When Coercive Control Doesn’t End After Separation with Jess Hill

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by award-winning journalist and author Jess Hill for an important conversation about coercive control, domestic abuse, victim-survivors, children, and post-separation abuse.

We explore what coercive control looks like, why it can be difficult to recognize, and how perpetrators maintain power through psychological, emotional, financial, and other forms of abuse. We also discuss how abuse can continue after separation through stalking, harassment, legal systems, and family court.

Jess and I examine the impact on children, the importance of recognizing coercive control when assessing risk, and her work toward criminalizing coercive control in Australia—while emphasizing that legal reform is only one part of creating meaningful change for victim-survivors.

What we cover

• What coercive control actually is—and why it is often misunderstood

• How coercive control can be difficult to recognize while you are experiencing it

• The psychological and emotional impact of living under coercive control

• Why leaving an abusive relationship does not necessarily mean the abuse ends

• Post-separation abuse, stalking, harassment, and continued control

• How children experience and are affected by coercive control

• The ways children can become part of an abusive dynamic

• Family court and the challenges faced by victim-survivors navigating legal systems

• Why understanding patterns of behavior matters when assessing risk

• The importance of listening to victim-survivors and taking coercive control seriously

• Jess’s work toward criminalizing coercive control in Australia

• Law reform, prevention, and creating meaningful systemic change

Why listen

Coercive control is often misunderstood because it does not always look like what people expect abuse to look like. There may be no single incident that explains what is happening. Instead, control can develop through patterns of behavior that gradually restrict a person’s autonomy, freedom, relationships, and sense of self.

This conversation is also about what happens after a victim-survivor leaves. Separation can become another stage of control, particularly when perpetrators use legal systems, children, stalking, or other mechanisms to maintain power.

For survivors, protective parents, clinicians, attorneys, advocates, researchers, and anyone trying to better understand coercive control, this episode offers an important conversation about recognizing patterns, understanding risk, and creating systems that better protect victims and children.

Guest bio

Jess Hill is an award-winning Australian journalist and author focused on domestic abuse, coercive control, and gender-based violence. She is the author of See What You Made Me Do, a groundbreaking examination of domestic abuse and coercive control. Through her journalism, research, and advocacy, Jess has helped shape conversations around domestic violence, prevention, and law reform in Australia. 

Connect with Jess Hill:

Instagram: @jessicahelenhill

Website: www.jesshill.com.au

Book: See What You Made Me Do available on Amazon

Podcast: www.vwt.org.au/thetrap

Connect with Dr. Christine:

Protective Parenting Program: Protective Parenting Program

Official site: www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com

YouTube: www.

TikTok: @dr.c_coercivecontrol

Instagram: www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol

TEDxTalk: https://youtu.be/gp2qByKOue4?si=jJpjpRewxHD9JdYg

Books:

FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld

Every Moment of Every Day

Available on Amazon.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review. Your support helps other survivors and protective parents find information, validation, and community.

— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Jess Hill