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Is your kid aggressive, disruptive, always getting into trouble? Are they labelled defiant, non-compliant, challenging? Do you dread another phone call from school? Wondering what happened this time. But what if those behaviours aren't the problem at all?
Today I'm joined by Tyler Baldwin, a trauma-informed NVR practitioner. We're talking about aggression, school refusal, violence, boundaries, and one simple question: What the f**k do you do if you've ever felt like nothing you've tried is working?
This episode could change the way you see your child.
EPISODE REVEALS
Non‑Violent Resistance (NVR) helps parents, teachers and carers de‑escalate when kids get frustrated and aggressive, without becoming aggressive or violent themselves.
You can't control a child's behaviour, but you can control your own presence, your consistency, and your own response.
For many neurodivergent kids, the punish‑punish‑punish approach doesn’t work and often makes things worse.
Small daily habits change brains. The 1% tweaks you make under pressure in tone, posture, body language and that pause before reacting gradually rewire your patterns and shift your child’s behaviour.
Boundaries work when they’re calm, pre‑decided, and consistently followed through, not when they’re shouted in the heat of the moment.
Explain things. If someone doesn't understand a rule, they are going to push back.
You don’t have to deal with every issue in the moment. Your first job is safety and regulation be that through breathing, stepping away or calming your body. Teaching or consequences can wait until you’re both calm.
It’s okay to say, “We’re going to talk about this later,” and come back hours or even days afterwards. The behaviour is still addressed, just at a time when your child is calm enough to really learn.
BEST MOMENTS
“My role was running an intervention, hopefully getting parents to de-escalate situations as opposed to escalate them, build the relationship, and keep those kids at home as opposed to sending them into care."
"If there's one thing that you go into with any interaction, what is the unmet need here, and what can I do about it?"
"Regulate yourself first, connect before you correct. Look beyond the behaviour because behaviour is communication. "
ABOUT THE GUEST
http://www.stay-grounded.co.uk/
RESOURCES
Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD
What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you:
CLIFF´S SERVICES
Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister
CONTACT ME
Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08
https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister
X - @KilmisterCliff
https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD
HOST BIO
Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!
This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
