Reconsidering Regulation Part 1: Words as Spells, with Jana Kingsford

Welcome to this new series, called Reconsidering Regulation.

In part 1, I'm so delighted to welcome Jana Kingsford, who I first met in 2014, and who helped me change my life.

She taught me step-by-step how to build and launch my first online course, which supported me to keep homeschooling as a single mum.

Jana and I connect this full-circle moment to the start of a new horse year (this time fire, last time wood), and talk about how we trust timing and “felt sense” over linear timelines.

We then dive into our shared concern about popularised language, especially “nervous system regulation/dysregulation” and how it can lose nuance, become a box, and turn into judgment about feeling painful feelings.

We discuss how words function like spells that shape lived reality, why Jana shifted from saying “triggered” to the word “activated,” and how AI and social media amplify shorthand that replaces storytelling and specificity.

I share etymology research linking “reg/regulate” to “king/right/correct,” and frame how the Disconnected Domination Culture can co-opt helpful concepts into those more related to control, conformity, and suppression.

Jana explains how she first received the word “regulation” as a demand to be calm and monotone, stripping personality and creativity, and contrasts that with her approach to big dreams: feeling everything, moving through what she calls "resistance", and her invented framework “Retriculate,” which she created after thinking that was what Twilight’s “matriculate" was saying.

I outline The Marion Method distinction between thoughts-feelings (like guilt/shame from DDC conditioning), needs-feelings (like fear signalling unmet needs for safety), and healing-feelings (past pain surfacing in the present), and we agree that blanket “regulate” talk can obscure what’s actually happening for any unique individual.

Jana also talked about her sabbatical experiment with slow living, and the practical body-based changes she made (sleep, protein, coffee timing, walking, heavy lifting) to support her body: while still prioritising aliveness and creation.

We end by affirming choice, long-form conversation as an antidote to buzzwords, and the value of finding language that reflects lived experience: like Jana’s distilled insight that “regulation blunts big dreams.”

I enjoyed the insight that after a conversation like this, we've both come away with a short distilled description of why we value reconsidering the term regulation, and that these short forms act as holographs of the whole, in contrast to terms that cut off deeper meaning and nuance.

00:00 Welcome & Reconnecting After Years

00:56 How an Online Course Changed Marion’s Life (2014 Origin Story)

02:14 OG Online Course Tech + Showing Up Unscripted

04:46 From $7K a Year to $7K in Two Weeks: Building a Values-Led Work LIfe

07:02 Full-Circle Timing: Year of the Horse & Trusting the Invisible Timeline

08:51 Why We’re Talking ‘Regulation’: Trending Words, Lost Nuance & ‘Activated’ vs ‘Triggered’

15:29 Words Are Spells: Etymology, Word-of-the-Year Power & Consciousness with Language

24:55 When ‘Regulation’ Becomes a Judgment: DDC, Feelings as Gifts & The Need for Specificity

39:16 The History Behind ‘Regulate’: Kings, ‘Right/Correct,’ and ‘Might Is Right’

42:14 Retriculate and 'Resistance': A Process for Feeling Everything Through Big Dreams

46:48 Jana's Retriculate: feeling one's feelings to release energy related to money

47:35 Authenticity over polish: creating new language for new experiences

49:14 The wealth myth: ‘less emotion = more money’ (and why it’s backwards)

50:58 Why ‘nervous system regulation’ became a buzzword (and how it can backfire)

53:51 Psyche vs nervous system: words that shape one'ss inner state

55:31 The AI era advantage: going viral by being ourselves

56:21 A nuanced map: Marion's 3 types of feelings (thoughts, needs, healing)

01:01:48 When regulation becomes dissociation: why ‘calm’ isn’t always most helpful

01:03:36 Big dreams unleash big emotions: not ‘regulating’ our way out of growth

01:06:07 Goals vs callings: devotion, connection, and healing on the way

01:17:25 The ‘slow living’ trend: when slowing down stifles creativity

01:22:52 Needs-based body support: sleep, protein, cortisol, and individual needs

01:27:21 Storytelling vs. 'Nervous System' Labels: Naming Real Experience

01:29:03 Indigenous Rhythms & Why Stopping Can Stop Momentum for Some

01:34:49 Universal Words, Machine Culture & Staying Human

01:36:58 Feeling to Create: Emotionalising the Big Dream

01:42:20 Trends, Virality & Reclaiming Power of Choice Online

01:44:47 Free Spirits vs. 'Strategy': Survival Mode, AI, & Creativity

01:52:41 Trust, Psychospiritual Clarity & Long-Form as the Antidote

02:00:01 Distillation, Having an Edge & Closing Reflections

Disclaimer: This podcast is my own independent offering, and the perspectives and information I share here are my own, from my own experiences and understandings. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Aletha Solter, PhD, or the Aware Parenting Institute.

You can find out more about Jana Kingsford and her work at:

💜 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/janakingsford/

💜 Facebook Personal Page: https://www.facebook.com/janakingsfordbigdreamer

💜 Website: https://janakingsford.com/

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💖 Thank you for listening!

I’m so willing for this episode to support you in finding more freedom and connection.

#psychospiritual #themarionmethod #consciousness #language #regulation

📚 Here's the link to the PDF about the history of feelings that I talked about on the episode: https://marion-rose.myflodesk.com/tantrums-and-tears-a-history

📚 Here's my PDF on Reconsidering Regulation: https://marion-rose.myflodesk.com/reconsidering-regulation-pdf

🌐 My Website: https://marionrose.net/

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🌹❤️ Big love,

Marion xoxo