WEBVTT
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Welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable
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Connections. The show where relationships don't
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just expand your network, they expand your influence.
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I'm your host, Michael Foreman. And today we're
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talking about a shift many professionals want,
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but don't always understand. Moving from being
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present in a room to being someone actually remembered
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after a room empties. My guest... has walked
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the path from professional to author to leader.
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And along that journey, something interesting
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happens. A book doesn't just share ideas, it
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changes conversations. It changes how people
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approach you, what they ask you, and the kinds
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of opportunities that start finding you. We're
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diving into how storytelling builds trust, how
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relationships fuel business growth and why leadership
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is often formed through conversations long before
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it's recognized by title. If you want your connections
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to carry more meaning and your voice to carry
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more influence, you're in the right place. So
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I'd like to welcome to my podcast, Kay. Kay,
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I've been really waiting for this podcast because
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I'm very interested in what you have to say.
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But why don't you give us just the click notes
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of how you got where you are today? Thank you,
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Michael. It's a privilege and an honor to be
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here with you today. And first of all, I want
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to thank you for your service. My honor. How
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I got here today. Yes, we're going to do the
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Cliff Notes, the short version. I've been in
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business for quite some time. And all that time,
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I've been a writer. I've actually been a writer
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since I was a kid. In my business, North Star
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Marketing, I very early on became keenly aware
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of the value of a book. And we'll get into that
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story, but I'll tell you about two books that
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I wrote early on that literally made me millions,
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not in the way that you might suspect or expect,
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but in a very powerful way that I think your
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audience will appreciate and may learn a few
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tips from. But I'm an entrepreneur at heart,
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always looking for the opportunity to grow the
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business, to grow through personal and professional
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development. And really, I'm also a teacher at
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heart. I love helping people learn. I love to
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help people move into the next phase, to the
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next level of what is really their next growth
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phase, if you will. Those are the things that
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make my heart hum, the things that make me happy.
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Sounds wonderful. That really does sound great.
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All right, so let's get into it. How does becoming
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an author change the way people approach you?
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And how should you intentionally use that shift
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in your networking? That is such a great question,
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Michael. And the shift is incredible. So when
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I was early on in my business in North Star Marketing,
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And because I've always been a writer, I decided
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it was a great idea to write a book. And my subject
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matter has always been marketing. I'm a quote
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-unquote marketing expert for authors now and
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also for business owners and C -suite executives.
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But my first book came to me when I realized
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that the CEOs and the top level executives that
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I was working with, the clients that our agency
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had, did not really understand marketing. They
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knew it was something out there related to getting
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their products in the market. But what they really
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wanted was to get the sale. Could we just get
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the sale? I don't know what this marketing stuff
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is. Could we just get to the sale? So one day
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I realized I was working with a CEO, very large
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food company. And he said to me, he said, so
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what is it with this marketing stuff anyway?
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And I'm like, OK, so you don't really get marketing.
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No, I don't know. So that day after my staff
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left, I was at the office and I thought, I think
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I see a pattern here. I see something that's
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common in the marketplace. It's a problem. CEOs.
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Top level executives don't understand marketing.
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They understand sales because that has a dollar
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sign at the beginning of the word, but they don't
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understand the role marketing and branding play.
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So I set about to educate my clients. And that
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day after my staff left was quiet. I sat down
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and I wrote out the 10 power principles of marketing.
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And those power principles of marketing then
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became something that I taught to every client
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that we worked with. And those clients then shared
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them with other CEOs with other small business
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owners with other influencers. And then I began
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getting speaking engagements and was on the stage.
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And then, duh, it was time for the book. So I
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did it backwards. I didn't do the book. I did
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the book after. But I took time. And every Friday
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for three months, every Friday morning for three
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months, for three, about three or four hours,
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I sat down and I worked on the book. So I got
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the first book out, The Power Principles of Marketing.
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I self -published it. That was before, just shortly
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before KDP. So I self -published it the hard
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way. And I have a picture of me and my staff
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putting books in boxes to send to our list, to
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mail to our list of CEOs and business owners.
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That book got a lot of attention. And the subsequent
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book, which was titled The CEO's Little Black
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Book on Branding, got a lot of attention. It
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got an International Design Award. And the speaking
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engagements, the book, were like a golden ticket.
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And I would speak to a group of business owners.
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And about three weeks later, a month later, I
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get a phone call from the VP of marketing saying,
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CEO heard you speak, wants us to work with you.
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And then we signed up marketing projects and
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campaigns. relationships and it was amazing that's
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how it all begins that's that's how it all begins
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and you did it actually you say you did it in
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reverse order but actually that's the way that
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it should happen i'm a professional speaker and
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everybody thinks oh you write a book first that'll
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get you to credibility and then you can go on
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stages when actually No, it's not. The book really
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doesn't. I use my first book, The Networking
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Book, almost like a business card. And I don't
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even, I don't charge for it unless they buy it
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on Amazon. But you did it the right way. So don't
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think you did it in reverse order. You did it
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pretty well. Okay. Thank you. By default. I close
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them as I seize them. Okay. So during your author's
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journey. What relationship proved most valuable
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to your growth? And what did that connection
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matter more than others? Say the first part of
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that question again. During your author's journey.
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Okay, during my author's journey. What relationship
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proved most valuable to your growth? And why
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did that connection matter more than others?
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So my author's journey started early. It started
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with the two books that I just described. They
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were nonfiction books. And I think the relationship
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that mattered the most in that phase, in that
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time, was through the CEO peer group. I was in
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a CEO peer group at that time, and the leader
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of our CEO peer group was connected around the
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country. through their network. So that was the
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Vistage group, if you're familiar with them.
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And it was that relationship with him and his
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belief in me and in the work and the content
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that I was delivering, the persona that I have
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on stage, the ability to have a presence on stage,
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and as you said at the beginning, to be memorable
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after. But his belief in me, I think, was probably
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the most important thing. Because when you start,
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when you have material that is not tested, when
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you're in a speaking format and you're testing
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different things, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes
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you fall flat on your face and you always need
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someone to pick you up. And he was often the
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guy who picked me up. Everybody needs that one
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person that they can always turn to, but is always
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there, hook, line and sinker, without even thinking
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they're there. So you're very fortunate that
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you have that person. Many professionals want
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visibility. What's the difference between attention
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and influence and when you're building relationships?
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So interesting question, attention and influence.
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Now, if you're familiar with Dr. Robert Cialdini,
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he is the godfather of influence. And he has
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the seven rules of persuasion and influence.
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And so there's a science behind influence. There's
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a science behind how you go about creating presence,
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charisma, reciprocity, all the laws of influence
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that are like physical laws of gravity, right?
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They are real. They're ethereal, but they're
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real. They actually work. They impact relationships
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and connections and networks. Attention is what
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is given. Influence is what you design and actually
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create. So like Dr. Cialdini's work, if you study
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the science, And all influencers, whether they
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call themselves influencers or are influencers
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because they earned the right to be, because
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of their work, their expertise, their experience,
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would do well to study those laws because the
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laws that Dr. Cialdini discovered and then packaged
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will guide people. And I would say... Michael
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to especially to younger parts of your audience
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that these laws of influence are timeless they
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bring wisdom that is lasting and so to be able
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to understand them and then implement them is
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a valuable extremely valuable way to up your
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influence not in a manipulation but in an understanding
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of the way that the laws work. Very interesting.
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Very interesting. As your business grew, how
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did you decide which relationships to invest
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in more time? Let me try that again because I
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misread that completely. As your business grew,
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how did you decide which relationships to invest
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more time in and which ones to release? Wow.
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That is a loaded question. Yeah, it is. And I
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have to say, Michael, especially loaded question
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for me because I was a single mother of two,
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divorced. had a new business that was growing
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like fire, wildfire, and I had some really tough,
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hard decisions to make related to I was speaking,
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I was on the road, I had clients, I was on the
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road, I was flying, I was doing crazy things
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like that. All things that are great things to
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grow a business, but as a mother, create some
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real considerations. So one of my criteria at
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that time as things were growing was that I would
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not be away overnight unless I absolutely had
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to. And so in some ways that may have been detrimental
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in terms of I was very careful about the conferences
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that I would go to if I wasn't speaking there.
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I was very careful about. Those kinds of opportunities
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that might have opened doors or might have created
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a broader network. My consideration was my kids,
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right? My kids and the business and balancing
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that tension, if you will, was not easy. It was
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a difficult time. I made some difficult decisions,
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but I learned the 10 -10 -10 rule. You want to
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know what the 10 -10 -10 rule is? Sure. So making
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decisions, I look at who is most impacted by
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this decision and what would that impact be like
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on them in 10 days, in 10 months, and in 10 years.
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So sometimes when I had to say no to a client
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because of a consideration for my family, my
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kids, I knew that in 10 days, the client wouldn't
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care. In 10 months, the client wouldn't care.
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And in 10 years, certainly the client would never
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even remember it. And so that became a really
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good guiding point for me, was to keep that longer
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-term perspective about where the impact of my
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decisions really landed. Yeah, I went through
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almost the same thing. But when I became a professional
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speaker, I started going on stages and everything
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else. I did that later in life. I did it after
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my kids were already married off. So that kind
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of opened up that time for me. But I still am
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cognizant of the time because my wife is still
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home. You know, so I'm not going to go off for
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every other week or every other day because.
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I want to spend time with my wife. So I make
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that same type of decision judging how much time
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I spend away. I do. Okay. What networking habits
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separate leaders who attract opportunities from
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those who constantly chase them? Yes. So this
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is really interesting in the age of Zoom, right?
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What I am teaching authors now who are on their
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author journey is I'm teaching them about visibility.
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You need visibility to be successful. You need
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visibility for attracting clients and sales.
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You need visibility for AI to build a digital
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footprint for you so that you're found, right?
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Because if you're not visible, you're not viable.
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But here's what I also know to be true. The next
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step after visibility is proximity. And proximity
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is the most powerful. Now you are on stage as
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a professional speaker. You have proximity to
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an audience. When we are on Zoom, the Virtual
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proximity is of an entirely different sort. It
00:17:10.130 --> 00:17:14.049
has an entirely different nature to it. You don't
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rub elbows with someone at the back of the room
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or down the hall. You don't have that opportunity
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to wait in line to speak to somebody. You have
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a completely different set of rules, shall we
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say. Some of the basics are all the same, of
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course. But what I'm really studying and working
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with authors now is how do you begin to create
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proximity in the virtual age and in the age of
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AI? And proximity becomes so important in the
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age of AI because there is so much fakery and
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proximity. brings us together we are rubbing
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elbows we are getting to know people in a different
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way in a way that engages vulnerability and authenticity
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getting to know each other at a deeper level
00:18:13.150 --> 00:18:17.609
and so it's a very interesting construct to think
00:18:17.609 --> 00:18:20.269
about how do i get to know you michael when you
00:18:20.269 --> 00:18:26.579
are a square on the screen And I am in an abstract
00:18:26.579 --> 00:18:32.079
place. And yet we have probably many things to
00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:35.380
talk about and to connect on and also to share,
00:18:35.619 --> 00:18:38.700
to have a connection, to be part of a network,
00:18:38.819 --> 00:18:43.019
to be able to help each other further your work,
00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:47.400
my work. And yet we are two squares on a screen.
00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:54.210
Absolutely. You brought AI into it, and that's
00:18:54.210 --> 00:18:59.089
all part of Zoom, because AI does the minutia,
00:18:59.150 --> 00:19:02.049
the small work, everything else. One thing it
00:19:02.049 --> 00:19:05.910
can't replace or can't perform is the emotion
00:19:05.910 --> 00:19:11.710
behind each person. So as you said, I'm talking
00:19:11.710 --> 00:19:15.549
to a screen. I'm not talking to a room. And I
00:19:15.549 --> 00:19:19.279
can't pick up your vibe. I can't pick up the
00:19:19.279 --> 00:19:22.900
vibe of the room. And that's a huge thing because
00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:25.900
I have to feel that because that's what keeps
00:19:25.900 --> 00:19:29.000
me. That's what gets me pumped and everything
00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:31.599
else. So I pick up the vibe of the room, but
00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:35.759
I don't have any of that. I have you as a small
00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:40.319
square on a Zoom call. And I have to remember,
00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:44.849
A, you're still a person. behind the square.
00:19:45.150 --> 00:19:48.910
So I have to figure out how can I make up for
00:19:48.910 --> 00:19:54.509
some of that? But AI can't do that because it's
00:19:54.509 --> 00:19:58.470
void of all emotion. So I can't use it. So it's
00:19:58.470 --> 00:20:00.809
all up to me. It's all up to the person. And
00:20:00.809 --> 00:20:04.329
that's one thing that AI will never replace the
00:20:04.329 --> 00:20:07.369
person. Make them really close to it because
00:20:07.369 --> 00:20:10.309
they look pretty good, but they can't replace
00:20:10.309 --> 00:20:15.069
us. Okay. And to that point, Michael, what we
00:20:15.069 --> 00:20:18.230
need to do is we need to be really cognizant
00:20:18.230 --> 00:20:21.970
of our energy. Like when we are in the square,
00:20:22.130 --> 00:20:25.410
right? We need to have this energy and presence
00:20:25.410 --> 00:20:28.910
that's bigger than the square. We need to use
00:20:28.910 --> 00:20:33.609
all of our voice. We need to use everything that
00:20:33.609 --> 00:20:36.910
we can't because we're in the square, not on
00:20:36.910 --> 00:20:41.150
the stage. Absolutely. Right behind you. Okay.
00:20:41.190 --> 00:20:45.789
What role does storytelling play in helping people
00:20:45.789 --> 00:20:53.009
trust you faster when they first meet you? Storytelling
00:20:53.009 --> 00:20:59.009
is the most important skill. A professional,
00:20:59.089 --> 00:21:04.170
an executive, an owner, a CEO can learn storytelling.
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:09.579
because storytelling is as old as the caveman.
00:21:09.859 --> 00:21:13.779
The caveman did it with grunts and signals and
00:21:13.779 --> 00:21:16.619
all of that, little hieroglyphics in the cave
00:21:16.619 --> 00:21:21.079
wall. But storytelling is as old as man. It goes
00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:24.480
back to Adam and Eve, if you will. And storytelling
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:28.339
connects in a different part of our brain, and
00:21:28.339 --> 00:21:32.960
it triggers emotion, and emotion stays with us,
00:21:33.059 --> 00:21:36.839
right? how I felt about you and your speaking
00:21:36.839 --> 00:21:42.200
is more important and goes deeper than the words
00:21:42.200 --> 00:21:45.579
that you said. Now, there will be words that
00:21:45.579 --> 00:21:48.380
you say that I will remember because you are
00:21:48.380 --> 00:21:50.559
a professional and you have crafted them that
00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:54.720
way. But it's the emotion that's going to carry
00:21:54.720 --> 00:21:59.420
the connection after that. And so storytelling
00:21:59.420 --> 00:22:03.700
is the emotional thread that we share. Storytelling
00:22:03.700 --> 00:22:07.200
is memorable. It's engaging. It transports us.
00:22:07.480 --> 00:22:11.000
If I were to say to your audience, okay, I want
00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:14.140
to tell you a story. Sit back and relax. The
00:22:14.140 --> 00:22:20.299
brain would be washed with this moment of receptivity,
00:22:20.380 --> 00:22:23.319
a moment when the heart opens and the brain is
00:22:23.319 --> 00:22:29.980
open to hearing. And that act alone allows things
00:22:29.980 --> 00:22:35.359
to imprint. And so storytelling becomes an art.
00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:38.619
It becomes a science. It becomes the way that
00:22:38.619 --> 00:22:43.000
an owner, a CEO, an author gets to the heart
00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:47.079
and connects the heart and the brain, the heart
00:22:47.079 --> 00:22:52.599
and the head. Storytelling to me is a skill and
00:22:52.599 --> 00:22:56.099
a talent, right? You have to practice, practice
00:22:56.099 --> 00:23:00.000
performing because if you go out there and you
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:03.359
tell a story. and you're monotone, and you just,
00:23:03.420 --> 00:23:05.859
you're not going to get your point across. You
00:23:05.859 --> 00:23:08.960
have to add a little life to it. When I, some
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:12.299
of my clients, when I tell them to, okay, what's
00:23:12.299 --> 00:23:14.720
your 30 second elevator pitch? They'll say, oh
00:23:14.720 --> 00:23:17.519
my God, I have it. It's perfect. I say, good.
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:20.779
Now let's shrink it down to 10 seconds. And they
00:23:20.779 --> 00:23:22.779
freak out. They freak out. What are you talking
00:23:22.779 --> 00:23:25.000
about? Look, just trust me. So we get it down
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:27.559
to 10 seconds. I said, okay, it's perfect. Now
00:23:27.559 --> 00:23:32.299
throw it out. That's the part where they really
00:23:32.299 --> 00:23:34.839
love you. Right. And they go, what are you talking
00:23:34.839 --> 00:23:37.059
about? I said, look, if you're going to a chamber
00:23:37.059 --> 00:23:39.259
of commerce or a networking meeting or something
00:23:39.259 --> 00:23:43.339
like that, and you have 30 seconds to say what
00:23:43.339 --> 00:23:46.119
you are, what you do, is that enough time for
00:23:46.119 --> 00:23:49.559
you to truly say what you are and what you do?
00:23:49.779 --> 00:23:52.859
No. Give your name, give your company's name,
00:23:52.920 --> 00:23:56.680
whatever, and give them a feeling that some of
00:23:56.680 --> 00:24:02.160
your clients had. Right. So if you just say,
00:24:02.299 --> 00:24:03.839
look, I'm Michael Foreman, I'm a professional
00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:07.019
speaker, I'm an executive business coach, and
00:24:07.019 --> 00:24:09.980
I help people make money and they feel wonderful
00:24:09.980 --> 00:24:13.859
about it. All of a sudden, all the eyes are going
00:24:13.859 --> 00:24:16.940
to be on me. And how did you do it? See me after.
00:24:17.079 --> 00:24:20.259
And that's really it. I don't go into everything
00:24:20.259 --> 00:24:23.160
that I do. So it's all how you do it. But the
00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:26.859
storytelling is so very important. It is a skill
00:24:26.859 --> 00:24:31.799
and a talent. And you have to nudge it every
00:24:31.799 --> 00:24:37.759
once in a while. Yes. Okay. For someone early
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:41.779
in their career, what is one relationship they
00:24:41.779 --> 00:24:45.039
should intentionally seek that most people overlook?
00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:52.410
One relationship they should seek. It's not the
00:24:52.410 --> 00:24:57.410
smartest guy in the room that you want to buddy
00:24:57.410 --> 00:25:04.049
up to. It's really the guy, the male or female,
00:25:04.150 --> 00:25:10.369
man or woman, who is the go -to guy. Like we
00:25:10.369 --> 00:25:14.369
have all of our org charts, right? We have all
00:25:14.369 --> 00:25:18.369
of the titles. But who's the real go -to guy?
00:25:19.589 --> 00:25:23.470
That's the guy you want to know. The person who
00:25:23.470 --> 00:25:28.769
has this seemingly endless list of contacts,
00:25:28.910 --> 00:25:31.769
of people they know, of, oh yeah, I know somebody
00:25:31.769 --> 00:25:34.509
you should talk to. That's the guy you want to
00:25:34.509 --> 00:25:37.690
know. And also, that's the guy you want to become.
00:25:39.250 --> 00:25:43.630
The person who is connected for purpose. The
00:25:43.630 --> 00:25:47.190
person who shares connections, who gives way
00:25:47.190 --> 00:25:51.420
more than they get. but who knows who to ask
00:25:51.420 --> 00:25:55.279
and how to ask for themselves and for someone
00:25:55.279 --> 00:25:59.539
else. Absolutely. I couldn't have said it better
00:25:59.539 --> 00:26:03.539
myself. You were spot on with that exact description.
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:07.160
So let me just bring this podcast full circle.
00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:11.359
And if a listener wants to build both leadership
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:14.900
presence and meaningful connections in the next
00:26:14.900 --> 00:26:19.319
90 days, what one networking behavior. would
00:26:19.319 --> 00:26:22.720
create the biggest change? Other than having
00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:26.420
you really help them craft their elevator speech,
00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:31.559
I'd say that might be the first one. No, for
00:26:31.559 --> 00:26:35.039
authors, more so than people who want to be on
00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:40.180
stages, but for authors, I would say, learn to
00:26:40.180 --> 00:26:44.859
be bold in your promotional mindset. This is
00:26:44.859 --> 00:26:49.380
true for all people. Be bold in promoting yourself
00:26:49.380 --> 00:26:55.380
and knowing what your success is based on, what
00:26:55.380 --> 00:26:58.440
your expertise is based on. And beyond that,
00:26:58.599 --> 00:27:00.859
what you are distinctive at. Let me tell you
00:27:00.859 --> 00:27:03.319
a story, Michael. It's a real short one. Okay.
00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:06.240
So I have a friend. Years ago, she was going
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:10.339
to an interview for being an attendant, an airline
00:27:10.339 --> 00:27:13.640
attendant. And so there's this mass call. Right.
00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:15.460
And all these people are waiting around. They
00:27:15.460 --> 00:27:17.680
call them in individually. So she knows that
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:19.940
she has to be distinctive. Right. She has to
00:27:19.940 --> 00:27:23.740
stand out, stand up and stand out. So she goes
00:27:23.740 --> 00:27:25.700
in the room, they go through the interview. And
00:27:25.700 --> 00:27:28.380
at the end, they're like, so what's unusual about
00:27:28.380 --> 00:27:31.380
you? And she's thinking to herself, oh, my gosh,
00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:34.859
should I do this? Really? And so she says, I'm
00:27:34.859 --> 00:27:37.640
probably the only person here who knows how to
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:40.660
yodel. And they laughed and they said, would
00:27:40.660 --> 00:27:44.160
you yodel for us? And she did. And they're like,
00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:47.579
okay, you are hired. You showed courage. You
00:27:47.579 --> 00:27:50.759
showed humor. You were brave. You are hired.
00:27:50.859 --> 00:27:54.940
You have the characteristics that we want. Yesterday,
00:27:55.099 --> 00:27:59.039
literally, I had the son of a colleague who was
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:02.420
looking for a job get on Zoom with me. He said,
00:28:02.460 --> 00:28:05.099
I know I have a problem. I speak in a monotone.
00:28:05.480 --> 00:28:07.180
He said, I don't know what to do about it. I
00:28:07.180 --> 00:28:09.079
don't know what to say to these people. I'm trying
00:28:09.079 --> 00:28:12.440
to get a job and I just want to get a job. So
00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:14.720
we talked about a lot of things. I gave him tips.
00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:18.380
And at the end, I told him the Yodel story. And
00:28:18.380 --> 00:28:20.740
I said to him, at the end of every interview,
00:28:20.880 --> 00:28:23.720
they're going to say to you, so do you have any
00:28:23.720 --> 00:28:27.039
more questions? And what I want you to do is
00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:30.740
to say no. you've answered all my questions but
00:28:30.740 --> 00:28:33.740
here's one thing you should know about me that
00:28:33.740 --> 00:28:37.279
we didn't talk about and then i want you to do
00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:41.160
your yodel whatever your yodel is whatever you
00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:45.470
have that's distinctive you do that So that you're
00:28:45.470 --> 00:28:48.670
memorable. So that they remember you. He's the
00:28:48.670 --> 00:28:52.369
guy who did the X. That's what we all want. That's
00:28:52.369 --> 00:28:54.809
what every author needs. That's what every speaker
00:28:54.809 --> 00:28:59.470
needs. He's the guy. She's the woman who X. Something
00:28:59.470 --> 00:29:03.809
distinctive. And it may be as crazy as yodeling,
00:29:03.849 --> 00:29:08.890
right? But it's distinctive. Learn that. Use
00:29:08.890 --> 00:29:13.079
that. Perfect that. That was great advice. That
00:29:13.079 --> 00:29:16.079
was great advice because everybody wants to stick
00:29:16.079 --> 00:29:19.380
out. Nobody wants to be part of the ocean. They
00:29:19.380 --> 00:29:22.680
want to be part of the wave. So it's absolutely
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.700
right. Kay, this was fantastic. You're a great
00:29:25.700 --> 00:29:30.460
podcast guest. Listen, if somebody wanted to
00:29:30.460 --> 00:29:35.660
contact you, to be mentored by you, to be coached
00:29:35.660 --> 00:29:38.619
by you, or to get your services, what's the best
00:29:38.619 --> 00:29:42.339
way for them to do it? The best way for everyone
00:29:42.339 --> 00:29:46.380
to get into our world, into my world, is to go
00:29:46.380 --> 00:29:52.779
to www .boldauthorsnetwork .com. We hold promo
00:29:52.779 --> 00:29:55.779
hour, which is all about marketing, every Monday
00:29:55.779 --> 00:29:59.819
from 4 to 5 p .m. Eastern. It's a free hour where
00:29:59.819 --> 00:30:02.819
people come and we talk about all things marketing.
00:30:02.900 --> 00:30:08.160
We focus in this hour. on authors and marketing
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:10.539
in the author world for the author's journey
00:30:10.539 --> 00:30:15.839
so that people, i .e. authors, who hate marketing
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:21.779
learn to love it. Great. That is wonderful. Listen,
00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:24.980
this conversation reminds us that leadership
00:30:24.980 --> 00:30:30.440
is rarely announced. It's recognized. And it's
00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:33.039
usually recognized through consistent conversations,
00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:36.740
genuine relationships, and the trust you build
00:30:36.740 --> 00:30:40.500
over time. If something you heard today sparked
00:30:40.500 --> 00:30:44.259
an idea, act on it this week. Reach out to someone,
00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:48.480
share a story, or share a conversation that moves
00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:51.500
a relationship forward. Influence grows through
00:30:51.500 --> 00:30:54.799
small, intentional moments. And if you found
00:30:54.799 --> 00:30:57.609
value in this episode, Make sure you like, follow
00:30:57.609 --> 00:31:00.009
and subscribe to Networking Unleashed, building
00:31:00.009 --> 00:31:02.730
profitable connections so you continue getting
00:31:02.730 --> 00:31:05.829
practical insight on networking and communication.
00:31:06.170 --> 00:31:08.930
Share this episode with someone ready to step
00:31:08.930 --> 00:31:12.640
into a stronger. professional presence. If you
00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:15.119
want help strengthening your communication, leadership
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:17.619
presence, or the way you build relationships,
00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:21.680
visit michelaforman .com to learn how I work
00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:24.200
with professionals, teams, and organizations.
00:31:24.740 --> 00:31:28.240
So until next time, show up consistently, speak
00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:31.400
with purpose, and build connections that make
00:31:31.400 --> 00:31:34.839
people remember you. Kay, again, thank you for
00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:37.900
coming on my podcast. Thank you, Michael. It
00:31:37.900 --> 00:31:44.039
was a pleasure. Well, hold on, folks. Don't go
00:31:44.039 --> 00:31:47.480
anywhere. Let's hear from our sponsors. Henry
00:31:47.480 --> 00:31:50.890
Kaplan, Century 21. When it comes to making the
00:31:50.890 --> 00:31:53.869
biggest financial decision of your life, leave
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it in the hands of a proven professional, Henry
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Kaplan. Henry is a global real estate agent with
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Century 21, celebrating his 41st year in business.
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No matter where you're moving, Henry has the
00:32:07.250 --> 00:32:10.470
right connections for you. You can contact Henry
00:32:10.470 --> 00:32:17.509
at 561 -427 -4888. A huge thank you to our guests
00:32:17.509 --> 00:32:21.309
for sharing such insights today. And of course,
00:32:21.309 --> 00:32:24.269
a big shout out to you, our amazing listeners,
00:32:24.490 --> 00:32:27.170
for tuning in and spending your time with us.
00:32:27.410 --> 00:32:30.750
If you're interested in my digital courses, being
00:32:30.750 --> 00:32:33.470
coached or having me come and talk to your company,
00:32:33.710 --> 00:32:37.150
just go to Michael and fill out the request form.
00:32:37.650 --> 00:32:40.970
Remember, networking isn't about being perfect.
00:32:41.170 --> 00:32:44.250
It's about being present. So take what you've
00:32:44.250 --> 00:32:47.089
learned today, get out there and make some meaningful
00:32:47.089 --> 00:32:50.039
connections. If you've enjoyed this episode,
00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:53.180
please don't forget to subscribe. Leave us a
00:32:53.180 --> 00:32:55.799
review and share it with someone who could use
00:32:55.799 --> 00:32:58.920
a little networking inspiration. Let's keep the
00:32:58.920 --> 00:33:01.940
conversation going. You can find me on Apple,
00:33:02.059 --> 00:33:06.900
Spotify, Pandora, YouTube, or my website, foreman
00:33:06.900 --> 00:33:09.279
.com slash podcasts.
00:00:16.679 --> 00:00:19.719
Welcome to Networking Unleashed, Building Profitable
00:00:19.719 --> 00:00:22.760
Connections. The show where relationships don't
00:00:22.760 --> 00:00:25.739
just expand your network, they expand your influence.
00:00:26.140 --> 00:00:29.239
I'm your host, Michael Foreman. And today we're
00:00:29.239 --> 00:00:32.259
talking about a shift many professionals want,
00:00:32.500 --> 00:00:35.840
but don't always understand. Moving from being
00:00:35.840 --> 00:00:39.640
present in a room to being someone actually remembered
00:00:39.640 --> 00:00:44.049
after a room empties. My guest... has walked
00:00:44.049 --> 00:00:47.710
the path from professional to author to leader.
00:00:47.850 --> 00:00:50.590
And along that journey, something interesting
00:00:50.590 --> 00:00:54.570
happens. A book doesn't just share ideas, it
00:00:54.570 --> 00:00:58.229
changes conversations. It changes how people
00:00:58.229 --> 00:01:01.729
approach you, what they ask you, and the kinds
00:01:01.729 --> 00:01:05.439
of opportunities that start finding you. We're
00:01:05.439 --> 00:01:08.760
diving into how storytelling builds trust, how
00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:12.239
relationships fuel business growth and why leadership
00:01:12.239 --> 00:01:15.959
is often formed through conversations long before
00:01:15.959 --> 00:01:21.120
it's recognized by title. If you want your connections
00:01:21.120 --> 00:01:24.159
to carry more meaning and your voice to carry
00:01:24.159 --> 00:01:27.640
more influence, you're in the right place. So
00:01:27.640 --> 00:01:31.500
I'd like to welcome to my podcast, Kay. Kay,
00:01:31.620 --> 00:01:34.420
I've been really waiting for this podcast because
00:01:34.420 --> 00:01:37.159
I'm very interested in what you have to say.
00:01:37.359 --> 00:01:39.959
But why don't you give us just the click notes
00:01:39.959 --> 00:01:43.680
of how you got where you are today? Thank you,
00:01:43.700 --> 00:01:45.980
Michael. It's a privilege and an honor to be
00:01:45.980 --> 00:01:47.739
here with you today. And first of all, I want
00:01:47.739 --> 00:01:51.560
to thank you for your service. My honor. How
00:01:51.560 --> 00:01:54.420
I got here today. Yes, we're going to do the
00:01:54.420 --> 00:01:56.980
Cliff Notes, the short version. I've been in
00:01:56.980 --> 00:02:00.239
business for quite some time. And all that time,
00:02:00.420 --> 00:02:02.299
I've been a writer. I've actually been a writer
00:02:02.299 --> 00:02:07.099
since I was a kid. In my business, North Star
00:02:07.099 --> 00:02:10.979
Marketing, I very early on became keenly aware
00:02:10.979 --> 00:02:13.800
of the value of a book. And we'll get into that
00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:16.419
story, but I'll tell you about two books that
00:02:16.419 --> 00:02:18.960
I wrote early on that literally made me millions,
00:02:19.060 --> 00:02:21.939
not in the way that you might suspect or expect,
00:02:22.439 --> 00:02:25.860
but in a very powerful way that I think your
00:02:25.860 --> 00:02:28.699
audience will appreciate and may learn a few
00:02:28.699 --> 00:02:31.960
tips from. But I'm an entrepreneur at heart,
00:02:32.099 --> 00:02:35.979
always looking for the opportunity to grow the
00:02:35.979 --> 00:02:38.460
business, to grow through personal and professional
00:02:38.460 --> 00:02:42.180
development. And really, I'm also a teacher at
00:02:42.180 --> 00:02:46.659
heart. I love helping people learn. I love to
00:02:46.659 --> 00:02:49.460
help people move into the next phase, to the
00:02:49.460 --> 00:02:53.800
next level of what is really their next growth
00:02:53.800 --> 00:02:56.379
phase, if you will. Those are the things that
00:02:56.379 --> 00:02:59.259
make my heart hum, the things that make me happy.
00:03:00.980 --> 00:03:04.159
Sounds wonderful. That really does sound great.
00:03:04.340 --> 00:03:07.659
All right, so let's get into it. How does becoming
00:03:07.659 --> 00:03:10.900
an author change the way people approach you?
00:03:10.979 --> 00:03:14.340
And how should you intentionally use that shift
00:03:14.340 --> 00:03:18.080
in your networking? That is such a great question,
00:03:18.199 --> 00:03:23.000
Michael. And the shift is incredible. So when
00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:26.620
I was early on in my business in North Star Marketing,
00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:30.439
And because I've always been a writer, I decided
00:03:30.439 --> 00:03:33.539
it was a great idea to write a book. And my subject
00:03:33.539 --> 00:03:35.860
matter has always been marketing. I'm a quote
00:03:35.860 --> 00:03:39.479
-unquote marketing expert for authors now and
00:03:39.479 --> 00:03:42.419
also for business owners and C -suite executives.
00:03:43.020 --> 00:03:49.020
But my first book came to me when I realized
00:03:49.020 --> 00:03:53.909
that the CEOs and the top level executives that
00:03:53.909 --> 00:03:56.370
I was working with, the clients that our agency
00:03:56.370 --> 00:03:59.689
had, did not really understand marketing. They
00:03:59.689 --> 00:04:03.409
knew it was something out there related to getting
00:04:03.409 --> 00:04:05.530
their products in the market. But what they really
00:04:05.530 --> 00:04:08.430
wanted was to get the sale. Could we just get
00:04:08.430 --> 00:04:10.129
the sale? I don't know what this marketing stuff
00:04:10.129 --> 00:04:14.289
is. Could we just get to the sale? So one day
00:04:14.289 --> 00:04:18.050
I realized I was working with a CEO, very large
00:04:18.050 --> 00:04:21.339
food company. And he said to me, he said, so
00:04:21.339 --> 00:04:23.220
what is it with this marketing stuff anyway?
00:04:24.040 --> 00:04:28.279
And I'm like, OK, so you don't really get marketing.
00:04:28.300 --> 00:04:32.279
No, I don't know. So that day after my staff
00:04:32.279 --> 00:04:36.420
left, I was at the office and I thought, I think
00:04:36.420 --> 00:04:39.439
I see a pattern here. I see something that's
00:04:39.439 --> 00:04:42.939
common in the marketplace. It's a problem. CEOs.
00:04:43.709 --> 00:04:47.009
Top level executives don't understand marketing.
00:04:47.050 --> 00:04:49.870
They understand sales because that has a dollar
00:04:49.870 --> 00:04:52.470
sign at the beginning of the word, but they don't
00:04:52.470 --> 00:04:55.050
understand the role marketing and branding play.
00:04:55.850 --> 00:05:00.829
So I set about to educate my clients. And that
00:05:00.829 --> 00:05:05.470
day after my staff left was quiet. I sat down
00:05:05.470 --> 00:05:08.990
and I wrote out the 10 power principles of marketing.
00:05:09.870 --> 00:05:12.910
And those power principles of marketing then
00:05:12.910 --> 00:05:17.529
became something that I taught to every client
00:05:17.529 --> 00:05:21.850
that we worked with. And those clients then shared
00:05:21.850 --> 00:05:24.810
them with other CEOs with other small business
00:05:24.810 --> 00:05:30.069
owners with other influencers. And then I began
00:05:30.069 --> 00:05:34.269
getting speaking engagements and was on the stage.
00:05:34.430 --> 00:05:41.899
And then, duh, it was time for the book. So I
00:05:41.899 --> 00:05:44.720
did it backwards. I didn't do the book. I did
00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:48.660
the book after. But I took time. And every Friday
00:05:48.660 --> 00:05:50.779
for three months, every Friday morning for three
00:05:50.779 --> 00:05:53.040
months, for three, about three or four hours,
00:05:53.060 --> 00:05:55.519
I sat down and I worked on the book. So I got
00:05:55.519 --> 00:05:57.939
the first book out, The Power Principles of Marketing.
00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:03.360
I self -published it. That was before, just shortly
00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:06.720
before KDP. So I self -published it the hard
00:06:06.720 --> 00:06:10.699
way. And I have a picture of me and my staff
00:06:10.699 --> 00:06:16.180
putting books in boxes to send to our list, to
00:06:16.180 --> 00:06:20.379
mail to our list of CEOs and business owners.
00:06:21.259 --> 00:06:24.060
That book got a lot of attention. And the subsequent
00:06:24.060 --> 00:06:26.860
book, which was titled The CEO's Little Black
00:06:26.860 --> 00:06:31.220
Book on Branding, got a lot of attention. It
00:06:31.220 --> 00:06:36.189
got an International Design Award. And the speaking
00:06:36.189 --> 00:06:40.209
engagements, the book, were like a golden ticket.
00:06:40.769 --> 00:06:44.490
And I would speak to a group of business owners.
00:06:44.610 --> 00:06:47.750
And about three weeks later, a month later, I
00:06:47.750 --> 00:06:51.930
get a phone call from the VP of marketing saying,
00:06:52.129 --> 00:06:55.810
CEO heard you speak, wants us to work with you.
00:06:57.050 --> 00:07:00.290
And then we signed up marketing projects and
00:07:00.290 --> 00:07:07.540
campaigns. relationships and it was amazing that's
00:07:07.540 --> 00:07:10.519
how it all begins that's that's how it all begins
00:07:10.519 --> 00:07:13.339
and you did it actually you say you did it in
00:07:13.339 --> 00:07:17.620
reverse order but actually that's the way that
00:07:17.620 --> 00:07:21.819
it should happen i'm a professional speaker and
00:07:21.819 --> 00:07:24.639
everybody thinks oh you write a book first that'll
00:07:24.639 --> 00:07:26.899
get you to credibility and then you can go on
00:07:26.899 --> 00:07:31.439
stages when actually No, it's not. The book really
00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:34.259
doesn't. I use my first book, The Networking
00:07:34.259 --> 00:07:37.660
Book, almost like a business card. And I don't
00:07:37.660 --> 00:07:39.699
even, I don't charge for it unless they buy it
00:07:39.699 --> 00:07:43.819
on Amazon. But you did it the right way. So don't
00:07:43.819 --> 00:07:46.399
think you did it in reverse order. You did it
00:07:46.399 --> 00:07:52.939
pretty well. Okay. Thank you. By default. I close
00:07:52.939 --> 00:07:56.420
them as I seize them. Okay. So during your author's
00:07:56.420 --> 00:07:59.730
journey. What relationship proved most valuable
00:07:59.730 --> 00:08:02.829
to your growth? And what did that connection
00:08:02.829 --> 00:08:06.970
matter more than others? Say the first part of
00:08:06.970 --> 00:08:09.769
that question again. During your author's journey.
00:08:10.069 --> 00:08:13.649
Okay, during my author's journey. What relationship
00:08:13.649 --> 00:08:17.470
proved most valuable to your growth? And why
00:08:17.470 --> 00:08:19.350
did that connection matter more than others?
00:08:20.790 --> 00:08:26.259
So my author's journey started early. It started
00:08:26.259 --> 00:08:28.860
with the two books that I just described. They
00:08:28.860 --> 00:08:33.139
were nonfiction books. And I think the relationship
00:08:33.139 --> 00:08:37.600
that mattered the most in that phase, in that
00:08:37.600 --> 00:08:46.019
time, was through the CEO peer group. I was in
00:08:46.019 --> 00:08:49.779
a CEO peer group at that time, and the leader
00:08:49.779 --> 00:08:52.820
of our CEO peer group was connected around the
00:08:52.820 --> 00:08:56.580
country. through their network. So that was the
00:08:56.580 --> 00:08:58.700
Vistage group, if you're familiar with them.
00:08:59.500 --> 00:09:03.120
And it was that relationship with him and his
00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:06.580
belief in me and in the work and the content
00:09:06.580 --> 00:09:10.159
that I was delivering, the persona that I have
00:09:10.159 --> 00:09:14.940
on stage, the ability to have a presence on stage,
00:09:15.039 --> 00:09:17.840
and as you said at the beginning, to be memorable
00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:21.700
after. But his belief in me, I think, was probably
00:09:21.700 --> 00:09:25.230
the most important thing. Because when you start,
00:09:25.350 --> 00:09:28.990
when you have material that is not tested, when
00:09:28.990 --> 00:09:31.750
you're in a speaking format and you're testing
00:09:31.750 --> 00:09:34.909
different things, sometimes it's hard. Sometimes
00:09:34.909 --> 00:09:37.169
you fall flat on your face and you always need
00:09:37.169 --> 00:09:40.129
someone to pick you up. And he was often the
00:09:40.129 --> 00:09:44.149
guy who picked me up. Everybody needs that one
00:09:44.149 --> 00:09:47.909
person that they can always turn to, but is always
00:09:47.909 --> 00:09:50.990
there, hook, line and sinker, without even thinking
00:09:50.990 --> 00:09:54.269
they're there. So you're very fortunate that
00:09:54.269 --> 00:09:57.710
you have that person. Many professionals want
00:09:57.710 --> 00:10:01.490
visibility. What's the difference between attention
00:10:01.490 --> 00:10:05.830
and influence and when you're building relationships?
00:10:08.129 --> 00:10:12.389
So interesting question, attention and influence.
00:10:12.549 --> 00:10:15.470
Now, if you're familiar with Dr. Robert Cialdini,
00:10:15.690 --> 00:10:21.110
he is the godfather of influence. And he has
00:10:21.110 --> 00:10:24.730
the seven rules of persuasion and influence.
00:10:24.990 --> 00:10:28.029
And so there's a science behind influence. There's
00:10:28.029 --> 00:10:33.610
a science behind how you go about creating presence,
00:10:33.830 --> 00:10:39.169
charisma, reciprocity, all the laws of influence
00:10:39.169 --> 00:10:42.830
that are like physical laws of gravity, right?
00:10:42.970 --> 00:10:46.149
They are real. They're ethereal, but they're
00:10:46.149 --> 00:10:49.450
real. They actually work. They impact relationships
00:10:49.450 --> 00:10:54.049
and connections and networks. Attention is what
00:10:54.049 --> 00:11:00.370
is given. Influence is what you design and actually
00:11:00.370 --> 00:11:08.009
create. So like Dr. Cialdini's work, if you study
00:11:08.009 --> 00:11:12.059
the science, And all influencers, whether they
00:11:12.059 --> 00:11:15.740
call themselves influencers or are influencers
00:11:15.740 --> 00:11:22.659
because they earned the right to be, because
00:11:22.659 --> 00:11:25.080
of their work, their expertise, their experience,
00:11:25.200 --> 00:11:30.139
would do well to study those laws because the
00:11:30.139 --> 00:11:34.580
laws that Dr. Cialdini discovered and then packaged
00:11:34.580 --> 00:11:38.850
will guide people. And I would say... Michael
00:11:38.850 --> 00:11:42.789
to especially to younger parts of your audience
00:11:42.789 --> 00:11:48.330
that these laws of influence are timeless they
00:11:48.330 --> 00:11:55.169
bring wisdom that is lasting and so to be able
00:11:55.169 --> 00:11:59.950
to understand them and then implement them is
00:11:59.950 --> 00:12:04.470
a valuable extremely valuable way to up your
00:12:04.470 --> 00:12:09.360
influence not in a manipulation but in an understanding
00:12:09.360 --> 00:12:14.320
of the way that the laws work. Very interesting.
00:12:14.740 --> 00:12:19.559
Very interesting. As your business grew, how
00:12:19.559 --> 00:12:22.220
did you decide which relationships to invest
00:12:22.220 --> 00:12:27.639
in more time? Let me try that again because I
00:12:27.639 --> 00:12:30.840
misread that completely. As your business grew,
00:12:31.080 --> 00:12:34.220
how did you decide which relationships to invest
00:12:34.220 --> 00:12:39.899
more time in and which ones to release? Wow.
00:12:40.360 --> 00:12:46.340
That is a loaded question. Yeah, it is. And I
00:12:46.340 --> 00:12:49.960
have to say, Michael, especially loaded question
00:12:49.960 --> 00:12:56.320
for me because I was a single mother of two,
00:12:56.440 --> 00:13:01.320
divorced. had a new business that was growing
00:13:01.320 --> 00:13:07.580
like fire, wildfire, and I had some really tough,
00:13:07.639 --> 00:13:10.539
hard decisions to make related to I was speaking,
00:13:10.720 --> 00:13:13.279
I was on the road, I had clients, I was on the
00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:17.379
road, I was flying, I was doing crazy things
00:13:17.379 --> 00:13:20.460
like that. All things that are great things to
00:13:20.460 --> 00:13:24.360
grow a business, but as a mother, create some
00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:28.679
real considerations. So one of my criteria at
00:13:28.679 --> 00:13:34.019
that time as things were growing was that I would
00:13:34.019 --> 00:13:37.879
not be away overnight unless I absolutely had
00:13:37.879 --> 00:13:44.460
to. And so in some ways that may have been detrimental
00:13:44.460 --> 00:13:48.740
in terms of I was very careful about the conferences
00:13:48.740 --> 00:13:51.840
that I would go to if I wasn't speaking there.
00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:55.879
I was very careful about. Those kinds of opportunities
00:13:55.879 --> 00:13:59.259
that might have opened doors or might have created
00:13:59.259 --> 00:14:03.759
a broader network. My consideration was my kids,
00:14:03.779 --> 00:14:07.559
right? My kids and the business and balancing
00:14:07.559 --> 00:14:12.700
that tension, if you will, was not easy. It was
00:14:12.700 --> 00:14:15.159
a difficult time. I made some difficult decisions,
00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:18.740
but I learned the 10 -10 -10 rule. You want to
00:14:18.740 --> 00:14:24.009
know what the 10 -10 -10 rule is? Sure. So making
00:14:24.009 --> 00:14:31.350
decisions, I look at who is most impacted by
00:14:31.350 --> 00:14:35.850
this decision and what would that impact be like
00:14:35.850 --> 00:14:41.830
on them in 10 days, in 10 months, and in 10 years.
00:14:42.909 --> 00:14:46.690
So sometimes when I had to say no to a client
00:14:46.690 --> 00:14:50.110
because of a consideration for my family, my
00:14:50.110 --> 00:14:54.519
kids, I knew that in 10 days, the client wouldn't
00:14:54.519 --> 00:14:57.179
care. In 10 months, the client wouldn't care.
00:14:57.220 --> 00:14:59.519
And in 10 years, certainly the client would never
00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:03.820
even remember it. And so that became a really
00:15:03.820 --> 00:15:08.179
good guiding point for me, was to keep that longer
00:15:08.179 --> 00:15:12.659
-term perspective about where the impact of my
00:15:12.659 --> 00:15:16.769
decisions really landed. Yeah, I went through
00:15:16.769 --> 00:15:20.070
almost the same thing. But when I became a professional
00:15:20.070 --> 00:15:22.870
speaker, I started going on stages and everything
00:15:22.870 --> 00:15:27.149
else. I did that later in life. I did it after
00:15:27.149 --> 00:15:30.230
my kids were already married off. So that kind
00:15:30.230 --> 00:15:35.070
of opened up that time for me. But I still am
00:15:35.070 --> 00:15:38.230
cognizant of the time because my wife is still
00:15:38.230 --> 00:15:41.429
home. You know, so I'm not going to go off for
00:15:41.429 --> 00:15:44.169
every other week or every other day because.
00:15:44.809 --> 00:15:47.230
I want to spend time with my wife. So I make
00:15:47.230 --> 00:15:51.350
that same type of decision judging how much time
00:15:51.350 --> 00:15:56.309
I spend away. I do. Okay. What networking habits
00:15:56.309 --> 00:16:00.549
separate leaders who attract opportunities from
00:16:00.549 --> 00:16:04.210
those who constantly chase them? Yes. So this
00:16:04.210 --> 00:16:08.909
is really interesting in the age of Zoom, right?
00:16:10.120 --> 00:16:13.419
What I am teaching authors now who are on their
00:16:13.419 --> 00:16:16.659
author journey is I'm teaching them about visibility.
00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:21.379
You need visibility to be successful. You need
00:16:21.379 --> 00:16:25.440
visibility for attracting clients and sales.
00:16:25.899 --> 00:16:30.700
You need visibility for AI to build a digital
00:16:30.700 --> 00:16:34.379
footprint for you so that you're found, right?
00:16:34.539 --> 00:16:37.440
Because if you're not visible, you're not viable.
00:16:38.970 --> 00:16:42.590
But here's what I also know to be true. The next
00:16:42.590 --> 00:16:48.710
step after visibility is proximity. And proximity
00:16:48.710 --> 00:16:54.830
is the most powerful. Now you are on stage as
00:16:54.830 --> 00:16:58.509
a professional speaker. You have proximity to
00:16:58.509 --> 00:17:05.269
an audience. When we are on Zoom, the Virtual
00:17:05.269 --> 00:17:10.130
proximity is of an entirely different sort. It
00:17:10.130 --> 00:17:14.049
has an entirely different nature to it. You don't
00:17:14.049 --> 00:17:16.849
rub elbows with someone at the back of the room
00:17:16.849 --> 00:17:20.230
or down the hall. You don't have that opportunity
00:17:20.230 --> 00:17:24.509
to wait in line to speak to somebody. You have
00:17:24.509 --> 00:17:27.750
a completely different set of rules, shall we
00:17:27.750 --> 00:17:29.789
say. Some of the basics are all the same, of
00:17:29.789 --> 00:17:34.779
course. But what I'm really studying and working
00:17:34.779 --> 00:17:38.819
with authors now is how do you begin to create
00:17:38.819 --> 00:17:43.440
proximity in the virtual age and in the age of
00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:48.720
AI? And proximity becomes so important in the
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:53.099
age of AI because there is so much fakery and
00:17:53.099 --> 00:17:57.650
proximity. brings us together we are rubbing
00:17:57.650 --> 00:18:00.490
elbows we are getting to know people in a different
00:18:00.490 --> 00:18:09.309
way in a way that engages vulnerability and authenticity
00:18:09.309 --> 00:18:13.150
getting to know each other at a deeper level
00:18:13.150 --> 00:18:17.609
and so it's a very interesting construct to think
00:18:17.609 --> 00:18:20.269
about how do i get to know you michael when you
00:18:20.269 --> 00:18:26.579
are a square on the screen And I am in an abstract
00:18:26.579 --> 00:18:32.079
place. And yet we have probably many things to
00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:35.380
talk about and to connect on and also to share,
00:18:35.619 --> 00:18:38.700
to have a connection, to be part of a network,
00:18:38.819 --> 00:18:43.019
to be able to help each other further your work,
00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:47.400
my work. And yet we are two squares on a screen.
00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:54.210
Absolutely. You brought AI into it, and that's
00:18:54.210 --> 00:18:59.089
all part of Zoom, because AI does the minutia,
00:18:59.150 --> 00:19:02.049
the small work, everything else. One thing it
00:19:02.049 --> 00:19:05.910
can't replace or can't perform is the emotion
00:19:05.910 --> 00:19:11.710
behind each person. So as you said, I'm talking
00:19:11.710 --> 00:19:15.549
to a screen. I'm not talking to a room. And I
00:19:15.549 --> 00:19:19.279
can't pick up your vibe. I can't pick up the
00:19:19.279 --> 00:19:22.900
vibe of the room. And that's a huge thing because
00:19:22.900 --> 00:19:25.900
I have to feel that because that's what keeps
00:19:25.900 --> 00:19:29.000
me. That's what gets me pumped and everything
00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:31.599
else. So I pick up the vibe of the room, but
00:19:31.599 --> 00:19:35.759
I don't have any of that. I have you as a small
00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:40.319
square on a Zoom call. And I have to remember,
00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:44.849
A, you're still a person. behind the square.
00:19:45.150 --> 00:19:48.910
So I have to figure out how can I make up for
00:19:48.910 --> 00:19:54.509
some of that? But AI can't do that because it's
00:19:54.509 --> 00:19:58.470
void of all emotion. So I can't use it. So it's
00:19:58.470 --> 00:20:00.809
all up to me. It's all up to the person. And
00:20:00.809 --> 00:20:04.329
that's one thing that AI will never replace the
00:20:04.329 --> 00:20:07.369
person. Make them really close to it because
00:20:07.369 --> 00:20:10.309
they look pretty good, but they can't replace
00:20:10.309 --> 00:20:15.069
us. Okay. And to that point, Michael, what we
00:20:15.069 --> 00:20:18.230
need to do is we need to be really cognizant
00:20:18.230 --> 00:20:21.970
of our energy. Like when we are in the square,
00:20:22.130 --> 00:20:25.410
right? We need to have this energy and presence
00:20:25.410 --> 00:20:28.910
that's bigger than the square. We need to use
00:20:28.910 --> 00:20:33.609
all of our voice. We need to use everything that
00:20:33.609 --> 00:20:36.910
we can't because we're in the square, not on
00:20:36.910 --> 00:20:41.150
the stage. Absolutely. Right behind you. Okay.
00:20:41.190 --> 00:20:45.789
What role does storytelling play in helping people
00:20:45.789 --> 00:20:53.009
trust you faster when they first meet you? Storytelling
00:20:53.009 --> 00:20:59.009
is the most important skill. A professional,
00:20:59.089 --> 00:21:04.170
an executive, an owner, a CEO can learn storytelling.
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:09.579
because storytelling is as old as the caveman.
00:21:09.859 --> 00:21:13.779
The caveman did it with grunts and signals and
00:21:13.779 --> 00:21:16.619
all of that, little hieroglyphics in the cave
00:21:16.619 --> 00:21:21.079
wall. But storytelling is as old as man. It goes
00:21:21.079 --> 00:21:24.480
back to Adam and Eve, if you will. And storytelling
00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:28.339
connects in a different part of our brain, and
00:21:28.339 --> 00:21:32.960
it triggers emotion, and emotion stays with us,
00:21:33.059 --> 00:21:36.839
right? how I felt about you and your speaking
00:21:36.839 --> 00:21:42.200
is more important and goes deeper than the words
00:21:42.200 --> 00:21:45.579
that you said. Now, there will be words that
00:21:45.579 --> 00:21:48.380
you say that I will remember because you are
00:21:48.380 --> 00:21:50.559
a professional and you have crafted them that
00:21:50.559 --> 00:21:54.720
way. But it's the emotion that's going to carry
00:21:54.720 --> 00:21:59.420
the connection after that. And so storytelling
00:21:59.420 --> 00:22:03.700
is the emotional thread that we share. Storytelling
00:22:03.700 --> 00:22:07.200
is memorable. It's engaging. It transports us.
00:22:07.480 --> 00:22:11.000
If I were to say to your audience, okay, I want
00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:14.140
to tell you a story. Sit back and relax. The
00:22:14.140 --> 00:22:20.299
brain would be washed with this moment of receptivity,
00:22:20.380 --> 00:22:23.319
a moment when the heart opens and the brain is
00:22:23.319 --> 00:22:29.980
open to hearing. And that act alone allows things
00:22:29.980 --> 00:22:35.359
to imprint. And so storytelling becomes an art.
00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:38.619
It becomes a science. It becomes the way that
00:22:38.619 --> 00:22:43.000
an owner, a CEO, an author gets to the heart
00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:47.079
and connects the heart and the brain, the heart
00:22:47.079 --> 00:22:52.599
and the head. Storytelling to me is a skill and
00:22:52.599 --> 00:22:56.099
a talent, right? You have to practice, practice
00:22:56.099 --> 00:23:00.000
performing because if you go out there and you
00:23:00.000 --> 00:23:03.359
tell a story. and you're monotone, and you just,
00:23:03.420 --> 00:23:05.859
you're not going to get your point across. You
00:23:05.859 --> 00:23:08.960
have to add a little life to it. When I, some
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:12.299
of my clients, when I tell them to, okay, what's
00:23:12.299 --> 00:23:14.720
your 30 second elevator pitch? They'll say, oh
00:23:14.720 --> 00:23:17.519
my God, I have it. It's perfect. I say, good.
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:20.779
Now let's shrink it down to 10 seconds. And they
00:23:20.779 --> 00:23:22.779
freak out. They freak out. What are you talking
00:23:22.779 --> 00:23:25.000
about? Look, just trust me. So we get it down
00:23:25.000 --> 00:23:27.559
to 10 seconds. I said, okay, it's perfect. Now
00:23:27.559 --> 00:23:32.299
throw it out. That's the part where they really
00:23:32.299 --> 00:23:34.839
love you. Right. And they go, what are you talking
00:23:34.839 --> 00:23:37.059
about? I said, look, if you're going to a chamber
00:23:37.059 --> 00:23:39.259
of commerce or a networking meeting or something
00:23:39.259 --> 00:23:43.339
like that, and you have 30 seconds to say what
00:23:43.339 --> 00:23:46.119
you are, what you do, is that enough time for
00:23:46.119 --> 00:23:49.559
you to truly say what you are and what you do?
00:23:49.779 --> 00:23:52.859
No. Give your name, give your company's name,
00:23:52.920 --> 00:23:56.680
whatever, and give them a feeling that some of
00:23:56.680 --> 00:24:02.160
your clients had. Right. So if you just say,
00:24:02.299 --> 00:24:03.839
look, I'm Michael Foreman, I'm a professional
00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:07.019
speaker, I'm an executive business coach, and
00:24:07.019 --> 00:24:09.980
I help people make money and they feel wonderful
00:24:09.980 --> 00:24:13.859
about it. All of a sudden, all the eyes are going
00:24:13.859 --> 00:24:16.940
to be on me. And how did you do it? See me after.
00:24:17.079 --> 00:24:20.259
And that's really it. I don't go into everything
00:24:20.259 --> 00:24:23.160
that I do. So it's all how you do it. But the
00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:26.859
storytelling is so very important. It is a skill
00:24:26.859 --> 00:24:31.799
and a talent. And you have to nudge it every
00:24:31.799 --> 00:24:37.759
once in a while. Yes. Okay. For someone early
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:41.779
in their career, what is one relationship they
00:24:41.779 --> 00:24:45.039
should intentionally seek that most people overlook?
00:24:45.640 --> 00:24:52.410
One relationship they should seek. It's not the
00:24:52.410 --> 00:24:57.410
smartest guy in the room that you want to buddy
00:24:57.410 --> 00:25:04.049
up to. It's really the guy, the male or female,
00:25:04.150 --> 00:25:10.369
man or woman, who is the go -to guy. Like we
00:25:10.369 --> 00:25:14.369
have all of our org charts, right? We have all
00:25:14.369 --> 00:25:18.369
of the titles. But who's the real go -to guy?
00:25:19.589 --> 00:25:23.470
That's the guy you want to know. The person who
00:25:23.470 --> 00:25:28.769
has this seemingly endless list of contacts,
00:25:28.910 --> 00:25:31.769
of people they know, of, oh yeah, I know somebody
00:25:31.769 --> 00:25:34.509
you should talk to. That's the guy you want to
00:25:34.509 --> 00:25:37.690
know. And also, that's the guy you want to become.
00:25:39.250 --> 00:25:43.630
The person who is connected for purpose. The
00:25:43.630 --> 00:25:47.190
person who shares connections, who gives way
00:25:47.190 --> 00:25:51.420
more than they get. but who knows who to ask
00:25:51.420 --> 00:25:55.279
and how to ask for themselves and for someone
00:25:55.279 --> 00:25:59.539
else. Absolutely. I couldn't have said it better
00:25:59.539 --> 00:26:03.539
myself. You were spot on with that exact description.
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:07.160
So let me just bring this podcast full circle.
00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:11.359
And if a listener wants to build both leadership
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:14.900
presence and meaningful connections in the next
00:26:14.900 --> 00:26:19.319
90 days, what one networking behavior. would
00:26:19.319 --> 00:26:22.720
create the biggest change? Other than having
00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:26.420
you really help them craft their elevator speech,
00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:31.559
I'd say that might be the first one. No, for
00:26:31.559 --> 00:26:35.039
authors, more so than people who want to be on
00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:40.180
stages, but for authors, I would say, learn to
00:26:40.180 --> 00:26:44.859
be bold in your promotional mindset. This is
00:26:44.859 --> 00:26:49.380
true for all people. Be bold in promoting yourself
00:26:49.380 --> 00:26:55.380
and knowing what your success is based on, what
00:26:55.380 --> 00:26:58.440
your expertise is based on. And beyond that,
00:26:58.599 --> 00:27:00.859
what you are distinctive at. Let me tell you
00:27:00.859 --> 00:27:03.319
a story, Michael. It's a real short one. Okay.
00:27:03.380 --> 00:27:06.240
So I have a friend. Years ago, she was going
00:27:06.240 --> 00:27:10.339
to an interview for being an attendant, an airline
00:27:10.339 --> 00:27:13.640
attendant. And so there's this mass call. Right.
00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:15.460
And all these people are waiting around. They
00:27:15.460 --> 00:27:17.680
call them in individually. So she knows that
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:19.940
she has to be distinctive. Right. She has to
00:27:19.940 --> 00:27:23.740
stand out, stand up and stand out. So she goes
00:27:23.740 --> 00:27:25.700
in the room, they go through the interview. And
00:27:25.700 --> 00:27:28.380
at the end, they're like, so what's unusual about
00:27:28.380 --> 00:27:31.380
you? And she's thinking to herself, oh, my gosh,
00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:34.859
should I do this? Really? And so she says, I'm
00:27:34.859 --> 00:27:37.640
probably the only person here who knows how to
00:27:37.640 --> 00:27:40.660
yodel. And they laughed and they said, would
00:27:40.660 --> 00:27:44.160
you yodel for us? And she did. And they're like,
00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:47.579
okay, you are hired. You showed courage. You
00:27:47.579 --> 00:27:50.759
showed humor. You were brave. You are hired.
00:27:50.859 --> 00:27:54.940
You have the characteristics that we want. Yesterday,
00:27:55.099 --> 00:27:59.039
literally, I had the son of a colleague who was
00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:02.420
looking for a job get on Zoom with me. He said,
00:28:02.460 --> 00:28:05.099
I know I have a problem. I speak in a monotone.
00:28:05.480 --> 00:28:07.180
He said, I don't know what to do about it. I
00:28:07.180 --> 00:28:09.079
don't know what to say to these people. I'm trying
00:28:09.079 --> 00:28:12.440
to get a job and I just want to get a job. So
00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:14.720
we talked about a lot of things. I gave him tips.
00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:18.380
And at the end, I told him the Yodel story. And
00:28:18.380 --> 00:28:20.740
I said to him, at the end of every interview,
00:28:20.880 --> 00:28:23.720
they're going to say to you, so do you have any
00:28:23.720 --> 00:28:27.039
more questions? And what I want you to do is
00:28:27.039 --> 00:28:30.740
to say no. you've answered all my questions but
00:28:30.740 --> 00:28:33.740
here's one thing you should know about me that
00:28:33.740 --> 00:28:37.279
we didn't talk about and then i want you to do
00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:41.160
your yodel whatever your yodel is whatever you
00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:45.470
have that's distinctive you do that So that you're
00:28:45.470 --> 00:28:48.670
memorable. So that they remember you. He's the
00:28:48.670 --> 00:28:52.369
guy who did the X. That's what we all want. That's
00:28:52.369 --> 00:28:54.809
what every author needs. That's what every speaker
00:28:54.809 --> 00:28:59.470
needs. He's the guy. She's the woman who X. Something
00:28:59.470 --> 00:29:03.809
distinctive. And it may be as crazy as yodeling,
00:29:03.849 --> 00:29:08.890
right? But it's distinctive. Learn that. Use
00:29:08.890 --> 00:29:13.079
that. Perfect that. That was great advice. That
00:29:13.079 --> 00:29:16.079
was great advice because everybody wants to stick
00:29:16.079 --> 00:29:19.380
out. Nobody wants to be part of the ocean. They
00:29:19.380 --> 00:29:22.680
want to be part of the wave. So it's absolutely
00:29:22.680 --> 00:29:25.700
right. Kay, this was fantastic. You're a great
00:29:25.700 --> 00:29:30.460
podcast guest. Listen, if somebody wanted to
00:29:30.460 --> 00:29:35.660
contact you, to be mentored by you, to be coached
00:29:35.660 --> 00:29:38.619
by you, or to get your services, what's the best
00:29:38.619 --> 00:29:42.339
way for them to do it? The best way for everyone
00:29:42.339 --> 00:29:46.380
to get into our world, into my world, is to go
00:29:46.380 --> 00:29:52.779
to www .boldauthorsnetwork .com. We hold promo
00:29:52.779 --> 00:29:55.779
hour, which is all about marketing, every Monday
00:29:55.779 --> 00:29:59.819
from 4 to 5 p .m. Eastern. It's a free hour where
00:29:59.819 --> 00:30:02.819
people come and we talk about all things marketing.
00:30:02.900 --> 00:30:08.160
We focus in this hour. on authors and marketing
00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:10.539
in the author world for the author's journey
00:30:10.539 --> 00:30:15.839
so that people, i .e. authors, who hate marketing
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:21.779
learn to love it. Great. That is wonderful. Listen,
00:30:21.960 --> 00:30:24.980
this conversation reminds us that leadership
00:30:24.980 --> 00:30:30.440
is rarely announced. It's recognized. And it's
00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:33.039
usually recognized through consistent conversations,
00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:36.740
genuine relationships, and the trust you build
00:30:36.740 --> 00:30:40.500
over time. If something you heard today sparked
00:30:40.500 --> 00:30:44.259
an idea, act on it this week. Reach out to someone,
00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:48.480
share a story, or share a conversation that moves
00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:51.500
a relationship forward. Influence grows through
00:30:51.500 --> 00:30:54.799
small, intentional moments. And if you found
00:30:54.799 --> 00:30:57.609
value in this episode, Make sure you like, follow
00:30:57.609 --> 00:31:00.009
and subscribe to Networking Unleashed, building
00:31:00.009 --> 00:31:02.730
profitable connections so you continue getting
00:31:02.730 --> 00:31:05.829
practical insight on networking and communication.
00:31:06.170 --> 00:31:08.930
Share this episode with someone ready to step
00:31:08.930 --> 00:31:12.640
into a stronger. professional presence. If you
00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:15.119
want help strengthening your communication, leadership
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:17.619
presence, or the way you build relationships,
00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:21.680
visit michelaforman .com to learn how I work
00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:24.200
with professionals, teams, and organizations.
00:31:24.740 --> 00:31:28.240
So until next time, show up consistently, speak
00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:31.400
with purpose, and build connections that make
00:31:31.400 --> 00:31:34.839
people remember you. Kay, again, thank you for
00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:37.900
coming on my podcast. Thank you, Michael. It
00:31:37.900 --> 00:31:44.039
was a pleasure. Well, hold on, folks. Don't go
00:31:44.039 --> 00:31:47.480
anywhere. Let's hear from our sponsors. Henry
00:31:47.480 --> 00:31:50.890
Kaplan, Century 21. When it comes to making the
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biggest financial decision of your life, leave
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it in the hands of a proven professional, Henry
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Kaplan. Henry is a global real estate agent with
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Century 21, celebrating his 41st year in business.
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No matter where you're moving, Henry has the
00:32:07.250 --> 00:32:10.470
right connections for you. You can contact Henry
00:32:10.470 --> 00:32:17.509
at 561 -427 -4888. A huge thank you to our guests
00:32:17.509 --> 00:32:21.309
for sharing such insights today. And of course,
00:32:21.309 --> 00:32:24.269
a big shout out to you, our amazing listeners,
00:32:24.490 --> 00:32:27.170
for tuning in and spending your time with us.
00:32:27.410 --> 00:32:30.750
If you're interested in my digital courses, being
00:32:30.750 --> 00:32:33.470
coached or having me come and talk to your company,
00:32:33.710 --> 00:32:37.150
just go to Michael and fill out the request form.
00:32:37.650 --> 00:32:40.970
Remember, networking isn't about being perfect.
00:32:41.170 --> 00:32:44.250
It's about being present. So take what you've
00:32:44.250 --> 00:32:47.089
learned today, get out there and make some meaningful
00:32:47.089 --> 00:32:50.039
connections. If you've enjoyed this episode,
00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:53.180
please don't forget to subscribe. Leave us a
00:32:53.180 --> 00:32:55.799
review and share it with someone who could use
00:32:55.799 --> 00:32:58.920
a little networking inspiration. Let's keep the
00:32:58.920 --> 00:33:01.940
conversation going. You can find me on Apple,
00:33:02.059 --> 00:33:06.900
Spotify, Pandora, YouTube, or my website, foreman
00:33:06.900 --> 00:33:09.279
.com slash podcasts.
