Being 20.

Short essay by me.
Being 20 is so lonely. It's a constant state of "what's going on," and being overwhelmed with stress and sadness. At least for me.
For some reason I thought with time my life would get easier and I'd "grow into myself" and find my group of friends and finally have someone. Thus far, that's not the case. I just feel even more isolated and it's harder to make friends now because there isn't a place I'm at consistently where we'd have to interact. Online school has just made this even worse. My relationships with friends fell out because I was staying home while they continued to go out and do things. I got a bit left behind and now it's hard to catch up.
I often ask myself, do I even want to catch up? What's the point? Looking back through my friendships, they've never been mutually fulfilling long term. Someone always cares more than the other, and that someone is always me.
I just feel like maybe I don't have a place here. Maybe there aren't any friends for me. Maybe I need to accept that and start building my life solely around me and stop looking for companionship.
There are a lot of maybes, and not many, if any answers. I guess that's what your 20s are.
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