00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:14.560
I just remember thinking back to that first night in the hospital when Elsie's in the ICU and uh Amanda, who had an emergency C-section, isn't able to be down in the room with her.
00:00:14.800 --> 00:00:18.160
And she's in her own room recovering and going up into that room.
00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:22.399
And Amanda and I just sitting and crying together and reading through Psalms 23.
00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:30.320
Scripture became real when you're sitting in the hospital going, I don't I don't know how many more days I might have with my kid.
00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:34.320
There's lots of situations in our lives where we can't control outcomes.
00:00:34.560 --> 00:00:37.039
You are literally out of control.
00:00:37.119 --> 00:00:44.880
And yet, when I hear you talk about it, there's something in the process of a posture of, but I am gonna be faithful.
00:00:45.039 --> 00:00:52.640
I'm gonna show up in these spaces in very specific ways, and I'm not gonna try to control the outcome.
00:00:54.000 --> 00:01:11.120
Welcome to the Follow Podcast, a podcast that believes at its core, the single most important oriented belief that if Jesus is right about God and life and the human soul, then it would make sense that we rearrange our lives around what he says is true.
00:01:11.439 --> 00:01:13.599
So that's what we're exploring.
00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:19.439
All that Jesus said was true, and how to rearrange our lives around it.
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So I came across this phrase this week, Carter.
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Um I think it's British in origin, British.
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Uh you ever heard of it?
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Cracking on.
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You heard that phrase?
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Never.
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Never heard of cracking on.
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I hadn't either.
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Um uh the Brits say it, uh, the Australians say it because evidently they know each other, the Brits and the Australians.
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And cracking on is a phrase that you use.
00:01:49.680 --> 00:02:07.840
It's sort of like um when you're facing something really tough, um, strip swimming upstream, they'll say something like, Well, you gotta just keep cracking on, which is different, by the way, based on my research, from cracking on to, which means flirting with someone.
00:02:07.920 --> 00:02:13.039
So for all of our British listeners and our Australian listeners, that is not what we're gonna be talking about.
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Um, we're talking about cracking on.
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That's the the series we're in.
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Uh, just about like how do you so cracking on?
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Any words to our British and Australian listeners?
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I'm I'm I'm like speechless.
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I've never heard that phrase before.
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So tell me more, teach me more.
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That's the thing.
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I I so here's my question for you.
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What is in your adolescence, or when you think back, what is like cracking on?
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Like you just had to push through it.
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What is one instance that comes to mind where you're like, hard thing, I just had to keep going on?
00:02:52.400 --> 00:03:02.960
I'll tell you, uh while you're thinking, sophomore year, I move from Granite City, Illinois to East Texas.
00:03:03.360 --> 00:03:05.919
I mean, you get they can't even be any different, right?
00:03:06.240 --> 00:03:12.000
Um you know, Granite City, Illinois is right next to St.
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Louis, uh East Texas.
00:03:14.639 --> 00:03:16.240
I mean, they're worlds apart.
00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:23.439
So I moved to East Texas and I'd played baseball my whole life, been playing since I was four years old.
00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:29.840
And just to be clear, the producers in the back, laughing, that's Luke, our producer, laughing.
00:03:30.159 --> 00:03:39.680
Um, I got there and it became pretty clear that the coach of that baseball team hated my guts in East Texas.
00:03:39.840 --> 00:03:40.479
I didn't like that.
00:03:40.560 --> 00:03:46.159
I wore, you know, my I did not fit in East Texas in any stretch of the imagination.
00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:51.199
And I remember coming home and telling my dad, I'm like, I not I can't play here.
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This coach hates me.
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I'm going to sit the bench all year long.
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And my dad didn't have the mastery of the British vocabulary to tell me to keep cracking on, but that's what I had to do.
00:04:03.599 --> 00:04:09.599
Is for the next year, it was show up, um, get yelled at.
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:18.000
I remember specifically uh he thought it was funny to punish me for someone else's mistake.
00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:26.240
So there were practices where he would look uh a shortstop would boot a ball and he'd say, Parks, run a lap.
00:04:26.319 --> 00:04:27.839
And I'd be like, Why?
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Because your teammate may go run.
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Someone miss a sign, he'd make me run all the time.
00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:45.839
And um, I will tell you, it was like as a sophomore, really hard to go to practice every day because it's like this coach is never gonna play me, he hates my guts.
00:04:46.319 --> 00:04:53.600
Fast forward to my senior year, and uh one of my prized possessions, I still have it.
00:04:53.759 --> 00:04:59.680
I still have the letter that that coach wrote me when I was leaving Texas.
00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:05.040
It sits inside of a uh a safe that I have at my house.
00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:15.120
Uh this coach adored me, and he became foundational in how I see life, the things I'm how how to get through hard things.
00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:17.439
But I do remember that sophomore year, man.
00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:20.480
It was like I just had to keep cracking on.
00:05:29.839 --> 00:05:30.800
I still held on to it.
00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:36.480
And then it said, You have a Josh McDaniels punchable face.
00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:38.399
You have a punchable face.
00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:41.360
Hey, before we keep going, can I ask you something?
00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:49.759
What if following Jesus isn't mostly about knowing more, but actually rearranging your life around what he said is true?
00:05:50.079 --> 00:05:54.000
Because that's the belief behind everything we do at follow.
00:05:54.240 --> 00:06:00.800
If Jesus is right about God, life, and the soul, then his way is worth actually living.
00:06:01.040 --> 00:06:12.399
Now, here's the thing following Jesus, it is a journey, it can be slow, it is intentional, and sometimes it is a little bit disorienting, but you don't have to have it all figured out.
00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:14.319
You just need a next step.
00:06:14.639 --> 00:06:17.120
So, start with the follow guide.
00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:26.959
It is a 30-day guided journey with one reading and one practice each day designed to help you take what Jesus taught and begin putting it into practice.
00:06:27.199 --> 00:06:31.759
Go through it on your own, with a friend, or with a group, and that's just the beginning.
00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:46.639
The follow library includes guides to the words of Jesus and prayer, and with more to come on practices like scripture, rest, and so much more, all created to help you keep rearranging your everyday life around what Jesus said is true.
00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:49.680
But you don't have to change everything today.
00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:54.079
You just need to take your next step along his way.
00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:58.000
So visit follow thewayofjesus.com.
00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:00.480
Start that journey today.
00:07:02.879 --> 00:07:10.879
It's so funny though, like my dad had this phrase, and he'd say it always to me, change diversity and opportunity.
00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:19.040
Um, if I got four fouls, he'd just come up and I'd be sitting and I'd be wanting to blame the refs, or I want to just change diversity and opportunity.
00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:23.360
Like it's one of it's just I can hear my dad just saying that all the time.
00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:25.839
Like, of course, of course, yeah.
00:07:26.000 --> 00:07:28.879
This is this is your chance to change diversity and opportunity.
00:07:28.959 --> 00:07:44.399
And and it's like when you describe what you know cracking on is, is can you can you like have that level of resilience and some mental mindset that can help almost pull you through?
00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:48.560
Um, you know, that's different than like stuck it up, buttercup kind of thing.
00:07:48.639 --> 00:07:49.920
Yeah, you know, different things, right?
00:07:50.160 --> 00:07:54.800
It's it's like some some piece, but you still have to show up.
00:07:54.879 --> 00:08:08.800
You have a choice, and probably what made that coach love you so much was that there was in your spirit that at least you didn't give off during those practices, was a bit unbreakable.
00:08:08.959 --> 00:08:15.040
Or maybe you did, but he just like like he probably wanted you to have some attitude so he could be like this little St.
00:08:15.199 --> 00:08:18.879
Louis Cardinals fan, like can't stand him, as I told you.
00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:21.759
They're not built like us, and you kept running, kept showing up.
00:08:21.920 --> 00:08:25.680
I showed up and go home and complain to dad, and dad said, crack on, crack on.
00:08:25.920 --> 00:08:27.199
But like, yeah, I don't know.
00:08:27.279 --> 00:08:28.240
It's just it's cool.
00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:33.600
Like, I wonder how many of us like this is the role our fathers played.
00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:39.919
Maybe not the best roles in a thousand other areas, but somehow, yeah, hard stuff, son.
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Keep on, keep it on, kind of thing, you know.
00:08:42.320 --> 00:08:50.639
But there is something in that culture, in our culture, that I think maybe just needs to be reminded about cracking on.
00:08:50.799 --> 00:08:52.639
And that's what that's what drew me to it.
00:08:52.799 --> 00:09:01.440
And so I'm excited today because we have a guest on, um, Jeremy Lewis, worship leader extraordinaire, one of my travel buddies.
00:09:01.519 --> 00:09:13.120
Actually, it will be one year in seven days from when Jeremy myself and our producer took an epic motorcycle motorcycle.
00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:19.600
I say motorcycle loosely very, very loosely across Italy.
00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:22.000
But Jeremy's joining us today.
00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:26.080
So, uh, Jeremy Lewis, welcome to the pod, buddy.
00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:26.879
Glad to be here.
00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:28.000
Glad you could be on.
00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:30.960
A year ago, we all left a little piece of ourselves in Italy.
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It literally, you did.
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You did.
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You know what?
00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:37.919
There's a reason why you don't have a microphone.
00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:38.720
Exactly.
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Um, um it is true.
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Like we you we had a little you had a little little crash over in Italy.
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Yeah, we went to Italy and we thought it would be an amazing experience to to jump on.
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I've I've never ridden more than a bicycle, like nothing motorized.
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Like a tricycle.
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Not even not even that.
00:10:00.879 --> 00:10:05.759
Uh I well, you know, I I I have ridden a tricycle probably as a child.
00:10:05.919 --> 00:10:11.279
Um but since then that this was by far the most adventurous thing that I've ever done.
00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:14.000
And it's mostly because I I was going with two Enneagram sevens.
00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:14.720
Yeah, that's right.
00:10:14.799 --> 00:10:16.000
Two sevens on the Enneagram.
00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:19.679
It was a it was a glorious adventure, but that's not why we're here.
00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:24.159
Um I am I really am excited that you joined us.
00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:28.080
Jeremy's been on staff at Plum Creek for uh a few years.
00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:29.600
How long have you been on staff?
00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:39.600
Uh a little over five and a half years, uh, all the way back to kind of like January 1st, I think officially is the official start date, January 1st of 2021.
00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:45.759
And describe a little bit of your journey over the last like you you came in, your your worship tell us a little bit about you.
00:10:46.080 --> 00:10:52.720
Yeah, I grew I grew up in a home where my dad was a pastor, my mom played music uh at the church.
00:10:52.799 --> 00:11:10.240
Uh, and so I just kind of grew up with the experience of yeah, church, music, all those things, and um all my family, super musical, and just got into high school, discovered uh cool little group called Hillsong United, and thought that was the coolest thing I'd ever seen.
00:11:10.320 --> 00:11:11.679
I was like, I want to do that.
00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:28.799
And so I started pursuing that and ended up found found myself, yeah, into the calling and career of doing worship music and have been at Plum Creek now for a little over five years, but have been doing uh ministry, worship ministry for the last about 15 years.
00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:29.919
I love it.
00:11:30.080 --> 00:11:47.519
Um, well, you came to mind as we started to think about the series that we're moving into as we talked about cracking on, because I think there are lots of listeners and all of us experience something we didn't expect.
00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:52.720
A big thing that comes our way where you just didn't see it coming.
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And I think your story exemplifies a little bit of well, I didn't see that coming.
00:11:59.919 --> 00:12:12.000
And uh I'd I would love for you to share a little bit of the story of your oldest and tell us a little bit about what happened, how long ago that was.
00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:12.960
Yeah.
00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:15.759
Uh so Steve, I don't know if I've I've told you this story.
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:23.120
I know we've we've connected a few times, but um so my wife and I we're we've been married now for 15 years.
00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:24.879
Uh we just celebrated our 15th.
00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:25.919
Hey, congratulations.
00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:27.279
15 years, thank you.
00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:30.320
We got we got to go to uh Mexico this summer.
00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:31.120
Super great.
00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:33.200
Didn't get on any bikes while we were there.
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Good idea.
00:12:34.559 --> 00:12:38.639
So but uh we yeah, we we got married.
00:12:38.879 --> 00:12:40.639
Children was kind of always a part of the picture.
00:12:40.720 --> 00:13:01.759
We moved down to Florida, we uh went and joined uh a church down there, church plant, and in that process being far away from family, we we wanted to kind of start marriage that way, but just um as we were kind of in the throes of ministry and everything else, and as we kind of started to unpack what it would look like to have kids, we knew that we wanted to be closer uh to family.
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:09.200
So we moved back to Colorado um and kind of quickly kind of jumped into the pool of trying to have kids.
00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:19.919
Um and in that, you know, we we got pregnant, and as every parent does, like you're excited, you're it's the dream is is is on its way.
00:13:20.639 --> 00:13:31.120
Um and about 20 weeks into uh Amanda being pregnant, uh she'd gone to just kind of a typical OB appointment.
00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:40.720
And at that appointment, they saw something as they were kind of just doing uh their scans, um that something wasn't normal.
00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:45.600
And so they referred us to uh children's hospital.
00:13:45.679 --> 00:14:01.279
And so all of this is just it's new, just yeah just a process of going to an OB appointment regularly um and them scanning and doing all these strange things that just it's it's a all of it's already a new world.
00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:10.559
Um and so when they tell us, hey, something that just doesn't look normal, um, we don't know what that means.
00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:12.960
They really actually don't even say more than that.
00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:18.320
Um and so we just have we have no context other than you need to go see somebody else.
00:14:18.639 --> 00:14:37.519
And so we rolled into children's hospital the next day, we got an appointment right away, um, and yeah, proceeded to do uh some more scans, and then they took us into a big conference room with a big conference table uh and started sharing lots of big words with us.
00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:41.120
Did you remember what you were feeling in the moment?
00:14:42.240 --> 00:14:52.480
Uh yeah, I mean uh just uh a numb kind of like um just every everything that was being said in in that moment.
00:14:52.879 --> 00:15:00.480
Um, it's like that idea of dreams kind of crashing um the world that you expected.
00:15:00.639 --> 00:15:17.360
Um kind of it's kind of like you when I get in a c crash on a bike in in Italy, like the surreal, just trying to take in the amount of chaos and the amount of everything that's coming at you in that moment, it's hard to process the amount uh that's coming at you.
00:15:17.759 --> 00:15:34.480
Not even just the fact that, okay, there's a whole world of medical terminology and everything that's being thrown at you that you you just don't know what they're saying, uh, other than my child is sick and is gonna have a very hard time uh making it through.
00:15:34.639 --> 00:15:43.519
Um and on top of that, just the emotions of everything that we've been dreaming about has changed.
00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:53.919
Um so we get to that moment and it's a reckoning of just the world that we had been dreaming of was going to suddenly look different.
00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:58.240
Um and it felt pretty pretty hopeless in that moment.
00:15:58.320 --> 00:16:10.480
Uh just trying to dig through the totality of a diagnosis that we got in that moment of that our daughter was going to be born with a condition, again, big words of hypoplastic left heart syndrome.
00:16:10.960 --> 00:16:16.639
Um so just these big things where they distill it down, they call it HLHS.
00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:38.159
Um but just in layman's terms, it means that her heart didn't form properly and that the journey from from there on out um would in reality mean hey, you can jump on the train of trying to do surgeries to help your daughter.
00:16:38.320 --> 00:16:44.639
Um and we don't know, you know, the totality of what those outcomes always means.
00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:46.320
Here's what we have seen.
00:16:46.480 --> 00:16:49.120
Uh and they start throwing lots of numbers out at you.
00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:56.159
And so again, it's like just it's a whirlwind of numbers and information and words and things that are hard to make sense of.
00:16:56.399 --> 00:17:17.119
Um, and so we we get this diagnosis and and we we find out that our daughter will uh about four days into being born have to have an open heart surgery uh just to start the process of getting her heart to a place that can not function like normal, but get her to a place where, you know, she can live life.
00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:19.920
Do you do you Jeremy, when you think back?
00:17:21.440 --> 00:17:23.279
Do you remember in that season?
00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:26.000
Because that was a decade ago.
00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:28.400
Yeah, ten ten years ago.
00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:37.920
So do you remember where and when your lowest point in that season was?
00:17:38.319 --> 00:17:39.519
Do you remember any of that?
00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:57.039
I think there were several low moments up that that day specifically um sitting in that conference room with uh some people that I never saw again, uh, some people that we've seen many times since.
00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:08.079
Um, and we're we're grateful for those people um that have sat with us, the doctors, uh, the PAs, the nurses uh that walked through through those moments with us.
00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:16.160
But they're not people that like it's like, oh man, I I'm really hoping to meet a heart surgeon someday and become great friends with this guy.
00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:16.480
Right.
00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:24.960
Um But it like in that moment it was kind of like yeah, hor horrible moment, um, sitting in that conference room.
00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:33.680
Um the day of Elsie's first surgery, um, on July or June, June 6th.
00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:45.920
Um sitting in the waiting room for for eight hours, waiting to to to hear what what would be the outcome just from the first surgery.
00:18:46.480 --> 00:19:00.640
Um I think getting readmitted a month after um we go home after she'd already been in the hospital uh for a month and then going home for just a few days and then going back.
00:19:00.799 --> 00:19:03.519
I mean, just it's kind of a big roller coaster.
00:19:03.680 --> 00:19:06.799
You you experience these moments where it's just like, all right.
00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:15.599
I mean, like the kind of like that cherry on top moment, like the day that we we were actually supposed we were leaving for the very first time with Elsie to go home.
00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:21.519
We get in my car and we start driving on I-70, and my car breaks down in the middle of I-70.
00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:22.960
Oh, you gotta be kidding.
00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:31.839
So, like we literally, like just boom, we shut down all of I-70 with our daughter, her first time in a car.
00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:33.759
She's like, all right, here we go.
00:19:35.119 --> 00:19:39.680
That's the uh when it rains, it pours, like analogy for sure.
00:19:39.920 --> 00:19:42.000
And I honestly, like, I I forget about these things.
00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:50.480
Like it was just like it's a whirlwind season of life where like sitting here having this conversation, like I forget about it until I start to actually go down memory lane.
00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:54.079
It's like, oh yeah, this other really crappy thing happened.
00:19:54.720 --> 00:19:57.200
Like, we broke, we shut down I-70.
00:19:57.279 --> 00:19:58.559
Yeah, no, nothing.
00:19:59.440 --> 00:20:00.240
Now we need a new car.
00:20:00.319 --> 00:20:00.480
Great.
00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:01.119
Oh my perfect.
00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:05.440
I wonder, like, when you look back on that season, obviously.
00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:09.440
Uh well, tell the whole story.
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:13.680
She she is uh how is Elsie these days?
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:18.000
Uh she's healthy, thriving.
00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:26.000
You know, I I use those words in the sense of like for Elsie, she's she's healthy and thriving as uh what her baseline looks like.
00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:31.920
Um you know, anybody that would see her wouldn't necessarily see anything abnormal.
00:20:32.000 --> 00:20:35.680
She looks like a normal young, healthy 10-year-old girl.
00:20:35.839 --> 00:20:39.759
Um, but you know, she's got a scar down the middle of her chest.
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:58.720
Um, and she's getting to a place now where um she's starting to think like a 10-year-old and notice those things where, you know, as a five-year-old, you're not necessarily concerned about the the aesthetics of of the abody, um, but she's starting to become a young girl.
00:20:58.960 --> 00:21:06.000
And um, so all of a sudden wearing a a bathing suit or anything like that start just those kind of things start to come to mind.
00:21:06.160 --> 00:21:10.160
And um, but she's still like crazy confident.
00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:18.480
She's um like honestly, just like one of the the most confident, bravest people I've I've ever known.
00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:26.240
Um, and so she's she's endured more than Amanda and I could ever uh testify to in our own lives.
00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:59.599
Um and she's only tenure, in the spirit of you know you know, this series we're in, this is the ultimate change of plans, the ultimate, however you you describe it any way you want, you know, uh off ramp.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.599
curve ball, whatever.
00:22:01.839 --> 00:22:23.519
And I wonder as you look back, um what what is some of your biggest learnings about how did you how did you get through some of those seasons that were exceedingly scary, very unknown, very traumatic, right?
00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:37.039
Because, you know, I think it is one going, I don't want to understand going through hard things personally, uh, when you're the subject of the hard thing, the surgery, the diagnosis is hard.
00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:41.519
But there's a different weight that you carry when you're carrying it for someone else.
00:22:41.680 --> 00:22:43.440
You know, you're carrying it for your daughter.
00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:50.000
You know, there's something as a parent that uh that every parent that's listening can feel.
00:22:50.079 --> 00:22:52.960
You know, it's like it's happening to your child.
00:22:53.279 --> 00:22:54.559
It does something different.
00:22:54.640 --> 00:22:56.160
You have to carry on differently.
00:22:56.319 --> 00:23:02.960
So I just wonder what is some of your biggest learnings in the season as you reflect back on how did you make it?
00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:04.400
Like how did you do it?
00:23:04.559 --> 00:23:05.519
What did you do?
00:23:05.680 --> 00:23:07.119
What did you learn?
00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:20.240
Yeah, I mean I one, I I would say we're we're still trying to make it um you know there's there's moments that happen still you know I texted you several months ago like Elsie had passed out just randomly from something.
00:23:20.319 --> 00:23:31.519
And so there there's still moments along the way that are just um yeah tough and and so it's just it's it's a constant moment of trying to to carry on and carry through and crack on.
00:23:32.799 --> 00:24:24.640
But honestly like I I I can't speak to anything more than just you know like but firstly just like it is by the grace and mercy of God um that that we've been able to maintain sustain um and walk through any of this um and you know we've we've had parents that have raised us you know in in the ways of God and just you know it's like when when you sit in a home with with parents that tell you to pray that you know bring scripture in front of you consistently and and you memorize and uh and you do all these things that like um these repetitions you know what we're going through follow as a church and bringing in this discipleship model that these spiritual habits that sometimes feel like what what am I doing?
00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:29.519
I'm I'm I'm just shooting free throws from the free throw line without anybody around me.
00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:32.319
Like why why why am I praying?
00:24:32.480 --> 00:25:45.440
Why am I reading the scripture and you know just but it but I think it's actually for for moments like what Amanda and I just walked through it's um and have been walking through where it's like the scripture isn't necessarily hey you're you're in the middle of a moment at all times it's it's going to be a roller coaster of seasons where there's going to be moments where you're on top of the mountain um but scripture is even for that moment prayers for that moment to be able to say God thank you but even in the valley um where it's like man this is the lowest of lows and like I I just remember thinking back to that first night in the hospital um when Elsie's in the ICU and uh Amanda who had an emergency C-section isn't able to be down in the room with her and she's in her own room recovering and going up into that room and Amanda and I just sitting and crying together and reading through Psalms 23 and having a moment where it's like okay like this scripture became real like being you know a child and reading through Psalm 23 and talking about though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death like it's hard to imagine and like what does that mean?
00:25:46.319 --> 00:25:53.599
Like it becomes real when when you're sitting in the hospital going, I don't I don't know how many more days I might have with my kid.
00:25:54.480 --> 00:26:10.559
And so just like the ability to lament and the ability to thank God like thank you for these moments that we get to have with our daughter thank you God um that that we're here thank you that you're here with us.
00:26:10.640 --> 00:27:07.279
And it it was in those moments that like that the presence of God felt more tangible felt more real than it had ever felt um and like like you don't wish necessarily like God placed me back in that valley but it's but it's in those moments like I remember Francis Chan talking about this idea of uh these missionaries that had uh had been taken captive and how um it was in those moments of of captivity that they felt that presence of Jesus um more tangible than anything else and that they had as they had come out of it this longing almost to go back where it's like that I'd never been that close to my Lord than I was in those moments and like and I think there is a a truth to like the presence that we felt of God in those moments was was just so real and I I think that's what you know God has proved himself.
00:27:07.359 --> 00:27:28.240
And so the ability for us to um to keep pressing on to have this perseverance in a world that we didn't dream of having um we certainly weren't like asking for in that sense but like we we feel honored that God would would allow us to be able to carry the story of LC in this manner.
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:52.960
Jeremy you I so appreciate you sharing this and on so many levels um you know you you can often talk about uh kind of a cliff notes version of what spiritual formation is is you know you are simple, complex sacred you know you might have the simple truth that you know God you're you'll never leave me nor forsake me.
00:27:53.200 --> 00:28:23.279
And then it goes through the complexity of fire or difficulty or hardship and you wonder does that verse hold up and if you can kind of like experience that weightiness and the complexity that phrase goes from some simple trite phrase God is with me never leave me nor forsake me to becoming something so profoundly sacred and holy like you know like you know to the core of your being like who God is in a new way.
00:28:23.759 --> 00:29:02.160
I think there's uh all of these places in our life where um we we feel like we can be in control and we and and even though we we we can talk about God's sovereignty and God being a God of control and then there are these places of such vulnerability that I can't fix this for my daughter I can't control this um how how did you still get up and lead people in worship?
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:06.799
How did you still continue to you know crack it on?
00:29:06.960 --> 00:29:18.400
Like how did you still continue to take steps when you knew like I can't fix this I can't change this.
00:29:18.799 --> 00:30:45.440
I can't like like what was that what was that faith mindset I guess um to continue and and what would you say hey I I feel like my wife and I did this really well and then were there areas that you're like oh man I I just felt tempted here felt like it was so hard to trust even though I could sing about it I couldn't like in reality like deep within was hard to keep trusting yeah I I think for me the the motion of being able to to do maybe some of these practices whether it's you know returning to scripture reading praying um or even just getting up and singing a song like these motions I think sometimes it can feel like oh he's he's going through like a pretend motion um but like for me it's like no the this is the aspect it's it's no different than a a parent who had a bad day at work and his boss yelled at him and like how does that guy not go home and take it out on his wife and kids like in the same way it's like yes my my daughter is fighting for her life in the hospital um do I therefore not show up to the people that I'm supposed to care for in a in a different sphere and go, hey, just not up not up to it today.
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:52.079
And I I think sometimes like we we compartmentalize our lives in this way and we allow ourselves to go, you know what?
00:30:52.240 --> 00:31:02.640
I'm allowed to not be a parent today because I had a bad day at work or hey I'm allowed to not be a a worship leader today because you know my my family's having a tough day at home.
00:31:02.960 --> 00:31:15.200
And those things are all real and that's not to shame anybody that you know it it just it does land that way where hey yeah like my my spouse just passed away or my my child is sick.
00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:24.880
Those things are very real um you know but for for my wife and I it wasn't about trying to pretend or or anything like that.
00:31:25.119 --> 00:32:00.640
I think for us it was just this genuine place of like no we we want to continue worshiping God in in the place that we're currently in for for me to be able to come back to how how does David continue to sing and write and um and you know write these words that that inspire me to this day um well I I want to pursue God in the same way and that and there's going to be and there were moments of lament of me crying out to God and going this isn't fair.
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:02.720
Like where where are you?
00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:11.039
And all of these things are appropriate even in in the course of being a pastor on a stage and singing songs.
00:32:11.519 --> 00:32:17.680
And there there have been moments where yeah we've been able to share and speak to those things.
00:32:19.279 --> 00:33:03.519
But I think just in the same way where it's like a coach telling telling the player to go out onto the field and like hey yeah it's going to be tough like here but here's these these battlefield moments of life where when when you go through it how how do I keep putting on um yeah the the armor of God to be able to keep fighting day after day um because I have a a a child that that I hope one day s sees and recognizes hey my my parents while while they were in the midst in the thick of it um I have seen I have witnessed and been able to see yes like hard things are a part of life and I can walk through hard things.
00:33:03.920 --> 00:33:30.079
And so I I think some of that mindset too is just like we we want to show our children who even at four days old is not going to be able to recognize that but just like no this this is the testimony that we want to carry with us is that our children will will be able to see and testify to our our parents uh were able to um stand with with their community and share that God is still faithful.
00:33:30.559 --> 00:34:36.239
He's still good um he is worthy of of all praise and worship even in the middle of everything that we're facing so I think for me it was just yeah mostly just God help help me to walk out uh the words that I've been singing beforehand uh and to continue uh testifying to even in the middle of moments that big like it's a big moment with a loss of a dream um a diagnosis failure at any level it's so big that it doesn't feel manageable and I do think like it all you and Carter I don't know how you how how you see this but I often feel like we default to it's a binary decision about control.
00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:50.559
Like it's either I'm fully surrendered or I got hold of the wheel and most people decide I'm gonna try to hold the wheel right I'm gonna hold the wheel because there is a level of like vulnerability.
00:34:50.800 --> 00:34:58.000
I wonder if there's like a third way though where you just it's more about a posture the way in which we enter into these things.
00:34:58.079 --> 00:34:58.800
Do you know what I mean?
00:34:58.880 --> 00:36:29.519
Like um I'm gonna be faithful uh I'm gonna step into this thing it's what I hear you describing and I'm trying to put words to it but I'm gonna show up faithfully I have a vision about uh what I believe to be true even if the circumstances don't align fully because I don't understand the fullness of this whole picture I'm just gonna be faithful to to this vision of how I see uh this God how he will show up I'm just gonna be faithful but I'm not gonna try to control the outcome like this third way of like faithfully showing up today um and cannot control the outcome because you can't you were the there's lots of situations in our lives where we can't control outcomes you were facing as stark a decision in terms of understanding I you you don't you can't perform the surgery you had to sit in a lobby like you you weren't there you are literally out of control and yet when I hear you talk about it there's something in the process of a posture of but I am going to be faithful I'm gonna show up um in these spaces in very specific ways and I'm not gonna try to control the outcome um I don't know there's something I think I think about people who are listening to this who are facing some something similar like a loss of a dream and you know how do they how do they learn from what you learned?
00:36:29.679 --> 00:36:36.079
How do you describe hey this how you get through the days because I would imagine those days are long days.
00:36:36.719 --> 00:37:33.679
Yeah oh yeah uh I mean I I I think for us it was it was that choice of like whether it was a song or a prayer or just a a moment in the word with God like like faithfulness to show up to those moments uh the songs the prayers uh the scripture like they they became actual tangible like no I I get this when I'm singing a song like from Bethel um Faithful to the End um where Paul McClure is singing this lyric of that God is faithful no matter what like to the end um we we believe it and and ironically like this was one of those songs that like became a prayer and an anthem like that I would sing in the car I would sing at home I would sing at church and it like but his brother on the other side of the country his daughter was born with the same same thing.
00:37:33.760 --> 00:40:41.039
And so like this ability to sing through a song like that and and have it become a prayer for us and to say God you you are faithful no matter what um it was a choice of not saying hey God I'm like not even to try and manipulate God hey I'm I'm gonna reach out to you for you to do this thing like it's in God's hands no matter what but like I'm not forcing God's hand to take away or to give uh life in these moments it's just me showing up and God just saying the truth that that he is faithful no matter what uh and then starting you know just the beauty of getting to walk into this world that's unexpected is that you know it opens up a world of people that we would have never imagined or um gotten to know otherwise and we've we've got to meet other beautiful kids that are that are like Elsie and to walk alongside them and their families and Amanda's been the most beautiful champion of this where she's been able to connect with so many Amanda is your wife Amanda my wife has connected with families all over the country um because of this and because of Elsie's story and um I think just the ability like you don't know what what God's going to do when you decide to show up with hands open and going God I'm going to have hope in spite of all the numbers that are thrown at me in spite of the diagnosis in spite of the dream that feels lost and and God's going to along this path start to bring others along that you go oh my goodness Robert we would we would have never gotten to know this this little boy Robert um and this other girl Malin where um they took a picture together as these little kids of just um these heart warriors that they they got to know each other from children's hospital and getting to fight through the same diagnosis together um and they got to get together just a few weeks ago um all of them 10 years old now um and just just a testament of of God's goodness of just um the things that God can do when you when you decide to have a spirit of um yeah of resilience and just like God please like give me strength um not for tomorrow not for a month from now give me strength for today um that I can walk through the moments that that you're here with me in and I I think day by day like God continues um to show and prove faithful just with with the small things and I I think that's for us like that's that's where yeah we we made our money was just showing up with in in the small things of like God we're we're here to to pray with you this morning that's all we can do we don't have much else to do um you know when when a car breaks down in the middle of the highway there's not much else you can do then pray it's like for first car ride home all right well God protect us here in this moment like what else can you do?
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:55.039
Yeah I love that one belief drives everything around here if Jesus was right about God, life and the soul then it makes sense to rearrange our lives around what he said is true.
00:40:55.280 --> 00:40:56.880
Ready for the next step?
00:40:57.119 --> 00:41:56.320
Well follow is a 30-day guided study one reading a day one practice a day on your own or with other people and by day 30 you'll not just be learning about Jesus you'll be living differently going deeper from there with 30 day guides on prayer and so much more to come so if you're interested in taking a next step visit follow theway dot church and start your guide this week Jeremy there's a you know the you know this like the text it's like Exodus 36 and it's throughout the Hebrew scriptures but God will say something like you know I'm a I'm the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob you know and yeah it's three three patriarchs but it's also um in in so many ways I think it's like say stating um I'm the God of Abraham or I'm a God of promise.
00:41:56.719 --> 00:42:07.199
Like I'm a God that makes promises, a God who uh told you um you know um you are going to be a father of multitudes.
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:19.039
Like and then it's like a God of Isaac which is just this um kind of the the the actual promise in the flesh like it it's it's the provision.
00:42:19.360 --> 00:42:23.360
It's like the truth that God promises and God provides.
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And then you have the God of Jacob which is you know the God of transformation like um the deceiver to Israel you know just this and then just those like three names it's like uh a reality of this God of promise and a God who provides and a God who transforms.
00:42:42.800 --> 00:42:59.199
And you know I think when I hear you talking about singing that song um from Bethel or I hear you talk about the scriptures or the prayers it's like you're you're really laying into the promise and and believing in what God can provide and the hope of the transformation.
00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:04.000
So it's like this really beautiful thing in like the first three generations of the the Hebrew people.
00:43:04.239 --> 00:44:04.079
Anyways I say all that to go um I'm sure there was like many moments where what God provided was his presence or what God provided was a a moment of peace or what God provided was um something in the in the in the current moment but it wasn't like the ultimate what you wanted to be provided or how I I I think for I think for many people probably listening they kind of live I know God's promises I know and yet I feel like what God's providing right now isn't isn't what maybe my heart desires fully um how'd you wrestle with that or what like words would you give to to to say someone to to continue to you know keep cracking on.
00:44:04.239 --> 00:44:17.440
But then also I'd say for anybody who is wrestling through this, what is something that you wish people would have never done or never said um in their attempts to be helpful?
00:44:17.599 --> 00:44:24.320
And you you're probably like, hey, don't ever talk about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to someone who's walking through this, you know?
00:44:24.880 --> 00:44:25.360
Bingo.
00:44:26.079 --> 00:44:26.400
Yeah.
00:44:27.360 --> 00:44:32.960
But like, is there something that would be that you go, man, this is this is what was helpful.
00:44:33.519 --> 00:44:39.199
This is what was not as helpful for for for people who are walking through this, at least from your experience.
00:44:39.599 --> 00:44:40.880
Yeah, I mean two things.
00:44:41.039 --> 00:44:53.599
One, look look for the the th the unexpected blessings, where it's just like I I wasn't expecting like, you know, we weren't expecting the blessing to be a heart surgeon.
00:44:53.760 --> 00:44:57.360
Uh that wasn't the thing that we were looking to be our story.
00:44:58.400 --> 00:44:59.039
But Dr.
00:44:59.199 --> 00:45:01.199
Mitchell was a blessing.
00:45:01.840 --> 00:45:11.679
In disguise, he ended up being this miracle worker, this hand um that was able to represent the hand of God operating on our heart our daughter's heart.
00:45:12.960 --> 00:45:19.039
And so there's there's there's going to be things in our path that we just go I wasn't looking for that.
00:45:19.199 --> 00:45:22.800
I wasn't wanting that but thank you God for Dr.
00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:47.199
Mitchell thank you for this person that devoted their life to helping these children and their his ability to to work in ways that I can't and we're we're just so grateful for these these unexpected blessings that we are grateful for the moment in which we live where that's a possibility.
00:45:47.360 --> 00:46:15.280
We're grateful and we see it as a blessing that we were happened to be in a place where we have one of the top five heart um surge surgery places in the world where someone like Elsie can receive the type of care uh that she can get and um so I I would I would start there was just like what are the things where it's like God I'm I'm in the middle of this moment but there are blessings that are in disguise right now.
00:46:15.440 --> 00:46:22.079
Help me open my eyes to see what what you see um and reveal it to me.
00:46:22.800 --> 00:46:30.559
And I I think the other thing is just like whether it's that unexpected blessing um but sometimes it's the blessings that they're not disguised.
00:46:30.639 --> 00:48:59.360
We just we just haven't been looking around and I think for us it was um sometimes that that community that family that was around us that sometimes we we take for granted um the the ability the proximity to have you know my parents Amanda's parents um and so many people around us so the ability to all of a sudden like we're falling into this place of of unexpected journeys with with health and everything else where all of a sudden like Amanda's parents opened up um and said well we're we're gonna go buy a new home and we're gonna build out a a basement for for you and your family to be able to to live with us and um the amount of prayer and outpouring that took place just something that like we take we took for granted just from the aspect of like growing up in these Christian families and um prayer being a thing that's like yeah you you do that you're a Christian you pray um but again it became like oh my goodness thank you God that I have my mom and Amanda's mom these incredible prayer warriors praying over um my my my daughter before she goes into surgery and that it's just been unceasing prayer um since the moment that we found out about this diagnosis and just and learning um some of the history of of my family has just been like one of those things where it's like oh my goodness God you you have placed prayer up upon the hearts of of my grandmother who has been praying since a young child who didn't grow up in a family that that knew the Lord but like she she learned to to pray as a young girl and just so having these these gifts like oh my goodness we we are being sustained on on the prayers of the faithful around us and I think it's one of those blessings that we we discovered by just starting to look around and and notice that like oh my goodness like God you've been here all along um and whether it's this community that that we we absolutely needed and sometimes we just sometimes forget it's like oh there you are here's a blessing um and you know as Matt Redman sings about 10,000 reasons there there are so many reasons uh to thank and bless God for for what he's doing in our lives that sometimes we get kind of consumed by but you're not I'm not seeing blessing in this one specific thing.
00:48:59.679 --> 00:49:00.320
Isn't that true?
00:49:00.480 --> 00:49:11.119
I've been thinking about this a lot about and I think what you're describing fits in this our wiring towards God's daily provision.
00:49:11.280 --> 00:49:14.800
The idea that God give me enough grace just for today.
00:49:15.039 --> 00:50:40.480
Which in many ways as you describe it it's like you go through hard days right you had plenty of those and I know uh there was a season in my life where I really did struggle with anxiety and one of the lies that I would um tell myself is like I barely got through today how am I gonna get it get through 400 more days of 400 days worth of grace in order to get through it and that's the way our brain works and I think as I've I've been in Matthew for a while just studying you know and and Jesus in Matthew 6 lays out you know give us this day our daily bread like he he gives he says hey we should be praying not for storehouses not for grace for 400 days because you know there's something to this reality I can't experience yesterday's grace or tomorrow's grace uh today I can only experience it today.
00:50:40.559 --> 00:50:43.760
And then if you fast forward he talks about trouble too like you're gonna have trouble.
00:50:43.840 --> 00:50:46.480
It's almost like well you can't experience tomorrow's trouble today.
00:50:46.639 --> 00:50:55.519
You can only experience grace and trouble in that day right and these provisions I'm gonna give you enough today to get through today.
00:50:55.760 --> 00:51:18.079
And I think there's a learning in that at least it has been for me where it's like um trusting the provision even on the hardest hardest days to be like okay I'm gonna find like a reason to get through today like the relationship that the food that someone brought over the there's days where it was like it the sunshine was enough.
00:51:18.400 --> 00:51:18.559
Okay.
00:51:18.639 --> 00:51:20.239
It was the sunshine was enough.
00:51:20.400 --> 00:51:23.039
I'm like okay I I it's enough it was great.
00:51:23.199 --> 00:51:31.599
The walk across the parking lot was enough this sounds crazy but um the football game that I get to watch tonight, it'll be enough, right?
00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:59.280
Like just learning how to get through a day and I think that's the prayer and the truth is nothing leads us to that prayer more than when we find ourselves in trouble when we're in moments where we're like I can't it's I I I just have to find my way through today and trust in God to be like, hey you're gonna give me enough for today and that's all I need.
00:51:59.440 --> 00:52:00.559
I just need to get through today.
00:52:00.719 --> 00:52:01.679
Give me enough today.
00:52:01.840 --> 00:52:30.239
And I hear that in your story like this ability to sit in today the relationship today the thing I found today and uh I think there's something in that learning and trouble does that forces us to learn that or I mean gives us the opportunity to learn that yeah for sure absolutely I I think the beauty is is that like when when you live in today you you get to have great relationships with the people that are in today with you today.
00:52:30.400 --> 00:52:39.440
And sadly I've learned Amanda's much better than this than I am like I am hor if you're not in my life today I'm terrible at texting people.
00:52:39.599 --> 00:52:41.679
I'm terrible at like I was wondering about that.
00:52:41.760 --> 00:52:45.119
Yeah I see a text today.
00:52:45.519 --> 00:53:13.840
Well yeah people people that like from from you know from school from you know like when I was in college peep just these old connections from from the church that we were at in Florida um and you know it's one of those things where it's like today is hard enough and sometimes I'm not great at like reaching out but like we've seen like people reach out that were long forgotten in our minds not because we didn't love them but just because today was what we were worried about.
00:53:14.800 --> 00:54:01.280
And when when Elsie came along it was like oh my goodness this person that I haven't thought of in um man forever just reached out um a person that I haven't seen since high school uh we have all of a sudden connected and it turns out you know there a gal that we went to high school with uh had walked through a very similar journey having a daughter um that was born with the same condition and um just the way that God connects people um it man it's just it's it's unreal to see how God moves and again just like this a idea of being able to live in the moment and God we're we're here to face the challenges of today but also to receive your blessings that you have for us today.
00:54:01.519 --> 00:54:09.039
And like what what a gift that these people will come along our path and God will bless us in these unique and beautiful ways.
00:54:10.159 --> 00:54:32.880
We we're just honestly it's it's a testimony of again God's grace his mercy um just in the most unexpected most beautiful ways that we don't always ask for um I would never think to ask for um but God in his goodness knew that like this this would be the journey and we're so grateful for it.
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Bro I'm I appreciate a ton uh love you a ton thanks for being on the podcast and sharing a little bit of your story encouraging people teaching us how to crack on right but not crack on to not crack on to no sorry yeah I will say this Jeremy as someone who's like been super blessed by the way that you lead worship and just past through a room um you know you're just one of those guys that you um are reminded oh people are going through a lot more than you can always recognize at face value but also the way that you have ministered and pastored and led in this season um man just makes me think just and I thought already so highly of you but just so high of your character and your faith and your trust and um in God and um so just from the bottom of my heart thanks for sharing your story and inspiring me um just uh today so grateful for you bro thanks man appreciate that thanks bud appreciate you so that's gonna do it for today if something landed for you in this conversation don't just let it sit take it with you carry it into your week talk about it with someone let it do something in you and if you want to go deeper click on the link in the show notes we'll be back soon with more so until then keep rearranging keep following it