Why You're Procrastinating-and How You Can Move Forward

Tyona Vallejo: Hello and welcome to Enough In Evolving Podcast. I'm your host, Tyona Vallejo, master certified life coach and mindfulness expert, helping you reclaim confidence, break through unhelpful patterns and manifest the relationships and life you desire. Now let's get started. Hello friends, welcome back to the podcast. And if you're joining for the first time, thank you so much for being here. I am always excited about the topics that I come with because I choose them. And I am very excited to talk about this topic today: procrastination. It's something we all experience. Now here's why I'm so excited about talking about procrastination today. Because I'm going to share the real reason that you may be experiencing procrastination. Maybe you've been thinking, why can't I just get myself to do this one thing? and feeling so frustrated, maybe feeling critical of yourself, believing that you're just being lazy or that you're just inconsistent. Now if that is you, here's what I want you to know. Number one, procrastination is something that you are experiencing. It's not proof that you are lazy, incapable, or undisciplined. Hear me in that. Procrastination is actually the mind trying to protect you from a perceived threat. Not necessarily a physical threat, more of an emotional or psychological threat, typically. Our brains are naturally inclined to move away from any potential threat. So if you are embarking on some kind of risk taking, then of course your brain is gonna want to avoid that and move in the opposite direction. For example, if you're starting to date and you know dating brings up a lot of emotional vulnerability and you have a fear of being rejected, then of course your brain is going to pull up a big stop, a hard stop for this, And it's going to be challenging for you to try to move forward and get that dating app, get that profile up on that dating app. Now, if you're trying to build business or say write a book or perhaps embark on some other creative endeavor, then you may be feeling the fear of being misunderstood or possibly afraid to fail publicly. And so your brain, your nervous system is shutting down in regards to any actions that would require you To take a risk in that direction. This can even apply to Having difficult conversations with loved ones. Maybe you're avoiding sitting down and being authentic with your partner or someone else you love because you're worried about what their reaction will be. Or you're afraid of making the wrong decision in sharing whatever you're wanting to share, then of course You're going to experience a little urge to avoid and procrastinate. These are all examples of how our brain is trying to protect us from potential threats, perceived threats, and we call it procrastination. The problem is that procrastination, the habit of procrastination, often holds a lot of shame around it. I know I used to criticize myself for procrastinating, for having a habit of procrastinating in my business and even in my relationship. And so Often I would just believe I was being lazy or inconsistent or often think that maybe I just didn't have what it takes. And then falling into the belief that I just need more discipline. And maybe that was true a little bit, but maybe not as much as I was thinking I needed. Maybe that's you. Maybe you're believing that you need more discipline when in actuality you may need something else. Here's what I learned. When I started understanding the nervous system and what was actually happening in my mind and my body when I was afraid to move forward and do something, then it all started to come clear. When your brain perceives a threat, your nervous system activates already into a stress response, which looks like fight, flight, or freeze. In my case, it was often freeze, which is the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system. And that looked like brain fog. It looked like exhaustion or dr waking up with dread. until I learned how to shift my energy and support my nervous system. at the end of this episode, I'm going to share five action steps that you can take that will break through procrastination. And help you regulate your nervous system as well. Now, we are often our worst critics, and that self-criticism that we might be feeling when we're procrastinating, or that we might be experiencing when we're procrastinating, can lead to a lot of tension in our bodies. Our bodies are always listening to our mind. And so That negative self-talk can often create internal threat, which looks like tightness in the body, maybe guarding in your shoulders, maybe clinching in your jaw, maybe tightness in your belly. Or a slumping in your posture. And this internal threat is leading to more of that pattern of avoidance because it's signaling in your mind and your body that you aren't safe and we need to protect. And then of course you're going to avoid taking any. risk or challenge because you're already in a state of fear or anxiousness. so then the pattern of avoidance or procrastination is interpreted by you as maybe something's wrong with me. Leading to the question, why can't I just ever get things done? Why can't I do the thing that I want to do? What am I missing? What must be wrong with me? If you're caught in this self-pressure cycle, I want you to hear this. There is nothing wrong with you. You are simply a human experiencing threat, having the experience of a nervous system that is dregulated. And not feeling safe to act. You are capable human being. having a natural response to your mind's perceptions. I once worked with a client who was struggling to stay consistent in her business. She kept starting and stopping, starting and stopping, and couldn't understand why. she was caught in the habit of procrastination and couldn't understand why she couldn't change it. Until we started working together, and she discovered two things that helped her break free. The two things that were keeping her stuck in the pattern of procrastination and inconsistency were number one. The internal pressure she was creating in her own mind from her self criticism. She wasn't feeling safe because she had so many thoughts, negative thoughts about herself that were creating an unsafe internal environment. leaving her nervous system in a state of stress and fear. Number two, she was avoiding her emotions. She was believing that if she were to feel her emotions, first of all, she thought, I don't have time for that. Second of all, she was thinking that she would get swallowed by them the moment that she decided to feel them. But that's not what happened. And when she was repressing her emotions, pushing them away, She was blocking her energy and her nervous system was becoming dysregulated into a state of functional freeze. You see, when the nervous system can't adapt to states of stress or emotions, then it can often get stuck in a functional freeze pattern. Diminishing the access that you have to your logical thinking mind. So of course, even though she wanted to take action, she wasn't able to access the simple solutions that would allow her to move forward in that state. after we worked together, my client was able to start to diminish some of that self-criticism by increasing her self-compassion, allowing her internal environment to feel much safer and her nervous system to start to regulate. She also learned how to process her emotions safely, where she was able to move through the energy without getting stuck in that freeze state. Both of these resulted in a huge breakthrough in her business and her personal goals. Allowing her to bust through procrastination and get things done. Positive momentum doesn't begin with more self-pressure. It begins with safety. It begins with understanding why you may be feeling unsafe and starting to soothe yourself into a more regulated nervous system. If you're ready to release self-pressure and breakthrough procrastination, I have five simple steps that will help you get there. Number one, safety, safety, safety, safety. You have to feel safe in order for you to move forward. Understanding why you're not feeling safe in the moment and normalizing that is the first step to breaking through procrastination. Number two. Name it to tame it. relabeling the procrastination habit as protection instead of. Allows you to release some of that shame around procrastination and see it for what it is. Three, make the tasks achievable and a no-brainer task. In other words, we tend to bite off more than we can chew, especially if it's something we really like or want. And so can you instead make the action steps bite size, even just nibble size? Starting to create more positive momentum forward, making them easy to complete without overwhelming your mind. And number four, move your body. If you have been in a state of functional freeze, then it can be helpful to start to do somatic movements, practices that allow that energy to start to flow. This might be some simple stretches, some dancing to your favorite music. maybe getting out and going for a walk or taking a yoga class. Any of that activity can start to move the energy and allow for the nervous system to reset. And number five, Activate the sensory motor cortex to send safety signals to the nervous system. This can be done by simply using essential oils. I have some here. Using them in your environment when you're about to sit down and work on a project, or maybe you play some beautiful, relaxing music, or maybe you create some. softer lighting if you're feeling a little bit anxious and if you want to down regulate the nervous system. There are many options here to help. And I would love to hear from you if you try any of these. Let me know what it is that you've been procrastinating at, what you're most excited to implement in these steps. And if you loved this episode, be sure to send it out to a friend that can also benefit. Thank you so much for spending time with me this week. It's always a joy to connect. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Have a lovely week. And remember, you are already enough and you are evolving. Have a great week. If you're listening to this and you're recognizing yourself in these patterns, this is exactly the work I do inside my coaching. This isn't something you have to figure out alone. If you're ready to feel more confident, grounded, and self-trusting, I'd love to support you. Check out the show notes to book a consultation coaching call today.