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Series: The Families We Don't Hear About: Recovery Through Relationship
For decades, families have been told that love, support, and staying connected to a child struggling with substance use is “enabling” and that there’s only one way to help.
We don’t hear enough about families that are going against that narrative and choosing recovery through relationship instead. This is the first episode in an ongoing series meant to elevate those voices.
In this episode, Pam Lanhart shares what happened when her family stopped following the tough love narrative and started loving well instead.
Pam opens up about her own childhood trauma, the fear and chaos that took over when her son Jake began struggling with substances, and the painful ways their family initially responded. She shares how education, nervous system regulation, CRAFT, DBT skills, and a shift toward curiosity and connection transformed the way they loved their son and themselves.
This conversation explores:
• why behaviors make sense in context
• how trauma impacts parenting responses
• the hidden damage caused by labels like “addict,” “codependent,” and “enabler”
• why punitive approaches often push people deeper into substance use
• the difference between boundaries and punishment
• what healing looked like inside their family
• and how Pam found peace without regret after losing her son Jake
This is not just a family recovery story. It’s a story about relationship repair, compassion, and learning how to love well in the middle of uncertainty.
Resources From Heather Ross Coaching
If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below.
https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery
The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/
Boundaries That Create Connection Masterclass
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/boundaries-that-create-connection-masterclass/
How to leave a podcast review
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5xkPZM8mj-E
Connect with Pam Lanhart
Thrive Family Recovery Resources
https://www.thrivefrr.org/
Together Family Recovery Documentary
https://www.togetherfamilyrecovery.com/
