13. Susannah Long: Why Postpartum Mental Health Goes Beyond Depression and Anxiety Symptoms

The moment you become a mother, everything changes - but what no one prepares you for is how isolating and overwhelming those early months can feel. Even when you're surrounded by people celebrating your beautiful baby, you might find yourself wondering if what you're experiencing is normal, if you're doing enough, or if you're somehow failing at this thing called motherhood.

Licensed therapist and postpartum coach Susannah Long understands this struggle intimately. After experiencing her own unexpected battle with anxiety and intrusive thoughts six months after her first daughter was born, she recognized a gap in the support available to new mothers. Despite being a mental health professional herself, she felt lost and alone - which led her to transform her practice and become the resource she desperately needed during her own postpartum journey.

This conversation expands our understanding of postpartum mental health far beyond the commonly discussed depression and anxiety. Susannah introduces the concept of matrescence - the developmental process of becoming a mother, coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s. Just as adolescence doesn't happen overnight, neither does becoming a fully embodied mother.

We explore the reality that postpartum is fundamentally about releasing - emotionally, physically, and mentally - as you navigate this profound life transition. The intrusive thoughts, the overwhelming feelings, the sense of losing yourself while gaining a new identity - these experiences are far more common than most mothers realize.

One of the most powerful themes in our discussion centers on the invisible emotional load that mothers carry. While pregnancy often feels celebratory and supported, the postpartum period can feel surprisingly lonely. Susannah shares practical wisdom about what true support looks like - and it's not always about completing tasks or offering advice.

Sometimes the most healing thing someone can do is simply be present in the messiness without trying to fix anything. We discuss how friends and partners can show up authentically, moving beyond surface-level check-ins to create space for real emotional connection.

Rather than focusing on symptom management, Susannah's approach centers on values-based living. This means getting crystal clear about what you want your life to be about, then committing to actions that align with those values regardless of what difficult thoughts or emotions might be present.

This framework provides a powerful compass during the chaos of early motherhood, helping you make decisions from a place of intention rather than being swept away by the intensity of new parent overwhelm.

• Understanding that there's no threshold of suffering you must meet to deserve support
• Learning why connection with your baby doesn't always happen instantly - and that's completely normal
• Discovering practical tools for emotional repair in difficult moments
• Recognizing the importance of community and how to actively build it as a new mother
• Embracing the concept of matrescence as a developmental journey rather than a destination

We challenge the harmful narrative that mothers should quickly return to their pre-baby selves. Instead, this conversation celebrates the profound transformation that motherhood brings and encourages mothers to trust themselves through the process.

Susannah's message is clear: you don't need fixing. What you need is support, understanding, and permission to feel all the feelings that come with this monumental life change. Whether you're struggling with anxiety, feeling disconnected from your baby, or simply overwhelmed by the magnitude of your new role, there are people who understand and resources available to help.

This episode is an invitation to shift how we think about postpartum - from isolation and unrealistic expectations to connection, care, and authentic support for the whole mother.

Follow Susannah here: https://www.instagram.com/postpartumwithsusannah/?hl=en

Listen to her podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/postpartum-changed-my-life/id1671682300

Visit her website here: https://susannahlongtherapy.com/