WEBVTT
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From a social media standpoint, especially on an Instagram, what are certain things that you like to see on a woman that you're attracted to, like on her page?
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And then what are a couple of things that you don't like to see?
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I could speak for all men.
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I feel like we check them highlights, man.
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Yeah, we're checking them highlights.
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Right.
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I don't want to see half-naked stuff.
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I don't want to see like past situationships or past relationships, anything like that.
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Hold yourself to a higher standard, you know, like keep it as if like your mother was on your page, like if she was watching you.
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Yeah.
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Let's fix modern dating.
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I'm your host, Will Scott.
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This podcast is brought to you by Elite Level Status Wine.
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You can catch us on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.
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Today I have a special guest.
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His name is Damien.
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Thanks for coming in.
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Appreciate you for having me, man.
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It's a pleasure.
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For sure.
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All right, so let's jump right into it.
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Tell me your overall thoughts about modern dating.
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My overall thought on modern dating in today's society, I feel like social media kind of ruined it.
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I mean, okay, and explain that.
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I feel like because everybody has this um this illusion of options, you know, it's a click away.
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Anybody could just slide in your girl DM, vice versa, especially, you know, it's just a whole it's it's it's crazy.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Now, how have you had any personal experiences with with that?
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And what's the what's the fix?
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How do you, if you're out there and you're talking to a a woman, how do you make sure that she's comfortable with you from a social media standpoint?
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But also, how do you try to make sure that she understands what you are comfortable with and also what you're not comfortable with as far as her social media goes?
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I feel like that's all just a conversation, you know, like not to be controlling or, you know, uh, what's that, hypocritical?
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Yeah.
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You just gotta have a conversation.
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I feel like once you relay your boundaries, it's up to your partner to, you know, deal with it on their own.
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But I feel like just simply just you gotta know what you're dealing with, you know.
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Like from my experience, you know, with what I got going on, uh, my girl would just have to deal with that, you know, I work with higher level, you know, celebrities and I'm gonna be around certain things.
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She just has to understand that.
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But that's just a conversation.
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I totally agree, man.
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Well, how early in a relationship are you trying to have that conversation?
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Like, ideally, would you want to have a couple good dates but before you have that conversation or are you gonna wait longer?
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Um, I would say, I mean, I really don't think, like, from my experience, I don't really think it's a time limit on land boundaries.
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It just is has to be respectful, you know, not to be controlling.
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But I feel like a couple dates down the line, I try to get myself like a three-month rule, but we already know that don't really last sometimes.
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It's it's the person, you know.
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If you're feeling them, you're feeling them.
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But so from a social media standpoint, especially on an Instagram, yeah.
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What are certain things that you like to see on a woman that you're attracted to, like on her page?
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And then what are a couple things that you don't like to see?
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I could speak for all men.
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I feel like we check them highlights, man.
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Yeah, we're checking them highlights.
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Right.
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I don't want to see half naked stuff, but I mean, I'm in a gym, so I post my gym content.
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So if it's gym content and stuff like that, I could deal with that.
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Right.
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But I don't want to see, you know, like past situationships or past relationships, anything like that.
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Just hold yourself to a higher standard, you know, like keep it as if like your mother was on your page, like if she was watching you.
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Yeah.
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And I I love that too.
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And it's not like trying to be judgmental or anything.
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You're just trying to do your research and and vet your potential woman to kind of like say both of you guys, right?
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If if you can see something that that you know isn't gonna work for you, yeah, then let's let's not even like waste her time, right?
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Let's not waste your your time too, right?
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So I I think that you know, a lot of women, they they may see things like, hey, I I post for myself, I don't post for for men.
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And that's that's fine, right?
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But if your goal is to find a man, and if your goal is to, you know, try and be in a long-term relationship, there are certain things that you can do to help yourself, right?
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Definitely.
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So that kind of goes into my next question.
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Like, if you were to give advice to women for how they can get the men that they're attracted to to take them seriously, what are some things that you would tell them?
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I would say it all starts with like it's the little things, you know.
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Like it we like as men, we don't really like you can satisfy us in the smallest ways.
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Like it's the bare minimum.
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I feel like the crowd you keep, um, the way you hold yourself, um your work ethic, and then just who you are as a person.
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Like, if you can listen, then I feel like you'll attract anything.
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But most in today's society, I feel like most women just um deal with the people that they can get instead of the people that they're attracted to.
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Okay.
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Because it's easier.
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Okay.
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Can you can you dive a little deeper in in into that?
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Um, it's like I seen a TikTok video on it.
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It was like, um it was like most women are comfortable dealing with, like, if you ever see uh a baddie out and she got somebody that you just look like, man, why is she with him?
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Right.
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It's like females go for the guy that they can get over the guy that they need because nine times out of ten, the guy that they need not gonna put up with half of the BS, you know.
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I definitely think that that's an interesting point, but again, that's why I wanted to have the show.
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I feel like sometimes maybe women may not know any better.
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Like they may think that men want certain things, yeah, and that's not really the case, right?
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So we're we're here to try to fix those those disconnects so that we can bring people back back together, right?
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Definitely.
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I I would say, and tell me if you agree, but I mean, like, most men, like, we we really don't need that much, right?
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Like, like you said, um, men want to be the the leader.
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Men, men want to lead that their woman.
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They want to make sure that their woman feels feels safe.
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And so if you allow the man to lead, if you listen, um, and obviously everyone has their type, you know, you want like a certain level of attraction as as well.
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Yeah.
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But outside of that, what else comes to mind as far as like traits and things that you would want from your ideal woman?
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I just want, you know, if my ideal woman, sometimes as men, we just want to be heard, you know?
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Yeah.
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We want to be understood.
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Like after a long day working and going out to sacrifice, we just want to know that you got our back and we're doing the right things.
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We just want to be seen sometimes.
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And I feel like from my experience, you know, I've had relationships where I felt like I wasn't seen.
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Yeah.
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But I feel like just that and mainly just anything, just calm, you know, like the space I'm in, from my experience, I'm just trying to be peaceful.
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Like, I just I don't really want a lot of extra headaches right now.
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Yeah.
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I think that most men would agree with that.
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Like the world can be stressful as men.
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Sometimes when you when you come home or you go to your girl, you want that to be your your your sanctuary.
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You want your girl to add to your peace.
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You don't want more, you know, unnecessary drama with your girl, right?
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Definitely.
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But I want to go back to something you just said though.
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So you you want to be seen.
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And I I love that.
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To me, my woman can make me feel seen when she's when she verbalizes how happy or how grateful she is for the things that I do, right?
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Yeah.
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I feel like nothing is better than a grateful woman.
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Definitely.
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And so what are some examples to you for how a woman can make you feel seen?
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Um, you know, like if I come back from the gym and just a simple, hey babe, you look good.
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Or you know, like, or if we out to eat and the tab come back, just you know, you don't gotta help.
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I'm never gonna take the money.
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But just the thought that you might go in your purse.
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Yeah, we might just got lip gloss in your idea in your purse, but just the idea that you went in your purse.
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You're being considerate.
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You're being considerate, you know, stuff like that.
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And then just words of affirmation, you know, because like you said, as men it's hard, you know, it's hard.
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We got a lot of stuff that we deal with that we obviously don't tell our ladies.
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Yeah.
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And we all keep it to ourselves, but just being verbal, yeah.
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That's the main thing.
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And I think that's huge.
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I think that, you know, women require that verbal affirmation, right?
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Of course.
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And so as men, you gotta act tough.
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You know, it's a lot of times not within your best interest to share your feelings.
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You don't ever want to come across as like soft or like vulnerable, right?
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Because your girl may lose respect, right?
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And so most men will never show show their emotions.
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So I understand that sometimes like, oh, I want a guy that's emotionally uh available.
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A lot of times I I would argue men, that's not within your best interest, like especially up front.
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You need to be a pillar of strength and consistency at all times.
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But the same way that women require that verbal affirmation, I think as men, we would love that from a woman.
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Yeah, definitely.
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To verbalize your appreciation, to tell us whatever it is, whether it's how he's dressed, he's been working out, he works hard, what he he cleaned the kitchen well.
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Whatever it is, right?
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I I do think that that could help a lot of relationships when women and look, like men definitely aren't perfect at this either, right?
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So like people tend to verbalize things that they don't like, definitely, but things that you do well, they they can keep that in.
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And so I I think that both men and women can do a better job of verbalizing to your partner things that you do like, things that they're doing well, right?
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Would you agree with that?
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Yeah, I can agree for sure.
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Yeah, for sure.
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Women always say, at least on this show, when I ask them about money, right?
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Like, do you want your man to make more money than you?
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They always say money doesn't matter, right?
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So, in in your opinion, do you think that money and material things helps men, even though women don't always admit it?
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Or in your experience, do you think that women, yeah, like a woman may even help support a man or she is okay building with um a man from a financial standpoint?
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I would say it's a hit or miss, you know, like with today's society and social media is hard, but I feel like it is, you know, and that's just up to the man to decipher.
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You have to know what you're looking for, you know.
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You gotta catch on to them signs early.
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But definitely more than yeah, nine times out of ten, definitely.
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What what about this though?
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So I I hear women when they say that money like doesn't matter, but I would argue that having money and having material things does help get their attention.
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It does.
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I feel like attractive w women, they have a lot of things being thrown at them, a lot of offers, a lot of men hitting on them, right?
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How do you stand out from the crowd?
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And so I I think that that's the biggest thing where men are trying to be aspirational and be more successful just to give themselves a chance.
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In your opinion, how do you stand out as a as a man with with the girl that you're attracted to?
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Uh charisma.
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You gotta be charis charismatic and you have to have integrity, I feel like.
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You know, and from my experience, I like a little chase, you know?
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Like I like a little chase because it shows me like we're we're hunters.
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As men, we're hunters.
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We're supposed to go out and hunt.
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Yeah.
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So it just gives me the sense of clarity that I need that it's not easy.
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But I I like what you said though, too, because men are hunters, right?
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Yeah.
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With that said though, like you don't want it to be too easy for you.
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Because then you're like, is it easy for everybody?
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And that that's the opposite of what you want, right?
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So there is that delicate balance for for women where it's like, okay, if if there is a man that you're uh attracted to, you don't you don't want to make it too easy for them because then you you always have that like I feel like a lot of men have that self-talk of like, okay, am I that great?
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Yeah, or is it it will it be this easy for the next guy too, right?
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Definitely.
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Because I feel like you don't ever want to be thinking to yourself, damn, like anything that gets put in front of my girl, she's gonna go.
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If if a if a celebrity Dina is my girl, she's gone.
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If a guy with a nicer house, a nicer car, bigger muscles than me talks to her, she she's gonna go.
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Yeah, right.
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So you do want to be able to trust the fact that that your woman can't be had easily.
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Definitely.
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And if it wasn't easy for you, then chances are it's not gonna be easy for the next guy, right?
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But what about female ambition?
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Is female ambition attractive to you?
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Of course, definitely.
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I feel like that's needed.
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Like to do with me, because I'm a hustler and I've been a hustler my whole life.
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So I feel like for me in general, like you gotta have something going on, if not something more to me.
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It's gonna make me want to go out and get more.
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I like that.
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Definitely.
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I like that.
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So you don't and in your sp specific opinion, you ideally want a woman that's chasing her own goals, building her own life, you guys join up and you build build together as opposed to a woman that's just looking for like to be taken care of.
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Yeah.
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Cause to me, that doesn't really feel real.
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Like of course, we men, we spoke about like, I'm gonna take care of the bills regardless.
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But I just want to know that if I fall, you can pick up the slack, even though I would never ask you to pick up the slack.
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I just want to know that you can.
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Yeah, that you can, yeah.
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With that said, do you believe in like the traditional gender roles of okay, a man is gonna provide and protect?
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Yeah.
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Or do you feel like more of the the 50-50 route is is better for for modern dating?
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For modern dating, for my experience, I mean, I would say once again, like, I'm gonna take care of what I need to take care of.
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But if I go all in on the bills, can you buy some groceries?
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Can you stock the fridge?
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You know, can you clean up?
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Like, I'm never gonna ask you to go unless I really need it.
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Yeah.
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You know, and then but then again, with today's society, you might be vulnerable if you ask.
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So I feel like, yeah, like you just gotta be able to pick up where I slack.
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Yeah.
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Okay, this is um kind of a controversial question, but what about a woman's body count or like her past?
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Do you do you ever get into that?
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Do you ever ask, you know, and then is it even worth asking?
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Like, are is she is she gonna tell tell you the truth?
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Like, what are your thoughts on that?
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I feel like younger me, yeah.
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You know, because you just the thought of it, you don't want to deal with somebody that's been around the block a few times.
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Yeah.
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But I feel like the older I get, the more it doesn't really matter.
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Cause as men, like I said, we hunters, so we had our fair share.
00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:18.240
So it's like, it depends.
00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:23.679
Like, of course, down the line, six months into the relationship, I don't want to find out that you slept with a hundred dudes.
00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:23.919
Yeah.
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:27.919
Like, that's just a conversation that has to come about naturally, not forced.
00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:28.240
Yeah.
00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:32.399
But I don't really, from my experience, it doesn't really matter, you know, if you like the person, you like the person.
00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:34.559
Dude, I I totally agree.
00:15:34.720 --> 00:15:44.080
And I I've kind of felt like if if I find out like naturally, like I'm not gonna go looking, you know, I'm not really gonna bring it up and ask you.
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:47.039
So I feel like, okay, what are the hands that she's actually gonna tell the truth, right?
00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:47.679
It's cliche.
00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:54.480
But like if it's put in front of me, if it finds out naturally, then you can make an adjustment at that point.
00:15:54.879 --> 00:15:56.240
But yeah, I totally agree.
00:15:56.320 --> 00:16:10.320
Like the the older we we get as adults, that that just seems like I don't want to say not important, but just not a issue that you're gonna like live and die with, right?
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:14.399
Yeah, you know, people as they grow up, they're learning, people make make decisions.
00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:16.559
And so I I think that it's a conversation.
00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:18.960
If you try to have it with the woman, it's not gonna go anywhere.
00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:28.399
So definitely, you know, if if you're in into her and she like you like how she carries herself now, and you you like how she projects going forward, that's really all you need to worry about.
00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:32.320
Yeah, so we have a uh a new segment on this show.
00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:33.279
Let's get it.
00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:35.279
It's called uh crazy or not.
00:16:35.600 --> 00:16:36.000
All right.
00:16:36.159 --> 00:16:38.720
So I'm gonna bounce a couple ideas off you.
00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:42.639
I need you to tell me if they're crazy or not, and then tell me why.
00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:42.960
Okay.
00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:43.440
Okay.
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:44.960
All right.
00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:51.440
First one, is it crazy for couples to share their phone passwords with each other?
00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:54.240
I'm kind of in the middle with that.
00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:55.440
Okay, explain.
00:16:56.080 --> 00:17:02.159
Cause I feel like before the like, it's crazy because you want to be able to trust your partner.
00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:02.480
Yeah.
00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:09.119
And you know, every like everybody has, you know, their own entitlement, you know.
00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:15.519
So it's like your girl might tell her friends, like, oh yeah, my man asked for my password, and they'd be like, Oh, my man will never go through my phone.
00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:21.039
So it's like, yeah, it's just a bunch of it's in the middle, it's like a twist and pull.
00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:25.200
But I feel like uh it's I me personally, I need that password.
00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:30.160
Yeah, I don't want to go through, but I feel like in a relationship, you have to build trust.
00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:33.440
And if there's signs of anything, I'd rather see it.
00:17:33.599 --> 00:17:36.240
And I ain't gonna lie, when I'm in a relationship, I get delusional.
00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:39.599
So well, I I mean, I think that's everybody, right?
00:17:39.839 --> 00:17:45.119
Like when you're when you're into someone, you accept things that you otherwise would never accept a lot of times, right?
00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:46.000
Facts, facts.
00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:47.920
So and I I think that that's everyone.
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:50.480
You want to see the best in people, especially when when you like them.
00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:54.880
Yeah, you you may change or accept things that if you weren't in love, you would never accept.
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:55.519
No, facts.
00:17:55.759 --> 00:18:00.799
This is why I asked the question though, because it's like, okay, if you have the password, it doesn't mean you use it.
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:02.480
Yeah, it doesn't mean you use it, you know.
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:06.720
But it's also like if you're ever curious, you you could go look.
00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:09.920
But if you have hers, it's only right that she has yours as well.
00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:11.039
Of course, of course, of course.
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:16.079
And so could that be something where you mutually help each other build trust, right?
00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:16.720
Definitely.
00:18:16.880 --> 00:18:20.480
And if you have nothing to hide, it's gonna show for itself.
00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:20.720
Yeah.
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:23.119
It's like, hey, you know, I'll leave leave my phone up here.
00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:23.839
Here it is, you know.
00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:26.079
There's that transparency.
00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:33.039
But I I think that in modern dating, you know, and it goes back to social media, it's like this illusion that we all have all these options.
00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:34.000
These all these options.
00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:37.119
And it's like, listen, people, the grass is green where you water it.
00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:40.640
And and you may think that you got all these other options.
00:18:40.960 --> 00:18:42.160
The water bill is gonna be high.
00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:43.440
And the water bill is gonna be high.
00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:45.039
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:49.119
Is it crazy for couples to share their locations 24-7?
00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:50.240
Nah.
00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:51.359
Okay, inexpensive.
00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:52.000
Not really.
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:56.240
Because once again, if you trust your partner, you should.
00:18:56.480 --> 00:19:04.240
I mean, like, I never really was one to really care about the location, but speaking from experience, you know, I've I've shared locations with my partner.
00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:04.720
Yeah.
00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:10.880
Um, I don't think it's crazy because I want you to know that I'm doing what I'm doing and you can trust me.
00:19:11.119 --> 00:19:15.440
But then again, with today's society, it's a lot of tricks that these females be doing, man.
00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:17.279
The iPad, the laptop.
00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:18.880
Gotta watch out, man.
00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:19.200
Yeah.
00:19:19.359 --> 00:19:20.720
But I know it's tricky, man.
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:24.799
You can share locations, but you gotta be able to know that there's ways of getting around it.
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:24.960
Right.
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:25.519
For sure.
00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:25.920
Right.
00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:34.240
And and so listen, the the goal of of throwing these ideas out there is like how how do we bring people back together, right?
00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:35.839
There are a lot of trust issues.
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:40.559
People have um, maybe you know, they've had bad experiences in the past that they're holding on to.
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:41.279
Yeah, right.
00:19:41.519 --> 00:19:43.519
And a lot of it is due to a lack of trust.
00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:45.440
You told me one thing, you end up doing another.
00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:45.759
Yep.
00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:54.559
So it's like if we want to move forward, we have to get people to be able to quickly and efficiently build trust in each other, right?
00:19:54.640 --> 00:19:57.519
And so these are steps that I think, or at least we're talking about.
00:19:57.680 --> 00:19:58.160
Yeah, facts.
00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:04.240
You know, and not everybody is gonna be comfortable with with all these, but it is it is something that we're okay.
00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:09.519
If you're in into someone and you at least make the offer, at least you're trying to build that equity.
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:16.799
Like, hey, I'm trying to prove that you're that I'm someone that when I tell you something, or if I tell you I'm gonna be here, you can check it, right?
00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:17.920
And vice versa.
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:18.559
Yep.
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:19.200
Okay.
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:20.799
Next one.
00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:26.640
Is it crazy to ban opposite sex friendships once you get into a relationship?
00:20:27.839 --> 00:20:31.519
Well, like when I was younger, I used to feel like it was an issue.
00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:49.519
It just depends, bro, because like we we might have people that we saying it's our friends, but you know, they'd had entanglements in the past, or you know, it's that saying uh it's just your turn, or just the um females always know who's next, vice versa, for men and women.
00:20:49.680 --> 00:21:02.640
But I mean, I personally don't have an issue with it, but then again, like I'm gonna watch it, you know, like I'm gonna pay attention to it, but I'll probably never speak on it because once again, if that person was around before me, yeah, yeah.
00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:09.599
I mean, I would just have to meet them and you know have a genuine manly man conversation with him, bro.
00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:10.960
But no new friends for sure.
00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:13.599
Like we're not just waking up tomorrow, like, yeah, I just met this dude at the mall.
00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:13.920
Yeah.
00:21:14.240 --> 00:21:14.799
We're not doing that.
00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:15.200
Yeah.
00:21:15.279 --> 00:21:15.519
Yeah.
00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:28.079
And it's interesting because I feel like a lot of times as men, if you say to your girl, I don't, I'm not comfortable with you having a male friend, she's gonna tell you that you're in an insecure, right?
00:21:28.240 --> 00:21:28.480
Of course.
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:30.799
Don't worry about it, you know, whatever.
00:21:31.119 --> 00:21:41.119
And so I think that as men, especially as we get older, we have to be striving to be our best self so that we can become our girl's best option, right?
00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:41.359
Yeah.
00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:58.000
If if you know that you're doing everything you can physically, emotionally, financially, to be the provider and be a man that a woman truly desires, then you shouldn't have to worry about like other men, you know, friends or whatever, exes, whatever, right?
00:21:58.559 --> 00:22:03.279
So I think that it it's You can't you can't control these girls anymore, right?
00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:06.720
You you have to try to build genuine desire and attraction.
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:11.759
I feel like if you're striving to be your best self, easier said than done.
00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:12.799
Yeah, facts, facts, facts.
00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:25.279
You know, especially if her, you know, her male bestie, you know, is more successful or taller or better looking than you, listen, you know, it it's hard to not be a little in insecure, right?
00:22:25.440 --> 00:22:30.960
Because you don't, you don't know, especially with all this divisive content that's thrown at us on social media, right?
00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:31.759
Definitely.
00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:41.200
But I I just think that as men, if you're striving to be your best self, typically women will respect that and they'll they'll act, right?
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:42.559
They'll act accordingly, right?
00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:43.119
Oh, definitely.
00:22:43.279 --> 00:22:44.480
But yeah, no, I agree with you.
00:22:44.559 --> 00:22:46.160
Like, no, let's let's limit the new friends.
00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:50.480
Unless we meet like, you know, like we go together and we meet each other.
00:22:50.799 --> 00:22:51.759
Like we meet them together.
00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:52.400
Yeah.
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:54.160
And you of course you're not gonna have his number.
00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:56.480
We're not gonna, yeah, no, we're gonna be in a group chat.
00:22:56.720 --> 00:22:59.359
Like it's I mean, it's controlling, but it's not controlling.
00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:03.599
Because it's like, like you said, bro, if you're working on everything you need to work on, you don't got nothing to worry about.
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:04.319
Right, right.
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:04.960
Totally agree.
00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:05.359
Okay.
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:13.119
Is it crazy to set up marriage in five-year increments where both sides have to agree to renew every five years?
00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:14.160
Is that crazy?
00:23:15.359 --> 00:23:26.720
In a way, it kind of makes sense, bro, because you obviously don't want to waste time and you want to know if your partner still feels the same on the same level as five years ago, if that were to be a real thing, but I don't think it's crazy.
00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:29.519
So, what are your thoughts like overall on marriage?
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:30.559
Like, do you want to get married?
00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:32.079
Do you think marriage is a good thing?
00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:33.519
Yeah, I do want to get married.
00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:39.279
And I'm actually in a relationship right now, so this is the first time that I ever really thought about marriage and kids and stuff.
00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:49.599
So, from my experience, bro, I do like I do want to change and become somebody that can uh be a husband and be a father one day.
00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:49.839
Yeah.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:55.920
But my overall thoughts on it is just find a person that makes you feel something, bro.
00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:56.880
Like, yeah.
00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:01.200
It's way deeper than social media and intimacy, bro.
00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:04.559
Like, you gotta find a person that clicks with your inner soul, bro.
00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:08.400
And from my experience, that's kind of what I'm dealing with right now.
00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:08.960
Yeah.
00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:10.559
And I I definitely love that.
00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:16.640
And I think it's it's very important at the same time, you know, over time people change, right?
00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:23.039
And so this is why it's like, man, you know, if you had a situation where it's every five, so it's not every six months.
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:26.079
You gotta, you gotta be willing to work through adversity, right?
00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:26.960
Of course.
00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:32.880
But it's just interesting to me because it's like, you know, you truly get to know someone as time goes on.
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:37.839
You're in a relationship, you you you live with them, you're around them longer, you know.
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:48.079
And I I think that marriage scares a lot of people, mainly men, but maybe women too, because it's one of the few times in life where you're asked to make a lifetime commitment.
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:51.920
Definitely, you know, and so you really gotta pick the right one.
00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:53.920
Same thing goes for for women too, right?
00:24:54.640 --> 00:25:01.119
But some of these people out here are good at at faking, good at showing you one thing and and really hiding who they truly are, right?
00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:14.880
So if you if you trusted someone enough to marry them, and then three, four years later you start to find out this isn't what I signed up for, it's like you're stuck.
00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:25.119
And so, like you said, for better or or for worse, but if it turned into something that you never were shown, you never had the chance to say, uh, I don't know about that.
00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:27.359
It's like, is it is is that fair?
00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:30.640
Is it should should you be forced to to stay, you know, forever?
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:32.079
Or should you have a way to get?
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:36.319
And I know like there's divorce and all that, but yeah, you know, it's just it's just interesting to me.
00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:44.720
Like, if there was some sort of setup to where, okay, we're we're gonna both try and do this, and every five years we both gotta agree to to keep keep going, right?
00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:50.640
Yeah, you know, I don't I don't necessarily think that's a like a crazy idea, right?
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:51.759
I don't think so.
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:55.920
I ain't trying to be 10 years down the line and not unhappy and we sleep in a separate room.
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:56.960
In separate rooms, yeah.
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:00.480
Yeah, that's that's just not not ideal, right?
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:29.599
And so, and there is the factor too where, you know, if you know that you are in a great relationship, you know, and you know that if your partner isn't happy at the end of whatever term it is, it it could create a situation where both sides are like trying to go out of their way to make sure the other side is happy, as opposed to be becoming content and not keeping yourself up, not working as hard to make your partner happy as you did like before you got married, right?
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:38.400
So if there is a more incentive to ensure that the person that you're getting in your marriage is the person that you fell in love with, I think that would be helpful.
00:26:38.880 --> 00:26:39.680
Facts, facts.
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:41.440
That's it for crazy or not.
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:42.720
Um, great conversation.
00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:46.160
Is there anything else that you would want to touch on?
00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:50.400
Any other lessons you learned, anything else that you think could help the overall dating market?
00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:54.799
Um just trust your partner, bro.
00:26:54.880 --> 00:26:59.279
Like I feel like as we all human, bro, and we all go through our own issues.
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:04.559
And as men, you know, speaking for all men, I'm sure none of us talk about our problems, man.
00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:04.960
No.
00:27:05.200 --> 00:27:10.960
But find you somebody that makes you okay with being emotional.
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:16.640
If yeah, you know if you get what I'm saying, like you don't gotta be overly emotional, but find somebody that is your safe space for you to talk.
00:27:16.960 --> 00:27:19.200
Because it's not okay to bottle things up, you know.
00:27:19.359 --> 00:27:24.000
And mainly whatever God you believe in, keep it in the center of your relationship.
00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:25.039
Yeah, I love that.
00:27:25.200 --> 00:27:31.680
And I I do think that as men, as long as you're striving to be your best self, trying to be the best man that you possibly can.
00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:33.200
I think women do respect that.
00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:48.400
And I think if you're vulnerable and and you confide in your woman as you're working on your goals and being aspirational and building, I think that's the best situation to share, you know, maybe your issues or your problems with with your girl, right?
00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:53.759
When you're if your girl doesn't respect you and then you try to be vulnerable, I don't think that that's gonna work.
00:27:53.920 --> 00:28:01.359
Yeah, I think as men, we try to like impress women with material things a lot of times where we need to be trying to gain their respect.
00:28:01.440 --> 00:28:04.240
I think a lot of these girls right now is just don't respect a lot of men.
00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:05.839
No, they don't, because they could do it themselves.
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:06.160
Right.
00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:07.440
They they could do it themselves.
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:08.160
Exactly.
00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:09.200
Very well said.
00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:11.519
I I totally agree with that.
00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:21.920
And so as men, if your mindset kind of flips to okay, I'm attracted to whoever it is, how do I gain her respect?
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:29.759
I think that'll take you further than okay, I need to buy, you know, this fancy car, I need to buy her this bag, take her to this fancy dinner, because then she'll like me.
00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:30.880
I don't think that's the case.
00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:33.680
I think if she if she respects you, you're good.
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:37.759
It's gonna become an expectation, and then sometimes you might not be able to uphold that expectation.
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:38.640
Uh, yeah.
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:39.519
Yeah, exactly.
00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:40.160
Exactly.
00:28:40.240 --> 00:28:46.160
And you don't want to set that expectation up front and build the foundation of your relationship on like something that you can't maintain.
00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:46.960
Facts.
00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:47.359
Yeah.
00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:48.240
I love that, man.
00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:50.240
So I just takes a conversation.
00:28:50.400 --> 00:28:50.720
Yeah.
00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:52.079
Anything else?
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:54.079
I think we touched base on everything, man.
00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:54.720
All right, cool, man.
00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:56.160
Hey, I appreciate you coming in, man.
00:28:56.319 --> 00:28:57.519
I appreciate you for having me, man.
00:28:57.680 --> 00:28:57.920
Cool.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:28:59.359
Let's fix modern dating.
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:00.559
I'm your host, Will Scott.
00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:02.400
Hey, we'll see you guys next time.
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:11.039
From a social media standpoint, especially on an Instagram, what are certain things that you like to see on a woman that you're attracted to, like on her page?
00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:13.839
And then what are a couple of things that you don't like to see?
00:00:14.160 --> 00:00:15.199
I could speak for all men.
00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:16.800
I feel like we check them highlights, man.
00:00:17.120 --> 00:00:18.879
Yeah, we're checking them highlights.
00:00:18.960 --> 00:00:19.120
Right.
00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:21.679
I don't want to see half-naked stuff.
00:00:21.839 --> 00:00:27.760
I don't want to see like past situationships or past relationships, anything like that.
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Hold yourself to a higher standard, you know, like keep it as if like your mother was on your page, like if she was watching you.
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Yeah.
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Let's fix modern dating.
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I'm your host, Will Scott.
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This podcast is brought to you by Elite Level Status Wine.
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You can catch us on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube.
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Today I have a special guest.
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His name is Damien.
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Thanks for coming in.
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Appreciate you for having me, man.
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It's a pleasure.
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For sure.
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All right, so let's jump right into it.
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Tell me your overall thoughts about modern dating.
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My overall thought on modern dating in today's society, I feel like social media kind of ruined it.
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I mean, okay, and explain that.
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I feel like because everybody has this um this illusion of options, you know, it's a click away.
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Anybody could just slide in your girl DM, vice versa, especially, you know, it's just a whole it's it's it's crazy.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Now, how have you had any personal experiences with with that?
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And what's the what's the fix?
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How do you, if you're out there and you're talking to a a woman, how do you make sure that she's comfortable with you from a social media standpoint?
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But also, how do you try to make sure that she understands what you are comfortable with and also what you're not comfortable with as far as her social media goes?
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I feel like that's all just a conversation, you know, like not to be controlling or, you know, uh, what's that, hypocritical?
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Yeah.
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You just gotta have a conversation.
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I feel like once you relay your boundaries, it's up to your partner to, you know, deal with it on their own.
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But I feel like just simply just you gotta know what you're dealing with, you know.
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Like from my experience, you know, with what I got going on, uh, my girl would just have to deal with that, you know, I work with higher level, you know, celebrities and I'm gonna be around certain things.
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She just has to understand that.
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But that's just a conversation.
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I totally agree, man.
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Well, how early in a relationship are you trying to have that conversation?
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Like, ideally, would you want to have a couple good dates but before you have that conversation or are you gonna wait longer?
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Um, I would say, I mean, I really don't think, like, from my experience, I don't really think it's a time limit on land boundaries.
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It just is has to be respectful, you know, not to be controlling.
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But I feel like a couple dates down the line, I try to get myself like a three-month rule, but we already know that don't really last sometimes.
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It's it's the person, you know.
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If you're feeling them, you're feeling them.
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But so from a social media standpoint, especially on an Instagram, yeah.
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What are certain things that you like to see on a woman that you're attracted to, like on her page?
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And then what are a couple things that you don't like to see?
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I could speak for all men.
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I feel like we check them highlights, man.
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Yeah, we're checking them highlights.
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Right.
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I don't want to see half naked stuff, but I mean, I'm in a gym, so I post my gym content.
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So if it's gym content and stuff like that, I could deal with that.
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Right.
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But I don't want to see, you know, like past situationships or past relationships, anything like that.
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Just hold yourself to a higher standard, you know, like keep it as if like your mother was on your page, like if she was watching you.
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Yeah.
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And I I love that too.
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And it's not like trying to be judgmental or anything.
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You're just trying to do your research and and vet your potential woman to kind of like say both of you guys, right?
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If if you can see something that that you know isn't gonna work for you, yeah, then let's let's not even like waste her time, right?
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Let's not waste your your time too, right?
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So I I think that you know, a lot of women, they they may see things like, hey, I I post for myself, I don't post for for men.
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And that's that's fine, right?
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But if your goal is to find a man, and if your goal is to, you know, try and be in a long-term relationship, there are certain things that you can do to help yourself, right?
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Definitely.
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So that kind of goes into my next question.
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Like, if you were to give advice to women for how they can get the men that they're attracted to to take them seriously, what are some things that you would tell them?
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I would say it all starts with like it's the little things, you know.
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Like it we like as men, we don't really like you can satisfy us in the smallest ways.
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Like it's the bare minimum.
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I feel like the crowd you keep, um, the way you hold yourself, um your work ethic, and then just who you are as a person.
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Like, if you can listen, then I feel like you'll attract anything.
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But most in today's society, I feel like most women just um deal with the people that they can get instead of the people that they're attracted to.
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Okay.
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Because it's easier.
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Okay.
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Can you can you dive a little deeper in in into that?
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Um, it's like I seen a TikTok video on it.
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It was like, um it was like most women are comfortable dealing with, like, if you ever see uh a baddie out and she got somebody that you just look like, man, why is she with him?
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Right.
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It's like females go for the guy that they can get over the guy that they need because nine times out of ten, the guy that they need not gonna put up with half of the BS, you know.
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I definitely think that that's an interesting point, but again, that's why I wanted to have the show.
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I feel like sometimes maybe women may not know any better.
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Like they may think that men want certain things, yeah, and that's not really the case, right?
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So we're we're here to try to fix those those disconnects so that we can bring people back back together, right?
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Definitely.
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I I would say, and tell me if you agree, but I mean, like, most men, like, we we really don't need that much, right?
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Like, like you said, um, men want to be the the leader.
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Men, men want to lead that their woman.
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They want to make sure that their woman feels feels safe.
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And so if you allow the man to lead, if you listen, um, and obviously everyone has their type, you know, you want like a certain level of attraction as as well.
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Yeah.
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But outside of that, what else comes to mind as far as like traits and things that you would want from your ideal woman?
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I just want, you know, if my ideal woman, sometimes as men, we just want to be heard, you know?
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Yeah.
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We want to be understood.
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Like after a long day working and going out to sacrifice, we just want to know that you got our back and we're doing the right things.
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We just want to be seen sometimes.
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And I feel like from my experience, you know, I've had relationships where I felt like I wasn't seen.
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Yeah.
00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:14.399
But I feel like just that and mainly just anything, just calm, you know, like the space I'm in, from my experience, I'm just trying to be peaceful.
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Like, I just I don't really want a lot of extra headaches right now.
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Yeah.
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I think that most men would agree with that.
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Like the world can be stressful as men.
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Sometimes when you when you come home or you go to your girl, you want that to be your your your sanctuary.
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You want your girl to add to your peace.
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You don't want more, you know, unnecessary drama with your girl, right?
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Definitely.
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But I want to go back to something you just said though.
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So you you want to be seen.
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And I I love that.
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To me, my woman can make me feel seen when she's when she verbalizes how happy or how grateful she is for the things that I do, right?
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Yeah.
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I feel like nothing is better than a grateful woman.
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Definitely.
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And so what are some examples to you for how a woman can make you feel seen?
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Um, you know, like if I come back from the gym and just a simple, hey babe, you look good.
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Or you know, like, or if we out to eat and the tab come back, just you know, you don't gotta help.
00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:09.759
I'm never gonna take the money.
00:08:09.920 --> 00:08:11.680
But just the thought that you might go in your purse.
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Yeah, we might just got lip gloss in your idea in your purse, but just the idea that you went in your purse.
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You're being considerate.
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You're being considerate, you know, stuff like that.
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And then just words of affirmation, you know, because like you said, as men it's hard, you know, it's hard.
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We got a lot of stuff that we deal with that we obviously don't tell our ladies.
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Yeah.
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And we all keep it to ourselves, but just being verbal, yeah.
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That's the main thing.
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And I think that's huge.
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I think that, you know, women require that verbal affirmation, right?
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Of course.
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And so as men, you gotta act tough.
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You know, it's a lot of times not within your best interest to share your feelings.
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You don't ever want to come across as like soft or like vulnerable, right?
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Because your girl may lose respect, right?
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And so most men will never show show their emotions.
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So I understand that sometimes like, oh, I want a guy that's emotionally uh available.
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A lot of times I I would argue men, that's not within your best interest, like especially up front.
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You need to be a pillar of strength and consistency at all times.
00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:19.600
But the same way that women require that verbal affirmation, I think as men, we would love that from a woman.
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Yeah, definitely.
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To verbalize your appreciation, to tell us whatever it is, whether it's how he's dressed, he's been working out, he works hard, what he he cleaned the kitchen well.
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Whatever it is, right?
00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:42.320
I I do think that that could help a lot of relationships when women and look, like men definitely aren't perfect at this either, right?
00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:49.919
So like people tend to verbalize things that they don't like, definitely, but things that you do well, they they can keep that in.
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And so I I think that both men and women can do a better job of verbalizing to your partner things that you do like, things that they're doing well, right?
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Would you agree with that?
00:09:59.600 --> 00:10:00.639
Yeah, I can agree for sure.
00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:01.679
Yeah, for sure.
00:10:01.919 --> 00:10:05.919
Women always say, at least on this show, when I ask them about money, right?
00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:09.200
Like, do you want your man to make more money than you?
00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:11.840
They always say money doesn't matter, right?
00:10:12.399 --> 00:10:21.600
So, in in your opinion, do you think that money and material things helps men, even though women don't always admit it?
00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:30.799
Or in your experience, do you think that women, yeah, like a woman may even help support a man or she is okay building with um a man from a financial standpoint?
00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:43.360
I would say it's a hit or miss, you know, like with today's society and social media is hard, but I feel like it is, you know, and that's just up to the man to decipher.
00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:44.879
You have to know what you're looking for, you know.
00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:46.720
You gotta catch on to them signs early.
00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:50.960
But definitely more than yeah, nine times out of ten, definitely.
00:10:51.200 --> 00:10:52.399
What what about this though?
00:10:52.559 --> 00:11:04.159
So I I hear women when they say that money like doesn't matter, but I would argue that having money and having material things does help get their attention.
00:11:04.399 --> 00:11:04.799
It does.
00:11:04.960 --> 00:11:11.200
I feel like attractive w women, they have a lot of things being thrown at them, a lot of offers, a lot of men hitting on them, right?
00:11:13.360 --> 00:11:16.399
How do you stand out from the crowd?
00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:24.799
And so I I think that that's the biggest thing where men are trying to be aspirational and be more successful just to give themselves a chance.
00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:30.559
In your opinion, how do you stand out as a as a man with with the girl that you're attracted to?
00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:32.559
Uh charisma.
00:11:32.639 --> 00:11:36.639
You gotta be charis charismatic and you have to have integrity, I feel like.
00:11:36.799 --> 00:11:39.440
You know, and from my experience, I like a little chase, you know?
00:11:39.600 --> 00:11:42.799
Like I like a little chase because it shows me like we're we're hunters.
00:11:42.879 --> 00:11:43.679
As men, we're hunters.
00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:44.639
We're supposed to go out and hunt.
00:11:44.720 --> 00:11:44.960
Yeah.
00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:50.799
So it just gives me the sense of clarity that I need that it's not easy.
00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:55.840
But I I like what you said though, too, because men are hunters, right?
00:11:55.919 --> 00:11:56.559
Yeah.
00:11:57.039 --> 00:12:03.759
With that said though, like you don't want it to be too easy for you.
00:12:04.879 --> 00:12:06.320
Because then you're like, is it easy for everybody?
00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:09.759
And that that's the opposite of what you want, right?
00:12:09.919 --> 00:12:28.559
So there is that delicate balance for for women where it's like, okay, if if there is a man that you're uh attracted to, you don't you don't want to make it too easy for them because then you you always have that like I feel like a lot of men have that self-talk of like, okay, am I that great?
00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:32.720
Yeah, or is it it will it be this easy for the next guy too, right?
00:12:32.879 --> 00:12:33.360
Definitely.
00:12:33.600 --> 00:12:42.639
Because I feel like you don't ever want to be thinking to yourself, damn, like anything that gets put in front of my girl, she's gonna go.
00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:45.679
If if a if a celebrity Dina is my girl, she's gone.
00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:51.279
If a guy with a nicer house, a nicer car, bigger muscles than me talks to her, she she's gonna go.
00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:52.080
Yeah, right.
00:12:52.559 --> 00:12:59.600
So you do want to be able to trust the fact that that your woman can't be had easily.
00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:00.480
Definitely.
00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:06.000
And if it wasn't easy for you, then chances are it's not gonna be easy for the next guy, right?
00:13:06.399 --> 00:13:09.120
But what about female ambition?
00:13:09.759 --> 00:13:11.519
Is female ambition attractive to you?
00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:12.879
Of course, definitely.
00:13:12.960 --> 00:13:13.919
I feel like that's needed.
00:13:14.240 --> 00:13:17.039
Like to do with me, because I'm a hustler and I've been a hustler my whole life.
00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:23.600
So I feel like for me in general, like you gotta have something going on, if not something more to me.
00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:25.440
It's gonna make me want to go out and get more.
00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:26.080
I like that.
00:13:26.399 --> 00:13:26.960
Definitely.
00:13:27.279 --> 00:13:27.840
I like that.
00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:45.039
So you don't and in your sp specific opinion, you ideally want a woman that's chasing her own goals, building her own life, you guys join up and you build build together as opposed to a woman that's just looking for like to be taken care of.
00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:45.600
Yeah.
00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:48.000
Cause to me, that doesn't really feel real.
00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:52.080
Like of course, we men, we spoke about like, I'm gonna take care of the bills regardless.
00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:57.120
But I just want to know that if I fall, you can pick up the slack, even though I would never ask you to pick up the slack.
00:13:57.279 --> 00:13:58.080
I just want to know that you can.
00:13:58.240 --> 00:13:59.440
Yeah, that you can, yeah.
00:13:59.919 --> 00:14:09.279
With that said, do you believe in like the traditional gender roles of okay, a man is gonna provide and protect?
00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:09.679
Yeah.
00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:16.399
Or do you feel like more of the the 50-50 route is is better for for modern dating?
00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:24.240
For modern dating, for my experience, I mean, I would say once again, like, I'm gonna take care of what I need to take care of.
00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:27.440
But if I go all in on the bills, can you buy some groceries?
00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:28.559
Can you stock the fridge?
00:14:28.639 --> 00:14:29.840
You know, can you clean up?
00:14:29.919 --> 00:14:34.240
Like, I'm never gonna ask you to go unless I really need it.
00:14:34.320 --> 00:14:34.559
Yeah.
00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:39.519
You know, and then but then again, with today's society, you might be vulnerable if you ask.
00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:44.879
So I feel like, yeah, like you just gotta be able to pick up where I slack.
00:14:45.039 --> 00:14:45.279
Yeah.
00:14:45.519 --> 00:14:53.679
Okay, this is um kind of a controversial question, but what about a woman's body count or like her past?
00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:55.840
Do you do you ever get into that?
00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:59.759
Do you ever ask, you know, and then is it even worth asking?
00:14:59.840 --> 00:15:01.600
Like, are is she is she gonna tell tell you the truth?
00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:02.879
Like, what are your thoughts on that?
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:05.519
I feel like younger me, yeah.
00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:10.720
You know, because you just the thought of it, you don't want to deal with somebody that's been around the block a few times.
00:15:10.799 --> 00:15:10.960
Yeah.
00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:13.519
But I feel like the older I get, the more it doesn't really matter.
00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:16.559
Cause as men, like I said, we hunters, so we had our fair share.
00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:18.240
So it's like, it depends.
00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:23.679
Like, of course, down the line, six months into the relationship, I don't want to find out that you slept with a hundred dudes.
00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:23.919
Yeah.
00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:27.919
Like, that's just a conversation that has to come about naturally, not forced.
00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:28.240
Yeah.
00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:32.399
But I don't really, from my experience, it doesn't really matter, you know, if you like the person, you like the person.
00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:34.559
Dude, I I totally agree.
00:15:34.720 --> 00:15:44.080
And I I've kind of felt like if if I find out like naturally, like I'm not gonna go looking, you know, I'm not really gonna bring it up and ask you.
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:47.039
So I feel like, okay, what are the hands that she's actually gonna tell the truth, right?
00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:47.679
It's cliche.
00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:54.480
But like if it's put in front of me, if it finds out naturally, then you can make an adjustment at that point.
00:15:54.879 --> 00:15:56.240
But yeah, I totally agree.
00:15:56.320 --> 00:16:10.320
Like the the older we we get as adults, that that just seems like I don't want to say not important, but just not a issue that you're gonna like live and die with, right?
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:14.399
Yeah, you know, people as they grow up, they're learning, people make make decisions.
00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:16.559
And so I I think that it's a conversation.
00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:18.960
If you try to have it with the woman, it's not gonna go anywhere.
00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:28.399
So definitely, you know, if if you're in into her and she like you like how she carries herself now, and you you like how she projects going forward, that's really all you need to worry about.
00:16:28.480 --> 00:16:32.320
Yeah, so we have a uh a new segment on this show.
00:16:32.559 --> 00:16:33.279
Let's get it.
00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:35.279
It's called uh crazy or not.
00:16:35.600 --> 00:16:36.000
All right.
00:16:36.159 --> 00:16:38.720
So I'm gonna bounce a couple ideas off you.
00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:42.639
I need you to tell me if they're crazy or not, and then tell me why.
00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:42.960
Okay.
00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:43.440
Okay.
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:44.960
All right.
00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:51.440
First one, is it crazy for couples to share their phone passwords with each other?
00:16:52.799 --> 00:16:54.240
I'm kind of in the middle with that.
00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:55.440
Okay, explain.
00:16:56.080 --> 00:17:02.159
Cause I feel like before the like, it's crazy because you want to be able to trust your partner.
00:17:02.240 --> 00:17:02.480
Yeah.
00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:09.119
And you know, every like everybody has, you know, their own entitlement, you know.
00:17:09.200 --> 00:17:15.519
So it's like your girl might tell her friends, like, oh yeah, my man asked for my password, and they'd be like, Oh, my man will never go through my phone.
00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:21.039
So it's like, yeah, it's just a bunch of it's in the middle, it's like a twist and pull.
00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:25.200
But I feel like uh it's I me personally, I need that password.
00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:30.160
Yeah, I don't want to go through, but I feel like in a relationship, you have to build trust.
00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:33.440
And if there's signs of anything, I'd rather see it.
00:17:33.599 --> 00:17:36.240
And I ain't gonna lie, when I'm in a relationship, I get delusional.
00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:39.599
So well, I I mean, I think that's everybody, right?
00:17:39.839 --> 00:17:45.119
Like when you're when you're into someone, you accept things that you otherwise would never accept a lot of times, right?
00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:46.000
Facts, facts.
00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:47.920
So and I I think that that's everyone.
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:50.480
You want to see the best in people, especially when when you like them.
00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:54.880
Yeah, you you may change or accept things that if you weren't in love, you would never accept.
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:55.519
No, facts.
00:17:55.759 --> 00:18:00.799
This is why I asked the question though, because it's like, okay, if you have the password, it doesn't mean you use it.
00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:02.480
Yeah, it doesn't mean you use it, you know.
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:06.720
But it's also like if you're ever curious, you you could go look.
00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:09.920
But if you have hers, it's only right that she has yours as well.
00:18:10.160 --> 00:18:11.039
Of course, of course, of course.
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:16.079
And so could that be something where you mutually help each other build trust, right?
00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:16.720
Definitely.
00:18:16.880 --> 00:18:20.480
And if you have nothing to hide, it's gonna show for itself.
00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:20.720
Yeah.
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:23.119
It's like, hey, you know, I'll leave leave my phone up here.
00:18:23.200 --> 00:18:23.839
Here it is, you know.
00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:26.079
There's that transparency.
00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:33.039
But I I think that in modern dating, you know, and it goes back to social media, it's like this illusion that we all have all these options.
00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:34.000
These all these options.
00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:37.119
And it's like, listen, people, the grass is green where you water it.
00:18:37.359 --> 00:18:40.640
And and you may think that you got all these other options.
00:18:40.960 --> 00:18:42.160
The water bill is gonna be high.
00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:43.440
And the water bill is gonna be high.
00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:45.039
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
00:18:45.359 --> 00:18:49.119
Is it crazy for couples to share their locations 24-7?
00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:50.240
Nah.
00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:51.359
Okay, inexpensive.
00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:52.000
Not really.
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:56.240
Because once again, if you trust your partner, you should.
00:18:56.480 --> 00:19:04.240
I mean, like, I never really was one to really care about the location, but speaking from experience, you know, I've I've shared locations with my partner.
00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:04.720
Yeah.
00:19:04.880 --> 00:19:10.880
Um, I don't think it's crazy because I want you to know that I'm doing what I'm doing and you can trust me.
00:19:11.119 --> 00:19:15.440
But then again, with today's society, it's a lot of tricks that these females be doing, man.
00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:17.279
The iPad, the laptop.
00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:18.880
Gotta watch out, man.
00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:19.200
Yeah.
00:19:19.359 --> 00:19:20.720
But I know it's tricky, man.
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:24.799
You can share locations, but you gotta be able to know that there's ways of getting around it.
00:19:24.880 --> 00:19:24.960
Right.
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:25.519
For sure.
00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:25.920
Right.
00:19:26.079 --> 00:19:34.240
And and so listen, the the goal of of throwing these ideas out there is like how how do we bring people back together, right?
00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:35.839
There are a lot of trust issues.
00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:40.559
People have um, maybe you know, they've had bad experiences in the past that they're holding on to.
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:41.279
Yeah, right.
00:19:41.519 --> 00:19:43.519
And a lot of it is due to a lack of trust.
00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:45.440
You told me one thing, you end up doing another.
00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:45.759
Yep.
00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:54.559
So it's like if we want to move forward, we have to get people to be able to quickly and efficiently build trust in each other, right?
00:19:54.640 --> 00:19:57.519
And so these are steps that I think, or at least we're talking about.
00:19:57.680 --> 00:19:58.160
Yeah, facts.
00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:04.240
You know, and not everybody is gonna be comfortable with with all these, but it is it is something that we're okay.
00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:09.519
If you're in into someone and you at least make the offer, at least you're trying to build that equity.
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:16.799
Like, hey, I'm trying to prove that you're that I'm someone that when I tell you something, or if I tell you I'm gonna be here, you can check it, right?
00:20:17.039 --> 00:20:17.920
And vice versa.
00:20:18.160 --> 00:20:18.559
Yep.
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:19.200
Okay.
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:20.799
Next one.
00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:26.640
Is it crazy to ban opposite sex friendships once you get into a relationship?
00:20:27.839 --> 00:20:31.519
Well, like when I was younger, I used to feel like it was an issue.
00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:49.519
It just depends, bro, because like we we might have people that we saying it's our friends, but you know, they'd had entanglements in the past, or you know, it's that saying uh it's just your turn, or just the um females always know who's next, vice versa, for men and women.
00:20:49.680 --> 00:21:02.640
But I mean, I personally don't have an issue with it, but then again, like I'm gonna watch it, you know, like I'm gonna pay attention to it, but I'll probably never speak on it because once again, if that person was around before me, yeah, yeah.
00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:09.599
I mean, I would just have to meet them and you know have a genuine manly man conversation with him, bro.
00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:10.960
But no new friends for sure.
00:21:11.200 --> 00:21:13.599
Like we're not just waking up tomorrow, like, yeah, I just met this dude at the mall.
00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:13.920
Yeah.
00:21:14.240 --> 00:21:14.799
We're not doing that.
00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:15.200
Yeah.
00:21:15.279 --> 00:21:15.519
Yeah.
00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:28.079
And it's interesting because I feel like a lot of times as men, if you say to your girl, I don't, I'm not comfortable with you having a male friend, she's gonna tell you that you're in an insecure, right?
00:21:28.240 --> 00:21:28.480
Of course.
00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:30.799
Don't worry about it, you know, whatever.
00:21:31.119 --> 00:21:41.119
And so I think that as men, especially as we get older, we have to be striving to be our best self so that we can become our girl's best option, right?
00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:41.359
Yeah.
00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:58.000
If if you know that you're doing everything you can physically, emotionally, financially, to be the provider and be a man that a woman truly desires, then you shouldn't have to worry about like other men, you know, friends or whatever, exes, whatever, right?
00:21:58.559 --> 00:22:03.279
So I think that it it's You can't you can't control these girls anymore, right?
00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:06.720
You you have to try to build genuine desire and attraction.
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:11.759
I feel like if you're striving to be your best self, easier said than done.
00:22:11.920 --> 00:22:12.799
Yeah, facts, facts, facts.
00:22:12.960 --> 00:22:25.279
You know, especially if her, you know, her male bestie, you know, is more successful or taller or better looking than you, listen, you know, it it's hard to not be a little in insecure, right?
00:22:25.440 --> 00:22:30.960
Because you don't, you don't know, especially with all this divisive content that's thrown at us on social media, right?
00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:31.759
Definitely.
00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:41.200
But I I just think that as men, if you're striving to be your best self, typically women will respect that and they'll they'll act, right?
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:42.559
They'll act accordingly, right?
00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:43.119
Oh, definitely.
00:22:43.279 --> 00:22:44.480
But yeah, no, I agree with you.
00:22:44.559 --> 00:22:46.160
Like, no, let's let's limit the new friends.
00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:50.480
Unless we meet like, you know, like we go together and we meet each other.
00:22:50.799 --> 00:22:51.759
Like we meet them together.
00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:52.400
Yeah.
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:54.160
And you of course you're not gonna have his number.
00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:56.480
We're not gonna, yeah, no, we're gonna be in a group chat.
00:22:56.720 --> 00:22:59.359
Like it's I mean, it's controlling, but it's not controlling.
00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:03.599
Because it's like, like you said, bro, if you're working on everything you need to work on, you don't got nothing to worry about.
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:04.319
Right, right.
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:04.960
Totally agree.
00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:05.359
Okay.
00:23:05.599 --> 00:23:13.119
Is it crazy to set up marriage in five-year increments where both sides have to agree to renew every five years?
00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:14.160
Is that crazy?
00:23:15.359 --> 00:23:26.720
In a way, it kind of makes sense, bro, because you obviously don't want to waste time and you want to know if your partner still feels the same on the same level as five years ago, if that were to be a real thing, but I don't think it's crazy.
00:23:26.960 --> 00:23:29.519
So, what are your thoughts like overall on marriage?
00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:30.559
Like, do you want to get married?
00:23:30.640 --> 00:23:32.079
Do you think marriage is a good thing?
00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:33.519
Yeah, I do want to get married.
00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:39.279
And I'm actually in a relationship right now, so this is the first time that I ever really thought about marriage and kids and stuff.
00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:49.599
So, from my experience, bro, I do like I do want to change and become somebody that can uh be a husband and be a father one day.
00:23:49.680 --> 00:23:49.839
Yeah.
00:23:50.000 --> 00:23:55.920
But my overall thoughts on it is just find a person that makes you feel something, bro.
00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:56.880
Like, yeah.
00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:01.200
It's way deeper than social media and intimacy, bro.
00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:04.559
Like, you gotta find a person that clicks with your inner soul, bro.
00:24:05.200 --> 00:24:08.400
And from my experience, that's kind of what I'm dealing with right now.
00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:08.960
Yeah.
00:24:09.279 --> 00:24:10.559
And I I definitely love that.
00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:16.640
And I think it's it's very important at the same time, you know, over time people change, right?
00:24:16.960 --> 00:24:23.039
And so this is why it's like, man, you know, if you had a situation where it's every five, so it's not every six months.
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:26.079
You gotta, you gotta be willing to work through adversity, right?
00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:26.960
Of course.
00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:32.880
But it's just interesting to me because it's like, you know, you truly get to know someone as time goes on.
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:37.839
You're in a relationship, you you you live with them, you're around them longer, you know.
00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:48.079
And I I think that marriage scares a lot of people, mainly men, but maybe women too, because it's one of the few times in life where you're asked to make a lifetime commitment.
00:24:48.240 --> 00:24:51.920
Definitely, you know, and so you really gotta pick the right one.
00:24:52.160 --> 00:24:53.920
Same thing goes for for women too, right?
00:24:54.640 --> 00:25:01.119
But some of these people out here are good at at faking, good at showing you one thing and and really hiding who they truly are, right?
00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:14.880
So if you if you trusted someone enough to marry them, and then three, four years later you start to find out this isn't what I signed up for, it's like you're stuck.
00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:25.119
And so, like you said, for better or or for worse, but if it turned into something that you never were shown, you never had the chance to say, uh, I don't know about that.
00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:27.359
It's like, is it is is that fair?
00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:30.640
Is it should should you be forced to to stay, you know, forever?
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:32.079
Or should you have a way to get?
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:36.319
And I know like there's divorce and all that, but yeah, you know, it's just it's just interesting to me.
00:25:36.400 --> 00:25:44.720
Like, if there was some sort of setup to where, okay, we're we're gonna both try and do this, and every five years we both gotta agree to to keep keep going, right?
00:25:44.799 --> 00:25:50.640
Yeah, you know, I don't I don't necessarily think that's a like a crazy idea, right?
00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:51.759
I don't think so.
00:25:52.000 --> 00:25:55.920
I ain't trying to be 10 years down the line and not unhappy and we sleep in a separate room.
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:56.960
In separate rooms, yeah.
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:00.480
Yeah, that's that's just not not ideal, right?
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:29.599
And so, and there is the factor too where, you know, if you know that you are in a great relationship, you know, and you know that if your partner isn't happy at the end of whatever term it is, it it could create a situation where both sides are like trying to go out of their way to make sure the other side is happy, as opposed to be becoming content and not keeping yourself up, not working as hard to make your partner happy as you did like before you got married, right?
00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:38.400
So if there is a more incentive to ensure that the person that you're getting in your marriage is the person that you fell in love with, I think that would be helpful.
00:26:38.880 --> 00:26:39.680
Facts, facts.
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:41.440
That's it for crazy or not.
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:42.720
Um, great conversation.
00:26:42.880 --> 00:26:46.160
Is there anything else that you would want to touch on?
00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:50.400
Any other lessons you learned, anything else that you think could help the overall dating market?
00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:54.799
Um just trust your partner, bro.
00:26:54.880 --> 00:26:59.279
Like I feel like as we all human, bro, and we all go through our own issues.
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:04.559
And as men, you know, speaking for all men, I'm sure none of us talk about our problems, man.
00:27:04.640 --> 00:27:04.960
No.
00:27:05.200 --> 00:27:10.960
But find you somebody that makes you okay with being emotional.
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:16.640
If yeah, you know if you get what I'm saying, like you don't gotta be overly emotional, but find somebody that is your safe space for you to talk.
00:27:16.960 --> 00:27:19.200
Because it's not okay to bottle things up, you know.
00:27:19.359 --> 00:27:24.000
And mainly whatever God you believe in, keep it in the center of your relationship.
00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:25.039
Yeah, I love that.
00:27:25.200 --> 00:27:31.680
And I I do think that as men, as long as you're striving to be your best self, trying to be the best man that you possibly can.
00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:33.200
I think women do respect that.
00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:48.400
And I think if you're vulnerable and and you confide in your woman as you're working on your goals and being aspirational and building, I think that's the best situation to share, you know, maybe your issues or your problems with with your girl, right?
00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:53.759
When you're if your girl doesn't respect you and then you try to be vulnerable, I don't think that that's gonna work.
00:27:53.920 --> 00:28:01.359
Yeah, I think as men, we try to like impress women with material things a lot of times where we need to be trying to gain their respect.
00:28:01.440 --> 00:28:04.240
I think a lot of these girls right now is just don't respect a lot of men.
00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:05.839
No, they don't, because they could do it themselves.
00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:06.160
Right.
00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:07.440
They they could do it themselves.
00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:08.160
Exactly.
00:28:08.319 --> 00:28:09.200
Very well said.
00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:11.519
I I totally agree with that.
00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:21.920
And so as men, if your mindset kind of flips to okay, I'm attracted to whoever it is, how do I gain her respect?
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:29.759
I think that'll take you further than okay, I need to buy, you know, this fancy car, I need to buy her this bag, take her to this fancy dinner, because then she'll like me.
00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:30.880
I don't think that's the case.
00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:33.680
I think if she if she respects you, you're good.
00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:37.759
It's gonna become an expectation, and then sometimes you might not be able to uphold that expectation.
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:38.640
Uh, yeah.
00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:39.519
Yeah, exactly.
00:28:39.759 --> 00:28:40.160
Exactly.
00:28:40.240 --> 00:28:46.160
And you don't want to set that expectation up front and build the foundation of your relationship on like something that you can't maintain.
00:28:46.640 --> 00:28:46.960
Facts.
00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:47.359
Yeah.
00:28:47.519 --> 00:28:48.240
I love that, man.
00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:50.240
So I just takes a conversation.
00:28:50.400 --> 00:28:50.720
Yeah.
00:28:50.960 --> 00:28:52.079
Anything else?
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:54.079
I think we touched base on everything, man.
00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:54.720
All right, cool, man.
00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:56.160
Hey, I appreciate you coming in, man.
00:28:56.319 --> 00:28:57.519
I appreciate you for having me, man.
00:28:57.680 --> 00:28:57.920
Cool.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:28:59.359
Let's fix modern dating.
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:00.559
I'm your host, Will Scott.
00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:02.400
Hey, we'll see you guys next time.
