Arabella: Hello.
Rutha Berhane: Hi everyone.
Arabella: We're back with another consistency code episode. Can we believe it's been 36 weeks? Crazy.
Rutha Berhane: 36 weeks guys
Arabella: Crazy. One topic that we've been wanting to discuss on here is why figuring it out on your own is costing you more time and energy than it's saving you. And the reason that we've been wanting to talk about this is because I hear it all the time from people saying, like I'm just gonna keep trying to figure it out on my own. I'm just gonna, you know, try this, try that. And it's something that I went through myself too before I bit the bullet and hired my first coach. I was like, I'm just gonna try figuring it out on my own. Like, you know, something's bound to stick eventually, but honestly throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping it sticks is like one of the worst things that you can do in terms of progression and ultimately you just end up feeling pretty burnt out because nothing's working. so yeah, we're we're gonna talk about this because we see it a lot and I just want to unpack it with you guys and hopefully give you some value and suggestions on how to manage it because I know it can feel very overwhelming, especially with the amount of information that is out there these days. It's like information overload. And it drives decision fatigue up a lot. But yeah, that's one of the biggest things I hear when I'm chatting with people who are on their fitness journeys, typically just starting, they're like, I'm just gonna try figuring it out on my own, because it comes down to like
Rutha Berhane: Okay.
Arabella: a hesitation to invest in themselves too, and ultimately just leaves you stuck in the exact same position that you started in. And I'm saying that from a place of having gone through that myself as well. And it wasn't until I hired my first coach that I actually started seeing real progress. I'm like, wow, crazy what can happen when you actually just let somebody else help you.
Rutha Berhane: Exactly.
Arabella: But yeah, we're living in like a time of information paradox right now. Like, you know, you open Instagram, you open TikTok, YouTube, like all of the podcasts out there. don't even get me started on Reddit. Like there's just so much information everywhere. And I actually
Rutha Berhane: Thank you.
Arabella: was having this conversation with a friend earlier too. It's like There is just so much information and it's hard to know what to believe, right? And because there's so much information out there, you know, you see one thing, you try that for a week, and then you see something else and you try that for another week. And constantly switching up your approach to your fitness journey for one is holding you back. And then secondly, just the decision fatigue in itself, knowing what to do, like second guessing yourself, wondering if what you're doing is actually working is driving a sense of frustration because it's it's just hard to know what to believe and it's it's driving confusion. And it ultimately leads to yo-yo dieting and, you know, making a little bit of progress and then moving backwards and then making a little bit of progress, moving backwards again, and then yeah, you just end up feeling super stuck and like your body's broken and like nothing's working for you.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, those are very important ones. And also, like, obviously, like you said in the beginning, this is coming from a place of also experience because we clearly have tried the doing it ourselves right. And the biggest thing is not we love having information out there that's resourceful, obviously, and helpful. But there comes a time where too much information is not helpful. It's never helpful because if you have it from all different angles, which one are you supposed to pay attention to? Because everybody does put their own spin to it because as much as there's a lot of information and resources, there's also those who want to get your attention more than others. So that little spin is going to be something different. So it's just a circle, right? That's just constantly
Arabella: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: going on.
Arabella: And like we're living in a time where social media is very, very prominent and anyone and their mom and their dog can claim to be, you know, a fitness influencer, even slap coach in their Instagram bio when they don't have any education, barely any knowledge when it comes to fitness and nutrition and hormones and everything that goes into a transformation and you know, you believe your fitness your favorite fitness influencer whose page looks super aesthetic, but like
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: do they are they actually do they actually have the credentials to be giving out fitness advice? Like oftentimes no. And but you know, you don't know any better, so you're gonna trust them. I mean, I see fitness influencers claiming Making crazy claims like as an example, like, oats are bad for you because they contain glyphosate and they're gonna give you cancer. Like just crazy statements like that that are so untrue, but then you know, you don't know any better and you so you believe it and you're like, I'm not gonna eat oats because they're bad for me, or you like sugar's gonna make me fat. Like, okay, it's not the sugar that's the issue, it's the consumption of your sugar.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: And then another issue is that you're, you know, you're following your favorite fitness influencers workout program or you know, you're following their full day of eating because they posted a full day of eating that looks appetizing to you. And you're
Rutha Berhane: Mm
Arabella: just following super generic things that are not customized to you. They're not personalized to you. And so the reason you're not making progress has nothing to do with with your knowledge, it's not because you're not smart enough. It's not because your body's broken. It's not your hormones. It's not your age. It's that you're trying to fit a program into your lifestyle that was never built for you in the first place. And that's why like one on one coaching is so so important because having programs that are custom built for you, tailored to your schedule, tailored to your goals, to your body, to your hormones, to your food preferences. Like All of that makes such a difference when it comes to seeing results. You know, this
Rutha Berhane: it
Arabella: isn't a cookie cutter thing. It's not a one size fits all approach. Like making long lasting having a long lasting transformation, making lifelong progress is not gonna happen from following a generic cookie cutter program.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, for sure. And then.
Arabella: Like Ruth's meal plan and macros are not gonna work for me, and vice versa.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. Yeah. Just because it might be the same food groups, let's say even because there is not really like that much vast difference in what we all eat, but the quantities, the what's it called? The difference of where our calories are coming from macro split
Arabella: Mm-hmm.
Rutha Berhane: wise. It's all different in such intricate ways that you have to make it individualized or you will be wasting your time more often than not.
Arabella: Yeah, yeah. And then when you're, you know, wasting time trying to figure it out on your own, like that's it's costing you a lot of time and energy, right? And time is the one resource that you cannot get back. Like every month that you spend spinning your wheels with an approach that isn't working is a month of potential progress lost. And those months very quickly compound in the wrong direction. Like You know, we're in October right now, and if you are still stuck in the same place you were in January this year, heck if you're about to roll into twenty twenty seven with the exact same New Year's resolutions that you had this past January, like think about how far you could be if you just gave the responsibility to someone else and let somebody else actually, you know, put your trust in somebody else, obviously accredited person, coach. nutritionist, whoever it is, to build you a program that's actually designed for you to actually guarantee you those results rather than spinning your wheels and trying to figure it out on your own. I see it so often, the like DIY
Rutha Berhane: Mm hmm. Yeah.
Arabella: fitness journey, like two weeks of high motivation. You're like, yes, I'm so locked in, I'm so so ready to do this. and then, you know, you hit a plateau or you have a bad week, life happens, and then you move backwards and then you go through like another period of research to try to find something better because you ended up hitting a plateau and then you try another new approach for another two weeks and then you hit another plateau and it's like this yo yo cycle. It's like this cyc this cycle that just keeps on repeating itself and suddenly six months have passed and you barely
Rutha Berhane: Okay.
Arabella: made any progress. And yeah,
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: it's a compounding it's a compounding problem. Like the right habits, the right nutrition approach. The right training stimulus when applied consistently, when you're actually being consistent with those programs, that's what's gonna drive results that are genuinely life-changing. Versus the wrong approach applied consistently over six months, like you end up frustrated. you know, you're dr you drive your thyroid into the ground, metabolic adaptation happens. sometimes physical co consequences that take even longer to reverse. Heck, that could lead me down onto the GLP conversation. Like, you know, you you hop on a GLP and then you end up with with more health issues than you had in the first place because you've been depriving yourself of essential micronutrients in your diets. That's a whole different conversation,
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: but same idea. So
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: Yeah, it's like important to ask yourself honestly, like how long have you been trying to figure this out? Three months, six months, a year, two years? Heck, even three years? And what has that time cost you in results, in energy, in mental bandwidth? Because
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: it's a mental cost too, and it's a huge mental load.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, with the time of it all too, which is people's like most thought about consequence, we also do have like the mental and physical costs that does also tie in with time, yes, but the mental cost of just DIY fitness is enormous, right? And we've all had, you know, the times where we've constantly researched, second guessed ourselves, adjusting, starting over. Mondays next month this it's just all too much and then guessing if you're just doing enough or am I doing too little but you truly just don't know and it's mostly a guessing game and at the end of the day if you're sitting with yourself constantly worrying that's also going to play a factor but I think the most stressful part is just always second guessing yourself and never feeling like you're landing on a perfect approach and Also, there's no perfect approach ever, but I think having the ability and the versatility to just pivot is also a very important aspect and what helps people kind of there's that difference of who creates the results and who doesn't.
Arabella: Wait.
Rutha Berhane: And decision fatigue is a huge thing and why we always push people to kind of look into hiring a coach, at least think about it, do your research because having to figure out every single day about your nutrition training, how much to eat, how much not to eat, what's a bad food, what does my body agree with and doesn't. So with that, you doing it constantly with work, school, or having kids or this and that, it just becomes too much and that's where people fall off the wagon most often than not because you just have to constantly think about your next move instead of having it down on paper. And also the accountability aspect that Bella said is a huge factor in what helps you, especially if the scale is not moving and you're just looking at it and it's just, hey, what's going on? Having a coach will always, always help. And this kind of stress and exhaustion does compound over time, right? Because it has the shame spiral. If you're doing it alone and it doesn't work, who are you going to turn to? Blaming your willpower is also a really big thing in this because I think we've all had a time where we're on our little fitness journey and we go out and have, you know, have a good time and we enjoy food, whatever, and we come back and the next week we don't see the scale move or something. And we're blaming our willpower in the sense of if I just said no to this one dinner, one out. I could have been that much better. And blaming yourself to that extent is so toxic, especially to your fitness journey.
Arabella: Mm. Yep. And just having yeah, having somebody else to take the guesswork out of it is so beneficial. There's a reason that even the highest level coaches still have coaches themselves. Like, you know, we could absolute we absolutely have the knowledge to make progress on our own, but we still choose to invest in a coach ourselves because we would way rather have somebody else do the decision making for us, take the guesswork out of it. And also the accountability piece, having someone to send your progress to and check in with and lean on for support every single week is so beneficial. It really takes a lot of that mental load off. And, you know, yeah, if you do have a little slip up, I mean, I wouldn't even say that like going out for dinner every once in a while is a slip up by any means. But If you go a little overboard with it, having somebody to lean on and talk through with is huge. And yeah, like Rutha had just said, like that's one of the most like damaging parts of trying to figure it out on your own. You just go into this spiral of shame and then, you know, worst case you end up in this overeating cycle where you overeat and then you try to compensate for it by eating less the next day and potentially doing more cardio and then Hunger goes up because you are doing more cardio, you're spending more energy, and then you it's like this vicious cycle. So Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, and you hear so many coaches themselves say this one specific line of after they've coached themselves for like a little bit even just to try it out is that they never tell you like, didn't know what I was doing. It's always it's exhausting. I hate doing it because it's exhausting. So even the best
Arabella: Mm-hmm.
Rutha Berhane: of the best are always going to reach out to somebody else because it's just alleviating this extra chore at that.
Arabella: Yeah, yeah, myself included. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: It is a chore. Yeah.
Arabella: Like if only you guys saw my conversations with Rutha, like I've been I've been coaching myself since the end of May, so June, July, August, September, the last four months. And I'm like, okay, like I know what I need to do, but actually getting myself to do it is another thing. And
Rutha Berhane: exhausting. Yeah.
Arabella: yes, of course like I like coaching is my full time job, you know, I've invested thousands and thousands into mentorships to make me the coach that I am, to broaden my knowledge to make sure that I'm able to give the best support to my clients. But even still, I would like to have somebody else tell me what to do and make those
Rutha Berhane: Take the reins, yeah.
Arabella: decisions for me and support me and hold me accountable. Just take the guesswork out of it. and
Rutha Berhane: Very important.
Arabella: Yeah. Honestly, like coaching is such a priority for us as well. Like, you know, we could be on on the edge of bankruptcy and dropping our coach it would probably be like one of the last things we do because it's just such a priority for us. And I think that
Rutha Berhane: 100%. Dude.
Arabella: that's that's another issue a lot of people have is honestly like It's just not a priority for them when it comes to their finances and that holds people back.
Rutha Berhane: I was literally just thinking about this today. I was talking with my friend and I'm like, honestly, I forget that other people don't have the bill of like, I have a coach. thinking
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: about it, I was like, I could actually estimate how much money I would have saved if I didn't have a coach, right? But the reason I find it so worth it is because, one, I'm investing in myself, but also I feel like I don't have to do any work. People think... but you're in the gym and you're doing this or if you're dieting, yes but I also am not sitting there saying am I gonna go to the gym tomorrow and how much cardio am I gonna do? No I have a man in my ear telling me do this, this, and this. All I have to do is just check the boxes. That to me, worth it. Worth it.
Arabella: Absolutely, absolutely. I also was having this conversation with a girl the other day. I'm like, the reason that you don't enjoy going to the gym is because you're walking in there every single day like a lost puppy. Like
Rutha Berhane: Yes.
Arabella: you don't have a plan, you're not going in there with a plan, you don't know what you're doing, you're not confident on the machine because you've never had a trainer teach you how to use these machines before or how to execute these these movements properly and you're not making any progress. And if you're not making progress, then you're not gonna feel motivated. Everybody assumes that motivation comes first. Motivation is second. Progress first, motivation second. Because once you start seeing the progress and the results, that's when you're fired up. That's when you're like, heck yes, let's keep this going because you can see the visual progress and feel the progress. But yeah, if you're walking into the gym with without a plan, with no structure, then yeah, no kidding you don't enjoy, no kidding you don't want to be there.
Rutha Berhane: 100 % 100 % I don't think I
Arabella: And you're like, hmm, maybe I'll do twenty minutes of cardio, maybe I'll do forty minutes of cardio, maybe you just won't do cardio at all because you don't have anyone holding you accountable, versus
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: if you have someone telling you, Yep, like ten K steps and twenty minutes of cardio five times a week, it's like easy done. Yep, just the box to check. Exactly.
Rutha Berhane: And here's your meals for the day. here's that's the most important one is like here's your I have never gone a day with having to think what am I going to eat today? What am I going to eat next? I already know what it's written down. That's I think such a privilege. Yes. But at the same time it's like I don't think I'm grown, but like I don't think I could survive like having to cook every single meal to be different every single day. I would under eat because
Arabella: my gosh, no.
Rutha Berhane: I'd be lazy. I would under eat.
Arabella: Yeah, and that's a huge bottleneck for a lot of people, you know? They're trying to follow all of these crazy meal prep recipes, like make the most extravagant dinners every single night. Girl, my favorite dinner is bowl. Literally bowl. Those are my meals. Bowl. Like mud bowl,
Rutha Berhane: Bull. That's literally, it's bull. Those are my favorite too. Yeah. Bull. Yeah.
Arabella: rice bowl, yogurt
Rutha Berhane: Burger Bowl.
Arabella: bowl, burger bowl, taco bowl.
Rutha Berhane: that's it. Sometimes you just,
Arabella: Ice screen ball.
Rutha Berhane: breakfast bowls, sometimes you just throw stuff in there and it's in a
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: bowl and it fire, fire.
Arabella: It always works out. Our meals are bowl.
Rutha Berhane: And they taste better in a bowl. Just side quests. Yeah. It's a little side quest for us.
Arabella: It always yes. Honestly, my plates never get touched.
Rutha Berhane: fair. I don't, yeah, I can only
Arabella: just.
Rutha Berhane: eat from a bowl or like a tupperware like to go kind of container thing can do it. I think that's just
Arabella: Yes, yeah. Yeah. The the glass Tupperware bowl is my fave.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, and people think it's so hard. Like I've gotten my friends who see this and say like, you're eating that again. And it's like, guys, you understand, like, I'm so stress free. I don't have to go to the kitchen and like, cook something up right away. Like, let me just whip up Alfredo. Like I would also if I had Alfredo right now at this time, I would shit myself. Like that's how like unusually I'm not used to it to that extent. Right. I have to
Arabella: Yes, yes, fully.
Rutha Berhane: pre plan my stomach there.
Arabella: Earl's Alfredo tastes amazing. I but ooh, that does not sit
Rutha Berhane: It doesn't feel amazing.
Arabella: in your gut very n very nicely. But yeah, and
Rutha Berhane: No, I am.
Arabella: and on that note too, when you find meals that you genuinely enjoy eating,
Rutha Berhane: Hmm.
Arabella: it's it doesn't feel like a chore to eat them. It's like, my god, I'm eating the same thing every day because
Rutha Berhane: So good.
Arabella: you found meals that you that you love. Like Beef and rice and coconut oil and salt, chef's kiss for me. Like I love that and I don't see myself ever getting sick of it. And it's so simple, but it's so good and it's often the most simple meals
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. It's his scat.
Arabella: that are the best. And I would say that like in terms of in terms of reasons why women often specifically resist getting help, like there's
Rutha Berhane: you
Arabella: this there's a large independence narrative, right? It's like I am I don't I I don't want to feel weak by asking for help,
Rutha Berhane: Thank
Arabella: you know? I wanna figure it out on my own because especially for ambitious and driven women, like Investing in a coach is almost like a sense of weakness. Like asking for help almost is feels like a sense of weakness. figuring it out yourself is like proof of capability and like being resourceful and ultimately they feel like asking for help means that they couldn't figure it out on their own when it's quite the opposite. It's like making that investment is empowering and it's like, yes, I'm I'm doing this for me to make me feel the most confident I ever have in my life. to make me, you know, look the best I ever have, to finally make the progress that and step into the woman that I've always dreamed of becoming.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, and I think people struggle to also think about it in a different aspect, right? As in, we have other people or other establishments doing stuff for us all the time. I don't see you saying, okay, Ruta, I'm gonna go and actually do my own root canal. You go to your dentist. I'm gonna go and fix my
Arabella: Literally.
Rutha Berhane: car or this. You have a mechanic. have... an accountant for your taxes. So it's just when it comes to, yeah, you, we're picking and choosing. Yeah.
Arabella: The irony is so real. It's it's actually hilarious when you frame it like that. Yeah, yeah. Imagine saying, I'm gonna try to figure out what's going on with my car on my own.
Rutha Berhane: No, like you'll
Arabella: That like
Rutha Berhane: see me at the mechanic shop 8 a.m. sharp actually so yeah
Arabella: Exactly. Exactly. Like I'm gonna move my entire house on my own. I don't wanna ask for help. I'm an independent
Rutha Berhane: No, baby, you're calling the movers right away.
Arabella: woman, I'm gonna lift everything on my own.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, being independent and you know, I think we're correlating too much of independency with letting somebody else take the reins on something or situation to just make it easier for yourself. And I think that's just a really sad thing because yes, it is taught to us by society, but not being in stress is also a very good thing for an independent woman or man because to be doing things for yourself constantly, wouldn't you want to do it stress free? To do things at your best capability, would you want it to be in stressful situation where you're just thinking about so much stuff? No.
Arabella: Yeah, and also coaching, working with a coach is so fun. Like I always get so excited for check-in day. It's like, my gosh, yes, check and date, like are you know what changes are happening? Like what is coach gonna say? Like, is he gonna
Rutha Berhane: Share everything.
Arabella: tell me that I look like shit? Is he gonna tell me that my glutes are on fire, glutes are nice and
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: full, you know? Is he gonna Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: I love feedback day, I love it.
Arabella: In prep it's a little bit terrifying and I have cried over my check-ins in prep.
Rutha Berhane: I hate it. I hate it.
Arabella: When coach is
Rutha Berhane: Yes.
Arabella: like, add another five minutes of cardio Like
Rutha Berhane: And you might, guys, you might think five minutes, five minutes when you already don't wanna be there is like five hours. Yeah.
Arabella: literally the longest five minutes of your entire life. But yeah, coaching is is a it's a really fun thing and it's also a mentorship in and of itself. You learn a lot about your body, you learn a lot about how how fitness, how weight loss, how nutrition works. like a a lot of what I've learned honestly is through my own experience working with a coach. So it's more than just yeah, it's more than just paying for like a a workout program and a meal plan.
Rutha Berhane: Yes, correct. And I don't like the conversation of, because you said that, like, you know, having a coach is actually fun and people need to stop looking at it in a form of like, hey, it's professional 25, eight, tell me what like what like what to
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: do and I'm and I'm done. But the thing is, I've I've heard and there's a reason they're not, you know, very well known coaches, but coaches saying like, I'm not, you know, here to be your friend, like your buddy. Yes. there's still that professional relationship that needs to be kept. But at the same time, it's like, these people are happy to hear about you're weak and how it went and showing your personality so that they can help you better to make sure that you're not actually miserable with what they're doing for you and more so, it's actually helping you in a positive way. So you are,
Arabella: Yes. Yes.
Rutha Berhane: indeed, you do create a friendship of some sort because you're connecting with this person constantly. So don't take it as You know, I'm just paying you to just fuck off at end of the day, you know?
Arabella: Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what I always tell my clients too. I'm like, this isn't just like me handing you a meal plan and saying, Good luck, adios, sayonara Like we're actually Yeah,
Rutha Berhane: And if that's the case, fire them.
Arabella: we're actually really developing a relationship. and it's important that, you know, we feel comfortable communicating and talking with each other because if if you feel resistance telling me what's going on internally and externally, then I can't help you. I can only help you with the information you give me and what I know. So yeah. Like yes, I understand when coaches are like, I'm not here to be your friend, because also as a coach, I'm gonna
Rutha Berhane: Okay.
Arabella: tell my clients what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. And sometimes tough
Rutha Berhane: Yes.
Arabella: love is what they need. But at the same time and yes, there needs to be boundaries in place. Like I'm not gonna
Rutha Berhane: is here.
Arabella: hop on FaceTime with you at 9 p.m. But you know, you also, yeah, you typically do always end up with a friendship out of it, which
Rutha Berhane: Thanks.
Arabella: yeah, which is cool. But yeah, in terms of other objections that that we hear a lot, obviously the financial objection, the cost of coaching, and I understand that you know it's an additional cost, but also Look at the cost of not investing in a coach. Where are you gonna be five
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: years from now? Are you gonna be deeper in your health problems and spending more on medication and medical services because you didn't make that investment in a coach five years ago? Like,
Rutha Berhane: Thank
Arabella: how much are you spending on eating out every single week? Coffees every single week.
Rutha Berhane: and
Arabella: It's like coaching is gonna cost you maybe roughly seventy-five to a hundred dollars a week. Look at the price of your Pilates membership, your yoga membership, like
Rutha Berhane: and then
Arabella: you know, eating out once a week is probably gonna run you equivalent of that coaching cost. So it's really it really does come down to priorities too. And
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: also like how much have you spent on, you know, unnecessary supplements, random programs you found online, gym memberships, meal prep services, fitness apps in the last year while figuring it out all by yourself.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. And when we say this, please do consider that if you're at a place where you generally cannot afford coaching, that's one thing, right? Because I also
Arabella: Yes, yes.
Rutha Berhane: hate when people on socials come out and sometimes they're coaches, okay? But the coaching and, you know, investing in what you eat properly and everything is a luxury. It is a privilege, right? But at the same time, if Math quickly here, if you are spending $7 to $8 every single day on that matcha, every single day, coffee every day, if you bought a $20 whatever powder to make it at home every day with some almond milk, you're saving exactly $263 a month. What does that entail? I'm saying this because I did the math for myself prior. $263, a lifestyle coach is going to cost you two something. There you go. So we're talking about that portion and not, you have children and you're, you know, like don't struggle to make ends meet because you want to coach. It's not going to take any more stress off of you. It's going to make it worse. But if you have that priority
Arabella: Yeah, exactly.
Rutha Berhane: and working towards it, that's better than just sitting there and doing nothing.
Arabella: Exactly, exactly. And at least, you know, go go about having the conversation with a coach. So, you know, you can have a game plan mapped out for you when you are in a position where you're able to make that investment into coaching.
Rutha Berhane: But don't be buying a coffee every day and telling me I just can't afford a coach. You're holding a nine dollar drink! What are you talking about right now? Yeah.
Arabella: Literally, literally. You're telling me you go out to eat every Friday and Saturday and you're buying a sixty dollar
Rutha Berhane: Those cocktails are flying.
Arabella: bottle of wine, appies, entree, dessert.
Rutha Berhane: I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out.
Arabella: Yeah, don't even get me started.
Rutha Berhane: There's things that we can cut back on always. I would know. Because I had
Arabella: Yeah. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: to do that. So please. Yeah.
Arabella: Totally. And yeah, and just think about like the changes when you stop going about it alone, you know, you have that sense of
Rutha Berhane: Thank you very much.
Arabella: clarity. instead of choosing between fifty conflicting approaches, you have one clear plan designed for you, your goals, your life, your body. And that sense of decision fatigue disappears almost immediately. Also, like we've already talked about accountability, you know, changes your behaviors in ways that self motivation is never going to. Feedback loops, compress the timeline dramatically. Figuring out on your own that a specific approach isn't working for you might take three months, like we just mentioned as well. Versus a coach is gonna identify that in two weeks, if not one week, and make those adjustments. And so the compounding effect of faster feedback over twelve months is enormous. And then that's when you start to feel more motivated and it goes on and on and on.
Rutha Berhane: Correct. Correct. And in the same breath, it's like one to know, you know, it's time to stop going at it alone is, you know, if you've been at this for more than six months or even six months, because we all know that results, real results to hold and show progress is six months, which is honestly time flies anyways, if you've been at this and
Arabella: Mm-hmm.
Rutha Berhane: The results do not reflect the time. That's when it stops, to stop going alone and figure it out with a second opinion. And you spend your time researching what to do every single day, still going on, even after the six months, it's still happening. You've started more than twice in the last year. We started taking a gap, came back. It's not even... just the, I'll be back Monday, but just numerous times a year, you have these new goals that are by the end not being reached, right? You feel like you know what to do, but you're still not doing it consistently. It's just this back and forth and just the scale is not moving. Nothing's working. You have to understand that that's the time to just pause and say it's time to involve somebody else.
Arabella: If you are somebody who says, I know what I need to do, I'm just not doing it, then my question for you is okay, if you know what you need to do, then why have you not been doing it? Why have you not made the progress that
Rutha Berhane: And why are you panicking every day then?
Arabella: you wanted to? Yeah. Telling yourself why are you listening to this? Telling yourself you know what you need
Rutha Berhane: And why are you stressed right now then? Why are stressed?
Arabella: to do is like. The biggest excuse for I actually have don't have a fucking clue what to do, but I just don't wanna have somebody else help me with it. So I'm gonna try to figure it out on my own until I do. And let me tell you one thing, sorry to break it to you, you're not gonna figure it out on your own. Like nope, I
Rutha Berhane: So that's it, right? Got it.
Arabella: didn't. Heck, I would not be where I am today the entire trajectory of my life changed when I hired my coach. And that is not even a s exaggeration in the slightest.
Rutha Berhane: But yeah.
Arabella: Yeah. And it's also like I always like to remind people this isn't just a physical journey. You know, people get caught up in the physical transformation and how your body's gonna look, but it's also such a mental and spiritual and lifestyle transformation. You know, you learn a lot about yourself, you learn a lot about how you man manage stress, you learn a lot about mentally what's going on. I will say for my coaching program specifically, it's very focused on the hormonal side of things, what's going on with your body internally. It's very focused on the mental side of things, understanding why your brain works the way it does, why you're making certain decisions, how you're managing certain situations. Like it's not just about the physical. Yes, it's a big piece, but it's not just about the physical. So yeah.
Rutha Berhane: Exactly. And, you know, at the end of the day, it's just figuring it out. Figuring it out on your own isn't resourceful if it's keeping you stuck, right? Always,
Arabella: Exactly.
Rutha Berhane: yeah, the most efficient path for your goal is usually going to be the one where somebody knows the way to show you instead of the blind leading the blind. It could be the blind led by the seeing, you know, to put it simply. Yeah. the blind leading the blind. Yeah.
Arabella: Yeah, I love that saying. I love that saying. Yeah. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: My favorite thing, my favorite insult.
Arabella: So if you are looking to hire a coach, it's important that you know what to look for in a coach as well. So if you are doing consult calls with coaches, well first of all make sure that you do a consult call and you know, you don't just hire the first person
Rutha Berhane: Yes.
Arabella: you come across or your favorite influencer. You wanna make sure that you vibe with them and you like their approach and you understand exactly what you're gonna be getting yourself into. so make sure you know you're looking for someone who asks questions before just handing a program to you. It's obviously key to know about your goals, your dieting history, your training history, your lifestyle your preferences because like I already mentioned, this isn't a cookie cutter approach. Everything should be completely tailored to you one on one.
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: and a coach who gives everyone the same plan is that's not coaching. That's literally not coaching, that's just templating. That's just yep, here you go, here's the plan.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: And that's when you're gonna end up stuck and have a negative coaching experience. And also make sure that. The coach that you're hiring is super transparent about everything, you know. Ask questions like what's the first month gonna look like? how's progress gonna be measured? what happens if things aren't working? Ask all of these questions on the call. Don't be afraid to ask questions and yeah, be really clear on what you're getting yourself into. And last thing I'm gonna say is make sure you're working with someone who has proof, testimonials.
Rutha Berhane: Yes. You
Arabella: Transformations and not just yes. And this isn't to
Rutha Berhane: have look at a roster. You have to look at a roster, yeah. And the thing is...
Arabella: say they need to have like hundreds of transformations. I don't even have that, but just quality and you know, even
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, just quality ones.
Arabella: go and talk to their current clients and see how they like
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: their experience and get real feedback that way. Because like I
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: said, oftentimes your favorite influencer is not gonna be the best coach.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. And also I think if you guys need a more in depth, you know, look at when to, what to look for when looking for a coach, we do have an episode on it and it doesn't only work for prep clients, same thing, same logic is going to work for lifestyle. So I definitely highly recommend checking it out because it does give you, you know, the good questions that you probably weren't thinking of in the first place. to ask because the nitty gritty things are very, important when you're handing money over to somebody else in the first place, right? So I say check it out, very helpful. And a lot of things that we wish we knew in the beginning. Yeah.
Arabella: Yep. Yep. Exactly. So yeah, if you have any further questions, we're we're always here and happy to discuss with you and talk to you. You know, the last thing we want is to see you stay stuck in the exact same place that you have already been stuck in for the last six months, year, if not longer than that. And yeah,
Rutha Berhane: Exactly.
Arabella: just remember that figuring it out on your own isn't resourceful if it's keeping you stuck. And I know making the investment can be scary. We were both hesitant for a long time too, everyone is, but it was the best thing that I ever could have done for myself. So yeah.
Rutha Berhane: 100%. Yeah. Hope you guys enjoyed this episode. It was really fun for us to talk about. Yes.
Arabella: Thanks for Yeah, thanks for tuning in. Yeah. Talk to you next week.
Rutha Berhane: Have a beautiful day.
Arabella: Have a beautiful day. Bye.
Rutha Berhane: Hi everyone.
Arabella: We're back with another consistency code episode. Can we believe it's been 36 weeks? Crazy.
Rutha Berhane: 36 weeks guys
Arabella: Crazy. One topic that we've been wanting to discuss on here is why figuring it out on your own is costing you more time and energy than it's saving you. And the reason that we've been wanting to talk about this is because I hear it all the time from people saying, like I'm just gonna keep trying to figure it out on my own. I'm just gonna, you know, try this, try that. And it's something that I went through myself too before I bit the bullet and hired my first coach. I was like, I'm just gonna try figuring it out on my own. Like, you know, something's bound to stick eventually, but honestly throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping it sticks is like one of the worst things that you can do in terms of progression and ultimately you just end up feeling pretty burnt out because nothing's working. so yeah, we're we're gonna talk about this because we see it a lot and I just want to unpack it with you guys and hopefully give you some value and suggestions on how to manage it because I know it can feel very overwhelming, especially with the amount of information that is out there these days. It's like information overload. And it drives decision fatigue up a lot. But yeah, that's one of the biggest things I hear when I'm chatting with people who are on their fitness journeys, typically just starting, they're like, I'm just gonna try figuring it out on my own, because it comes down to like
Rutha Berhane: Okay.
Arabella: a hesitation to invest in themselves too, and ultimately just leaves you stuck in the exact same position that you started in. And I'm saying that from a place of having gone through that myself as well. And it wasn't until I hired my first coach that I actually started seeing real progress. I'm like, wow, crazy what can happen when you actually just let somebody else help you.
Rutha Berhane: Exactly.
Arabella: But yeah, we're living in like a time of information paradox right now. Like, you know, you open Instagram, you open TikTok, YouTube, like all of the podcasts out there. don't even get me started on Reddit. Like there's just so much information everywhere. And I actually
Rutha Berhane: Thank you.
Arabella: was having this conversation with a friend earlier too. It's like There is just so much information and it's hard to know what to believe, right? And because there's so much information out there, you know, you see one thing, you try that for a week, and then you see something else and you try that for another week. And constantly switching up your approach to your fitness journey for one is holding you back. And then secondly, just the decision fatigue in itself, knowing what to do, like second guessing yourself, wondering if what you're doing is actually working is driving a sense of frustration because it's it's just hard to know what to believe and it's it's driving confusion. And it ultimately leads to yo-yo dieting and, you know, making a little bit of progress and then moving backwards and then making a little bit of progress, moving backwards again, and then yeah, you just end up feeling super stuck and like your body's broken and like nothing's working for you.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, those are very important ones. And also, like, obviously, like you said in the beginning, this is coming from a place of also experience because we clearly have tried the doing it ourselves right. And the biggest thing is not we love having information out there that's resourceful, obviously, and helpful. But there comes a time where too much information is not helpful. It's never helpful because if you have it from all different angles, which one are you supposed to pay attention to? Because everybody does put their own spin to it because as much as there's a lot of information and resources, there's also those who want to get your attention more than others. So that little spin is going to be something different. So it's just a circle, right? That's just constantly
Arabella: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: going on.
Arabella: And like we're living in a time where social media is very, very prominent and anyone and their mom and their dog can claim to be, you know, a fitness influencer, even slap coach in their Instagram bio when they don't have any education, barely any knowledge when it comes to fitness and nutrition and hormones and everything that goes into a transformation and you know, you believe your fitness your favorite fitness influencer whose page looks super aesthetic, but like
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: do they are they actually do they actually have the credentials to be giving out fitness advice? Like oftentimes no. And but you know, you don't know any better, so you're gonna trust them. I mean, I see fitness influencers claiming Making crazy claims like as an example, like, oats are bad for you because they contain glyphosate and they're gonna give you cancer. Like just crazy statements like that that are so untrue, but then you know, you don't know any better and you so you believe it and you're like, I'm not gonna eat oats because they're bad for me, or you like sugar's gonna make me fat. Like, okay, it's not the sugar that's the issue, it's the consumption of your sugar.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: And then another issue is that you're, you know, you're following your favorite fitness influencers workout program or you know, you're following their full day of eating because they posted a full day of eating that looks appetizing to you. And you're
Rutha Berhane: Mm
Arabella: just following super generic things that are not customized to you. They're not personalized to you. And so the reason you're not making progress has nothing to do with with your knowledge, it's not because you're not smart enough. It's not because your body's broken. It's not your hormones. It's not your age. It's that you're trying to fit a program into your lifestyle that was never built for you in the first place. And that's why like one on one coaching is so so important because having programs that are custom built for you, tailored to your schedule, tailored to your goals, to your body, to your hormones, to your food preferences. Like All of that makes such a difference when it comes to seeing results. You know, this
Rutha Berhane: it
Arabella: isn't a cookie cutter thing. It's not a one size fits all approach. Like making long lasting having a long lasting transformation, making lifelong progress is not gonna happen from following a generic cookie cutter program.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, for sure. And then.
Arabella: Like Ruth's meal plan and macros are not gonna work for me, and vice versa.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. Yeah. Just because it might be the same food groups, let's say even because there is not really like that much vast difference in what we all eat, but the quantities, the what's it called? The difference of where our calories are coming from macro split
Arabella: Mm-hmm.
Rutha Berhane: wise. It's all different in such intricate ways that you have to make it individualized or you will be wasting your time more often than not.
Arabella: Yeah, yeah. And then when you're, you know, wasting time trying to figure it out on your own, like that's it's costing you a lot of time and energy, right? And time is the one resource that you cannot get back. Like every month that you spend spinning your wheels with an approach that isn't working is a month of potential progress lost. And those months very quickly compound in the wrong direction. Like You know, we're in October right now, and if you are still stuck in the same place you were in January this year, heck if you're about to roll into twenty twenty seven with the exact same New Year's resolutions that you had this past January, like think about how far you could be if you just gave the responsibility to someone else and let somebody else actually, you know, put your trust in somebody else, obviously accredited person, coach. nutritionist, whoever it is, to build you a program that's actually designed for you to actually guarantee you those results rather than spinning your wheels and trying to figure it out on your own. I see it so often, the like DIY
Rutha Berhane: Mm hmm. Yeah.
Arabella: fitness journey, like two weeks of high motivation. You're like, yes, I'm so locked in, I'm so so ready to do this. and then, you know, you hit a plateau or you have a bad week, life happens, and then you move backwards and then you go through like another period of research to try to find something better because you ended up hitting a plateau and then you try another new approach for another two weeks and then you hit another plateau and it's like this yo yo cycle. It's like this cyc this cycle that just keeps on repeating itself and suddenly six months have passed and you barely
Rutha Berhane: Okay.
Arabella: made any progress. And yeah,
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: it's a compounding it's a compounding problem. Like the right habits, the right nutrition approach. The right training stimulus when applied consistently, when you're actually being consistent with those programs, that's what's gonna drive results that are genuinely life-changing. Versus the wrong approach applied consistently over six months, like you end up frustrated. you know, you're dr you drive your thyroid into the ground, metabolic adaptation happens. sometimes physical co consequences that take even longer to reverse. Heck, that could lead me down onto the GLP conversation. Like, you know, you you hop on a GLP and then you end up with with more health issues than you had in the first place because you've been depriving yourself of essential micronutrients in your diets. That's a whole different conversation,
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: but same idea. So
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: Yeah, it's like important to ask yourself honestly, like how long have you been trying to figure this out? Three months, six months, a year, two years? Heck, even three years? And what has that time cost you in results, in energy, in mental bandwidth? Because
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: it's a mental cost too, and it's a huge mental load.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, with the time of it all too, which is people's like most thought about consequence, we also do have like the mental and physical costs that does also tie in with time, yes, but the mental cost of just DIY fitness is enormous, right? And we've all had, you know, the times where we've constantly researched, second guessed ourselves, adjusting, starting over. Mondays next month this it's just all too much and then guessing if you're just doing enough or am I doing too little but you truly just don't know and it's mostly a guessing game and at the end of the day if you're sitting with yourself constantly worrying that's also going to play a factor but I think the most stressful part is just always second guessing yourself and never feeling like you're landing on a perfect approach and Also, there's no perfect approach ever, but I think having the ability and the versatility to just pivot is also a very important aspect and what helps people kind of there's that difference of who creates the results and who doesn't.
Arabella: Wait.
Rutha Berhane: And decision fatigue is a huge thing and why we always push people to kind of look into hiring a coach, at least think about it, do your research because having to figure out every single day about your nutrition training, how much to eat, how much not to eat, what's a bad food, what does my body agree with and doesn't. So with that, you doing it constantly with work, school, or having kids or this and that, it just becomes too much and that's where people fall off the wagon most often than not because you just have to constantly think about your next move instead of having it down on paper. And also the accountability aspect that Bella said is a huge factor in what helps you, especially if the scale is not moving and you're just looking at it and it's just, hey, what's going on? Having a coach will always, always help. And this kind of stress and exhaustion does compound over time, right? Because it has the shame spiral. If you're doing it alone and it doesn't work, who are you going to turn to? Blaming your willpower is also a really big thing in this because I think we've all had a time where we're on our little fitness journey and we go out and have, you know, have a good time and we enjoy food, whatever, and we come back and the next week we don't see the scale move or something. And we're blaming our willpower in the sense of if I just said no to this one dinner, one out. I could have been that much better. And blaming yourself to that extent is so toxic, especially to your fitness journey.
Arabella: Mm. Yep. And just having yeah, having somebody else to take the guesswork out of it is so beneficial. There's a reason that even the highest level coaches still have coaches themselves. Like, you know, we could absolute we absolutely have the knowledge to make progress on our own, but we still choose to invest in a coach ourselves because we would way rather have somebody else do the decision making for us, take the guesswork out of it. And also the accountability piece, having someone to send your progress to and check in with and lean on for support every single week is so beneficial. It really takes a lot of that mental load off. And, you know, yeah, if you do have a little slip up, I mean, I wouldn't even say that like going out for dinner every once in a while is a slip up by any means. But If you go a little overboard with it, having somebody to lean on and talk through with is huge. And yeah, like Rutha had just said, like that's one of the most like damaging parts of trying to figure it out on your own. You just go into this spiral of shame and then, you know, worst case you end up in this overeating cycle where you overeat and then you try to compensate for it by eating less the next day and potentially doing more cardio and then Hunger goes up because you are doing more cardio, you're spending more energy, and then you it's like this vicious cycle. So Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, and you hear so many coaches themselves say this one specific line of after they've coached themselves for like a little bit even just to try it out is that they never tell you like, didn't know what I was doing. It's always it's exhausting. I hate doing it because it's exhausting. So even the best
Arabella: Mm-hmm.
Rutha Berhane: of the best are always going to reach out to somebody else because it's just alleviating this extra chore at that.
Arabella: Yeah, yeah, myself included. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: It is a chore. Yeah.
Arabella: Like if only you guys saw my conversations with Rutha, like I've been I've been coaching myself since the end of May, so June, July, August, September, the last four months. And I'm like, okay, like I know what I need to do, but actually getting myself to do it is another thing. And
Rutha Berhane: exhausting. Yeah.
Arabella: yes, of course like I like coaching is my full time job, you know, I've invested thousands and thousands into mentorships to make me the coach that I am, to broaden my knowledge to make sure that I'm able to give the best support to my clients. But even still, I would like to have somebody else tell me what to do and make those
Rutha Berhane: Take the reins, yeah.
Arabella: decisions for me and support me and hold me accountable. Just take the guesswork out of it. and
Rutha Berhane: Very important.
Arabella: Yeah. Honestly, like coaching is such a priority for us as well. Like, you know, we could be on on the edge of bankruptcy and dropping our coach it would probably be like one of the last things we do because it's just such a priority for us. And I think that
Rutha Berhane: 100%. Dude.
Arabella: that's that's another issue a lot of people have is honestly like It's just not a priority for them when it comes to their finances and that holds people back.
Rutha Berhane: I was literally just thinking about this today. I was talking with my friend and I'm like, honestly, I forget that other people don't have the bill of like, I have a coach. thinking
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: about it, I was like, I could actually estimate how much money I would have saved if I didn't have a coach, right? But the reason I find it so worth it is because, one, I'm investing in myself, but also I feel like I don't have to do any work. People think... but you're in the gym and you're doing this or if you're dieting, yes but I also am not sitting there saying am I gonna go to the gym tomorrow and how much cardio am I gonna do? No I have a man in my ear telling me do this, this, and this. All I have to do is just check the boxes. That to me, worth it. Worth it.
Arabella: Absolutely, absolutely. I also was having this conversation with a girl the other day. I'm like, the reason that you don't enjoy going to the gym is because you're walking in there every single day like a lost puppy. Like
Rutha Berhane: Yes.
Arabella: you don't have a plan, you're not going in there with a plan, you don't know what you're doing, you're not confident on the machine because you've never had a trainer teach you how to use these machines before or how to execute these these movements properly and you're not making any progress. And if you're not making progress, then you're not gonna feel motivated. Everybody assumes that motivation comes first. Motivation is second. Progress first, motivation second. Because once you start seeing the progress and the results, that's when you're fired up. That's when you're like, heck yes, let's keep this going because you can see the visual progress and feel the progress. But yeah, if you're walking into the gym with without a plan, with no structure, then yeah, no kidding you don't enjoy, no kidding you don't want to be there.
Rutha Berhane: 100 % 100 % I don't think I
Arabella: And you're like, hmm, maybe I'll do twenty minutes of cardio, maybe I'll do forty minutes of cardio, maybe you just won't do cardio at all because you don't have anyone holding you accountable, versus
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: if you have someone telling you, Yep, like ten K steps and twenty minutes of cardio five times a week, it's like easy done. Yep, just the box to check. Exactly.
Rutha Berhane: And here's your meals for the day. here's that's the most important one is like here's your I have never gone a day with having to think what am I going to eat today? What am I going to eat next? I already know what it's written down. That's I think such a privilege. Yes. But at the same time it's like I don't think I'm grown, but like I don't think I could survive like having to cook every single meal to be different every single day. I would under eat because
Arabella: my gosh, no.
Rutha Berhane: I'd be lazy. I would under eat.
Arabella: Yeah, and that's a huge bottleneck for a lot of people, you know? They're trying to follow all of these crazy meal prep recipes, like make the most extravagant dinners every single night. Girl, my favorite dinner is bowl. Literally bowl. Those are my meals. Bowl. Like mud bowl,
Rutha Berhane: Bull. That's literally, it's bull. Those are my favorite too. Yeah. Bull. Yeah.
Arabella: rice bowl, yogurt
Rutha Berhane: Burger Bowl.
Arabella: bowl, burger bowl, taco bowl.
Rutha Berhane: that's it. Sometimes you just,
Arabella: Ice screen ball.
Rutha Berhane: breakfast bowls, sometimes you just throw stuff in there and it's in a
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: bowl and it fire, fire.
Arabella: It always works out. Our meals are bowl.
Rutha Berhane: And they taste better in a bowl. Just side quests. Yeah. It's a little side quest for us.
Arabella: It always yes. Honestly, my plates never get touched.
Rutha Berhane: fair. I don't, yeah, I can only
Arabella: just.
Rutha Berhane: eat from a bowl or like a tupperware like to go kind of container thing can do it. I think that's just
Arabella: Yes, yeah. Yeah. The the glass Tupperware bowl is my fave.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, and people think it's so hard. Like I've gotten my friends who see this and say like, you're eating that again. And it's like, guys, you understand, like, I'm so stress free. I don't have to go to the kitchen and like, cook something up right away. Like, let me just whip up Alfredo. Like I would also if I had Alfredo right now at this time, I would shit myself. Like that's how like unusually I'm not used to it to that extent. Right. I have to
Arabella: Yes, yes, fully.
Rutha Berhane: pre plan my stomach there.
Arabella: Earl's Alfredo tastes amazing. I but ooh, that does not sit
Rutha Berhane: It doesn't feel amazing.
Arabella: in your gut very n very nicely. But yeah, and
Rutha Berhane: No, I am.
Arabella: and on that note too, when you find meals that you genuinely enjoy eating,
Rutha Berhane: Hmm.
Arabella: it's it doesn't feel like a chore to eat them. It's like, my god, I'm eating the same thing every day because
Rutha Berhane: So good.
Arabella: you found meals that you that you love. Like Beef and rice and coconut oil and salt, chef's kiss for me. Like I love that and I don't see myself ever getting sick of it. And it's so simple, but it's so good and it's often the most simple meals
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. It's his scat.
Arabella: that are the best. And I would say that like in terms of in terms of reasons why women often specifically resist getting help, like there's
Rutha Berhane: you
Arabella: this there's a large independence narrative, right? It's like I am I don't I I don't want to feel weak by asking for help,
Rutha Berhane: Thank
Arabella: you know? I wanna figure it out on my own because especially for ambitious and driven women, like Investing in a coach is almost like a sense of weakness. Like asking for help almost is feels like a sense of weakness. figuring it out yourself is like proof of capability and like being resourceful and ultimately they feel like asking for help means that they couldn't figure it out on their own when it's quite the opposite. It's like making that investment is empowering and it's like, yes, I'm I'm doing this for me to make me feel the most confident I ever have in my life. to make me, you know, look the best I ever have, to finally make the progress that and step into the woman that I've always dreamed of becoming.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, and I think people struggle to also think about it in a different aspect, right? As in, we have other people or other establishments doing stuff for us all the time. I don't see you saying, okay, Ruta, I'm gonna go and actually do my own root canal. You go to your dentist. I'm gonna go and fix my
Arabella: Literally.
Rutha Berhane: car or this. You have a mechanic. have... an accountant for your taxes. So it's just when it comes to, yeah, you, we're picking and choosing. Yeah.
Arabella: The irony is so real. It's it's actually hilarious when you frame it like that. Yeah, yeah. Imagine saying, I'm gonna try to figure out what's going on with my car on my own.
Rutha Berhane: No, like you'll
Arabella: That like
Rutha Berhane: see me at the mechanic shop 8 a.m. sharp actually so yeah
Arabella: Exactly. Exactly. Like I'm gonna move my entire house on my own. I don't wanna ask for help. I'm an independent
Rutha Berhane: No, baby, you're calling the movers right away.
Arabella: woman, I'm gonna lift everything on my own.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, being independent and you know, I think we're correlating too much of independency with letting somebody else take the reins on something or situation to just make it easier for yourself. And I think that's just a really sad thing because yes, it is taught to us by society, but not being in stress is also a very good thing for an independent woman or man because to be doing things for yourself constantly, wouldn't you want to do it stress free? To do things at your best capability, would you want it to be in stressful situation where you're just thinking about so much stuff? No.
Arabella: Yeah, and also coaching, working with a coach is so fun. Like I always get so excited for check-in day. It's like, my gosh, yes, check and date, like are you know what changes are happening? Like what is coach gonna say? Like, is he gonna
Rutha Berhane: Share everything.
Arabella: tell me that I look like shit? Is he gonna tell me that my glutes are on fire, glutes are nice and
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: full, you know? Is he gonna Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: I love feedback day, I love it.
Arabella: In prep it's a little bit terrifying and I have cried over my check-ins in prep.
Rutha Berhane: I hate it. I hate it.
Arabella: When coach is
Rutha Berhane: Yes.
Arabella: like, add another five minutes of cardio Like
Rutha Berhane: And you might, guys, you might think five minutes, five minutes when you already don't wanna be there is like five hours. Yeah.
Arabella: literally the longest five minutes of your entire life. But yeah, coaching is is a it's a really fun thing and it's also a mentorship in and of itself. You learn a lot about your body, you learn a lot about how how fitness, how weight loss, how nutrition works. like a a lot of what I've learned honestly is through my own experience working with a coach. So it's more than just yeah, it's more than just paying for like a a workout program and a meal plan.
Rutha Berhane: Yes, correct. And I don't like the conversation of, because you said that, like, you know, having a coach is actually fun and people need to stop looking at it in a form of like, hey, it's professional 25, eight, tell me what like what like what to
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: do and I'm and I'm done. But the thing is, I've I've heard and there's a reason they're not, you know, very well known coaches, but coaches saying like, I'm not, you know, here to be your friend, like your buddy. Yes. there's still that professional relationship that needs to be kept. But at the same time, it's like, these people are happy to hear about you're weak and how it went and showing your personality so that they can help you better to make sure that you're not actually miserable with what they're doing for you and more so, it's actually helping you in a positive way. So you are,
Arabella: Yes. Yes.
Rutha Berhane: indeed, you do create a friendship of some sort because you're connecting with this person constantly. So don't take it as You know, I'm just paying you to just fuck off at end of the day, you know?
Arabella: Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what I always tell my clients too. I'm like, this isn't just like me handing you a meal plan and saying, Good luck, adios, sayonara Like we're actually Yeah,
Rutha Berhane: And if that's the case, fire them.
Arabella: we're actually really developing a relationship. and it's important that, you know, we feel comfortable communicating and talking with each other because if if you feel resistance telling me what's going on internally and externally, then I can't help you. I can only help you with the information you give me and what I know. So yeah. Like yes, I understand when coaches are like, I'm not here to be your friend, because also as a coach, I'm gonna
Rutha Berhane: Okay.
Arabella: tell my clients what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. And sometimes tough
Rutha Berhane: Yes.
Arabella: love is what they need. But at the same time and yes, there needs to be boundaries in place. Like I'm not gonna
Rutha Berhane: is here.
Arabella: hop on FaceTime with you at 9 p.m. But you know, you also, yeah, you typically do always end up with a friendship out of it, which
Rutha Berhane: Thanks.
Arabella: yeah, which is cool. But yeah, in terms of other objections that that we hear a lot, obviously the financial objection, the cost of coaching, and I understand that you know it's an additional cost, but also Look at the cost of not investing in a coach. Where are you gonna be five
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: years from now? Are you gonna be deeper in your health problems and spending more on medication and medical services because you didn't make that investment in a coach five years ago? Like,
Rutha Berhane: Thank
Arabella: how much are you spending on eating out every single week? Coffees every single week.
Rutha Berhane: and
Arabella: It's like coaching is gonna cost you maybe roughly seventy-five to a hundred dollars a week. Look at the price of your Pilates membership, your yoga membership, like
Rutha Berhane: and then
Arabella: you know, eating out once a week is probably gonna run you equivalent of that coaching cost. So it's really it really does come down to priorities too. And
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: also like how much have you spent on, you know, unnecessary supplements, random programs you found online, gym memberships, meal prep services, fitness apps in the last year while figuring it out all by yourself.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. And when we say this, please do consider that if you're at a place where you generally cannot afford coaching, that's one thing, right? Because I also
Arabella: Yes, yes.
Rutha Berhane: hate when people on socials come out and sometimes they're coaches, okay? But the coaching and, you know, investing in what you eat properly and everything is a luxury. It is a privilege, right? But at the same time, if Math quickly here, if you are spending $7 to $8 every single day on that matcha, every single day, coffee every day, if you bought a $20 whatever powder to make it at home every day with some almond milk, you're saving exactly $263 a month. What does that entail? I'm saying this because I did the math for myself prior. $263, a lifestyle coach is going to cost you two something. There you go. So we're talking about that portion and not, you have children and you're, you know, like don't struggle to make ends meet because you want to coach. It's not going to take any more stress off of you. It's going to make it worse. But if you have that priority
Arabella: Yeah, exactly.
Rutha Berhane: and working towards it, that's better than just sitting there and doing nothing.
Arabella: Exactly, exactly. And at least, you know, go go about having the conversation with a coach. So, you know, you can have a game plan mapped out for you when you are in a position where you're able to make that investment into coaching.
Rutha Berhane: But don't be buying a coffee every day and telling me I just can't afford a coach. You're holding a nine dollar drink! What are you talking about right now? Yeah.
Arabella: Literally, literally. You're telling me you go out to eat every Friday and Saturday and you're buying a sixty dollar
Rutha Berhane: Those cocktails are flying.
Arabella: bottle of wine, appies, entree, dessert.
Rutha Berhane: I'm stressed out. I'm stressed out.
Arabella: Yeah, don't even get me started.
Rutha Berhane: There's things that we can cut back on always. I would know. Because I had
Arabella: Yeah. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: to do that. So please. Yeah.
Arabella: Totally. And yeah, and just think about like the changes when you stop going about it alone, you know, you have that sense of
Rutha Berhane: Thank you very much.
Arabella: clarity. instead of choosing between fifty conflicting approaches, you have one clear plan designed for you, your goals, your life, your body. And that sense of decision fatigue disappears almost immediately. Also, like we've already talked about accountability, you know, changes your behaviors in ways that self motivation is never going to. Feedback loops, compress the timeline dramatically. Figuring out on your own that a specific approach isn't working for you might take three months, like we just mentioned as well. Versus a coach is gonna identify that in two weeks, if not one week, and make those adjustments. And so the compounding effect of faster feedback over twelve months is enormous. And then that's when you start to feel more motivated and it goes on and on and on.
Rutha Berhane: Correct. Correct. And in the same breath, it's like one to know, you know, it's time to stop going at it alone is, you know, if you've been at this for more than six months or even six months, because we all know that results, real results to hold and show progress is six months, which is honestly time flies anyways, if you've been at this and
Arabella: Mm-hmm.
Rutha Berhane: The results do not reflect the time. That's when it stops, to stop going alone and figure it out with a second opinion. And you spend your time researching what to do every single day, still going on, even after the six months, it's still happening. You've started more than twice in the last year. We started taking a gap, came back. It's not even... just the, I'll be back Monday, but just numerous times a year, you have these new goals that are by the end not being reached, right? You feel like you know what to do, but you're still not doing it consistently. It's just this back and forth and just the scale is not moving. Nothing's working. You have to understand that that's the time to just pause and say it's time to involve somebody else.
Arabella: If you are somebody who says, I know what I need to do, I'm just not doing it, then my question for you is okay, if you know what you need to do, then why have you not been doing it? Why have you not made the progress that
Rutha Berhane: And why are you panicking every day then?
Arabella: you wanted to? Yeah. Telling yourself why are you listening to this? Telling yourself you know what you need
Rutha Berhane: And why are you stressed right now then? Why are stressed?
Arabella: to do is like. The biggest excuse for I actually have don't have a fucking clue what to do, but I just don't wanna have somebody else help me with it. So I'm gonna try to figure it out on my own until I do. And let me tell you one thing, sorry to break it to you, you're not gonna figure it out on your own. Like nope, I
Rutha Berhane: So that's it, right? Got it.
Arabella: didn't. Heck, I would not be where I am today the entire trajectory of my life changed when I hired my coach. And that is not even a s exaggeration in the slightest.
Rutha Berhane: But yeah.
Arabella: Yeah. And it's also like I always like to remind people this isn't just a physical journey. You know, people get caught up in the physical transformation and how your body's gonna look, but it's also such a mental and spiritual and lifestyle transformation. You know, you learn a lot about yourself, you learn a lot about how you man manage stress, you learn a lot about mentally what's going on. I will say for my coaching program specifically, it's very focused on the hormonal side of things, what's going on with your body internally. It's very focused on the mental side of things, understanding why your brain works the way it does, why you're making certain decisions, how you're managing certain situations. Like it's not just about the physical. Yes, it's a big piece, but it's not just about the physical. So yeah.
Rutha Berhane: Exactly. And, you know, at the end of the day, it's just figuring it out. Figuring it out on your own isn't resourceful if it's keeping you stuck, right? Always,
Arabella: Exactly.
Rutha Berhane: yeah, the most efficient path for your goal is usually going to be the one where somebody knows the way to show you instead of the blind leading the blind. It could be the blind led by the seeing, you know, to put it simply. Yeah. the blind leading the blind. Yeah.
Arabella: Yeah, I love that saying. I love that saying. Yeah. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: My favorite thing, my favorite insult.
Arabella: So if you are looking to hire a coach, it's important that you know what to look for in a coach as well. So if you are doing consult calls with coaches, well first of all make sure that you do a consult call and you know, you don't just hire the first person
Rutha Berhane: Yes.
Arabella: you come across or your favorite influencer. You wanna make sure that you vibe with them and you like their approach and you understand exactly what you're gonna be getting yourself into. so make sure you know you're looking for someone who asks questions before just handing a program to you. It's obviously key to know about your goals, your dieting history, your training history, your lifestyle your preferences because like I already mentioned, this isn't a cookie cutter approach. Everything should be completely tailored to you one on one.
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: and a coach who gives everyone the same plan is that's not coaching. That's literally not coaching, that's just templating. That's just yep, here you go, here's the plan.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: And that's when you're gonna end up stuck and have a negative coaching experience. And also make sure that. The coach that you're hiring is super transparent about everything, you know. Ask questions like what's the first month gonna look like? how's progress gonna be measured? what happens if things aren't working? Ask all of these questions on the call. Don't be afraid to ask questions and yeah, be really clear on what you're getting yourself into. And last thing I'm gonna say is make sure you're working with someone who has proof, testimonials.
Rutha Berhane: Yes. You
Arabella: Transformations and not just yes. And this isn't to
Rutha Berhane: have look at a roster. You have to look at a roster, yeah. And the thing is...
Arabella: say they need to have like hundreds of transformations. I don't even have that, but just quality and you know, even
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, just quality ones.
Arabella: go and talk to their current clients and see how they like
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: their experience and get real feedback that way. Because like I
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: said, oftentimes your favorite influencer is not gonna be the best coach.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. And also I think if you guys need a more in depth, you know, look at when to, what to look for when looking for a coach, we do have an episode on it and it doesn't only work for prep clients, same thing, same logic is going to work for lifestyle. So I definitely highly recommend checking it out because it does give you, you know, the good questions that you probably weren't thinking of in the first place. to ask because the nitty gritty things are very, important when you're handing money over to somebody else in the first place, right? So I say check it out, very helpful. And a lot of things that we wish we knew in the beginning. Yeah.
Arabella: Yep. Yep. Exactly. So yeah, if you have any further questions, we're we're always here and happy to discuss with you and talk to you. You know, the last thing we want is to see you stay stuck in the exact same place that you have already been stuck in for the last six months, year, if not longer than that. And yeah,
Rutha Berhane: Exactly.
Arabella: just remember that figuring it out on your own isn't resourceful if it's keeping you stuck. And I know making the investment can be scary. We were both hesitant for a long time too, everyone is, but it was the best thing that I ever could have done for myself. So yeah.
Rutha Berhane: 100%. Yeah. Hope you guys enjoyed this episode. It was really fun for us to talk about. Yes.
Arabella: Thanks for Yeah, thanks for tuning in. Yeah. Talk to you next week.
Rutha Berhane: Have a beautiful day.
Arabella: Have a beautiful day. Bye.
