Heart Centered Leadership with Ryan Hartley

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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome, I'm your host Paula Skatalone, the founder of Transformative Harmonics, the podcast that offers listeners a synthesis of ancient wisdom and modern science.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Good morning, welcome back to Transformative Harmonics.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I am thrilled to be with you today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Today I have such a special guest that it's been on the books for a while and I'm glad we made this happen in the new year and I love kicking off the new year with the next
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[SPEAKER_00]: of what I'm going to speak about on this program.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like each time I arrive, there's something else that we're going to add to help you continue to grow and stretch.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So as always, I'm going to invite you before you start to listen to slow down for a moment if you're not driving.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But just begin to take in your surroundings, give yourself a moment for your nervous system to shift
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[SPEAKER_00]: So much of our day and time, we're in doing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it doesn't leave room for taking in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So we'll do that together as we arrive, and just begin to feel the back body and underneath the feet.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And welcome, welcome.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So today, I am here with someone who is a fellow Brit.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm half British people don't know, even though my last name's got a little piece.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm here with a fellow Brit and came across his podcast because I had been listening to Richard Rudd from a couple different podcasts, and I think that's how I found you Ryan.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna go ahead and introduce him and start things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Ryan Hartley is a devoted disciple of love, and a champion of heart-centered leadership.
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[SPEAKER_00]: As the founder and chief heart officer of always better than yesterday, he helps people live from the heart and lead with love, supporting individuals, teams, and communities to reconnect with who they truly are.
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[SPEAKER_00]: a former police leader with 12 years of service, Ryan brings grounded wisdom and emotional depth to his work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Since leaving policing in 2020, he's dedicated himself to guiding leaders through uncertainty change and growth, with steadiness and care.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He is also the host of the always better than yesterday podcast, streamed in over 140 countries
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[SPEAKER_00]: through conversation coaching and community, Ryan creates safe spaces where people feel seen, heard, and empowered to lead from love, not performance.
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[SPEAKER_00]: At his core, Ryan is devoted to helping others feel clearer, lighter, and more connected than when he met them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome, Ryan.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, really great to connect.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I had no idea what you're of British descendants, so really great to connect out.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I just yeah, timing is a is a wonderful thing isn't it such a universal thing that I haven't always been in harmony with.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So thank you for playing that back to me in this moment as a great remembrance of how far we come.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The Ralph R. I've come.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I just, I feel like it's on the heart to minds of everyone right now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What does it mean to move from the head to the heart?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What does it mean to lead with the heart?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I have to say with your podcast, meeting you and the brief timely hand together,
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like you have a way of breaking things down for people to make it really tangible where people can take direct action in their daily life and take this concept moving from the head to the heart and put it into practice.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I was so excited to bring you on to start to talk about that today.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's do it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Alright, so my first question though because people in my community don't know you yet is to hear a little about your story because you come from please service you had a it sounds like you experience awakening around the same time I did in 2019 and now you're doing this
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I love to hear a little about your story and what evolved for you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'll give the story up until 2019.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So raised in the southwest of England, single parent family, my mum and my dad had separated when I was about six months old.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, just always being fascinated with human beings.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So the the topic in school
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[SPEAKER_01]: psychology which is just it's basically people watching people watching people observing and that's me all over and I've been with my wife since I was 15 we met at school so she my child has three heart we have two children together and we went on honeymoon to Hawaii which is a big part of the later stories I should we're talking about that
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[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, in 2019 my wife and I were both pursuing, shall we say a heart, a passion, the heart work as I describe it, on top of day job and on top of having two children, and that calls us to go in in separate ways.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We call each other a lot of misery and suffering.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then that led me to the 2019 moment where, yeah, just a complete heart-setting fire awakening.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And ever since then, really, you know, been devoted to understanding and helping others experience that, that heart burning, that heart awakening and, and not just
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[SPEAKER_01]: that intensity, but that sustained expression of that peace and that love and that knowing that we if you've ever been through that kind of feeling to bring that into our everyday expression and experiences.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so you've walked this path on your own path through it through your own opening and now sharing it with others, which so many of us are doing to help them along.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like handing them a rope and you've kind of acknowledged the the practical as we'd see is which are helping people well.
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[SPEAKER_01]: After University I went into the police service.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I was a civilian.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I used to work in the dispatch office.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I used to take 999 calls and dispatch officers on a radio, commandment, control type things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then I moved across to become an analyst.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So
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[SPEAKER_01]: had kind of really had these grounding experiences as a young man, which is about real kind of emergency situations, calm under pressure, really looking at the fragility of the human experience and its highs and its lows, but also patterned me, pattern recognition, understanding, meaning behind things, and then
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[SPEAKER_01]: my understanding as of good analysts is that you can influence people with that insight in that meaning.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So it's not just about presenting the numbers but really getting to, well this is what it means and then this is what it means for what we should do or decision-making.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So really enjoyed the business improvement side of things, but along that leadership journey I really fell in love with coaching.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The essence of everything I do is the always better
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[SPEAKER_01]: concept, but nothing, I love nothing more than to help that through the power of people and coaching.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Don't get me wrong, I love a spreadsheet, I love processed improvement, but when you get to journey alongside people and leave them light so and more that they can be themselves for this expression and be of service to other people, that's it for me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I've been doing that now since 2019, 2020, and there always be evidence that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So changing people's lives, helping people to bring the full expression of themselves forward.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it looks like companies as well to want to bring their message forward, which is beautiful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so in this, it sounds like the tools that you learned in your trade,
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[SPEAKER_00]: you're able to use the pulling out of what's important.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, much of the harm.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then messaging.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, journey is is pointing as you let us so beautifully before we joined, which is in this moment, what do you have?
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[SPEAKER_01]: That is the essence of heart-sensitive leadership is bringing you your heart and serve with what you have.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not over-gomplicated these things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So my job is really simple and easy, but I meet people because we're not looking to add anything to them and to begin with.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, let's meet you where you are and see what you've got, shall we?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And what do you think gets in the way of people showing up with what they've got?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What do you see?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, from my observation, you know,
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[SPEAKER_01]: when we really connect with our gifts, our skills, and our talents.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Some people don't know that other people can't do those things.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like my daughter, she can find a rhythm and a beat and she can do things with her dancing body that I have no idea how she does.
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[SPEAKER_01]: My wife can sing, she can sing so beautifully.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I can just pull out a quote from a book that I've read three years ago.
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[SPEAKER_01]: These things are universal, not everybody can do them, and yet we just assume that because we can do it, we can do it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So something that gets in the way I really think is just not really knowing that that is valuable to some people, not everybody can do that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think if we really do live in community, we wouldn't have to be great at everything.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We just have to...
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[SPEAKER_01]: exchange what likes people up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, you know, I think one of the downsides is as well, and I use the coach at a wonderful lady cook at Serena who does healing and meditation for young people.
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[SPEAKER_01]: On social media, she's surrounded by thousands of people who do the same thing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And she's thinking, right, what can I do?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I bet if you go to the school gate, you're that one.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You are the one person that represents the, the hippy meditation teacher.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, they're not looking at Instagram at the people over in Australia and America.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You are that for the people around you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think sometimes the social media aspect of comparison makes us forget that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It takes us away from just being that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it draws us into who we have to be to fit in based on what's already out there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it's so interesting that you mentioned the piece about yourself pulling out the books because when I was listening to your podcast,
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[SPEAKER_00]: that was what I loved about the episodes I was listening to because they were the statements and some of them I stopped I was walking and I stopped so I could write it down because you know so so that is cool that you mentioned that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That we all come in with gifts.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I speak about that a lot in my program and what are those gifts and how do we bring them forward and trust that the world is going to say, I'm so glad you're here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad you're here, I'm so glad you're bringing these gifts to the world.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I feel like we have a similar mission in that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And why can we sit with that?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Can we sit with the fact that it can be gift without judging it?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like without going, or who does that make me, who to say it's a gift, or who do you think the giver is?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Who do you think is the giver that gave you the gift?
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[SPEAKER_01]: So when we really could remove that essence while the humility is like, well I shall bring this and humble service of the other children of the divine shall we say.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, well, it does bring us into that word service, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What is my service?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not what am I going to get from this?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And now it is the one of the paradigm shifts and we will talk next about.
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[SPEAKER_00]: what this is that we're in the middle of but the paradigm shift of how can I bring my gifts to be of service.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so it's a different way of living.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's it's more community-oriented, more collaborated, and more of caretakers of one another and the planet.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So for you and how you talk about it
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[SPEAKER_00]: How do you describe this shift to the people that are in your community or that you work with?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you know, I'll be honest, so the start of my journey being a psychologist, my ethos was around mindset coaching, but I was talking about a mindset coaching with a connection with purpose and with connection with values and expression and you know, we'd read
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think the mind at its best is logical reason of all, I know, predict plan, analyse, but I don't think it's about expression and passion and care and courage and vulnerability.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think there's a deeper quality of the, and this is where I went with my journey around the heart.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I just come into this heart set of fireawaking moment and I was talking about leading with love.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And Jesus was not my king at this point.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, sure, was not my king.
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[SPEAKER_01]: He was a archetype of one of the greatest ever leaders who led with love in life.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That was how I held him at that point.
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[SPEAKER_01]: How do about arms distance?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, he was a great architect for me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I was talking about this idea of leading with love.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then I just, you know, how these things come.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes it is, the word for me was just heart set.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, if we've got a mindset and a heart set.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I started to journey around what does it mean to be a leader who leads from the heart?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And then you start to look at the qualities of heart, what what Boonoh, it's homeless, it's fullness, it's connection, it's collaboration, it's kindness, it's care, it's service, it's devotion.
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[SPEAKER_01]: On the other side of things, a mindset, you might be disciplined, you might be strategic, you might be planning, you might be logical, you know, and for me it wasn't a one is better than the other, but I felt the one came before the other.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I felt that the heart set came before mindset, because the way I would describe it is that, I don't know if you have seen the film Madagascar, but there's a bit where the penguins, they get to where they think they want to go, and they look around and go,
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[SPEAKER_01]: with this sucks.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's like the mind, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I led my life up until 2019 through my mind what I thought I should do would make me valuable and would make me successful.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it took me away from the things that really mattered most.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't who I needed to be for my wife.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't who I needed to be for my children.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was coming home late from school, from work, so I'm missing bedtimes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't pulling my weight in the home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was being more resentful than supportive in the home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I wasn't doing, I wasn't fulfilling the full right-heartly heart-centered leadership that he was saying in the world he was.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so that had to change.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that leads me to the next level of depth around heart, which is in the old scriptures.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It says the heart can be deceived beyond all things or something like that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But now I sit here with the clarity that the heart is a lens through which we can see the world.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I believe that there are two lenses.
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[SPEAKER_01]: One is a leading from love.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And another is leading for love.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I truly believe that the leading from the heart is what we all do.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's what we all do, whether we realize it or not.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I believe that we show up, either seeking the love that which we do not believe we have, deserve or worthy of or experienced.
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[SPEAKER_01]: and then we use our gifts and our skills and talents to try and justify and prove and again, that which we would deceive and under the illusion that we were not, which, hello, that was me, or we come from wholeness, from oneness, from love and gratitude in the service of other people, from love, freely giving that which we have been given ourselves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so resonates.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I use the word enoughness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like being satiated and full, what happens to us when we're satiated and full, when we know that we're taking care of, that our needs are met, that we're loved, and that's a foundational esoteric.
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[SPEAKER_00]: experience, right, that many of us in the Western world, because of the way that it's been constructed and that we were shepherded into it, we missed.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, you're very kind and gentle with your words, but I would go as far as to say that it's organized in such a way that we are convinced
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[SPEAKER_01]: and write your song and go here at this point because I have a children who I want to protect their innocence from is that they are led to unfortunately I've raised a couple of children that can see straight through propaganda and marketing now.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's like my greatest gift to them but almost really annoying because we can't watch a single advert without them going, they're trying to sell you this.
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[SPEAKER_01]: They're trying to make you feel that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But every single marketing
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[SPEAKER_01]: In Johann Hari's book, Lost Connection, he interviewed a marketing director who said that their work is at most effective when people are left feeling inadequate without the product.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That is the marketing we are receiving, all day, every day, subconsciously, you are an adequate, unless you have this.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So now we have beauty in a bottle, we have energy in a drink.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, we now have these little focus drops.
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[SPEAKER_01]: everything and this is the I'm getting I'm going on one now because you can see our passion I have but it's it is literally the the the Genesis story out which is everything has become the apple everything has become you need something outside of yourself to make you realize your fullest to be accepted and to be loved.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's a deception and I think the King Yeshua came to stand
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[SPEAKER_01]: the way our beloved children have got, that we have all that we need, that the gift is simply to live this life as the fullest expression of ourselves in service of other people.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Love God, love your neighbor, as yourself.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And they think, and you know, they're great east of commandments, but also the the lifetime of walking that path from refining our capacity and capabilities to be and do that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It sounds like really feeling into the underlying message that is embedded in the teachings and the wisdom that is underneath what was then adapted as well to influence us.
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[SPEAKER_01]: you can't be possibly inferring that things have been corrupted over time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I'm a recovering Catholic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's my Italian Catholic.
20:05.796 --> 20:12.570
[SPEAKER_00]: So I left my face as a teenager and that's when I started metaphysical path.
20:13.276 --> 20:26.555
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and then went to Buddhism and Hinduism and every single faith you can name, Sufism and Shamanism and just find a, yeah, find the, find the wisdom underneath it all.
20:26.936 --> 20:28.180
[SPEAKER_01]: We're else with a dwell.
20:29.155 --> 20:47.333
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and what I found, I mean, and then talking to you too, that I'm coming back to a reconnection with the original teachings and what those were about and how different my life would have been if I was raised with those in the first place.
20:47.313 --> 20:54.485
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, that I was worthy and that I deserve to be because you wouldn't have had the ears to hear them at that age.
20:54.505 --> 20:57.570
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, it's time to be perfect.
20:57.710 --> 20:58.452
[SPEAKER_01]: You hear it now.
20:58.492 --> 20:58.732
[SPEAKER_01]: Why?
20:58.752 --> 20:59.894
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you are prepared.
20:59.914 --> 21:00.675
[SPEAKER_01]: You are prepared.
21:00.775 --> 21:02.839
[SPEAKER_01]: Ready to do the work.
21:02.859 --> 21:03.320
[SPEAKER_00]: You hear it.
21:03.560 --> 21:08.228
[SPEAKER_01]: But I just remind you, if you just get a few more five style reviews, then maybe you'll be enough.
21:08.348 --> 21:09.490
[SPEAKER_01]: Then maybe you'll hear it.
21:11.933 --> 21:27.733
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, just made the night the night the night the night thing with this podcast that I'm loving is I I just want to send it out there And I'm really trusting that the universe is going to get it to the people who most need to hear it.
21:28.114 --> 21:28.494
[SPEAKER_01]: I agree.
21:28.514 --> 21:35.784
[SPEAKER_00]: So I appreciate that and What I would love to talk about as well.
21:36.024 --> 21:38.447
[SPEAKER_00]: Make sure that we hit on is
21:39.828 --> 22:00.099
[SPEAKER_00]: So you've been doing this and the trend or what I'm seeing from looking at your work is you're taking in men in groups and communities and offering them something that I also I feel is very much needed in our world right now.
22:00.580 --> 22:08.232
[SPEAKER_00]: I have in my private practice men, but I don't think there's
22:08.212 --> 22:19.639
[SPEAKER_00]: So I would like to hear a little about that community and what you're seeing as you've moved through from 2019 to now of what men are needing.
22:20.311 --> 22:28.121
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, my original groups were heart-centered leaders and generated self-selecting population there were women.
22:28.141 --> 22:34.410
[SPEAKER_01]: So, for four to five years, I coached 90% women.
22:34.810 --> 22:39.717
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I just started to get this group of men emerging, you know, over 2022, 2023.
22:41.900 --> 22:45.064
[SPEAKER_01]: And they actually called me into setting up my first group.
22:45.124 --> 22:49.710
[SPEAKER_01]: I never really set out with the intention of being a men's group,
22:49.690 --> 22:55.819
[SPEAKER_01]: because I had a lot of my own healing to do around masculinity.
22:56.000 --> 22:58.003
[SPEAKER_01]: What does it mean to be a man in 2026?
22:58.043 --> 23:00.927
[SPEAKER_01]: A heart-centered man at that, right?
23:01.728 --> 23:17.132
[SPEAKER_01]: I was probably what I would have interpreted as a feminine man, a very feely man, a very intuitive and very in touch with, I had to learn what
23:18.243 --> 23:20.927
[SPEAKER_01]: because I, I was rubbish with a power tool.
23:21.769 --> 23:32.566
[SPEAKER_01]: I, I'm just, there's a number of things where I've just, I would have had the perspective that I'm not a man, and not a man as opposed to I am a man.
23:32.586 --> 23:45.567
[SPEAKER_01]: And, and bear in mind, the images of the father that I'd had before being refarded by the Heavenly was one of doesn't stick around, doesn't fulfill his role, doesn't support, and those he loves can't be depended on, can't be trusted.
23:47.167 --> 23:55.573
[SPEAKER_01]: These are internalizations of a young lad who went through in his formative years without a stable, masculine presence in his life.
23:56.684 --> 24:13.004
[SPEAKER_01]: But I had plenty, they weren't always to my highest good, didn't protect the innocence within me, and the more I learned about my own archetypal journey, I became the archetypal king before I got to be the cowboy and all the beloved son.
24:13.725 --> 24:19.452
[SPEAKER_01]: As skipping those phases means that I was never prepared to be the king that serves, but wanted to be served.
24:20.393 --> 24:22.638
[SPEAKER_01]: My life became about the kingdom serves me.
24:22.658 --> 24:32.299
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't at a marriage where I thought that her responsibility was to serve me and make me happy and I just had it all wrong or backwards.
24:32.720 --> 24:36.107
[SPEAKER_01]: And I got to the point where I'd suffered enough of living that life.
24:37.572 --> 24:45.721
[SPEAKER_01]: But luckily the marriage was still intact and then I went on my own journey and then there's huge amount of grace and compassion that you can have for you just don't know what you don't know.
24:46.602 --> 24:59.576
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so go back and re-look to some of those things around the messages I didn't finalized and it put me on a hop-on-op-on-o-type hop-on-op-on-o forgiveness part of healing that.
24:59.596 --> 25:07.444
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I had to look into and I get to the other men in a second but I wouldn't be there without
25:07.728 --> 25:09.511
[SPEAKER_01]: At what was the man that I had become?
25:10.993 --> 25:13.096
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I become this heart-centered guy.
25:13.116 --> 25:18.604
[SPEAKER_01]: I had become so comfortable with feelings, expression, being vulnerable, being courageous.
25:19.284 --> 25:21.548
[SPEAKER_01]: And then there were some things I needed to add to that.
25:21.788 --> 25:29.199
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, a little bit of, yeah, just a little bit of, for me, grounded presence.
25:29.659 --> 25:36.469
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'd been very emotional, which meant that I could be up and down.
25:37.563 --> 25:40.246
[SPEAKER_01]: healing around the somatic level of healing.
25:40.527 --> 25:54.664
[SPEAKER_01]: So I got in the gym, I started to do breath work, I started to do Vim Hoffa and Ice Barfs, and my leadership, my presence just started to change, become far more grounded, become far more safe to be around.
25:57.307 --> 26:03.334
[SPEAKER_01]: In terms of the way I would just speak in my emotions, you know, safe to be around as in, because I wasn't the chaotic one anymore.
26:03.314 --> 26:13.195
[SPEAKER_01]: And this really just led me to being a bit more of an integrated whole balance, both heart and mind, strong and kind and soft.
26:14.598 --> 26:16.041
[SPEAKER_01]: So this is the journey I was on.
26:17.033 --> 26:20.060
[SPEAKER_01]: And I guess that attracted other men in the life that were interested in those things.
26:21.142 --> 26:22.806
[SPEAKER_01]: So they encouraged me to start this group.
26:23.528 --> 26:28.319
[SPEAKER_01]: Initially, I thought, well, I'm not teaching them stuff, but it's about the way it's about embodiment.
26:28.900 --> 26:30.343
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I call it a council.
26:30.804 --> 26:36.477
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I think there's some akin to Proverbs, which says about a good man succeeds with wise council.
26:37.199 --> 26:57.182
[SPEAKER_01]: and that's what I seek to provide is, is men good counsel and I'm not the only source of that counsel because the thing that men really need is not face to face, in my experience at least, is not necessarily the face to face talks me about your emotions, but the whistle while you work, the shoulders are shoulder.
26:57.162 --> 27:05.453
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think when you do that, you have a man open up, he can connect with his heart, he can connect with his emotions, but the next bit he wants is a practical step forward.
27:05.813 --> 27:07.676
[SPEAKER_01]: Now that we've talked about it, what am I going to do about it?
27:08.336 --> 27:13.964
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and sometimes the feminine in my circle who's, they just want to feel seen and heard.
27:13.984 --> 27:16.527
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't want a solution, they just want to feel seen and heard.
27:17.048 --> 27:25.819
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, the men don't really want to be seen and heard, they just want the solution, but in feeling seen and heard, they loosen up the inattention, which is,
27:26.457 --> 27:39.759
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not just me, maybe I'm not broken, because if society looks at our men as if they need fixing the underlying implication of something that needs to be fixed as it must mean that it's broken.
27:41.262 --> 27:43.285
[SPEAKER_01]: And no man wants to.
27:44.159 --> 27:46.462
[SPEAKER_01]: have that as his core identity.
27:47.564 --> 28:05.290
[SPEAKER_01]: And he will, and if he believes that he'll take his brokenness to everything of the world in the hope that it fixes him, whether that be the woman, whether that be the drugs, the alcohol, the business, the job, the cars, the status,
28:06.755 --> 28:09.539
[SPEAKER_01]: it is a super slow comes back to that illusion.
28:09.739 --> 28:16.828
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you coming from a whole heart or a deceived heart that is under the illusion that you lack in your inadequate and your unworthy.
28:18.030 --> 28:22.475
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's a lot to compress there but in essence what a man really needs right now.
28:22.516 --> 28:36.694
[SPEAKER_01]: They need good men around them to challenge them to remind them who they truly are, remind them what they're here to do
28:36.674 --> 28:45.227
[SPEAKER_01]: There's no real destination, you know, this is, this is a life journey, you know, and to journey with a good set of brothers, I come from a university background.
28:45.567 --> 28:49.734
[SPEAKER_01]: There are certain people that if I hung around with right now, the core behaviour would be alcohol.
28:50.675 --> 28:58.547
[SPEAKER_01]: And does that in my current life situation get me to where I want to go and be who I want to be?
28:58.747 --> 29:06.699
[SPEAKER_01]: If not, most people want to either, you know, live a good life or improve their life, well, surround yourself with other people who are doing the same.
29:07.300 --> 29:19.479
[SPEAKER_01]: And then what happens is, if this phrase, if you're the average of the five people you surround yourself with, if you imagine, this is the average, and for those that listen, I'm putting my hand out flat, if we fall, if we go above that standard, right?
29:19.499 --> 29:21.582
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the crabs in their bucket mentality.
29:21.562 --> 29:29.934
[SPEAKER_01]: you start to grow, you start to heal, you start to transcend existing awareness levels, people start to go, who are you?
29:30.735 --> 29:33.399
[SPEAKER_01]: It almost makes them uncomfortable so they pull you back down, right?
29:34.280 --> 29:35.542
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what happens if you go on your own.
29:35.962 --> 29:42.511
[SPEAKER_01]: You go it alone, you start changing, transforming, you're going to scare the people, because they love you for who you are, not who you're becoming.
29:43.353 --> 29:49.341
[SPEAKER_01]: And with a group of men, if you fall short of who you are and what you're capable of,
29:50.536 --> 30:13.270
[SPEAKER_01]: They pick you up, they say, come on, Bara, come on, Bara, you got this, you got to make not today, you just come on, we got you, let's go, like, come on, and that is invaluable, because if life is a series of crossroads, every single interaction decision point is a web of new possibilities.
30:13.250 --> 30:22.112
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, those good grip of men will lead you onto a net positive and get you far closer to who you have the potential of becoming.
30:22.463 --> 30:23.605
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
30:23.625 --> 30:24.486
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
30:24.787 --> 30:33.021
[SPEAKER_00]: It's, um, when we feel that support of the group behind us, we can move mountains really.
30:33.041 --> 30:34.022
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
30:35.244 --> 30:35.565
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
30:35.825 --> 30:39.211
[SPEAKER_00]: This is knowing that we have that sense of belonging, camaraderie.
30:40.152 --> 30:42.556
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, and so many are isolated.
30:42.596 --> 30:44.560
[SPEAKER_00]: So many men are isolated.
30:45.101 --> 30:47.745
[SPEAKER_01]: Is one of my favorite teachings from Yeshua?
30:48.012 --> 30:52.440
[SPEAKER_01]: No greater, no greater love has man than to lay diet down his life for those that he loves.
30:53.582 --> 30:58.790
[SPEAKER_01]: Many men do not know what is worthy of them laying their lives down for.
30:59.291 --> 31:03.539
[SPEAKER_01]: And luckily, in 2006, they haven't got to go off and actually lay down their life, right?
31:04.019 --> 31:09.649
[SPEAKER_01]: But if it came to it, what in your life would call that warrior out of you?
31:10.270 --> 31:16.125
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you have something or someone that is going to pull you out of your self-centeredness?
31:16.626 --> 31:21.158
[SPEAKER_01]: Because the world has taught you to be that way, everything's built for our comfort and our pleasure.
31:21.931 --> 31:47.922
[SPEAKER_01]: what is going to pull that warrior out of you so that you may demonstrate your love and brother I'm not going to sit here and say you've got to be at one of your feelings and be able to speak like a I'm not saying that but I'm saying can you be an actement of the love that you have in your heart and demonstrate it by showing up and laying down your life whether that is a devotional path your mission your purpose your sacrifice
31:47.902 --> 31:49.707
[SPEAKER_01]: What's bringing that out of you?
31:50.088 --> 31:52.714
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you haven't connected with that yet, it's time.
31:53.376 --> 31:56.725
[SPEAKER_01]: It's time to go and ask the question.
31:57.166 --> 32:01.978
[SPEAKER_01]: What is worthy of laying down my life?
32:03.308 --> 32:16.423
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like that's drawing out this natural, we think about how the compliments of the year in the year is tapping into that complimentary piece that we need both.
32:17.184 --> 32:21.830
[SPEAKER_00]: We need both in our lives, our children need both, the world needs both.
32:22.551 --> 32:26.295
[SPEAKER_01]: I really liked what you've said that because if we look at that in a masculine feminine,
32:26.275 --> 32:33.586
[SPEAKER_01]: good women, challenge men, and what they do is they pull out that character and capacity within the man, right?
32:33.626 --> 32:35.969
[SPEAKER_01]: It's just the magnetic force and attraction between.
32:36.530 --> 32:47.446
[SPEAKER_01]: But I was so immature or insecure that I took all of those challenges and it felt personal, it felt like she didn't love me, felt like she didn't appreciate me, she didn't understand.
32:48.347 --> 32:51.912
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, she was calling me higher,
32:51.892 --> 32:55.642
[SPEAKER_01]: And I didn't have the eyes to seal the ears to hear that that's what it looked like.
32:55.682 --> 32:56.705
[SPEAKER_01]: It just veiled in.
32:57.808 --> 32:59.352
[SPEAKER_01]: Gripes, complaints, and moans.
32:59.713 --> 33:03.965
[SPEAKER_01]: But you said at the very start earlier, they're great feminine, the great mother.
33:04.426 --> 33:06.913
[SPEAKER_01]: She is both beauty and destruction.
33:06.893 --> 33:16.745
[SPEAKER_01]: and that doesn't literally mean she's going to destroy you, but there's going to be an energy that means that there's always a time and a season for new growth.
33:18.247 --> 33:30.943
[SPEAKER_01]: And brothers, you step up, let's go, let's bring, you know, I look around, I think, kind of, I've built such a wonderful life of my wife and yet all she does is look at where we can go next, I might
33:30.923 --> 33:42.342
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm lucky that I've been on this journey with my wife for six years.
33:42.422 --> 33:47.110
[SPEAKER_01]: These are original conversations when we really needed them.
33:47.090 --> 33:49.774
[SPEAKER_01]: I'd have loved to have had these proactive conversations.
33:50.095 --> 34:10.245
[SPEAKER_01]: I've gone on to have podcast conversations with some of the world's leading relationship, authors, Dr. Gary Chapman of the Five, Love Languages, Dr. John Gray, some wonderful people, and I'd love to have had those resources sooner, but I had them when I needed to have them, and what it had was my heart was willing to do something different.
34:10.225 --> 34:11.827
[SPEAKER_01]: That's all it comes down to.
34:11.847 --> 34:30.934
[SPEAKER_01]: These podcasts, these learnings, these teachings, they're all great information and knowledge, but if I could waver one, it's about can I really gain a thirst and a desire to put these into practice because that's when we really feel the power of their potential and transformation.
34:30.914 --> 34:33.899
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, so I have wonderful conversations with my wife.
34:34.079 --> 34:36.823
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm no longer taking things personally.
34:36.943 --> 34:38.846
[SPEAKER_01]: More often than not, I'm not taking things personally.
34:39.427 --> 34:46.478
[SPEAKER_01]: And we can really just get ever closer to that divine union between the Yeshua and his good lady.
34:46.818 --> 34:47.660
[SPEAKER_00]: Beautiful.
34:47.680 --> 34:48.501
[SPEAKER_00]: Beautiful.
34:48.920 --> 35:05.562
[SPEAKER_00]: So the relationship with if your in relationship or the path to relationship is where the work everything comes together right and those those really practical
35:05.542 --> 35:08.812
[SPEAKER_00]: questions of, do I feel safe in relationship?
35:08.912 --> 35:12.482
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I relate to the person sitting across from me?
35:12.503 --> 35:15.592
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I create space for conversation?
35:15.692 --> 35:19.804
[SPEAKER_00]: You you mentioned in one of your episodes curiosity.
35:20.763 --> 35:25.271
[SPEAKER_00]: as an essential feature of coming into the heart?
35:25.291 --> 35:27.095
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and leading from the heart.
35:27.115 --> 35:30.481
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because in terms of polarity, the mind thinks it already knows.
35:31.142 --> 35:33.767
[SPEAKER_01]: And why would you be curious if you already know?
35:34.228 --> 35:40.780
[SPEAKER_01]: So the very essence of being in a curious state means that you're not coming to the world from the egos
35:40.760 --> 35:41.601
[SPEAKER_01]: knowingness.
35:41.662 --> 35:55.545
[SPEAKER_01]: I know everything, you know, my my son's a great example of this, like he's he's 13 and he's got to the defiance stage where he thinks that he knows all, and therefore he's not curious, and my can't force him to be high there.
35:56.993 --> 35:59.416
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, how good have you thought about this?
35:59.457 --> 36:00.218
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, no, it's right.
36:00.238 --> 36:00.538
[SPEAKER_01]: I've got it.
36:00.558 --> 36:00.879
[SPEAKER_01]: I've got it.
36:01.079 --> 36:01.539
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm okay.
36:01.920 --> 36:03.362
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to go and have to learn by example.
36:03.402 --> 36:07.147
[SPEAKER_01]: You're going to go and have to learn by I am not your teacher.
36:07.228 --> 36:08.129
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and it's funny.
36:08.169 --> 36:19.525
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I've had some of the great spiritual teachers on my podcast, you know, the likes of Richard Red of Genki's, the likes of Dr. Bruce Lipton, the likes of Heart Math Institute and my greatest spiritual teachers.
36:19.505 --> 36:22.449
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm a dad, my wife, and my kids.
36:23.149 --> 36:26.994
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think Alan Watts has written, there's no, um, round us.
36:27.675 --> 36:32.541
[SPEAKER_01]: I think he described it perfectly, which is like nothing brings you down quicker than going home to your parents of the weekend.
36:32.561 --> 36:35.784
[SPEAKER_01]: They call you Terry or something like that.
36:35.804 --> 36:44.635
[SPEAKER_01]: Which in their their grace like their great spiritual teachers, which is what I really truly believe the spirituality is all about is the embodiment of such spirit.
36:44.716 --> 37:03.653
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, if the Bible talks about the fruits of the Spirit being patients love, kindness, gratitude, gentler, self-control, well then if a man goes fishing at the weekend and he comes home and he's more patient loving, kindness, self-control, then my friends is times and realized that in 2026, fishing is a spiritual activity.
37:04.055 --> 37:04.857
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
37:05.138 --> 37:06.581
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, anything, right?
37:06.782 --> 37:10.732
[SPEAKER_00]: Anything that brings us closer to those, those states.
37:11.293 --> 37:16.967
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that is what brings me energy right now because.
37:17.521 --> 37:38.251
[SPEAKER_00]: whatever, if you feel called to support people through one of those ways of connecting, deeper to yourself or deeper to nature or deeper to your spirit, then others are looking for places to engage in that as well.
37:38.311 --> 37:42.297
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, then we can really have fun as well with our.
37:42.530 --> 37:45.196
[SPEAKER_01]: Am I right to say that you brought hot lines of facilitator?
37:45.216 --> 37:45.798
[SPEAKER_00]: I am not.
37:46.038 --> 37:51.652
[SPEAKER_00]: I am a safe and sound protocol facilitator, which does the same thing in my opinion.
37:51.692 --> 37:58.648
[SPEAKER_00]: And I listened to the episode that you had on the Heart Mountain was fabulous, fabulous.
37:58.628 --> 38:07.221
[SPEAKER_01]: planted in me the idea of our next phase of evolution, which if you think about Bruce Litton's work is that we're a community of trillions of cells in this one body.
38:08.062 --> 38:11.908
[SPEAKER_01]: You then got the heart math which brings us into coherence as the body.
38:12.930 --> 38:19.440
[SPEAKER_01]: But then there's also something about sharing in that frequency with other people that one mind mentality.
38:19.480 --> 38:22.965
[SPEAKER_01]: So I look at things like when the
38:23.502 --> 38:24.684
[SPEAKER_01]: before the rugby game.
38:24.904 --> 38:27.147
[SPEAKER_01]: That gets the coherence of a group.
38:27.368 --> 38:36.581
[SPEAKER_01]: Not for me is the, you know, whether this be families, teams, when you are together as more than one human, you form humanity, right?
38:36.621 --> 38:50.742
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think humanity is our next phase of evolution, when we come through the heart and we are coherent with the people around us, we'll start to, we'll start to exist in our next level of, um,
38:52.274 --> 38:53.816
[SPEAKER_01]: evolution, our expression.
38:53.877 --> 38:57.242
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe this was the experience, maybe back in the days of Liberia, right?
38:57.262 --> 39:01.388
[SPEAKER_01]: Where people would have naturally lived from a heart-based consciousness.
39:02.390 --> 39:03.632
[SPEAKER_01]: But I really do believe.
39:03.792 --> 39:19.817
[SPEAKER_01]: And so here's where the rubber hits the road, because if I was to talk to men about this concept, all I've got to do is take them to Liverpool football stadium and have them experience the crowd singing your never walk alone and I say, what do you feel?
39:19.797 --> 39:20.864
[SPEAKER_01]: and it'll be tingling.
39:20.924 --> 39:23.279
[SPEAKER_01]: It will be hairs on the back of the neck.
39:24.144 --> 39:25.251
[SPEAKER_01]: Whatever that is,
39:26.328 --> 39:28.630
[SPEAKER_01]: is not insignificant.
39:28.650 --> 39:36.697
[SPEAKER_01]: 60,000 people in song, using their own harmony, their own voice to create a symphony.
39:37.318 --> 39:50.290
[SPEAKER_01]: I know we're talking about words here, but I think these words represent something far greater truth that we are a note in harmony with a far greater symphony.
39:50.630 --> 39:56.335
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't
39:56.315 --> 40:14.222
[SPEAKER_01]: But all I do know is the no I am and how to place that in amongst other similar coherent syllables and I love the men right yeah for men all they need to know is I felt something
40:14.202 --> 40:20.452
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, okay, who am I in this moment and how do I bring more of that feeling to all that I do?
40:20.853 --> 40:26.282
[SPEAKER_01]: Because that will, that bring, I know that my my mums, I won't talk about it too much, but it's my stepdad.
40:27.083 --> 40:28.365
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a massive Liverpool fan.
40:29.226 --> 40:32.852
[SPEAKER_01]: You wouldn't necessarily get these types of conversations from him.
40:32.872 --> 40:33.874
[SPEAKER_01]: He's a man's man, right?
40:33.894 --> 40:34.695
[SPEAKER_01]: He loves his darts.
40:34.715 --> 40:35.497
[SPEAKER_01]: He loves his footy.
40:36.178 --> 40:40.665
[SPEAKER_01]: And I tell you what, you'd cry over that song every any time you see it in here's it.
40:40.645 --> 40:55.161
[SPEAKER_01]: So you tell me that men aren't emotional and I'll point you to that, it's not about the not being emotional, it's about having the heart and mind connected so they got the words for the feelings and then they're able to orient more to that with which lights them up.
40:55.411 --> 40:56.392
[SPEAKER_00]: which everyone has.
40:56.893 --> 40:58.955
[SPEAKER_01]: Everyone has everyone has.
40:58.995 --> 41:00.477
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're breathing and living.
41:00.937 --> 41:07.645
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, and if I look at school, unfortunately, I don't think the school education system points enough people to connect with that essence.
41:09.166 --> 41:16.635
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry I keep talking about my guess, but they bring me far more wisdom than I can bring you, which is Dr. Gordon Newfeld of the Newfound Institute.
41:16.935 --> 41:18.717
[SPEAKER_01]: He wrote a book called Hold on to your kids.
41:19.598 --> 41:20.659
[SPEAKER_01]: And
41:20.639 --> 41:25.207
[SPEAKER_01]: one of the most incredible connection-based parenting books I've ever.
41:25.247 --> 41:28.432
[SPEAKER_01]: If you're a parent, I can't recommend that book enough.
41:28.492 --> 41:30.015
[SPEAKER_01]: He co-wrote it with Gabel Marte.
41:30.696 --> 41:34.061
[SPEAKER_01]: And in it he says, if you do not teach your children who they are, the world will.
41:34.943 --> 41:46.562
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you're not bringing your children to the world with the sense of who they are, their values, their beliefs, their wholeness, their spirituality, or any of the things that you deem important to what you believe
41:46.542 --> 41:58.278
[SPEAKER_01]: don't outsource that to school, don't outsource that to the friendship group because they will fill the gap and that's the biggest call I can say to men is stop being passive in the home.
41:58.799 --> 42:12.398
[SPEAKER_01]: I see men in church, I see men at home, they're passive, they let their wives run the show, they let the wives run all the activity and I'm not saying that that's not what I'm saying is
42:12.378 --> 42:19.292
[SPEAKER_01]: give some leadership direction, give some clarity and sense of identity of this is who we are, this is what we stand for.
42:19.732 --> 42:29.612
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not saying you need to do a full-on corporate strategy a wayday for your family, but I am saying you are the one setting the tone of, what does it mean to be a member of this family?
42:30.193 --> 42:32.698
[SPEAKER_01]: Who am I in relation to this family?
42:32.678 --> 42:39.828
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you're finding that your children won't speak to you, it's because they are orienting more to people who will have this conversation with them.
42:39.848 --> 42:45.235
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm sorry to say it'll be TikTok, YouTube and their favorite influencers.
42:46.056 --> 42:52.185
[SPEAKER_01]: They will have more influence over your children because you are not filling that gap in that main responsibility.
42:52.565 --> 43:01.858
[SPEAKER_01]: Children
43:01.906 --> 43:06.096
[SPEAKER_01]: you will receive a child that gets that from somewhere else.
43:07.600 --> 43:08.241
[SPEAKER_00]: Well said.
43:08.783 --> 43:09.545
[SPEAKER_00]: Well said.
43:11.790 --> 43:14.236
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll let that sink in a little bit.
43:14.256 --> 43:15.118
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just listening.
43:15.158 --> 43:16.141
[SPEAKER_00]: That was powerful.
43:16.301 --> 43:17.063
[SPEAKER_00]: It's cool.
43:17.161 --> 43:19.884
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel, they're so much, I don't know, so much of their fear.
43:20.064 --> 43:45.970
[SPEAKER_01]: I say that from, let's set those hearts on fire and assume the God-given role that you've, those, there's wonderful young people that you've been placed as a steward of, you are called to be your fullest expression, every man, a husband, and a father, and that starts in the heart, simply with courage to be the fullest expression.
43:47.300 --> 43:50.105
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's the nurture part, the nurture.
43:51.307 --> 43:51.868
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a guide.
43:52.188 --> 43:52.669
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a guide.
43:52.729 --> 43:54.752
[SPEAKER_01]: You are the number one difference.
43:54.772 --> 43:58.418
[SPEAKER_01]: The, your son's going to look at you as a frame of what it means to be a man.
43:58.899 --> 44:04.428
[SPEAKER_01]: And your daughter's going to look at you as a frame of what it means to the standard of the man.
44:04.769 --> 44:05.630
[SPEAKER_00]: It's happening.
44:05.650 --> 44:06.412
[SPEAKER_00]: It's happening.
44:07.433 --> 44:13.223
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and, you know, the world right now is a mirror to us of what?
44:13.203 --> 44:14.125
[SPEAKER_00]: What has happened?
44:14.225 --> 44:14.365
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
44:14.886 --> 44:15.708
[SPEAKER_00]: What has happened?
44:15.949 --> 44:18.534
[SPEAKER_00]: And so there's, you know, some work to do.
44:18.554 --> 44:19.756
[SPEAKER_01]: And then let me be really clear.
44:19.916 --> 44:25.788
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not sat here saying, I'll invite my children and they'll tell you that dad can be an absolute walley sometimes.
44:26.149 --> 44:27.171
[SPEAKER_01]: They can be frustrated.
44:27.411 --> 44:30.878
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes dad can be trying to be too wise, trying to be too much of a teacher in the home.
44:31.139 --> 44:33.063
[SPEAKER_01]: They roll the rise, they resisted, they laugh.
44:33.644 --> 44:34.165
[SPEAKER_01]: But
44:34.145 --> 44:43.594
[SPEAKER_01]: I generally will hope to say that my children love being my children, I love being their father, and I earn the right to speak into their lives when they give me permission.
44:44.074 --> 44:54.523
[SPEAKER_01]: My daughter is going to no longer accept a man in her life that does not allow her to feel safe to be the fullest expression of who she is.
44:55.084 --> 44:58.407
[SPEAKER_01]: She's goofy, she acts, she sings, she dances.
44:58.467 --> 45:04.152
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope I've shown her that it's safe and okay, not only okay, but it's expected.
45:04.132 --> 45:05.695
[SPEAKER_01]: that she is her fullest.
45:06.155 --> 45:07.277
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't want her to hide.
45:07.317 --> 45:09.521
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want her to cut off pieces of her.
45:10.222 --> 45:17.014
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I hope through my demonstration that it's safe and okay to be that she knows that that's possible and doesn't settle for anything else.
45:17.555 --> 45:27.372
[SPEAKER_01]: And I hope that my demonstration of how I interact with my wife and how I still pursue her and I love her, you know, 24 years in and how I devote and how I serve,
45:27.352 --> 45:37.563
[SPEAKER_01]: is an image to my son, even if we're 24 years, and here's the really important thing, how do we move through conflict?
45:38.324 --> 45:40.126
[SPEAKER_01]: How do we move through conflict with love and grace?
45:40.166 --> 45:41.047
[SPEAKER_01]: How does that get modeled?
45:41.247 --> 45:46.553
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't see any of that, but it's see any of that, so how was I able to do that myself?
45:46.833 --> 45:57.004
[SPEAKER_01]: I did and I caused a lot of pain and suffering for the first half of my marriage
45:57.170 --> 46:00.014
[SPEAKER_01]: my wife and I look at our journeys and exactly what you said.
46:00.054 --> 46:01.636
[SPEAKER_01]: We wish we'd had this earlier.
46:01.997 --> 46:09.327
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, if we had, who knows what have happened, but we learned it when we needed to for the betterment of two human beings in our home.
46:10.048 --> 46:12.772
[SPEAKER_01]: And my ego wants that purpose to be worldwide.
46:13.073 --> 46:16.337
[SPEAKER_01]: It wants to be changing the world with that revelation.
46:16.958 --> 46:23.327
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I say what the season for now, the purpose, the maximal fire of that purpose is singular.
46:23.748 --> 46:24.749
[SPEAKER_01]: It's in front of me.
46:25.150 --> 46:26.552
[SPEAKER_01]: It's here now.
46:26.532 --> 46:29.541
[SPEAKER_01]: it's calling me to be that and do that now.
46:30.604 --> 46:33.915
[SPEAKER_01]: And as it happens, you and I get to have this conversation.
46:34.637 --> 46:40.575
[SPEAKER_01]: If it's God's will for this important story and message to be shared, then there's nothing I can do to stop that.
46:42.023 --> 46:43.365
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't want to stop that.
46:43.385 --> 46:52.018
[SPEAKER_00]: You're speaking to the work has to be done in our own backyard first with our own relationships.
46:52.959 --> 47:03.555
[SPEAKER_00]: And from that we can then, you know, share and support others, but unless we're doing the work ourselves in our own lives.
47:04.757 --> 47:10.225
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, let me tell you, I've tried to do it as somebody else's backyard and then I come home to mind and they don't receive me very well.
47:10.677 --> 47:25.986
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you're out with the old footage from this part since a minute, which I was, you know, was I was doing incredible things, I was helping a lot of people, I was building a wonderful community, but I wasn't gaining the love and the respect of the very people nearest and dearest who mattered most to me.
47:25.966 --> 47:26.948
[SPEAKER_01]: So what's it for?
47:27.209 --> 47:27.750
[SPEAKER_01]: What we're doing?
47:28.572 --> 47:42.622
[SPEAKER_01]: I was being that out there by playing a role, but I hadn't built the character to sustain and demonstrate that when the pressure was the most highest, which is when the people who push all my buttons because they're the ones who installed them.
47:45.648 --> 47:46.590
[SPEAKER_00]: So, well,
47:47.127 --> 47:48.229
[SPEAKER_00]: They're the gifts.
47:48.249 --> 47:50.111
[SPEAKER_00]: They're always like you got as a gift.
47:50.131 --> 48:11.020
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we talked about this when I was on your, like the moment when your partner triggers you, how can we hold that moment as an opportunity to practice regulation, practice creating space and practice listening, especially when somebody has a different opinion than us.
48:11.400 --> 48:14.805
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the nature of relationships because we're all different.
48:15.697 --> 48:21.365
[SPEAKER_01]: I was, I read something wonderful in, uh, is it a course of miracles?
48:21.485 --> 48:22.747
[SPEAKER_01]: I read it that the weekend.
48:24.389 --> 48:43.797
[SPEAKER_01]: And it basically said that when you come to this piece, when you come to this, and you open yourself up to being that that in a work right coming back into coherence what it says is that forgiveness sweeps in and removes any belief that God can be homeless.
48:43.777 --> 48:55.008
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that one line of just sat with me, I just thought, yeah, it just, we have to have daily practices to reanker us back to that reality.
48:56.289 --> 49:02.675
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and that for me, I spent a lot of my time, I've got endless amounts of books, I've got endless amounts of interviews.
49:02.715 --> 49:13.665
[SPEAKER_01]: My life up into this point has been characterized by seeking, seeking that wisdom, or maybe seeking that love where I shouldn't have been seeking it.
49:15.215 --> 49:16.938
[SPEAKER_01]: I just need to be able to see what already is there.
49:17.799 --> 49:34.945
[SPEAKER_01]: And some of this is not about, I can't work my way harder to that point of seeing or either controversial book, but Dolores Cannon presented a book called Jesus and the Assines, it's a past life regression type in book.
49:34.925 --> 49:47.602
[SPEAKER_01]: And they're talking to this guy called CD in the Comparm who is said to be the teacher of Ben Joseph and Ben Zachariah, which is Yeshua and John.
49:48.383 --> 49:54.992
[SPEAKER_01]: And so Dolores' client is a past-life regression bringing forth CD.
49:54.972 --> 49:57.674
[SPEAKER_01]: and they're saying, are what are you teaching him?
49:57.774 --> 49:59.596
[SPEAKER_01]: What are you teaching Yeshua?
50:00.157 --> 50:03.239
[SPEAKER_01]: And today, humble teacher, I'm not teaching him anything.
50:03.780 --> 50:05.521
[SPEAKER_01]: I just helping him see what's already there.
50:05.561 --> 50:09.164
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, he knows, but he can see the universe in Yeshua's eyes.
50:09.245 --> 50:10.746
[SPEAKER_01]: He was that like God realized.
50:11.587 --> 50:20.755
[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, that's kind of the phase now is so much of what you and I are talking about is anchoring anchoring into the reality that it's already here.
50:20.955 --> 50:23.477
[SPEAKER_01]: The kingdom of heaven is
50:24.470 --> 50:25.211
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
50:25.231 --> 50:25.652
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
50:25.672 --> 50:32.723
[SPEAKER_00]: And it takes time and patience and being in community and showing up every day, making that choice.
50:32.823 --> 50:37.009
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not something that happens overnight, just because you decide.
50:37.049 --> 50:40.134
[SPEAKER_00]: It is a path, like you're saying, or a journey.
50:40.234 --> 50:41.136
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, so.
50:42.438 --> 50:48.587
[SPEAKER_01]: So let me cover every recently in the
50:48.753 --> 50:58.344
[SPEAKER_01]: It talked about John the Baptist in a way that I'd never seen before, which is that he's as a harboringer, he's the way shower, he's preparing the way.
51:00.546 --> 51:04.291
[SPEAKER_01]: If we were to equate Jesus's gospel with one word, we'd say love, right?
51:04.311 --> 51:05.152
[SPEAKER_01]: We'd probably say love.
51:06.313 --> 51:15.283
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, if we were to, this book says that the one word for John the Baptist is purity.
51:16.377 --> 51:22.539
[SPEAKER_01]: obvious now that at all the work that we're doing is I used to think that I had to go out and be Christ in the marketplace, right?
51:22.559 --> 51:24.064
[SPEAKER_01]: That's probably an ego kind of a spec.
51:24.104 --> 51:24.927
[SPEAKER_01]: Go and be like Jesus.
51:24.987 --> 51:25.830
[SPEAKER_01]: Go and be like him.
51:26.840 --> 51:32.747
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, I realize now that my life is better so of walking the path of John the Baptist, which is about purifying.
51:33.569 --> 51:37.293
[SPEAKER_01]: Because if I purify those, that's the practical thing you're talking about, right?
51:37.714 --> 51:53.674
[SPEAKER_01]: If I can do the practical things of purity, purity of spirit through forgiveness, purity of mind through meditation or the purity of the body, through fasting or sound or whatever, whatever,
51:53.654 --> 51:55.298
[SPEAKER_01]: modality we're going to use.
51:56.039 --> 52:06.162
[SPEAKER_01]: It made me realize that our control is to follow the path of purity, so that we can make way for the Christ or the Sophia to dwell within.
52:06.479 --> 52:07.220
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
52:07.240 --> 52:11.646
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that that's going to take up the space the light can come in when there's space.
52:12.047 --> 52:13.048
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's beautiful.
52:13.209 --> 52:13.790
[SPEAKER_00]: Beautiful.
52:14.010 --> 52:15.452
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the practicality.
52:15.492 --> 52:30.073
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the thing that you and I hopefully have bring in answer to the field is the practical things, the way showing of purifying technologies so that we all may be clear divine channels.
52:30.053 --> 52:32.438
[SPEAKER_01]: And then we wouldn't have to convince people with words.
52:32.518 --> 52:36.546
[SPEAKER_01]: They would just in the heart know who they are and what they had to do.
52:37.047 --> 52:47.607
[SPEAKER_00]: And be connected to all the different living sentient forces that are part of our experience, that
52:47.587 --> 52:53.962
[SPEAKER_00]: allows to feel in community and connection with the world, with everything about it, not just people.
52:54.784 --> 53:03.064
[SPEAKER_00]: So there's there's so much growth and expansion that can happen once we tap into this and start to live.
53:03.044 --> 53:07.031
[SPEAKER_01]: or you can just go down to the rose bush and just shout to it and see if it grows faster.
53:07.832 --> 53:08.593
[SPEAKER_01]: See how that works.
53:09.054 --> 53:13.762
[SPEAKER_01]: As see the true nature of reality in timing and nature's wisdom.
53:14.182 --> 53:19.191
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I think Yeshua was the greatest kind of natural, naturalologian or whatever they call it.
53:19.231 --> 53:24.259
[SPEAKER_01]: Like all of his parables of nature, like they're not just parables, he's showing you.
53:24.728 --> 53:28.114
[SPEAKER_01]: be showing you how it works, because it is all in all things.
53:28.615 --> 53:38.132
[SPEAKER_01]: So whether you have a faith or not, get into nature, go look at it, go look into the eyes of your dog loads, tell me that you don't see something far more than you can ever understand with words.
53:39.514 --> 53:39.835
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
53:40.642 --> 53:59.612
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I want to put one plugin for the power of words because you've talked about words and we bring it back to the gene keys and the idea that words of frequencies, but also because I work with music so much that songs of frequencies, so my kind of newest way of talking about this is that.
53:59.592 --> 54:12.538
[SPEAKER_00]: one of songpops in your head or when you're listening to music to really allow the frequency of the words to move you because music is sentient and the person you created the music, you know, where does music come from?
54:13.565 --> 54:18.392
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that it's a force that is here for us at this time to support us.
54:18.532 --> 54:31.810
[SPEAKER_00]: And so words, as you've you've used so many powerful words during this talk, but I'd like to just point out that
54:31.790 --> 54:35.116
[SPEAKER_00]: words are, it's more than words, words are alive.
54:35.417 --> 54:48.381
[SPEAKER_00]: They're not just flat things that we read, and so if one takes anything from this, I hope we're expanding the perception of what is alive and sentient.
54:48.361 --> 54:57.802
[SPEAKER_01]: And you said earlier that you really liked my many five and episodes, they were words, but they were not words scripted, they were words felt and expressed.
54:58.404 --> 55:07.264
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's the thing isn't it when you when you when you allow yourself to transcend your mind and speak from your heart, those words come out different.
55:07.683 --> 55:12.127
[SPEAKER_01]: the work of Dr. Remoteo where he freezes the water and shows the beautiful shape.
55:12.147 --> 55:23.298
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I just imagine every heartfelt podcast comes out in the most fractal, holographic, incredible vibration that has the power to create new possibilities, right?
55:23.318 --> 55:27.762
[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, and so I definitely agree with you.
55:28.243 --> 55:37.572
[SPEAKER_01]: I think just after you and I met for the first time, I had just seen
55:37.552 --> 55:48.050
[SPEAKER_01]: And I've been on this journey and you know, I've been fortunate enough to speak with Neil Donald Walsh who's your through of conversations with God, and I've started to think about we're all having our conversations with God.
55:48.070 --> 55:50.013
[SPEAKER_01]: And then I start to listen to a racist lyrics.
55:50.374 --> 56:01.172
[SPEAKER_01]: They are all conversations with God, they are all, all the lyrics, you know, even his lyrics and little by little is like basically to say, why am I really here, like that's a conversation with God.
56:01.392 --> 56:02.935
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the Psalmist conversation.
56:02.915 --> 56:13.409
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, and for me, I just love that, you know, particularly for the men in it, and if you like a basis too, like, live forever was always my thing.
56:13.569 --> 56:24.444
[SPEAKER_01]: There's a deep universe of truth there, like not from an ego's point of live forever, they're going to build statues of you, but energetically, you know, energetically, there is no death.
56:24.524 --> 56:31.133
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's powerful, and then and then the wisdom of the master plan, we're all part of the master plan, right?
56:32.092 --> 56:34.497
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so this is all right there, isn't it?
56:34.537 --> 56:35.780
[SPEAKER_01]: Just that they're thing for me.
56:35.941 --> 56:37.384
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, what 38 now.
56:39.669 --> 56:41.092
[SPEAKER_01]: I look back at my younger self.
56:41.172 --> 56:42.475
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought, man, I love that guy.
56:42.515 --> 56:43.297
[SPEAKER_01]: He tried hard.
56:43.317 --> 56:44.380
[SPEAKER_01]: He tried to force stuff.
56:44.400 --> 56:46.765
[SPEAKER_01]: This comes about full circle around the divine timing.
56:46.785 --> 56:49.210
[SPEAKER_01]: Ain't no divine timing in my life is my timing.
56:49.291 --> 56:50.353
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll make stuff happen.
56:50.603 --> 56:59.956
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just call stuff rings on myself and everyone around me so, you know, I'm grateful for, you know, good people like you that do have the heart and the coach to bring forth that which is within you.
56:59.996 --> 57:01.759
[SPEAKER_01]: Because that's how we learn.
57:01.979 --> 57:07.206
[SPEAKER_01]: What are we, but God having a conversation with itself is fractal expressions of one thing.
57:07.226 --> 57:12.814
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's where you find me today is a is a man who,
57:13.267 --> 57:21.760
[SPEAKER_01]: has connected with the divinity of me and I can only pray that I can see the divinity within you and all things around me and just live a life in honouring of such an opportunity.
57:22.200 --> 57:22.661
[SPEAKER_00]: I love it.
57:22.881 --> 57:38.565
[SPEAKER_00]: It sounds it's a perfect way to draw this to a close of just anchoring into one, the self-compassion on the journey and the ability to give grace to self,
57:39.878 --> 57:44.829
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is really what we are.
57:45.009 --> 57:48.356
[SPEAKER_00]: We are energetic beings having a human experience.
57:49.940 --> 57:54.630
[SPEAKER_00]: And when we reframe and live from that, life becomes very different.
57:56.990 --> 58:22.288
[SPEAKER_00]: So I appreciate this time and I'm so glad we had a chance to reconnect and to laugh a little share a little and expose or share or allow folks to learn a little bit more about you, your podcast, which has been out now for three years, so this is a wonderful selection of episodes
58:22.268 --> 58:30.498
[SPEAKER_00]: opportunities through coaching, through business support, and through the community that's connected to the podcast.
58:30.518 --> 58:37.807
[SPEAKER_00]: So we'll put all of this in the books that Brian mentioned in the show notes, or anyone who's interested.
58:38.968 --> 58:40.731
[SPEAKER_00]: Ryan, it has been such a pleasure.
58:41.151 --> 58:41.872
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, no, I appreciate you.
58:41.892 --> 58:42.893
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for the really hot weather.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You brings the love.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.