"Gone Before Gone": Coping with Ambiguous Loss to Psychosis

In today’s episode of SMI Spotlight, host Dr. Xavier Amador (Clinical Psychologist and author of “I Am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help!”) speaks with Jerri Niebaum Clark, author of “Gone Before Gone: When Mental Illness Steals Someone You Love.” Together, they explore the deeply personal and often misunderstood experience of ambiguous loss caused by severe mental illness and psychosis.Jerri shares the story of her son Calvin, offering an intimate look at how bipolar disorder and psychosis impact not only individuals, but entire families. This conversation sheds light on the emotional toll of loving someone who is physically present but psychologically changed—what experts call ambiguous loss.The discussion also takes a critical look at systemic barriers in mental health care, including how current policies often require individuals to be an imminent danger to themselves or others before they can access treatment. Dr. Amador and Jerri examine how these systemic failures contribute to the criminalization of mental illness, leaving families without support until a crisis unfolds.In addition to sharing Calvin’s life and story, Jerri discusses the creation of her book, its self-help structure for caregivers, and the deeply symbolic owl painting on the cover, representing her enduring connection with her son.This episode is essential viewing for family members, caregivers, mental health advocates, clinicians, and anyone interested in severe mental illness (SMI), bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anosognosia, and mental health reform.Video Sections:

• (00:00) - Intro
• (01:18) - Today's guest Jerri
• (01:44) - Jerri's son Calvin
• (02:06) - Jerri's Book: Gone Before Gone
• (02:53) - What does Gone Before Gone mean?
• (05:40) - What is ambiguous loss?
• (10:13) - How does the term ambiguous loss help?
• (11:16) - Jerri's son Calvin's story
• (15:09) - The challenges of trying to access hospitalization
• (19:26) - How does the system punish people with severe mental illness?
• (22:23) - How Jerri's book became structured in a self-help style
• (24:59) - Calvin's letter at the start of Jerri's book
• (28:21) - Jerri's poem
• (33:17) - The story of the owl painting on Jerri's book's cover
• (34:30) - Jerri's connection with Calvin and owls
• (35:37) - How Jerri met the book cover artist
• (36:43) - The full owl painting
• (37:37) - How to find Jerri's book
• (38:30) - How Pete Earley, author of "Crazy", wrote the foreword to Jerri's book
• (42:13) - Thank you!