WEBVTT
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Hello and welcome to Rediscovering Connection.
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I am Shelley Doyle.
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And this podcast is all about speaking to innovative founders, leaders, community builders, and researchers who are on the cutting edge of connection.
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Maybe they found new ways to connect in their own lives, or they're finding ways to help their clients connect.
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Um, my guest today is one of the latter.
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So she's really finding ways to help her clients reconnect with time and actually get time back in their lives.
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for the people that matter the most.
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Welcome Ashley.
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Thank you so much for being with me today.
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Do you want to start by just giving us a little bit about what, what you do and really your motivation, why you started doing this work?
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Yeah.
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Thank you so much for having me, Shelley.
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I really appreciate it.
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Um, so I am the founder of a company called Sundays and Sundays is an executive assistant service for working parents.
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So our goal is to, um, take off the admin work, uh, off parent's plates so that they get more focused time back at work and more quality time back at home.
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Um, and the reason that I was drawn to Start Sundays is actually my own mom.
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She was a computer scientist in the eighties in the San Francisco Bay Area.
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Um, and as she started to have kids, she felt like she really couldn't do both family and work and she had to make a choice between them.
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Um, and she chose to stay home with us, which I am super grateful for all the time that I got with her.
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Um, but I think she missed out on a little bit of personal fulfillment.
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She could have had outside of the home.
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Um, and.
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The world has missed out on generations of what women can contribute to the workforce when they are able to be a part of the paid workforce.
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And so I've always been really interested in this.
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I joined the tech industry, same tech industry in the same location about 25 years later.
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Um, and I saw so many women, um, start to have to make the same choice.
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A lot of the smartest, um, and most driven people I knew as they had families, um, ran again into this wall of balancing family and work, um, and had to choose between family or work or are constantly feeling like they're failing at both.
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Um, And so that was really what drove me to start Sunday is I started by just interviewing as many parents as I could about what makes it so hard to balance both and what works or what doesn't work.
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And, and ended up with what we do today, which is we have a team of executive assistants.
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And they are all based in the US right now, and they're all other parents so they understand the same struggles that are.
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Our clients are going through, um, and then we help them with what I call life ops.
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So all the things that underlie keeping your family running, like making sure dentists appointments get scheduled, or you get signed up for sports leagues next season, or you're ready for the holidays.
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Um, and hopefully give parents that time back for doing things that they really care about.
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I
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love it.
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I love it so much.
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And it's such a different, different slant on it.
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Cause there's like quite a lot of, um, virtual assistant companies.
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And as a coach, I've been introduced to quite a few of these companies.
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One of them that did sound amazing, it outsourced.
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Um, so all of it's in all of its VAs were based in the Philippines.
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I, I, I had a VA here for a while.
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And I really did appreciate having that closer touch point with people who are, uh, like physically here.
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Was that an intentional decision to employ local VAs?
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Yeah.
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Um, so when we first started, we experimented with hiring people in other countries, and I think, um, there are a lot of amazing people in other countries that can do great work.
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Um, but there's so much cultural knowledge that comes with what it takes to raise a family here and how our school systems work and how summer camps work and things like that, that, um, it's really valuable to have that firsthand knowledge of experiencing that yourself and, um, Making, yeah, understanding exactly how those systems work so that you can help other families with it.
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When we were, um, looking at hiring people from other countries, we felt like it would be like a lot of training, um, in order to get them up to speed and, and also just needing that kind of constant reminders because it's not a part of their day to day life.
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Um, whereas for our team here, it is something they're personally experiencing.
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And so they're really prepared and really able to be proactive about those things.
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So are they typically
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moms?
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They are almost all moms.
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We have one dad on our team today, and we're definitely interested in bringing more, more dads on to, um, but a lot of really awesome moms.
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And we hire most people, um, part time so that they can have flexibility in their day where they can still pick up their kids from school or get to a soccer game or something like that.
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Love
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it.
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So yeah, so what I was leading to, I think with the talking about the other VAs, it's always business outsourcing.
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So this is, this is a really different, it's just not something I've heard before, like obviously a lot of, a lot of people that I know and I have had cleaners in the past, haven't right now and I'm confused as to why that is not the case.
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And that, but, but other things like, yeah, life ops, you call it, which I love, life ops.
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It's like how to have that managed efficiently so your day to day, your kids are in the camps that you wanted to get them in because that's on somebody else's to do list at the right time.
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Cause I know like just to get my kids into swimming, um, swimming lessons, it's like 6 a.
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m.
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You have to be on at 6 a.
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m.
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and you have to have the lessons that you want in your basket and press go.
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Otherwise, no chance, right?
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So somebody else could be doing that
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on your behalf.
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Exactly.
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Or yes, it's at 6am or it's at like 10am in the middle of your work day and you're like, I have a big presentation, but I will secretly be on my phone trying to get into these lessons.
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So yeah, exactly that type of work.
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And something that really spoke to me, um, which you shared quite candidly on LinkedIn some months ago leading up to your wedding.
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Um, you shared that everything was going great, like your business is thriving, and yet your body is speaking to you and telling you that something isn't right.
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So you are obviously working yourself to the ground.
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Yeah.
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Um, and then there was a big reminder of the work that you're doing, right?
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And it's like, how do I, do I live?
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The work that I'm helping others.
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So tell us a little bit about that.
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Yeah.
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I mean, I, so I came to this problem by realizing that it was a problem that so many parents were running into and not necessarily by being an expert at delegating myself.
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Um, and I think that very similar to many of our clients.
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I, I like to do a lot of things at once.
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So I was like starting this company, it was planning a international wedding.
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Um, and I.
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And things were going well.
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So I was like, Sundays is, is working really well.
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We, um, have a lot of really exciting clients that we're working with and we're starting to grow the team.
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Um, and at the same time, I was doing a lot of stuff on the personal front too.
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And, um, and I set these kind of.
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Arbitrary deadlines for myself where I was like before the wedding XYZ must happen.
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And for months, I was like, okay, 90 days, 60 days, like 15 days.
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And so I like put all of this pressure on myself to get these things done.
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And in some ways, pressure is good because it gets done.
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helps you move faster, but, um, but I wasn't doing it in a way that was scalable.
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So at the time, like every, especially on the Sunday side, every single thing was running through me.
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Like we had 15 people on the team, every person reported to me, every client, um, question or complaint got like escalated directly to me, even if it was really minor.
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Um, and I.
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Literally just like my body could not handle the stress of like every day trying to do this, all of those things to just like, keep everything afloat.
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In addition to trying to grow the business.
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And I, um, ended up with not an ulcer, but like almost an ulcer where I was, I literally could not sleep at night.
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Cause I was like having such severe stomach pain.
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And I don't know if this has ever happened to me, another person to you, but another person on my team said this happened to her too.
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And it's like, Um, it was like really severe pain.
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I was like, I like, do I need to go to the hospital?
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Or like, is this something that will like, I'll overcome.
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And so I ended up going to the doctor and she was like, do you know what the cause of your pain is?
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Like, there isn't really a medical reason.
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It's actually just like the stress that you're putting on yourself that causes can cause like a bodily reaction.
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So, um, kind of hit this point right before, like literally the day before we're flying to the wedding, I was like, I, Must go to the doctor today because otherwise I think I'm like, not going to be able to be present and enjoy the wedding.
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So it kind of a, a rock bottom right there.
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Um, and it was a good lesson for me and, and actually learning to delegate and give other people ownership and responsibility too.
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And I just think it is the way of so many coaches, like we, we teach what we need to learn.
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And I think that is a truth.
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Yeah.
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Uh huh.
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And our passion comes from our pain.
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So you saw the pain in your family from, from your mom and you thought, I want to do this.
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I want to be able to do this right.
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So you set yourself up for success when you, when you start your family.
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Um, and something that just came through when you were saying about the 90 days, 60 days, 30 days, you come from a product background.
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So presumably you're used to those products sprints.
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And those preparing to launch sprints.
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So you're, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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So you're in that mindset for launches.
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Yeah.
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How did it feel to then go, okay, maybe we're not going to hit these milestones.
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Maybe I need to give myself more grace.
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Yeah, I think that, um, well, I think one thing that was interesting is like, we actually did hit a lot of the milestones that I wanted to, but then I was constantly kind of like moving the goalposts.
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I was like, okay, we did this.
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Like, what's the next big thing we can do?
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Um, And I think a lot of people who are used to being in this like, like, high achieving mindset do that a lot where they're like, Okay, what's the next big thing and you don't stop to like celebrate the accomplishments that you have.
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And, and so.
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And also when you're at this really early stage of starting a company, you actually don't really know what milestones are realistic at all.
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You're like, well, let me just throw something out there and hope that we get there.
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Um, and so now I'm trying to be, I think it's easier since we're at a later stage of the company, but trying to be a little bit more realistic with like, I know what things can get us to be certain milestones now.
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And do I even have enough time in my own day to do that?
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Or do we have enough time across our team to be able to get to those milestones?
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That These specific points.
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So, um, both just being more realistic.
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And then also, as you said, giving myself and the team more grace to, um, accept when maybe we're learning something, but we didn't, we didn't hit the exact
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milestone we were hoping for.
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So let's talk about time.
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So now you had that deep, deep learning and you started to delegate.
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I guess, how does it feel to actually be living what you've gifted your clients, what you've gifted the mums that then have time back to have with their families?
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How does it feel to have, like, sorted that out for yourself and relinquished some control and now you have some time, perhaps more time for your relationships, for your new marriage and all of those, all of those things that you really wanted to be able to prioritise?
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Yeah, it is such a relief and just like so much more joy in my own day to day.
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Um, it's definitely slow work in progress where I'm learning what it takes.
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Um, and it, it took a lot of work to get to this point where even once I realized I need to hand things more things off, it's not an, it's not like tomorrow things are just handed off.
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It's.
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Like you have to find, for me at least, it was finding the right people, building trust with those people.
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Um, luckily we already had some people on our team who were in great positions for that.
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Um, and then figuring out what systems to put in place so that they can have the ownership that I want them to have, but I still have the comfort of knowing things are going well.
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Um, and so there's a lot of work that goes into building those systems too.
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But now that we are a few months into that, I, it's.
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improve my days like a thousand percent where I really enjoy and look forward to like every day getting to start work and every day, um, hearing from the people who do have those ownership, that ownership now and how things are going and how they're feeling and growth in their own careers, which is really exciting.
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Beautiful.
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Um, we, we have spoken a little bit about, um, about channels.
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And I wonder if we can just go back to that, um, uh, topic that I'm really passionate about and interested in right now is social wealth and how we build social wealth into our, into our lives.
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And one of the foundational pillars is personal expression.
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So it's finding ways that we feel able to express ourselves.
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Authentically fully.
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Um, yeah, I wonder, I wonder if you want to speak to that about any of the ways that you found you feel really natural because being a founder of a company, you don't necessarily prepare yourself to be at the spokesperson at different and like, where's your comfort levels in terms of being that being that the face of Sundays.
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Yeah, um, it's really interesting.
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I think when I come from a product background, and so I really hadn't done any sort of like marketing before starting Sundays.
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Um, and I, at first I was not prepared, but the more that I got into it, the more I realized, like, you kind of have to be your company a little bit, at least in the beginning, because if you don't tell people what's happening, like what you're working on, no one is going to find it.
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Um, and I think, especially people who have like a product or engineering background, a lot of us come in thinking like, I will build this great thing and people will love it and they'll buy it.
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Um, that's not actually how it works because people can't.
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love it and buy it if they don't know that it exists.
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Um, and so there's this process of helping people find, like, find out that it exists.
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Um, and I, what I really love, I think my also a mindset shift I made was I was like afraid to do sales and marketing because it felt like very sale y and I think a lot of us don't like Being sold to, um, but a reframe, I think that's been really helpful for me is thinking of it more as, um, helping people who have a problem, find a solution to their problem.
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So I'm not trying to convince people that this is the, that don't have this problem, that they need it.
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It's mostly finding people who already are suffering from this problem and trying to help them find the right solution, whether that's working with us or setting their own systems or something like that.
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Um, and so.
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I went through a big journey of learning marketing.
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At one point I literally would have in my days, like a block that said do marketing, and then I would get there and be like, Oh my gosh, what do I do?
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And, and I started experimenting with different ways to get the word out.
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Um, and ended up focusing on LinkedIn.
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Um, basically I did these like short two week experiments and a few different channels.
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Um, and LinkedIn was the place where.
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I could get the fastest feedback and also, um, LinkedIn, I really like because you start with a network of people who already know you personally and that you've spent years probably developing relationships with and, um, whether they're a customer or not they're generally supportive of you, um, Doing this work.
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I hope, I think maybe you found this as well, where people are just like, wow, that's really cool that someone I've known for years is like going out on their own.
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Um, and so, yeah, what I, and LinkedIn has been a journey.
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I started just like, I'm going to post every day for two weeks and see what happens.
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Um, And got really positive feedback just in that quick, uh, quick experiment.
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And then now, um, it is our, by far our main marketing channel for Sundays.
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So, um, I post, I try to post every weekday and then I don't look at it.
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I don't look at it at all on the weekends.
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And, um, And then have developed kind of a marketing strategy around, um, the types of things that I post, but also I personally write every single thing that is that we put out there and, um, take a lot of pride in making sure that it.
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Feels like it's coming from me personally.
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And that has led to connect.
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I think I was telling you before we started recording that, um, it's, it is blown me away how many amazing people I've been able to connect with through LinkedIn and build, um, what at this point feel like long term relationships with people that I just met on the internet, which I had never had an experience with before.
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Beautiful.
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And yeah, I have a note on my fridge, no email or LinkedIn at the weekends.
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So I'm the same as you and that's it.
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We have to play with these, not only these kinds of tests for different social platforms, but boundaries.
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on ourselves because as business owners, it can be all consuming and like the tendency, the temptation to just check your phone and just this and just that.
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But, uh, yeah, like you, I know that I need that decompression over the weekend, particularly.
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Um, I do sometimes try and do it from say four o'clock in the morning.
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weekdays as well.
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So I can be really present with my kids once they're home from school.
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Um, and just, yeah, testing and feeling into what actually makes us feel healthy and recharge, recharge.
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So the next day when we, we're ready to start again, we're actually ready to start again because we have had that conscious pause.
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Yeah.
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I think it makes so much difference.
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I actually have this, I have this sticky note that says end the day on my, um, desk and that's something I've been working on.
00:18:25.724 --> 00:18:34.474
And I think I've gotten better at is just like on a, um, day to day basis of like, actually like the, the to do list is never ending.
00:18:34.474 --> 00:18:36.174
It will always be there tomorrow.
00:18:36.214 --> 00:18:40.375
Um, but giving myself the time back on a daily basis to really.
00:18:40.654 --> 00:18:44.305
Reset and be able to come the next day with energy.
00:18:44.315 --> 00:18:47.444
Cause I think for a while I would work, I would just keep working all night.
00:18:47.464 --> 00:18:54.424
And sometimes maybe there's a big project where you need to push through for that, but, um, you don't need to do that every day.
00:18:54.424 --> 00:18:57.954
And being able to actually, I think energy is our most valuable resource.
00:18:57.964 --> 00:19:00.535
So, um, figuring out what it takes to.
00:19:00.894 --> 00:19:05.335
recharge and be able to start Energized is really valuable.
00:19:06.984 --> 00:19:13.634
And just thinking about the topic of time, like what kind of feedback are you getting from clients?
00:19:13.684 --> 00:19:17.394
Like how, because this is such a new service, what are your clients saying?
00:19:18.105 --> 00:19:28.105
I think that the biggest thing that we help people do is, is reduce their mental load where they can just like give something to us, and we can take it and run with it and they're like okay.
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:32.130
Shelby has this handled now, uh, and that's really valuable.
00:19:32.529 --> 00:19:42.085
And also, I think people who work best with us kind of loop us in really regularly to their day to day so they'll send us like a text message on a daily basis.
00:19:42.365 --> 00:19:50.444
The like just kind of forward things to us throughout the day and then we set up times to check in with them and be like okay tell it let's talk through like, is this a priority.
00:19:50.875 --> 00:19:53.934
Um, one thing last week, I was really excited.
00:19:53.954 --> 00:19:57.575
Um, one of our clients started a new executive role.
00:19:57.575 --> 00:20:03.505
And one of, one of my big goals is to help get more moms into leadership roles, because I think that's how we can reshape how, how we work.
00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:06.609
Society overall thinks about balancing family and work.
00:20:06.670 --> 00:20:13.299
Um, so we had a client who has been prepping to start this new leadership role for a couple of months and working with the person on our team.
00:20:13.710 --> 00:20:16.950
Um, and she has three kids, they live in Manhattan.
00:20:16.970 --> 00:20:19.869
Each of the kids does like three activities every week.
00:20:19.869 --> 00:20:28.450
And so, um, normally the mom is like super involved in planning that and has that kind of running in the back of her mind every day.
00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:33.539
And she called us last week in her first week of work and said, I haven't had to think about the kids at all.
00:20:33.549 --> 00:20:41.839
Like I'm so confident that you have it handled for me that I feel really good and really confident in my first week of work, which I thought was really fun.
00:20:41.940 --> 00:20:42.710
Amazing.
00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:47.480
So, um, yeah, I guess what, what's, what's next for you?
00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:56.559
Like, what's your, what's the next big thing that, um, that is really gonna help you to thrive personally or professionally?
00:20:56.930 --> 00:21:03.609
Um, knowing all what you have learned up till now, is there something that That you're striving for.
00:21:04.410 --> 00:21:05.029
Yeah.
00:21:05.089 --> 00:21:06.490
Um, that is a good question.
00:21:06.490 --> 00:21:10.089
I I'm expecting my first in early next year.
00:21:10.089 --> 00:21:19.420
And so a lot of what I'm thinking about now on the personal side is like how to use more of these systems that I've been learning from all of these other amazing parents.
00:21:19.420 --> 00:21:22.380
And we've been building for the parents we work with in my own life.
00:21:22.450 --> 00:21:29.339
It's it's just so interesting to see all of the components already that, um, I'm thinking about differently than I was before.
00:21:29.369 --> 00:21:30.730
Um, so.
00:21:31.349 --> 00:21:37.180
Yeah, trying to figure out the right systems for our family going forward, which has been really fun.
00:21:37.279 --> 00:21:57.434
Something I did at the beginning of, um, This delegation period I've been in was I did this thing called a time and energy audit and basically for a couple of days I tracked what I would do what I was doing every 15 minutes and I would just like write a list of it and then at the end, um, wrote like How does this affect my energy?
00:21:57.434 --> 00:21:59.625
Like, does it give me energy or does it take away energy?
00:21:59.625 --> 00:22:06.825
And then, um, how valuable is this in terms of like, how important is this, um, either to the company or to my personal life?
00:22:06.825 --> 00:22:19.664
And, um, that kind of gives you these quadrants where you end up with like things that are important for you to do, things that are important, but somebody else can help you with, um, and then things that maybe you can just.
00:22:19.744 --> 00:22:31.295
Um, and so I think that was a really interesting check in for me personally of like what, whether my time was aligned with what I wanted to be doing.
00:22:31.345 --> 00:22:44.265
Um, and I hope to continue doing that on like a quarterly basis or something to figure out as business and family evolves, which areas I want to lean into and lean out of more.
00:22:45.125 --> 00:22:45.634
Yeah.
00:22:45.684 --> 00:22:47.974
I love that time and energy audit.
00:22:47.974 --> 00:23:13.799
I Um, I have something similar like a joy o meter and we'll do it for spending time with people and it's like some people are very time poor and it's like well what about if you just go around for a 30 minute coffee like would that be a worthwhile commute and time with each other or are you better off saving that time in the time bank and then catching up for a couple of hours and having a more deep dive interaction.
00:23:13.799 --> 00:23:14.332
Jen.
00:23:14.332 --> 00:23:14.865
Jen.
00:23:15.065 --> 00:23:20.275
And then with my kids, I do it with money, like they get, um, they get money for when they read books.
00:23:20.765 --> 00:23:21.585
They'll get a dollar.
00:23:21.954 --> 00:23:23.714
So encouraging them to read.
00:23:23.775 --> 00:23:28.595
And then when they go to spend the money, it's like, okay, let's think about how much joy you're going to get out of that thing.
00:23:28.595 --> 00:23:38.265
Like they just bought this little motorbike thing and it's like, not, not, wasn't very expensive, but like thinking, are you going to get the value out of that in comparison to these other things?
00:23:38.575 --> 00:23:39.974
And yeah, I love that.
00:23:39.984 --> 00:23:49.494
The idea of, um, really analyzing that and make more intentional choices of our time and, um, and investment as well.
00:23:50.075 --> 00:23:51.035
Really like that.
00:23:51.275 --> 00:23:51.934
Um, yeah.
00:23:51.934 --> 00:24:10.444
Thinking on that, is there, is there another tool that you could share with busy moms out there that are really struggling to do it all, that could, they could think about either outsourcing something or doing something a different way, um, to help relieve that time pressure?
00:24:11.424 --> 00:24:13.015
Yeah, that's a great question.
00:24:13.075 --> 00:24:15.025
Um, I think that.
00:24:15.990 --> 00:24:21.359
Other things that I've seen, I think it's just like building systems that work for your family.
00:24:21.710 --> 00:24:36.500
Um, so one thing in particular, and we do this a few ways, but, um, like meal planning is one of those things that is constantly, um, on parents minds as, as they live their lives and eat and try to get their kids to eat too.
00:24:36.940 --> 00:24:42.160
Um, and so I think figuring out a meal planning system that works for your family, that is.
00:24:42.470 --> 00:24:44.579
Fast is something that's really valuable.
00:24:44.579 --> 00:24:53.690
So we, some families we work with will have very particular meal planning needs and we will like do spreadsheets with them where we're like, okay, are we getting all of the macros that you want it or something like that?
00:24:54.079 --> 00:25:04.559
Um, but then for most families, I think there are a lot of, there's like great apps out there that can actually do a lot of the meal planning for you, where you upload your own recipes and you build a plan for the week.
00:25:05.470 --> 00:25:10.230
Order groceries and, um, those can be really, those can really save a lot of time.
00:25:10.230 --> 00:25:13.589
So we use an app called maple, um, pretty frequently for that.
00:25:13.640 --> 00:25:21.849
Um, there are others that might have different needs, but I think figuring out even like one small system that works for your family can be really, really helpful.
00:25:22.269 --> 00:25:25.359
Um, other things we're trying to do are build out like.
00:25:26.029 --> 00:25:30.700
Um, guides or checklists where we think of like everything you might need to think of.
00:25:30.710 --> 00:25:37.730
So we have one that we built for Halloween, where we were like, here are all the things that go into making sure your family is ready for Halloween.
00:25:37.809 --> 00:25:43.180
And it's like, it's brainstorm costumes, think about like face paint.
00:25:43.259 --> 00:25:52.700
Um, but also like make sure that you check the weather and you have a backup outfit in case, um, in case it ends up not being, not being good weather or like look for routes.
00:25:52.730 --> 00:25:54.390
Um, so those are things where.
00:25:55.255 --> 00:25:58.545
We're trying to identify everything that you need to do so you don't have to think about it.
00:25:58.545 --> 00:26:02.615
I think it's like that free thinking actually takes a lot of energy.
00:26:02.615 --> 00:26:09.694
A lot of times, like actually executing the tasks is not as time intensive as, um, as remembering all these things you need to do.
00:26:09.714 --> 00:26:21.335
So, um, for us, we think building out these systems of, of processes you do every time you run into the holidays or every time you run into summer camp planning can save a lot of time.
00:26:21.970 --> 00:26:22.710
So good.
00:26:22.769 --> 00:26:23.289
So good.
00:26:23.589 --> 00:26:30.329
And we did get into a habit of, um, family meetings when we lived at the eco village.
00:26:30.369 --> 00:26:34.789
So there they would do it every Friday was like a heart circle.
00:26:35.009 --> 00:26:37.069
So we got into the habit of doing that.
00:26:37.349 --> 00:26:39.420
I think weekly became a bit.
00:26:40.005 --> 00:26:44.785
too regular for such a formal meeting, um, with the family.
00:26:44.785 --> 00:26:51.914
So we still have like breakfast on a Sunday and we'll kind of have a bit of a, um, uh, routine when that happens.
00:26:52.234 --> 00:27:06.815
Um, but yeah, otherwise, when you were talking about the meal planning, like our system in our house, which has just evolved naturally, I always do the grocery shopping and then my partner will like see what I bought and then he'll do a meal plan based on what is there.
00:27:06.904 --> 00:27:12.954
So kind of the other way around to the apps of like going to buy things, but that seems to work for us.
00:27:13.005 --> 00:27:16.134
Um, yeah, he's the, he's the key chef in our house.
00:27:16.134 --> 00:27:17.125
I'm the commis chef.
00:27:17.575 --> 00:27:17.855
So.
00:27:18.384 --> 00:27:18.954
I love it.
00:27:19.035 --> 00:27:19.515
Yeah.
00:27:19.605 --> 00:27:19.855
Yeah.
00:27:19.855 --> 00:27:20.744
I think that makes a lot of sense.
00:27:20.775 --> 00:27:26.684
And people, sometimes it's just like some people just have like a whiteboard that they use, but having that system that works makes sense.
00:27:26.714 --> 00:27:28.815
And I love the weekly meeting as well.
00:27:29.184 --> 00:27:39.095
Um, We right now we don't do as much of the like coaching on changing your behavior, although that is a big shift that we see most successful families do.
00:27:39.134 --> 00:27:43.484
Um, and I think the, the weekly meeting is really interesting.
00:27:43.484 --> 00:27:44.835
I have done that with my partner.
00:27:45.355 --> 00:27:51.204
On occasion, but we struggled to do it on the weekend because we were like, we really just want to be relaxed for the weekend.
00:27:51.744 --> 00:27:55.005
Um, but then sometimes the week feels super busy to get it in.
00:27:55.005 --> 00:28:02.835
So, um, but a lot of families that I know, and also a lot of families who are able to successfully outsource do this kind of planning between themselves.
00:28:02.845 --> 00:28:07.914
So they know what their priorities are and they can identify things that are not as good of a use of their time.
00:28:09.549 --> 00:28:24.660
Yeah, I just, one thing that's coming up, when we did have one of those weekly meetings, when we moved, um, back to Langford, uh, the school that my daughter goes to, they don't allow Pokémon in the school, like, there's just no, nothing against Pokémon, they just don't allow toys.
00:28:25.210 --> 00:28:25.430
Got it.
00:28:25.430 --> 00:28:33.519
And my daughter, they used to, they used to trade Pokémon cards at her old school, so she was like, really sad that she didn't get a chance to like, use this big collection of cards.
00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:35.670
So we were like, okay, let's launch a Pokemon club.
00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:37.880
But that came up in one of those family meetings.
00:28:37.890 --> 00:28:46.009
It's like, is there anything that's, anything that's come up for you that you just want to like share with us and like a really kind kind of invitation to share?
00:28:46.210 --> 00:28:54.470
So those kinds of things come to the surface then it's like, it's giving the space, giving the invitation to share, um, can be really revealing.
00:28:55.269 --> 00:28:55.900
Yeah.
00:28:55.940 --> 00:28:56.529
Super interesting.
00:28:56.529 --> 00:28:58.880
And how do you involve the kids in the meeting usually?
00:28:59.515 --> 00:29:04.714
Um, yeah, so we, so we all sit in a four and we use something as a talking stick.
00:29:05.144 --> 00:29:15.174
So, and this came from the eco village, so we would take turns and we would say, maybe we'd start by saying something we're grateful for to kind of just get the flow of conversation moving around.
00:29:15.265 --> 00:29:18.095
And then we'll say, is there anything coming up for you?
00:29:18.125 --> 00:29:23.855
Anything that, that happened that was great this week or anything that wasn't so great or anything that you just want to share.
00:29:24.134 --> 00:29:27.505
And then we'll just take turns talking and just see what kind of naturally comes.
00:29:28.779 --> 00:29:29.309
I love it.
00:29:29.910 --> 00:29:30.599
That's really great.
00:29:32.299 --> 00:29:43.140
Is there anything that you haven't shared today that you think I can't leave this conversation before sharing this with whoever might choose to listen to this conversation?
00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:50.410
I think that what we've been talking about is just like the value of, of time and, and energy.
00:29:50.410 --> 00:29:58.279
And I think that, um, what I've seen from a lot of the most successful families I've worked with are that they.
00:29:59.190 --> 00:30:28.664
give themselves permission to value their own time, um, and, and yeah, pay for time back if that's what is needed, um, or figure out a system between themselves where they get some time back, um, for personal time and for family time, um, and I think just, It's okay to value your own time and to, um, and to use that to do whatever connection you need.
00:30:28.704 --> 00:30:34.755
So, um, if anybody is looking for a little bit of permission, please take permission from me.
00:30:34.835 --> 00:30:43.845
Um, and even if it's just to experiment with that and see how, um, how it works for you and how you might want to evolve it over time, I think that, um, it's.
00:30:44.650 --> 00:30:45.480
It's so valuable.
00:30:47.200 --> 00:30:48.759
Well said, well said.
00:30:48.759 --> 00:31:14.954
And I guess on this, in the same breath, like what I'm doing is helping people to reconnect with friends, with Connections that maybe were a big part of their past and with technology, what it is today, there's really no reason why they can't be a part of our current present, if indeed there is that alignment, maybe you're at the same stage, maybe you're both having children at the same time and you haven't been connected for a while.
00:31:14.964 --> 00:31:20.744
So I'm helping people to find ways to reconnect and really rekindle some of those really nourishing.
00:31:21.109 --> 00:31:33.390
Um, relationships in their lives, but time again is a big reason why that comes up again and again, why we're not doing this, especially if we're, you know, high achieving business people.
00:31:33.390 --> 00:31:38.450
And we've invested so much in the business and financial wealth.
00:31:38.700 --> 00:31:46.720
Unfortunately, that, that comes as sometimes neglecting our social wealth and our social well being.
00:31:46.730 --> 00:31:53.920
So having some of that time back to reinvest into the relationships that matter can really serve our present and our future selves.
00:31:55.525 --> 00:31:56.845
I love Ashley, it's so important.
00:31:56.884 --> 00:31:57.904
It's all linked in.
00:31:59.444 --> 00:32:04.194
Well, it was so beautiful getting to know you a bit more, Ashley, and I wish you every success.
00:32:04.214 --> 00:32:05.414
I'm excited for this.
00:32:05.414 --> 00:32:11.785
I'm excited to share this with so many busy moms and dads that I know that could benefit from having this kind of service.
00:32:11.795 --> 00:32:16.525
So yeah, really excited to see what, to see where your journey, where your journey goes.
00:32:16.535 --> 00:32:17.535
Congratulations.
00:32:18.765 --> 00:32:19.444
so much, Shelly.
00:32:19.454 --> 00:32:24.130
And I really appreciate you having me, um, I think these conversations are so valuable.
00:32:24.430 --> 00:32:26.930
So recommend listening to all the rest of them too.
00:00:00.930 --> 00:00:04.009
Hello and welcome to Rediscovering Connection.
00:00:04.120 --> 00:00:05.419
I am Shelley Doyle.
00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:16.329
And this podcast is all about speaking to innovative founders, leaders, community builders, and researchers who are on the cutting edge of connection.
00:00:16.570 --> 00:00:21.730
Maybe they found new ways to connect in their own lives, or they're finding ways to help their clients connect.
00:00:22.210 --> 00:00:25.089
Um, my guest today is one of the latter.
00:00:25.309 --> 00:00:32.820
So she's really finding ways to help her clients reconnect with time and actually get time back in their lives.
00:00:33.170 --> 00:00:35.200
for the people that matter the most.
00:00:35.450 --> 00:00:36.899
Welcome Ashley.
00:00:36.929 --> 00:00:39.009
Thank you so much for being with me today.
00:00:39.189 --> 00:00:46.770
Do you want to start by just giving us a little bit about what, what you do and really your motivation, why you started doing this work?
00:00:47.710 --> 00:00:48.149
Yeah.
00:00:48.200 --> 00:00:49.770
Thank you so much for having me, Shelley.
00:00:49.770 --> 00:00:50.829
I really appreciate it.
00:00:51.259 --> 00:00:58.020
Um, so I am the founder of a company called Sundays and Sundays is an executive assistant service for working parents.
00:00:58.500 --> 00:01:07.379
So our goal is to, um, take off the admin work, uh, off parent's plates so that they get more focused time back at work and more quality time back at home.
00:01:07.840 --> 00:01:11.640
Um, and the reason that I was drawn to Start Sundays is actually my own mom.
00:01:11.909 --> 00:01:16.269
She was a computer scientist in the eighties in the San Francisco Bay Area.
00:01:16.665 --> 00:01:22.875
Um, and as she started to have kids, she felt like she really couldn't do both family and work and she had to make a choice between them.
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Um, and she chose to stay home with us, which I am super grateful for all the time that I got with her.
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Um, but I think she missed out on a little bit of personal fulfillment.
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She could have had outside of the home.
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Um, and.
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The world has missed out on generations of what women can contribute to the workforce when they are able to be a part of the paid workforce.
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And so I've always been really interested in this.
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I joined the tech industry, same tech industry in the same location about 25 years later.
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Um, and I saw so many women, um, start to have to make the same choice.
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A lot of the smartest, um, and most driven people I knew as they had families, um, ran again into this wall of balancing family and work, um, and had to choose between family or work or are constantly feeling like they're failing at both.
00:02:10.365 --> 00:02:22.180
Um, And so that was really what drove me to start Sunday is I started by just interviewing as many parents as I could about what makes it so hard to balance both and what works or what doesn't work.
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And, and ended up with what we do today, which is we have a team of executive assistants.
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And they are all based in the US right now, and they're all other parents so they understand the same struggles that are.
00:02:35.844 --> 00:02:40.784
Our clients are going through, um, and then we help them with what I call life ops.
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So all the things that underlie keeping your family running, like making sure dentists appointments get scheduled, or you get signed up for sports leagues next season, or you're ready for the holidays.
00:02:51.664 --> 00:02:56.625
Um, and hopefully give parents that time back for doing things that they really care about.
00:02:56.965 --> 00:02:56.974
I
00:02:57.754 --> 00:02:58.294
love it.
00:02:58.405 --> 00:02:59.314
I love it so much.
00:02:59.425 --> 00:03:01.905
And it's such a different, different slant on it.
00:03:01.914 --> 00:03:06.574
Cause there's like quite a lot of, um, virtual assistant companies.
00:03:06.865 --> 00:03:10.145
And as a coach, I've been introduced to quite a few of these companies.
00:03:10.754 --> 00:03:14.215
One of them that did sound amazing, it outsourced.
00:03:14.284 --> 00:03:18.465
Um, so all of it's in all of its VAs were based in the Philippines.
00:03:18.835 --> 00:03:21.594
I, I, I had a VA here for a while.
00:03:21.594 --> 00:03:28.854
And I really did appreciate having that closer touch point with people who are, uh, like physically here.
00:03:29.115 --> 00:03:34.485
Was that an intentional decision to employ local VAs?
00:03:35.310 --> 00:03:35.840
Yeah.
00:03:35.900 --> 00:03:44.360
Um, so when we first started, we experimented with hiring people in other countries, and I think, um, there are a lot of amazing people in other countries that can do great work.
00:03:44.379 --> 00:04:08.094
Um, but there's so much cultural knowledge that comes with what it takes to raise a family here and how our school systems work and how summer camps work and things like that, that, um, it's really valuable to have that firsthand knowledge of experiencing that yourself and, um, Making, yeah, understanding exactly how those systems work so that you can help other families with it.
00:04:08.354 --> 00:04:21.095
When we were, um, looking at hiring people from other countries, we felt like it would be like a lot of training, um, in order to get them up to speed and, and also just needing that kind of constant reminders because it's not a part of their day to day life.
00:04:21.125 --> 00:04:25.204
Um, whereas for our team here, it is something they're personally experiencing.
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And so they're really prepared and really able to be proactive about those things.
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So are they typically
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moms?
00:04:31.714 --> 00:04:32.884
They are almost all moms.
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We have one dad on our team today, and we're definitely interested in bringing more, more dads on to, um, but a lot of really awesome moms.
00:04:41.665 --> 00:04:51.235
And we hire most people, um, part time so that they can have flexibility in their day where they can still pick up their kids from school or get to a soccer game or something like that.
00:04:51.745 --> 00:04:52.115
Love
00:04:52.115 --> 00:04:52.394
it.
00:04:52.785 --> 00:04:59.725
So yeah, so what I was leading to, I think with the talking about the other VAs, it's always business outsourcing.
00:05:00.350 --> 00:05:12.339
So this is, this is a really different, it's just not something I've heard before, like obviously a lot of, a lot of people that I know and I have had cleaners in the past, haven't right now and I'm confused as to why that is not the case.
00:05:12.930 --> 00:05:19.509
And that, but, but other things like, yeah, life ops, you call it, which I love, life ops.
00:05:20.379 --> 00:05:30.930
It's like how to have that managed efficiently so your day to day, your kids are in the camps that you wanted to get them in because that's on somebody else's to do list at the right time.
00:05:31.139 --> 00:05:36.579
Cause I know like just to get my kids into swimming, um, swimming lessons, it's like 6 a.
00:05:36.620 --> 00:05:36.980
m.
00:05:37.060 --> 00:05:38.370
You have to be on at 6 a.
00:05:38.370 --> 00:05:38.610
m.
00:05:38.620 --> 00:05:42.040
and you have to have the lessons that you want in your basket and press go.
00:05:42.069 --> 00:05:44.240
Otherwise, no chance, right?
00:05:44.269 --> 00:05:46.149
So somebody else could be doing that
00:05:46.300 --> 00:05:46.810
on your behalf.
00:05:47.939 --> 00:05:48.509
Exactly.
00:05:48.529 --> 00:06:00.420
Or yes, it's at 6am or it's at like 10am in the middle of your work day and you're like, I have a big presentation, but I will secretly be on my phone trying to get into these lessons.
00:06:00.430 --> 00:06:02.050
So yeah, exactly that type of work.
00:06:02.910 --> 00:06:10.730
And something that really spoke to me, um, which you shared quite candidly on LinkedIn some months ago leading up to your wedding.
00:06:11.060 --> 00:06:19.850
Um, you shared that everything was going great, like your business is thriving, and yet your body is speaking to you and telling you that something isn't right.
00:06:20.139 --> 00:06:23.610
So you are obviously working yourself to the ground.
00:06:23.850 --> 00:06:24.139
Yeah.
00:06:24.189 --> 00:06:28.009
Um, and then there was a big reminder of the work that you're doing, right?
00:06:28.829 --> 00:06:32.120
And it's like, how do I, do I live?
00:06:32.490 --> 00:06:34.689
The work that I'm helping others.
00:06:35.040 --> 00:06:37.209
So tell us a little bit about that.
00:06:37.889 --> 00:06:38.290
Yeah.
00:06:38.290 --> 00:06:48.509
I mean, I, so I came to this problem by realizing that it was a problem that so many parents were running into and not necessarily by being an expert at delegating myself.
00:06:48.560 --> 00:06:52.250
Um, and I think that very similar to many of our clients.
00:06:52.250 --> 00:06:54.259
I, I like to do a lot of things at once.
00:06:54.269 --> 00:06:58.660
So I was like starting this company, it was planning a international wedding.
00:06:58.689 --> 00:07:00.990
Um, and I.
00:07:02.485 --> 00:07:03.415
And things were going well.
00:07:03.415 --> 00:07:05.644
So I was like, Sundays is, is working really well.
00:07:05.644 --> 00:07:10.774
We, um, have a lot of really exciting clients that we're working with and we're starting to grow the team.
00:07:11.194 --> 00:07:15.495
Um, and at the same time, I was doing a lot of stuff on the personal front too.
00:07:15.495 --> 00:07:18.045
And, um, and I set these kind of.
00:07:18.680 --> 00:07:23.649
Arbitrary deadlines for myself where I was like before the wedding XYZ must happen.
00:07:23.649 --> 00:07:27.889
And for months, I was like, okay, 90 days, 60 days, like 15 days.
00:07:27.889 --> 00:07:31.829
And so I like put all of this pressure on myself to get these things done.
00:07:31.829 --> 00:07:34.610
And in some ways, pressure is good because it gets done.
00:07:34.964 --> 00:07:39.935
helps you move faster, but, um, but I wasn't doing it in a way that was scalable.
00:07:39.954 --> 00:07:45.154
So at the time, like every, especially on the Sunday side, every single thing was running through me.
00:07:45.154 --> 00:07:55.954
Like we had 15 people on the team, every person reported to me, every client, um, question or complaint got like escalated directly to me, even if it was really minor.
00:07:56.345 --> 00:07:58.285
Um, and I.
00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:06.360
Literally just like my body could not handle the stress of like every day trying to do this, all of those things to just like, keep everything afloat.
00:08:06.379 --> 00:08:08.560
In addition to trying to grow the business.
00:08:08.589 --> 00:08:17.199
And I, um, ended up with not an ulcer, but like almost an ulcer where I was, I literally could not sleep at night.
00:08:17.199 --> 00:08:19.470
Cause I was like having such severe stomach pain.
00:08:19.779 --> 00:08:25.230
And I don't know if this has ever happened to me, another person to you, but another person on my team said this happened to her too.
00:08:25.230 --> 00:08:27.995
And it's like, Um, it was like really severe pain.
00:08:27.995 --> 00:08:30.305
I was like, I like, do I need to go to the hospital?
00:08:30.305 --> 00:08:33.870
Or like, is this something that will like, I'll overcome.
00:08:33.870 --> 00:08:39.559
And so I ended up going to the doctor and she was like, do you know what the cause of your pain is?
00:08:39.559 --> 00:08:41.279
Like, there isn't really a medical reason.
00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:47.809
It's actually just like the stress that you're putting on yourself that causes can cause like a bodily reaction.
00:08:47.809 --> 00:09:01.940
So, um, kind of hit this point right before, like literally the day before we're flying to the wedding, I was like, I, Must go to the doctor today because otherwise I think I'm like, not going to be able to be present and enjoy the wedding.
00:09:01.940 --> 00:09:05.259
So it kind of a, a rock bottom right there.
00:09:05.320 --> 00:09:13.590
Um, and it was a good lesson for me and, and actually learning to delegate and give other people ownership and responsibility too.
00:09:14.940 --> 00:09:23.350
And I just think it is the way of so many coaches, like we, we teach what we need to learn.
00:09:24.210 --> 00:09:25.710
And I think that is a truth.
00:09:26.149 --> 00:09:26.639
Yeah.
00:09:26.970 --> 00:09:27.549
Uh huh.
00:09:27.620 --> 00:09:30.169
And our passion comes from our pain.
00:09:30.419 --> 00:09:35.080
So you saw the pain in your family from, from your mom and you thought, I want to do this.
00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:36.409
I want to be able to do this right.
00:09:36.409 --> 00:09:40.440
So you set yourself up for success when you, when you start your family.
00:09:40.889 --> 00:09:48.649
Um, and something that just came through when you were saying about the 90 days, 60 days, 30 days, you come from a product background.
00:09:48.659 --> 00:09:51.289
So presumably you're used to those products sprints.
00:09:52.085 --> 00:09:54.375
And those preparing to launch sprints.
00:09:54.434 --> 00:09:56.014
So you're, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:56.014 --> 00:09:58.235
So you're in that mindset for launches.
00:09:59.154 --> 00:09:59.784
Yeah.
00:10:00.154 --> 00:10:03.585
How did it feel to then go, okay, maybe we're not going to hit these milestones.
00:10:03.605 --> 00:10:05.715
Maybe I need to give myself more grace.
00:10:06.365 --> 00:10:17.115
Yeah, I think that, um, well, I think one thing that was interesting is like, we actually did hit a lot of the milestones that I wanted to, but then I was constantly kind of like moving the goalposts.
00:10:17.115 --> 00:10:18.144
I was like, okay, we did this.
00:10:18.144 --> 00:10:20.054
Like, what's the next big thing we can do?
00:10:20.495 --> 00:10:35.014
Um, And I think a lot of people who are used to being in this like, like, high achieving mindset do that a lot where they're like, Okay, what's the next big thing and you don't stop to like celebrate the accomplishments that you have.
00:10:35.534 --> 00:10:37.014
And, and so.
00:10:38.174 --> 00:10:43.315
And also when you're at this really early stage of starting a company, you actually don't really know what milestones are realistic at all.
00:10:43.315 --> 00:10:46.804
You're like, well, let me just throw something out there and hope that we get there.
00:10:47.195 --> 00:10:58.684
Um, and so now I'm trying to be, I think it's easier since we're at a later stage of the company, but trying to be a little bit more realistic with like, I know what things can get us to be certain milestones now.
00:10:58.684 --> 00:11:01.985
And do I even have enough time in my own day to do that?
00:11:01.985 --> 00:11:06.715
Or do we have enough time across our team to be able to get to those milestones?
00:11:06.764 --> 00:11:08.279
That These specific points.
00:11:08.289 --> 00:11:11.379
So, um, both just being more realistic.
00:11:11.379 --> 00:11:22.500
And then also, as you said, giving myself and the team more grace to, um, accept when maybe we're learning something, but we didn't, we didn't hit the exact
00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:23.539
milestone we were hoping for.
00:11:24.899 --> 00:11:26.519
So let's talk about time.
00:11:27.149 --> 00:11:33.419
So now you had that deep, deep learning and you started to delegate.
00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:44.299
I guess, how does it feel to actually be living what you've gifted your clients, what you've gifted the mums that then have time back to have with their families?
00:11:44.580 --> 00:12:02.090
How does it feel to have, like, sorted that out for yourself and relinquished some control and now you have some time, perhaps more time for your relationships, for your new marriage and all of those, all of those things that you really wanted to be able to prioritise?
00:12:03.524 --> 00:12:09.044
Yeah, it is such a relief and just like so much more joy in my own day to day.
00:12:09.504 --> 00:12:13.575
Um, it's definitely slow work in progress where I'm learning what it takes.
00:12:13.605 --> 00:12:24.365
Um, and it, it took a lot of work to get to this point where even once I realized I need to hand things more things off, it's not an, it's not like tomorrow things are just handed off.
00:12:24.365 --> 00:12:24.524
It's.
00:12:24.750 --> 00:12:30.039
Like you have to find, for me at least, it was finding the right people, building trust with those people.
00:12:30.379 --> 00:12:33.480
Um, luckily we already had some people on our team who were in great positions for that.
00:12:33.500 --> 00:12:42.279
Um, and then figuring out what systems to put in place so that they can have the ownership that I want them to have, but I still have the comfort of knowing things are going well.
00:12:42.669 --> 00:12:47.190
Um, and so there's a lot of work that goes into building those systems too.
00:12:47.580 --> 00:12:51.039
But now that we are a few months into that, I, it's.
00:12:51.664 --> 00:13:08.735
improve my days like a thousand percent where I really enjoy and look forward to like every day getting to start work and every day, um, hearing from the people who do have those ownership, that ownership now and how things are going and how they're feeling and growth in their own careers, which is really exciting.
00:13:10.014 --> 00:13:10.845
Beautiful.
00:13:11.674 --> 00:13:17.725
Um, we, we have spoken a little bit about, um, about channels.
00:13:18.519 --> 00:13:30.110
And I wonder if we can just go back to that, um, uh, topic that I'm really passionate about and interested in right now is social wealth and how we build social wealth into our, into our lives.
00:13:30.110 --> 00:13:34.009
And one of the foundational pillars is personal expression.
00:13:34.250 --> 00:13:38.120
So it's finding ways that we feel able to express ourselves.
00:13:38.345 --> 00:13:40.134
Authentically fully.
00:13:40.514 --> 00:13:59.845
Um, yeah, I wonder, I wonder if you want to speak to that about any of the ways that you found you feel really natural because being a founder of a company, you don't necessarily prepare yourself to be at the spokesperson at different and like, where's your comfort levels in terms of being that being that the face of Sundays.
00:14:00.715 --> 00:14:03.044
Yeah, um, it's really interesting.
00:14:03.054 --> 00:14:09.914
I think when I come from a product background, and so I really hadn't done any sort of like marketing before starting Sundays.
00:14:09.955 --> 00:14:24.884
Um, and I, at first I was not prepared, but the more that I got into it, the more I realized, like, you kind of have to be your company a little bit, at least in the beginning, because if you don't tell people what's happening, like what you're working on, no one is going to find it.
00:14:24.924 --> 00:14:34.475
Um, and I think, especially people who have like a product or engineering background, a lot of us come in thinking like, I will build this great thing and people will love it and they'll buy it.
00:14:34.735 --> 00:14:37.315
Um, that's not actually how it works because people can't.
00:14:37.690 --> 00:14:39.820
love it and buy it if they don't know that it exists.
00:14:39.899 --> 00:14:43.919
Um, and so there's this process of helping people find, like, find out that it exists.
00:14:43.950 --> 00:15:08.110
Um, and I, what I really love, I think my also a mindset shift I made was I was like afraid to do sales and marketing because it felt like very sale y and I think a lot of us don't like Being sold to, um, but a reframe, I think that's been really helpful for me is thinking of it more as, um, helping people who have a problem, find a solution to their problem.
00:15:08.110 --> 00:15:13.740
So I'm not trying to convince people that this is the, that don't have this problem, that they need it.
00:15:13.740 --> 00:15:21.580
It's mostly finding people who already are suffering from this problem and trying to help them find the right solution, whether that's working with us or setting their own systems or something like that.
00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:24.169
Um, and so.
00:15:25.279 --> 00:15:27.299
I went through a big journey of learning marketing.
00:15:27.320 --> 00:15:33.909
At one point I literally would have in my days, like a block that said do marketing, and then I would get there and be like, Oh my gosh, what do I do?
00:15:34.350 --> 00:15:38.769
And, and I started experimenting with different ways to get the word out.
00:15:39.090 --> 00:15:41.929
Um, and ended up focusing on LinkedIn.
00:15:41.960 --> 00:15:46.110
Um, basically I did these like short two week experiments and a few different channels.
00:15:46.129 --> 00:15:48.809
Um, and LinkedIn was the place where.
00:15:49.090 --> 00:16:06.205
I could get the fastest feedback and also, um, LinkedIn, I really like because you start with a network of people who already know you personally and that you've spent years probably developing relationships with and, um, whether they're a customer or not they're generally supportive of you, um, Doing this work.
00:16:06.414 --> 00:16:14.274
I hope, I think maybe you found this as well, where people are just like, wow, that's really cool that someone I've known for years is like going out on their own.
00:16:14.945 --> 00:16:19.534
Um, and so, yeah, what I, and LinkedIn has been a journey.
00:16:19.534 --> 00:16:22.945
I started just like, I'm going to post every day for two weeks and see what happens.
00:16:22.995 --> 00:16:27.835
Um, And got really positive feedback just in that quick, uh, quick experiment.
00:16:27.845 --> 00:16:32.985
And then now, um, it is our, by far our main marketing channel for Sundays.
00:16:32.995 --> 00:16:37.774
So, um, I post, I try to post every weekday and then I don't look at it.
00:16:37.924 --> 00:16:39.934
I don't look at it at all on the weekends.
00:16:40.725 --> 00:16:57.764
And, um, And then have developed kind of a marketing strategy around, um, the types of things that I post, but also I personally write every single thing that is that we put out there and, um, take a lot of pride in making sure that it.
00:16:58.299 --> 00:17:00.320
Feels like it's coming from me personally.
00:17:00.330 --> 00:17:02.340
And that has led to connect.
00:17:02.340 --> 00:17:19.039
I think I was telling you before we started recording that, um, it's, it is blown me away how many amazing people I've been able to connect with through LinkedIn and build, um, what at this point feel like long term relationships with people that I just met on the internet, which I had never had an experience with before.
00:17:20.525 --> 00:17:21.085
Beautiful.
00:17:21.115 --> 00:17:26.075
And yeah, I have a note on my fridge, no email or LinkedIn at the weekends.
00:17:26.575 --> 00:17:29.285
So I'm the same as you and that's it.
00:17:29.295 --> 00:17:35.444
We have to play with these, not only these kinds of tests for different social platforms, but boundaries.
00:17:35.660 --> 00:17:45.329
on ourselves because as business owners, it can be all consuming and like the tendency, the temptation to just check your phone and just this and just that.
00:17:45.329 --> 00:17:51.630
But, uh, yeah, like you, I know that I need that decompression over the weekend, particularly.
00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:55.210
Um, I do sometimes try and do it from say four o'clock in the morning.
00:17:55.609 --> 00:17:56.869
weekdays as well.
00:17:56.869 --> 00:18:00.509
So I can be really present with my kids once they're home from school.
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:08.069
Um, and just, yeah, testing and feeling into what actually makes us feel healthy and recharge, recharge.
00:18:08.069 --> 00:18:15.809
So the next day when we, we're ready to start again, we're actually ready to start again because we have had that conscious pause.
00:18:16.309 --> 00:18:16.490
Yeah.
00:18:16.630 --> 00:18:18.299
I think it makes so much difference.
00:18:18.299 --> 00:18:25.049
I actually have this, I have this sticky note that says end the day on my, um, desk and that's something I've been working on.
00:18:25.724 --> 00:18:34.474
And I think I've gotten better at is just like on a, um, day to day basis of like, actually like the, the to do list is never ending.
00:18:34.474 --> 00:18:36.174
It will always be there tomorrow.
00:18:36.214 --> 00:18:40.375
Um, but giving myself the time back on a daily basis to really.
00:18:40.654 --> 00:18:44.305
Reset and be able to come the next day with energy.
00:18:44.315 --> 00:18:47.444
Cause I think for a while I would work, I would just keep working all night.
00:18:47.464 --> 00:18:54.424
And sometimes maybe there's a big project where you need to push through for that, but, um, you don't need to do that every day.
00:18:54.424 --> 00:18:57.954
And being able to actually, I think energy is our most valuable resource.
00:18:57.964 --> 00:19:00.535
So, um, figuring out what it takes to.
00:19:00.894 --> 00:19:05.335
recharge and be able to start Energized is really valuable.
00:19:06.984 --> 00:19:13.634
And just thinking about the topic of time, like what kind of feedback are you getting from clients?
00:19:13.684 --> 00:19:17.394
Like how, because this is such a new service, what are your clients saying?
00:19:18.105 --> 00:19:28.105
I think that the biggest thing that we help people do is, is reduce their mental load where they can just like give something to us, and we can take it and run with it and they're like okay.
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:32.130
Shelby has this handled now, uh, and that's really valuable.
00:19:32.529 --> 00:19:42.085
And also, I think people who work best with us kind of loop us in really regularly to their day to day so they'll send us like a text message on a daily basis.
00:19:42.365 --> 00:19:50.444
The like just kind of forward things to us throughout the day and then we set up times to check in with them and be like okay tell it let's talk through like, is this a priority.
00:19:50.875 --> 00:19:53.934
Um, one thing last week, I was really excited.
00:19:53.954 --> 00:19:57.575
Um, one of our clients started a new executive role.
00:19:57.575 --> 00:20:03.505
And one of, one of my big goals is to help get more moms into leadership roles, because I think that's how we can reshape how, how we work.
00:20:03.519 --> 00:20:06.609
Society overall thinks about balancing family and work.
00:20:06.670 --> 00:20:13.299
Um, so we had a client who has been prepping to start this new leadership role for a couple of months and working with the person on our team.
00:20:13.710 --> 00:20:16.950
Um, and she has three kids, they live in Manhattan.
00:20:16.970 --> 00:20:19.869
Each of the kids does like three activities every week.
00:20:19.869 --> 00:20:28.450
And so, um, normally the mom is like super involved in planning that and has that kind of running in the back of her mind every day.
00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:33.539
And she called us last week in her first week of work and said, I haven't had to think about the kids at all.
00:20:33.549 --> 00:20:41.839
Like I'm so confident that you have it handled for me that I feel really good and really confident in my first week of work, which I thought was really fun.
00:20:41.940 --> 00:20:42.710
Amazing.
00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:47.480
So, um, yeah, I guess what, what's, what's next for you?
00:20:47.599 --> 00:20:56.559
Like, what's your, what's the next big thing that, um, that is really gonna help you to thrive personally or professionally?
00:20:56.930 --> 00:21:03.609
Um, knowing all what you have learned up till now, is there something that That you're striving for.
00:21:04.410 --> 00:21:05.029
Yeah.
00:21:05.089 --> 00:21:06.490
Um, that is a good question.
00:21:06.490 --> 00:21:10.089
I I'm expecting my first in early next year.
00:21:10.089 --> 00:21:19.420
And so a lot of what I'm thinking about now on the personal side is like how to use more of these systems that I've been learning from all of these other amazing parents.
00:21:19.420 --> 00:21:22.380
And we've been building for the parents we work with in my own life.
00:21:22.450 --> 00:21:29.339
It's it's just so interesting to see all of the components already that, um, I'm thinking about differently than I was before.
00:21:29.369 --> 00:21:30.730
Um, so.
00:21:31.349 --> 00:21:37.180
Yeah, trying to figure out the right systems for our family going forward, which has been really fun.
00:21:37.279 --> 00:21:57.434
Something I did at the beginning of, um, This delegation period I've been in was I did this thing called a time and energy audit and basically for a couple of days I tracked what I would do what I was doing every 15 minutes and I would just like write a list of it and then at the end, um, wrote like How does this affect my energy?
00:21:57.434 --> 00:21:59.625
Like, does it give me energy or does it take away energy?
00:21:59.625 --> 00:22:06.825
And then, um, how valuable is this in terms of like, how important is this, um, either to the company or to my personal life?
00:22:06.825 --> 00:22:19.664
And, um, that kind of gives you these quadrants where you end up with like things that are important for you to do, things that are important, but somebody else can help you with, um, and then things that maybe you can just.
00:22:19.744 --> 00:22:31.295
Um, and so I think that was a really interesting check in for me personally of like what, whether my time was aligned with what I wanted to be doing.
00:22:31.345 --> 00:22:44.265
Um, and I hope to continue doing that on like a quarterly basis or something to figure out as business and family evolves, which areas I want to lean into and lean out of more.
00:22:45.125 --> 00:22:45.634
Yeah.
00:22:45.684 --> 00:22:47.974
I love that time and energy audit.
00:22:47.974 --> 00:23:13.799
I Um, I have something similar like a joy o meter and we'll do it for spending time with people and it's like some people are very time poor and it's like well what about if you just go around for a 30 minute coffee like would that be a worthwhile commute and time with each other or are you better off saving that time in the time bank and then catching up for a couple of hours and having a more deep dive interaction.
00:23:13.799 --> 00:23:14.332
Jen.
00:23:14.332 --> 00:23:14.865
Jen.
00:23:15.065 --> 00:23:20.275
And then with my kids, I do it with money, like they get, um, they get money for when they read books.
00:23:20.765 --> 00:23:21.585
They'll get a dollar.
00:23:21.954 --> 00:23:23.714
So encouraging them to read.
00:23:23.775 --> 00:23:28.595
And then when they go to spend the money, it's like, okay, let's think about how much joy you're going to get out of that thing.
00:23:28.595 --> 00:23:38.265
Like they just bought this little motorbike thing and it's like, not, not, wasn't very expensive, but like thinking, are you going to get the value out of that in comparison to these other things?
00:23:38.575 --> 00:23:39.974
And yeah, I love that.
00:23:39.984 --> 00:23:49.494
The idea of, um, really analyzing that and make more intentional choices of our time and, um, and investment as well.
00:23:50.075 --> 00:23:51.035
Really like that.
00:23:51.275 --> 00:23:51.934
Um, yeah.
00:23:51.934 --> 00:24:10.444
Thinking on that, is there, is there another tool that you could share with busy moms out there that are really struggling to do it all, that could, they could think about either outsourcing something or doing something a different way, um, to help relieve that time pressure?
00:24:11.424 --> 00:24:13.015
Yeah, that's a great question.
00:24:13.075 --> 00:24:15.025
Um, I think that.
00:24:15.990 --> 00:24:21.359
Other things that I've seen, I think it's just like building systems that work for your family.
00:24:21.710 --> 00:24:36.500
Um, so one thing in particular, and we do this a few ways, but, um, like meal planning is one of those things that is constantly, um, on parents minds as, as they live their lives and eat and try to get their kids to eat too.
00:24:36.940 --> 00:24:42.160
Um, and so I think figuring out a meal planning system that works for your family, that is.
00:24:42.470 --> 00:24:44.579
Fast is something that's really valuable.
00:24:44.579 --> 00:24:53.690
So we, some families we work with will have very particular meal planning needs and we will like do spreadsheets with them where we're like, okay, are we getting all of the macros that you want it or something like that?
00:24:54.079 --> 00:25:04.559
Um, but then for most families, I think there are a lot of, there's like great apps out there that can actually do a lot of the meal planning for you, where you upload your own recipes and you build a plan for the week.
00:25:05.470 --> 00:25:10.230
Order groceries and, um, those can be really, those can really save a lot of time.
00:25:10.230 --> 00:25:13.589
So we use an app called maple, um, pretty frequently for that.
00:25:13.640 --> 00:25:21.849
Um, there are others that might have different needs, but I think figuring out even like one small system that works for your family can be really, really helpful.
00:25:22.269 --> 00:25:25.359
Um, other things we're trying to do are build out like.
00:25:26.029 --> 00:25:30.700
Um, guides or checklists where we think of like everything you might need to think of.
00:25:30.710 --> 00:25:37.730
So we have one that we built for Halloween, where we were like, here are all the things that go into making sure your family is ready for Halloween.
00:25:37.809 --> 00:25:43.180
And it's like, it's brainstorm costumes, think about like face paint.
00:25:43.259 --> 00:25:52.700
Um, but also like make sure that you check the weather and you have a backup outfit in case, um, in case it ends up not being, not being good weather or like look for routes.
00:25:52.730 --> 00:25:54.390
Um, so those are things where.
00:25:55.255 --> 00:25:58.545
We're trying to identify everything that you need to do so you don't have to think about it.
00:25:58.545 --> 00:26:02.615
I think it's like that free thinking actually takes a lot of energy.
00:26:02.615 --> 00:26:09.694
A lot of times, like actually executing the tasks is not as time intensive as, um, as remembering all these things you need to do.
00:26:09.714 --> 00:26:21.335
So, um, for us, we think building out these systems of, of processes you do every time you run into the holidays or every time you run into summer camp planning can save a lot of time.
00:26:21.970 --> 00:26:22.710
So good.
00:26:22.769 --> 00:26:23.289
So good.
00:26:23.589 --> 00:26:30.329
And we did get into a habit of, um, family meetings when we lived at the eco village.
00:26:30.369 --> 00:26:34.789
So there they would do it every Friday was like a heart circle.
00:26:35.009 --> 00:26:37.069
So we got into the habit of doing that.
00:26:37.349 --> 00:26:39.420
I think weekly became a bit.
00:26:40.005 --> 00:26:44.785
too regular for such a formal meeting, um, with the family.
00:26:44.785 --> 00:26:51.914
So we still have like breakfast on a Sunday and we'll kind of have a bit of a, um, uh, routine when that happens.
00:26:52.234 --> 00:27:06.815
Um, but yeah, otherwise, when you were talking about the meal planning, like our system in our house, which has just evolved naturally, I always do the grocery shopping and then my partner will like see what I bought and then he'll do a meal plan based on what is there.
00:27:06.904 --> 00:27:12.954
So kind of the other way around to the apps of like going to buy things, but that seems to work for us.
00:27:13.005 --> 00:27:16.134
Um, yeah, he's the, he's the key chef in our house.
00:27:16.134 --> 00:27:17.125
I'm the commis chef.
00:27:17.575 --> 00:27:17.855
So.
00:27:18.384 --> 00:27:18.954
I love it.
00:27:19.035 --> 00:27:19.515
Yeah.
00:27:19.605 --> 00:27:19.855
Yeah.
00:27:19.855 --> 00:27:20.744
I think that makes a lot of sense.
00:27:20.775 --> 00:27:26.684
And people, sometimes it's just like some people just have like a whiteboard that they use, but having that system that works makes sense.
00:27:26.714 --> 00:27:28.815
And I love the weekly meeting as well.
00:27:29.184 --> 00:27:39.095
Um, We right now we don't do as much of the like coaching on changing your behavior, although that is a big shift that we see most successful families do.
00:27:39.134 --> 00:27:43.484
Um, and I think the, the weekly meeting is really interesting.
00:27:43.484 --> 00:27:44.835
I have done that with my partner.
00:27:45.355 --> 00:27:51.204
On occasion, but we struggled to do it on the weekend because we were like, we really just want to be relaxed for the weekend.
00:27:51.744 --> 00:27:55.005
Um, but then sometimes the week feels super busy to get it in.
00:27:55.005 --> 00:28:02.835
So, um, but a lot of families that I know, and also a lot of families who are able to successfully outsource do this kind of planning between themselves.
00:28:02.845 --> 00:28:07.914
So they know what their priorities are and they can identify things that are not as good of a use of their time.
00:28:09.549 --> 00:28:24.660
Yeah, I just, one thing that's coming up, when we did have one of those weekly meetings, when we moved, um, back to Langford, uh, the school that my daughter goes to, they don't allow Pokémon in the school, like, there's just no, nothing against Pokémon, they just don't allow toys.
00:28:25.210 --> 00:28:25.430
Got it.
00:28:25.430 --> 00:28:33.519
And my daughter, they used to, they used to trade Pokémon cards at her old school, so she was like, really sad that she didn't get a chance to like, use this big collection of cards.
00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:35.670
So we were like, okay, let's launch a Pokemon club.
00:28:35.680 --> 00:28:37.880
But that came up in one of those family meetings.
00:28:37.890 --> 00:28:46.009
It's like, is there anything that's, anything that's come up for you that you just want to like share with us and like a really kind kind of invitation to share?
00:28:46.210 --> 00:28:54.470
So those kinds of things come to the surface then it's like, it's giving the space, giving the invitation to share, um, can be really revealing.
00:28:55.269 --> 00:28:55.900
Yeah.
00:28:55.940 --> 00:28:56.529
Super interesting.
00:28:56.529 --> 00:28:58.880
And how do you involve the kids in the meeting usually?
00:28:59.515 --> 00:29:04.714
Um, yeah, so we, so we all sit in a four and we use something as a talking stick.
00:29:05.144 --> 00:29:15.174
So, and this came from the eco village, so we would take turns and we would say, maybe we'd start by saying something we're grateful for to kind of just get the flow of conversation moving around.
00:29:15.265 --> 00:29:18.095
And then we'll say, is there anything coming up for you?
00:29:18.125 --> 00:29:23.855
Anything that, that happened that was great this week or anything that wasn't so great or anything that you just want to share.
00:29:24.134 --> 00:29:27.505
And then we'll just take turns talking and just see what kind of naturally comes.
00:29:28.779 --> 00:29:29.309
I love it.
00:29:29.910 --> 00:29:30.599
That's really great.
00:29:32.299 --> 00:29:43.140
Is there anything that you haven't shared today that you think I can't leave this conversation before sharing this with whoever might choose to listen to this conversation?
00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:50.410
I think that what we've been talking about is just like the value of, of time and, and energy.
00:29:50.410 --> 00:29:58.279
And I think that, um, what I've seen from a lot of the most successful families I've worked with are that they.
00:29:59.190 --> 00:30:28.664
give themselves permission to value their own time, um, and, and yeah, pay for time back if that's what is needed, um, or figure out a system between themselves where they get some time back, um, for personal time and for family time, um, and I think just, It's okay to value your own time and to, um, and to use that to do whatever connection you need.
00:30:28.704 --> 00:30:34.755
So, um, if anybody is looking for a little bit of permission, please take permission from me.
00:30:34.835 --> 00:30:43.845
Um, and even if it's just to experiment with that and see how, um, how it works for you and how you might want to evolve it over time, I think that, um, it's.
00:30:44.650 --> 00:30:45.480
It's so valuable.
00:30:47.200 --> 00:30:48.759
Well said, well said.
00:30:48.759 --> 00:31:14.954
And I guess on this, in the same breath, like what I'm doing is helping people to reconnect with friends, with Connections that maybe were a big part of their past and with technology, what it is today, there's really no reason why they can't be a part of our current present, if indeed there is that alignment, maybe you're at the same stage, maybe you're both having children at the same time and you haven't been connected for a while.
00:31:14.964 --> 00:31:20.744
So I'm helping people to find ways to reconnect and really rekindle some of those really nourishing.
00:31:21.109 --> 00:31:33.390
Um, relationships in their lives, but time again is a big reason why that comes up again and again, why we're not doing this, especially if we're, you know, high achieving business people.
00:31:33.390 --> 00:31:38.450
And we've invested so much in the business and financial wealth.
00:31:38.700 --> 00:31:46.720
Unfortunately, that, that comes as sometimes neglecting our social wealth and our social well being.
00:31:46.730 --> 00:31:53.920
So having some of that time back to reinvest into the relationships that matter can really serve our present and our future selves.
00:31:55.525 --> 00:31:56.845
I love Ashley, it's so important.
00:31:56.884 --> 00:31:57.904
It's all linked in.
00:31:59.444 --> 00:32:04.194
Well, it was so beautiful getting to know you a bit more, Ashley, and I wish you every success.
00:32:04.214 --> 00:32:05.414
I'm excited for this.
00:32:05.414 --> 00:32:11.785
I'm excited to share this with so many busy moms and dads that I know that could benefit from having this kind of service.
00:32:11.795 --> 00:32:16.525
So yeah, really excited to see what, to see where your journey, where your journey goes.
00:32:16.535 --> 00:32:17.535
Congratulations.
00:32:18.765 --> 00:32:19.444
so much, Shelly.
00:32:19.454 --> 00:32:24.130
And I really appreciate you having me, um, I think these conversations are so valuable.
00:32:24.430 --> 00:32:26.930
So recommend listening to all the rest of them too.
