Rye Bread So Good It Started a Rom-Com

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Hey, I'm Maxie, but you can call me X, and welcome to the Star Blessings.
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Come on in.
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Grab a pew and fix your hands.
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Just enough my eye.
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This is the legendary segment where we take those gorgeous five-star reviews and we add our own dramatic over-the-top Nikodas' glitter and sparkle to them for some serious end of the week left.
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So go ahead and grab your wine or communion if you're vibing with me at home or keep your hands on the steering wheel if I'm your ride or die.
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So we're gonna go ahead and just let this music flow while we do our bizarre blessing announcements.
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Will all the visitors stand and wave or wave your hands if you're at home or uh driving and you're safely at a stoplight?
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Amen.
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And touch the hem of his garments.
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We're happy that you're here and would love for you to continue to join us.
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Thank you to all of our returning listeners.
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Also, as we pass this offering tray around, it's a good segue to mention that you can now become an official monthly supporter of the show.
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You'll go into the fan mail link or you can enter it on Instagram at Behind Your Reviews.
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Fair warning, the funniest ones might get read alive on air.
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And we're gonna go ahead and let the fairies come on in.
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Alright, this is in Kansas City, Missouri.
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I went there for the first time with my husband for drinks and appetizers.
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One of the best charcuteries I've had, as well as their fig jam old fashioned.
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I see why I'm getting mixed up because they didn't really say that right.
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And you guys know I love English.
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So anyway, the writer goes on to say that the ladies' bathroom had a lounge area that was super cool and amazing.
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I guess time must have drifted by as I got caught up in the rapture of taking so many selfies and group pictures with the lovely ladies that came into the ladies' room because my husband literally called my phone and asked, Hey, are you okay?
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I hear the man's room has one simulator for the guys, as a matter of fact.
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And I'm so glad he didn't have to go.
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He may have gotten completely lost too.
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And we just found out they're starting to have live jive, live jazz certain nights as well.
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Very open room, comfy seating, and nice atmosphere to mix and mingle.
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Highly recommended for impressive first date or place or any date.
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Okay, first and foremost, I truly hope your vehicle will safely part because you're celebrating and we're celebrating an absolutely five-star diamond miracle here.
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You went out on a romantic night and you sipped some premium fig jam old fashions and ate luxury meets, but the ladies' room, y'all.
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Let's talk about the ladies' room.
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The ladies' bathroom lounge was so unbelievably glamorous, you entered a full-blown selfie rapture.
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You spent 45 minutes staging high fashion group photo shoots with total strangers until your husband had to call your cell phone to make sure that you were still there and that you're in the building.
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He thought you ghosted him.
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He thought that you skipped out.
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Fashion week walkway, actually.
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But anyway, I'm so glad he stayed at the table because had he come looking for you, people probably would have been at your table eating y'all food.
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Because clearly your food done got there and was getting cold.
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And he was looking like, what is going on?
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Is everything okay?
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He was like, Where's my where's my wife?
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Where's my did you say your wife or your girlfriend?
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Blah blah blah.
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Yeah, yeah.
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He was like, Where is where's my wife?
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Is she okay?
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So he called your phone.
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He was like, Babe, you alright?
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You you just went to the bathroom.
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You ain't go to the house, did you?
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You okay?
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Oh my goodness.
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He said, You said you're glad he stayed at the table.
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Because if he went to the men's restroom, he probably would have been doing the same thing.
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And he probably would have got lost forever.
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Y'all, question Does a bathroom lounge ever look this nice that you have a maybe they got the little selfie station where you could take pictures and stuff?
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Because she did a whole, she did a whole fashion photo shoot.
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And so does it ever get like that?
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I haven't seen one yet.
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Y'all let me know.
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And we're gonna go ahead and give her her very sparkles because I think she deserved that.
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She found a really nice, a really nice place, and she just started doing some selfies and forgot that she was really at dinner, obviously.
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That was cute.
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I like that one.
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All right, let's see what's next.
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Savannah, Georgia.
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Everything was a 10 out of 10, and I mean that on a cosmic scale.
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If you I need to adjust this.
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Okay, on a cosmic scale.
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If you are even casually contemplating walking through those doors, cease contemplation, spirit.
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Cease contemplation and spirit.
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Throw your keys, abandon your vehicle at the curb.
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What?
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You'll have no regrets in this life or the next.
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We were so blessed with the server named Nick.
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Nick did not simply take our order, he gently guided us through personal emotional blockages with effortless banter.
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Ask for Nick by name.
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He will look into your soul and tell you what your spirit requires.
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We ordered the Dubai French toast, the short rib, the classic breakfast, and the Dulce de Leche waffles.
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When the waffle hit the table, the restaurant fell dead silent.
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A couple, two booths over, stopped arguing about their mortgage just to weep softly at the caramel drizzle.
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The short rib was so intensely flavory that I temporarily forgot my own middle name.
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If an item on the menu catches your eye, order it immediately.
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Physics will rearrange itself to guarantee it tastes phenomenal.
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I've already put my apartment on Sublase so I can sleep in their entry until breakfast service tomorrow.
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What?
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First and foremost, I truly hope your vehicle was safely parallel parked by the busser.
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And the keys were waiting at the host stand whenever you finally decide to touch down to mortal society.
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Because here on Bizarre Blessing Sunday, we do not just dine, we transcend, baby.
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Listen, I support this viewer, reviewer 1000%.
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When you find a server like Nick, you don't just tip him 20%, you put him on your emergency contact list.
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Don't you forget to do that.
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Nick is not bringing out extra napkins.
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Nick is clearing your chakras right between the appetizer and the entree.
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He looked this person dead in the eyes and said, I know your credit score is shaky, but your spirit requires this waffle.
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And we can talk about the couple.
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Two booms over.
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Can we do that?
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Let's talk about the couple.
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There's two booms over, okay?
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I genuinely believe that the Dose Leche Caramel Drizzle saved a 30-year marriage right on the spot.
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That's not brunch, y'all.
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That's court order mediation on a porcelain plate.
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Y'all know it.
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And the short rib erasing your middle name, medical science, needs to study this kitchen immediately.
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So to our beloved reviewer, I hope you enjoyed your night on that restaurant entry on that restaurant entry floor.
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I hope you did.
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Sub leasing that apartment.
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Yeah, go ahead and do that.
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And may Nick forever guide your table.
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And may your brunch always be this aggressively spiritually flavored.
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And you're truly walking in the blessings on this day.
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Oh goodness, y'all.
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That was hilarious.
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I was trying not to laugh, y'all.
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I really was.
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Alright, y'all.
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This one right here is in Palatka, Florida.
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I haven't been to Palatka in a long time.
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Elementary school.
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We took the train to Palatka.
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That was real nice.
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That was my very first train ride.
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I will never forget it.
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Okay.
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So this was in Palatka.
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The um reviewer writes, I stumbled upon this spot today.
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No, seriously.
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There was a piece of eye candy jogging by, and I would have sworn he stepped straight out of a movie or a magazine.
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You pick your poison, you pick one.
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That was right when a piece of uneven sidewalk or my shoestrane decided to trip me up.
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Just when I caught my balance and turned around, Lord help me.
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I almost got hit by the door to this amazing place.
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I thought, geez, this looks like a nice place for lunch, and it was absolutely wonderful.
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This place is so cute inside, and it had the sweetest vibes.
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The service was great and very friendly.
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Definitely recommended, definitely recommend the rye bread.
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It was amazing.
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I cannot recommend it enough.
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We live about an hour away and already planning a trip back over here just to stop here.
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What a great find in Palakka.
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Mm-hmm.
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My goodness.
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This is a real world romantic comedy script playing out live in Florida.
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You're casually walking down the avenue, see an absolute magazine covered piece of eye candy just jogging past your face.
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You lose your entire physical balance, tripped over your own shoestrings, stumbled across an uneven sidewalk, and launched head first straight up into the front door of a local cafe.
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Lord help me.
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That is a blessing from the universe.
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Head first.
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I almost said something, but the Sunday, so I had to the good words stop me.
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Landed face first into an amazing loaf of artisanal rye bread.
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I just be thinking about this stuff like and just so y'all press about to say pronounce.
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So if I don't say it right, just pray for me.
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I don't know, maybe not.
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Don't pray for me.
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I'm I'll take the bite.
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Anyway, so and then you got and then you said you live half an hour away or an hour away and you planning to come back?
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Hopefully you don't take all of those trips just to get into the just to get into the into the restaurant.
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My goodness.
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Hope you don't have that revisit to the collision again.
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My goodness.
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Y'all, have you ever had an experience where you see such a nice piece of eye candy and it just make you lose your whole focus and your balance and your thought process?
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What do you do?
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How do you recover?
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Especially like if you trip looking at something.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like if you was driving or something, how does it?
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I was trying to listen to this girl conversation.
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She was like cursing out her boyfriend this past weekend.
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And on the on the cell phone while she was walking her baby, we was I was coming from outdoors.
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I was like, man, I just want to go back back into my parking space and just roll down my windows and listen.
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Pitch, listen to that conversation.
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Have you ever had a moment like that?
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Or you just think, man, you're just nosy.
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I am, but in my own space.
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Anyway, we are going to grant them their fairy sparkles.