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Chapter thirteen, The Eustace Diamonds by Antony Trollop. This is
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a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
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For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
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Chapter thirteen, The Eustace Diamonds by Antony Trollop, showing what
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Frank Greystock did. Frank Greystock escaped from the dovecote before
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Lady Fawn had returned. He had not made his visit
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to Richmond with any purpose of seeing Lucy Morris, or
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of saying to her when he did see her anything special,
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of saying anything that should or anything that should not
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have been said. He had gone there, in truth, simply
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because his cousin had asked him, and because it was
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almost a duty on his part to see his cousin
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on the momentous occasion of this new engagement. But he
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had declared to himself that Lady Fawn was a fool,
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and that to see Lucy again would be very pleasant
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see her. Of course, I'll see her, he had said,
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Why should I be prevented from seeing her? Now he
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had seen her, and as he returned by the train
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to London, he acknowledged to himself that it was no
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longer in his power to promote his fortune by marriage.
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He had at last said that to Lucy, which made
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it impossible for him to offer his hand to any
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other woman. He had not, in truth asked her to
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be his wife, but he had told her that he
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loved her and could never love any other woman. He
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had asked for no answer to this assurance, and then
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he had left her. In the course of that afternoon.
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He did question himself as to his conduct to this girl,
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and subjected himself to some of the rigors of a
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cross examination. He was not a man who could think
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of a girl as the one human being whom he
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loved above all others, and yet looked forward with equanimity
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to the idea of doing her an injury. He could
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understand that a man unable to marry should be reticent
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as to his feelings, supposing him to have been weak
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enough to succumb to a passion which could only mar
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his prospects. He was frank enough in owning to himself
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that he had been thus weak. The weakness had come
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upon himself early in life, and was there an established
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fact the girl was to him unlike any other girl
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or any man. There was to him a sweetness in
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her companionship which he could not analyze. She was not beautiful.
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She had none of the charms of fashion. He had
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never seen her well dressed according to the ideas of
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dress which he found to be prevailing in the world.
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She was a little thing who was a man's wife,
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could attract no attention by figure of form or outward manner,
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one who had quietly submitted herself to the position of
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a governess, and who did not seem to think that
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in doing so she obtained less than her due. But
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yet he knew her to be better than all the rest.
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For him, at any rate, she was better than all
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the rest. Her little hand was cool and sweet to him. Sometimes,
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when he was heated and hard at work, he would
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fancy how it would be with him if she were
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by him, and would lay it on his brow. There
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was a sparkle in her eye that had to him
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more of sympathy in it than could be conveyed by
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all the other eyes in the world. There was an
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expression in her mouth when she smiled, which was more
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eloquent to him than any sound. There was a reality
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and truth about her, which came home to him and
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made themselves known to him as firm rocks which could
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not be shaken. He had never declared to himself that
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deceit or hypocrisy and a woman was especially abominable. As
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a rule, he looked for it at women, and would
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say that some amount of affectation was necessary to a
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woman's character. He knew that his cousin Lizzie was a
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little liar, that she was, as Lucy had said, a
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pretty animal that would turn and bite, And yet he
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liked his cousin Lizzie. He did not want women to
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be perfect, so he would say, but Lucy Maris, in
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his eyes, was perfect. And when he told her that
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she was ever the queen who reigned in those castles
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in the air, which he built as others build them,
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he told her no more than the truth. He had
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fallen into these feelings and could not now avoid them
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or be quit of them. But he could have been
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silent respecting them. He knew that in former days down
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at Bobsborough he had not been altogether silent. When he
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had first seen her at fawn Court, he had not
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been altogether silent, But he had been warned away from
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fawn Court, and in that very warning there was conveyed,
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as it were, an absolution from them the effect of
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words hitherto spoken. Though he had called Lady Fawn an
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old fool, he had known that it was so, had
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after a fashion, perceived her wisdom, and had regarded himself
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as a man free to decide without disgrace, that he
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might abandon ideas of ecstatic love and look for a
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rich wife, presuming himself to be reticent for the future
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in reference to his darling Lucy, he might do as
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he pleased with himself. Thus there had come a moment
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in which he had determined that he would ask his
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rich cousin to marry him. In that little project, he
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had been interrupted, and the reader knows what had come
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of it. Lord Fawn's success had not in the least
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annoyed him. He had only half resolved in regard to
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his cousin. She was very beautiful, no doubt, and there
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was her income. But he also knew that those teeth
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would bite, and that those claws would scratch. But Lord
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Fawn's success had given a turn to his thoughts, and
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had made him think for a moment that if a
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man loved, he should be true to his love. The
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reader also knows what had come of that, how at
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last he had not been reticent. He had not asked
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Lucy to be his wife, but he had said that,
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which made it impossible that he should marry any other
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woman without dishonor. As he thought of what he had
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done himself, he tried to remember whether Lucy had said
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a word expressive of affection for himself. She had, in truth,
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spoken very few words, and he could remember almost every
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one of them. Have I? She had asked when he
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had told her that she had ever been the princess
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reigning in his castles, And there had been a joy
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in the question which she had not attempted to conceal.
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She had not hesitated at all. She had not told
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him that she loved him, But there had been something
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sweeter than such protestation in the question. She had asked him,
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Is it indeed true? She had said that I have
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been placed where all my joy and all my glory lies.
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It was not in her to tell a lie to him,
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even by tone. She had intended to say nothing of
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her love, but he knew that it had all been told.
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Have I? He repeated, the words to himself a dozen times,
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and as he did so, he could hear her voice. Certainly,
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there never was a voice that brought home to the
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hearer so strong a sense of its own truth. Why
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should he not at once make up his mind to
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marry her? He could do it, There was no doubt
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of that. It was possible for him to alter the
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whole manner of his life, to give up his clubs,
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to give up even Parliament if the need to do
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so was there, and to live as a married man
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on the earnings of his profession. There was no need
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why he should regard himself as a poor man. Two things,
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no doubt, were against his regarding himself as a rich man.
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Ever since he had commenced life in London, he had
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been more or less in debt, and then, unfortunately, he
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had acquired a seat in Parliament at a period of
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his career in which the dangers of such a position
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were greater than the advantages. Nevertheless, he could earn an
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income on which he and his wife, were he to marry,
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could live in all comfort. And as to his debts,
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if he would set his shoulder to the work, they
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might be paid off in a twelve month. There was
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nothing in the prospect which would frighten Lucy, though there
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might be a question whether he possessed the courage needed
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for so violent a change. He had chambers in the Temple,
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he lived in rooms which he hired from month to
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month in one of the big hotels at the West End.
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And he dined at his club or at the house
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when he was not dining with a friend. He was
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an expensive and luxurious mode of life, and one from
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the effects of which a man is prone to drift
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very quickly into selfishness. He was by no means given
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to drinking, but he was already learning to like good wine.
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Small economies in reference to a higher gloves, umbrellas and
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railway fares were unknown to him. Sixpences and shillings were
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things with which, in his mind it was grievous to
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have to burden the thoughts. The Greystocks had all lived
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after that fashion. Even the Dean himself was not free
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from the charge of extravagance. All this Frank knew, and
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he did not hesitate to tell himself that he must
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make a great change if he meant to marry Lucy Morris.
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And he was wise enough to know that the change
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would become more difficult every day that it was postponed.
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Hitherto the question had been an open question with him,
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Could it now be an open question any longer? As
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a man of honor? Was he not bound to share
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his lot with Lucy Morris? At evening That Saturday evening,
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it so happened that he met John Eustace at a
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club to which they both belonged, and they dined together.
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They had long known each other and had been thrown
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into closer intimacy by the marriage between Sir Florian and Lizzie.
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John Eusace had never been fond of Lizzie, and now,
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in truth liked her less than ever, but he did
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like Lizzie's cousin and felt that possibly Frank might be
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of use to him in the growing difficulty of managing
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the heir's property and looking after the heir's interests. You've
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let the widow slip through your fingers, he said to Frank,
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as they sat together at the table. I told you
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Lord Fawn was to be the lucky man, said Frank.
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I know you did. I hadn't seen it. I can
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only say I wish it had been the other way.
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Why so Fawn isn't a bad fellow. No, not exactly
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a bad fellow. He isn't you know what I call
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a good fellow in the first place. He's marrying her
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altogether for her money, which is just what you advised
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me to do. I thought you really liked her. And
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then Fawn will always be afraid of her and won't
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be in the least afraid of us. We shall have
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to fight him, and he won't fight her. He's a
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cantankerous fellow, is Fawn when he's not afraid of his adversary.
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But why should there be any fighting? Eustace paused a
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minute and rubbed his face and considered the matter before
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he answered, She is troublesome, you know, he said, what Lizzie, Yes,
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And I begin to be afraid she'll give us as
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much as we know how to do. I was with
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camperdown today. I'm blessed if she hasn't begun to cut
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down a whole side of a forested portrait. She has
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no more right to touch the temper except for repairs
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about the place than you have now. She lives for
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fifty years. Asked greystock is none to be cut? Yes,
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by consent of course, a regular cutting for the year
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is done year by year. That's as regular as the rents,
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and the produce is sold by the acre. But she
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is marking the old oaks. What the deuce can she
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want money for? Fawn will put all that right. He'll
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have to do it, said Eustace. Since she has been
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down with that old lady Fawn, she has written a
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note to Camperdown, after leaving all his letters unanswered for
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the last twelve month, to tell him that Lord Fawn
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is to have nothing to do with her property and
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that certain people called Mowbray and Mopus are her lawyers.
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Camperdown is in an awful way about it. Lord Fawn
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will put it all right, said Frank. Camperdown is afraid
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that he won't. They've met twice since the engagement was made,
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and Camperdown says that at the last meeting Fawn gave
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himself airs or was at any rate unpleasant. There were
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words about those diamonds. You don't mean to say that Lord
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Fawn wants to keep your brother's family jewels. Camperdown didn't
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say that exactly, but Fawn made no offer of giving
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them up. I wasn't there and only heard what Camperdown
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told me. Camperdown thinks he's afraid of her. I shouldn't
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wonder at that in the least, said Frank. I know
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there'll be trouble, continued Eustace, and Fawn won't be able
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to help us through it. She's a strong, willed, cunning, obstinate,
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clever little creature. Camperdown swears there'll be two men for her,
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but I almost doubt it. And therefore you wish I
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were going to marry her? Yes, I do. You might
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manage her. The money comes from the Eustace property, and
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I'd sooner it should go to you than a half hearted,
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numb fingered, cold blooded wig like Fawn. I don't like
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cunning women, said Frank. Does bargains go, It wouldn't be
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a bad one, said Eustace. She's very young, has a
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noble jointure, and is as handsome as she can stand.
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It's too good a thing for Fawn, too good for
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any wig. When Eustace left him, Greystock lit his cigar
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and walked with it in his mouth from pal Mall
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to the temple. He often worked there at night when
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he was not bound to be in the house, or
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when the house was not sitting, and he was now
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intent on mastering the mysteries of some much complicated legal
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case which had been confided to him, in order that
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he might present it to a jury. Enveloped in increased mystery.
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But is he he thought rather of matrimony than of law,
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And he thought especially of matrimony as it was about
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to affect Lord Fawn. Could a man be justified in
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marrying for money, or have rational ground for expecting that
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he might make himself happy by doing so? He kept
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muttering to himself as he went the Quaker's advice to
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the old farmer, don't thou marry for money, but go
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o where money is? He muttered it as condemning the advice,
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rather than accepting it. He could look out and see
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two altogether different kinds of life before him, both of
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which had their allurements. There was the Belgravia cum Pimlico life,
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the scene of which might extend itself to South Kensington,
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enveloping the parks, and coming round over Park Lane and
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through Grosvenor Square and Barkley Square back to Piccadilly. Within
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this he might live with lords and countesses and rich folk.
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Generally going out to the very best dinner parties, avoiding
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stupid people. Having everything the world could give except a
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wife and family and home of his own. All this
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he could achieve by the work which would certainly fall
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in his way, and by means of that position in
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the world which he had already attained by his wits.
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And the wife, with the family, and the house of
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his own might be forthcoming, should it ever come in
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his way to form an attachment with a wealthy woman.
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He knew how dangerous were the charms of such a
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life to this man. He knew how dangerous were the
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charms of such a life as this to a man
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growing old among the flesh pots without anyone to depend
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on him. He had seen what becomes of the man
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who was always dining out at sixty. But he might
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avoid that. Don't now marry for money, but go o
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where money is. And then there was that other outlook,
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the scene of which was laid somewhere north of Oxford's,
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and the glory of which consisted in Lucy's smile, in
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Lucy's hand, and Lucy's kiss as he returned home, weary
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from his work. There are men and some women who
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pass their lives without knowing what it is to be
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or to have been in love. They not improbably marry.
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The men do at least, and make good average husbands.
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Their wives are useful to them, and they learn to
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feel that a woman, being a wife, is entitled to
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all the respect, protection, and honor which a man can
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give or procure for her. Such men, no doubt, often
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live honest lives, are good Christians, and depart hence with
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hopes as justifiable as though they had loved as well
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as Romeo. But yet as men, they have lacked a something,
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the want of which has made them small and poor
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and dry. It has never been felt by such a
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one that there would be triumph in giving away everything
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belonging to him for one little whispered, year yielding word
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in which there should be acknowledgment that he had succeeded
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in making himself master of a human heart. There are
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other men, very many men, who have felt this love,
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and have resisted it, feeling it unfit that love should
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be lord of all. Frank Greystock had told himself a
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score of times that it would be unbecoming in him
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to allow passion to obtain such mastery of him as
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to interfere with his ambition. Could it be right that he, who,
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as a young man, had already done so much, who
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might possibly have before him so high and great a career,
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should miss that because he could not resist a feeling
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which a little chit of a girl had created in
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his bosom, A girl without money, without position, without even beauty,
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a girl as to whom were he to marry her,
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the world would say, Oh, heaven, there has Frank Greystock
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gone and married a little governess out of old Lady
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Fawn's nursery. And yet he loved her with all his heart,
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and to day had told her of his love. What
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should he do next? The complicated legal case received neither
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much raveling nor unraveling from his brains that night, But
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before he left his chambers he wrote the following letter
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midnight Saturday, all among my books and papers, to Boltcourt,
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Middle Temple. Dear dear Lucy, I told you to day
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that you had ever been the queen who reigned in
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those palaces which I have built in Spain. You did
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not make me much of an answer, But such as
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it was only just one muttered, doubtful sounding word, it
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has made me hope that I may be justified in
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asking you to share with me a home which will
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not be palatial if I am wrong. But no, I
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will not think I am wrong, or that I can
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be wrong. No sound coming from you is really doubtful.
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You are truth itself, and the muttered word would have
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been other than it was if you had not. May
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I say, had you not already learned to love me,
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you will feel perhaps that I ought to have said
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all this to you then, and that a letter in
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such a matter is but a poor substitute for a
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spoken assurance of affection. You shall have the whole truth.
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Though I have long loved you, I did not go
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down to Fawncourt with the purpose of declaring to you
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my love. What I said to you was God's truth,
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but it was spoken without thought at the moment. I
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have thought of it much since, and now I write
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to you to ask you to be my wife. I
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have lived for the last year or two with this
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hope before me, and now, dear dear Lucy, I will
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not write in too great confidence, but I will tell
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you that all my happiness is in your hands. If
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your answer is what I hope it may be. Tell
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Lady Fawn at once, I shall write immediately to Bobsborough,
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as I hate secrets in such matters, and if it
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is to be so, then I shall claim the privilege
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of going to Foncourt as soon and as often as
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I please yours, ever and always, if you will have
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me f G. He sat for an hour at his
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desk with his letter lying on the table before he
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left his chambers, looking at it. If he should decide
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on posting it, then would that life in Belgravia cum Pimlico,
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of which in truth he was very fond, be almost
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closed for him. The lords and countesses, and rich county
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members and leading politicians, who were delighted to welcome him,
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would not care for his wife, nor could he very
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well take his wife among them to live with them.
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Is a married man, he must live as they lived,
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and must have his own house in their precincts. Later
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in life he might possibly work up to this, but
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for the present he must retire into dim domestic security
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and the neighborhood of Regent's Park. He sat looking at
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the letter, telling himself that he was now at this
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moment deciding his own fate in life, and he again
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muttered the Quaker's advice, don't thou marry for money, but
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go where money is. It may be said, however, that
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no man ever watch a letter and then omits to
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send it. He walked out of the temple with it
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in his hand, and dropped it into a pillar box
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just outside the gate. As the envelope slipped through his fingers,
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he felt that he had now bound himself to his fate.
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End of Chapter thirteen
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Chapter thirteen, The Eustace Diamonds by Antony Trollop. This is
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a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.
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00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:19.199
For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org.
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Chapter thirteen, The Eustace Diamonds by Antony Trollop, showing what
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00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:34.920
Frank Greystock did. Frank Greystock escaped from the dovecote before
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Lady Fawn had returned. He had not made his visit
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to Richmond with any purpose of seeing Lucy Morris, or
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00:00:40.960 --> 00:00:44.000
of saying to her when he did see her anything special,
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of saying anything that should or anything that should not
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have been said. He had gone there, in truth, simply
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because his cousin had asked him, and because it was
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almost a duty on his part to see his cousin
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on the momentous occasion of this new engagement. But he
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had declared to himself that Lady Fawn was a fool,
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and that to see Lucy again would be very pleasant
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see her. Of course, I'll see her, he had said,
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Why should I be prevented from seeing her? Now he
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had seen her, and as he returned by the train
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to London, he acknowledged to himself that it was no
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longer in his power to promote his fortune by marriage.
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He had at last said that to Lucy, which made
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it impossible for him to offer his hand to any
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other woman. He had not, in truth asked her to
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be his wife, but he had told her that he
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loved her and could never love any other woman. He
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had asked for no answer to this assurance, and then
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he had left her. In the course of that afternoon.
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He did question himself as to his conduct to this girl,
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and subjected himself to some of the rigors of a
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cross examination. He was not a man who could think
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of a girl as the one human being whom he
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loved above all others, and yet looked forward with equanimity
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to the idea of doing her an injury. He could
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understand that a man unable to marry should be reticent
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as to his feelings, supposing him to have been weak
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enough to succumb to a passion which could only mar
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his prospects. He was frank enough in owning to himself
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that he had been thus weak. The weakness had come
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upon himself early in life, and was there an established
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fact the girl was to him unlike any other girl
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or any man. There was to him a sweetness in
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her companionship which he could not analyze. She was not beautiful.
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She had none of the charms of fashion. He had
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never seen her well dressed according to the ideas of
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dress which he found to be prevailing in the world.
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She was a little thing who was a man's wife,
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could attract no attention by figure of form or outward manner,
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one who had quietly submitted herself to the position of
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a governess, and who did not seem to think that
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in doing so she obtained less than her due. But
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yet he knew her to be better than all the rest.
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For him, at any rate, she was better than all
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the rest. Her little hand was cool and sweet to him. Sometimes,
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when he was heated and hard at work, he would
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fancy how it would be with him if she were
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by him, and would lay it on his brow. There
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was a sparkle in her eye that had to him
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more of sympathy in it than could be conveyed by
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all the other eyes in the world. There was an
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expression in her mouth when she smiled, which was more
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eloquent to him than any sound. There was a reality
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and truth about her, which came home to him and
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made themselves known to him as firm rocks which could
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not be shaken. He had never declared to himself that
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deceit or hypocrisy and a woman was especially abominable. As
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a rule, he looked for it at women, and would
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say that some amount of affectation was necessary to a
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woman's character. He knew that his cousin Lizzie was a
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little liar, that she was, as Lucy had said, a
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pretty animal that would turn and bite, And yet he
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liked his cousin Lizzie. He did not want women to
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be perfect, so he would say, but Lucy Maris, in
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00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:24.079
his eyes, was perfect. And when he told her that
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she was ever the queen who reigned in those castles
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in the air, which he built as others build them,
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he told her no more than the truth. He had
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fallen into these feelings and could not now avoid them
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or be quit of them. But he could have been
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silent respecting them. He knew that in former days down
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at Bobsborough he had not been altogether silent. When he
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had first seen her at fawn Court, he had not
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been altogether silent, But he had been warned away from
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fawn Court, and in that very warning there was conveyed,
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as it were, an absolution from them the effect of
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words hitherto spoken. Though he had called Lady Fawn an
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old fool, he had known that it was so, had
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after a fashion, perceived her wisdom, and had regarded himself
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as a man free to decide without disgrace, that he
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might abandon ideas of ecstatic love and look for a
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rich wife, presuming himself to be reticent for the future
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in reference to his darling Lucy, he might do as
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he pleased with himself. Thus there had come a moment
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in which he had determined that he would ask his
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rich cousin to marry him. In that little project, he
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00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:36.959
had been interrupted, and the reader knows what had come
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of it. Lord Fawn's success had not in the least
97
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annoyed him. He had only half resolved in regard to
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his cousin. She was very beautiful, no doubt, and there
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was her income. But he also knew that those teeth
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would bite, and that those claws would scratch. But Lord
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Fawn's success had given a turn to his thoughts, and
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had made him think for a moment that if a
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man loved, he should be true to his love. The
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reader also knows what had come of that, how at
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last he had not been reticent. He had not asked
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Lucy to be his wife, but he had said that,
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which made it impossible that he should marry any other
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woman without dishonor. As he thought of what he had
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done himself, he tried to remember whether Lucy had said
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a word expressive of affection for himself. She had, in truth,
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spoken very few words, and he could remember almost every
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one of them. Have I? She had asked when he
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had told her that she had ever been the princess
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reigning in his castles, And there had been a joy
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in the question which she had not attempted to conceal.
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She had not hesitated at all. She had not told
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him that she loved him, But there had been something
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sweeter than such protestation in the question. She had asked him,
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Is it indeed true? She had said that I have
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been placed where all my joy and all my glory lies.
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It was not in her to tell a lie to him,
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even by tone. She had intended to say nothing of
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her love, but he knew that it had all been told.
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Have I? He repeated, the words to himself a dozen times,
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and as he did so, he could hear her voice. Certainly,
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there never was a voice that brought home to the
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hearer so strong a sense of its own truth. Why
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should he not at once make up his mind to
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marry her? He could do it, There was no doubt
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of that. It was possible for him to alter the
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whole manner of his life, to give up his clubs,
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to give up even Parliament if the need to do
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so was there, and to live as a married man
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on the earnings of his profession. There was no need
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why he should regard himself as a poor man. Two things,
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no doubt, were against his regarding himself as a rich man.
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Ever since he had commenced life in London, he had
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been more or less in debt, and then, unfortunately, he
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had acquired a seat in Parliament at a period of
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his career in which the dangers of such a position
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were greater than the advantages. Nevertheless, he could earn an
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income on which he and his wife, were he to marry,
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could live in all comfort. And as to his debts,
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if he would set his shoulder to the work, they
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might be paid off in a twelve month. There was
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nothing in the prospect which would frighten Lucy, though there
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might be a question whether he possessed the courage needed
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for so violent a change. He had chambers in the Temple,
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he lived in rooms which he hired from month to
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month in one of the big hotels at the West End.
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And he dined at his club or at the house
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when he was not dining with a friend. He was
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an expensive and luxurious mode of life, and one from
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the effects of which a man is prone to drift
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very quickly into selfishness. He was by no means given
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to drinking, but he was already learning to like good wine.
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Small economies in reference to a higher gloves, umbrellas and
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railway fares were unknown to him. Sixpences and shillings were
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things with which, in his mind it was grievous to
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have to burden the thoughts. The Greystocks had all lived
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after that fashion. Even the Dean himself was not free
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from the charge of extravagance. All this Frank knew, and
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he did not hesitate to tell himself that he must
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make a great change if he meant to marry Lucy Morris.
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And he was wise enough to know that the change
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would become more difficult every day that it was postponed.
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Hitherto the question had been an open question with him,
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Could it now be an open question any longer? As
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a man of honor? Was he not bound to share
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his lot with Lucy Morris? At evening That Saturday evening,
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it so happened that he met John Eustace at a
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club to which they both belonged, and they dined together.
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They had long known each other and had been thrown
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into closer intimacy by the marriage between Sir Florian and Lizzie.
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John Eusace had never been fond of Lizzie, and now,
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in truth liked her less than ever, but he did
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like Lizzie's cousin and felt that possibly Frank might be
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of use to him in the growing difficulty of managing
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the heir's property and looking after the heir's interests. You've
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let the widow slip through your fingers, he said to Frank,
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as they sat together at the table. I told you
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Lord Fawn was to be the lucky man, said Frank.
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I know you did. I hadn't seen it. I can
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only say I wish it had been the other way.
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Why so Fawn isn't a bad fellow. No, not exactly
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a bad fellow. He isn't you know what I call
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a good fellow in the first place. He's marrying her
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altogether for her money, which is just what you advised
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me to do. I thought you really liked her. And
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then Fawn will always be afraid of her and won't
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be in the least afraid of us. We shall have
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to fight him, and he won't fight her. He's a
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cantankerous fellow, is Fawn when he's not afraid of his adversary.
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But why should there be any fighting? Eustace paused a
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minute and rubbed his face and considered the matter before
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he answered, She is troublesome, you know, he said, what Lizzie, Yes,
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And I begin to be afraid she'll give us as
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much as we know how to do. I was with
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camperdown today. I'm blessed if she hasn't begun to cut
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down a whole side of a forested portrait. She has
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no more right to touch the temper except for repairs
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about the place than you have now. She lives for
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fifty years. Asked greystock is none to be cut? Yes,
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by consent of course, a regular cutting for the year
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is done year by year. That's as regular as the rents,
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and the produce is sold by the acre. But she
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is marking the old oaks. What the deuce can she
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want money for? Fawn will put all that right. He'll
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have to do it, said Eustace. Since she has been
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down with that old lady Fawn, she has written a
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note to Camperdown, after leaving all his letters unanswered for
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the last twelve month, to tell him that Lord Fawn
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is to have nothing to do with her property and
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that certain people called Mowbray and Mopus are her lawyers.
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Camperdown is in an awful way about it. Lord Fawn
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will put it all right, said Frank. Camperdown is afraid
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that he won't. They've met twice since the engagement was made,
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and Camperdown says that at the last meeting Fawn gave
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himself airs or was at any rate unpleasant. There were
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words about those diamonds. You don't mean to say that Lord
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Fawn wants to keep your brother's family jewels. Camperdown didn't
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say that exactly, but Fawn made no offer of giving
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them up. I wasn't there and only heard what Camperdown
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told me. Camperdown thinks he's afraid of her. I shouldn't
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wonder at that in the least, said Frank. I know
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there'll be trouble, continued Eustace, and Fawn won't be able
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to help us through it. She's a strong, willed, cunning, obstinate,
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clever little creature. Camperdown swears there'll be two men for her,
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but I almost doubt it. And therefore you wish I
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were going to marry her? Yes, I do. You might
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manage her. The money comes from the Eustace property, and
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I'd sooner it should go to you than a half hearted,
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numb fingered, cold blooded wig like Fawn. I don't like
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cunning women, said Frank. Does bargains go, It wouldn't be
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a bad one, said Eustace. She's very young, has a
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noble jointure, and is as handsome as she can stand.
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It's too good a thing for Fawn, too good for
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any wig. When Eustace left him, Greystock lit his cigar
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and walked with it in his mouth from pal Mall
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to the temple. He often worked there at night when
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he was not bound to be in the house, or
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when the house was not sitting, and he was now
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intent on mastering the mysteries of some much complicated legal
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case which had been confided to him, in order that
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he might present it to a jury. Enveloped in increased mystery.
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But is he he thought rather of matrimony than of law,
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And he thought especially of matrimony as it was about
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to affect Lord Fawn. Could a man be justified in
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marrying for money, or have rational ground for expecting that
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he might make himself happy by doing so? He kept
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muttering to himself as he went the Quaker's advice to
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the old farmer, don't thou marry for money, but go
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o where money is? He muttered it as condemning the advice,
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rather than accepting it. He could look out and see
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two altogether different kinds of life before him, both of
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which had their allurements. There was the Belgravia cum Pimlico life,
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the scene of which might extend itself to South Kensington,
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enveloping the parks, and coming round over Park Lane and
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through Grosvenor Square and Barkley Square back to Piccadilly. Within
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this he might live with lords and countesses and rich folk.
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Generally going out to the very best dinner parties, avoiding
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stupid people. Having everything the world could give except a
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wife and family and home of his own. All this
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he could achieve by the work which would certainly fall
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in his way, and by means of that position in
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the world which he had already attained by his wits.
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And the wife, with the family, and the house of
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his own might be forthcoming, should it ever come in
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his way to form an attachment with a wealthy woman.
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He knew how dangerous were the charms of such a
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life to this man. He knew how dangerous were the
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charms of such a life as this to a man
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growing old among the flesh pots without anyone to depend
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on him. He had seen what becomes of the man
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who was always dining out at sixty. But he might
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avoid that. Don't now marry for money, but go o
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where money is. And then there was that other outlook,
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the scene of which was laid somewhere north of Oxford's,
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and the glory of which consisted in Lucy's smile, in
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Lucy's hand, and Lucy's kiss as he returned home, weary
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from his work. There are men and some women who
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pass their lives without knowing what it is to be
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or to have been in love. They not improbably marry.
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The men do at least, and make good average husbands.
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Their wives are useful to them, and they learn to
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feel that a woman, being a wife, is entitled to
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all the respect, protection, and honor which a man can
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give or procure for her. Such men, no doubt, often
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live honest lives, are good Christians, and depart hence with
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hopes as justifiable as though they had loved as well
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as Romeo. But yet as men, they have lacked a something,
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the want of which has made them small and poor
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and dry. It has never been felt by such a
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one that there would be triumph in giving away everything
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belonging to him for one little whispered, year yielding word
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in which there should be acknowledgment that he had succeeded
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in making himself master of a human heart. There are
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other men, very many men, who have felt this love,
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and have resisted it, feeling it unfit that love should
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be lord of all. Frank Greystock had told himself a
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score of times that it would be unbecoming in him
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to allow passion to obtain such mastery of him as
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to interfere with his ambition. Could it be right that he, who,
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as a young man, had already done so much, who
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might possibly have before him so high and great a career,
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should miss that because he could not resist a feeling
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which a little chit of a girl had created in
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his bosom, A girl without money, without position, without even beauty,
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a girl as to whom were he to marry her,
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the world would say, Oh, heaven, there has Frank Greystock
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gone and married a little governess out of old Lady
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Fawn's nursery. And yet he loved her with all his heart,
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and to day had told her of his love. What
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should he do next? The complicated legal case received neither
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much raveling nor unraveling from his brains that night, But
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before he left his chambers he wrote the following letter
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midnight Saturday, all among my books and papers, to Boltcourt,
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Middle Temple. Dear dear Lucy, I told you to day
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that you had ever been the queen who reigned in
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those palaces which I have built in Spain. You did
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not make me much of an answer, But such as
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it was only just one muttered, doubtful sounding word, it
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has made me hope that I may be justified in
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asking you to share with me a home which will
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not be palatial if I am wrong. But no, I
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will not think I am wrong, or that I can
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be wrong. No sound coming from you is really doubtful.
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You are truth itself, and the muttered word would have
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been other than it was if you had not. May
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I say, had you not already learned to love me,
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you will feel perhaps that I ought to have said
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all this to you then, and that a letter in
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such a matter is but a poor substitute for a
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spoken assurance of affection. You shall have the whole truth.
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Though I have long loved you, I did not go
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down to Fawncourt with the purpose of declaring to you
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my love. What I said to you was God's truth,
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but it was spoken without thought at the moment. I
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have thought of it much since, and now I write
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to you to ask you to be my wife. I
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have lived for the last year or two with this
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hope before me, and now, dear dear Lucy, I will
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not write in too great confidence, but I will tell
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you that all my happiness is in your hands. If
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your answer is what I hope it may be. Tell
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Lady Fawn at once, I shall write immediately to Bobsborough,
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as I hate secrets in such matters, and if it
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is to be so, then I shall claim the privilege
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of going to Foncourt as soon and as often as
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I please yours, ever and always, if you will have
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me f G. He sat for an hour at his
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desk with his letter lying on the table before he
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left his chambers, looking at it. If he should decide
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on posting it, then would that life in Belgravia cum Pimlico,
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of which in truth he was very fond, be almost
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closed for him. The lords and countesses, and rich county
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members and leading politicians, who were delighted to welcome him,
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would not care for his wife, nor could he very
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well take his wife among them to live with them.
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Is a married man, he must live as they lived,
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and must have his own house in their precincts. Later
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in life he might possibly work up to this, but
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for the present he must retire into dim domestic security
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and the neighborhood of Regent's Park. He sat looking at
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the letter, telling himself that he was now at this
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moment deciding his own fate in life, and he again
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muttered the Quaker's advice, don't thou marry for money, but
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go where money is. It may be said, however, that
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no man ever watch a letter and then omits to
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send it. He walked out of the temple with it
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in his hand, and dropped it into a pillar box
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just outside the gate. As the envelope slipped through his fingers,
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he felt that he had now bound himself to his fate.
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End of Chapter thirteen
