Missing Madonna - with Clive

Tribe Sober - inspiring an alcohol-free life!

This week my guest is tribe member Clive Vanderwagen.  Clive is a business and leadership coach who is also a wine expert!  

In this Episode

• Clive’s father offered him a taste of wine at quite an early age in an effort to make it “less exciting” but looking back Clive feels this was a bit naïve and if he was ever a parent he would probably share with his kids that he had struggled with alcohol himself and that it should be treated with caution.
• Educating our kids about alcohol is SO tricky but one thing is for sure – it’s easier to do it if we don’t drink – it’s no good saying one thing and then modelling another as we open our nightly bottle of wine!
• Like many of us Clive felt invincible when he was younger and the fact that he became dependent on alcohol took him by surpise. Alcohol dependency tends to sneak up on us over the years and its only when we try to cut down or give up that we realise we have a problem!
• That’s why regular breaks are so important – if you want to try 21 alcohol free days with online, community and audio support then just sign up for Accelerate
• I could really identify with Clive when he said he went to AA to see everyone chain smoking and talking about their rock bottoms and just didn’t feel he fitted in! He just didn’t feel like an alcoholic because he wasn’t drinking in the morning, crashing cars, losing jobs etc
• The thing is we don’t have to wait until we hit “rock bottom” before we make a change
• Like most of us Clive tried “moderation” and we agreed that our “drinking neural pathway” will always be there so once you’ve crossed a line with your drinking moderation is no longer an option.
• Clive talked about being triggered by a sunny day and the thought of drinking rose – he has a sensible approach to his triggers – he just recognizes them, gets a bit curious about them and then lets them pass without acting on them
• One way of dealing with those triggers is to create another ritual to replace it – for example if Clive started enjoying a glass on AF bubbly everytime he sat drinking in the sunshine then his subconscious would gradually create a new and less harmful trigger.
• Clive’s Madonna Story was a classic example of how we expect alcohol to enhance our experiences – in Clive’s case he ended up almost blacking out and missing most of a concert he’d been looking forward to for months!
• Clive has made the joyful discovery that “Clive doesn’t need alcohol to be Clive” – he can still be the life and soul of the party when stone cold sober!
• 11 months into his sobriety Clive feels he's regained control of his life and reduced his anxiety -he feels strong and is proud to be alcohol
• Clive ended our interview by reading his stunning Goodbye to Alcohol letter which he found a powerful and cathartic experience 
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Till Next Week

Janet x