How to Have Stress-Reducing Conversations

Stress is a very real part of our lives. How we manage stress can have healthy or unhealthy consequences. Fortunately, one tool we should be using to soothe stress in one another is stress-reducing conversations. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer, Craig Stickling, and Brian Sutter explain how to have these purposeful conversations.

Show notes:

What is stress-related conversation?

• A conversation that has at its purpose the intention of soothing the emotions in a stress heightened individual and thereby reducing their stress levels.

What qualities are present in stress-reducing conversation?

• Active listening, attending presence, non-judgement, non-criticizing, empathetic agreement.

What should your posture be for being a stress-reducing partner in a conversation?

• Have an eye towards being on the same team with the other.

What are some different applied contexts for stress-reducing conversations?

• Marriage: Look for them with your spouse if you are married.

• Family: Look for them with your kids if you are a parent.

• Neighbors: Look for them with community members.

What good are stress-reducing conversations beyond reducing stress?

• Stress-reducing conversations build the safety to eventually step into conversations with other purposes such as conflict resolution or corrective conversations.

How do I carry out stress-reducing conversations when I disagree with the person that has heightened stress?

• Separate the matter of disagreement from the person. Connect with the person first. Then when safety is achieved and we are on a team together, voicing disagreement can happen in effective ways.

What makes stress-reducing conversations difficult?

• Fixating on accuracy.

• Fixating on solutions.

• Inability to detect emotions.

• Inability to stay present with a person.

What does it mean to be intentional with stress-reducing conversations?

• Have conversations with the express purpose to be stress relieving. Select topics thoughtfully that you can be "on the same team" about.

What is at stake if loved ones don't engage each other in stress-reducing conversations?

• We might look for stress-reducing conversations from unsafe sources such as AI or other people.