Instacart Meltdown

WEBVTT
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Welcome back to Just Talking Unfiltered.
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Today wild story for it.
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Absolutely wild.
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You won't believe this.
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What's up, everybody?
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Welcome to another episode of Just Talking Unfiltered.
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Fuck Instacart.
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Umstacart.
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Fuck Instacart.
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Um, but welcome to another installment of your favorite unrecognized podcast.
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Favorite unrecognized and unfiltered.
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That's right.
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Welcome back.
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Welcome back to yourself.
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Right, yeah.
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It feels like it's been forever since I've been in the saddle.
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Right.
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Or we've been in the saddle.
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Yeah, I know.
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Even though I live here, I I tend to not look at this wall or this table unless we're actually filming.
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Right, yeah.
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That makes sense.
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Yeah, I just you walk in here and you're like, no, thank you.
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Right.
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Not not right now.
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Yeah.
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I know I know you're calling.
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I know you're calling for me, but not right now.
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Right.
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Um, what's been up with you, bro?
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Why why haven't we done a podcast?
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Oh man.
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Um why haven't we done a podcast?
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I feel like because of your schedule, like there must be a bunch of stories.
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A bunch of stories.
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There, no.
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I mean, not a lot has been going on.
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I've just been better be fucking worse.
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Living, laughing, and loving.
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Just live, laugh, love.
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Live, laugh, love, baby.
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That's what we'd be doing out here at just talking unfiltered.
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Did you have to look at the flag to know that it's just talking unfiltered because it's been so long?
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No, I want to make sure there wasn't any cobwebs on it.
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And I think we're good.
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Careful it might fall over.
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There's some dust up there.
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No, it hasn't been that long.
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Um no, I had volleyball.
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Fridays got really hectic.
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You play volleyball?
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You you wear the shorts?
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Yeah, short shorts.
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And when I bend over, you see my moose knuckle.
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Oh.
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That's right.
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No, um, no, my oldest plays volleyball.
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Oh, okay.
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Aren't you the oldest?
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Out of your family?
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No.
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Obviously, my parents.
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Oh, okay.
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Yeah.
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So your parents, your your your parents play volleyball.
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Exactly.
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Okay.
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Now you get it.
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I'm glad we're tracking.
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Yeah.
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Um, how is that watching your dad play uh volleyball?
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Um I don't know.
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If I saw my dad play volleyball, I don't know what I'd think.
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Probably laugh.
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Probably laugh.
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Be like, that's not that's not hay.
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Right.
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That's not insurance or a cow.
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Right.
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Could you imagine him showing up in the short shorts with the headband on?
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I picture him in orange like this.
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Right.
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Just tank top, short shorts, yeah, boots.
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Right.
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But like ready to fuck people up though.
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Right.
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Like hyped.
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Right.
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Like my dad at like You think he'd jump high?
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I don't know.
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My dad's really fucking strong.
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Oh, that's not jumping.
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No, no.
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Strong in general.
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Like jumping takes strength.
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You think he's stronger than you?
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Yeah, my dad could probably beat me up.
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What?
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I think so still.
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Yeah.
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Nah.
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I don't know.
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Hit that hip.
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Old people's hips are fragile.
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Nah, bro.
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They are.
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Yeah, I mean, I mean one punch to the hip, it's going down, promise.
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Be hitting that life alert, baby.
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Right.
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Right.
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I've fallen and I can't get up.
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What happened?
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My son punched me in the hip.
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And when I dip, you dip, we dip.
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Right.
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Yeah, that would definitely be your cue to pack it up and go home.
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Well, you know, kind of already happened in the family.
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You punched him in the hip?
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No, no, no, no, no.
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Remember my the story with my stupid ass brother?
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Which one?
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Exactly.
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Well, no, not exactly.
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The one that lived at the farm.
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Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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He punched your dad?
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No.
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The story is he was going in for a hug, but from behind.
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Well.
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That's not how hugs work.
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Exactly.
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And so my dad turned around and was like, he's going back to your house.
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And uh, yeah.
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Why'd you dad get so mad about the backwards hug?
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Because I don't play like that.
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I ain't gate.
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Where we don't do nut the butt in this house.
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Right.
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We do not the nut.
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No, there was some other shit leading up to this.
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But uh so this dude was arguing with your dad, and then was like, let me give you a hug from the back.
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Come in, play, boy.
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Like, get the fuck off me.
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He had to go home.
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Was he drunk?
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Uh not that I'm aware of.
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Oh, that's a hug from the back is.
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Here's how you know a family situation is bad before like I watched somebody hug you from the back once.
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Cowboy?
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Jesus fucking Christ.
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I knew you were about to go there.
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No, you didn't.
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Here's here's how you know a family situation is fucked up.
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Right.
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It's when you're living all the way in Virginia and you're getting people messaging you telling you what their side of the story is before you even knew something happened.
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Right.
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That's how I knew, like, all right, y'all fucked up.
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I ignore it.
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Dude, they were trying to rope me into that shit and from a country mile.
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Literally, yeah.
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And trying to get me uh to like disown my dad and shit.
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Almost did it.
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Dude, for a while, I didn't know what the fuck was going on.
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But then I was like, go back and get brainwashed again.
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I was like, I was like, fuck that.
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That's my dad.
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Yeah.
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So yeah, family fighting is fucking insane.
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I don't take sides.
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I just stay with everybody.
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You just fight everybody.
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Nah.
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Fuck you.
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I don't do that shit no more.
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I don't, I don't have to.
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Um I'm the I'm the uh I'm the chosen one in my family.
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Oh, wow.
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Everybody loves me.
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The chosen one.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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Everybody loves me.
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Just like at work.
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Ask Rock.
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He'll tell you.
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Of course.
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This motherfucker, dude.
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Hey, you know, kind of kind of same thing.
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Um my sister sent out this bitch ass of an email and called me the golden child.
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All right, get it in.
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Play boy.
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Right.
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Fuck you.
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I'm the Joel's man.
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Lori.
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Is that her name?
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Yeah.
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Oh shit.
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That's her name, yeah.
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Look at you.
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Oh, yeah.
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Remembering shit.
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Hell yeah.
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Wow.
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Cheers to that.
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Cheers.
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You thought I was gonna drink on my drink, didn't you?
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I need some of this uh hydration.
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Right.
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But um, yeah, speaking of fights and everything, uh my most recent fight and contender has been Instacart.
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Hold on, before you get started, I want to start the episode with a Oh yeah, yeah.
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Let's let's start it properly.
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You know what?
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How dare I?
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How dare you?
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It's been you know what?
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It's been so long that you thought you could just talk to me.
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Bro, you know what?
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Yeah, it's just been so long.
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I just thought we were just yeah, I forgot there was a structure.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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Is that do men gab no?
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It doesn't matter.
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Goose a gabbin.
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Alright, you ready?
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Let's start the show.
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You live in a pineapple under the sea, or no, or no?
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Do you want a crabby patty?
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What the actual fuck that I just want.
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Oh my god.
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Yo, it's winst and then Ryan, the unfiltered crew.
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Fat bearded legends with the pigeons for you.
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Exercise laps, no filter, no cap, or drink, take a sneak, we just talk and rap.
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Winston in the corner with the whiskey in his fist, Ryan yelling loud.
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Every topic gets pissed.
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Beard's so thick, take it smuggle the birds, get voices boomin' harder than the 12 minutes of kick, grabbing a low star.
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We ain't a light.
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Welcome to the show, it's a bar fight tonight.
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Just talking cups of the no rules, coach.
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Two fat boys taking over the gap.
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Texas team, Texas Prabhupada.
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It's whiskey, fine, raw, keep it tight.
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Just talking to the no rules, coach A.
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Fat boys taking over the gap.
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Texas team, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite.
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It's whiskey and fine, keep it raw, keep it tight.
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Right got the volume of a megaphone riot.
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Winston got the booze, but it's liver stay quiet.
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Topics jump wild like a bull in the shoe.
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From brisket to politics, no subjects move.
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Barbecue stains on a microphone grip.
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Do you live in a pineapple under the sea?
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Or no?
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Or nah.
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Or no.
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Do you want a crappy patty?
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Or nah or nah?
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So that was insane.
00:09:01.279 --> 00:09:02.320
Um yeah.
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I just like to start it with something that doesn't make any sense at all.
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You know what that clip reminds me of?
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It may be the same person.
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I don't know.
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I'd have to do a little bit of research.
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Do you remember that clip that ran that went around of the chick that had like the car's head?
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She was like lightning McQueen.
00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:19.519
Oh, dude.
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It was insane.
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Uh like she just had her her her mouth was like the bumper, and she like did everything else.
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And like what if she dated the dude from the last episode?
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I was in love with this car.
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I'm not gay no more.
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I've been delivered.
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But like what made the clip even creepier was like the only sound effect, it had nothing to do with cars.
00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:52.559
It was just like a like a car like beep, beep, and she was just like beep, beep.
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Yeah, dude, it's fucking weird.
00:09:55.519 --> 00:09:58.879
Um, so that costume may be like the same thing.
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Yeah, it's definitely the same vibe for sure.
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Oh yeah.
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Oh yeah, for sure.
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The way this motherfucker was moving its knees though was fucking hilarious.
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That shit was insane.
00:10:06.879 --> 00:10:07.519
Yeah.
00:10:07.840 --> 00:10:09.279
So uh what?
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Yeah, where they're fighting with the carts of Insta?
00:10:12.799 --> 00:10:14.799
Yes, I've been fighting with the carts of Insta.
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The Insta carts, if you will.
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Instagram's cousin.
00:10:18.720 --> 00:10:19.679
So, yeah.
00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:20.480
Yeah.
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I tried to post a picture of my dick, and they were like, whoa, this is a grocery store.
00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:25.679
Right.
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Uh now, so I've been doing my grocery runs at Aldi here recently.
00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:35.759
Yeah.
00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:37.919
A lot, a lot, a lot cheaper.
00:10:38.159 --> 00:10:42.559
Um it's been saving a buck or two versus going to Harris Teeter.
00:10:42.799 --> 00:10:43.279
Right.
00:10:43.519 --> 00:10:52.000
And normally I just do it through Instacart because if you do like a pickup order, it knocks off like$1.99 off your total.
00:10:52.159 --> 00:10:52.799
Right.
00:10:53.360 --> 00:10:58.399
And I fucking tell them I'm on my way and I fucking pull into the parking lot.
00:10:58.559 --> 00:11:00.879
There's nobody ever in the pickup spots.
00:11:01.120 --> 00:11:07.440
I park there, and before I'm eat before I even stop the truck, they're already coming out with my shit.
00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:08.240
Oh yeah.
00:11:08.399 --> 00:11:14.159
I'm literally, because I've done it multiple times, I'm literally in the parking lot less than 30 seconds.
00:11:14.320 --> 00:11:18.879
They put the two bags in the back, tell them I have a nice day, and I fucking go off.
00:11:19.440 --> 00:11:20.320
And I fight them.
00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:21.120
No, I'm just kidding.
00:11:21.679 --> 00:11:22.399
Go off one day.
00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:22.960
Right, go off.
00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:24.240
Fuck you for this good service.
00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:24.639
Right.
00:11:24.720 --> 00:11:25.600
Thank you, bitch.
00:11:25.759 --> 00:11:26.240
Right.
00:11:26.639 --> 00:11:46.000
Um so anyway, Saturday, I placing a pickup order, and I got to doing some side hustling shit, and I uh ended up missing the pickup time, and I was like, all right, fuck it, I'll just get it Sunday, which was the next day.
00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:54.240
And when I went there, I walked Instacart said, like, uh, hey, there's an issue with your pickup.
00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:56.320
We can't bring it out of your vehicle, you gotta go inside.
00:11:56.399 --> 00:11:59.440
So I went inside and I was like, hi, hello.
00:12:00.240 --> 00:12:01.120
How you met me?
00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:01.840
Right.
00:12:04.639 --> 00:12:07.600
We're gonna PTS goddamn day.
00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:15.120
Um, but no, I was like, hey, you know, I put an Instacart pickup order in, I'm just here to grab my shit.
00:12:15.279 --> 00:12:24.080
And they said, Oh, uh here at Aldi, if you don't pick it up on the same day of your pickup, then we put it back on the shelf.
00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:24.480
Right.
00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:27.120
And I said, Okay, cool.
00:12:27.919 --> 00:12:30.080
So can I just shop for it myself?
00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:31.600
And I already paid for it.
00:12:31.759 --> 00:12:32.399
Right.
00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:40.320
So I contacted uh Instacart and I was like, hey, here's the deal, blah, blah, blah.
00:12:41.440 --> 00:12:44.720
Let me just go through some of these messages real quick that I have.
00:12:45.039 --> 00:12:45.919
Go for it.
00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:50.000
Um are you still available to chat?
00:12:50.559 --> 00:12:51.120
Yes.
00:12:51.519 --> 00:12:53.279
I've gotten that message before.
00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:56.559
Um let's see.
00:12:56.799 --> 00:12:57.919
Placed an order yesterday.
00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:01.279
I went to pick it up today, and they said that everything was back on the shelves.
00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:05.840
So I need to cancel the order because the money has already been taken out of my account.
00:13:08.159 --> 00:13:19.600
Um I was told that the previous shopper was unassigned during the ready for pickup stage due to the shopper having an emergency.
00:13:20.159 --> 00:13:23.919
And because of that, the previous shopper could not complete your order.
00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:28.799
But the new shopper will be assigned, and the shopper will deliver the order.
00:13:29.039 --> 00:13:31.039
So does so how does this shit work?
00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:33.519
Do the people that work in the store not shop for it?
00:13:33.679 --> 00:13:34.320
No, they do.
00:13:34.639 --> 00:13:34.799
Okay.
00:13:35.279 --> 00:13:35.519
Yeah.
00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:37.360
So then they bring it to your house?
00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:44.320
So all of this shit all of this shit by somebody by the name of Monaj?
00:13:45.039 --> 00:13:46.720
M-A-N-O-J.
00:13:47.519 --> 00:13:48.000
Nikki.
00:13:48.480 --> 00:13:49.039
Right.
00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:53.679
Is what I can tell is a lie.
00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:55.360
I said, uh.
00:13:56.960 --> 00:14:01.840
So remember, he said the shopper will deliver the order.
00:14:02.240 --> 00:14:05.200
I said it was a pickup order, not a delivery.
00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:08.480
He said, yes, correct.
00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:12.399
The order is a pickup order.
00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:22.320
The previous shopper was unassigned during the ready for pickup stage due to an emergency, and because of that, uh, the previous shopper could not complete the order.
00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:27.919
The new shopper will be assigned, and the shopper will make your order ready for pickup.
00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:28.960
There we go.
00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:30.960
Now, when was this?
00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:32.240
This is last night.
00:14:32.399 --> 00:14:32.639
Okay.
00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:42.399
So remember, I've already talked to Aldi, and Aldi said, Oh, yeah, we remember your order, we just put it back on the shelf because you that's what we do.
00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:43.200
Right.
00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:47.440
So all this shit from Instacart is fucking bullshit.
00:14:48.080 --> 00:14:56.320
So I responded, I said, okay, because I stopped by Aldi and they told me that if a pickup order isn't picked up on the same day, or is put back on the shelves.
00:14:56.799 --> 00:15:01.039
I said, so as of now, my order will be ready tomorrow at Audi.
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:08.960
And he asked me, we went through some rescheduling processes, and he said basically, like, what time do you want to pick it up?
00:15:09.039 --> 00:15:13.039
I said, I get off work at 3, so I said, do a slot from 3 p.m.
00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:13.679
to 4 p.m.
00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:14.240
pickup.
00:15:14.399 --> 00:15:14.960
Right.
00:15:15.279 --> 00:15:19.200
He said, I have successfully rescheduled your order to 3 and to 4 p.m.
00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:25.360
The new delivery information should appear on your order page in both the app and the website.
00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:30.799
I didn't feel like going back and forth with delivery or pickup.
00:15:30.960 --> 00:15:33.919
So I said, he said, is there anything else I can help you with?
00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:34.799
I said, nah.
00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:41.279
So fast forward to today, I I get off work at 3.
00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:41.840
Right.
00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:44.720
I look in the app and nothing's changed.
00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:51.679
And um I contact support and I'm like, hey, what's up with my pickup order?
00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:57.600
And they tell me, like, oh, rest assured, we will assign a shopper.
00:15:58.240 --> 00:15:59.919
By now it's like 3 15.
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:02.159
And they're like, we will assign a shopper.
00:16:02.399 --> 00:16:03.759
Were they actually saying rest assured?
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:04.159
Yeah.
00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:05.759
I would not rest assured.
00:16:06.080 --> 00:16:08.080
I was not rested and I was not assured.
00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:08.879
Right.
00:16:09.840 --> 00:16:18.320
Um, so they were like, hey, like, you know, we're gonna have a shopper and your order will be ready for pickup by 4 p.m.
00:16:20.159 --> 00:16:27.440
So 440 rolls around, and I'm like, hmm, my order's still not ready for pickup.
00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:28.799
Let me contact support.
00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:39.600
So I contact support, let them know the situation, and they said, as I checked, the order will be delivered within the estimated delivery window.
00:16:41.120 --> 00:16:45.279
Now, mind you, again, this is a fucking pickup order.
00:16:46.240 --> 00:16:48.879
I said, so now the order is a delivery.
00:16:50.399 --> 00:16:55.840
And they said, upon my checking, the order will be delivered by 11.03 a.m.
00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:57.039
Tomorrow?
00:16:57.360 --> 00:16:58.799
Eastern Standard Time.
00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:03.919
I responded with tomorrow question mark.
00:17:04.079 --> 00:17:05.519
All right, good question.
00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:08.000
Good question, good question, good question.
00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:09.279
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:11.599
Uh they responded with, let me check that.
00:17:11.680 --> 00:17:14.319
May I place you on hold for a brief one or two minutes?
00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:16.640
I responded, okay.
00:17:17.680 --> 00:17:21.839
Upon my checking, the order will be delivered by 11.03 a.m.
00:17:22.240 --> 00:17:23.119
tomorrow.
00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:26.160
That doesn't work for me, obviously, because I work.
00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:27.119
Right.
00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:32.160
And so I said, What's the delivery address?
00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:40.400
And they said the delivery address is 1600 East Little Creek Road, Norfolk, Virginia.
00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:44.799
I don't live at 1600 East Little Creek Road.
00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:46.559
But you want to know who does?
00:17:48.559 --> 00:17:49.279
Do you want to know?
00:17:49.440 --> 00:17:50.240
I want to know.
00:17:51.440 --> 00:17:57.440
The resident at 1600 East Little Creek Road is Aldi.
00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:03.200
So they're gonna they're gonna pick it up, put it in their car, and deliver it to Aldi.
00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:05.119
And then Aldi's gonna put it back on the show.
00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:07.200
What the fuck is this shit?
00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:08.240
What the fuck just happened?
00:18:09.440 --> 00:18:10.559
Thought we just got this out.
00:18:10.720 --> 00:18:13.519
Now here's the this part's crazy.
00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:16.000
So I said, um, what's the delivery address?
00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:17.519
They said 1600.
00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:21.359
I said, that's the address to Aldi.
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:24.480
And they responded, yes.
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:30.799
I said, oh no, now this is Singram.
00:18:32.720 --> 00:18:36.480
I said, so my order is being delivered to the Aldi.
00:18:39.359 --> 00:18:46.400
They responded with the order is placed on Aldi on February 28th, 2026.
00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:50.000
You should have called them.
00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:52.079
I said, you're making no sense at all.
00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:53.119
Oh, you said that?
00:18:53.599 --> 00:18:53.839
Yeah.
00:18:54.079 --> 00:18:54.640
Good job.
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:57.519
And here this part is what's crazy.
00:18:57.599 --> 00:19:00.079
So like we were just talking about my active order.
00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:06.079
He's telling me that the order is gonna be delivered and all this stuff.
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:08.160
So there is an active order.
00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:11.279
So I say, You're making no sense at all.
00:19:11.440 --> 00:19:16.079
He says, Upon checking, the order has been canceled from your end.
00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:17.680
What?
00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:19.680
What?
00:19:19.920 --> 00:19:20.319
Right.
00:19:20.480 --> 00:19:22.400
I said, I never cancel the order.
00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:23.680
What is happening?
00:19:23.839 --> 00:19:26.079
I've already paid for this order.
00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:32.319
And he said, I see that the order is canceled from your end.
00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:35.279
I said, what the fuck?
00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:37.279
I never canceled the order.
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:40.880
He said, as I checked, the order has been canceled from your end.
00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:44.960
Please place a new order and you will receive the new order.
00:19:49.359 --> 00:19:52.640
So Did you get your money back?
00:19:54.240 --> 00:19:55.440
I haven't yet.
00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:58.559
You got hustled by Instacart.
00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:04.319
Bro, so there is a refund in progress, which is probably gonna take three days.
00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:05.759
You can't eat.
00:20:06.079 --> 00:20:09.440
I mean, I got food and shit, like, but like still No, that's not the point.
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:17.920
Right, though I ha the way I am right now is how I was when I was talking to them.
00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:18.480
Right.
00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:19.759
Speechless.
00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:20.480
Right.
00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:22.640
How the fuck are you this dumb?
00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:25.279
I bet you grocery shop on your own from now on.
00:20:25.519 --> 00:20:26.559
God damn right.
00:20:27.119 --> 00:20:28.319
You try to save two dollars.
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:30.319
But here but here but here's the thing.
00:20:30.400 --> 00:20:34.240
I paid for a fucking um subscription.
00:20:34.720 --> 00:20:35.519
Annual membership.
00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:37.359
Oh I I got that.
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:40.720
As uh I'm gonna go a little deeper.
00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:43.039
So she usually likes that.
00:20:43.759 --> 00:20:45.279
I give him what I can.
00:20:46.640 --> 00:20:52.240
Um you never eat pussy from the back.
00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:54.559
Oh yeah, you get a little ass in there too.
00:20:57.119 --> 00:20:58.000
My favorite.
00:20:58.160 --> 00:20:58.720
Oh yeah.
00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:00.559
Suck on the gooch a little bit.
00:21:01.759 --> 00:21:03.359
God damn it, now I'm horny.
00:21:03.599 --> 00:21:04.400
Don't do that.
00:21:04.559 --> 00:21:07.039
I like not with you, not with not with you.
00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:12.880
But like I'm just like, man, I really wish like I had somebody I could fuck with.
00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:14.079
Anyway.
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:15.440
Wonder why not?
00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:16.799
Right, why not?
00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:18.720
Such an old crack ass up.
00:21:18.880 --> 00:21:20.960
Right, old screen ass looking ass.
00:21:21.200 --> 00:21:23.039
Let me go swing from the ceiling.
00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:25.440
All right, old goddamn fucking ass.
00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:27.759
Old goddamn long face bitch.
00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:38.799
It's crazy that like when you set a standard for yourself and the person doesn't meet that standard, and you're like, hey, you don't meet that standard that I have for myself.
00:21:38.880 --> 00:21:40.000
You're kind of below that shit.
00:21:40.160 --> 00:21:49.839
They're like, but also I've noticed that you meet a lot of people, like you personally meet a lot of people that act.
00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:54.799
They they they they do things that hot people do, and they're not hot.
00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:55.920
You know what I'm saying?
00:21:56.079 --> 00:21:56.240
Right.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:57.920
They're holding themselves to that higher standard.
00:21:58.160 --> 00:21:58.480
Right.
00:21:58.640 --> 00:21:59.359
Like they don't.
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:03.039
Dude, I look at myself in the mirror, I'm like, I'm fat.
00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:03.839
I know what I am.
00:22:04.079 --> 00:22:04.240
Yeah.
00:22:04.400 --> 00:22:05.519
Solid six.
00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:06.799
Whatever.
00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:07.680
Yeah, maybe.
00:22:07.920 --> 00:22:09.920
Um thank you.
00:22:10.160 --> 00:22:13.680
Um regardless of- I don't know, dude.
00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:14.319
Like I'm one.
00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:15.039
Eight dog.
00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:16.559
Eight.
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:22.559
But I was gonna say, like, regardless, um regardless or irregardless.
00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:23.359
Whatever.
00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:23.759
Alright.
00:22:24.160 --> 00:22:28.079
That'll be a different like we'll we'll branch off into a different topic.
00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:33.119
Um but regardless, those fucking people, I don't even remember what I was saying.
00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:39.519
They hold themselves to like such a high standard and they're just Ugly.
00:22:40.079 --> 00:22:41.119
They're just not.
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:41.440
Yeah.
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:42.799
I know what I am.
00:22:42.960 --> 00:22:44.079
I'm cool with it.
00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:44.799
Right.
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.279
I ain't got no qualms about it.
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:54.000
Um there things I can do to make myself higher on that standard list?
00:22:54.319 --> 00:22:54.400
Yeah.
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:55.200
Cologne.
00:22:55.440 --> 00:22:55.839
Oh my god.
00:22:56.319 --> 00:22:56.799
Dress nice.
00:22:57.039 --> 00:22:57.440
Well, yeah.
00:22:57.599 --> 00:22:59.440
I was gonna say lose weight, but yeah.
00:22:59.920 --> 00:23:06.079
But yeah, sometimes but sometimes you can take what you have and present that.
00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:07.359
Oh yeah.
00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:08.960
I mean elegantly, you know.
00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:15.039
I'd be doing that when somebody at the right standard fucking presents themselves.
00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:16.160
You know what I'm saying?
00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:16.799
Yeah.
00:23:17.119 --> 00:23:20.720
But um, yeah, if you're not at that standard, you don't get what you get.
00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:21.599
Right.
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:26.000
So Back to Instacart.
00:23:26.319 --> 00:23:27.359
Back to Instacart.
00:23:27.920 --> 00:23:33.440
So I paid for this fucking um annual membership just like a couple days ago.
00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:35.440
Last week, sometime.
00:23:36.160 --> 00:23:40.559
And they were running this deal where you can get the annual membership for$49 instead of the$100.
00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:41.519
Right.
00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:42.640
And I was like, fuck it.
00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:48.480
I and I was like, fuck it, I wanna cancel this shit and I wanna refund.
00:23:49.519 --> 00:23:56.240
And so when I uh what's his name?
00:23:56.559 --> 00:23:59.200
I'm not gonna try to pronounce it again.
00:23:59.680 --> 00:24:05.839
But they they transferred me to uh a person named Annie.
00:24:06.559 --> 00:24:09.920
And they said, uh Wow.
00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:12.559
Hello Winston.
00:24:12.960 --> 00:24:14.799
What a lucky customer you are.
00:24:15.200 --> 00:24:16.400
I don't fucking feel like it.
00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:17.119
Right.
00:24:17.599 --> 00:24:19.039
I don't fucking feel like it.
00:24:19.359 --> 00:24:21.759
Annie's like, what a lucky customer.
00:24:21.920 --> 00:24:28.079
Um I noticed that like you got our$99 annual membership deal for$49.
00:24:28.960 --> 00:24:30.799
That wow, congratulations.
00:24:31.839 --> 00:24:34.240
I was like, yeah, can I cancel and get a refund?
00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:43.839
And they're like, do you know that like you got a 50% discount on the annual membership?
00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:46.880
I said, I know all this.
00:24:50.160 --> 00:24:56.319
And they said, I was just making sure you were aware of all of the services and values you were getting with this offer.
00:24:56.799 --> 00:25:06.480
You're getting zero delivery fees on eligible orders of ten dollars or more on grocery or retail orders to receive free delivery from Costco customers.
00:25:06.640 --> 00:25:14.240
Uh Costco customers must place an order of$35 or more, but you're still getting zero dollars on delivery.
00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:16.079
Uh 6-7.
00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:17.680
Right.
00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:28.000
Instacart offers Peacock streaming at no additional cost the option to share your Instacart plus membership with three other people through your family account.
00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:34.640
Unlock a year of culinary inspiration, save twenty dollars a year.
00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:40.880
Save twenty dollars per year compared to monthly membership.
00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:41.680
Right.
00:25:42.799 --> 00:25:45.039
And I said, Will I get a refund or not?
00:25:45.279 --> 00:25:45.680
Right.
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:49.440
Like quit trying to sell me on what I already know I paid for.
00:25:49.599 --> 00:25:50.160
Right.
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:52.400
And basically she said, no.
00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:53.759
No.
00:25:54.079 --> 00:25:56.079
Because uh Yeah, but for the year though?
00:25:56.480 --> 00:25:58.559
I guess I have Instagram for the year, so I guess I'll be paying.
00:25:58.720 --> 00:25:59.599
And Peacock.
00:26:00.079 --> 00:26:02.720
Yeah, I gotta look into that because now I want to know.
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:04.799
Because I'd be paying for Peacock.
00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:05.200
Right.
00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:07.920
If it's the basic one with the ads, I'm gonna cancel that shit.
00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:11.440
Or I'll just pay what I'm already paying.
00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:12.079
Right.
00:26:12.640 --> 00:26:13.359
Yeah, I'm the same way.
00:26:13.440 --> 00:26:14.079
I can't do ads.
00:26:14.240 --> 00:26:14.400
Yeah.
00:26:14.720 --> 00:26:20.559
You ever see commercials on regular like if you're watching like a game or something and there's a commercial, you're like, the fuck is this?
00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:21.119
Right.
00:26:21.359 --> 00:26:22.799
Why can't I skip you?
00:26:23.039 --> 00:26:23.680
Right.
00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:30.880
So basically I said, uh I sent a really mean message at the end of this.
00:26:31.839 --> 00:26:33.279
We said I sent a mean one?
00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:34.079
Yeah.
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:35.440
We called her Lori.
00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:38.480
Thanks, Lori.
00:26:39.039 --> 00:26:40.240
Dad still loves you.
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:40.960
Right.
00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:44.160
Um you hugged her from the back.
00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:47.599
Remember?
00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:48.960
Yeah.
00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:50.880
Somebody hugged your dad from the back.
00:26:51.279 --> 00:26:53.119
If I ever meet your dad, that's the only way I'm gonna hug him.
00:26:53.839 --> 00:26:55.599
Turn around, big guy.
00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:57.440
Jesus Christ.
00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:06.559
Right.
00:27:06.799 --> 00:27:10.640
Um this has been terrible.
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:11.759
Thank you.
00:27:12.000 --> 00:27:12.480
Right.
00:27:12.720 --> 00:27:14.240
And then I logged off.
00:27:14.880 --> 00:27:15.680
Good job, man.
00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:17.440
We did not crash out too bad.
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:18.480
Yeah, no, it wasn't too bad.
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:21.599
It wasn't like JG Wentworth when I went on a Taco Bell.
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:23.759
Tell that story.
00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:25.039
You know what?
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:27.440
Maybe another time.
00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:28.720
Maybe another time.
00:27:31.279 --> 00:27:36.960
Um I'm always dying in your uh in your own.
00:27:37.119 --> 00:27:38.240
Oh, I swear.
00:27:39.039 --> 00:27:39.440
Right.
00:27:39.680 --> 00:27:40.240
Well.
00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:43.920
Unfortunately, this week we had to do a short one.
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:45.039
Yeah.
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:47.279
But at least we gotta hear about Instacart.
00:27:48.079 --> 00:27:52.000
I mean, hopefully you guys enjoyed the Instacart story.
00:27:52.079 --> 00:27:54.079
I mean You know.
00:27:54.319 --> 00:27:57.519
I bet you the name of the title's gonna be Instacart.
00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:00.319
That's it.
00:28:00.640 --> 00:28:01.839
No, I thought there was more.
00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:02.319
No.
00:28:02.799 --> 00:28:04.880
Dude, no, like really upset about it.
00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:09.039
Like I can have more groceries in my fridge right now.
00:28:09.200 --> 00:28:09.599
Yeah.
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:11.039
And I can't.
00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:16.000
They done uh they done fucked up.
00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:19.920
And now I gotta fucking wait.
00:28:20.640 --> 00:28:25.839
I gotta wait for my re I mean, I can I can buy the groceries again, but I want that refund.
00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:26.160
Right.
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:27.279
And here's what's gonna happen.
00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:36.319
That refund is gonna happen, and I'm gonna forget to freeze my card and other dumb shit that I forgot to cancel wasn't gonna is gonna get paid.
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:37.119
Right.
00:28:38.400 --> 00:28:40.880
I fuck I I hate the world we live in.
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:41.279
Yeah.
00:28:41.519 --> 00:28:43.200
With all these subscriptions and shit.
00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:43.519
Yeah.
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:44.799
We fuck ourselves, everybody.
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:46.480
Everything's a fucking subscription.
00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:47.119
Yep.
00:28:48.160 --> 00:29:02.160
So with that being said, if you guys would like to subscribe to see more of this episode, uh we're offering annual memberships at uh$100 per year, and you get to see But if you're a lucky customer.
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:19.440
But if you're a lucky customer, and we'll decide who the lucky customer is, um you'll get it for fifty dollars, but you get to see behind the scenes action of the shit we do, um, some other uh longer topic things where we go into topics longer than what we were before.
00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:21.759
There's no annual membership.
00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:23.759
Yeah, there's no subscription.
00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:25.440
You got a quote?
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:33.039
Um, if you subscribe, be sure you want to abide.
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:55.119
Well we've been rambling, sharing our minds, talking about nothing, and all we can find.
00:29:56.400 --> 00:29:59.920
Winston and Brian, they're keeping it real.
00:30:01.440 --> 00:30:09.920
Just two little voice with plenty of spill pull up a chair, next time.
00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:16.480
Same old voice is a pretty It's just until too free.
00:30:20.400 --> 00:32:36.799
It's just all the sleep on the top still enough it's down the road They've got the black They've got the chalk A little bit of mystery, but no one gets on From the kitchen table to the open if they'll free Cause they just don't care to the last it's too fun, it's like goodbye, it's just too much it's all unfiltered and free just to be down with the big bag Oh it's just all the filter down the road They've got the lantern, they've got the chalk, a little bit of mischief, but no one gets home From the kitchen table to the open in the free Cause they just don't care So here's to the laugh here to the fun say goodbyes just to free stuff We're gonna get that with down the road