WEBVTT
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It's 9 40 at night.
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Picture a leader at her kitchen table.
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The laptop is open.
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The house is quiet.
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The report on her screen is finished.
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Her team finished it at 4 o'clock this afternoon.
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It was reviewed, it was signed off, it is ready to go.
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And she's opening it again, line by line.
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This is the part I want you to notice.
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It's not her own work she's checking, it's theirs.
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If you asked her why, she would have a good answer.
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She would say she's being thorough.
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She would say this is what high standards look like.
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Here is the line I want you to carry through this whole episode.
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The moment pressure rises, some leaders start checking everything.
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It looks like standards, it's something else.
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Today I'm going to tell you what I think that something else is.
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Welcome to the AI Cafe Conversations.
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I'm Sahar Andradi, and this is where the neuroscience of pressure meets the future of leadership.
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Before we start, one thing I say every time.
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Everything I share comes from my experience and my opinion as a coach.
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It's not a diagnosis and it's not a fact about you.
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You decide what fits.
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Let me be clear about the woman at the kitchen table.
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She is not a real client.
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I built her so we would have someone to follow today.
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But the moment is real.
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People describe it in public, in their own words, and in a minute, I'm going to read you some of those words.
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So here is today's question: Why do leaders start checking everyone's work when the pressure goes up?
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And notice what I did not say.
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I did not say micromanagers.
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I am not talking about the leader who has always hovered over every desk.
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I'm talking about the leader who used to trust, the one who built a strong team on purpose, the one who hands work off well in a calm quarter.
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And then the quarter stops being calm and something shifts.
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Let me show you what the shifts looks like.
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From the outside first, because the people around the leader usually see it before the leader does.
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I keep a collection of things people have written in public about leaders under pressure.
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Real accounts, their words, not mine.
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One of them comes from a long tenure employee.
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This person described a boss who had become blunt and impatient, and who had started demanding screenshots as proof that the work was done.
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Even when a simple system delay explained the gap.
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Screenshots as proof.
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Another person wrote this.
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Quote My new manager has started to micromanage me and takes over my work very often.
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End quote.
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Takes over my work very often.
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Hold on to these two pictures.
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Screenshots as proof taking the work back.
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Now, I do not know those two managers.
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I cannot tell you what was going on for either of them.
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And I'm not going to guess here.
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That would not be fair to them, and it would not be honest of me.
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What I can do is flip the camera.
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I can walk around the desk and stand on the leader's side, and I can tell you what this tends to look like from there.
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So let's go back to the kitchen table.
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From her side, it doesn't feel like distrust.
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That is the first thing to understand.
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It feels like responsibility.
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It feels like care.
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The stakes went up, so her attention went up.
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What could be wrong with that?
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And it starts small.
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It always starts small.
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She asks to be copied on one more email thread, just to stay close to it.
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She asks for the draft a day early, just to take a quick look.
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She joins a meeting, she used to skip just this once.
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She rewrites the opening paragraph herself because it's faster than explaining what she wants.
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Listen to those sentences again.
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Just copy me.
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Send it to me before it goes out.
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I only want a quick look.
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It's faster if I do it.
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Each one of those is reasonable, every single one.
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That is why nobody catches it, including her.
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Let me slow that down because the timeline matters.
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Week one, she reads one extra draft.
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It takes 15 minutes.
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She finds a small error and she fixes it.
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And that small error does something.
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It tells her she was right to look.
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Week three.
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She is reading every draft.
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She has stopped waiting to be asked.
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She is in the shared folder at night.
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Week six.
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Nothing leaves the department without passing through her inbox.
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Nobody made that a rule.
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It simply became true.
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Stack those weeks up and then look at her calendar.
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The work she handed off has come back.
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Quietly.
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One check at a time.
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She did not take the projects back.
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She took the checking back.
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And checking, it turns out, is most of the work.
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That is what I mean when I say delegation can start shrinking one small check at a time.
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Nobody announces it.
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There is no meeting where she stands up and says, I no longer trust this team.
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On paper, everything is still delegated.
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The names are still next to the tasks.
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But every decision now runs through one desk.
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Hers.
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Now I want to add the part of the load that is new.
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Leaders today are not only carrying more, they are carrying faster.
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And AI is a real part of that weight.
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I want to be exact here.
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So let me give you one number and tell you where it comes from.
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In September of 2026, Corn Ferry released its workforce 2026 report.
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They surveyed 16,000 professionals across 11 global markets.
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And 52% said that using AI has increased their workloads.
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Not decreased, increased.
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Sit with that for a second.
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The tool that was supposed to lift the load is for about half of the people they asked, adding to it.
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More output to read, more options to weigh, more speed expected from everyone at every level.
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Now let me be careful because this matters.
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I'm not telling you that AI is the reading leaders check their people.
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I do not have evidence for that, and I'm not going to pretend that I do.
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What I'm telling you is simpler.
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AI is one more weight on a mind that is already full.
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And a full mind is where today's story begins.
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I want to stay on the leader's side of the desk for the cost.
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What this does to the people being checked is its own conversation.
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It deserves its own space.
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And I'm not going to squeeze it in here.
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Today I only want to count what it cost her, the leader.
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First time, every check is small.
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10 minutes here, 20 minutes there, but add them up, she's now doing two jobs.
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Her own and a second pass on everyone else's.
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Second, the load itself.
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Here is the loop as I see it, and this is the cruel part.
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The load gets up, so the checking goes up.
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The checking takes hours, so the load goes up again.
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She's feeling the very thing that started it.
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Third, and in my opinion, this is the most expensive one, her own thinking.
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The hours she spends rereading finished work are the hours she used to spend on the questions only she can answer.
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Where are we going?
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What are we not seeing?
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Who do we need that we do not have?
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Nobody else on that team can do that work.
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It's hers.
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And it's the first thing to go.
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And there is a fourth cause that nobody, nobody counts.
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The evenings.
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The kitchen table at 9:40 p.m.
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was supposed to be the part of the day where the load comes off.
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It has become a second shift.
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So picture her three months in, she's exhausted.
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She's behind.
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And she is more convinced than ever that she has to check.
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Because now there really is less time.
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Now there really is more at risk.
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And from where she sits, the checking did not cause the problem.
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The checking is the only thing holding it together.
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That's how it feels.
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And that feeling is exactly what we need to look underneath.
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Here is what most people get wrong about this.
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When a leader starts checking everything, the people watching reach for a character explanation.
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She's a control freak.
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She has trust issues.
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She was always like this.
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And the pressure just showed it.
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And the leader reaches for the opposite explanation.
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I'm being diligent.
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I'm protecting the client.
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This is what accountability looks like.
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Two stories.
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One says bad character, one says good standards.
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I think of both of them are missing the mechanism.
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Because both stories assume the same thing.
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They assume the leader chose this.
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That she sat down one morning, looked at her team, and decided to trust them less.
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In my experience, that's almost never how it goes.
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Nobody decides, it creeps.
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So if it's not a decision, what is it?
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Let's talk about what trust costs.
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We usually talk about trust like it's a feeling, warm, soft, something a person either has or does not have.
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I want you to think about it differently today.
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I want you to think about trust as work, work that the brain does.
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Here is what I mean.
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When a leader hands off something that matters, she has to hold an open question in her mind.
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Is it on track?
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Will it be right?
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Will it be on time?
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And she has to hold that question without answering it for days, sometimes for weeks.
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That is what trusting someone really is.
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It's carrying an unanswered question on purpose and staying steady while you carry it.
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Think of a waiter crossing a crowded room with a full tray.
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Every delegated project is one more glass on that tray.
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A skilled waiter can carry a lot, but there is a limit.
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And if someone bumps into him, the first thing he wants to do is put the tray down.
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Carrying takes capacity, and in the brain, a lot of that capacity lives right behind the forehead in the prefrontal cortex or PFC.
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That is the part that holds things in mind, weighs what is likely and keeps attention and emotion steady.
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You can feel a small version of this yourself.
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Try to hold the phone number in your hand.
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Now have someone ask you a question while you're holding it.
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Feel that?
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The number starts to slip.
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Holding takes effort.
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And the more a person is holding, the less room there is for anything new.
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So what happens to that part of the train, the brain under pressure?
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That is where the research comes in.
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In 2009, the neuroscientist Amy Arnstein published a review in the journal Nature Reviews Neuroscience.
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I'm going to read you one sentence from it, exactly as she wrote it.
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Quote, even quite mild, acute, uncontrollable stress can cause a rapid and dramatic loss of prefrontal cognitive abilities.
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Even quite mild, acute, and controllable stress can cause a rapid and dramatic loss of prefrontal cognitive abilities.
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Mild stress, rapid loss.
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Her review describes what happens next.
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Control of behavior and emotion shifts towards faster and more automatic circuits.
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The careful.
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Patient part of the brain gives ground to the quick protective part.
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In plain words, somebody bumped the waiter.
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Now I want to put a second piece of research next to that one.
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And I want to be honest with you about its size because it's small.
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In 2015, two researchers, I hope I'm not gonna butcher their names here, Katarzina Sampson and Patrick Sus Kostisine published an experiment in the journal PLOS 1.
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90 students at the University of Warsaw.
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They played something called a trust game.
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In a trust game, you decide how much money to hand the partner, hoping the partner sent some of it back.
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Some of the students played with a clear head, the others played with a loaded mind.
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One group had to memorize a string of characters while they played, another group had to listen to a disturbing noise.
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Same game, same kind of partner.
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The only thing that changed was how their how full their minds were.
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And the students with loaded minds trusted less.
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They handed over less money.
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It did not matter which kind of load it was.
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Now, 90 students in Warsaw are not a room full of executives.
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I know that.
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One experiment is not a law of nature, and I'm not going to sell it to you as one.
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But I look at what it points to.
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Nothing changed about the partner.
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The partner did not become less reliable.
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The mind doing the trusting got full and trust went down.
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So here is my read, and I want to be unmistakable about what is research and what is me.
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The research does not show that overloaded leaders check their people more.
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I have not found a study that does.
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But what the research gives us pieces of the picture.
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Stress can weaken the prefrontal cortex.
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A loaded mind trusted less in one small lab experiment.
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And I will give you a third piece in a moment.
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Put those pieces together carefully, and this is the question I keep coming back to.
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When the mentor room gets smaller, does checking start to feel easier than trusting?
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I think it does.
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My read is that checking can become a way of closing an open question and when a leader is carrying too much.
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Open the file, ask for the screenshot, check.
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In my experience, checking closes the question for about an hour.
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That's why it can feel so good, and that's why it comes back.
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Here is a third piece though.
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And it comes from management research in 1999.
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Gary Yuki and Pink Pink Fu publish a study on when managers delegate.
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They found that managers hand off more to people they see as competent and to people they have a strong working relationship with.
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And they reported that many managers were reluctant to give up control over important decisions.
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Important decisions?
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Now think about what pressure does to that one word.
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In a concorder, a handful of things are important.
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Under pressure, everything starts to feel important.
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So the reluctance can spread to everything.
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That last step is mine, not theirs.
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But I think it's the step that explains the kitchen table.
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So let me put all this in one line.
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The team may not have changed at all.
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The leaders' load did.
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And from the inside, these two things can feel exactly the same.
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I think that is one phase of cognitive overload in leaders.
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It rarely looks like someone falling apart.
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Much more often, it looks like someone working harder, staying later, and checking more.
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So let me draw the two leaders side by side the way I picture them.
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The grounded leader hands off the project and carries the open question.
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Does she wonder how it's going?
00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:26.480
Of course she does.
00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:29.440
But the wondering does not run her evening.
00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:31.920
She waits for Friday at 10.
00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:38.559
The leader under strain hands off the same project to the same team, same people, same skill.
00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:42.160
But the open question is too heavy to carry tonight.
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:47.279
So the answers it come earlier.
00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:49.599
Or she answers it even early.
00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:53.039
And then she answers it again tomorrow.
00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:56.640
Same team, same work, different load.
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:58.400
And here is the hopeful part.
00:18:58.720 --> 00:18:59.680
Load can change.
00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:04.400
And if the load can change, the check-in can change with it too.
00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:07.279
Now I can hear some of you, I can hear it clearly.
00:19:07.519 --> 00:19:09.200
So hard checking is my job.
00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:10.160
I'm accountable.
00:19:10.319 --> 00:19:12.720
If something goes out wrong, it's my name on it.
00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:15.759
Are you telling me to close my eyes and hope for the best?
00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:17.440
No, no, no.
00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:18.880
That's not what I said.
00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:22.640
And I want to answer that with the mechanism, not with comfort.
00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:24.799
Checking is part of leading.
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:27.519
A leader who never looks is not trusting.
00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:29.119
She is absent.
00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:31.920
So the question was never whether to check.
00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:35.039
The question is what is driving the check.
00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:36.720
Here are two kinds.
00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:40.640
The first kind is planned, it was agreed in advance.
00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:44.240
Friday at 10, we review the numbers together.
00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:46.480
Everyone knows it's coming.
00:19:46.640 --> 00:19:49.119
It's tied to a real risk in the work.
00:19:49.359 --> 00:19:54.319
That kind of check is part of the job, and a good team expects it.
00:19:54.559 --> 00:19:57.839
The second kind is the one at 9.40 at night.
00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:59.519
Nothing new has happened.
00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:01.599
No new information came in.
00:20:01.839 --> 00:20:04.880
The report is the same report it was at 4 o'clock.
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:09.279
The only thing that changed is how much the leader is carrying.
00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:14.160
Remember, the students in Warsaw, their partners did not change.
00:20:14.319 --> 00:20:15.680
The load did.
00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:18.480
So here is the test, and it's a hard one.
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:22.240
When the urge to check arrives, ask.
00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:23.519
What changed?
00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:26.400
If the work changed, check.
00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:32.319
If there is new information, a missed milestone, a real signal that something is off, then look.
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:33.920
That's the job.
00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:46.720
But if the only thing that changes is the weight of the leader, then in my experience, the check will not fix it because the problem may not be in the file.
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:49.440
So what does a leader do instead?
00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:52.319
I'm going to give you one practice.
00:20:53.759 --> 00:20:58.960
One, because a loaded mind does not need a list of seven things, here it is.
00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:02.799
Decide the check before the pressure does.
00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:07.039
It has three parts, and you can start tomorrow morning.
00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:07.920
Part one.
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:28.480
Say it out loud, write it down, both of you.
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:32.000
If you want words for it, try these.
00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:35.359
Here is when I will look at this.
00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:38.319
Here is what I will be looking for.
00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:43.039
And if you hit a wall before then, come and find me.
00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:45.119
Three sentences.
00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:53.759
Now you both know when the next look is coming, and you have given yourself permission not to look before then.
00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:56.160
Now the checking belongs to the plan.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.599
It no longer belongs to how you feel when.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.039
Tuesday night.
00:22:01.599 --> 00:22:02.400
Part two.
00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:09.200
When the urge comes between checkpoints and it will come, do not open the file yet.
00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:12.319
Ask one question first.
00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:14.079
What changed?
00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:16.640
The work or my load?
00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:18.319
Part three.
00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:23.039
If the true answer is my load, then go and deal with the load.
00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:29.440
Close the laptop, take a piece of paper, and write down the thing that is really pressing on you.
00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:35.359
The board meeting, the number, the email you haven't answered, the conversation you have been putting off.
00:22:35.599 --> 00:22:36.400
Name it.
00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:42.480
Because that may be where the pressure is really coming from.
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:45.839
It may never have been in your team's report.
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:48.160
Name it to tame it.
00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:54.000
Let me walk our leader at the kitchen table through it.
00:22:54.160 --> 00:23:00.480
It's 9.40, her hand is on the track pad, and this time she stops and asks the question.
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:03.200
The report did not change.
00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:04.720
Nobody flagged the problem.
00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:10.400
What changed is that her biggest client called at 5 o'clock and sounded unhappy.
00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:13.839
That is the open question she cannot stand to carry tonight.
00:23:13.920 --> 00:23:16.720
And the report was the nearest thing she could close.
00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:22.799
So she writes one line on the paper, called the client at 9, and she shuts the laptop.
00:23:23.039 --> 00:23:24.400
The report was fine.
00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:26.640
It was fine at 4 o'clock, too.
00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:31.359
And maybe you're listening to this and thinking, so hard, I'm already at week six.
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.359
I have already taken it all back.
00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:34.960
Then start with one.
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:42.559
Pick one project, one person, set the checkpoints and keep your hands off the file in between.
00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:46.160
One open question carried on purpose.
00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:54.000
That is how a leader gets used to carrying again one glass on the tray at a time.
00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:55.200
Remember the waiter?
00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:58.720
Now, where does AI fit in the answer?
00:23:58.880 --> 00:24:00.960
The same place it fit in the problem.
00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:02.960
Remember the Corn Ferry number?
00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:07.359
52% said that using AI increases the workload.
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:10.720
So use the tools for what they are good at.
00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:20.720
But a tool can only answer one question.
00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:22.720
Is the work on track?
00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:29.680
It cannot carry the open question for you while the answer is still on its way.
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:33.599
Staying steady in that gap is still human work.
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:35.519
It's still the leader's work.
00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:39.599
And that is the ground of my propriety brain framework.
00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:45.279
Five evidence-based principles that create the conditions for lasting leadership change.
00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:54.640
Anyhow, now is not the time to unpack it, but I will only say this: steadiness comes before strategy.
00:24:54.880 --> 00:24:57.920
And notice what this practice does not ask of you.
00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:00.319
It does not ask you to trust blindly.
00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:02.640
It does not ask you to lower the bar.
00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:06.880
It asks you to find what is moving your hand toward the file.
00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:10.640
Because once a leader can see that, there is a choice again.
00:25:10.799 --> 00:25:14.799
And a choice is all a leader under pressure ever needs.
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:19.839
So that is the leader's side of the desk, and it leaves one question open.
00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:27.039
A leader can check for months and believe it looks like diligence, but the team has been on the room the whole time.
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:29.920
They have been watching and they have formed the picture.
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:36.079
The next question is what happens on the day a leader finds out how the team really sees them.
00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:38.880
That's where we go next episode.
00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:44.559
Before you go, if today sounded familiar, come and work on it live.
00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:51.359
The next session of My Pressure Room is Thursday, October 29th at 11 a.m.
00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:52.079
Pacific.
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:54.559
It's free 45 minutes on Zoom.
00:25:54.799 --> 00:26:01.839
The question for that session is this Why does a small problem suddenly feel like an emergency under pressure?
00:26:02.079 --> 00:26:06.880
And if you have been listening closely, you already know that it's not far from that kitchen table.
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:12.400
You can register at saharandradi.com slash pressure dash room.
00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:17.359
Once more, saharendradi.com slash pressure dash room.
00:26:17.519 --> 00:26:18.880
I'm Sahara Andradi.
00:26:19.039 --> 00:26:20.799
Thank you for spending time with me.
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:22.559
Leadership does not fail.
00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:24.480
Nervous system do.
00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:34.400
Before I leave, I always say show me some love, rate, comment, share, subscribe to our podcast so more people can hear it.
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:41.039
Thank you for supporting us, making us one of the top 2% global podcasts that exist today.
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:42.640
I really appreciate you.
00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:49.119
Till we meet on Friday for the short podcast, the Forbes article like format.
00:26:49.759 --> 00:26:51.519
Peace out.
00:00:13.279 --> 00:00:16.239
It's 9 40 at night.
00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:18.960
Picture a leader at her kitchen table.
00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:20.879
The laptop is open.
00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:22.559
The house is quiet.
00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:25.039
The report on her screen is finished.
00:00:25.280 --> 00:00:28.399
Her team finished it at 4 o'clock this afternoon.
00:00:28.879 --> 00:00:33.200
It was reviewed, it was signed off, it is ready to go.
00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:37.920
And she's opening it again, line by line.
00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:40.560
This is the part I want you to notice.
00:00:40.719 --> 00:00:44.479
It's not her own work she's checking, it's theirs.
00:00:44.880 --> 00:00:49.520
If you asked her why, she would have a good answer.
00:00:49.759 --> 00:00:52.159
She would say she's being thorough.
00:00:52.399 --> 00:00:55.840
She would say this is what high standards look like.
00:00:56.159 --> 00:01:00.000
Here is the line I want you to carry through this whole episode.
00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:04.640
The moment pressure rises, some leaders start checking everything.
00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:07.680
It looks like standards, it's something else.
00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:13.439
Today I'm going to tell you what I think that something else is.
00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:16.319
Welcome to the AI Cafe Conversations.
00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:22.719
I'm Sahar Andradi, and this is where the neuroscience of pressure meets the future of leadership.
00:01:22.959 --> 00:01:26.480
Before we start, one thing I say every time.
00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:30.879
Everything I share comes from my experience and my opinion as a coach.
00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:35.439
It's not a diagnosis and it's not a fact about you.
00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:37.280
You decide what fits.
00:01:37.599 --> 00:01:40.239
Let me be clear about the woman at the kitchen table.
00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:42.000
She is not a real client.
00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:45.920
I built her so we would have someone to follow today.
00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:47.760
But the moment is real.
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:55.200
People describe it in public, in their own words, and in a minute, I'm going to read you some of those words.
00:01:55.439 --> 00:02:03.359
So here is today's question: Why do leaders start checking everyone's work when the pressure goes up?
00:02:03.599 --> 00:02:05.680
And notice what I did not say.
00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:08.719
I did not say micromanagers.
00:02:08.960 --> 00:02:14.639
I am not talking about the leader who has always hovered over every desk.
00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:24.719
I'm talking about the leader who used to trust, the one who built a strong team on purpose, the one who hands work off well in a calm quarter.
00:02:24.879 --> 00:02:29.919
And then the quarter stops being calm and something shifts.
00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:35.439
Let me show you what the shifts looks like.
00:02:36.800 --> 00:02:43.120
From the outside first, because the people around the leader usually see it before the leader does.
00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:49.199
I keep a collection of things people have written in public about leaders under pressure.
00:02:49.439 --> 00:02:52.319
Real accounts, their words, not mine.
00:02:52.800 --> 00:02:56.159
One of them comes from a long tenure employee.
00:02:56.479 --> 00:03:06.240
This person described a boss who had become blunt and impatient, and who had started demanding screenshots as proof that the work was done.
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:11.360
Even when a simple system delay explained the gap.
00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:13.759
Screenshots as proof.
00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:15.919
Another person wrote this.
00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:23.680
Quote My new manager has started to micromanage me and takes over my work very often.
00:03:24.400 --> 00:03:25.120
End quote.
00:03:26.319 --> 00:03:31.120
Takes over my work very often.
00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:33.360
Hold on to these two pictures.
00:03:34.159 --> 00:03:38.400
Screenshots as proof taking the work back.
00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:41.840
Now, I do not know those two managers.
00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:45.039
I cannot tell you what was going on for either of them.
00:03:45.120 --> 00:03:46.879
And I'm not going to guess here.
00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:51.039
That would not be fair to them, and it would not be honest of me.
00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:53.439
What I can do is flip the camera.
00:03:53.599 --> 00:04:01.680
I can walk around the desk and stand on the leader's side, and I can tell you what this tends to look like from there.
00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:04.159
So let's go back to the kitchen table.
00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:07.840
From her side, it doesn't feel like distrust.
00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:10.560
That is the first thing to understand.
00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:12.479
It feels like responsibility.
00:04:12.639 --> 00:04:13.759
It feels like care.
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:16.959
The stakes went up, so her attention went up.
00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:18.800
What could be wrong with that?
00:04:19.120 --> 00:04:21.199
And it starts small.
00:04:21.680 --> 00:04:24.160
It always starts small.
00:04:24.399 --> 00:04:29.519
She asks to be copied on one more email thread, just to stay close to it.
00:04:29.759 --> 00:04:34.079
She asks for the draft a day early, just to take a quick look.
00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:38.800
She joins a meeting, she used to skip just this once.
00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:45.360
She rewrites the opening paragraph herself because it's faster than explaining what she wants.
00:04:45.680 --> 00:04:49.519
Listen to those sentences again.
00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:51.759
Just copy me.
00:04:52.000 --> 00:04:54.079
Send it to me before it goes out.
00:04:54.240 --> 00:04:55.759
I only want a quick look.
00:04:55.920 --> 00:04:58.079
It's faster if I do it.
00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:01.920
Each one of those is reasonable, every single one.
00:05:02.160 --> 00:05:05.439
That is why nobody catches it, including her.
00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:11.519
Let me slow that down because the timeline matters.
00:05:11.839 --> 00:05:15.199
Week one, she reads one extra draft.
00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:16.800
It takes 15 minutes.
00:05:16.959 --> 00:05:19.600
She finds a small error and she fixes it.
00:05:19.839 --> 00:05:22.240
And that small error does something.
00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:25.279
It tells her she was right to look.
00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:26.639
Week three.
00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:28.639
She is reading every draft.
00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:30.879
She has stopped waiting to be asked.
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:34.240
She is in the shared folder at night.
00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:35.600
Week six.
00:05:35.920 --> 00:05:39.759
Nothing leaves the department without passing through her inbox.
00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:41.920
Nobody made that a rule.
00:05:42.079 --> 00:05:44.160
It simply became true.
00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:48.160
Stack those weeks up and then look at her calendar.
00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:52.000
The work she handed off has come back.
00:05:52.319 --> 00:05:53.279
Quietly.
00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:55.040
One check at a time.
00:05:55.360 --> 00:05:57.600
She did not take the projects back.
00:05:57.839 --> 00:05:59.920
She took the checking back.
00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:03.759
And checking, it turns out, is most of the work.
00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:10.079
That is what I mean when I say delegation can start shrinking one small check at a time.
00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:11.839
Nobody announces it.
00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:17.040
There is no meeting where she stands up and says, I no longer trust this team.
00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:20.480
On paper, everything is still delegated.
00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:23.199
The names are still next to the tasks.
00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:27.759
But every decision now runs through one desk.
00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:28.639
Hers.
00:06:29.279 --> 00:06:32.319
Now I want to add the part of the load that is new.
00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:36.879
Leaders today are not only carrying more, they are carrying faster.
00:06:37.120 --> 00:06:39.839
And AI is a real part of that weight.
00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:41.839
I want to be exact here.
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:45.040
So let me give you one number and tell you where it comes from.
00:06:45.199 --> 00:06:52.240
In September of 2026, Corn Ferry released its workforce 2026 report.
00:06:52.560 --> 00:06:58.720
They surveyed 16,000 professionals across 11 global markets.
00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:04.319
And 52% said that using AI has increased their workloads.
00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:06.560
Not decreased, increased.
00:07:06.879 --> 00:07:08.240
Sit with that for a second.
00:07:08.399 --> 00:07:16.160
The tool that was supposed to lift the load is for about half of the people they asked, adding to it.
00:07:16.480 --> 00:07:23.279
More output to read, more options to weigh, more speed expected from everyone at every level.
00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:27.040
Now let me be careful because this matters.
00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:31.120
I'm not telling you that AI is the reading leaders check their people.
00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:35.360
I do not have evidence for that, and I'm not going to pretend that I do.
00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:37.519
What I'm telling you is simpler.
00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:41.839
AI is one more weight on a mind that is already full.
00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:46.560
And a full mind is where today's story begins.
00:07:48.000 --> 00:07:52.879
I want to stay on the leader's side of the desk for the cost.
00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:58.480
What this does to the people being checked is its own conversation.
00:07:58.800 --> 00:08:00.959
It deserves its own space.
00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:03.439
And I'm not going to squeeze it in here.
00:08:03.759 --> 00:08:09.040
Today I only want to count what it cost her, the leader.
00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:11.920
First time, every check is small.
00:08:12.079 --> 00:08:17.439
10 minutes here, 20 minutes there, but add them up, she's now doing two jobs.
00:08:17.680 --> 00:08:22.000
Her own and a second pass on everyone else's.
00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:24.319
Second, the load itself.
00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:28.000
Here is the loop as I see it, and this is the cruel part.
00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:31.920
The load gets up, so the checking goes up.
00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:35.919
The checking takes hours, so the load goes up again.
00:08:36.159 --> 00:08:39.279
She's feeling the very thing that started it.
00:08:39.519 --> 00:08:45.679
Third, and in my opinion, this is the most expensive one, her own thinking.
00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:52.879
The hours she spends rereading finished work are the hours she used to spend on the questions only she can answer.
00:08:53.120 --> 00:08:54.399
Where are we going?
00:08:54.799 --> 00:08:56.639
What are we not seeing?
00:08:56.960 --> 00:08:59.440
Who do we need that we do not have?
00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:02.320
Nobody else on that team can do that work.
00:09:02.480 --> 00:09:03.360
It's hers.
00:09:03.600 --> 00:09:06.080
And it's the first thing to go.
00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:11.360
And there is a fourth cause that nobody, nobody counts.
00:09:11.679 --> 00:09:12.639
The evenings.
00:09:12.799 --> 00:09:14.799
The kitchen table at 9:40 p.m.
00:09:15.120 --> 00:09:18.320
was supposed to be the part of the day where the load comes off.
00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:21.600
It has become a second shift.
00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:26.240
So picture her three months in, she's exhausted.
00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:27.600
She's behind.
00:09:28.720 --> 00:09:33.759
And she is more convinced than ever that she has to check.
00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:37.360
Because now there really is less time.
00:09:37.679 --> 00:09:40.240
Now there really is more at risk.
00:09:40.399 --> 00:09:45.120
And from where she sits, the checking did not cause the problem.
00:09:45.440 --> 00:09:48.080
The checking is the only thing holding it together.
00:09:48.320 --> 00:09:49.679
That's how it feels.
00:09:49.840 --> 00:09:54.080
And that feeling is exactly what we need to look underneath.
00:09:54.320 --> 00:09:56.720
Here is what most people get wrong about this.
00:09:56.879 --> 00:10:03.519
When a leader starts checking everything, the people watching reach for a character explanation.
00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:05.600
She's a control freak.
00:10:05.840 --> 00:10:07.440
She has trust issues.
00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:09.279
She was always like this.
00:10:09.440 --> 00:10:11.440
And the pressure just showed it.
00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:14.480
And the leader reaches for the opposite explanation.
00:10:14.720 --> 00:10:16.000
I'm being diligent.
00:10:16.240 --> 00:10:17.759
I'm protecting the client.
00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:20.000
This is what accountability looks like.
00:10:20.240 --> 00:10:21.279
Two stories.
00:10:21.759 --> 00:10:26.639
One says bad character, one says good standards.
00:10:26.799 --> 00:10:29.840
I think of both of them are missing the mechanism.
00:10:30.320 --> 00:10:33.279
Because both stories assume the same thing.
00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:36.240
They assume the leader chose this.
00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:42.159
That she sat down one morning, looked at her team, and decided to trust them less.
00:10:42.320 --> 00:10:46.000
In my experience, that's almost never how it goes.
00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:48.639
Nobody decides, it creeps.
00:10:49.039 --> 00:10:52.960
So if it's not a decision, what is it?
00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:57.120
Let's talk about what trust costs.
00:10:57.840 --> 00:11:06.799
We usually talk about trust like it's a feeling, warm, soft, something a person either has or does not have.
00:11:07.279 --> 00:11:10.080
I want you to think about it differently today.
00:11:10.320 --> 00:11:15.679
I want you to think about trust as work, work that the brain does.
00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:17.679
Here is what I mean.
00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:24.879
When a leader hands off something that matters, she has to hold an open question in her mind.
00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:26.320
Is it on track?
00:11:26.559 --> 00:11:27.840
Will it be right?
00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:29.600
Will it be on time?
00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:37.679
And she has to hold that question without answering it for days, sometimes for weeks.
00:11:38.240 --> 00:11:41.440
That is what trusting someone really is.
00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:49.919
It's carrying an unanswered question on purpose and staying steady while you carry it.
00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:54.320
Think of a waiter crossing a crowded room with a full tray.
00:11:54.639 --> 00:11:58.879
Every delegated project is one more glass on that tray.
00:11:59.120 --> 00:12:03.840
A skilled waiter can carry a lot, but there is a limit.
00:12:04.159 --> 00:12:11.360
And if someone bumps into him, the first thing he wants to do is put the tray down.
00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:21.600
Carrying takes capacity, and in the brain, a lot of that capacity lives right behind the forehead in the prefrontal cortex or PFC.
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:29.519
That is the part that holds things in mind, weighs what is likely and keeps attention and emotion steady.
00:12:30.080 --> 00:12:33.120
You can feel a small version of this yourself.
00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:35.440
Try to hold the phone number in your hand.
00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:39.360
Now have someone ask you a question while you're holding it.
00:12:39.600 --> 00:12:40.639
Feel that?
00:12:40.960 --> 00:12:43.120
The number starts to slip.
00:12:43.440 --> 00:12:45.200
Holding takes effort.
00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:50.320
And the more a person is holding, the less room there is for anything new.
00:12:50.639 --> 00:12:54.799
So what happens to that part of the train, the brain under pressure?
00:12:55.120 --> 00:12:57.519
That is where the research comes in.
00:12:57.840 --> 00:13:07.440
In 2009, the neuroscientist Amy Arnstein published a review in the journal Nature Reviews Neuroscience.
00:13:07.919 --> 00:13:13.440
I'm going to read you one sentence from it, exactly as she wrote it.
00:13:13.679 --> 00:13:31.919
Quote, even quite mild, acute, uncontrollable stress can cause a rapid and dramatic loss of prefrontal cognitive abilities.
00:13:35.120 --> 00:13:46.000
Even quite mild, acute, and controllable stress can cause a rapid and dramatic loss of prefrontal cognitive abilities.
00:13:46.320 --> 00:13:48.799
Mild stress, rapid loss.
00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:51.600
Her review describes what happens next.
00:13:51.919 --> 00:13:57.440
Control of behavior and emotion shifts towards faster and more automatic circuits.
00:13:57.759 --> 00:13:58.799
The careful.
00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:03.679
Patient part of the brain gives ground to the quick protective part.
00:14:03.840 --> 00:14:08.080
In plain words, somebody bumped the waiter.
00:14:08.720 --> 00:14:12.320
Now I want to put a second piece of research next to that one.
00:14:12.399 --> 00:14:16.080
And I want to be honest with you about its size because it's small.
00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:37.440
In 2015, two researchers, I hope I'm not gonna butcher their names here, Katarzina Sampson and Patrick Sus Kostisine published an experiment in the journal PLOS 1.
00:14:38.159 --> 00:14:41.679
90 students at the University of Warsaw.
00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:44.159
They played something called a trust game.
00:14:44.320 --> 00:14:50.240
In a trust game, you decide how much money to hand the partner, hoping the partner sent some of it back.
00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:55.360
Some of the students played with a clear head, the others played with a loaded mind.
00:14:55.600 --> 00:15:03.120
One group had to memorize a string of characters while they played, another group had to listen to a disturbing noise.
00:15:03.360 --> 00:15:05.519
Same game, same kind of partner.
00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:11.120
The only thing that changed was how their how full their minds were.
00:15:11.840 --> 00:15:15.200
And the students with loaded minds trusted less.
00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:17.519
They handed over less money.
00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:20.559
It did not matter which kind of load it was.
00:15:21.120 --> 00:15:25.919
Now, 90 students in Warsaw are not a room full of executives.
00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:26.960
I know that.
00:15:27.279 --> 00:15:32.240
One experiment is not a law of nature, and I'm not going to sell it to you as one.
00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:34.559
But I look at what it points to.
00:15:34.720 --> 00:15:36.320
Nothing changed about the partner.
00:15:36.639 --> 00:15:39.200
The partner did not become less reliable.
00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:44.399
The mind doing the trusting got full and trust went down.
00:15:44.879 --> 00:15:51.039
So here is my read, and I want to be unmistakable about what is research and what is me.
00:15:51.519 --> 00:15:56.080
The research does not show that overloaded leaders check their people more.
00:15:56.399 --> 00:15:58.480
I have not found a study that does.
00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:02.559
But what the research gives us pieces of the picture.
00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:06.080
Stress can weaken the prefrontal cortex.
00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:10.639
A loaded mind trusted less in one small lab experiment.
00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:13.440
And I will give you a third piece in a moment.
00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:19.200
Put those pieces together carefully, and this is the question I keep coming back to.
00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:26.000
When the mentor room gets smaller, does checking start to feel easier than trusting?
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:27.600
I think it does.
00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:36.320
My read is that checking can become a way of closing an open question and when a leader is carrying too much.
00:16:36.559 --> 00:16:41.200
Open the file, ask for the screenshot, check.
00:16:41.840 --> 00:16:46.399
In my experience, checking closes the question for about an hour.
00:16:46.639 --> 00:16:50.879
That's why it can feel so good, and that's why it comes back.
00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:53.120
Here is a third piece though.
00:16:53.440 --> 00:16:57.120
And it comes from management research in 1999.
00:16:57.360 --> 00:17:03.919
Gary Yuki and Pink Pink Fu publish a study on when managers delegate.
00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:12.880
They found that managers hand off more to people they see as competent and to people they have a strong working relationship with.
00:17:13.119 --> 00:17:19.359
And they reported that many managers were reluctant to give up control over important decisions.
00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:20.880
Important decisions?
00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:25.920
Now think about what pressure does to that one word.
00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:31.440
In a concorder, a handful of things are important.
00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:35.839
Under pressure, everything starts to feel important.
00:17:36.079 --> 00:17:39.440
So the reluctance can spread to everything.
00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:42.240
That last step is mine, not theirs.
00:17:42.400 --> 00:17:45.759
But I think it's the step that explains the kitchen table.
00:17:46.000 --> 00:17:48.799
So let me put all this in one line.
00:17:49.119 --> 00:17:51.440
The team may not have changed at all.
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:53.440
The leaders' load did.
00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:59.039
And from the inside, these two things can feel exactly the same.
00:17:59.279 --> 00:18:03.839
I think that is one phase of cognitive overload in leaders.
00:18:04.079 --> 00:18:07.200
It rarely looks like someone falling apart.
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:14.160
Much more often, it looks like someone working harder, staying later, and checking more.
00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:18.880
So let me draw the two leaders side by side the way I picture them.
00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:23.039
The grounded leader hands off the project and carries the open question.
00:18:23.279 --> 00:18:25.119
Does she wonder how it's going?
00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:26.480
Of course she does.
00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:29.440
But the wondering does not run her evening.
00:18:29.599 --> 00:18:31.920
She waits for Friday at 10.
00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:38.559
The leader under strain hands off the same project to the same team, same people, same skill.
00:18:38.799 --> 00:18:42.160
But the open question is too heavy to carry tonight.
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:47.279
So the answers it come earlier.
00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:49.599
Or she answers it even early.
00:18:50.000 --> 00:18:53.039
And then she answers it again tomorrow.
00:18:53.279 --> 00:18:56.640
Same team, same work, different load.
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:58.400
And here is the hopeful part.
00:18:58.720 --> 00:18:59.680
Load can change.
00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:04.400
And if the load can change, the check-in can change with it too.
00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:07.279
Now I can hear some of you, I can hear it clearly.
00:19:07.519 --> 00:19:09.200
So hard checking is my job.
00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:10.160
I'm accountable.
00:19:10.319 --> 00:19:12.720
If something goes out wrong, it's my name on it.
00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:15.759
Are you telling me to close my eyes and hope for the best?
00:19:16.000 --> 00:19:17.440
No, no, no.
00:19:17.519 --> 00:19:18.880
That's not what I said.
00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:22.640
And I want to answer that with the mechanism, not with comfort.
00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:24.799
Checking is part of leading.
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:27.519
A leader who never looks is not trusting.
00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:29.119
She is absent.
00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:31.920
So the question was never whether to check.
00:19:32.160 --> 00:19:35.039
The question is what is driving the check.
00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:36.720
Here are two kinds.
00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:40.640
The first kind is planned, it was agreed in advance.
00:19:40.880 --> 00:19:44.240
Friday at 10, we review the numbers together.
00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:46.480
Everyone knows it's coming.
00:19:46.640 --> 00:19:49.119
It's tied to a real risk in the work.
00:19:49.359 --> 00:19:54.319
That kind of check is part of the job, and a good team expects it.
00:19:54.559 --> 00:19:57.839
The second kind is the one at 9.40 at night.
00:19:58.000 --> 00:19:59.519
Nothing new has happened.
00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:01.599
No new information came in.
00:20:01.839 --> 00:20:04.880
The report is the same report it was at 4 o'clock.
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:09.279
The only thing that changed is how much the leader is carrying.
00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:14.160
Remember, the students in Warsaw, their partners did not change.
00:20:14.319 --> 00:20:15.680
The load did.
00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:18.480
So here is the test, and it's a hard one.
00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:22.240
When the urge to check arrives, ask.
00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:23.519
What changed?
00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:26.400
If the work changed, check.
00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:32.319
If there is new information, a missed milestone, a real signal that something is off, then look.
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:33.920
That's the job.
00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:46.720
But if the only thing that changes is the weight of the leader, then in my experience, the check will not fix it because the problem may not be in the file.
00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:49.440
So what does a leader do instead?
00:20:49.680 --> 00:20:52.319
I'm going to give you one practice.
00:20:53.759 --> 00:20:58.960
One, because a loaded mind does not need a list of seven things, here it is.
00:20:59.279 --> 00:21:02.799
Decide the check before the pressure does.
00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:07.039
It has three parts, and you can start tomorrow morning.
00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:07.920
Part one.
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:28.480
Say it out loud, write it down, both of you.
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:32.000
If you want words for it, try these.
00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:35.359
Here is when I will look at this.
00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:38.319
Here is what I will be looking for.
00:21:38.480 --> 00:21:43.039
And if you hit a wall before then, come and find me.
00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:45.119
Three sentences.
00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:53.759
Now you both know when the next look is coming, and you have given yourself permission not to look before then.
00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:56.160
Now the checking belongs to the plan.
00:21:56.319 --> 00:21:59.599
It no longer belongs to how you feel when.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.039
Tuesday night.
00:22:01.599 --> 00:22:02.400
Part two.
00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:09.200
When the urge comes between checkpoints and it will come, do not open the file yet.
00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:12.319
Ask one question first.
00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:14.079
What changed?
00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:16.640
The work or my load?
00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:18.319
Part three.
00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:23.039
If the true answer is my load, then go and deal with the load.
00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:29.440
Close the laptop, take a piece of paper, and write down the thing that is really pressing on you.
00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:35.359
The board meeting, the number, the email you haven't answered, the conversation you have been putting off.
00:22:35.599 --> 00:22:36.400
Name it.
00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:42.480
Because that may be where the pressure is really coming from.
00:22:42.880 --> 00:22:45.839
It may never have been in your team's report.
00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:48.160
Name it to tame it.
00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:54.000
Let me walk our leader at the kitchen table through it.
00:22:54.160 --> 00:23:00.480
It's 9.40, her hand is on the track pad, and this time she stops and asks the question.
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:03.200
The report did not change.
00:23:03.279 --> 00:23:04.720
Nobody flagged the problem.
00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:10.400
What changed is that her biggest client called at 5 o'clock and sounded unhappy.
00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:13.839
That is the open question she cannot stand to carry tonight.
00:23:13.920 --> 00:23:16.720
And the report was the nearest thing she could close.
00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:22.799
So she writes one line on the paper, called the client at 9, and she shuts the laptop.
00:23:23.039 --> 00:23:24.400
The report was fine.
00:23:24.640 --> 00:23:26.640
It was fine at 4 o'clock, too.
00:23:26.799 --> 00:23:31.359
And maybe you're listening to this and thinking, so hard, I'm already at week six.
00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:33.359
I have already taken it all back.
00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:34.960
Then start with one.
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:42.559
Pick one project, one person, set the checkpoints and keep your hands off the file in between.
00:23:42.799 --> 00:23:46.160
One open question carried on purpose.
00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:54.000
That is how a leader gets used to carrying again one glass on the tray at a time.
00:23:54.160 --> 00:23:55.200
Remember the waiter?
00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:58.720
Now, where does AI fit in the answer?
00:23:58.880 --> 00:24:00.960
The same place it fit in the problem.
00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:02.960
Remember the Corn Ferry number?
00:24:03.200 --> 00:24:07.359
52% said that using AI increases the workload.
00:24:07.680 --> 00:24:10.720
So use the tools for what they are good at.
00:24:18.400 --> 00:24:20.720
But a tool can only answer one question.
00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:22.720
Is the work on track?
00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:29.680
It cannot carry the open question for you while the answer is still on its way.
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:33.599
Staying steady in that gap is still human work.
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:35.519
It's still the leader's work.
00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:39.599
And that is the ground of my propriety brain framework.
00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:45.279
Five evidence-based principles that create the conditions for lasting leadership change.
00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:54.640
Anyhow, now is not the time to unpack it, but I will only say this: steadiness comes before strategy.
00:24:54.880 --> 00:24:57.920
And notice what this practice does not ask of you.
00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:00.319
It does not ask you to trust blindly.
00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:02.640
It does not ask you to lower the bar.
00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:06.880
It asks you to find what is moving your hand toward the file.
00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:10.640
Because once a leader can see that, there is a choice again.
00:25:10.799 --> 00:25:14.799
And a choice is all a leader under pressure ever needs.
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:19.839
So that is the leader's side of the desk, and it leaves one question open.
00:25:20.079 --> 00:25:27.039
A leader can check for months and believe it looks like diligence, but the team has been on the room the whole time.
00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:29.920
They have been watching and they have formed the picture.
00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:36.079
The next question is what happens on the day a leader finds out how the team really sees them.
00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:38.880
That's where we go next episode.
00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:44.559
Before you go, if today sounded familiar, come and work on it live.
00:25:44.960 --> 00:25:51.359
The next session of My Pressure Room is Thursday, October 29th at 11 a.m.
00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:52.079
Pacific.
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:54.559
It's free 45 minutes on Zoom.
00:25:54.799 --> 00:26:01.839
The question for that session is this Why does a small problem suddenly feel like an emergency under pressure?
00:26:02.079 --> 00:26:06.880
And if you have been listening closely, you already know that it's not far from that kitchen table.
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:12.400
You can register at saharandradi.com slash pressure dash room.
00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:17.359
Once more, saharendradi.com slash pressure dash room.
00:26:17.519 --> 00:26:18.880
I'm Sahara Andradi.
00:26:19.039 --> 00:26:20.799
Thank you for spending time with me.
00:26:20.960 --> 00:26:22.559
Leadership does not fail.
00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:24.480
Nervous system do.
00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:34.400
Before I leave, I always say show me some love, rate, comment, share, subscribe to our podcast so more people can hear it.
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:41.039
Thank you for supporting us, making us one of the top 2% global podcasts that exist today.
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:42.640
I really appreciate you.
00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:49.119
Till we meet on Friday for the short podcast, the Forbes article like format.
00:26:49.759 --> 00:26:51.519
Peace out.
