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Most managers already know what good management looks like. Give real feedback. Delegate. Have the hard conversation. Knowing it has never been the problem.
Nir Eyal spent years asking why people who have the right answer still don't act on it. His conclusion is that the gap is not motivation or discipline. It's belief. And beliefs are harder to spot than habits, because from the inside they feel like facts.
In this conversation, Nir walks through what a belief actually is, why confirmation bias quietly hardens a manager's read on an employee until it stops being reviewable, and what to do when you find yourself already dreading a conversation that hasn't happened yet. He also makes a blunt case against two labels a lot of leaders wear comfortably: imposter syndrome and perfectionist.
The practical takeaways here are small and usable. Look for where you're suffering instead of hunting for the belief directly. Keep a reality log when your read on your own performance has gone lopsided. And pay attention to whatever words follow "I am."
About our guest
Nir Eyal is the author of Hooked, Indistractable, and Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Breakthrough Results, an instant New York Times bestseller written with Julie Li. He is a former lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, and his work has appeared in The New York Times, Harvard Business Review, and Time. He writes about behavior, focus, and belief at NirAndFar.com.
Nir is offering listeners a free 5-Minute Belief Change Guide at nirandfar.com/beyond-belief-live.
TIMESTAMPS
- 00:00 Why managers know what to do and still don't do it
- 02:00 Why readers kept telling Nir his last book didn't work for them
- 06:00 Why the best advice becomes wasted breath without belief
- 07:15 The difference between a fact, a faith, and a belief
- 08:50 Why your conscious mind only gets 50 bits of what's in front of you
- 11:00 How a manager's opinion of an employee hardens into fact
- 13:30 Why you can see everyone's limiting beliefs except your own
- 15:15 Don't look for the belief. Look for where you're suffering.
- 17:45 The flowers Nir sent his mom and what he learned from the phone call
- 20:15 How a reality log corrects a belief about your own performance
- 23:00 What happens to Thursday's hard conversation when you decide Tuesday it will go badly
- 25:50 Why your labels are your limits
- 28:00 Why Nir says imposter syndrome isn't real
- 30:00 Same sweaty palms, different belief
- 32:20 Where to start if you want to test one belief this week
A QUICK GLIMPSE INTO OUR PODCAST Podcast: Transform Your Workplace, sponsored by Xenium HR Host: Brandon Laws In Brandon's own words: "The Transform Your Workplace podcast is your go-to source for the latest workplace trends, big ideas, and time-tested methods straight from the mouths of industry experts and respected thought-leaders."
About Xenium HR Xenium HR is on a mission to transform workplaces by providing expert outsourced HR and payroll services for small and medium-sized businesses. With a people-first approach, Xenium helps organizations create thriving work environments where employees feel valued and supported. From navigating compliance to enhancing workplace culture, Xenium offers tailored solutions that empower growth and simplify HR. Whether managing employee relations, payroll processing, or implementing impactful training programs, Xenium is the trusted partner businesses rely on to elevate their workplace experience. Discover how Xenium can transform your workplace: Learn more
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