Episode 11: The Crazy Brothers

[Garageband version of Buddy Holly’s “Everyday” plays]
C: Hello! My name is Crystal.
G: And my name is Grey.
C: And this is Rubbish and Probably a Podcast, a Good Omens commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show too many times…
G: And I, someone who only knows this show through Crystal, discuss every single episode of Good Omens.
C: For today’s episode, we are discussing Season 2, Episode 5: “The Ball,” an objectively bad episode.
G: Very bad. [C laughs] I mean, like, it is bad. It is rubbish. And probably a bad episode. But- [C: But.] [both laugh]
C: It's like, what if an episode was the worst-written thing in the world, but every time you saw Anthony J. Crowley on screen, it felt like all of your limbs were being cut off with a rusty and also blunt saw, but like, in a good way?
G: [laughing] Yeah, the thing is, this is a bad episode. But I'm crazy, and you're crazy, [overlapping] we're the crazy brothers! So like- everything goes. Yeah. [C screams] Also, like, if I'm breathing in a way that annoys literally everybody in the fucking world, it's because I got sick, and I'm currently experiencing asthma, so tough luck!
C: Tough luck. Stop being ableist, you guys. [G laughs] [G: Exactly.] So hit us with that sweet, sweet, awful Amazon Prime summary.
G: Oh my god. [laughs] So, for our summary of Season 2, Episode 5-
C: It's not ours. I don't claim that thing.
G: No, no, okay. [laughs] For Amazon Prime summary, "Aziraphale tries to bring Maggie and Nina together by organizing a meeting of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association. In Hell, Shax is determined to launch a full scale attack on the bookshop with a legion of demons at her command. Nina's heart is broken, as is a bookshop window. [laughs] [C: Like, what?] Gabriel has a close encounter with Mrs. Sandwich and a small plate of cakes."
C: He does not! [G: Sure. Why not?] Sure. Technically, you could claim that those things happen. Sure. Well, sure. They said that happened. Why not? [G laughs] Maybe it did happen, for all I know.
G: Yeah, I know for a fact that a thing that did not happen this episode is the basketball. [C laughing] I'm so sad, you guys. It was my biggest expectation, and it was never fulfilled. [C: Yeah, yeah, sorry your prediction was wrong.] We will never see those two in a tracksuit. It's never gonna happen.
C: There's still Season 3! [G laughs]
G: That's true. There's still Season 3. [C: Yeah, yeah.]
-
C: So we open in Hell with Shax asking Furfur for 10,000 demons to launch an attack on London on the bookshop. And this whole episode, Shax, is like, doing this voice where she's like, very excited, and it's like- it feels like a barely-concealed excitement voice, and she keeps like, hissing and shit [G: Yeah.], and like, sometimes it gets kind of old, but like, mostly, Miranda Richardson's having a lot of fun, and I appreciate her.
G: I do like it. Shax in this episode, it's pretty fun, I would say. When we were talking in Episode 1, you have always seemed to like her. Like, you seem to have always liked her. [C: Yeah.] But, like, I wasn't really as taken by her as you are, and well, now I am. I think she's wonderful this episode! I love the outfit. I love the "ferocity" and whatever else she's talking about.
C: Yeah. She is a cringefail girlboss, and I'm happy for her. [G: Exactly.] Yeah. In the past, whenever you called her "so competent," I was like, "Let's see how that goes." [both laugh]
G: Yeah, what's so funny is this episode, like, proves to me more than anything that whenever I'm like, "God, Aziraphale's so incompetent! God! Crowley's so incomp-" Like, everybody. Every single demon and angel [C: Yeah.] is so bad at what they do, it's unreal. [C: Yeah.] And you know? It's fun time. Fun time.
C: Fun time. Yeah. So Shax goes up to Furfur who's like, I don't know, doing like, old-timey stocks or something, it seems like? [G laughs] I can't tell exactly what's on his laptop. It looks like, I don't know like, what I assume an online lottery looks like. So she asks him for 10,000 demons, and he laughs at her. Yeah, she starts getting more and more desperate. She, like, goes down to 1,000 'cause she has authorization from Beelzebub, please, please, please, but Furfur offers her a malignant and creeping sense of unease [G laughs], which she does not want. She goes down to 500, and then he asks like, what they're for, and like, for the first time this episode, she drops like, the voice, and she goes like, "Ugh. Attacking a bookshop. But we may be going up against angels!" And eventually, Furfur says that she can have 100, and then it just dropped to 70, so she agrees. Meanwhile, in Soho, baby-
G: [laughs] It's so funny to me because, like, it's like, Shax in Hell preparing to wage like, "A thousand- 500- 70 demons!" into the bookshop. And then like, we cut to Aziraphale who [overlapping] do not give a shit about anything in the world. Zero. Zero GAFs. Zero. [C: Yeah. Yeah. I'm just trying to figure him out-] I mean later, we hear him say that-
C: Yeah, that thinks that the bookshop is untouchable, and that's why he's so confident.
G: Yeah, or like, when he was like, "Oh, you're overestimating" or like, "You're overselling the actual danger that we're in" or whatever. And it's like, "Okay, fine." But like, Crowley also was warned. And Crowley is like, kind of aware, I think [C: A very scared guy, yeah.] Yeah, so like, I don't know. I have- this episode is bad. Some of the writing choices don't make sense.
C: Yeah. And also, the leadup to this episode is bad. [G: Yeah!] Just the whole modern-day plotline doesn't really make sense.
G: You know, I think, Crystal, what happened is that you saw this season, you were like, "It's a bad season. I don't like it. I'm sure Grey won't like it either, because Grey is a reasonable person who can see when a season is bad." [C: Yeah.] [C laughs] But like, I am literally a Supernatural fan, so like- [laughing] [C: That's true. It's true that you are a Supernatural fan.] We went to Supernatural together! So like, yeah, I literally will watch a bad show and be like, "Yeah. [C laughs] I mean, it's bad, but I like it." That's how I feel about this season as well.
C: Yeah, I guess the- do you think there was better buildup and consistency in this season than in Supernatural?
G: No, absolutely not. [both laughing] I think Supernatural is better than this. [C laughs]
C: That is also what I decided midway through this season. [laughs] I'm glad we agree. I mean, Supernatural is worse in a lot of other ways, but like, I do think that despite it being split across like, 10 writers per season or whatever [G: They work together, yeah.] I feel like they talk to each other a little bit. They talk to each other. Neil Gaiman doesn't even talk to himself. [G laughs] He just talks to people on Tumblr, so.
G: He literally like, reflects on his writing through Tumblr anons, [C laughing] which is the worst possible way to do it.
C: Yeah. Says the two people who only reflect on their podcasting through Tumblr anons. [laughing] But yeah.
G: This is true. And for us, it's the best possible way to do it.
C: Oh, yeah, absolutely. I love everyone who sends us asks. It's great that you do that. So Aziraphale is, yeah, you know, bustling along, not a care in the world, with a list of all the Whickber Shopkeepers and Street Traders that he's gonna visit and invite his ball. Crowley drives in. We see her like, drive in, which means that, like, they came here just to join Aziraphale in asking people to come. Like, what if they are married and also wed?
G: Also, like, I want to point out that the hair this entire sequence, it changes a lot. It goes back and forth between what I would call Episode 1 hair, 'cause, like, Episode 1 is the last full episode in the present times, right? [C: Yes.] Damn. I can't believe that. Like, they had so little time that they spend in the present, and they still have to do this like, fucking fodder shit with like, "Oh, but I must tell Aziraphale, but Aziraphale won't listen, even though I'm speaking to him directly, and I can just say what I want to say!" you know. The hair alternates between that and like, the color that it is in Season 1 and the flashbacks, plus a little other tuft. Like, another layer of waves. I think it's adorable!
C: Yeah, it's like, two main curls on the top or whatever. It's good hair. She should've had it the whole time.
G: I think it's so cute. I think it's wonderful. And yeah, also, like, the snake. Because in the two hairstyles there's a different like, sideburns situation. Honestly, do you know, like, the sequence of like, scenes that they filmed? When did they film the 1941 one.? [C: I have no clue.] Because I think what I would reasonably assume would happen is they filmed that, and then they filmed the coffee scenes, or like, the Whickber Street scenes here. 'Cause like, it's the same color as that one and also same height of the sideburns. But whatever. the snake, like, changes position based on the placement of the sideburn! I love that.
C: Yeah, that's fun. [G: So cute.] I guess the point is that if, like, the snake is a demonic mark, like their eyes are, they will always be visible, even if they try to do things to cover it up. [G: Yeah.] Neil Gaiman said that it just moves around, so I guess it's like, semi-sentient. But just say "It has to be visible in every scene, and sometimes, Crowley has different hair, so hair and makeup puts it on a different part of David Tennant's face." [G: No!] You can just admit that.
G: But I think it's fun that it moves around. [C: Yeah.] What if, like, at some point, Crowley had a tramp stamp? And it's like, on her lower back. It's very important to me.
C: Yeah, yeah. Maybe she did. Okay, like, I am still trying to figure out why they're not worried. Okay, 'cause like, my first thought upon seeing Crowley arrive here is that it's partly as like a, "Aziraphale told me that he's like going out to ask everyone now, and I don't want Aziraphale out of the bookshop alone, given that I know what's happening." But, like, I don't think that's really the vibe. I think that just nobody give a shit.
G: Nobody give a shit about anything of import. Nobody give a shit.
C: And it's like, I guess they would have some sense of security because, first of all, they already have proof that no one can tell who Gabriel is, and also they know that demons can't enter the bookshop. But like, it's still like, everyone was like, "We're coming to the bookshop to kick your ass." And they were like, "Let's go to the bookshop and bring dozens of humans into the bookshop where everyone is coming to kick our ass." So. [laughs] Yeah. Oh, well. Oh, well, whatever, Neil Gaiman. And also, I guess, John Finnemore. Right. So Crowley shows up and asks, "Are you actually going through with this?" and Aziraphale says, "Yes." and Crowley goes, “Can I watch?”
G: And in that moment, Aziraphale goes, “Of course, darling,” and then brings out a collar [C laughing] and wraps it around Crowley's neck, and like, clasps a leash on it. And for the rest of this scene, Aziraphale walks Crowley around like a dog through Whickber Street.
C: It's true. All of this happened on the TV show Good Omens. [both laughing] No corrections here.
G: It's exactly what happens. Exactly. And I'm not even joking. [C laughing] It's literally what happens in the episode.
C: Yeah, yeah. It's what happened in the episode. Now, whether or not what Amazon Prime aired is the episode, eh. But it's what happened in the episode.
G: It literally is. Like, I saw beyond what was being shown on screen into the truth of the matter. [C: Yes.] And this is what happened in the episode.
C: It sure is. We go to Mr. Arnold, who owns a music shop, and he's playing a harpsichord, which I think is an objectively cool instrument to play. Aziraphale comes in, and, like, Crowley's position, is that like, he's sort of standing near the back of the store like, arms crossed, leaning against the door so like, it can't open or close or whatever. Aziraphale wants Mr. Arnold there to play music, maybe get a string quartet or whatever, but he's like, "I'm not going to the meeting, 'cause the last one that I went to 10 years ago [G laughing], people were just complaining about Christmas lights and banning improper apostrophes on signs." [both laughing] And we learn later that "people" means "Nina," even though her coffee shop is new. She wasn't even here 10 years ago, but that was her.
G: You know? I love it. Like, when that bit happened, when Nina was like, "Are we gonna talk about the Christmas lights, because I have things to say." [C laughs] I was like, "Well, what if Nina is the best character in Good Omens?" [C laughs] You know, I have so many moments in this episode where I was like, this close to liking Nina and Maggie as characters as a pairing.
C: Wow! No, I also had a note where I was, like, "You know, like, the lighting of the chandeliers is really making me think-" and then they started talking, and I was like, "Nevermind." [G laughs]
G: No, literally. Like, later, Maggie is in an outfit so beautiful, I was like, "I'll forgive anything." I was willing to open my heart and my soul.
C: Yeah. And then they started talking. Aziraphale, upon hearing this, says, "I see. Very well. You leave me with no alternative." And before he says that, he looks back at Crowley, and then he puts down the clipboard, and you see Mr. Arnold look between him and Crowley being like, "Oh my god! [laughing] And now this mafia guy is gonna beat me up until I go to the Whickber Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association!" [G laughing] Which is great. I love it.
G: I love that like, before Aziraphale like, does this, too, he goes, "There will be sandwiches." [laughing]
C: Yeah. Were there even sandwiches? There were vol au vents, but there weren't sandwiches.
G: There were no chairs. [C: There were no chairs!] Ableist-ass bookshop!
C: I know. No wheelchair ramp. No chairs. Fuck off, Aziraphale. [G laughs] Okay, so he offers Mr. Arnold a 1965 Doctor Who annual that he keeps at the back of his bookshop. I- do you think Aziraphale would be a Doctor Who fan? This is Classic Who, so it's a very different beast from NuWho, and I haven't seen Classic Who, so like, maybe I'm not understanding. I don't think Aziraphale would be into NuWho, though.
G: Do you know, what I assumed here was that- I mean, maybe this is too conniving, but like, to me, I was like, "Aziraphale have and kept these books to like, you know, [laughs] to blackmail these people." No, no, to have leverage against these people. [C: Oh, like, to have leverage against every person on the street?] Yeah. Because, like, [C: It's true. He does have one per person.] I don't think- Yeah. Like, Aziraphale just knows specifically the interests of these people, and knows that they will be into these things, and he also just happens to have them. Like, I do think that he was like, "One day, I will ask favors of these people, and, alas! I need to bring out the Doctor Who annual from 1965."
C: Right. Because he offers Mutt like, a magic book, so that could be ascertained from the shop itself. But I don't think anything about the music shop indicates that Mr. Arnold's a Doctor Who fan. So yeah, this is like, he's been aware for a while that this is something that he would want very badly, but he's not like, offered to show it to him or anything until this moment. I think that makes sense to me.
G: Literally, when Mrs. Ch[ay]ng was like- Is that how you pronounce it? [laughs] That's literally not how you pronounce it. [C: I think Ch[uh]ng.] Yeah. When Mrs. Cheng was like, "Okay, we're going," I was like, "No! You have to let Aziraphale bribe you with a wonderful book!" [C: You could get so many books.] Yeah. Literally!
C: Okay, yeah. I like that better than them saying Aziraphale is a Classic Who fan or whatever just 'cause I think- I mean, everything they say about Aziraphale’s taste this season is so loathsome. Like, that shot in Season 2, Episode 2 where you can see Catcher in the fucking Rye on his shelf, like, haunts me every moment of my life. He would not own that.
G: God. What if he like, has American authors in his shop just to hate, you know. [C laughs] Like, he has a shelf to be like, "Haha! Those foolish American authors!" [C laughing] He would do it.
C: I believe it. I believe it. I think the only explanation I can find reasonable is that he keeps some of the like, popular high school classics at the front of his shop, hoping that, like, people will just buy those and not venture further into the store. But yeah [G: Yeah.], who knows? Blah blah blah, the 1965 annual was never printed, but his is only known proof copy.
G: When he says, "It was never printed due to problems at the BBC," he like, looks knowingly at Crowley. Like, Crowley caused the problems at the BBC.
C: Aww! Fun! We've talked about Crowley's tricking people voice, but like, Aziraphale also has like, a tricking people-ish voice, and I think it's like, basically his magician voice, but dialed down a little bit, and I'm very happy for him. [G laughs]
G: Imagine if he was like, "I have the only known... proof copy!" [both laugh] He would be so funny. He should have done it.
C: He would be, and he should have. Yeah. Mr. Arnold asks if he can look at it, and Aziraphale says, “I'll let you have it,” even though the plan would have worked without letting him have it, so you know what? He doesn't give a shit about Doctor Who. [G: Yeah.] This must be the case.
G: This is like, a "In the future, this man will always have a sense of gratitude towards me, and I can-" [laughs] [C: Yeah.] Why am I painting Aziraphale like he is the most evil, conniving person [C laughs] in the Whickber Street? And you know what? He may be.
C: He is the landlord, so... [G laughs] Though I don't know if he owns- I think he owns the land for all these shops, I assume, because I feel like- [G: No!] No? Just Maggie.
G: I feel like if he owns the shop for Nina's cafe, that would have been brought up in Episode 1, don't you think? [C: That's fair.] In the conversation between him and Maggie.
C: He only owns The Small Back Room because it used to be like, part of the bookshop before they like, separated them.
G: Yeah, it's like, right beside it, right? Is that true? [C: Yeah, yeah.] Is that even true?
C: Yeah, Maggie said in Season 2, Episode 1 that it used to be in a corner of the bookshop. God. The things that Maggie's ancestors had to put up with, if that was the case. [G laughs] They go outside, and Crowley is so shocked that Aziraphale gave away a book, but Aziraphale's just like, "I'm not prepared to talk about it." Then he says that "Maggie and Nina are depending on me." [G: They're literally not.] Like, they're not. I get what they're going for this episode and also in previous episodes is that both the Aziraphale and Crowley are projecting onto Maggie and Nina so hard and so raw, but like, [G: They shouldn't.] their relationship is nothing, and you guys are in love, so like, find something else to do. [G laughs]
G: Literally! Go ship Destiel or something. Come on! [C laughing]
C: So we cut to Mutt's magic shop, and I think it's like, the same shop as before but under new ownership or something. [G: That's fun!] It's the same way that a different- yeah, there was a different coffee shop in Season 1, and then Nina took it over, which does make me think that Aziraphale did cultivate the street in terms of like, these are the sorts of businesses that he wants to be here, and then every time one goes out of business, he makes sure the same business replaces it. Yeah. He's really kept this magic shop alive for so long. I don't think most magic shops would survive for so long. [G: This is true.] They go inside, and Aziraphale, like, steps inside, pauses, closes his eyes, and does like, a deep inhale so that he can get all the magic shop energy inside of him. They talk to- well, he talks to Mutt. Crowley is mocking about. David Tennant- by which I mean David fucking Tennant is doing improv to reference the show that he's so obsessed with being on and shouldn't be on anymore. Ugh. [G: Is that what this is?] The fucking fez? Yeah, I think that's what it is. [G: Ah.] It was improv, and he saw at the back of the shop, and they waste 4 or 5 entire shots on him putting on the fez, and then like, waving his hands around a magic crystal ball, blah blah blah blah blah blah! And it's like, "Okay. Well, that was the Eleventh Doctor, anyway. Like, I think he probably only wore the fez one time during 'The Day of the Doctor,' so like, I don't know what you're playing at, David Tennant." But yeah. The whole time that- I'm so annoyed by David Tennant doing this and them choosing to keep it in. Like, I know that I have, like, an irrational hatred of like, references to other media and also self-references, but like, I just think that Neil Gaiman should have known that, and like, not done it for my sake. For me, Neil Gaiman.
G: But it's improv! So this is all David Tennant's fault.
C: You choose whether or not to keep it in!
G: I don't think Neil Gaiman chooses that. I think the editor does that.
C: Fine. The editors, you were wrong, you were wrong, I was right, you were wrong. But yeah. Anyway, Mutt says that he cannot be at the meeting because it's his wedding anniversary, and he's taking his beloved spouse out to dinner. And Aziraphale offers him S. W. Erdnase's "Expert at the Card Table," which is the author's own copy, signed with his real name. Mutt is like, "You know what? Fuck my wedding anniversary. Let's goo!"
G: The thing is like, what I find so fascinating is like, through the beginning of this scene, Crowley is like, standing there, standing still, right? And then the moment like, Aziraphale talks about the book, and it's obvious that it's been gotten already, like, he starts pacing around. I think that's such a cute, cute, cute thing! They're so cute. They're so cute together.
C: Mm-hm! God, it's gonna be so Crover next week. [both laugh]
G: I'm so scared for next week. I'm like, terrified. [both laugh] I'm scawed.
C: So on the street, Aziraphale invites Mrs. Cheng to come, and I think they are speaking Cantonese [G: Hell yeah!], so I cannot judge his pronunciation. And I'm guessing it's Cantonese because I went on the actress's Wikipedia, and it says that she's fluent in Mandarin, Cantonese, and English, and it's not Mandarin, and it's not English, so. [G: Yeah.] Power of elimination, baby. [G: Wow. Just like in Ace Attorney.] Yeah. Yeah. But we're meant to think Aziraphale's like, fully fluent and shit. Good for him. [G: Yeah.] And meeting's at 6:30. See you there. Crowley does like, a little two-finger salute to Mrs. Cheng on their way out.
G: Oh yeah! It's so cute. [C: Mm-hm.] [English accent] I hope I disappear. [both laugh] [C: What?] They're in love! [giggles] [C: Yeah.] They're like, in love and shit.
C: Yeah, yeah. And in the real episode, Crowley had to balance on three limbs to give that salute. [G: What?] If Crowley- oh, is Crowley not crawling along on the ground in your- I thought he was crawling along on the ground. Is he standing up and walking with the collar on? [G: Yeah. Yeah.] Okay. Okay. I thought that Crowley was on all fours. [laughs] Anyway. [G laughs]
G: Well, he should be, probably.
-
G: Well, we go back to Hell, and Shax is doing a- [C: An outfit!] Oh, yeah. The outfit is amazing. It's like a bodysuit, but the shoulders are feathered. And like, you said something about like, her animal being.
C: Yeah, there's apparently like, a stork engraved on like, the chest of her bodysuit, and they said in the Behind the Scenes that, like, the stork, was like, Shax's animal, which I wish that came out more on her other character design. Like, she has a feather in her hat in Episode 1, but like, that's about it. Also, this does make me wonder like, do like, angels have an animal? Or is it just demons? Like, is falling equivalent to discovering your fursona? [G laughing] Like, what's the deal?
G: I don't know. Well, what would Aziraphale’s animal be?
C: [laughs] Sorry, I'm just thinking about that fic where Crowley calls him a seagull. [G laughs]
G: [laughs] Yeah. Oh yeah, the seagull one. Yeah. So cute. I feel like saying that an angel is a bird is a bit of cheating. That's cheating. Cheating.
C: Yeah, I feel like that's not really the case. I feel like a lot of people go with lion for Aziraphale [G laughs], which I do like for the symbolic value of "He gave his sword away, and it was immediately used to kill a lion." [G: Oh, that's fun!] Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like- Well, oh, I know the answer! According to Chekhov, the artist on Tumblr.com [G: Oh, the cat?], Aziraphale’s a giant, fluffy, white Persian cat. [G: This is true. This is true.] What's your Aziraphale animal?
G: I don't know. I do not think of him in that way. [both laughing] Yeah. I don't think Aziraphale would have a fursona.
C: Aziraphale’s fursona is a human. [G laughing]
G: No, exactly. Fucking exactly. I don't know. She's just talking about like, how "We're going to launch an attack," and blah blah blah! And there's a running bit where one of the demons, Eric, keeps on piping up. [C: Yeah. Our best friend Eric.] Our best friend Eric keeps on piping up that like, "There's like, 70 of us, and that's not really a legion 'cause a legion is like, 10,000." Is that one? [C: It's 6,000.] A legion is 6,000. [C: They love the number 6,000 here.] He's like, "Oh, we're only 1/75th of a legion," you know. Shax keeps on talking and talking, and she goes like, "Oh, we will beat everyone! 'Cause we are demons, and they are but paltry humans." And Eric's like, "Wait, I thought we were going up against angels!" So she is girlbossing quite terribly.
C: Yeah, she does have a moment when she's like, "What we lack in numbers, we-" Well, like, she says that the attack will be unprecedented in its audacity, and that they'll make up for numbers with their ferocity, and then she can't come up with like, a third one. And it's very like, "Smarter! Stronger! [both] More dangerous!" [G: I love it.] of her. She learned from the best!
G: From the best. You know, I'm so sad that we only see Dagon once this season.
C: Yeah. Yeah. And he doesn't have very much to do.
G: Is he gonna show up next?
C: I don't rember. [laughs] A lot of Episode 6 is a blur. [laughs]
G: This is well may be. Well, Season 3 wishlist, put Dagon on that thing. So we're back in Whickber Street, and Aziraphale’s next target is the French restaurant right beside Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death. And he promptly enters his erreur era [C laughs], where he tries to talk exclusively in bad French to this woman who is running this little restaurant, and then she keeps on saying like, "Hi, like. I speak fluent English because I've been here like, 15 years!" And Aziraphale just keeps on going and going and going until she just goes like, "Okay, I'll go. 'Cause like, I want you to leave me alone." [C: Yeah.] Aziraphale's very happy. Very happy.
C: Crowley is usually sticking closer- like, Crowley's, like, right next to Aziraphale during Mrs. Cheng. During this, Crowley's practically across the street. [G laughs] And when it's over, Crowley is slumped over in a bench seeming like they're trying to force themself to fall asleep so they don't have to witness it.
G: After it ends, Aziraphale looks at Crowley and Crowley just like, shakes her head disapprovingly. So fucking true.
C: Yeah. Oh, fun fact, in the French dub of this, they obviously couldn't do like, "Aziraphale's terrible at French for this French restaurant," so instead, they have him be like, "Oh, Justine, you're from Paris. I know all about Paris. I'm super cultured. We're gonna have, like, all Paris cheeses and wines at this thing. Do you wanna come? Do you wanna come? And now I'm gonna kiss you on both cheeks, like they do in Paris." [laughs] Like, that's his thing in the French dub, which I think is fun.
G: Yeah, it's pretty funny. I mean, the thing is like, he learned this French in the 1760s. He's probably completely incomprehensible, anyway. [C: Yeah, yeah.] Like, even if he was doing it perfectly.
C: Yeah. And it only took him 23 years to forget- or 33 years to forget it all.
G: Grave erreur he was committing. [C laughs] Crowley like, asks him like, "Why are you speaking like that? Like, we both speak every language in the world. So like, what's with the French?" And Aziraphale says like, “Oh, I learned that the hard way in-"
C: And Neil Gaiman says, "I had a plot hole in Season 1! I'm gonna fix it now."
G: No, I do think this is cute. I do think this is cute.
C: I agree that it's cute, but I think that it was necessitated by Neil Gaiman doing a plot hole in Season 1.
G: Aziraphale's like, "I did night classes with Monsieur [both] Rossignol," which, [laughs] Crystal-
C: Which means "nightingale" and "skeleton key" in French, which I think is so corny, but also made me want to die as soon as I looked that up.
G: Yeah. [C sighs] Crystal, like, messaged me the moment they looked this up in a like, "God, and I didn't even think it was corny! Like, I didn't even immediately roll my eyes. I started screaming and sweating." [both laughing] [C: Yeah.] We literally are crazy! We're the crazy brothers. [C: Crazy brothers!] [both laugh] Well?
C: I just- I think their relationship is a nightingale and a skeleton key, is the thing. So, so be it.
G: Yeah. And then he says a sentence that goes, "I have anon who has a gardener who has a pen," like, in French, and Crowley's like, [laughing] "None of those are true. That's not true." That's a lie, they're lying to you. [C: #unreality, #misinfo.] Yeah, #goncharov, even. Crowley's like, "Well, I only understood you because you've been wittering on about this fucking sentence for the last 250 years."
C: Which doesn't make sense, because, like, Aziraphale just explained that, like, he learned French the hard way, which means that they haven't had this discussion before, which, like, would have been a discussion they'd had if Aziraphale kept saying this practice sentence to Crowley. But, you know, Neil Gaiman wanted to be funny, and you know what? Crowley was the one who said it. So it's fine. It's fine. It's fine, babygirl.
G: There's a way to do this conversation where it is not that glaringly obvious that [both laugh] this is like, something you're making up. Like, you can have Crowley be like, "Oh, you've been doing this for 250 years, like, aren't you tired? You can just speak normally." [G: Yeah, exactly.] And Aziraphale's like, "But I did those night classes!" and it would be the exact same fucking thing that you're telling us, the audience. [C: Mm-hm.] So Nina, though, shows up and overhears some of this and goes like, "Wow. Bravo! Just enjoying the show!" So cute. [C: Aren't we all?] Aren't we all? Yeah. [laughs] I'm so afraid for next episode. Next episode, I won't be enjoying the show. [laughing] You know what I keep on thinking sometimes when I watch Good Omens and I see Aziraphale and Crowley? [C: What?] I'm like, "I shouldn't be privy to this. Like, I shouldn't be seeing this. They're having a moment. Like, I shouldn't be seeing this moment. [C: Yeah.] This is for them only." And like, I'm afraid- For context. I cannot watch the confession scene in Supernatural. Like, I can't. [C: Oh.] Like, when it plays, even in an AMV where a fucking shot of any of those fucking frames show up, like, I feel the need to look away because I'm like, "They're having a moment, and I shan't look." [laughs] And I'm afraid that that's what's gonna happen next episode. [C: It is gonna happen.] I'm afraid- what if I literally cannot talk about it because I shan't look, they're having a moment, it's for them only? And it's literally not because it's in a TV show.
C: I've been considering asking you to just edit the audio of it [G laughs] instead of having us say the lines, [laughs] 'cause I don't know if I could say the lines.
G: Well, we shall be brave. Do not be scared. Do not be afraid.
C: Yeah. No couples, go alone, be brave.
G: Exactly. Anyway, Aziraphale just goes like, "Oh. Hi, Nina, I have a Street Association meeting later, [laughs] and this is a perfectly ordinary invitation with no hidden agenda of any kind." He's so normal. [C: Yeah.] Completely normal thing to say. [C: Normalcore.] Yeah. And Nina reveals to the world that she is a hater, which we already knew, but this time, it's even more fun than when she was a hater last time. [C: Yes.] And it's that, "Are we going to talk about the Christmas lights? Because I have things to say." And Aziraphale is just looking like, "Oh, you're the person. Yeah! We're gonna talk about the Christmas lights." And yeah, she'll be there. She's going to complain about the Christmas lights, she's going to complain about the apostrophes, she's going to complain about the font in Jim's mugs. [C laughs] Amazing.
C: Yes. Yes, she is. And I will be backing her.
G: "I literally will be there, no matter what," is what she said. [C: Mm-hm.] Aziraphale like, walks away. [C starts breathing very heavily] And like, we linger on a shot of his face, and he's like, a bit nervous, and I have no idea what they're trying to communicate to me. But okay, fine. [C continues breathing heavily, screaming, or whimpering for the next few minutes until G finishes describing the scene] Crowley, like, kind of lingers around, and Nina asks like- [laughs] Oh, god. Nina asks, like, "Oh, Aziraphale has never hosted a meeting before. Like, why, the change of heart?" And Crowley goes, "He's unpredictable."
C: I'm biting myself right now. Every time I've watched this scene, I've either bitten myself or dug my fingernails into my hands so hard that the marks stay for fifteen min afterwards. And yeah, that's happening. Alright, let's go. Let's have this hurt.
G: But it's our [laughs]- it's our civic obligation to talk about this scene. [C laughs] And, you know, Crowley's like, "Well, Aziraphale has discovered his civic obligations."
C: Crowley after Aziraphale leaves him for Heaven. [G laughs]
G: Yeah. Nina, amused by this, just goes like, "Oh, you've been together long?" [C screams] [C: Fuck.] And like, Crowley's face is like- I don't even know how to describe it. Last episode, I berated you for telling the audience to just watch the scene [C laughs], but literally, just watch the scene. I cannot describe- I cannot explain the state that I am in or Crowley is in. [C: Yeah, the state of my heart, he was my best friend.] Nina's like, "You and your partner." And Crowley just goes like, "No no no no, that's not true. That's a lie, they're lying to you! [C laughing] Be on the lookout for false information regarding the nature of me and Aziraphale's relationship in the Whickber Street Trader and Shopkeepers Association right now!" And yeah. Nina's like, "Well, I mean, it looks like it. It looks like the two of you are together from here. [C screaming] And like, have you just recently hooked up?" And Crowley is like, just there, going like, "No, no!" And she goes like, "Do you have a boyfriend? Or a husband? Is the bookseller your bit on the side?" And the answer that Crowley gives here is insane. It's crazy. He goes, "He's not my bit on this side. He's far too pure of heart to be anybody's a bit on this side. He's just an angel, I know." He's crazy, and I'm crazy, and you're crazy. [C screams] We're all the crazy brothers!
C: [screams] Okay, I need to calm down before I get genuinely lightheaded by the amount of oxygen exiting me. [breathing stabilizes] Okay. So. [G laughs] I think before I get into the weeks, I do wanna think about Nina's mindset a bit during this scene, 'cause it's like, obviously, it's like, the shipper lesbians do be shipping. But it's like, okay, earlier, she seemed kind of annoyed at them, and like, she's come here after like, a really bad fight with her partner, right, like, one that ended in a breakup, so like, she is like, in a bad mood, currently. [G: Yeah.] And like, I think that we've also talked about how she is aware that Aziraphale and Crowley are like, interfering in her relationships right now. So I feel like she is like- some of it- she is smiling and like, seems sort of friendly at parts of it, and I think it's 'cause like, she, and probably can vibe, like, via the conversations they've had where, like, she just says whatever she wants, and they also say whatever they want. But I think a lot of it is just like, "Oh, you want to be annoying? I'm gonna be so annoying back," which, like, good for her, happy for her. And I don't know. She's probably a little bit bitter about their banter giving how badly her relationship is going, but don't worry, Nina. They're gonna join you real soon. [G laughs] Now- now let's get-
G: You know, I do find it interesting that, like, the first thing she jumps to is like, "Are you like, cheating on someone with Aziraphale?" [C laughing] A bit crazy thing to say, don't you think? Bit of a jump.
C: I guess we're supposed to think it's her projecting wanting to cheat on Lindsay with Maggie on them?
G: That's not true. Is that true? Are we supposed to think that?
C: A lot of this is an attempt to draw parallels because it ends with her saying, "Oh, but other people's relationships always seem way simpler than our own, right?" Like, she is trying to like, connect to-
G: But that also comes out of nowhere. What does that mean?
C: That one, to me, felt like a pointed, like, "Oh, but you keep trying to get me and Maggie together; meanwhile, like, you're out here being stupid." [G: No.] No? [G: I don't know.] I mean, okay, I think what she's thinking mostly is about her and Lindsay.
G: Yeah, of course. I don't think Maggie is in this thought process at all.
C: I just assumed it is because we decided that she's aware that Crowley keeps being annoying about her thing with Maggie. Her not-thing with Maggie.
G: Is he? He was only annoying once in her memory.
C: Yeah, but then Muriel came over, and like, we can assume that she thought that Crowley and Aziraphale were involved in that. [G: Ah, that's true.] But yeah, that last bit did sort of come out of nowhere. I guess- I don't know. I don't know. She's just having a day. Okay, back to- [makes pained sound]
G: God. Okay, what happens, right, is that Nina and Maggie are like, "You should tell Aziraphale that you're in love" or whatever.
C: Ew, yeah, that scene does happen. Ew. Literally fucking say that.
G: I feel feverish, and it's completely unrelated to my current ailments. [both laughing] Ah, god. You know what I'm scared of? [C: What?] I'm scared that he's going to say the words, "I love you" next episode, and like, I'm also scared that he won't, and it will- like, do you know what I mean? [C: Yeah.] Both situations are so bad. Both situations are so Crover. Well. I'm scawed. I'm scawed. [C: It'll be Crover no matter what.] I cannot be brave anymore. [both laugh] I'm afraid.
C: Buck up! Back to the thing, to the words that were being said in this scene. Yeah. Yeah, you said, you can't describe what Crowley looks like, but I think the main things are like, Crowley swallows after Nina asks the question, and then raises her eyebrows, and then, like, fully sticks like, their neck forward to go, "Who?" I- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I, okay. Is Crowley's reaction- see, there's the reading that Crowley didn't know until now, which I don't think is true, but also seems like what they're going for, and also makes me so so crazy and also insane. Like, is that- What do you think? What do you think?
G: I think that reading is reasonable.
C: So what- What was all that then? What was the rest-? [G: It's a reasonable reading.] Yeah. [G: Yeah.] That's crazy. That's crazy. [G: Do I think it?] He's crazy, I'm crazy, we're the crazy brothers. What? [G laughs]
G: I mean, do I believe it? I'm not particularly sure. But I see a reading.
C: Okay, I'm just trying to figure out if, like, the shock and then the denial is- I'm trying to figure out how much of it is like, Crowley just not knowing yet or not believing it.
G: You know, the thing is like, these kinds of things, I feel when people do that like, realization thing like, in fanfiction, 'cause [laughs] I really only read romance in fanfiction, to be quite honest, unless it's completely miserable, like Giovanni's Room. But like, when people do that like, realization thing, I find that so unbelievable. Do you understand what I mean? No. Absolutely not, 'cause I didn't even explain it.
C: I mean, as in from my personal experience, yeah, I don't think I had an italicized "oh" moment.
G: Yeah, yeah. Like, it's never like, "I have never even thought of romance. I've never even considered anything." And then, like, something happens, and you're like, "I am in love with you." I don't think it happens like that. I mean, for me, it doesn't happen like that. I'm sure it has happened to someone somewhere. [C laughs] So like, here, when it's like, "Did Crowley only realize it here?" Like, the answer very well may be yes, but the way the question is asked in the first place, is like, "What do you mean realized?" You know what I mean? [C: Yeah.] 'Cause you can be like- you can like someone for a long time, and, you know. Schrodinger's cat, you know? [C: Yeah.] It's like, I'm in love with you or I'm not in love with you. I'm just not gonna look at the box. And like, I think that more is the more realistic, to me, reading of Crowley's reaction here. [C: I agree.] Or like, his reaction as a character. Like, it's either like, he has known- he knows, he's aware that they look like this. But like, let's just not acknowledge it. And Nina acknowledging it this way is like, "Ooh, don't-" you know. Like, it brings up some feelings. [C: Yeah.] Or it could just be like, "I'm going to lie straight up to her face."
C: Crowley's so- [G: But I don't think Crowley lied to Nina.] When Crowley lies, Crowley either goes really quiet or like, does the Hastur tricking voice. [G: Yeah.] This doesn't- this feels like, Crowley's like, genuinely like, taken aback by this. Okay. First reading is that. Second reading is that this is Crowley realizing that Aziraphale's into them. [G: No.] 'Cause, like, Nina's saying, like, "Both of you look like this," but that doesn't really feel like it. And then I guess the third reading that I think makes more sense with Crowley's actions later but doesn't really make sense with their actions here is that this is more Crowley realizing how obvious they are, and then immediately being really afraid about the Gabriel thing because of that. [G: No.] No.
G: It's not that. [C: It's not it?] No. I think I'm sticking with what I said. This is like, somebody has taken the lid off the box and is forcing you to look inside of the Schrodinger's box, you know.
C: Yeah. And that cat inside is a big, fat, fluffy Persian cat, which is white and drawn by Chekhov. [G: Yeah, exactly.] Yeah, it's- okay. Should we- I want to go back through this line-by-line, but I don't know if I actually have something to say about it line-by-line. So I-
G: I mean, the bit on the side. Are we going to acknowledge that? Are we gonna talk about that?
C: Okay, well, first- okay, I think that first off, Nina asking, "Do you have a husband or a boyfriend?" is so interesting to me. Because, like, Nina calls her partner her partner. Like, Nina's, like, a gender neutral language user in terms of this. [G: Yeah.] But like, she's like, "This guy's gay." [both laugh] Like, "This guy's gay. There's no other options. Like, they have a husband or a boyfriend. Like, that's it." Like, if I assumed that Aziraphale was a bit on the side, I assume, like, Crowley's in like, an unhappy marriage with a woman. But like, no, not only is Crowley gay, Crowley is so openly gay in like, just all of her vibes and everything that there's no way that Crowley could be married to a woman. Like, it has to be a husband or a boyfriend. Love that. Love that for them. [G: Yeah.] And then- And then, yeah. And then there's the bit on his side thing, which- Yeah, you wanna say things about that? You have thoughts that you can articulate?
G: Absolutely none. [laughs]
C: The thing about that is that I feel so much during that line that it took me like, the tenth replay before I realized that it's meant to mirror Maggie's "I've never... [G: Oh yeah, for sure.] I'm not that kind of person!" about having an affair, but like, I was so lost in the love sauce that I forgot that Maggie even existed.
G: No, like, I was going to bring this up actually. Like, I find it interesting that the wording in Maggie's part is "I am not the kind of person to cheat with someone." But with Crowley's, it's like, "I don't care what you think kind of person I am. Aziraphale will never do that!" [C laughs]
C: Yeah. Yeah. [G: I think that's sweet.] I feel like Crowley's line can be read as a combo of “Aziraphale wouldn't do that” and “Aziraphale deserves better than that.” I feel like I read it as the second way more the first few times, but like, now that, like, my brain and reading comprehension is back, it's mostly the first one, I think. But.
G: I mean, I don't know. Obviously, it's a callback to the Maggie scene. It's just, "I would never-" [laughs] That scene is so bad, though! I could not do it. [C laughing] I cannot interact with that scene in good faith 'cause I only have bad faith in it.
C: Yeah. Okay, there's the delivery of "He's just an angel... I know." And it seems that-
G: What is that? I couldn't figure it out.
C: Yeah. People have asked- ugh. Why do I keep bringing up what Neil Gaiman says about things? I shouldn't care. But like, he says them, and I read them, and thus they become part of like, the thought process of my interpretations. People asked if there was like, a comma between "angel" and "I know," but Neil is like, "No, the line is meant to be like, 'He is an angel, but I am acquainted with'" or like, whatever. Like, there's not a comma there. So like, I mean, I guess, like, it feels like Crowley is sort of choking on the word "angel."
G: To me, you know what- The way I was I thought of it was like, Crowley is saying, "Oh, he's an angel." And then, like, realizing what that sounds like, goes like, "[sighs]," you know. Like, "I know."
C: Oh. [makes pained sounds]
G: Like, "I know what this sounds like. I know what this sounds like. But like, still."
C: [muffled pained sounds] I'm craaazy.
G: [laughing] Why is that crazy? Why are you crazy? [C: I don't know! I don't know! I think it's just-] I'm not even joining you. It's just a crazy brother in this one! What do you mean "I'm crazy"?
C: I mean, the whole scene- The reason that it's so much is that we've seen people insinuate to them that they're in a relationship before, but it's always been like, Heaven or Hell using it against them, or as a joke, or like, whatever the fuck. And then we have that like, one guy during like, the 1.04 breakup who's like, "I've been there," but like, that was also a joke. I don't know. This is just- It's the finally saying it out loud of it all, and I feel like Crowley saying "I know" is like- like, Crowley hasn't said anything out loud, and that is like, the closest thing to Crowley saying something out loud. Innit?
G: Yeah, okay. [pained sound] The moment I realized what you're talking about, like, my entire body warmed up. [laughing] Like, my neck is so warm right now. [both laughing] [C screams] I'm crazy-
C: - You're crazy, we're all crazy. The crazy brothers. [pained sounds]
G: I know what you mean, it's like-
C: You're gonna have to cut so much of us saying "the crazy brothers"; we say it too much this episode. It's not even funny.
G: No, I get what you mean! It's like- [pained sounds] saying- God, I can't even say it. It's like saying like, "I know what this looks like. And I know, like, how people see us. And I know what the relationship seems like." And that's like, the closest to an acknowledgement of anything. Yeah. [C makes pained sounds] I'm going- What if it's Crover? And it will be. It will be super over. [C screams]
C: Okay, but if we read it the fucking Neil Gaiman way or whatever-
G: And we shouldn't, even! Because that's literally not how it's delivered.
C: Yeah. Yeah. You know what, David Tennant made an executive decision, and I'll forgive him for the fez now because this was a good executive decision. Yeah. I don't know. And also, yeah, it does feel like a "Oh, god, I did give him a fucking pet name." [laughs] And also, I don't know. I don't think it's played like a "the reminder of Aziraphale's species is a reminder of why it can never, ever happen." But I guess you could read it that way if you wanted. Oh my god. [laughs] It's so Crover. It's so fucking Crover. So what are our answers to the four questions? [G: Oh, god.] Do you think we have answers to the four questions now? [G: Oh, god.] [G laughs]
G: No fucking four questions. What are the four questions? I'm gonna bring up our notes for that episode.
C: When did they know they were- Oh, sorry. "When did they fall in love?" "When did they know that they were in love?" "When did they know the other person was in love with them?" "When did they know the other person knew that they were in love with them?"
G: I cannot do this. Like, this four questions shit is too earnest for me. [both laugh] Like, I will break out in hives, unrelated to my current ailments, even. [C: Yeah.] I mean, like, the thing is like, I feel like these questions provide like, such a- [C: Presume an "oh" moment?] Yup. Presume an "oh" moment and provide like, a clear line in the cement, you know what I mean? And one thing about Aziraphale and Crowley is they do not write in cement. They write in half-specious truths. I sound so fucking corny [C laughing], but like, that's a line from Renata Adler's book [C: Good to know.], so that's why I I'm saying it like that? Like, they really do, right? [C: Yeah.] I think the line, to describe the way they talk to each other as "in half-specious truths" is like, an apt way to describe what they're like. And it's not, you know, it's never like, a clear line in the sand for them, and when we start talking about when with them, it's like, "Man, who even knows?" And it's like, how do you even know with yourself? Like, I'm a real person who like, navigates romance in a completely different way than these two do, and even I don't know anything that I feel ever. That's not true. I don't even know when I start feeling things ever.
C: Yeah. Does Crowley know that Aziraphale-? I don't. I can't even think about it. It's too much. [G: I feel like- I mean, it depends.] Crowley has to suspect. I feel like they have to suspect on everything.
G: The thing about the Schrodinger’s box is that box is sure Schrodingering, you know? [C: Yeah.] It's not- I don't think Crowley thinks Aziraphale is in love with him, just as Crolwey doesn't think Aziraphale isn't in love with him. It's about the "I don't know." It's about the "I'm not sure." It's about the "It could be one, it could be the other." [C: Yeah. And it's also like, if Aziraphale's-] It's about the half agony, half hope! I'm going to fucking die! [both laughing] God.
C: It's also that Crowley doesn't know that Aziraphale is as in love with him as Crowley is in love with Aziraphale. You know, like, just 'cause there's feelings there doesn't mean that there's like, enough for both of them to be happy. And well, guess what happens next! [pained sounds] Anyway! Let's move on in our lives. Okay. Well, I guess there's scenes that happen after this.
-
G: Well, we go back to Hell. Shax is still there, still giving a frankly quite horrible speech. And, I don't know. Like, so far, she's like, "We're going to take the big transporter into Earth and London!" Eric's like, "We can't, 'cause it's out of service, and we have to use the little transporter or take the stairs." And she gets so mad at Eric for interhap- interrupting. [laughs] Interrupting her, just over and over again, that she kills that guy.
C: Yeah, sorry, Eric. [G: Yeah. Straightest thing she's ever done.] I hope in Season 3 you'll get to live.
G: I love how like, I have taken to doing a "So it goes," just like, in Slaughterhouse Five, [laughs] by fucking Kurt Vonnegut, but instead of "So it goes," I just go, "Straightest thing that's ever done!" [both laughing] And it's so fucking- [C: It is.] And yeah. Straightest thing she's ever done.
C: And we find out later that the little transporter is in the fucking Dirty Donkey. [G: Yeah!] They really were starved for sets.
G: Well, I think it's fun. I think it's fun.
C: But it's very dangerous for Crowley to be trying to obtain holy water right next to a place where Heaven or Hell could pop up at any time.
G: Maybe it's a new installment. It's a new transporter. [C: Sure.] And also like, it is a bit weird to have like, Aziraphale have that fucking sigil on his library floor when there's no transporter right next door.
C: Yeah. So we're back to Soho! And- [laughs] Oh my god, I can't do this! Okay, Aziraphale's walking around, looking through this clipboard, and then he hears a whistle, and it's a very nice, gentle whistle, and where it comes from is Crowley sitting on the terrace of the French restaurant, drinking. And I just think that maybe love is real and always was because they were always here and they've always been in love? [G: Yeah.] Just like, a thought that I have.
G: As a one of the people who asked us once said, #WIL- WIR- I cannot spell for the love of God.
C: WI... [G: L.] WL? [laughs] Yeah.
G: No. It's WILWR. "What if love was real?" [C laughs]
C: Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Just like demons. So Aziraphale comes over, and Crowley has this bottle of wine, and like, from their voice you can tell that she's drunk, and later, when you like, see him pour out the remainder of the wine, there was just like, one glassfull left. So yeah, very, very drunk.
G: I don't think that's very, very drunk. But yeah, okay.
C: Really? I guess I've never drank. Is a whole bottle of wine solo not that drunk. [G: I don't think so] Crazy! Oh, god, like, the timeline is that Crowley is confronted once more with the fact that they're in love, and then they go and get schwasted. And they're suddenly very worried about Gabriel in a way that either it's like, he didn't feel it as much before, or it's like, now that he's drunk, the fear that he's been hiding is coming out. I can't tell.
G: I have no idea why this big tone change happens here.
C: Well, yeah, I mean, that's why there's the interpretation that like- I don't- I don't know. It's hard to tell. I think Neil Gaiman’s a bad writer.
G: I do, too. I think it's hard to tell because Neil Gaiman is a bad writer.
C: Yeah. Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't waiting inside. [both] "You like waiting inside." God! [G: Literally, "You like trains." God.] Yeah! But Crowley says that she's not comfortable being in the bookshop because there's an amnesiac archangel there, and he spent all of last night worrying that Gabriel was going to wake up and remember who he is, or that he's faking it and could kill her. I feel like we didn't see a lot of that panic like, when he was explaining gravity to Gabriel or anything earlier, but like, itcould have been hidden. Who knows?
G: [laughing] Could be hidden by Neil Gaiman himself. [both laughing]
C: Yeah. And he asks, like, "When Gabriel smites you, you've been... smited? Smote? And Aziraphale says, "Smitten." [G: Smitten.] Corny as fuck! But-
G: It's so corny, but also, before that, when Crowley, like, starts talking in earnest, like, you can see Aziraphale’s face be like, this face of like, amusement. And like, he's smiling a lot. And it's so cute. What if they are so in love? It's unreal.
C: It's just- It's a very romantic-looking scene, because, again, Aziraphale's basically glowing this entire time, and like, yeah, [G: Literally took.] and like, has that smile on, and there's like, roses on vines, like, on the walls behind them. Like, it's it's crazy. It's crazy, you guys. Aziraphale says, "You're being silly." No, I can't do it! I can't do it right! Everyone watch- [G: [English accent] "You're being silly." It's so cute.] Everyone just watch the episode. [both laughing] But you shouldn't, 'cause it's bad. [G: Yeah.] Aziraphale's just so like, excited about getting to dance with Crowley, I think that it's like, putting literally everything else out of his mind, which includes dismissing Crowley's feelings here, which is very unfortunate. But it does make me crazy, the thing you said in 2.02, about how like, Aziraphale’s thing is like, “Well, we aren't like, in love yet or we haven't realized it yet, but maybe after we dance, we will?” Like, was tonight like, sort of him planning to make a move, but it got interrupted?
G: I mean, doesn't look like, it, 'cause it's such a terribly written episode. [both laugh]
C: But I feel like with the texts of previous episode, I feel like it is, and that's why he's like, being so neglectful of everything else. Like, we are supposed to read him as being neglectful and like, Crowley yelling at him about how like, "People are gonna fucking die, bro" [G: Yeah.] as like, you know, a whole thing. So yeah. Yeah.
G: You know, the thing is like, when Supernatural is inconsistently or terribly written, like, it adds to the character. It adds depth to the character when they're like, written inconsistently, 'cause you're like, "Oh, there's like, a hidden layer to the character," whatever whatever. You know what I mean. Or like, "This character is projecting in a way." But like, when Aziraphale and Crowley are like, written terribly, it's just bad. It's like, "You're stopping the character from coming to life by writing them terribly." [C: Mm-hm.] And that's why it's unforgivable to me. That's why I think, the way that Supernatural is written badly is better than the way Season 2 of Good Omens is written badly. [C: Yeah.] 'Cause you are preventing these characters from coming onto screen.
C: Like, Aziraphale says, like, "Hey, like, it's perfectly safe. Like, he's not Gabriel anymore, except- I mean, he is, but like, he's not. You should just go talk to him." And Crowley goes, "Actually, I will," and then proceed to be the funniest bitch on this Earth. [both laugh] Oh, also, after Aziraphale says that they should go talk to him, like, both of them make faces at each other that are like, "Bitch." which I love. Okay. Also, we have a brief cut into the coffee shop, where, seems like it's around closing time 'cause Nina's wiping off the chalkboard, and she gets two texts from Lindsay saying that like, they're gonna go stay at their sister's now so at least someone cares about them, blah blah blah. And you know what? [G: She deleted the uglyass mesenging app.] Yeah, exactly. They got rid of the uglyass messaging app. Instead, the messages appear as like, angry words on the chalkboard. And I think that actually works 'cause it's made clear that "This is just like, how we're gonna represent it, not like, what it looks like on the phone." [G laughing] But like, it works.
G: But like, it literally does look like that on the phone, though, is the thing, 'cause we see her phone, and that's what it looks like on it. [C laughs]
C: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [both laugh] I mean, we also see the chalkboard. But it's like, yeah, there is like the- it is different. [G: Yeah.] And then it ends with Nina- Nina goes like, "Fuck!" and like, slams her hands against the counter, [G: And erases the messages.] and then she sighs and starts wiping off the chalkboard again. And yeah. This is, I think this is a decent scene. Okay. [laughs] Now we cut to Jim's room. He's having fun messing about with the lamp, and Crowley swaggers in, definitely drunk, pours in the last of the bottle, sunglasses on, and goes, "Let there be light. Hello... Gabriel." This is so irrelevant, but during this scene Crowley is drinking the wine by holding, like, the body of the glass with her pinky pointed up. Like, damn. This guy really is gay. [laughs] And it's different- [laughs] I went back to previous episode to look at how he holds glasses, and this is the only time that there's the pinky up technique. Like, in Season 1, Episode 1, it's pointer finger up. In Season 1, Episode 6, it's like, holding the champagne glass by the bottom, and in Season 2, Episode 4, like, their ring and pinky fingers are curled and they're using their other three fingers to hold it, so, I don't know. This doesn't matter. I thought it was fun, though. Anyway. So- Sorry are you there, or is it just that [G: I'm here, I'm here.] what I said was so irrelevant that you have no sounds about it. Okay.
G: No, it was so completely fucking irrelevant, but go on.
C: Okay, I look forward to it being cut out. [G laughs]
G: You know, I'll keep it in, just for that. [C laughs]
C: Slay. So, Jim's, you know, confused about this. And Crowley's like, "Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeah, no, you're Jim now. Do you have everything just like the way you want it?" And Gabriel's like, "Oh, yeah, no, Mr. Fell's been really nice to me," etc. And Crowley goes-
G: And Crowley goes, "Hasn't he just." Yeah, and it is the most adorable thing to me personally. [C: Yeah. Yeah.] He loves this turn of phrase. He uses it in Job, too.
C: Yeah. Yeah. "Isn't it just the source of drunkenness?"
G: No. I mean, yes. But also, he tells the kid, "Aren't I just?" when- [C: Yeah.] When she goes-
C: "You're a funny-looking angel." [G: It's so cute! I love it.] I love you, Crowleyisms. She goes, "Surprising, really, given that the last time you two met, you tried to destroy him." You know, Jim's like, "I don't remember that." And then Crowley does like, a really stupid move where he says that he and Aziraphale-
G: Yeah. Why are you telling him this? [C: Yeah, what?] 'Cause at this point he thinks Gabriel is- [C: That this is Gabriel!] yeah, pretending to Jim or whatever. So like, what are you doing, Azira- [laughs] What are you doing, Crowley? [C laughs]
C: I don't know. I don't think that they're like, drunk and angry and lashing out to the point where like, this would slip them, but like, I don't know. I guess both of them are so incompetent it's unreal. And like, I feel like- I don't know how- I feel like he's like, "Rationally, I'm pretty sure that this isn't Gabriel, but like, I'm doing various things during this scene to test him." But that doesn't have to include being stupid, but like, if being stupid is just part of Crowley's personality now, like, go for it, girl. This is a bad move, though. It's definitely a bad move. Yeah.
G: Will it bite him in the ass? Or the arse, as they-
C: I guess I can't- I've decided that since there's only one episode left, I will maintain the sanctity of that episode. [G exhales] [G: So it does happen.] No. [both laughing] It doesn't.
G: Wow! That sanctity meant nothing to you. [C laughs]
C: I think sanctity only matters when it's like, to make the episode better. But like, if you're like, "Oh, something's gonna happen! It's gonna be interesting!" like, I'm not gonna let you keep thinking that if it's not gonna happen and not gonna be interesting.
G: Why did you let me think that they were going to play basketball this episode, then? [C laughing]
C: You're right. That was cruel and unusual of me. [G laughs] And I think it's also that Crowley has never expressed the full pain of being there out loud to Aziraphale and can't do it to anyone else, [G sighs] and like, it is all just sort of spilling over. But I think that if Crowley just met someone called Aubrey Thyme, who works as a therapist in Rochester, New York, like, everything would be good in Season 2. But, you know, unfortunately, it didn't happen. Crowley goes, "And I do remember, oh, very clearly, the look on your face, Archangel Gabriel, when you told my only friend to shut his stupid mouth and die." My only friend!
G: Bro. [C: Bro.] Crowley, you need to go to the club. [C laughs]
C: [laughing] I can't believe Crowley was 6,000 years old in Good Omens. He needs to be at the club. [G: She should have been at the club, yeah.] I feel like there's hope for Crowley being friends with Nina in Season 3 [G: This is true.], and I hope it happens, 'cause I feel like I like their rapport. [G: You know what?] And it might just be because the actors are such good friends, but still, I think they're good together.
G: Crowley and Muriel. I think they could work out.
C: I mean, so far we just seem like Crowley like, trying to trip them up and antagonize them. But I think-
G: But yeah, that's a good basis for [laughing] a relationship. [both laugh] [C: Yeah, yeah.] I mean, like, have you seen Aziraphale and Crowley in the Garden of Eden? She literally just straight up lied that like, "I don't think you can do the wrong thing because you're an angel," and Aziraphale's like, "Oh my god, you're so right." And then they were friends, after 6,000 years.
C: It's true. It's true. But yeah, I do- 'cause I feel like the only evidence we keep going back to about Crowley having friends is the cut scene regarding Leonardo da Vinci, and like, it was cut. It didn't happen. Crowley literally doesn't have friends. I mean, he and Mrs. H were like, friendly, but I don't think they're friends. So like, yeah. Do you think that- but okay, I also think that Crowley is Aziraphale's only friend. [G: Oh, yeah.] Yeah. God, they both need to be at the club. [G: They need to go to the club. For fucking real.] Yeah. Crowley finally takes off their sunglasses, and I feel like at this- before this, like, it sort of sounded like, she was like, about to cry on the line, but then you like, you see her eyes, and they are dry, but they are like, very angry, and the pupils are very- like, the irises are smaller than usual, I would say. Like, it's the opposite of the whole eye yellow thing. It's like she's holding herself in so so tightly. And goes, "And I. Did not. Care. For it."
G: When Crowley removed those fucking shades, I did cheer. I was like, "OMG!" [C: Yeah.] And it's an intimidation tactic right now, right? [C: Mm-hm.] But like, I think it's nice. [C: Nice how?] I mean, isn't it so fascinating that for Crowley, removing glasses is like, both, a form of vulnerability, but also like, intimidation. [C: Yeah. Yeah.] I think there's something to be said about that, which, I don't know. [C starts pained laughing] I'm not gonna say it, 'cause I cannot think it. [C: Yep. Okay. Mm-hm. So-] [laughing] Why are you making those noises?
C: I am thinking about Crowley’s sunglasses in the next episode.
G: Oh, it's because, like, he takes it off for [C: Mm, don't!] the confession and then puts it back for-
C: Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me.
G: [laughs] We're doing a podcast!
C: Jim, the whole time, you know, is quite innocent-looking, and is like, "Oh, I'm so sorry about that. I hope I'm not causing him any trouble now." And Crowley goes, "More bad news for you, Jimmy boy! [laughs] You're making him risk his entire existence for you." And Jim's like, "Sorry. Is there anything I can do?" And [laughing] Crowley says, "Kill yourself!" [both laugh] [G: God.] Crowley tells him to jump out the window. [G: Hell yeah!] I feel like this is, like, 65% to 70% just testing if he's Gabriel. But a lot of it is also, "Well. I am angry right now, and I would like to see it." Gabriel, you know, crawls out the window, sits in it, and seems about to push himself off. And, you know, a moment of suspense, and then Crowley shouts, "Stop!" But then immediately goes into like, "Okay, so if you're like, actually not, Gabriel, then like, what are you?" So Gabe- or I guess Jim. Is that- how's Jim choosing to identify right now? Jim? Sure. [G: Yeah.] Okay. Jim says that he feels like a house that someone lived in a long time ago, but now the person is gone, and the house can sort of feel where the things used to be. Which I quite like as an explanation. [G: Yeah. I do to.] Crowley pushes him to remember things, like, specifically, "What's the Something Terrible that's coming for you?" Gabe, he can't. And he also says that he put his memory in a matchbox- He took it out and put it in a matchbox, and now it's everywhere. And the other thing that is something that he remembers is, "If it happens again, I can make it seem like an institutional problem." Crowley's like, "Okay, yeah, you don't remember shit. You're just looking at where the furniture isn't." And then goes out, and then, like, midway through leaving is like, "Ugh. Do you want a hot chocolate?" And Jim, who's been like, lying on the bed covering his face immediately sits up and nods. Gabriel has his own hot chocolate tin and his own mug. I guess it's just heating the water that he needs Crowley to do.
G: I mean, Crowley also puts the [laughs] hot chocolate powder in the water, you know?
C: You're right, you're right. I don't want to diminish her labor. [G laughs]
G: [laughing] Did you think the mug that Crowley give Gabriel that Gabriel goes, "You're a good person" or whatever about is literally just a steaming mug of water? [both laughing] Sorry, I think that's so funny.
C: Yeah, "This is a special kind of hot chocolate. You might like it." Gabriel says, "Thank you. You're really nice." [laughing] Hilarious thing to say to the person who just told you to kill yourself. [G: I mean-] And Crowley goes, "Don't thank me. And I'm not. Ugh. Nobody would believe you, anyway."
G: To be fair to Crowley, he did tell Jim like, kill yourself [C laughing], but he also told him, "Noo! Don't kill yourself." [C: Yeah.] So it's fine. It's like PEMDAS. [C: PEMDAS, yeah.]
-
G: I mean, we go to Heaven, and Muriel is doing a report.
C: Let's run over the timeline of Season 2 for a hot second. Okay. At the end of Episode 1, Heaven's like, "He's in the bookshop." [G laughs] In Episode 2, they come over and say, "He's in the bookshop." Aziraphale says, "No." And they say, "We're gonna send someone tomorrow to check." In the first ten minutes of Episode 3, Muriel says, "I'm here to check!" [G laughs] And they say, "No," and then Muriel fucks off for the rest of the episode. And then in Episode fucking 5, four episodes after Heaven first suspected Gabriel was in the bookshop and two episodes after Muriel was sent, we have Muriel coming to Heaven and saying, "He's not in the bookshop." [both laughing]
G: Neil Gaiman, what is this? Neil Gaiman, I'm talking to you directly now. I'm acknowledging you directly as a person and a writer.
C: Neil Gaiman, come listen to Rubbish and Probably a Podcast and then answer our fucking questions.
G: [laughing] What is this, Neil? Also, like, they make a point of zooming in from like, the matchbox. 'Cause the thing is I'm like, the clues that they present, like, everything is like, told to you, but not in any- I don't know. Maybe, like, next episode, when the entire mystery is revealed, I'm like, "Whoa! That's so smart!" [C laughing] But like, [laughs] one, I doubt it. Two, it is like, so stupid a little bit that everything rotates around the Resurrectionist Pub, and it's all we're shown, and everything is there. And like, we were there for like, three minutes in Episode 3. And, as we have said, like, Aziraphale did a really bad job of investigating that joint. [C: Mm-hm.] So like, it's both like, so in your face that "This is the thing that everything is about," or whatever. But also like, that's the only thing we know about it. Like, nothing is of import. I mean, we've been saying this throughout the season, "Nothing is of import. Nothing is of import," and literally, nothing is of import. What else do you want me to say? Nothing is of import. Bit frustrating. Well. Muriel starts reporting, and they go, "Oh," they repeat, like, what Crowley said about "You can only tell if humans are in love by waiting a few days, because humans are weird, and that's how it works." And what I loved about this is Michael literally just goes like, "Yeah. I know that." And it's like, she's saying this like she really does know it and it really is the truth when it literally is just a line that Crowley said to Muriel once. And like, it is at this point in the episode where I was like, "Damn, maybe all that shit we gave Aziraphale for being so bad at investigating, maybe it was just fundamental to angelhood. Maybe they're all just bad at this. Like, so bad it's unreal." [C: Mm-hm.] Oh, and, you know, they ask more things about Gabriel, and Muriel's just like, "Not in the bookshop at all, because it's just Aziraphale-" And Uriel, just like, clarifies that like, "Oh, that's the traitor." And Muriel is like, "Oh, yeah, that's the traitor. He seems very... traitorous." [C laughs] So fucking true. "And his grumpy friend, Mr. Crowley!" Michael is like, "Oh, yeah, that's the demon Crowley." And Muriel, just goes, "Oh, I suppose that explains the grumpiness." It's so cute! I mean, I don't even think Muriel saw Crowley be truly grumpy. At least not towards them, right?
C: Yeah, not really. I mean- I mean, I guess Crowley stormed in being like, "Can you just not take the car," etc etc, but after that Crowley was quite fake-smiley.
G: Yeah. And also, like, Crowley, is the one who, like, tells them about Nina and Maggie and what to do and all that. But like, I just suppose Muriel, under all that pretense, was still like, "Yeah, no, no. This is a grumpy, grumpy friend." [C laughs] Anyway, Muriel also says like, "Oh, there was also the assistant, but like, I never got to see the assistant." And at this point, like, Uriel and Michael are like, "No no no no. There's an assistant? Oh, yeah, there's like, an assistant. The one that's talking about books." And Uriel goes, "No no no no. That's Aziraphale himself. He likes books." [both laugh]
C: Yeah, that was very funny. I'm very glad Uriel got that line.
G: So fucking true. Funniest angel in the garrison. [C: Yeah, yeah. It's true over all media properties.] Yeah. And Muriel is like, "Oh, and also, by the way, they like, had a secret meeting and everything." And Michael's like, "Oh my god, that's great! What'd they say?" And Muriel is like, "I don't know. I didn't listen. It was private." And like, you know what I like about this is, they are trying to be niceys to Muriel, don't you think? [C: Yeah. Yeah. Like. They are both like, frustrated, but they don't like, yell at them or anything.] Yeah, 'cause, I mean, I don't really remember what it was like with- No, no, I do remember what it was like. Like, I suppose with Aziraphale, they kind of do this, too, right? Where it's like, "Ah, just let Aziraphale do his thing. Ah, just let him try to stop the Apocalypse." But like, they don't like, outwardly like, scold him or anything until like, it was very obvious that like, Aziraphale is trying to get away with like, Heaven's bidding or whatever. So I guess this is how they do this thing. This is how they run this place. [C: Yeah.] They just like, look at you like you're so stupid. [C laughs] And it's up to you to figure out if that means you are stupid or not.
C: Yeah, yeah. And not everyone has a Misha Collins to help them.
G: And anyway, Crowley goes down the steps, and Aziraphale is there, setting up the ball. Aziraphale is turning the fucking- [C: Bookshelves around?] shelves. [C: With curtains and things on the back of them, or something.] So yeah. Aziraphale's solution for a party is, "Let's get some cool curtains in this thing." A chandelier. Absolutely no chairs. Well, there is a chair, 'cause like, Nina sits on one. But like, [laughing] it is a bit funny that like, one of the few things we're told explicitly about this party is that Aziraphale didn't want chairs to be there. [C laughing] Fucking asshole! Crowley goes down and is like, "Damn. What the fuck are you doing?" And Aziraphale goes, "Wait and see!" And Crowley says, "Wait and see? Do you know how irritating that is."
C: And obviously that was part of promo material before Season 2. That clip was obviously posted. [G: What? Which clip?] Oh, the "wait and see" thing. Yup.
G: Why, even? It's nothing. It's a nothing-
C: Well, the point of it is just like, "Hey, things are gonna happen in this season. Wait and see. This is Amazon Prime."
G: And they literally don't happen. They literally don't happen. This is episode 5 of 6.
C: A lot of things pass in the final fifteen, but yeah. It sure is.
G: Well, I mean, I think it's also cute that Crowley- like, Crowley already saw all of this happen. Like, all of this is happening. Aziraphale is turning the fucking bookshelf magically. There is like, visual indicators of something happening. And Crowley still goes, "Oh, you're up to something. I can smell it." [C laughing] So true. [C: Yeah.] Aziraphale just goes like, "Well, if you're just going to be there and like, complain all your fucking life, go out-" [C: Yeah. He says "carp."] Yeah, I like that word. [C: Yeah.] And he goes, "Go check in on Maggie or Nina. Make sure they're coming here." And so Crowley heads out to, I don't know. Walk around. And before he can fully go, he takes a peek over at the window, and Aziraphale is summoning a chandelier. So we go to Mrs. Sandwich. She's going out of her shop, and she's entering the bookshop. And as she enters, like, her entire outfit changes.
C: Oh, also we see signs in her in her brothel [G: Oh, yeah.], and the dimmest one, one that like, you can't really see very well at all unless you like, saw posts about it, says, "Don't pay the guy in the sunglasses. He doesn't work here."
G: Does it really? [C: Yes.] [laughs] That's so funny. [C: It's great.] I mean, like, later, they talk, and they do seem to have a rapport, right?
C: Who? [overlapping] Oh, Mrs. Sandwich and Crowley! Yeah, no, yeah! They're friendly. They're vibing. [G: It's cute. They're vibing.] Yeah. Yeah, they hang out there sometimes.
G: Damn. So like, Crowley is like, in that place enough to be like, mistaken as a worker there [C: Yeah.], and [laughing] Aziraphale has no idea what Mrs. Sandwich does. [C: Yeah.] I mean, we'll get into this later-
C: Maybe Crowley is at the club.
G: [laughing] Yeah! Maybe Crowley is at the club. And maybe Aziraphale- should Aziraphale be at the club? [C laughs] Let's take a deep dive into the intellectual discussion, an exploration of the human psyche, of whether Aziraphale should be at the club.
C: Aziraphale was at the club in the 1880s. [G laughs]
G: That's true! Yeah. Should he come back to the club now?
C: You know I've never been to the club. [both laughing] This is a question for you.
G: Ah, that's true. I don't even like the club. Me and Aziraphale can hang out outside and smoke [C: Yeah.] Indonesian cigarettes, which are the only things I smoke now. So like, the outfit change with Mrs. Sandwich is like, she goes from wearing like, a hoodie, or just, you know, just a regular like, long sleeve that's scrunched up a bit and all that, and she also just has her hair up in a bun. But when she enters, like, the top turns into this frilly, sparkly one, and now she has a headdress and everything. [C: With flowers.] And yeah. Place looks magical, too. Anyway, she seems to be one of the first or probably the first person here. [C: Besides the musicians.] And she says like- oh, yeah. And Aziraphale's like, "Hi!" [laughs]
C: Yeah. And Aziraphale is not dressed up [G: Yeah.], but apparently, in the behind the scenes or something, the costume designers wanted to make Aziraphale an outfit, but Michael Sheen was like, "I don't think he would wear anything different for this." so then they didn't. [G: I think he would, though!] And like, on one hand, I am sad that we didn't get Aziraphale in an outfit, 'cause that would be fun. But, on the other hand, I am- I do get very sappy when I think of the ball as like, Aziraphale like, hoping that this is where he and Crowley will realize that they've had a grave misunderstanding and they've been secretly, deeply in love the whole time. I like the idea of him being like, "Well, this is what I'm comfortable with wearing, and this is what I look like when I love them, and this is what they look at when they love me." So that's nice.
G: Well, maybe. But they should have put that coat they put on Gabriel on Aziraphale instead. [C: Oh, absolutely.] Mrs. Sandwich comes in and is like, "Why am I invited in this thing?" And Mr.- Aziraphale says, "Oh, but you're a Whickber Street Trader, aren't you? And a pillar of the community." Yeah, Mrs. Sandwich is like, "Oh, I don't know. Like, work rush and everything, lots of regulars at this hour." And Aziraphale goes, "Well, I'm sure your young ladies know what to do by now." and then goes, "Well, I've never asked. What is it exactly that they do?"
C: Stupid joke. Stupid fucking joke! One, he was inside Madame Tracy's head-
G: You think this is a joke? You think Aziraphale's making a joke?
C: No, I think Aziraphale means it. [G: Ah, okay.] I'm saying it was written- [G: That this is a joke of the show. Yeah.] Yeah. He was inside Madame Tracy's head. They were in the same body. Also, he was a member of the fucking Hundred Guineas Club, where, like, most of the waiters also doubled as sex workers. Like, he would know. He would be aware. This is a stupid joke.
G: Mrs. Sandwich says, "They stand on their own two feet, like the government said." [C laughs] And then we go to Crowley, who is getting Maggie and Nina and knocks on Maggie's shop, and [laughs] Maggie looks so nice! The thing is, as I've said, like, earlier, in this episode, I did try to go in thinking, "They're probably going to resolve the Maggie/Nina thing this episode, or we're going to come close to resolving it so it can be resolved early next episode, because we have other things to get to next episode." [C: Mm.] So I was like, "I'm going to open my heart. My soul, even. My body. [both laughing]" No, but like, the thing is like, every time I see Maggie in a new outfit, a new hairstyle, I'm like, "Well, everything is forgiven. [C laughs] Everything's wonderful." And I just think Maggie looks so nice this episode! So like, at this point, she's still wearing something different. I mean, I do find it interesting that, like, Nina doesn't change outfits but Maggie does.
C: No, the colors of her outfit changes, and she has these like, gold beads in her dreadlocks that she didn't before.
G: Nina? Okay, I get what you mean. It is a different cardigan. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was the same! Well. [C: No.] But yeah, I mean the gravity of the change, though, like, you see Mrs. Sandwich's change- [C: Yeah, it's way smaller.] I hope they get to keep those outfits. Like, the magic shop keeper's- [C: Well, we see them go outside.] No, no, exactly. Like, the yellow dress that they gave that spouse, the magic shop keeper's spouse, like, his spouse? Amazing outfit! I love that dress.
C: I think maybe the amount that their outfit changes might correspond to the amount that they're under the spell. [G: Yes.] Because Maggie's outfit doesn't change as much, but Nina's changes the least, and Nina seems the most aware of what's going on.
G: Huh. That's interesting. Yeah. Maggie's outfit right now is like, she's in a red shirt and in this like, fun headband, I think. And like, when she goes out later, you see that she has like, a little patch on her jacket! And it's so cute. And we see her in a different outfit later, and it's also so nice. I love Maggie's outfits. I don't know. Another guy enters and then asks for the chairs, and Aziraphale's like, "We will never have any chairs in here." [C laughs] And they don't. And also like, Mrs. Cheng enters, and it's like, really ominous. [C: Yeah.] For a second, I was like, "Is she going to be- [C: Is she going to be evil? Right.]" Yeah. But like, they don't go anywhere with that. They'd DGAF about this. I don't even know why they kept this fucking thing in. But yeah. Crowley goes to Nina, and Nina's in the coffee shop, and Crowley is asking why the name of the coffee shop, and Nina just says, "Everything else is taken. What do you want?" [laughs] So fucking true. And Crowley is like, "The meeting, blah blah blah." But Nina's like, "I don't wanna go to the fucking meeting anymore because my partner, Lindsay, has texted me, and they're now my former partner. So I'm not going to fucking do all that. I'm just gonna go home and drink and cry."
C: And [laughing] Crowley goes, "Don't go home far away from the attack that's gonna happen with all the demons! [G: Yeah!] Go to the place they want to attack! It'll be the safest there!"
G: No. Because, like, this is the point where, like, Crowley is like, "Oh, something's happening." I don't know. Just let her leave! [C laughing] It's like- is the concern like, "You're out here in the street"?
C: Maybe. Like, "You don't have time to like, get all the way home. You should just go to the bookshop." Maybe.
G: And like, we, we know that she rides a bike, so she won't be like, in a car, so.
C: That's true. Okay, fine. I'll forgive this.
G: There's also like, a bit where, like, Nina is like, apprehensive of going into the shop, and Crowley just goes, "For once, just like, trust someone in your life." Or like, "For once in your life, just trust somebody." [C: Uh-huh. You don't know her like that.] Which, I don't know, feels uncalled for. [C: Yeah.] You don't know her! Shut your stupid mouth. [C laughs]
C: Yeah, is it meant to be like, a projecting thing? Because I don't really see it.
G: Stop projecting on every fucking one in your fucking life, everyone! [C laughs] That goes for everyone. You, listener, stop projecting. [both laughing] And then Nina goes- [C: "You're weird!"] into the bookshop. Who says "You're weird"?
C: And then Crowley- Nina says, [G: Ah, no no no.] "You're weird!" And then Crowley yells in her face, "Ugh, do it!" [laughing] And then she like, runs to the bookshop. Honestly, I think they could be friends, and I want them to be friends in Season 3, as long as Maggie is not fucking there.
G: Anyway, she goes into the bookshop, and everybody's there, and everybody is speaking a certain way.
C: Yeah. I don't. I don't even think this is how Austen characters talk. It's like a parody of how Austen characters talk. [G: Here, do we-] But yeah, Aziraphale's mind-controlling them.
G: Do we talk about like, whatever the fuck Aziraphale-? [C: Yeah, let's do that.] What is Aziraphale doing?
C: Why is he doing this? This isn't good or fair to any of the people who are here.
G: First of all, like, I mean, the way it is is like, "This is to make Nina and Maggie fall in love." Let's look at it first from the perspective of the people outside of Nina and Maggie. Like, you are using all these people who have previous plans tonight [C laughs] to like, be accessories in this mind-boggling plot that you've established that you want to do. [C: Yeah.] It's like, "Okay." I mean, horrible, obviously. Looking at it from the Nina and Maggie situation - what is this supposed to accomplish? 'Cause like, there's also like, a scene here where, like, Nina goes, "I know I feel bad, but I don't feel bad right now. Why is that?" And it's like, so not only are you manipulating like, the environment or the setting or whatever, their actions, even, like, even their emotions, are being controlled? [C: Yeah.] That's crazy! [C: Yeah.] So like, what's the game plan? They fall in love here. They share a dance, they go, "Oh, we have terribly misunderstood each other and are actually deeply in love." And then what?
C: Yeah. They leave. [G: They leave-] Like, your spell on them isn't going to stay.
G: And then they just have to sustain a romantic relationship [C laughs] because you decided that they must fall in love?
C: I mean, I guess all they have to do is kiss one time in front of Muriel or something.
G: Yeah, but still! [C: Yeah.] Still! [C: Yeah.] I mean, it's just so mind-boggling!
C: It's bad. And he's putting all their lives at risk the entire time, too.
G: That, too. I don't know. It's just- it is so odd. The way they do it here becomes more of, "Oh! Like, Nina knows something weird is up," and, like, their their moment of connection becomes them like, going like, "What the fuck is going on?" And like, in a way, I understand that, where it's like, "Something weird is happening to us, and we're commiserating with each other" or whatever. But like, they only interact with it in this way from Nina and Maggie's perspective. Aziraphale still thinks that this is a completely fine thing to do
C: Crowley does keep yelling at him to stop it, which I guess is sort of meant to be like-
G: Yeah. But not because of the morality of the situation, [C: Yeah, not very much that.] but because there are fucking demons outside. It's a completely different concern. [C: Yeah.] It's just so odd. It's so odd.
C: Yeah. That the show thinks this is okay, I guess, is the issue, yeah.
G: The show thinks it's okay. And like, if Aziraphale is doing it, but like, it is presented even in like, just the most minute way we can interpret it as like [C: Critical.], in awareness that this is like, a fucked up thing to do, I'm like, "Okay, fine. Like, maybe Aziraphale is fucked up [C laughs] and evil, whatever." [C laughing] But like, it's like that thing in Episode 3 when Aziraphale is like, "Well, you should have your skin in the game," and like, the Dr. Dalrymple was like, "Oh, but I don't wanna." [C laughs] And like, we are supposed to take that as like, a completely [both] reasonable thing to say [C: Yeah.], and the moral high ground in this situation. And it's here, it's like, we're supposed to think this is like, fine. It's fine. It's odd, but like, it's fine. And like, I don't know. Maybe I'm not giving it the benefit of the doubt. Like, having Nina constantly be like, "Oh, it's so weird! What's going on? Isn't this so weird?" Maybe that's like, our sign to be like [C: Yeah, maybe.], "Oh, the show is trying to acknowledge that this is weird." But like, [laughs] we're not seeing this show from Nina's perspective. We're seeing it from Aziraphale and Crowley's, and they don't give a shit about it. And it's like, you know, not everything about everything needs to be the moral decision, writing-wise, but like, it's just mind-boggling to me that this is so obviously like, a terrible thing that Aziraphale is doing, [C: Uh-huh.] and there is zero acknowledgement of it. Zero! [C: Yeah.] Not in any way that matters. Like, you do this thing, and it could be interesting. It could be interesting that Aziraphale thinks this is fine. It could be. And you do this. You don't even interface with it in any way interesting. You write a terrible episode outside of this also, [C laughing] and it's like, "What are you even doing here?" [C laughing] What is supposed to be said by this scene? What is supposed to be said by Aziraphale doing all this? Nothing!
C: [laughing] As Neil Gaiman said on Tumblr, "It made sense when I wrote it."
G: Like, okay, fine. Aziraphale does this. What does it say about anything? [C: Nothing.] Nothing is said about anything! There's nothing! It's nothing about nothing! It's- it's- [sighs] [C: Yeah.] I'm irritated. I'm so irritated. [C: Yeah, it's an irritating situation.] It's just- it's such a bad episode. And like, if it's just a bad episode, like, okay, fine. But it's also, like, it's layers of bad. It's like, bad, like, aesthetically, it's bad when you- like, the writing is bad, the fucking like, implications, [both laugh] the moral implications- like, not only is it bad writing-wise, it's also bad morally. [both laughing] Pick a struggle! I don't know. I hate it.
C: Yeah. Yeah. I don't like it. I dislike it. [G: I dislike it.] Gabriel's in a fun suit, though? [laughs] [G: This is true.] Yeah. We see Mutt and his spouse, who's played by Andrew O'Neil, who uses they/them pronouns, though I don't think that's said in the show, but the use of the word spouse does imply nonbinary. So- I think earlier, I was like, "I don't like how all the angels and demons that use they/them pronouns are like, played by cis women," but hey, we have a nonbinary character played by a nonbinary person. At least we've got that. Thanks.
G: Yeah. I also- I think part of me also- 'cause having only angels and demons like, play your nonbinary characters is like, "Oh, but like, they're non binary because they're angels and demons." [C: Yeah, they're biologically sexless, blah blah blah.] Yeah. Yeah. Having like, a human being be played as nonbinary [C: Yeah.], I think it's lovely. I think it's so lovely.
C: I think it's nice. And it's nice that there are human beings who are gay in this season [G: Yeah!], even if they have a nothing relationship [laughs] [G: Yeah.], in terms of Maggie and Nina. Mutt and his spouse seem nice.
-
C: We go to the outside, where there's like, a big old crowd of demons wearing like, surgical masks, 'cause, I mean, this was filmed during COVID times. I guess they're making references. And they're like, growling and grunting and whatever and going nearer to the bookshop, and the entire ground is covered in green fog now. And [laughing] Maggie's just walking over to the bookstore [G laughs], not a care in the world, nothing in her head, not noticing any of this. Even when she hears Crowley yell, not ten feet away from her, like, "What are you guys doing here?"
G: No, exactly. She DGAF also, and I support that. She was like, "I think this is a badly-written episode, and I don't care." [C: "I'm not part of this."] She was right to do it.
C: Yeah. Crowley's asking, "What the fuck are any of you doing here?" Like, "This is like, going against the rules." But they're all demanding Gabriel. She calls them "junior, bottom-of-the-barrel demons, practically the damned," which I don't know what that means exactly, but, I don't know. We're not gonna find out. And we go inside of the ball with Crowley. Crowley swings in. There's no outfit change, which is sad. [G: Yeah.] But I mean, again- [G: But if it's supposed to imply the-] Yeah, with my earlier interpretation. Well, that's nice. Or, if you mean, like, it implies how much you're under the spell [G: Yeah.], in which case, yeah, Crowley's not under the spell. And then we get [sighs] this scene that I don't like, where Mrs. Cheng and Mrs. Sandwich are talking. And Mrs. Cheng's asking her about her job, and it's made clear that Aziraphale not only put a swear filter on this party, but also put a content filter. And the content filter means that Mrs. Sandwich cannot say out loud that she runs a brothel. Instead, she keeps saying that she is a seamstress and gets annoyed and a little bit distressed when she realizes that she can't. But Mrs. Cheng asked her to describe the profession. So then, you know, she says some shit about like, "When a gentleman finds himself in want of the tender attentions of a wife, he may take himself to my establishment and find, like, some ladies that could mend his shirt or darn his socks" or whatever whatever. And, you know, the one good thing about the scene is that she and Mrs. Cheng, like, definitely fucked nasty after this, [laughs] but [groans]. It's a minute and six seconds long. [G: It's a long scene.] It could have not been that. It could just not been here. Like, the entire joke is just, "Haha! Aziraphale put a content filter on. And you all know that she runs a brothel, but she can't say it! Tee-hee-hee. Does this have anything to do with Amazon's ratings like, of like, PG-13 of whoever can watch the episode? Maybe! Tee-hee-hee!" Like, I'm- [groans] I'm annoyed. There were sex workers in this era. There were sex workers in basically every era and place. Like, this is dumb. Like, it's not- I mean, I guess it's anti-Austenian in that like, she probably wouldn't mention it that much. But, like, it's- I don't know. I just hate the idea of like, "Your job is too nasty to be part of my nice party!" [laughs] Like, fuck off. Okay. Maggie approaches Nina, and they like, smile and laugh at each other [G: Yeah.], even though they're like, not friends. I guess maybe we're to assume that they've had other conversations since Nina apologized where they've been friendlier while Maggie's getting her skinny latte, but like- [G: That was yesterday, right?] Yeah, it was yesterday. [G laughs] So never mind. [both laughing]
G: I mean, if I'm being honest, I did take screenshots of the scene where Maggie is walking towards Nina, 'cause her blouse is so beautiful. She's wonderful.
C: Yeah, she's wearing some blue, silky dress, and there's like, nice pearl buttons on it, and like, this white trim [G: Yeah.] or whatever. It looks kinda like a really nice pajama shirt, but like, it also looks nice. [laughs] It is a really nice pajama shirt. [G laughs] [G: Yeah.] And Maggie holds out her hand, and Nina takes it, which, I don't think she would fucking do that. But I guess they're mind-controlled.
G: I mean, to be fair- I mean, this is all true, of course. But also, the way Nina, like, toddles [laughs] to walk away to the dance floor, I thought that was so cute! And this is what I mean, like, I was trying to find positives in their relationship! And for a while, I was seeing it! Like, when they were talking, the first half of that conversation, I'm like, "Okay, I can see how this can result to a genuine connection." [C laughs] [C: Perhaps.] And then they kept on talking [C laughing], and I'm like, "I don't want to be here anymore."
C: Yeah, yeah. And yeah, they do both look great. I said Nina has dreadlocks. She doesn't have dreadlocks. She has braids. But there are like, gold beads in them, and they catch the light very fetchingly. So Crowley rushes over to Aziraphale, all panicked, and [laughing] doesn't just say, "Hey, there are demons outside." [G laughs]
G: Literally! Literally, Aziraphale's like- Crowley's like, "Aziraphaleeee [C laughing], I have to talk to you, it's so important. Aziraphale, pleaseee talk to me. We need to talk, Aziraphale! [C: "Aziraphale, listen to me! Aziraphaleeee, talk!"] Aziraphale, we need to have a conversation! Aziraphale, are you ready? Are you available?" Like, you can say, "There are demons outside."
C: "Aziraphale, the time is ticking down! We have 30 more seconds to talk! Look, it's 30 seconds! The number 30 is 3x10! [G laughs] It could also 2x5x3. Have you considered that, Aziraphale? Anyway, we really need to ta- Oh, no, the time is out!" [G: "Aziraphaleee! We need to talk!"] And then Wee Morag is dead. [G: Literally, this is what killed Wee Morag.] You should have fucking learned from 1827. God! [G laughs]
G: How difficult is it to just go, "There's demons outside." Check. It's that quick. [C: It is that fucking quick!] But like, they have to do this. They have to do this, and then they have to have Crowley look out into the street, [C laughing] and then for forever later, they do it again. [C: Just to check, just in case they made up the whole thing.] They do it again!
C: "I wanna check, just in case." Oh my god! It's so sloppy! I just- [G laughs] I hate when you can just see like, the place that writing was sewed together, and the stitches are bad. [G: Yeah!] 'Cause it's like, "Oh, we just need to prolong things." Like, if you're gonna prolong things, make it make sense, [G: Yeah!] Neil Gaiman and John Finnemore! Aye yai yai. [G: This episode is bad!] Aziraphale's like "No, I'm hosting a business meeting. I'll be with you in two shakes of a lamb's tail." and then leaves Crowley with a tray of vol au vents.
G: Don't even say that, Aziraphale! That's a cute thing you say. [C laughs] This is not a cute thing you're doing.
C: Yeah. The last time he said it was to the Metatron in 1.04, right? [G: Yeah.] Yeah.
G: And also like, in one out of five fanfictions I've read. [C laughs]
C: Real. We cut to Maggie and Nina dancing. And again, you know, the way the light hits them, the way the shots are happening, there's a moment when I'm like, "Maybe this is something." But it's not. It's never been. They're talking, and Maggie seems more willing to accept what's going on. She thinks everyone's just talking like this 'cause they're getting into the spirit, and she doesn't seem to be questioning how they know how to do this dance, whereas Nina's like, "Hey, what is up? Why is everyone like this?" She says that "Aziraphale and Crowley, whatever they're doing, it's them that are causing this."
G: There's like, a scene where Maggie looks at Aziraphale, and then, like, we see a shot of Aziraphale, like, looking back. [C: Oh, yeah.] I mean, it's unclear whether they are looking at each other. [C: But Aziraphale's very proud.] He gives this smile that's like- I hate you. I hate you so right now, it's unimaginable how much I hate you right now!
C: Yeah, it's his "Oh my god! It's working!" smile and like, well, don't do it. Don't do any of it. Also, this whole time, Aziraphale’s standing there, completely still, not doing anything. [G laughing] Crowley could have just fucking told him now.
G: Like, just creep up behind him and go, "There's demons outside." [laughing] [C: Yeah! Crazy!] Except Crowley just stood there with the plate of food that Aziraphale gave him! [C laughing] And then he throws the plate of food away and then just goes to the window to look at the de- [C: Yeah.] What is happening in this episode? [C: It's fucking stupid.] It's so bad!
C: Yeah, I guess the only interesting thing about the food thing is that this is like, it's not a pattern, but it is sort of similar to how Aziraphale offered her Eccles cakes in the first episode and Crowley refused them, and here, Aziraphale’s giving Crowley food that she refuses again. And I think it's like, meant to be sort of like a- I don't know like. It's meant to be a miscommunication, "they're not meeting each other's needs that they express" sort of thing. So yeah. But-
G: Wow. Incredibly charitable way to read this scene. [C laughs] I read it as stupid and unnecessary! [C laughing] But go on.
C: Uh-huh. So Crowley looks outside, rushes outside, looks out the window, and there's 70 demons all there. They're all surrounding the bookshop really tight, uh-oh! I guess the other charitable reading is that Crowley does think that the bookshop is going to hold everyone back, and like, they just don't want to ruin Aziraphale's fun right now, but like, I don't think so.
G: Well, obviously, that's not a concern when they went to Aziraphale the first time! They literally said "stop this," right? "Stop this. Whatever you do, stop it." [laughing] So like, that's not a concern, I don't think. [C: Yeah.] It's just stupid! [C: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.] We have changed positions. I am now the hater [C laughs] who will never give into a charitable reading. [C laughing]
C: I think the chandelier lighting is doing a lot for this scene right now. [G laughs] So we cut to like, a stupidass Gabriel scene where everyone wants to fuck him so bad, and by everyone, I mean Mutt, Mutt's spouse, and Mrs. Sandwich, who are all three people that I think are more attractive than John Hamm are- is, but like, whatever. I guess everyone wants to fuck John Hamm. He is wearing a great suit. You know, he's being his stupid Jim self and presenting the vol au vents, and like, mostly Mutt's spouse and Mrs. Sandwich are looking him up and down appreciatively. Ms. Sandwich is fanning herself a lot. And Mutt's spouse is like, you know, "It is seldom indeed that our little village has the fortune to welcome one so amiable, so genteel, and if you'll allow me, sir, so well-made." But, Gabriel- [sighs] I don't know. This whole thing is a minute and five seconds long, and it's not worth it.
G: Again! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just hate this- I hate this sequence so much.
C: Yeah. Like, did they think he was gonna jack off in front of them? Like, why are they shocked-
G: No no no. I mean, it's like, it's fine. This scene is fine. I think if it was in any other episode or if it was like, sequenced not like this, or if [laughs] the context was completely different, I'll be like, "Haha! Funny!" But like, it goes on for so long, we know that there are demons outside. Every second that passes here is a second that Crowley is not telling Aziraphale that [C laughing] there are demons outside. That's all I can think about, like, at this moment.
C: Yeah. And it's not in a way that like, enhances the suspense. It's in a "This is annoying." [G: Yeah. Yeah!] But okay, basically, Gabriel says that he discovered something new he could do with his body in bed last night, and they're all like, "Oh my god, jack off in front of us right now," but instead, he just like, stretches his cheeks out a bunch, and like, Mrs. Sandwich looks disgusted, and Mutt's spouse is just like, "Uh." So yeah, whatever. Who give a single shit. Crowley finally goes up to his Aziraphale and talks but [laughing] doesn't say there are demons here! [G: Just "There's something wrong."] Crowley starts by taking a dig at the ball. Crowley opens with, "Making it rain is one thing, but like, a ball with like-" blah blah blah, and then like, cuts himself off. So it does feel like this is like, a [G: "This is fucked up," yeah.] "The mind control is going too far" thing. Like, that does feel like a [G: Yeah.], like, "The rain didn't really affect their free will very much. This is too much, dude. Dial it down." So we did get that.
G: Says the demon, who, like, the other day, went [C: Yeah.], "Just miracle them together." [C: Yeah. Yeah.] [C sighs] Why is this the point of this season? [C laughs] It's a big plot point! It's the whole season! [C: Yeah.] We've been doing this the whole season. [C: Yeah. And it's bad.] And it doesn't even matter. It doesn't matter. None of it matters. If like, Heaven was putting pressure on them to be like, "Well, are they in love?" Okay, fine.
C: But the thing about Muriel is like, literally, you could like, make like, a deepfake video of the two of them holding hands and then show it to them. And they'd be like, "Great."
G: You could like, strategically, like, take security camera footage where Maggie is ordering coffee and then like, laughs a little at something completely unrelated to what is happening in their conversation, and you could be like, "Look at that laugh! They're in love." And you know what? So many people on Tumblr do it for literally every single TV show in the world. [C laughing] Why didn't they do it for Nina and Maggie? Come on! It's just- It's so stupid! It's the stupidest fucking- I can't believe like, earlier this season, I was like, "Well, what if I like Season 2? [C laughs] Aren't you so upset that I like Season 2 so much?" [C laughing] And I literally don't.
C: Yeah, yeah. But yeah, instead of saying, "There are demons outside," Crowley says, "Something's wrong. There is something really wrong." Girl. [G laughs] Come on. Come on. But then, okay. [sighs] But then Aziraphale does look and sound very breathless and hopeful when he goes, "Well, perhaps you could tell me... while we dance!" Like, what if he is a killer dinosaur in love? What if? [G laughs] And then he takes Crowley's hand, and... this is the- is this the first time?
G: I mean, that taking the hand really did get to me, though.
C: Is this the first time it's happened?
G: I mean, I'm sure that's not the case.
C: [shakily] I don't know. Oh, god, I'm so got! I'm so fucking got. [laughs] Okay.
G: I'm way too irritated at everything to be gotten by this at this point in time. [C: I understand.] But just know that the first time I watched this, I did get gotten.
C: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Mm-hm. And yeah, they do go to the dance floor, holding hands. Does Crowley know by now? [G: That what?] That Aziraphale's in love with her.
G: [groans] I don't even give a shit. [C laughing] [G laughs] Remember when you were talking, and you were like, "What if you hate like the- I don't know. One line in Episode 6 so bad- like, the nightingales line or something, and you just refuse to engage with the confession scene because of it?" [both laughing] And I was like, "That's never gonna happen." Well, it literally may as well happen. [C laughing] [C: Yeah.] I mean, it's like, again, that's not the interesting question to me whether, like, they know or don't. Because I think, again, the more interesting question is to me is like, "What does it mean to know?" You know?
C: I mean, they like, can. The idea is that once they get the Nina and Maggie thing over, Heaven will stop surveilling them. Hell is still like, a major threat, but neither of them seem to give a fuck about that. So like, there is potential for something soon. [G: Yeah.] I mean, there's often potential for something soon that they never take, but like, Aziraphale is trying.
G: But also, I don't think, even, that the Heaven or Hell surveillance matters. Like, so what? Hell is looking at them. So what? It's not like, what, they're gonna hate Crowley more if they kiss? [C laughs] They already hate Crowley a lot, you know? They're gonna hate Aziraphale more if they fuck raw in the street? [C laughs]
C: They might respect Aziraphale more if they do. [G laughs] Yeah, I guess. But it's more like, "We don't have time to think about that stuff currently 'cause there's like, threats to our safety."
G: They had four years! [laughing] [C: They have.] I need to stop being such a hater.
C: I do think often [G: I mean, they did have four years.], how could they have not in those four years? I need 24/7 footage of those four years. [G laughing] I'm gonna dedicate the next four years of my life - fuck grad school - to watching it so that I can understand how they didn't end up together already! [G: Yeah.] Oh, well. Whatever. This is a night that feels like there's potential, at least from Aziraphale's perspective, and that is interesting to me. But, alas and alack! Shax shows up outside. She comes out of the small lift, so she made everyone else take the stairs, but not her. I don't know. She just says ominously, 'How sweet. They're having a party." Okay, girl, whatever. [G laughs] She seems quite jealous of the fact that they're dancing later [laughs] or something. She's bitter about it. Maybe if she was at the club.
G: I also love the way she walks in this fucking bodysuit as well. She's like, so tight on herself. [laughs] Like, is this a battle armor that she hasn't put on in a while, and she's like, a bit uncomfy? [laughs] So fucking true. I love it.
C: Yeah, maybe she wore it in the Heaven vs Hell battle.
G: For real. Can you believe Shax is the thing that I'm enthused about this episode? [C laughs] Like, I do not give a shit or care. I'm actively mad at everything else. But I like Shax.
C: My friend Claudius is watching season 2 just for Shax and Michael. Like, just for the milves of it all. [laughs]
G: So true! I think it's a very reasonable thing to watch Good Omens Season 2 for. [C: Mm-hm.]
-
G: We go back to the fucking party that's still happening.
C: You know that we got who said, "Every time either Maggie or Nina says something, it's like they've never talked to another human before"? [G laughs]
G: This is what I feel about this one. [C: Yeah.] Exactly how. Okay. It starts off fine, mostly. [C: Yes.] So like- [C: It starts off- until Maggie talks.] It starts off with both of them being like, "Oh, what are we supposed to do here? What the hell is happening?" But, like, Nina starts opening up, which at this moment, I was like, "Oh, that's sweet!" [C: Mm-hm.] Wonderful. And, you know, she's saying, "I'm not having a good day because Lindsay, my partner, just
has gone." [C: Yeah.] Vanished, even. [C: Yeah.] And like, Maggie goes, "Was it my fault?" [C: Who-] And at this point, I was like, "That's a bit [C: Yeah, what?] self-centered, that one.} But okay, fine. It is a reasonable thing to ask, I feel, given their previous- [C: Given that Lindsay thought that they were having an affair.] Yeah, yeah. So I was like, "Okay, it's fine." And then, you know, Nina goes, "No. I mean, it was the last straw." So like, it did contribute, but it was like, a long time coming also. [C: Yeah.] So Nina says, "I don't think Linday actually liked me very much." And like, in this moment, I was like, "This is wonderful! [C: Yeah.] Like, they're going to have like, an actual conversation." [C: Yeah.] And like, I think it's like, such a- saying like, "Oh, I had this relationship, and it was awful, and it just ended, and I don't think the person even liked me that much." [C: Yeah.] Like, I think that's a wonderful conversation topic for whatever they're trying to do with the both of them. [C: Mm-hm.] Like, I think it could lead wonderful places. It's good. It's good foundation. [C: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.] I was brought in. And then she goes, "Oh, I know I'm hard work." [C: Yeah.] And then Maggie goes [C screams], "I mean, [C screams] I'm not afraid of hard work," and I lost it completely. [C makes angry noises] I was like, "What are we even doing here? What is the point of anything?"
C: Nina has been so vulnerable with you. [G: Yeah!] This is like, a long relationship. They lived together. This is an important thing to her, and like, she's now, like, admitting out loud that Lindsay just never really liked her. And she feels like this is her fault. [G: Yeah.] Like, she feels like she caused the end of this relationship by being like, hard work, whatever that means to her. Like, she's blaming herself. She has been internalizing all those fucking terrible texts that like, I don't know if Maggie saw that much of, but like, probably a little bit of. And Maggie's response to Nina saying all of that stuff isn't like, reassurance about like, "No, it wasn't your fault," like, "I'm really sorry to hear that," like, blah blah blah. No, it's like, "I'd still fuck you!" [laughs] [G: Exactly.] Who hears about this breakup and goes like, "And now's my time to swoop in!"
G: And there is a way to do this with roughly the same message.
C: Even something like "I don't think you're hard work" would like, be a little better [G: Yeah.], 'cause it's more like, "We've had interactions, some friendly, and like, I feel like her- their assessment of you is wrong." Like, that's okay. [G: Yeah.] That's an okay response. And it indicates her interest if she is trying to do that, which she shouldn't be right now.
G: It's just completely mind-boggling to me.
C: It's baffling! I am bamboozled. Befuddled, even.
G: You have this kind of conversation with anyone, you go, "Ah-ha." And then you spend the rest of your life making fun of them [C laughing] to all your friends and everyone you meet. Strangers and people you know by heart alike. You know, it's like- [C: Make it your Peach bio.] [G laughs] Exactly! Yeah! You tweet about it to a million followers you have required because of how funny this interaction was.
C: You revive the Spongebob meme with the hands on hips and the weird capitalization about it.
G: Yeah! You post it on Tumblr, you get 5,000 notes in a day.
C: Yeah, but it's like, Nina accepts it because she's in such a vulnerable place right now. That sucks! [G: It sucks. Everything's horrible.] Wait, sorry, what do you know about how they end, again?
G: Like, they like each other, but like, "Let's wait for the right time" or whatever.
C: Yeah, okay, cool. I'm really glad that they did that because I would scream and cry and drive to Neil Gaiman's house, so. [laughs] Yeah.
G: You know, not everyone needs to be perfect to be romantically involved. [C: Yeah.] You do need to like each other, though. I'm pretty sure I've said this before already.
C: Yeah. Maggie needs to have one thing going for her. Just one thing. Nina has a few things. Nina's funny as fuck. [laughs] What does Maggie have?
G: Maggie has amazing outfits, first and foremost. [C: Fair.] But like, it's not about what you have. Like, that's my point. [C: Yeah, it's about what you have together.] It's not even about what you have. Yeah.
C: And Maggie doesn't really like Nina's jokes, so that doesn't count anyway.
G: They don't have anything together, yeah. Even if you have absolutely nothing to offer as a person, somebody will still like you! And they don't even like each other, so what's the fucking point? It's so annoying. I hate everything. I mean, do they even like each other? Like, when Maggie goes- I don't know. Maybe this is something for Nina. Maybe Nina's like, "OMG. We're in love." [C laughs]
C: For what? When does she think that? [G: I don't know. But like, maybe she does.] She never thinks it, 'cause it's not true.
G: I hate everything! [C laughing] I hate everything. I do think they are- at least Nina is written as a person. [C: Yes.] I do think, like, I look at Nina, and I think, "That could be a real person on my screen right now." [C: Mm-hm.] I think there's like, a huge difference between writing someone like they're a real person when they're alone versus like, in tandem with other people. And that's like, where it really falls apart with this one.
C: Yeah. Nina's a person when she's with Crowley, but this is not- not with Maggie. It's not working.
G: I think Maggie is kind of like, the problem area in this one. [C: Yes.] It's just- I don't know.
C: Yeah. I've watched Season 2 with three other people since we've started this podcast, [G laughing] and like- no, not this part yet. All of them hate Maggie, like, right away. By Episode 2, at the latest. Like, my friend Fi came in, she was like, "I know you fucking hate the lesbians, but I feel- I'm gonna choose to like them so that they have, like, a legal representative in this world," and by Episode 2, she was like, "I can't do it anymore." [laughs] And it is because of Maggie.
G: I don't know. I do feel sad because I love lesbians [C: Yeah.], and I love seeing lesbian relationships in media. [C: Wish they didn't suck.] I mean, I wish they didn't. Yeah. [C: Yeah.] I mean, it takes so little to get me into a ship, is the thing. So little. Theme song? I'm like, "I'm in." And they don't even have a theme song! [laughs] We're just going back to our talking points from like, Episode 2. [C: Yeah.] "They don't even like each other. They don't even have a theme song." And they literally don't [C: They don't, yeah.] and they literally also don't. We go to Aziraphale and Crowley, who are also doing the dancey dance?
C: Yeah. This scene is so unkind to gifset makers and AMV makers. [G: It's unkind to everyone.] Yeah. But it's like, people keep trying to like, make like, "compilations of times they've touched throughout history," like, "oh, cute romantic moments from Season 2," but like, the whole time, [both laughing] Crowley is like, hissing and growling and looks so unhappy. So like, it never works. It's always so funny to see a gif from this scene somewhere.
G: Also, the camera angles- [C: You understand what I was complaining about?] [laughs] Yeah. Is there even a camera where we see the both of them? [laughs] Like, is there even? Both of their faces.
C: There's like, one. I'll send the one to you. Yeah, it's not very good.
G: I mean, it's like- it's literally just a straight shot of like, Aziraphale doing the sidey-side bit. I don't know. It's just bad! [C: Yeah.] And it's like- [C: You've been talking up Jane Austen this whole season, too.] Yeah. And like, the thing is, this scene is supposed to be like, something. It's supposed to be something. Aziraphale makes it like it's supposed to be something. [C: Yeah.] And like, if what they're doing is like, "Oh, look at this thing that's supposed to be something, and it turned out to be nothing because, like, Aziraphale, think that this is the time and place for them to fall in love, but actually they've been in love this whole time!" Like, there are ways to twist this to be like, "Oh, but like, the dance is bad, but like, it's okay. Love is real. #WILWR." [C laughs] You know, and it's like, it's not even that, though! Here's the- here's the thing. The thing about this episode is there are ways to fix it. [C: Yeah.] Like, if you sat down with your alleged [both laugh] cowriter, John Finnemore, and workshopped this a little bit, it could've worked out! [laughs]
C: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, no, that's very much my feeling-
G: Why did I say alleged cowriter? [both laughing]
C: - very much my feeling in Season 2. I wish that he released the scriptbook so I could print out a PDF of it and then go at it with a red pen. We could fix this. Anyone could fix this, because it's so obvious what the problems are! Oh, well. Well, you know what? At least throughout all of this, David Tennant and Michael Sheen are trying their damnedest to do something with the way that their hands are positioned, and it does work! It works really hard on me. So that's good. [G: I feel nothing.] Like, they hold hands the way that they sit, is the way I would describe it. [G: What, like, Aziraphale just straight-handed-] Yeah, straight hand. [G: And then Crowley's just sprawled around? Yeah.] Yeah. Crowley's got her pinky curled around the edge of Aziraphale's hand in the first hand shot, and also like, Crowley is the one who's sort of like, leaning against the Aziraphale’s hand a little bit more, so it's like, angled back towards Aziraphale.
G: And, I mean, also, isn't it- 'cause I understand [laughs]- You can hear the change in my voice when I started speaking just then. But like, everybody else is being mind-controlled to dance this way except the two of them. [C: Yeah.] They just know how to dance this way. That's sweet.
C: Actually, why do they know how to dance this way? Have they done this before? Separately, I'm assuming? But like, what if it was together? [G: Yeah, they did it in-] What if "a golden tattoo" by witching is canon?
G: Yeah, exactly! [laughs] They did it in "a golden tattoo" by witching.
C: Yeah, the secret seventh episode of Season 1. [both laugh] [G: Yeah.] Yeah.
G: God, that fic is so wonderful.
C: Yeah, yeah. So that's the first hand shot. And then there's like, another hand shot where [giggling] it's like, it's even more clear that Crowley's just sort of trying to hold Aziraphale’s hand. Because in the first one, it was like, all of Crowley's fingers were like, lined up and straight except for the pinky, and now it's like, Crowley's fingers are bent in like a fully just trying to hold Aziraphale’s hand one, and like, it does make me crazy. He's crazy, and I am crazy, the crazy brothers. So. Yeah.
G: You know what this reminds me of? You know that conversation we were having about like, cuddling? And I was like, "When I cuddle, I don't cuddle other people. They cuddle towards me," 'cause I don't like to change to my sleeping position, so I just lie down how I sleep, which is completely straight [both laugh] with my hands like, laid over my stomach like a mummy. [C: Yeah.] And then, like, it's your job to curl around me however you so desire. Literally, that's how they would do it too, is my humble opinion. [C: Yeah.] [both make pained sounds]
C: Yeah. But they never will until 2027, and then they still won't. [sighs] [both] Yeah. They sure do have hands. And it took me a lot of like, pausing and rewinding and like, [G laughs] doing the quick click-click-pause thing in order to get screenshots of it, because it's so not highlighted in any of the cinematography.
G: The conversation they're having here is like, "There's demons outside." "Who give a shit?" "They need Gabriel." "Who give a shit?" [C laughing] I don't know. "People will get hurt."
C: And Aziraphale says the "I'm not giving them Jim" thing, which also seems important, I guess.
G: Aziraphale's like, "Oh, but like, you're overestimating how much trouble we're actually in." And then Crowley just points at the window. A demon smashes through the window with a stone that says, "Surrender the angle." [C: Yeah. They're bad at spelling.] And the running joke is that demons are not good at spelling. Shax, like, goes up front and is like, "Give me Gabriel, blah blah blah," and Aziraphale is like, "This bookshop is an independent embassy, being a former outpost of Heaven." And Shax is like, "Nobody give a shit, Aziraphale. Like, nobody give a shit about you, so we can just hop in," blah blah blah. And she says, like, "I have no intentions of harming you, only the humans here with you. So you have sixty seconds to hand over Gabriel before we begin to kill people." [laughs] The thing is, here, Shax says, "We're going to kill people," and then this is like, a reiterated threat. And then the whole point of getting the people out is because we're trying to prevent civilian casualties. [C laughs] And then that guy gets blasted out of that room. In response to someone asking about that, Crowley goes, "Yeah, I don't think he's okay." [C: Yeah.] And then [laughs], so I bring this up to Crystal. I was like, "Damn, they didn't even do anything to get that guy not killed by the demons." And Crystal's like, "The guy's alive." [C laughs] And like, next episode, he's gonna show up, and people have apparently asked Neil Gaiman about this, and Neil Gaiman's like, "The guy's literally alive. [C laughing] I have no idea why you think the guy's not alive." Maybe because you said it? Maybe because it was heavily implied he was killed? [C laughing]
C: Yeah. Yeah. "Oh, we didn't show him die." You didn't show- then I guess Pat, the magic shop owner in 1941, didn't die because "They just said that they got rid of him and they just showed a doll with brains exploding. That doesn't mean he died, you dumbasses." like, that's what Neil Gaiman sounds like, right now.
G: Why are you on Tumblr? [laughing] This is the question I was asking in like, Season 1, Episode 1 of this podcast. But like, why is he constantly online? [both laughing] Log off!
C: He's been less online since the writers' strike ended.
G: This is true, which is, you know, the best thing to happen out of that thing [both laughing], obviously.
C: Yeah, of course. Congrats to all the writers, also. [G: Yeah. Exactly.] 'Cause they don't have to read Neil Gaiman's Tumblr anymore, which is probably what they were doing while they were on strike.
G: Yeah. Gabriel is like, "Oh, it's about me, right? They're asking for me?" And like, they do this bit where it's like, Aziraphale's like, "Oh. You came to me and I said I would protect you. And I will." And it's like, what is the point of everything?
C: We just didn't see that much of that sentiment expressed in Aziraphale's interactions with Gabriel. Like, he said it out loud to Crowley before. But it's like, this is like, supposed to be like, a meaningful moment, and it's like, well, I want to have scenes before that make me believe that like, Aziraphale actually like, feels protectiveness over Gabriel, like, in a way beyond just like, "I'm a nice guy."
G: I mean, it could just very well may be "I'm a nice guy," and I'll take that. I mean, I do find it funny that it's like, "I'll protect you because you asked me to. But I don't like you, [both laugh] so I won't do a good job at it!" And he literally doesn't like this guy, is the thing. So you know? I'll accept everything. Whatever. Gabriel's like, "Yeah, I don't give a shit. I'm gonna go out." Like, there's this scene where Gabriel, like, opens the bookshop door, and he is wearing this beautiful fur coat or cape or whatever. [C: I think it's like, an ostrich feather coat or something like that.] Is it ostrich? How'd you know that?
C: I feel like I heard those words in a behind the scenes, but I watched it, like, a long time ago, so maybe I'm wrong. [G: Sure. It's ostrich. A companion to ostriches.] So it was like, "I'm gonna start murdering humans in fifty seconds," and Gabriel was like, "Wait. I gotta find a jacket first."
G: No! I think it's like, a magic thing, you know? [C: Is it? Okay.] Yeah. I mean, it's immediate, I feel.
C: Sure. Okay, like, to prove like- okay. But like, is Gabriel even capable [G: No, not to prove anything-] of doing miracles or are we saying that Aziraphale was like, "You should have a fun coat before you go out."
G: No, I think it's like, I don't think Gabriel's doing it intentionally, but I think it is something.
C: Okay. Sure. That fits with my headcanon in Season 2, Episode 1 that the reason that the miracle was so powerful was that Gabriel was like, subconsciously channeling his power into it as well, and that's why it had the strength of an archangel. So yeah, okay. He can be doing subconscious miracles.
G: I do think it's also fascinating that, you know, everybody goes into the shop and their outfits change, and Gabriel goes out and his outfit changes. [C: True.] I mean, I think that's nice, that like, I don't know. This is his arena or whatever the fuck they're trying to say here. But are they even trying to say anything? They just think it'd be cool if Gabriel opens that door? [C: I mean, I guess it's cool.] It is cool. I like it. [C: I'm sure it took a really long time to make, so-] Of course. I mean, I do think it's cool. Like, I'm not being facetious. Like, I do think it's cool. Yeah. He's like, "Hi! I'm the angel Gabriel. What's up?" And, you know, Shax is like, "No." And they just do this for a bit. and, like, Shax, is like, “Go back inside that shop and you tell that arse Aziraphale and that archtraitor Crowley that unless they send out the angel Gabriel right now they are toast."
C: "T-O-S-T… [both] -E." [both laugh]
G: I did find this funny. I do love Shax. I love Shax
C: Yeah, that was the one good spelling joke 'cause Miranda Richardson delivers it- [hiccups] Sorry, I'm hiccupping. [C: Yeah.] Miranda Richardson delivers it really well.
G: So Gabriel goes back inside and is like, "Yeah, I don't know what to do. They don't acknowledge me as the angel Gabriel." Yeah, that miracle took so hard and so raw, and now nobody recognizes him. Also, like, after this scene, Gabriel is just nowhere to be seen, and by nowhere to be seen, we see him like, walking around in the background of shots, [laughs] like, putting away stuff.
C: Is he back in his normal outfit after that?
G: I don't know. I mean, I think it's funny. I think it's funny that, like, Gabriel was like, "Eh. Can't do anything about that." [C laughs] And just like, started fixing up the shop again. So Shax starts talking to them again, and she starts threatening that, you know, "In twenty seconds, we'll start hurting the humans." And Crowley goes in front and goes, "Oh, I've seen Ace Attorney. I can do this." [C laughs] And then proceeds to say, like, "Oh, you're not allowed to harm humans directly." And Shax is like, "Oh, but like, indirectly, we can. Like, when we're battling angels. There'll be civilian casualties." And Crowley's like, "Ah, so this officially sanctioned." So like, and Shax is like, "Of course it is. What do you take me for?" and then shows the like, official permission. And Crowley's like, "Oh, if it's an official engagement, if it's an official attack, then it must follow the rules of engagement. You have to give civilians time evacuate," blah blah blah. [C: Yeah.] And it goes like, "Oh, Aziraphale can file a formal complaint, but it's going to delay the attack, and it will take weeks and weeks, so," now they are given permission to get the humans out of there.
C: Yeah, they're doing a fun voice. Aziraphale's nodding fervently in the background, like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." It's cute. I think it's nice that in this season where the first two minisodes are about Crowley caring so much about saving humans' lives, she also gets to care so much about saving humans' lives now. Crowley decides that they're gonna help evacuate the people and specifically tells- I mean, first of all, to Aziraphale, "Right. I just made a rule that they're too stupid to check." So cute. And then, "I'm gonna get the humans out of here, and then I'm coming back. I won't leave you on your own." [pained sounds]
G: This one is crazy. This one crazy. Because it's like, "I won't-" like, the fact that Crowley was like, "I'm going to reassure you that you're not going to be alone." And then, like, [C: Leaves. For Heaven.] Aziraphale's reaction is like, "Of course." [C makes pained sound] Like, that's what Aziraphale says, right? Like, "Of course. Yeah."
C: Yeah, Aziraphale says, "I know." Yeah.
G: Yeah, like, the way it's delivered is like, it isn't even a question. Like, it's not even part of the equation that like, "Oh, but like, is Crowley going to leave me alone?" [C: Yeah.] It's beyond the things that are of possibility. [C: Uh-huh.] Except I didn't really think of the going to Heaven as leaving Aziraphale alone, I think.
C: I don't think it was part of the plan [G: But the way you say it-], but I think that it does mean that Crowley is not coming ba- like, Crowley says, "I'm going to get the humans out here, and then I'm coming back," which implies that those are going to be right after one another, so this is like, a delay that is longer than promised. [G: Damn.] Like, Aziraphale is being left alone against the demons.
G: is Aziraphale going to take that to heart? [C: I don't think so.] Well, then, it doesn't matter. [laughs]
C: Yeah, yeah. And I also like it 'cause it's like, you know, Season 2, Episode 1, the ultimatum, Crowley leaves and says, "You're on your own with this one." So I think Crowley is thinking about. I think Crowley is like, "I think I do need to reassure Aziraphale here." And also like, "These are the consequences that I warned him about in Season 2, Episode 1, but I want to make it clear that I don't hold that against him." Yeah, Aziraphale goes, "I know, but I have a suggestion," but then Crowley cuts him off immediately and goes, "I've got this." That's not- I wonder what Aziraphale's suggestion was. But oh, well. Whatevs. Crowley starts telling everyone to line up in all that. But then, Mr. Brown is like, "Oh, no. Actually, I got this."
G: And it's such a long scene- again! [laughs] Why? [C: I don't know.] What is the point of this scene? [C: Just to up the stakes.] To prove that like, they are willing to hurt people?
C: Yeah, just to up the stakes. [G: Fine. Fine.] But like, neither of them- he walks up to the doorway, and Crowley's like, "Noo, don't get dragged away by demons!" without restraining him or trying anything to prevent him from going up to the door. Which, I mean, they all think that he's safe because they didn't really think about the threshold and where that ends. But still. Come on, man. And it's just a scene where he's like, "It's not appropriate for you to be disrupting this. I'm calling the emergency services." blah blah blah. Shax is like, "You suck, and also, you were dancing, and also oh, you're over the threshold of where the boundary of the whatever is." So then they grab him by the collar and then drag him through the demon crowd as he screams, and like, Crowley and Aziraphale both look upset at this, and Crowley is hopping up and down and yelling, which was a pretty funny look for them.
G: I mean, they do that also in- they do that in another scene, right? [C: Hopping up and-] That jumping up and down thing? [C: Huh.] Ah. In Season 2, Episode 1 when they get hit by that lightning. [C laughing]
C: Yeah. [G: So true. So cute] Maggie asks Aziraphale what the fuck is up, and he tries to miracle both her and Nina into just doing "whatever Mr. Crowley suggests," [laughs] is what he says. And they're like, Maggie's like, "Are you trying to hypnotize me? What the hell?" They both- is Aziraphale's miracles weaker right now. Or I guess maybe just since they're aware something is up they're more easily able to- Whatever. It doesn't matter. Anyway, Crowley wants everyone to line up two by two. She's gonna stand with Mrs. Sandwich at the front, and Nina and Maggie are going to take the end. Nina tells Maggie like, "Hey, come on." But Maggie says, [dramatically] "I'm not leaving him to face them here on his own!" And- [laughs] well, okay, so, last week, I watched Season 2, Episodes 1 and 2 with my friend Serengeti, first time for him. And when we got to Maggie talking to Nina for the first time, Serengeti turns to me, and he goes, like, "Okay, so is her entire arc this season just gonna be her trying to fuck a bunch of people and being really bad at it?" And I was like, "Wait, who else has she tried to fuck so far?" And he said, [G laughs] "Was the 'Oh, noo, I can't pick my rent thing with Aziraphale not... an attempt to fuck him?'" And I fucking lost it. [both laughing] I- [G still laughing] Imagine being such a bad writers. Like, writing dialogue that's so freakishly unrealistic of you begging your landlord to kick you out [G laughing] that the only reaction that someone whose media opinions I like, generally respect, who I think has good reading comprehension, is like, "The only way I can possibly understand this is that Maggie's trying to reenact porn dialogue to fuck Aziraphale." [G laughing]
G: Maybe the real roadhead offer was in Season 2, Episode 1 all along!
C: She's roadhead offer, and he's roadhead offer, the roadhead siblings. [G laughing] Anyway, so Maggie's staying behind because she wants to fuck Aziraphale. Confirmed. [G laughing]
G: [laughing] Yeah. [C laughs] You know, when you said that to me the first time, I think it reinstated my asthma [both laughing] because I laughed too much. Crazy!
C: Okay. So Crowley is saying everyone is just gonna have to walk behind them and do not make eye contact, etc. And he calls Nina, asking if she's coming, and Maggie, like, shoots her these pleading eyes or whatever, and she's like, "Ugh, no." And Crowley goes, "You're staying behind to die bravely? Good on you. Right, save lives." Which-
G: First of all, no lives are being saved by them being here [C: Yes.] unless we count Aziraphale [C: And Gabriel.], and I'm not counting Aziraphale because I hate him this episode. [laughs] No. I mean, all of the civilian lives are outside [C: Yes.], being saved. I don't know. I feel like Crowley wouldn't let the two of them stay here. Like, we saw Crowley talk to Nina earlier, like, "Ah, just go into the shop!" Like, you can be like, "I'm giving them [C: Yeah, romance moment.] self-determination to die" or whatever [both laugh], but like, you didn't give Nina that earlier.
C: Yeah. I don't- It's stupid. They just needed people to be in places to do things. And do they even do things? No. So- ugh. Whatever. Whatever. What if you were so so bad at writing, and then they let you write so many shows anyway, and then I still watch them? Oh, well. Crowley and Mrs. Sandwich pair up, and they ask her, "Have you got your hatpin?" And she says, "Oh, I've got more than that, love," and takes his arm. And yeah, you're right. They do seem like they're on friendly terms, and it is probably because he's often hanging about by her establishment. Like, that's nice. I like that. I like that Crowley has these kinds of like, friendly business relationships. Because I feel like she and Mrs. H aren't that dissimilar in some ways. But yeah. [G: Yeah.] It's sweet.
G: Society Mrs. Sandwich called him [C: A great big lump.] a cheeky sod. You know, that's "great lump," but like, we have, added the big so [C: Oh yeah, so you could do Aziraphale voice-] "great biiig lump." [laughs] Exactly.
C: Yeah. And Shax stops Crowley briefly to give them their mail because it piles up by the door, and Crowley's like, "I don't want it," and Shax is annoyed. And okay, I do think the running bit throughout Season 2 where it's like, "I'm gonna kill you and everyone you love. Oh, also, I live in your flat, and I need to talk to you about that." I do think that's pretty funny. It did work for me here. But yeah. Crowley's big heroic rescue is quite underwhelming, I would say. Like, really [G: It's fine.], he just walks them out like, a block, less than a block from the shop. And is like, "Okay, everyone go back to your stores!"
G: The demons are still there. The demons are still very visible. Just completely in reach.
C: Yeah, you're not gonna take them to a place of shelter far away. You're not gonna make sure they get to like, safe transportation. Like, it's just like, "No, I think you're good now."
G: It's not even like, "I'm going to get you to your place," you know, like, your shop or whatever. [C: Yeah.] What's the point of the line, then? So they don't get lost in the [C laughing] five meters they go out of the door? But it's fine. [C: Yeah. The one U-turn the Bentley makes to get to Aziraphale's bookstore?] [laughs] Exactly.
C: Yeah, I mean, I guess the point is that like, they weren't allowed to kill civilians anyway. They're only allowed to do it like, while battling angels. So as long as they're like, a certain distance from the shop, they're good. But, like, honestly, Crowley could have just told them to walk out by themselves, and they would have been fine. Like, it's all just an excuse to get Crowley out so that they can see Muriel and etc etc. But yeah. Anyway, we get a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful moment! where Mrs. Sandwich tells Crowley, "You're a good lad." [G makes pained sounds] And Crowley says, "I'm not, actually. Either. But thank you." And, oh my god, I love trans people so much!! Oh! [G: It's so cute.] Oh! It's just- it's really nice. [G: It is quite nice.] I do care very, very deeply about this. Even- Like, the first time I watched this, I was filled with such hatred for the show that I missed it, and Danica was like, "Do you have nothing to say about that?" And I was like, "What?" And she was like, "Crowley just said, like, a gender thing. Go back." And then it did happen, and I immediately forgave Neil Gaiman for everything he's ever ever ever done. [G laughs] 'Cause, yeah. Yeah. [laughs] I care deeply about this. There's nothing to say. It's nice. And it's nice that we've had like, allusions to it, I guess. And things where it's like- [G: Yeah, the "person."] Yeah, like, the "person" thing. That was nice. And then I feel like it wasn't the intention for Crowley to like, not react every time like, Aziraphale, like, calls for a man in 1941, but like, it does feel like it could all be part of it. And it's nice. It's nice [G: It's nice!] that it's something that started in Season 1, and like, now we have like, strong, full confirmation of it on screen. Thanks, Crowley. I love you, nonbinary-ass demon. The smile is also nice. I think people talk about how Crowley doesn't mind being called nice by humans- or being called good by humans, but like, does react when like, Aziraphale or Gabriel does, and they've said that like, maybe it's just because Crowley understands that his definition of good and human's definition of good aligns a lot more than an angel's definition of good. And that's nice, too. That's nice! We go back to the bookstore for a second, and [laughs]- God, they're crazy. Okay. Like, okay. First, off we got this inane Nina and Maggie dialogue where it's cutting back and forth, right? And like, Aziraphale’s like, "Why didn't you go?" And Nina's being a normal person where she's like, "I wanna know what's happening," and Maggie, because she wants to fuck Aziraphale [G laughs], is going, [breathlessly], "You're in danger!" And then Nina goes, "None of this makes sense." And Maggie goes, "You're in trouble!" [laughing] What is this? What if she literally wants to fuck him? Yeah, she goes, "We're not leaving you on your own!"
G: [laughing] What a crazy thing to think! Did that friend, like, [C laughing] watch Season 1?
C: Yes. Yes. We became friends over being into Queen because of Good Omens. Like, we- yeah. [G laughing] [G: That's crazy!] Yes. That friend watched Season 1.
G: Yeah. [screams] [laughs] I cannot do this. [laughs] Yeah.
C: And Aziraphale goes, "We aren't in danger. Crowley will be back in a moment. He'll have a plan." And Nina goes like, “Why don't you stand up for yourself? Make your own plans.” Which, good for her. I feel like I like the bits where it seems like she's sort of going through her breakup arc. And [laughing] Aziraphale goes - What is wrong with them? Aziraphale goes, “I am. But rescuing me makes him so happy.” They're craaazy. They're crazy.
G: I love how Aziraphale is like, “You're human. The other person, also human. [C: You could die.] You could be both in grave danger. But I'm not going to formulate a plan. Because I'm doing foreplay!" [laughing] Which is the most important thing that is happening right now this episode.
C: Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. It is crazy. Yeah, there's a post about - you know how in Neil's thing about the various minisodes that could have happened, one of them was them being the Wild West? And someone was like, “There should be a Wild West minisode where Aziraphale is tied to train tracks, damsel style, but Crowley is taking too long to come to the rescue, so Aziraphale has to keep miracling the train slower and slower to keep giving him chances”? [G: So true.] Yeah, we should have seen that. It's so important. God, they’re so funny. Like, we've known this whole time that Aziraphale does this shit on purpose, but now, we fully know that he does this shit on purpose. Like, 1793? [G: Yeah.] “Oh, woe is me, I'm chained up in the Bastille. What else would you use handcuffs for other than sex?” Like, [laughing] alright, girl. Good for you, man. [laughs] Speaking of handcuffs and sex, [G laughs] so we go outside, and Crowley sees Muriel in their law enforcement outfit and goes up to them and goes, “Officer, I need to report a crime. You're a law enforcement officer, and as a law enforcement officer, you are able to arrest someone if a crime has been committed,” and Muriel, because they're very cute, does this thing where it's like, “Oh, god! I don't know how to break this to you, but I'm not actually Inspector Constable, a human law enforcement officer.” Crowley goes, “No, you're an angel. I know. That's why I'm surrendering to you. I'm a demon with knowledge of a crime against Heaven.” Okay, do you think this was the spur of the moment or has Crowley been formulating a plan on getting to Heaven for a while?
G: Why would that be the case?
C: I think that it's the only thing that - because of the bad writing, both Aziraphale and Crowley know shit is coming, and neither of them are doing any work to try to figure anything out. I'm more willing to accept that if I think that Crowley's plan has been waiting for Muriel to come back so they can hitch a ride to Heaven and figure out what happened with Gabriel.
G: But, I mean, I don't know. It depends on - [C: Yeah, what happens next episode.] what he does in Heaven. That's really odd, that you think that! [C: It’s not that I think it, it's that it would help me -] No, I know, because it’s what’s going to happen next episode. I just wouldn't assume that that's where it would go.
C: Oh, sorry. Why did you think Crowley was going to Heaven? Sorry for that.
G: I have no idea! I have no idea.
C: Okay, fair, fair. Whoops. Sanctity of Episode 6 ruined again. [G laughs]
G: If Crowley said the things that he says to Muriel [C laughing] to Aziraphale [C: Yeah.], they would’ve fucked raw in the street. In front of all those demons. [C laughs]
C: Yeah, yeah. They would have. They really, really would have. And in front of everyone on Whickber Street, which, [G: They're still there!] do you think the reason Nina had the “bit on the side” thing is because she's like, “Oh, I mean, Aziraphale clearly has other lovers. He's a sex freak. We've seen two other people go in to fuck him.” [G laughs] [G: Yeah, maybe.] Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, anyway. So Crowley says that - okay. Crowley's first thing is holding her wrists up and going, “Put on the cuffs, I'll go quietly.” Which, hi! Hi! Hi, Miss Crowley! And then, after Crowley says again that, like, “We don't have much time, you have to arrest me right now, and how you do it is you say ‘I arrest you, in the name of Heaven, blah blah blah,’" and Muriel does do that, and Crowley’s like, “Great, you have done it.” And then Crowley goes - [G: “You said blah blah blah.”] Yeah, “You said blah blah blah.” [laughs] “It's alright officer. I'll come quietly,” and it is that much emphasis on the word "come." [laughs] Like, that is how she says it. Which- [G: Raw. Raw in the street.] Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. That is why Aziraphale had to stay inside the bookstore. [G laughs] They would have to put this entire episode on pause for three hours.
G: [laughs] Exactly. Guinness World Record.
C: Yeah, yeah, exactly that. And then she tells Muriel, “Okay, let's go to Heaven.” And the two of them- well, Crowley gets into the lift, and Muriel’s like, “You're not tricking me, right?” And he's like, “You're arresting me, how can I be tricking you?” So they both get in, elevator starts going up, and it ends on a shot of Shax's face, I guess. And that's eppysode.
G: I mean, it is a bit funny to me that there are demons around the elevator, but Shax only notices this happening later right at the last minute. [C: True.] I don't know. It's just- you know how you complained about that episode with Wee Morag. Like, "It's so oddly edited that it doesn't flow"? [C: Yeah.] And it's like, you can literally have had Shax turning and looking, I don't know, ten seconds earlier, and I'll be like, “Oh, it makes sense.” But because you put it there, it's like, "Is everybody just so stupid?"
C: [laughs] I mean, is everybody so stupid?
G: Okay, well. What do we think about this episode? I think it’s bad.
C: It's not good, it's objectively bad.
G: The thing is, we would get bad episodes, right? I would say last episode is a bad episode. But there is stuff to talk about. There's stuff to dig your teeth into. There's stuff that makes you think. And there is also that stuff here, but not as much, and I'm very disappointed because it's the second to the last episode, and next episode is the big one. Great biiig episode. And it's like - [sighs] Ugh. You know?
C: Yeah, I feel like this is similar to Season 1, Episode 5 where it was just "How did they all get to the airbase?" It's mostly action, [G: Yeah.] but honestly, it's not even that much action. It's mostly just bad. [G: Nothing happens!] Yeah, I mean, more happens than things typically happen, but still nothing happens. And we didn’t even see Beelzebub.
G: This is true! I don't know. It's just - you're right. This season is terrible. [C laughs] [C: Thanks.] And I've been saying, "It's terrible but I like it," but now that we've talked through Episode 5, I don't think I like it that much! [C laughs]
C: Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should have voted in that poll. [G: That's true.] No one clicked “hate it”! No one clicked that they hate Season 2. Yeah, I feel like I didn't hate it as much as you, just because I knew already it was gonna be so bad. But yeah, it is quite unsatisfying. Best Line/Worst Line? Worst Line is, “I'm not afraid of hard work.” Obviously.
G: "Obviously." I don't know. I think - I don't like the seamstress bit. [C: Ohh, yeah.] That's my worst line. For my best line, I mean, the stuff that really got to me was the - [C: The conversation with Nina.] The conversation with Nina. “Too pure of heart to be a bit on the side.”
C: Yeah, I think that is also - [G: What’s yours?] my best line, 'cause it does make me crazy. Does make me crazy.
G: Yeah. So what do we have? Gayest and transest moment? [C: Yeah. ] Gay moment. I would say, first, of course, my transest moment is - [C: Yes. Yeah!] Crowley, being not a good lad. [C: Yeah. Not either.] I mean, that's yours also, right?
C: Yeah, I mean, it’s the trans moment of the year, the show, the everything.
G: I do love our guest nonbinary person. [C: Oh, yeah. I do enjoy Andrew O'Neill being here.] I think it's wonderful, too.
C: Yeah. Yeah, they have this really great tattoo on their collarbone that you can see over the dress. Great look!
G: Gayest moment? I would say the “you're being silly” line [C makes pained sound] was pretty gay. [C: Yeah. Yeah.] What if they’re in love? [laughs] #WILWR!
C: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the fact that Crowley whistles him over is also so crazymaking.
G: The collar? [both] Pretty gay.
C: If we're going dictionary definitions, I think that Nina just assuming that any other partner Crowley would have would be a husband or a boyfriend? Pretty gay. I also think that my best line is pretty gay. And I also think that Aziraphale’s fucking foreplay line? Pretty gay.
G: So predictions next episode. [C: Oh, I don't want to think about it! Yeah.] I mean, the thing is, I don't know how the plot will resolve itself, and frankly, I do not care that much. I mean, is there even plot to resolve? I mean, there is, but is there? You know what I mean? Well, whatever. For the confession scene, I've said what I'm the most afraid of, and it's that either Crowley won't even get to say the dreaded “I love you” or will say the dreaded “I love you.” And both of them are so misery-inducing. I’m genuinely afraid. I'm scared.
C: Yeah, I'm gonna be a different person next week. [G laughs]
G: [laughs] Yeah, should we warn - I don’t know.
C: Oh, oh, we might split it in half, do you mean?
G: Okay, let’s - we’re warning, I suppose? Not warning. That sounds ominous. We’re telling the audience now.
C: Most likely, we're gonna split Episode 6 into two episodes, the second of which is the final fifteen minutes.
G: Yes. The last - yeah. And just like it was in 3.1 and 3.2, it won't be a [C: A whole week in between.] week after. It'll probably even be shorter than the four days that we gave that last one, because the second part is the one everyone's waiting for, probably. [C: Yeah.] So it'll be a bit rude to make everybody wait that long. But yeah.
C: Yeah, I also think it'll be hard to talk about the first half without referencing the second half. So yeah.
G: Of course. But what if we just released a seven hour episode? [C laughs] We could do it.
C: We could. I mean, we might surprise ourselves and talk less than we think we will. We’ll see.
G: Yeah, that's true. I mean, we talk less this episode than I thought we would. Another prediction of mine is - I really don’t know how I would react to it as a person, because I do like it when things are sad. But the thing is, if after Season 1 happened, and then at the end of Season 1, they have a blowout fight and they break up, I will be affected in ways I cannot possibly explain, because back then, I guess I bought in more to the concept of Good Omens as a TV show or Good Omens as a story, vs now, where I feel like some of the magic has been removed [C: Yes. Yes.] because the season is quite bad. I am able to see the show more of as a - it's a show. [C: That two people wrote, badly.] Yeah. I think it does reflect in how we talk about the episodes. I feel like we talk less about sloppy writing when it came to Aziraphale and Crowley as characters in Season 1 versus now in Season 2 where even that is included in our discussions of writing choices. I don't know. Maybe I would be less affected because I would see it less as the characters on screen playing out the way they would but more of like, somebody writing something somewhere. [C: Yeah.] I mean, hopefully it doesn't ruin me, right? [C: Yeah.] I mean, I saw you afterwards. [C laughs] But I feel like a lot of your upset was more on the fact that [C: It was bad.] the season was bad than the actual what happened. Because you seem to like what happened. You enjoyed the fact that they broke up, and you think it's fun that it's sad. So I don't know. [C: Yeah.] I mean, that being said, I think I will be happy to leave Good Omens behind for a while until Season 3 comes back. It's been an experience. I mean, I don't want to get sappy right here right now! It's not even the last episode of the show. But isn't it - it was nice, doing this podcast was nice. [C: It was.] I’m really happy I got to spend time with these characters and with everybody who listened to us and all that crap.
C: Mm-hm. Yeah. Same.
G: God, this is just three months of our lives. We spent three months on this, watching this show and talking about it on a podcast. We're going to spend years - [C: On Supernatural? Yeah.] Exactly. How will I even feel when that shit ends?
C: We’re going to do a Q&A for this one at the end of this. [G: Oh yeah!] And if you send us questions on Tumblr that are just regular questions, we'll just answer them there. So I guess specify that the questions are for the Q&A if you want to hear us answer them both out loud. The deadline for that is going to be midnight EST or whatever one the US one is, [G laughs] on December 1st. [both] Yeah. So I don't know. Shoot us questions. [G: Happy Daylight Savings!] Yeah, happy fucking Daylight Savings. Good luck to all you seasonal depressives out there. Ratings out of 10?
G: I'll give this one a 2.
C: Damn! I think I was just gonna go for like, a 4 again?
G: I think it’s viciously bad.
C: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess that’s it for this week’s episode of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast. [G laughs] Next time, we will be talking about Season 2, Episode 6: “Every Day.” [G: It's a-getting closer!] Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.
G: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com, and email us at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com, which is our social media for our Supernatural commentary podcast, Busty Asian Beauties.
C: Thanks to everyone who’s donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod! See you guys next time! [both] Bye!
[Garageband "Everyday" plays]
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C: They’re better than - am I allowed to say that? They are, though. They're better than - on November 5th, nonetheless, [G laughs] we're recording on November 5th, you guys. Aziraphale and Crowley are better than Destiel. I'm saying it with my whole chest.
G: I think it's a different thing. I think it's a different thing. It's a different relationship. We've had this argument before [laughing] when you were like - [C: Anyway!] “Dean and Castiel are not even best friends!” And I was fighting for my life in our fucking DMs. [C laughs]
C: Yeah. I was like, “Hilson is better than them, and you don’t even ship Hilson.” [G laughs] But yeah.
G: But it's a different thing. I'm willing to lay it all down! In an episode of BABPod, but not this one. [C laughs]
C: It’s a different thing, mm-hm.
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C: How many episodes of that- have you just seen the first one?
G: The first and second one.
C: Oh, how did you - you didn't tell me about “Into the Dalek.” [laughs] How’d you like it?
G: I don't know. I only - I lied. I completely lied. I only watched half of that one. It’s cute! [C: It's starting.] Clara's boyfriend is getting introduced, and he was ex-military. [laughing]
C: Yeah. [laughing] Yeah, it's unfortunate. [G: Unfortunate!] I mean, it’s for the themes of the season or whatever the fuck. He's gonna say something so funny soon. But anyway.
G: Clara’s so beautiful. She's 5’2. My 5’2 queen.
C: Yeah, yeah, Clara is so beautiful. And Jenna Coleman- I think her latest role that I've heard of is that she plays a lesbian on Sandman, [G starts clapping] which is, you know, a Neil Gaiman show, which I have considered watching for her. But I don't think I will.
G: That's me clapping. That's my round of applause for her playing a lesbian. Go, girl!
C: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know the show, so if she's bi or something, and I just did a giant erasure, [G starts clapping] I'm sorry, all bisexuals including myself. She has a woman as a love interest, though.
G: [laughing] This is another round of applause for bisexual women. Let's go bisexual women!
C: [laughing] Yeah. Big fan.
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G: I can't believe, like, two episodes ago I was like, “We must never badmouth Neil Gaiman.” [both laughing] I was defending that man's ass on this podcast.
C: [laughing] Wait, during what scene?
G: The outtakes. The one at the end. I was like, [C laughs] “We must never say bad things about Neil Gaiman. We must protect his dignity as a writer.” [C laughing] Well, we literally shouldn’t. [C: We shouldn't.] It's a bad episode. [C: Yeah.]
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C: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
G: Sorry.
C: Oh, I didn't hear anything, worry not. Yeah.
G: Wait, what do you mean you didn’t hear anything? I just said a lot of things!
C: Wait, no, sorry, you just said "sorry," so I assumed that you burped or something? [laughs] [G laughing] Did you not? [G: No.] Was that an unrelated sorry?
G: It's an unrelated sorry, but I just love that you assumed that I burped [C laughing], 'cause I burp all the fucking time when recording.
C: Well, you do!
G: I do, yes. It's my main hobby.
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G: Don’t smoke. I have asthma. Don't do that. [C: Oh, is that new?] The asthma? [C: Yeah.] Oh, no, it's very old.
C: Oh, okay, so smoking just exacerbates it. Sorry!
G: You know what? Here's my tip. If you're like, “I'm going to smoke,” and you smoke like, Marlboros, [C: Like Dean.] because I used to smoke - what's called here- I'm not sure what it's called in other countries. I don't think other countries- there are a lot of countries who have mint cigarettes banned, but I used to smoke the Marlboro Blacks, which is the mint ones, but they're not the mintiest ones. So they're kind of a split between the Marlboro Lights and the Ice Mints. Whatever, I used to smoke those. Then one day, I went to a party. Friend of mine had these wonderful Indonesian cigarettes. They taste so good. But there's only one street here in the Philippines that has shops that sell Indonesian cigarettes, and they're also hard to acquire online. So I have no access to these Indonesian cigarettes, basically, is what I'm saying. Like, I have to go to a specific street in Manila to get them. But I'm lazy. So smoking those nice cigarettes has effectively killed my cigarette smoking. [C: Nice.] ‘Cause I don't wanna smoke the terrible Marlboros anymore! I wanna smoke the [laughs] real nice ones. So yeah, my solution and tip to quitting smoking is, smoke nice cigarettes, [both laugh] and then make sure you have no access to them whatsoever. [C: Real.] Yeah. Thank me later!
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C: Like, what if he is a killer dinosaur in love? What if? [G laughs]
G: What even- that's a Supernatural reference, right?
C: What? Yeah, and it's a “Scoobynatural” episode reference.
G: I love that- Cas! It's November 5th. Everybody say, “I love you, Castiel" over and over again.
C: I love you, Castiel.
G: I love you, Castiel!
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G: I don't know. I feel like sometimes people will tell me like, "Oh, there's like, an abundance of lesbians in media, and it's actually like, gay men relationship that we don't have enough of it." And I'm like [C: What?], "I need to be living your life." Is that true? Do you think that's true.
C: No, that's definitely not true. Is that-
G: I've heard that argument. [C: What?] I've heard that argument, and what they say more is like, "Oh, like, especially with like, children's media, 'cause, like, lesbians are more acceptable than gay men for children."
C: Are they just talking about like, Steven Universe and like, The Owl House?
G: I do not know or care. [C: And She-ra.] I do think- I mean, first of all, I'm not a child. [both laugh] Don't make me watch children's media to have lesbian representation! Number 2, I don't know. Like, I have a kid in the house, and I think she learned earlier about gay men than she did lesbians because of that one movie. What's that? [C: Nimona?] Nimona, yeah. [C: I love Nimona!] She told me- Oh my god, you know what's so cute is- I didn't even know anything about this movie. I didn't know anything about the characters.
C: Oh, I read the comic book before this, yeah.
G: Yeah, but like, when we were watching this the first time, I fully thought it was a TV show. [laughs] Like, I didn't even look at the Netflix listing and see that it was a movie, you know? So we were sitting down, and we were watching it, and my sister, like, told me specifically, like, she went up to me and said, "You should watch this movie with me." [C: Huh.] Well, "You should watch this show with me." And I was like, "Okay." And so we're sitting down, we're watching it. And then there's this scene where- Sorry, I don't remember any of the characters' names. But that scene where like, a guy and another guy [both laugh] were like, fighting, and like, one of them is like, running away and is like, "I'm going to do my own thing." And then, like, I don't know. The fight was like, "Please don't go." "Why?" "Because I love you." I don't know. I have no recollection of the details of this thing. [C: Okay, yeah yeah yeah.] And then I watched that- I watched that, and I was like, "Oh, that's sweet. They're like, really good friends." [both laugh] I generally thought that. No, because, like, it's children's media [C: Right.], and like, I just learned to assume that like, stuff like this, it's not gonna be gay. So I'm just going to be like, "That's nice. They say 'I love you' to each other, whatever." And then my sister, like, seven, turns to me and goes, "I think boys are allowed to kiss boys in this universe, [C laughs] because at the end of this movie, they kiss." And I was like, "Oh."
C: Wait, she watched it before you and then was like, "I'm gonna get my gay vibes brother to come watch this with me."
G: "You should watch this with me." [both laughing] That's why I specified that! It's so funny! And me, too. Like, there were many people in that house that day, but she was like, "I'm calling you, specifically, to watch this movie." [both laughing] But- And I go, "Oh!" And I say, like, "You know, like, that also happens in this universe. Like, boys also kiss boys in this universe, and girls also kiss girls." She goes, "Oh, like, do they get married?" And I was like, "Yeah. Here in the Philippines, like, it's not yet allowed, but, like, in other countries, they get to marry each other, too." And she goes, "Why do they not allow it in the Philippines? Is it because it's a bit weird?" [both laughing]
C: [laughing] Oh my god. Homophobia win! Let's goo! Literally, is it a bit weird? [G laughing]
G: And I go, "I don't think it's weird. I think maybe, one day, they'll allow it here, too." Which, I think I handled that conversation well.
C: Yeah, no, you said the best possible response to all those things. Yeah. Congrats.
G: Yeah. I think- "Isn't it a bit weird?" [both laughing] Yeah. I mean, I think it's nice. I mean, she also asks me- 'cause like, I walk her to school, and the person who's like, guiding the flow of the pedestrians always calls me "kuya," which means like, "brother." So, like, my little sister also always- not always. Like, the first few times, she goes, "They're calling you kuya." And I'm like, "Yeah." And like, at some point, she was like, "Yeah. Everybody calls this sibling 'kuya' when we're outside." [C: Yeah.] So yeah. I don't know. I hope I'm doing a good job of being a good representation [both laugh] to my baby sister. Well, well, whatever. This is completely removed from everything that's going on in this episode. What are we talking about? [laughs] Gay representation?
C: We were talking about how these lesbians suck.
G: [laughing] Oh, yeah!