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Life is a winding road
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no telling where it goes
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Driving through days and nights
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Won't stop for traffic lights
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And. I. I really want to
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know, really wanna know
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If I let me figure
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out where the road goes
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Even if I'm falling down I will keep on searching for
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my highs
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you can say I lost my mind I will keep on holding my
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head high Even if the sky is
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falling down.
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Welcome back to Successfully Chaotic and one of my favorite series
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I've ever done. Unapologetically, you. If you're new here,
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I'm Maria Daniels and today I want to talk about something that I know
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a lot of you are feeling but maybe you're not saying out
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loud. What do you do when you're giving
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everything you've got, literally everything. And it still feels like
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you're failing everything. It still feels like it's never enough. Not
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enough for your business, not enough for you, not enough for your
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family. It's literally that gun punch moment
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where you're exhausted, stretched thin, and somehow
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you're still wondering if you drop the ball yet again. So we're
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going to go there today because I want this to be real. I
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know I've experienced this more than one time. And just when I think I'm out
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of the woods with it, then boom, you know, kind of life starts life
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in again and you're not really sure how to pick up those pieces.
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I really don't think we talk about this part enough. So for
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a lot of people that end up in those real and raw moments
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where they feel like they're failing everything, they feel like they're all alone.
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And I'm here to tell you, friend, you are not alone. It's something
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that I think every single one of us has felt at
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least once or twice. For me, like one or two million times,
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probably. It's that part where you're literally doing
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all the things. Maybe you're managing a business or
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running a company or raising humans, maybe you're
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homeschooling or trying to get your kids to school on time so you don't get
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that truancy letter. Or maybe you're working a side hustle and you're dreaming
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of getting out of that 9 to 5 to do your own thing
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and you feel like you're just failing. You feel like you're
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failing all of it. You look around at everyone's
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highlight reel and suddenly it feels like maybe you're the one that's
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broken. But I want to say this, and I want to say it super clear.
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You're not broken. You're in the in between. And we get in the
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in between all the time. Because, you know, as much as it
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sucks to be in those moments, that's where growth
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happens. And if we don't end up in those moments, we literally stay
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the same. The space where everything
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matters, where everything feels urgent,
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those are the moments where it can make or break us.
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And that's also the moments where you feel like you're never really
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fully showing up anywhere because you are stretched so
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thin. I want to talk about that. The mental
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load on that, like, we don't really name it.
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And it's not just, you know, the to do list.
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It's the emotional weight of being the one that has
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to keep all the plates spinning. It's the mental load of remembering
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everyone's appointment or making the decisions that no one sees. It's
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keeping the business afloat while your child needs you,
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or, you know, you're having to, you know, go through your marriage
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challenges, or, you know, there's. There's a death in the family
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or the economy takes another change and you're like, trying
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to figure out, like, what's the best way to pivot my business. So,
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you know, my team, my business, myself, we all survive
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this. It's a lot, right? It's invisible,
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but it is heavy. And the worst part is,
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even when you're doing a hundred things right, your
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brain will find the one thing that you forgot about
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and hang all your self worth on that. It's the part
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that really just breaks my heart for so many women, because I know
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that, I know that well. And there's of course, some tools and
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tricks to be able to get yourself out of that. But in that, in that
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moment, no matter what tools and tricks that you've learned over the years, in
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that moment, it still just sucks and it feels so
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heavy and you feel like you're in the dark.
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We don't give ourselves credit for all
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of the holding that we do every single day.
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And if no one has said this to you lately, I know you're holding
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a lot and I see you. I, you know,
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when I started this show, I wasn't, I wasn't really sure where I was
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going with it. But I think that my
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mission with this has become to be the one
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that says the things that we've all experienced.
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And it doesn't make us money to say these things right,
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but it makes us real. It reminds us that we're human.
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It reminds us that I don't care what person you're Idolizing.
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They have felt that this way, too. And I
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think as we're kind of going on this journey together, we acknowledge that
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we also have to kind of think about, all right, well, how do I acknowledge
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that I feel this way? How do I feel my feelings in that moment? Because
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I think that's super important. But also, how do we redefine that
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word? Enough? I want to. I want to talk about that word, that.
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That little word, Enough. Who even
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defines that word? Because I know for
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myself, I've realized that enough doesn't exist when
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you keep moving the bar on yourself. Because sometimes we
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set these unrealistic expectations and then punish ourselves for
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not meeting them. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a go getter. I
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love to set the bar high. I love to try to achieve things. But
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there also has to be a realness attached to it
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that I'm not by myself. I'm not, you know, living
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a life with no friends, family, children.
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I'm living a life, a part of other people's lives, and I
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choose to do so. So sometimes these.
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These bars that we set for ourselves accidentally
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don't fit into other people's lives, too. And
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so they have to be kind of fixed on the go.
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Here's what I started doing imperfectly, by the way, but here's what I started
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doing. I check in with myself at the end of the day, not with
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a list of what I didn't do, but with a list of what I
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did show up for. And sometimes that's hard because if you've had a really tough
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day, your brain wants to point out all of these things, and it's survival. You
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know, we could talk about the science behind it, but today I just want to
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talk about the feelings behind it. It's important
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to really reel yourself back in in those moments and
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make that list of what you did show up for. Sometimes it's, I
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showed it for a client who needed support, or I made sure my
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kids were fed and hugged today, or I chose rest
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instead of feeling guilty for resting. And sometimes
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I just survived today, because
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sometimes that counts. You don't need
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to do more to be enough, because you already are enough. And that's
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the first thing I think we have to learn. And we learn it. And then
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we have to remind ourselves again and again and again.
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Because here's the real truth. Some days
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your business is going to need you more, and your family might get the
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leftovers. Other days, your kids are
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going to have a hard time and they're going to need Their mom and
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that client calls just going to have to wait. And it sucks
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because both parts of your life matter deeply and
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both are going to tug on you like you're on this rope
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in a never ending game of tug of war.
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But here is the mindset shift on that
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and it's something I had to learn. It is not about a
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perfect 5050 balance that does not exist. There is no
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destination of reaching balanced. And that was
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an eye opener for me because I thought that I could, you know, run fast
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enough, create the strategy fast enough, do make sure all the systems
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were in place, which of those things are super important. But I thought I would
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arrive at this destination called balanced.
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And that is not a destination,
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it is a verb. We are always
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balancing. It's not about finding that perfect
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5050 balance. It's about intentional trade offs.
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It's about making a choice today and trusting that you'll make
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the space for the other part tomorrow. You're not neglecting
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anything. You're navigating. And I think that's the key. If
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you're listening to this right now and you're in that place, the one that
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feels like you're spinning your wheels, you're missing milestones, you're never
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going to catch up. You're. You're failing everyone and everything.
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Maybe you're searching through your Google Photos and see
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that little baby that now is not so little
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anymore. And you're having questions and regrets
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and wondering if you chose the right thing.
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I want you to remember, you're not doing it wrong.
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You're in the messy middle. You're in the meaningful middle. You're
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building a life with love. And maybe you decide to do
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things completely different. That's also okay. Or maybe you can say, you know
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what? I have navigated to the best of my ability. I
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have found balance where I could. I am chasing
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two things, or maybe five things that I love
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so much. And it's hard.
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That life that you're building with love, it doesn't need to
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be picture perfect. It just needs you. It
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needs you real and present and
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unapologetically human. You're giving
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everything because you care. And that fact,
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the fact that you care so, so, so, so deeply, that's not
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weakness. That is your power. You're not behind.
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You're just building something real. And that's okay to feel the weight of it,
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because it's a lot. You're doing some amazing things. And I have to
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remind myself of that sometimes. Because sometimes I am tired.
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I'm tired of carrying the mental load of what I feel like is everything.
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But at the end of the day, I feel
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empowered by it. In some ways, it's just navigating
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through those hard times. All right, that is all
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for today, friend. It's quick, short, solo episode and again,
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we'll be pulling in some guests coming up soon, but
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if this episode hit you like a gut punch a
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little bit, just know that you're not alone. I'm in it, too.
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So many of us are in it too. And all of us
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are walking behind everything that's going
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on in our life on this beautifully chaotic
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path of business and life and motherhood and
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attempting to stay grounded through it all. And it's. It's hard,
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but it's also wonderful. If this helped,
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just share it with somebody else who needs to hear it today. And as always,
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keep showing up as you're a messy, honest,
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full self and I'll catch you next time on Successfully
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Chaotic. Until then, stay unapologetically you.
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Life is a winding road
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no telling where it goes
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Driving through days and nights
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Won't stop for traffic lights
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And. I. I really want to
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know, really wanna know
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If I let me figure
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out where the road goes
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Even if I'm falling down I will keep on searching for
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my highs
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you can say I lost my mind I will keep on holding my
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head high Even if the sky is
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falling down.
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Welcome back to Successfully Chaotic and one of my favorite series
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I've ever done. Unapologetically, you. If you're new here,
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I'm Maria Daniels and today I want to talk about something that I know
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a lot of you are feeling but maybe you're not saying out
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loud. What do you do when you're giving
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everything you've got, literally everything. And it still feels like
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you're failing everything. It still feels like it's never enough. Not
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enough for your business, not enough for you, not enough for your
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family. It's literally that gun punch moment
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where you're exhausted, stretched thin, and somehow
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you're still wondering if you drop the ball yet again. So we're
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going to go there today because I want this to be real. I
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know I've experienced this more than one time. And just when I think I'm out
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of the woods with it, then boom, you know, kind of life starts life
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in again and you're not really sure how to pick up those pieces.
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I really don't think we talk about this part enough. So for
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a lot of people that end up in those real and raw moments
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where they feel like they're failing everything, they feel like they're all alone.
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And I'm here to tell you, friend, you are not alone. It's something
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that I think every single one of us has felt at
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least once or twice. For me, like one or two million times,
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probably. It's that part where you're literally doing
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all the things. Maybe you're managing a business or
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running a company or raising humans, maybe you're
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homeschooling or trying to get your kids to school on time so you don't get
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that truancy letter. Or maybe you're working a side hustle and you're dreaming
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of getting out of that 9 to 5 to do your own thing
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and you feel like you're just failing. You feel like you're
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failing all of it. You look around at everyone's
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highlight reel and suddenly it feels like maybe you're the one that's
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broken. But I want to say this, and I want to say it super clear.
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You're not broken. You're in the in between. And we get in the
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in between all the time. Because, you know, as much as it
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sucks to be in those moments, that's where growth
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happens. And if we don't end up in those moments, we literally stay
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the same. The space where everything
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matters, where everything feels urgent,
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those are the moments where it can make or break us.
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And that's also the moments where you feel like you're never really
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fully showing up anywhere because you are stretched so
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thin. I want to talk about that. The mental
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load on that, like, we don't really name it.
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And it's not just, you know, the to do list.
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It's the emotional weight of being the one that has
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to keep all the plates spinning. It's the mental load of remembering
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everyone's appointment or making the decisions that no one sees. It's
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keeping the business afloat while your child needs you,
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or, you know, you're having to, you know, go through your marriage
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challenges, or, you know, there's. There's a death in the family
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or the economy takes another change and you're like, trying
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to figure out, like, what's the best way to pivot my business. So,
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you know, my team, my business, myself, we all survive
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this. It's a lot, right? It's invisible,
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but it is heavy. And the worst part is,
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even when you're doing a hundred things right, your
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brain will find the one thing that you forgot about
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and hang all your self worth on that. It's the part
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that really just breaks my heart for so many women, because I know
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that, I know that well. And there's of course, some tools and
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tricks to be able to get yourself out of that. But in that, in that
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moment, no matter what tools and tricks that you've learned over the years, in
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that moment, it still just sucks and it feels so
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heavy and you feel like you're in the dark.
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We don't give ourselves credit for all
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of the holding that we do every single day.
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And if no one has said this to you lately, I know you're holding
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a lot and I see you. I, you know,
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when I started this show, I wasn't, I wasn't really sure where I was
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going with it. But I think that my
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mission with this has become to be the one
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that says the things that we've all experienced.
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And it doesn't make us money to say these things right,
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but it makes us real. It reminds us that we're human.
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It reminds us that I don't care what person you're Idolizing.
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They have felt that this way, too. And I
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think as we're kind of going on this journey together, we acknowledge that
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we also have to kind of think about, all right, well, how do I acknowledge
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that I feel this way? How do I feel my feelings in that moment? Because
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I think that's super important. But also, how do we redefine that
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word? Enough? I want to. I want to talk about that word, that.
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That little word, Enough. Who even
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defines that word? Because I know for
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myself, I've realized that enough doesn't exist when
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you keep moving the bar on yourself. Because sometimes we
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set these unrealistic expectations and then punish ourselves for
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not meeting them. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a go getter. I
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love to set the bar high. I love to try to achieve things. But
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there also has to be a realness attached to it
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that I'm not by myself. I'm not, you know, living
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a life with no friends, family, children.
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I'm living a life, a part of other people's lives, and I
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choose to do so. So sometimes these.
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These bars that we set for ourselves accidentally
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don't fit into other people's lives, too. And
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so they have to be kind of fixed on the go.
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Here's what I started doing imperfectly, by the way, but here's what I started
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doing. I check in with myself at the end of the day, not with
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a list of what I didn't do, but with a list of what I
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did show up for. And sometimes that's hard because if you've had a really tough
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day, your brain wants to point out all of these things, and it's survival. You
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know, we could talk about the science behind it, but today I just want to
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talk about the feelings behind it. It's important
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to really reel yourself back in in those moments and
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make that list of what you did show up for. Sometimes it's, I
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showed it for a client who needed support, or I made sure my
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kids were fed and hugged today, or I chose rest
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instead of feeling guilty for resting. And sometimes
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I just survived today, because
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sometimes that counts. You don't need
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to do more to be enough, because you already are enough. And that's
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the first thing I think we have to learn. And we learn it. And then
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we have to remind ourselves again and again and again.
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Because here's the real truth. Some days
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your business is going to need you more, and your family might get the
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leftovers. Other days, your kids are
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going to have a hard time and they're going to need Their mom and
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that client calls just going to have to wait. And it sucks
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because both parts of your life matter deeply and
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both are going to tug on you like you're on this rope
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in a never ending game of tug of war.
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But here is the mindset shift on that
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and it's something I had to learn. It is not about a
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perfect 5050 balance that does not exist. There is no
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destination of reaching balanced. And that was
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an eye opener for me because I thought that I could, you know, run fast
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enough, create the strategy fast enough, do make sure all the systems
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were in place, which of those things are super important. But I thought I would
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arrive at this destination called balanced.
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And that is not a destination,
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it is a verb. We are always
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balancing. It's not about finding that perfect
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5050 balance. It's about intentional trade offs.
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It's about making a choice today and trusting that you'll make
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the space for the other part tomorrow. You're not neglecting
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anything. You're navigating. And I think that's the key. If
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you're listening to this right now and you're in that place, the one that
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feels like you're spinning your wheels, you're missing milestones, you're never
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going to catch up. You're. You're failing everyone and everything.
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Maybe you're searching through your Google Photos and see
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that little baby that now is not so little
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anymore. And you're having questions and regrets
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and wondering if you chose the right thing.
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I want you to remember, you're not doing it wrong.
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You're in the messy middle. You're in the meaningful middle. You're
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building a life with love. And maybe you decide to do
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things completely different. That's also okay. Or maybe you can say, you know
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what? I have navigated to the best of my ability. I
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have found balance where I could. I am chasing
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two things, or maybe five things that I love
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so much. And it's hard.
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That life that you're building with love, it doesn't need to
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be picture perfect. It just needs you. It
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needs you real and present and
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unapologetically human. You're giving
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everything because you care. And that fact,
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the fact that you care so, so, so, so deeply, that's not
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weakness. That is your power. You're not behind.
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You're just building something real. And that's okay to feel the weight of it,
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because it's a lot. You're doing some amazing things. And I have to
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remind myself of that sometimes. Because sometimes I am tired.
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I'm tired of carrying the mental load of what I feel like is everything.
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But at the end of the day, I feel
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empowered by it. In some ways, it's just navigating
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through those hard times. All right, that is all
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for today, friend. It's quick, short, solo episode and again,
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we'll be pulling in some guests coming up soon, but
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if this episode hit you like a gut punch a
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little bit, just know that you're not alone. I'm in it, too.
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So many of us are in it too. And all of us
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are walking behind everything that's going
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on in our life on this beautifully chaotic
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path of business and life and motherhood and
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attempting to stay grounded through it all. And it's. It's hard,
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but it's also wonderful. If this helped,
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just share it with somebody else who needs to hear it today. And as always,
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keep showing up as you're a messy, honest,
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full self and I'll catch you next time on Successfully
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Chaotic. Until then, stay unapologetically you.
