did, what did he do?
00:22:25
Speaker 1: So he comes up and he's like, basically like, He wasn't mean about it. He's like, I got it. I got it. But the problem is, is I kind of kept going. I was like, I asked you three times.
00:22:35
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:22:35
Speaker 1: Like, why is no one helping? Like, I don't understand. How else do I do this? How can I be nicer? How can I be more direct? How can I ask? And I just kind of kept saying that and doing that. And he's like, I got it. I got it. So he was just wanted me to stop. I do get that. But he was like, I didn't have time tonight. I was working on something fair. You know how long it took him to do what he did? Five minutes. literally five minutes because he was so pissy too, that he literally did the little bit that I needed in five minutes. I'm like, it took you five minutes.
00:23:17
Speaker 3: My question for you is how does it metabolize in your brain? Because for me, it's that I'm not valued. that my time isn't valuable to them.
00:23:24
Speaker 2: And that may not be fair because they're just little and one's an artist. So maybe that's not what they're thinking. But when I have to pick that stuff up, I'm furious because I'm like, you don't even value my time. My time and energy have no, like, that's why I get mad.
00:23:36
Speaker 1: I mean, Nick does a lot. So I don't think my brain necessarily goes there. I'm just so mad at all of them.
00:23:43
Speaker 2: That it's all left for you.
00:23:44
Speaker 1: Yes. I'm like, where did we get here?
00:23:46
Speaker 3: So that feels disrespectful that it's all left for you. And for you, it's the disrespect. Yes.
00:23:50
Speaker 1: And I told Emmy that because I, the next day I was silent. I was, you know, I just, I didn't even want to talk. And usually I go like into it, but I was silent. But then I picked her up from school, which I wasn't supposed to. She was supposed to. And I told her that I said, I do, I do, I do for you. I say yes, I say yes 95% of the time. And then you not doing that is literally just telling me that you do not respect me. You are disrespecting me. And that's what it is for me. I'm like, if I ask something, because I don't ask much, I don't even really care if my house is clean 90% of the time.
00:24:23
Speaker 2: And you're so cool.
00:24:24
Speaker 1: Yeah. Like it's, you know, it is, it's not disgusting, but it's also like, if there's stuff everywhere, whatever, we're all doing stuff. But I get to a point where at what point is anyone in this family going to step up and help now? And I feel bad saying that because Nick does do certain things, but he does the things I don't even think about or care about.
00:24:42
Speaker 3: What did you want Nick to do when you said, can you do anything to clean? anything but here's the thing this is my whole point with.
00:24:49
Speaker 1: Like maybe that was my problem.
00:24:51
Speaker 3: No but it wasn't specific enough okay i cannot having said that no i know i'm not defending nick i'm not defending yeah no no i know you did ask him to move the bookshelf but the anything part they don't know what the anything part is yeah it's like hey i need you to do can you clean up emmy's room or whatever it is because that's where it's like again the 25 minutes They don't set the time.
00:25:10
Speaker 2: They don't know what the anything is.
00:25:12
Speaker 1: Right.
00:25:12
Speaker 3: That's what's so frustrating because it's like, don't you see how anything is everything?
00:25:15
Speaker 1: Well, once he got upstairs, he got, here's the thing. He is clean. So once he got upstairs, he was just as mad about the mess. You know, so it's like, that's what I'm saying. Like, you don't like it either. So why am I the only one though that's stuck to do it?
00:25:31
Speaker 2: Or the one that gets frustrated with it too.
00:25:32
Speaker 1: Right, right. And then I'm always the one. He doesn't, he can fly off it. You know, if there's a lot of food up in a room, he'll like lose his mind. But if I have to define anything, then we are already all in trouble. that's where I get frustrated because if I, I'm not leaving you a list to be an adult in this house. I'm about to, I'm about to just start leaving list. When I leave next week, there will be a list.
00:25:52
Speaker 2: I just really do.
00:25:53
Speaker 3: Cause there's just things that like, they don't see, you know, funny Alan, he sent, he sent me this video. No, no, no.
00:26:01
Speaker 2: He sent me this video.
00:26:02
Speaker 3: And I will say in my gasket, he was just like, like was so kind in it, which I was just like, not that I didn't expect that, but I was just like, Oh wow. Like, he didn't say you're being crazy or anything like that. And I know Nick didn't say that to you either, but like, I was probably expecting that. But when he actually embraced it with warmth, that's when I was like, right, right, right. But he had sent a video the other day in the garage and he's like, this sock has been sitting here for three days and you know, it's been left for me to clean up.
00:26:34
Speaker 2: I'm like, ha ha ha.
00:26:35
Speaker 3: But it's funny that you noticed it because it is, there's certain things that I'll be like, let's see how long this takes or whatever. But like, I do think, they don't, because they don't see what needs to be cleaned or what they think might not be messy. Like they do need like, hey, I need you to clean the kitchen.
00:26:49
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:26:49
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm not going to be clean to your liking though, or my liking. Right. Most times.
00:26:53
Speaker 1: But I'm just, I'm fine with that.
00:26:55
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:26:55
Speaker 1: I mean, I genuinely am. Except for that one time for the cleaners and he said he cleaned and I was like, uh, wait, what?
00:27:01
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:27:02
Speaker 1: But then I will say, Every time I, and this is where, my whole point of all of this, though, is not to be a Nick bashing fest at all, honestly. Like, he did what, you know, and it was Emmy, it was kind of everyone, and then poor little Ramsey, who was like, I mean, her shit was everywhere, too. Like, everyone's was everywhere. When I say everyone, I mean, it was hilarious. I walked into there, and she was, like, quietly trying to, like, move. She told me I scared her, though, and that made me sad. I know, it did make me sad. I was like, oh, I'm sorry, but, like, I really need people to help. Because, like, hers is really the worst, because hers is in different rooms, right? at least like the teenagers, mostly it's like kitchen or like in their rooms. She goes to all the rooms and destroys them, you know? So I'm like, things need to change and change. It does usually get better after I blow up, but I'm like, but then I'm the crazy mom that blew up.
00:27:48
Speaker 2: I know.
00:27:48
Speaker 1: And I'm like, why do we, why do we want to get me to this point? Because then we all feel like crap. I feel terrible because I yelled at you. You feel terrible because you know, you think that we're fighting and that I'm mad at you and all the things I'm like, why do we just have to not get to this point?
00:28:03
Speaker 2: Grab your dishes, you filthy pigs.
00:28:05
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:28:06
Speaker 2: I have, so one of my wines actually goes piggybacks, but if we've whined too much, just we can stop. Yep. We'll definitely. Just remember this. I have it pinned. Okay.
00:28:17
Speaker 1: It has to do with the second.
00:28:19
Speaker 2: Half of this.
00:28:20
Speaker 3: Yes. Ooh, I like this. Stay tuned for the second half of it. It is a valid second half and it's on my list.
00:28:28
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like, you know, Again, all very relatable. It's very relatable. I just don't, I think I might be on an island with mine. So it'll be interesting to see what you guys say. Probably not. Someone will be on that same island with you. I just think that person's not on the couch maybe.
00:28:43
Speaker 3: But I just agree with what you're saying, Catherine, of the why do we have to get to that point?
00:28:47
Speaker 1: Why do we have to get to that point? And maybe, and let me say, I know that that is on me in the sense in how I react. I can control, I should be able to control not yelling.
00:28:59
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:29:00
Speaker 1: And it's something I want to... Because I've never yelled like that before. Honestly, that would... Because I'm not starting my period. It felt like I was starting my period. I'm like, I'm not starting my period. So it did feel a little bit that way. But I do tend to get very loud in general. And so then when I am mad, it gets magnified. It gets louder. And I don't like that about myself. And I tell my kids that. And I apologize for the yelling. The sentiment is the same. I'm not happy that these things didn't happen. I am not ever happy with myself. And then I couldn't go to sleep all night because I feel bad. You know, I hate yelling at people in my family. It's the worst. It's the worst feeling.
00:29:33
Speaker 3: And then they, that's like what they then think of. I mean, I do the same thing with Jace. Like when I, again, when I got back from that weird cult prayer session thing in Madrigal, you know, he was still awake and he was like, mommy, I'm sorry. I was like, buddy, it is not. I was like, this is just what, you know, and I'm sorry, you know.
00:29:47
Speaker 2: And I love you. And you're saying blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:29:48
Speaker 1: And it's hard. And the repair is good, but it's just like, can, can we all try to help not get us to that point? And we will try to not lose our minds.
00:29:57
Speaker 2: Yes, that would be great.
00:29:59
Speaker 3: And we will come back from this session and this podcast and we'll talk about fall break if there was things that have happened and your pin and then possibly my cult prayer session that I had no idea what it was called.
00:30:14
Speaker 2: But maybe some funny experiences. Yeah. I cannot wait for you to share. Stay tuned.
00:30:19
Speaker 4: Bye.
00:30:19
Speaker 3: Bye.
00:30:20
Speaker 2: Bye.
00:30:20
Speaker 4: Bye.
00:30:20
Speaker 3: Bye.
