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00:00:25.631The leader's responsibility inside their organization is to foster strong relationships with their team, Welcome to First Lead you, a podcast dedicated to building leaders, expanding their capacity, improving their self-awareness through emotional intelligence and developing deeper understanding of selfless leadership.
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00:00:32.073Hello America and welcome to First Lead U where we believe selfless leadership is essential.
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00:00:35.990America is suffering a leadership crisis.
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00:00:42.447Self-awareness and emotional intelligence is the key to developing selfless leaders.
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00:00:46.334Now here is personal growth coach John Ballinger.
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00:00:49.924Hello leaders, my name is John Ballinger.
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00:00:51.767I'm with First Lead U.
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00:00:56.307I'm here today with my trusted co-host, mr Douglas Ford.
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00:00:57.972Good afternoon, john.
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00:01:01.183How are you today, douglas?
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00:01:03.631This is a tough podcast.
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00:01:13.055It's going to be some raw conversation, but I'd like to readdress an R, oh, okay.
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00:01:22.290So we were kind of originally scheduled to go with results today as our last R, but you want to back up and pick up something we've already talked about.
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00:01:22.730I do.
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00:01:27.390I want to go back to the first R in our acrostic chart, which is relationship.
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00:01:35.046Um, just got back from some R and R Then rest and relaxation.
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00:01:36.631That's what they're going to ask them.
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00:01:41.471Yeah, just keep my rap speed and did a lot of reflection.
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00:01:46.503A lot of so maybe the R and R you can could be R, R and R, R R and.
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00:01:46.602R.
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00:01:50.367Yeah, exactly, but a lot happened while I was gone.
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00:02:01.191A lot had started happening Then I left and then a lot happened while I was gone and it really made me pause and think about.
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00:02:06.012Firstly, because you and I both are faithful people.
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00:02:08.307We've talked about our faith on this podcast.
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00:02:20.295I literally started praying like Lord, why did you burden us with all the other things we have going on in business Helping people?
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00:02:32.650Why did you burden us to start this podcast, which will begin season four very soon, with things that I started sensing 10 years ago?
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00:03:08.889And then, when you and I met and really started working closely together, you really highly encouraged me to get this out of my head and out in the public, and so I was reflecting on all of that, given the fact of the events going on in America in the past few weeks up until Charlie Kirk's assassination, how America has reacted to that, and in many ways, you saw divisiveness at its worst.
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00:03:13.635I mean you saw hatred, you saw anger.
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00:03:19.171I mean there there was a portion of this that you saw where people talk about.
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00:03:32.699You know, it brought people together and there's a revival and we're not going to forget Charlie and all these things I don't want to seem skeptical about what's happened.
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00:03:38.431I don't want Charlie Kirk's assassination to just be forgotten 90 days from now.
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00:03:57.245I don't want to do it, but if the leaders in America do not seize America and start teaching us how to have relationships with each other even though we made this agree, we're going to continue down this road and it's going to.
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00:03:59.629Yeah, absolutely, I mean.
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00:04:02.253I mean you're talking about, you know, several things have been happening.
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00:04:27.485I mean we can go back and just some of the preliminary research we did related to this and just trying to recall just events that's happened this summer, which you can go back much further and pull up different examples, but there's four key examples that we were able to identify that are just like why, why do these things happen?
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00:04:32.370And a lot of it is about divisiveness.
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00:04:36.750Some of it's just out of, and we talked about this in a meeting the other day.
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00:04:41.232I mean there is certainly an element of evil in the world.
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00:04:49.166Some of it just has to do with evil being evil, but regardless, you're absolutely correct.
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00:05:11.831I mean the state of relationships in America between all interconnected parties male, female, co-workers, political parties, I mean, however you want to slice the relationship by, it is definitely breaking down very quickly, right?
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00:05:12.793Very quickly.
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00:05:27.098So I was actually on the R&R and I was in prayer, I was in reflection, I was in prayer, I was in reflection, I was in journaling.
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00:05:34.634There was a lot going on, plus calls, texts, people, you know, what do you think, what do you, you know?
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00:05:44.795And I just had this impression that we are now living in a society of portable relationships.
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00:05:55.375That was the word portable and I thought, man, that's a terrible way to describe what a relationship is in America.
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00:05:57.706So when you say portable relationship, what are you?
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00:05:59.622Yeah, so what?
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00:06:08.314What got me to thinking about it is it's so easy right now to just unfriend some.
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00:06:21.644I mean on social media, if somebody doesn't agree with what somebody else says, we will just click a button and we will go from friends quotation friends to now I'm unfriending.
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00:06:44.682Now I'm unfriending I mean just the spatial awareness that you psychologically make a decision to hit a screen on some type of device or click something that says I no longer want to be friends with that person who I was previously friends with because of whatever Right, previously friends with because of whatever right.
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00:06:53.360And so we almost get numb to what a relationship is and what we should be doing to foster relationships and to create relationships.
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00:07:03.170And we've got statistics of college students that are graduating that have had no formal relationship at that point as high school.
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00:07:17.547I mean imagine going from middle school, high school all the way through college and saying I've never had a relationship of any type with a another, uh, party, from a, from a male, female relationship.
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00:07:24.021That's foreign to people like you and I like we don't understand that Right.
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00:07:25.612Foreign to people like you and I like we don't understand that right.
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00:07:28.843But society's at a point and and I can only start thinking about.
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00:07:29.985There's trust issues.
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00:07:36.704There's I don't know how to for issues and this isn't.
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00:07:39.507This is not a scripted uh podcast, by the way.
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00:07:44.213This is this is raw off our hearts and minds.
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00:08:10.619If I was women in America right now, I would be very cautious about having a relationship with another guy with the state of men in America right now about some informal surveys that were conducted in another organization that were connected to where young people, teenagers.
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00:08:15.971one of their major concerns, one of the things that they wanted to know more than anything else is how do we talk to each other?
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00:08:27.630Because they, both sets of teenagers males and females both indicated that being able to talk to people of the opposite sex was an issue.
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00:08:29.153They.
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00:08:41.187They even told us we're happy with sitting across the same table texting to have a conversation, but we don't know how to put that phone down and say the same words across the table.
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00:08:43.532I mean that's something we were doing.
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00:08:50.480We're like gosh, like pop it out and read it and just do something to communicate with that person.
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00:08:51.686Like we don't even know how to do that.
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00:09:19.592So I really felt like that it would be good to come back and readdress the first R in our acrostic chart, which is relationship, because what I'm seeing and what is really being laid out is we functionally, psychologically, emotionally, do not know how to have relationships with people, especially those that we have some sort of different view of.
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00:09:20.924We don't know how to do that.
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00:09:43.633Now here's and we always read the definition of the I'm going to go back definition of relationship the way in which two or more concepts, objects or people are connected, or the state of being connected, which means if we don't know how to connect, we're disconnected.
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00:09:51.003Don't know how to connect, we're disconnected.
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00:10:06.855When I say portable something, as in my mind, I see so many gas stations and fast food restaurants being drop off for kids where parents are divorced and I see those kids get out of the vehicle with their bags and go into the next parent's vehicle and get in.
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00:10:08.181That's portable.
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00:10:13.648They're living a portable family life between parents and step-parents.
00:10:13.648 -->
00:10:20.350You can friend and unfriend somebody very easily.
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00:10:24.607That's a portable friendship relationship.
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00:10:28.057The statistics we have here prove out.
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00:10:30.202We're not even going to get married.
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00:10:36.914We want to be able to portably come home, say I'm done, I found somebody else.
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00:10:37.938This got hard.
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00:10:40.716Let me just pack my bag and leave.
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00:10:44.133Think about how portable we've come.
00:10:44.133 -->
00:10:50.183It's no wonder we can't have what what the cross stick chart says.
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00:10:56.062This is what we put out beside it Strong connection that create lasting impact.
00:10:56.062 -->
00:10:58.875That's what it says next to relationship on our chart.
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00:11:08.433If you can't, if you can't, have strong connections that create lasting impact, because everything's portable what's it going to do to society?
00:11:08.433 -->
00:11:10.600It's going to do exactly what's going on right now.
00:11:10.600 -->
00:11:16.875There is no strong connection at all, and I'm talking about society.
00:11:17.576 -->
00:11:18.977Now let's get to the leader.
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00:11:28.466The leader's responsibility inside their organization is to foster strong relationships with their team.
00:11:28.466 -->
00:11:37.304So let's say it's the CEO, the owner, and he has six people that are directly reporting to him or her.
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00:11:45.039Their responsibility is to foster relationships with that group of people that then do a waterfall effect throughout the organization.
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00:12:02.962If the CEOs, the owners, the executives do not know how to create relationships, then it's not going to go to the next tier and on down the line and the calls that I would get with just the social, what do we do about social media policy?
00:12:04.171 -->
00:12:07.441Because somebody in our organization said such and such, and now do we do it.
00:12:07.441 -->
00:12:09.056And I was like well, what's the handbook?
00:12:09.056 -->
00:12:10.812Say, what do you mean?
00:12:10.812 -->
00:12:11.355What's the handbook?
00:12:11.355 -->
00:12:13.374Say, well, what's your social media policy?
00:12:13.374 -->
00:12:18.336Say in your handbook that they sign oh, we don't have that, which goes back to risk.
00:12:18.336 -->
00:12:29.899I mean, so there's all these things going on inside the organization and the speed with which the deterioration of relationships is taking place in America is outpacing our ability to understand what to do.
00:12:29.899 -->
00:12:36.844It's like we've lost both engines and we're heading straight to the ground and nobody's got parachute.
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00:13:23.570Yeah, and you talk about that in terms of relationship and you think back to some other time in American history and even probably still today, in a lot of different type of trades, there's this role called an apprentice, right, and which is where somebody wants to learn a trade or learn something, and so they come alongside, beside somebody and basically another word for that would be their mentor that walks them through these different scenarios and helps them understand, like here's how you handle things as you, as you mature through your, your journey to this, you know, to understanding this task or this skill or whatever it is, journey to this, you know, to understanding this task or this skill or whatever it is.
00:13:23.570 -->
00:13:33.337But you know, and that's so, that's kind of an artificial relationship where you've got someone who's supposedly a senior person with that skill set teaching someone who is less skilled that but wants to learn.
00:13:33.337 -->
00:13:51.966But there's nothing like that that exists in quote, unquote real life, where you know I mean, certainly you can have a mentor, but it seems like that that opportunity and those walls are getting um, less you know the ability to do that it's less and less frequent.
00:13:51.966 -->
00:13:59.953There's more and more walls being built to keep that from happening and um, just the idea of even asking people to be your mentor.
00:13:59.953 -->
00:14:03.797Like you know, we've done episodes on this before.
00:14:04.456 -->
00:14:22.648I think back to TW Franciscan who, from season one, when he spoke at our first, first Lead you conference, he talked about the qualities that he outlined and kind of the mission that he went on to find a mentor that he thought could help him achieve what he wanted to achieve.
00:14:22.648 -->
00:14:31.533And he did that by watching people and kind of understanding them and their personality.
00:14:31.533 -->
00:14:40.529But are we even thinking about those things just from a pure business standpoint, of creating those types of relationships to grow strength in an organization?
00:14:40.529 -->
00:14:42.525And I would say most of the time we're not.
00:14:42.889 -->
00:14:45.416Yeah, I don't even think you know.
00:14:45.416 -->
00:14:47.441Just talking about the apprenticeship program.
00:14:47.441 -->
00:14:58.561Here in Chattanooga, tennessee, not too far from here, there's the IBEW International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers.
00:14:58.561 -->
00:15:01.797There's an apprenticeship program over there.
00:15:01.797 -->
00:15:13.322Why would it be important for someone that doesn't know anything about electricity to go through that program and be a journeyman and be an apprentice and then have a journeyman?
00:15:13.322 -->
00:15:15.453Why would that be important?
00:15:16.596 -->
00:15:17.798because it could kill somebody.
00:15:17.798 -->
00:15:19.542It could kill somebody it's not done right.
00:15:19.701 -->
00:15:22.533Electricity is a is a powerful right.
00:15:22.533 -->
00:15:25.318Yeah, plumbers do it, machinists do it.
00:15:25.318 -->
00:15:27.543It happens in the aviation world.
00:15:27.543 -->
00:15:37.591If we do it on trades like that, why wouldn't we do it in the leadership across what we call the four pillars?
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00:15:45.799We should have mentorship programs for dads, for pastors, for business leaders and for government officials.
00:15:45.799 -->
00:15:59.466Just because you became elected, because the people said we're electing you, does that automatically flip some switch in you that makes you competent to be the leader that you need to lead to the people?
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00:16:00.188It does, unfortunately it the people.
00:16:00.188 -->
00:16:00.350It does.
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00:16:01.695Unfortunately, it does not.
00:16:01.695 -->
00:16:10.664It does not, and we are seeing that play out time and time again in all aspects of local, state and federal government.
00:16:11.610 -->
00:16:20.164And the mental requirement that individuals have for people they vote for is becoming more and more narrow.
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00:16:22.818Do you agree with me on this subject?
00:16:22.818 -->
00:16:26.059And if you agree with me on this subject, then I'm going to vote.
00:16:26.059 -->
00:16:32.201And as long as you don't disagree with me on other subjects, I'm going to vote for it.
00:16:32.201 -->
00:16:37.623And so, as opposed to like, I believe you're actually the best person for the job.
00:16:37.623 -->
00:16:47.022I might agree with you on everything, but overall, I think you have the best interest of us as your constituents at heart, versus.
00:16:47.022 -->
00:16:49.686Here's my two or three push button issues.
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00:16:51.717If you agree with me on those, I'm going to vote for you.
00:16:51.717 -->
00:16:53.176I don't care what the other guy says.
00:16:53.950 -->
00:17:09.461Other candidate guy or girl, whoever, yeah, when, when in America, when a setting Congress person makes a statement that you may have committed a crime, but that doesn't mean you're a criminal, is that's a?
00:17:09.461 -->
00:17:10.601That's a challenge for me.
00:17:10.601 -->
00:17:17.885Now, if that person has said you may have been charged but not convicted, so you're not a criminal, is one thing.
00:17:17.885 -->
00:17:19.126That's not what she said.
00:17:19.126 -->
00:17:24.798You may, you may, have committed crimes, but that doesn't mean you're not a criminal, is one thing.
00:17:24.798 -->
00:17:25.299That's not what she said.
00:17:25.299 -->
00:17:27.505You may, you may have committed crimes, but that doesn't mean you're a criminal.
00:17:27.505 -->
00:17:27.786Yeah, it does.
00:17:27.786 -->
00:17:35.951If you go out and and you're just committing, you're breaking the law, you're a criminal and you should be treated as a criminal.
00:17:36.813 -->
00:17:42.463But so, in all this doug, my mind is just racing a hundred miles an hour.
00:17:42.463 -->
00:17:45.818I want to come back after the break and I want to.
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00:18:04.934I'm going to reference an article that I found on Monday, but a week earlier I started doing research on and shared, before the article actually came out with, with America, and I'm going to tell them why we're in the state we're in and why we can't create relationships.
00:18:04.934 -->
00:18:05.575We'll be back.
00:18:14.964 -->
00:18:15.224Hello.
00:18:15.224 -->
00:18:17.186Firstly, you listeners, Douglas Ford here.
00:18:17.186 -->
00:18:25.451I want to take just a few seconds during this break to say thank you for spending a few moments with us as we discuss the challenges and opportunities of being a leader.
00:18:25.451 -->
00:18:31.634We hope that in every episode, you find some bit of information that will help you on your own personal leadership journey.
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00:19:04.270That's the number one st the word lead and the letter u dot com.
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00:19:27.118I hope you have a great day as you continue to learn to First Lead you.
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00:19:29.721Hello and welcome back to First Lead you.
00:19:29.721 -->
00:19:36.265I'm Douglas Ford, and today we are talking about we're actually revisiting relationship.
00:19:36.265 -->
00:20:03.967Relationship was the first R in our chart acrostic, but due to just the overwhelming things that have happened really kind of several major headlines since early summer that really talk about relationship, the state of relationship in America, how we as a society are dealing with broken relationships across all spectrums we decided that today would be a good day to just revisit that.
00:20:03.967 -->
00:20:45.269And it also comes on the heels of John getting back from a vacation where he said he was experiencing RRNR, which was rest, relaxation and reflection, and so before the break we'd talked a good bit about some of the causes and the state of relationships, but you left us with the idea that during your reflection time you had recalled something that has to do with reality and relationships, and so you'd been studying that, and then earlier this week an article came out that pretty much mirrored what you'd been thinking.
00:20:45.269 -->
00:20:46.474So won't you share that with us?
00:20:46.694 -->
00:20:50.440Yeah, what does that mean If I was thinking about it a week ago and an article was published?
00:20:50.440 -->
00:20:53.536The universe has a way.
00:20:53.536 -->
00:20:54.759That's strange.
00:20:54.759 -->
00:20:55.560I saw that.
00:20:55.560 -->
00:20:56.482I'm like that's weird.
00:20:57.290 -->
00:21:02.492And to be more correct to what we would say is like saw that, I'm like that's weird.
00:21:02.492 -->
00:21:05.161And to be more correct to what we would say is like maybe maybe that was divine inspiration that you received.
00:21:05.181 -->
00:21:20.962Well, I know that I was praying for the lord to show me, like, what's going on, and I know that the the term portable relationship was very clear to me, and I had images of kids being dropped off at fast food restaurants and gas stations.
00:21:20.962 -->
00:21:25.890I had, I mean, I was seeing buttons being pushed, unfriend, I mean.
00:21:25.890 -->
00:21:30.039I had all that going on in my head and I'm like so what's?
00:21:30.039 -->
00:21:31.563What's the cause of this?
00:21:31.563 -->
00:21:51.001And I started looking back at some of my old work from years ago in psychology and there was a study, uh, performed by it was a sociologist, uh, john ballard, and he it's, it's called hyper reality.
00:21:51.001 -->
00:21:52.825Let's just call the name what it is.
00:21:52.825 -->
00:21:53.891It's hyper reality.
00:21:53.891 -->
00:22:17.942And I'm gonna read the definition of the definition is is it's a simulated or artificial representation of reality that becomes more influential and compelling than actual reality itself, making it difficult or impossible this says difficult or impossible to distinguish between what's real or fake.
00:22:21.070 -->
00:22:22.857Perhaps we call that virtual reality.
00:22:22.857 -->
00:22:29.996I mean, that's certainly the goal for virtual reality is to try to it is, but here's the difference.
00:22:30.611 -->
00:22:38.962There's a big difference between virtual, because virtually you're putting on some kind of apparatus right now that takes you somewhere.
00:22:38.962 -->
00:22:45.098Hyper-reality is you're actually in it, real life, every day through.
00:22:45.098 -->
00:22:48.753And here's think about how this guy was.
00:22:48.753 -->
00:22:50.740He passed away in 2007.
00:22:50.740 -->
00:22:58.201Okay, his work is pre 1900, 1980s is when he really started.
00:22:58.201 -->
00:23:00.795Here's the four things he said.
00:23:00.795 -->
00:23:08.521We got to be very cautious about Social media, gaming, advertising and theme park.
00:23:08.521 -->
00:23:29.333Those places, those things that we can go, are going to be places that when we go to, we don't know whether we're seeing truth or reality in their minds.
00:23:29.333 -->
00:23:33.984It's and, and whoever this game is, this is real because people are going to that game.
00:23:33.984 -->
00:23:34.566It's real.
00:23:35.788 -->
00:23:40.617It's not real the truth is it's a game right, okay, that's the us.
00:23:40.919 -->
00:23:56.575I was having a hard time with following you there to start with, so so truth is this is actually what this is, or is this reality right and so the truth may be no, this is not real this is not really and the reality is that, but we're not telling that, yeah, we're not.
00:23:58.458 -->
00:24:06.898I was talking to a business owner today and he brought up the subject of, uh, the coyote and the roadrunner.
00:24:06.898 -->
00:24:11.961Now for those that are our age looney tanes.
00:24:11.982 -->
00:24:30.672Look it up on youtube but the coyote was forever trying to get the roadrunner and he was using a company store called acne acme and he would purchase things to try and blow the coyote or the the roadrunner up, or blow this rock up and have it fought.
00:24:30.672 -->
00:24:31.796It was comical.
00:24:31.796 -->
00:24:44.357However, what this business owner said was they've had to go in and edit all of that because it is now known as the most graphic, violent cartoon of its time.
00:24:44.357 -->
00:24:56.201So much so that in the Looney Tunes, when Elmer Fudd, who was hunting Bugs Bunny, had a shotgun, they've gone in and edited the shotgun to be removed.
00:24:56.201 -->
00:24:58.809I'm thinking through this.
00:24:58.809 -->
00:24:59.854He showed me this article.
00:24:59.854 -->
00:25:00.979He's just blown away by it.
00:25:00.979 -->
00:25:03.107This business, he said.
00:25:03.107 -->
00:25:07.315But at the same time, look at the video games that we're putting in kids' hands.
00:25:07.935 -->
00:25:08.215Right.
00:25:08.856 -->
00:25:09.678We're removing which?
00:25:09.718 -->
00:25:10.900are much more realistic.
00:25:10.900 -->
00:25:13.365Much more much more, much more immersive this was.
00:25:13.526 -->
00:25:14.569This was so cartoon.
00:25:14.569 -->
00:25:20.849You know they're so cartoonish, right, and they've removed that because it was violent and they're.
00:25:20.849 -->
00:25:21.613And he said that.
00:25:21.613 -->
00:25:35.012But look at this video where the guys actually inside of it, in virtual reality, walking through that with the gun, blowing people's head off, blood coming out everywhere and he said tell me what's going on with kids.
00:25:35.012 -->
00:25:36.936I'm like right right there.
00:25:36.936 -->
00:25:39.768Right, that's, that's a problem.
00:25:39.768 -->
00:25:49.335But when you get so numb and I've used I use that word a lot in society we're numb to those things right, Kids are numb.
00:25:50.217 -->
00:26:14.212They think it's simple to just hit a reset button and whatever just happened is not going to be bad anymore, because I can hit reset and start all over right, well, and we talked a little bit about this before we hit the record button, I think that numbness and and the continued evolution of the realness of things is to try to induce some reaction.
00:26:14.212 -->
00:26:30.670Right, we become numb, we up the ante, we make it more real, we make bigger effects, better effects, make it appear more realistic because we want that effect which causes us to become more numb, which means we've got to continue to turn it up.
00:26:31.311 -->
00:26:31.712What's that?
00:26:31.712 -->
00:26:32.234What's that?
00:26:32.234 -->
00:26:37.436Filters that you can do on pictures and it can make you change, and all this stuff, you know.
00:26:37.436 -->
00:26:40.050So that's a big thing on social media is all this?
00:26:40.050 -->
00:26:45.115This picture is without filters because so many people are using filters.
00:26:45.115 -->
00:26:46.832Is that really what that person looks like?
00:26:46.832 -->
00:26:50.815I don't know, you know, but let me let me go down a little bit more.
00:26:50.815 -->
00:26:52.708So I gave you the definition of hyperrealm.
00:26:52.708 -->
00:26:55.554Now this is.
00:26:55.554 -->
00:26:56.536This is some more of his.
00:26:56.536 -->
00:27:12.181This occurs because culture and media create models and images that are so saturated with simulation that they no longer point to an underlying fundamental reality instead of creating.
00:27:12.181 -->
00:27:13.407This is this?
00:27:13.407 -->
00:27:14.872Is gold quotation?
00:27:14.872 -->
00:27:17.017Real without origin?
00:27:17.017 -->
00:27:23.917Hmm, man, that is that's us.
00:27:23.917 -->
00:27:25.410That's a society right now.
00:27:25.410 -->
00:27:27.608Real without origin?
00:27:27.608 -->
00:27:29.955Artificial intelligence.
00:27:33.027 -->
00:27:35.757And he was talking about this in 1980s.
00:27:38.547 -->
00:27:39.551He was a little ahead of his time.
00:27:39.551 -->
00:27:47.891There are people that were born on this earth To be sent.
00:27:47.891 -->
00:27:50.220Does that make that make sense?
00:27:50.220 -->
00:27:50.682Yeah, this is a warning.
00:27:50.682 -->
00:27:51.304Yes, technology that make sense?
00:27:51.304 -->
00:27:53.070Yeah, like this is a warning.
00:27:53.070 -->
00:27:55.130Yes, technology's going to advance.
00:27:55.130 -->
00:27:56.683Yes, these things are going to happen.
00:27:56.683 -->
00:28:08.931But the sentinels responsibility is to warn, like be careful, because as much as things can advance, those advancements can be used against the, and they can and will be used.
00:28:11.465 -->
00:28:18.657What I had to determine on this RR and R is that I really feel like that.
00:28:18.657 -->
00:28:46.577What God has shown me, what I have been immersed in, is is I've been placed here as a Sentinel to alert and then, once the alert goes out, say now, here's what you need to do to really understand what's real and how to differentiate as a leader, because you're going to be faced every day in your business with trying to figure out is that real or is that hyper-reality?
00:28:46.577 -->
00:28:51.315And business leaders that do not spend the time.
00:28:51.315 -->
00:28:53.010I go back to our chart.
00:28:53.010 -->
00:29:05.175You have got to take that chart and literally immerse yourself in it and learn as much as you can, even if it's your entire leadership journey, mr Ford, I don't care.
00:29:06.205 -->
00:29:24.615Start at the C, and if it's your entire leadership journey and you get ready to retire and you're doing some kind of mentor protege program with the next people that are coming into leadership, you have a responsibility to learn as absolute much as you can.
00:29:24.615 -->
00:29:36.061To be the effective leader you need to be in a society that's not living in reality, and the only way you can do that as a leader is dive headfirst into this.
00:29:36.061 -->
00:29:46.807Find you a mentor, find you someone that can come alongside you, because trying to do it by yourself is going to be near impossible.
00:29:46.807 -->
00:30:03.972With as fast as things are moving, as fast as society's moving, as fast as hyper reality is moving, as fast as the division of America is moving, as fast as leadership is failing Americans is moving, if you want to stand up and be a Sentinel, you better start learning and digging in.
00:30:06.518 -->
00:30:06.738All right.
00:30:06.738 -->
00:30:07.660So let me ask you real quick.
00:30:07.660 -->
00:30:11.988You just talked about like uh, chart across it.
00:30:11.988 -->
00:30:22.454These are things that people can do, but is there something that, if I'm hearing this and I'm like, yes, I need to start, start this journey, I need to elevate this well, is super good for a leadership journey.
00:30:22.454 -->
00:30:39.632That's probably a little bit longer journey, but like, yeah, I want to take action this week.
00:30:39.632 -->
00:30:40.355What can I do?
00:30:40.634 -->
00:30:40.816Yeah.
00:30:40.816 -->
00:30:47.999So the first thing that I would say and this may seem just very generic be present and engaged.
00:30:47.999 -->
00:30:55.778We're so distracted that it's easy for things that are moving so fast to go by us and we don't even see them.
00:30:55.778 -->
00:31:09.032The more present and engaged you can be as a leader, the better it's going to be for you to really dive into this process the chart side, the development side, the journaling side.
00:31:09.032 -->
00:31:11.096You have to be present and aware.
00:31:11.096 -->
00:31:11.959It's critical.
00:31:11.959 -->
00:31:14.087Okay, that's number one.
00:31:14.087 -->
00:31:26.896Number two you have to be willing to listen to both sides of a situation in order to understand how you need to respond as a leader.
00:31:27.518 -->
00:31:35.595Don't just discount when somebody comes up to you because you think it's the way it should be in today's divisive world.
00:31:35.595 -->
00:31:44.637If you've already turned someone off inside your organization that feels like that they want to be heard, and you turn them off because of whatever reason.
00:31:44.637 -->
00:31:46.911It could be that you've heard something.
00:31:46.911 -->
00:31:49.519It could be this, that other color of their hair, I don't care what it.
00:31:49.519 -->
00:32:11.578Do not discount the leaders that have created and this is, this is my opinion, mr ford leadership in america has created a lot of the divisiveness that's going on in america because they failed to listen to both sides effectively determine a path forward and then communicated that path forward effectively.
00:32:11.578 -->
00:32:13.631There's a huge problem with that.
00:32:13.631 -->
00:32:15.691So stop and listen.
00:32:15.691 -->
00:32:25.770So if you're aware, so you're attentive and you stop and listen, do that and then become emotionally available.
00:32:25.770 -->
00:32:36.732Those three things be aware, stop and listen and then be emotionally available to make good decisions for the entirety of the organization.
00:32:37.213 -->
00:32:42.833So tell me a little bit more about being emotionally available, because I'm sure we all kind of bring our own definition of that.
00:32:42.833 -->
00:32:44.205What specifically are you talking about?
00:32:45.789 -->
00:33:00.934It's easy, if things aren't going our way as a leader or we have somebody that gives us some resistance, to become emotionally unstable or angry or frustrated and that's going to permeate outside your organization.
00:33:00.934 -->
00:33:08.527It's going to start with your office and it's going to go outside, into your direct reports and they're going to be frustrated.
00:33:08.527 -->
00:33:11.171And it's going to go outside direct reports and they're going to be frustrated and it's going to go outside.
00:33:11.171 -->
00:33:17.259So if you're uh, if you're emotionally void, it's going to impact your entire organization.
00:33:17.259 -->
00:33:22.069So you have to spend time and we talk about in our opening.
00:33:22.971 -->
00:33:25.678Emotional intelligence is a key.
00:33:25.678 -->
00:33:30.075We say that in our opening to leadership.
00:33:30.075 -->
00:33:31.417That's needed in America.
00:33:31.417 -->
00:33:34.972You have to practice.
00:33:34.972 -->
00:34:05.578I had a leader the other day took the emotional assessment and he scored the lowest scores I've ever seen and I felt so horrible because this is a good person who desires to be a good leader for his people and he's looking at his own test results saying, oh my gosh, no wonder I'm in the shape I'm in.
00:34:05.578 -->
00:34:16.344My team's not growing at the level they need to grow at and I'm like now they need to grow at and I'm like now we got to fix that.
00:34:20.565 -->
00:34:23.550Now, since that recognition of that on black and white paper with his answer, he is stepping up.
00:34:23.550 -->
00:34:33.833I've seen in two weeks, three weeks, whenever he shared it with me till Monday, I've seen a drastic attitude change.
00:34:33.833 -->
00:34:36.494Like I'm going to fix it.
00:34:36.494 -->
00:34:42.333I will not be born and die on this earth the train wreck of emotions.
00:34:42.333 -->
00:34:54.771The leaders have got to embrace emotional intelligence because you're dealing with a divided society with divided team members that we're not talking about.
00:34:54.771 -->
00:34:56.115They're just a little divided.
00:34:56.115 -->
00:35:15.329We're talking about total ends of the spectrum and you've got to be able to take those people in and communicate effectively to them through listening and information and make an emotional uh, this have an emotional discussion about.
00:35:15.329 -->
00:35:27.755Here's the path forward Knowing when you do, there's still going to be resistance because some of the people that came in and voiced their opinion you didn't listen to, and today everybody wants to be listened to.
00:35:27.755 -->
00:35:36.130So the leader has it's I'm, I'm, this is, this is not me begging and maybe it is me back.
00:35:37.885 -->
00:35:40.896If we're going to stop the things like we did research and we didn't, we didn't.
00:35:40.896 -->
00:35:45.786The young lady over in Charlotte that was just stabbed the?
00:35:45.786 -->
00:35:59.434Uh, I think it was a college professor down in Auburn, just drug through the woods and killed Charlie Kirk, assassinated Minnesota legislators, just shot.
00:35:59.434 -->
00:36:08.677If we're going to stop this and learn how to create relationships and learn how to respect each other, it has to start with leadership.
00:36:08.677 -->
00:36:12.855Leadership created it and leadership's got to fix it.
00:36:12.855 -->
00:36:19.574And if the leader's not willing to step up and do the hard work, then sit down and let somebody step in and do the hard work.
00:36:19.574 -->
00:36:24.105And that's my position at this point.
00:36:24.105 -->
00:36:27.054That may sound harsh, but that's my position.
00:36:27.054 -->
00:36:29.451If you're not willing to do the hard work as a leader, sit down.
00:36:29.451 -->
00:36:29.891Yeah, I think.
00:36:29.911 -->
00:36:32.117And we've talked about this before.
00:36:32.117 -->
00:36:32.539That's my position.
00:36:32.539 -->
00:36:34.644If you're not willing to do the hard work as a leader, sit down.
00:36:34.644 -->
00:37:05.869Yeah, I think and we've talked about this before all the things that we've wrapped up into the word leadership, that really don't belong in the word leadership, and we have used leadership to replace the word management, we've used the word leadership to replace several other things that don't really define what a leader is, and so now we're confused as a society, we're confused as people who look to quote unquote leaders as to what a leader actually should be, and we've said this before authority doesn't make you a leader.
00:37:05.869 -->
00:37:07.934So there's a lot.
00:37:07.934 -->
00:37:17.398There's a lot in this episode done pack for sure and to think back, and it may even be worth hitting the repeat button and getting this one again very well, maybe, but leaders listen.
00:37:17.545 -->
00:37:18.367This is important.
00:37:18.367 -->
00:37:24.619In order to lead your team well, it's imperative that you must first lead.
00:37:24.619 -->
00:37:45.833Thanks everyone, we'll be you next time.
00:37:45.833 -->
00:38:13.851I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm.
