Arabella: Hello everybody, welcome back
Rutha Berhane: Hi.
Arabella: to another episode of the Consistency Code. Today we're gonna be diving into a topic that we have had quite a lot of experience with ourselves. When does dedication become obsession? And I think it's a little bit of a gray area and a little bit subjective as well. at what point does dedication become obsession, but I think it's also important to talk about it because I think a lot of people also struggle with this the same way we have.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. we know within the space of bodybuilding and even just fitness, we have a lot of go go go and just like be on plan and do this and just be locked in 25 8 and that's promoted as dedication and you're like in it for the long run and it's not just a phase, but at the same time, it's like if you're trying to turn something into a lifestyle. It should not become the unhealthy obsession because obsession's good when you're working towards something. But when obsession becomes your life is stopping for that one thing, that's where it gets on a path that's not healthy.
Arabella: Exactly. And I think it's important to recognize that there are phases to bodybuilding, right? Like we have our competition prep phase, we have our off season improvement phase. And being obsessed with your end goal is important in bodybuilding, one thousand percent. You gotta want it so bad, but it's also important to allow yourself To live your life outside of bodybuilding because ultimately bodybuilding is not our entire identity. We can be so obsessed with it, but there are other aspects to our life. And when you do start to become like so all consumed with it, that's when eventually you are gonna hit that burnout point. And obviously the last thing we want is to start building resentment towards something we love. So yeah, there is
Rutha Berhane: Exactly. Yeah.
Arabella: that really fine line between. being disciplined and then letting it completely take over your life to the point where you're not showing up as your best self for like your loved ones to the point where you're missing out on important life events and making memories and yeah, I I've fully been there myself before too and like it's a learning curve. maybe a little bit embarrassing looking back on it, but it's a learning curve. And yeah.
Rutha Berhane: Always a learning curve, yeah. So the first portion we're gonna visit is just what dedication actually looks like. The true definition of dedication, if you will say. and that just looks like honestly, a lot of people will agree with this where it's just you're showing up even when you don't want to, as in you feel tired, you're exhausted, but you're like, hey, I have a goal, I'm dedicated to it, so I'm gonna show up even when motivation's down. And Putting perfection to the side and just getting something in when it counts. and just showing up for yourself. That's what dedication is, in a short description. You know what I mean? dedication is sustainable. It happens almost, I don't want to say naturally because you do have to put an effort towards it, but it's sustainable in the sense of you can keep doing it without motivation, but it's not. unsustainable to where you're basically killing yourself to get it done. That's not education.
Arabella: Exactly. I think yeah, dedication is checking all of your boxes but also being okay with accepting the fact that if you're on a trip and like a gym is like you know, over an hour away or like you have like this family dinner, you're okay with like maybe missing that workout because driving over an hour to the gym and then over an hour back is realistically gonna take up like probably four hours, maybe five hours of that time that you could be spending with your family on a trip. So you know, if you're in prep and like you have to get that workout in, okay, well that's a different story because you probably already communicated to
Rutha Berhane: Exactly.
Arabella: your family as an example on this trip that like you have to get this done. But like if you're in your off season, like yeah, dedication is getting your workouts in. This is just a random example, but getting your workouts in when it makes sense, when it's easy to, but not fully going well out of your way and missing out on that quality time and making memories. Does that make sense? Like you said, it's sustainable. Like you could do it
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: forever and ever. You could do it for the rest of your life without burning out.
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. And that brings me to ask you, like, what does dedication look like for you personally right now, if you could like give me an example from what you're doing, let's say?
Arabella: Yeah, that's a good question. So right now in my off season and also peak summer, I would say dedication is still getting my four workouts in every week, when I'm not traveling or when I am traveling and have easy access to a gym. still hitting my macros like 80% of the time. But if a friend asked me to go out for dinner, or like last week I was at home visiting my family. you know, having those home cooked meals without worrying about tracking every single gram. I have the knowledge where I can like loosely track that and still ballpark, hit my macros. I know exactly what I'm eating, so I'm okay with enjoying that meal with my family because I know in the long run, like, okay, if I am off my off my macros by like ten, twenty grams, like whatever. Do I do that every single day? No, because obviously those calories add up over time. But like I'm okay and I've accepted the fact that I can have a night or two off that more like 80 20 rule right now, so that I still can enjoy that quality time and fill my cup and spend time with people who are really important to me in my life, but not
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: not also not say like completely screw it to my bodybuilding goals.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. No, that's a perfect example. mine would look a little bit different just because I don't obviously travel as much as you do and things like that. But obviously it's a perfect example of how I think everybody should do it if they're in a season that's not competition or like you're not on a goal to like lose like a hundred plus pounds and you have a doctor, like whatever. That's a sustainable yet dedicated approach, right? for me, what it looked like was what was it? I think twenty twenty yeah, middle of twenty twenty-six, I wanna say, I was going through hell and back, okay? Like it was not a fun time for your girl. It was pretty bad. But at the same time, if you a if this happened like a few years ago, I would say like everything would go like if I didn't feel like eating, I would not. If I didn't want to go to the gym, I wouldn't go, because then I'd I'd be like, my Like what's what I'm feeling like matters more and I would just let that kind of take over. Right. But now when that happened this year and it was like quite a long period of time, I still got my meals and like I did not miss one meal. I went to to the gym and took my rest days as scheduled. I didn't let that kind of get in the way of what I'm trying to do because at the end of the day, I'm like, hey, I chose to be dedicated to a goal on my own. What's the point of me like letting it slip? when it is sustainable to get these these things done. Like yes, I had to pull my ass off the couch almost every single day for it, but at the same time it wasn't like I was in the gym and burnt out as I was doing it in the name of dedication. But I knew I could do it. If I didn't do it, I would just it would just be a choice of a feeling rather than like me being there and getting it done. so that's what it looked like for me. And that just showed me that like, okay, I have a good habit going on where I can separate my goals to my feelings.
Arabella: Exactly. And that is also so important to recognize and be able to make that separation between
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: your goals and how you're feeling. And obviously there's a time and a place to maybe push through, but there's
Rutha Berhane: sure.
Arabella: also a time and a place to take a step back. and
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: that is the perfect transition into our next section here where dedication becomes obsession and what the warning signs are with that because
Rutha Berhane: we've all had a time when we're obsessed with the goal, when we're obsessed with getting it done and so on, and it blurs the lines. Where did you see yourself when you pulled yourself out of the, okay, this is obsession, it's not healthy compared to this is dedication? Where was that where was the a time that you saw that difference?
Arabella: I don't know if I can like finger point exactly what point in time it was. I would say it was more so just like a mental transition for me over time, where I just began to recognize, and I think this came with just more knowledge as well. more knowledge and more experience and being able to trust myself that if I go on a vacation or if I go out for dinner, that that is not gonna be the end all be all. That is not gonna be the make or break between whether I win my show or not. That is not gonna be the make or break between turning pro at the end of the day. That is and what that could be the make or break of is my relationships. quality time, memories that I will never get back or once in a lifetime opportunities trips that I'll never have another chance to experience. And like I said, also just having that developing that trust in myself that yeah, I can go on that trip and not lose all of my progress and not set myself back. And if anything, it's actually gonna help propel me forward because I've been able to hit the reset button, enjoy myself, and now I can come home and lock back in stronger than I was previously. Because I also did feel myself eventually getting to this place of burnout where I'm like, my gosh, like I cannot sustain this dedication to the point where it is obsession anymore. You know, I wanna be able just to go out for dinner and not bring my food scale and not be stressing
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: about every single gram of food that goes in my mouth.
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's a good one. and obviously, like it's not the same for everybody, where you for you is more like of a subtle kind of change in mindset with how you said like you just had more knowledge by that time. And for some people, it's like they wake up like one day and they're like, Whoa, what the hell? which is why we but have both physical and emotional signs and sorry, emotional, mental, and then physical. And I want to start off with the mental aspect of it because that's what a lot of people are also gonna notice first rather than physical, in my opinion, just because the physical traits are gonna be more like, you know, like you're tired and you're in there still doing it for the name of the game, but it's not paying off. But the mental and emotional signs are really good one is the same traits that we speak of and like like com competitors and coaches also talk about what makes a really good competitor Are also the same traits that put someb somebody else at risk for obsessive eating, training, whatever. So the things that make us good competitors and the things that make us good at what we do can also backfire, such as you wake up, and we've all had days like where we wake up, we look forward to that two-hour period of our training and cardio or whatever. We get it done, we come back home, and you sit there and you're like, Did I do enough? And it's in your head. It's not like a hey, I got it done, cool, leave. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't be attentive to what you're doing in the gym and be like, okay, that was not a good session on my part. I kind of just half-assed it, compared to I could have done 10 times better and I'm not doing enough. And this, this, this, that's where the mental aspect comes. And same thing with the food where you're just closely just to the point where it's keeping you up at night and comparing it to these people are doing this and they look like this, but I'm doing this and look like this. What is the correlation? Am I eating too much, too little? Is my plan good? Is it bad? Those are gonna be the starters of the mental aspect of it.
Arabella: One hundred percent. And comparison is always gonna be the thief of joy too. Like you cannot be watching others and comparing yourself to them and expecting you to do exactly what they're doing. and there's a reason that cookie cutter approaches don't work. Like what works for someone may not work for you. And it's important to accept that. And some people maybe can get away with more free meals than others. a little bit more flexibility, but ultimately that's up to you to decipher okay what what are my limits? What
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. How does that?
Arabella: what can I handle? and do I know how to manage it? Because like I think it does require a certain amount of knowledge and habitual training to be able to go navigate a last minute dinner or a vacation or something unplanned. I have the knowledge to be able to navigate events like that and not go off track. But for my new clients, that's something that I actively try to teach them throughout their time working with me is how to incorporate real life without falling off track and without completely throwing the towel in. But it does require practice and dedication to get there. So yeah, I think for a certain period of time it is actually really important to be fully locked in and really dedicated. And then, you know, once you prove to yourself that you can and once you prove to yourself you do have that consistency in your life, then we can start to incorporate a little bit more flexibility and it's really not that deep.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, exactly. And then obviously we have the physical side of things, and there's also social, right? I'm so guilty of a lot of these things in the past that have also shown me that came back to me as my karma. Right. I, for example, I'm like I have chronic back pain. Okay. Like that that shit's not gonna go away. It's not from a specific injury. It's just there for life. But I went through a period in time where I wanted to compete at a certain time, specific days. Like I planned out my off season and that's it. And I didn't want to deviate. But then I was thinking, okay, you know, I know what I need to do and so on. So I need to train a certain way with. A certain amount of intensity nonstop. And this is where issues came along where I was training through injuries, where I was making my back flare up more, where then my training was not benefiting me because it's not working in the right places. If your back hurts and you're doing a hip thrust, where are you gonna feel that? Everywhere else but everywhere else but your glutes, right? So training through physical pain, you know, you're going to the gym. to go to the gym and that's it. It's like going through the motions constantly. Just constantly. And it's not even you're reaping the benefits of what you're doing. and just really putting yourself through the ringer in your body again for the name of the game.
Arabella: Yeah, yeah, totally. And that almost always will come with physical side effects when when you continue to push your body to those limits. And so for you, maybe it's the back pain and for me, obviously not having my cycle is a major physical sign. as well that I needed to take a step back because as bodybuilders we are always so focused on going like balls to the walls in the gym and training as hard as we possibly can. But you know, there's there's a breaking point and our bodies can only handle so much. And it's important to recognize when maybe potentially you are overtraining. something that I always have to remind my clients of you know, just lifestyle
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: gals that rest days are really important and you should allow yourself two to three rest days a week without feeling guilty, without compensating with extra movement. Like doing that extra movement is only gonna do more harm than good at the end of the day.
Rutha Berhane: Hundred percent. that's a canon of event too, right? Like where people just don't take their rest days for on their rest days, they're going for a run or they're doing a really intense, like workout class, and that's not that's not a rest day. Yeah, all all of us.
Arabella: I've been there before. I remembered pre pre bodybuilding days. I and like this was when like I first got my Apple Watch, like when the Apple Watch first came out. And like you had to close your rings every single day. And like I literally could not sleep at night unless I'd closed my rings every single day. And I thought that this meant that I had to go to the gym every day. taking a day off, like I would lose my gains and like I remember even going skiing in the winter and I would come home from skiing, like after a full day of skiing, mind you, and force myself
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: to go to the gym after, even though I just done like hello cardio all day on the ski hill. Still go to the gym.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. Did you did you ever do a cycling class? Or was that just like a canon event for me? Six
Arabella: Spin classes, no, that was also pre pre gym, pre bodybuilding era for me.
Rutha Berhane: That was hectic. Like I
Arabella: Those are oh my god.
Rutha Berhane: to this day I have PTSD from cycle classes.
Arabella: Yeah. Yeah. I have P T S D from like HIIT workout classes too like F 4 5
Rutha Berhane: That's like an orange theory kind of thing, right? Or no?
Arabella: it's similar. It's like there's a bunch of different stations. It's like forty five seconds on at each station, fifteen seconds off.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, no, those I yeah, the spin place that I used to go to had that as well. Where like it's not spin, but they have that and they have like stations and stuff. And it's just like it would gas me, but it's not because I'm working hard. It's just because it's meant to gas you. You're running around. You're running around.
Arabella: If you're not building muscle, let me be be so clear, even if you're picking up those five pound weights, you're not building muscle when your heart rate is that high. my
Rutha Berhane: The frickin' in and out little
Arabella: god. Don't even get me started. We could completely deviate onto another topic with that. But
Rutha Berhane: Sorry. Sorry. We have too much we have too much to say. But which which brings us which brings us to our favorite topic. Me and Bella love love this one. Why the fitness industry makes this ten times worse?
Arabella: Before we dive into that, I do want to quickly touch on some social signs that you could that you could be becoming a little bit too obsessed too all in because I have been through this. I've been through this myself. If you feel like nobody around you understands Or that you can only like the only people that understand are the people who are also as obsessed as you are is a slightly red flag because I remember going on trips with my family and getting so frustrated that they just like didn't understand why I had to go to the gym every single day. Okay, this is a great example of going way too out of my way to get my workouts in. So I was on a skiing trip in Europe with my family. We were skiing all day. I would then walk 20 minutes in the snow, like down the ski hill to this gym after skiing all day, mind you, before we would go for dinner. Do my lift, do my cardio, even though we'd just been skiing all day.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: I remember even like bringing my food scale to some of our meals. I would wake up early before skiing and do my fasted cardio. It was just like way, way, way overboard. I remember another trip I went on where at the time I was carb cycling and I would do my high day the day before I trained delts. This was when I had like baby baby delts. So I would take my high day, my high carb day, the day before I trained delts. And so I did that on the trip planning on hitting delts the next day. The next day rolls around and our plans change, and like I'm not able to go to the gym when I originally planned to, and like I didn't have a car to drive myself to the gym. I was relying on family to take me there. And I was like adamant that I had to go to the gym. I'm like, no, I cannot miss this. You guys don't understand. Like I did my high day yesterday, so I have to go. Like it's not an option. When my god, in the grand scheme of things. It would not have hurt me at all to take a rest day. Like what so what I did my high day yesterday. Whatever. Like, I'm not gonna get fat from that, you know? but at the time I just didn't have that knowledge or understanding that I do today. And I think we all kind of go through that phase where we are like overly locked in, and then you come out the other side and you realize. But
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. Exactly.
Arabella: yeah, that's a major social sign, I would say. maybe like hiding. things from people who are close to you because you're afraid of what they're gonna say, what they're gonna think, them judging you. So like secretly going to the gym, eating differently when you're alone versus in front of other people. this is a big one. Not being fully honest with your coach.
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: Always, always, always be fully honest with your coach, even if you had something off plan, if you missed meals, if whatever it was, if you withhold information, they are not able to accurately help you. And that is one of the most frustrating things ever as a coach when like you're like, I swear, like we should be making progress. Why why is the math not mathing right now?
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. Yeah. No that's those are all good those are all good angles, yeah.
Arabella: Yeah. Yeah. And then one more, just being like too rigid with your schedule and not being flexible when it comes to plans with friends or
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: family or saying no to food or a restaurant suggestion because you don't like what's on the menu, because it it's not easy for you to track, that kind of thing. just go live your life, you know? Enjoy the dinner and then Move on from it and get back there. Yeah. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: Worry about it the next day. Yeah. And I do have to throw in there, if one meal out, which is low-key off topic, but not really, if having a meal outside, or if somebody's telling you having one meal outside is gonna ruin your progress because you're so peeled and so on, and that's gonna actually make you fat the next day, maybe it's time to take a step back and think: like maybe I'm not as shredded as I think I am or locked on my diet. Previously, that like one meal off or two meals off are going to set me back on all my progress. So
Arabella: Exactly.
Rutha Berhane: there's the bigger picture issue when it comes to that concept, which I always tell people, like, hey, if frozen yogurt's gonna ruin your progress, maybe the progress was not that good to begin with. Coming yeah,
Arabella: Yeah, there is a deeper issue there. Yes.
Rutha Berhane: coming from somebody who i is a frozen yogurt connoisseur numerous times a week. So anyways, yeah.
Arabella: And look at how much progress you're making in your off season right now. So
Rutha Berhane: Thank you so much, baddie Thank you. Sorry. Little skinny hand. Am I do you think I look little might fly away? Thank you. Thank you.
Arabella: Slaying yeah, yes, yeah.
Rutha Berhane: but yeah, after that, this brings us back to why the fitness industry makes it so much worse and which your topic ties to this about the social outing and so on. Because if I were to ask you right now, and you'd have to tell me if I told you where did that concept come from? come from where you do an activity all day but then you'd go and hit the gym. Why like where did that concept come from into your head? Because I don't think it was from thin air.
Arabella: It's it's the hustle culture, right? Like more and more and more. Like and seeing people who you look up to on social media being so locked in all the time and obviously them being your inspiration, you're like, okay, I have to check all my boxes. I cannot miss anything. If I want to be where they are, like I have to do what they do. And yeah, you really do become obsessed with it. And Social media also rewards extremes, right? Like you're shredded, it rewards that more than like a healthy body fat level.
Rutha Berhane: Sustainable body, yeah.
Arabella: if you are being extreme and post your five AM workout or your five a.m. cardio, or like, you know, you're
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: doing your fasted cardio and then you go skiing and then you go to the gym after, like, social media is like, my gosh, like look at this girl, like she's crazy. She's doing well. And
Rutha Berhane: That's where I wanna be in. Yeah.
Arabella: you get rewarded for it, right? Versus if you say, I'm actually taking this day off to rest, it's like people are like, why is she taking a step back? Is everything okay? Like weird. Yeah. And it's it's super
Rutha Berhane: Is it is she all right? Yeah. That's true. which
Arabella: backwards that way.
Rutha Berhane: very because well what does you know because everything at the end of the day is money and people who are pushing this benefit from something right and all these brands do so when people are rewarding like the industry profits from extremes as in it's rewarding more more and more so more supplements more training days more intensity the more you do the more you get out of life which is correct but to a certain extent The more you do sometimes gonna run you to the ground where you will have nothing else to give. And then guess what? You have to pivot your whole your whole mindset to something else because what you were planning originally is now stunted by the consequences of your actions, right? So when we're consuming all this and the hustle culture and the go, go, go kind of thing, no days off, somebody will come and tell you, actually, there's a more sustainable way to do this. And this is how you do it. People on social media shut that down so quickly because if it's not hard and intense, it will not work. The amount of aggressive cuts, aggressive cuts used to be a really big thing a few months ago or like beginning of summer or winter, I don't know. But aggressive cuts would be something you'd do in like eight weeks and you would drop like twenty, thirty pounds, and that's the only way to do it. And then people would come on and say, Hey no, actually if you
Arabella: What are you talking about? 30 pounds in eight weeks? No. I have
Rutha Berhane: Like dude, these people were eating eight hundred calories. Like
Arabella: not seen this. That is actually insane.
Rutha Berhane: Aggressive cuts because people it came from in my opinion, I think it came from people who have a background in bodybuilding and the knowledge and that would share their shredded physiques. And then to profit off of the brands they work with, what are they gonna do? Promote things. Hey, I got this peel doing this much cardio, this, this, and this, but they don't share what they did previously. 100%.
Arabella: Okay, they're lying to you though. They're not actually losing thirty pounds in eight weeks, like
Rutha Berhane: Hundred percent, hundred percent, which is so sad, but at the same time at
Arabella: It's impossible.
Rutha Berhane: the same time shredded physiques do get rewarded. And the thing is, the reason this thing didn't stick is because that wasn't happening for them. Nobody's losing 30 pounds in eight weeks. Nobody's gonna lose a sustainable amount of weight doing nonsense 25 eight, just running your body down to the ground. So nobody was benefiting. So then what are they gonna do? Give up after. Cause I would too. 'Cause if I was promised, hey, you'll get these results
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: after doing this and it didn't work, I'm gone. I'm gone.
Arabella: And that's most of the women I talk to too, they're like, I'm just so frustrated. Like I've tried XYZ and nothing's working for me, but you know, it works for so and so over there. I'm like you do not know the full picture. Like they are lying to you about what they're doing because yeah, they make profit. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: And lying sells lying sells yeah. It's it's it's a lot, but
Arabella: And like even bodybuilding has this like stigma where, you know, you have to suffer in a prep. If you're not suffering in a prep, you're not going hard enough, you're not pushing yourself enough, you're not gonna be lean enough, which is so, so untrue.
Rutha Berhane: Like God forbid I enjoy the process. Like
Arabella: Yeah. God forbid I actually do it sustainably and like Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: I'm enjoying myself. fuck. Yeah.
Arabella: Yeah, of course you're probably gonna be suffering once you get lean enough because that's just the name of the game. Once you you know, the worse you feel, the better you look. But you do not always have to absolutely kill yourself. And that is coming from somebody who thankfully I'm so grateful, never I've never had a crazy extreme prep by any means. So it does not
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Arabella: have to be that way. If you are a competitor listening to this and you're questioning your hour and a half of cardio every single day starting at like eight weeks out, then you're not you're not wrong for questioning that. Not all the time.
Rutha Berhane: You're not wrong questioning it. Yeah, and I always tell people Yeah, and I always tell people like be jealous of those like in a competitor angle, like those who don't have to suffer 25-8 to get the the look that they want, who don't have to do hours of cardio and are like, This is so hard. Be jealous of the girls who are l are looking like they're enjoying the process, you know what I mean? Even the hard days, because that's where you're going to know that you're going to succeed properly because if you're just looking at the people that are like, this is the hardest thing I've ever done and you should suffer if you're happy, you're going to lose. If you keep looking at those people, you, your time and body building is going to be cut short expeditiously. You're not going to last long.
Arabella: No.
Rutha Berhane: Cause how long can you suffer for? Your mind's not going to let you do that for too long.
Arabella: Yeah, and then you're literally gonna have PTSD from your last prep. Like I'd never wanna put myself through that again because it was so bad when it does not that way. I know you do. Yeah. I know you do, but yeah. That's
Rutha Berhane: Yep. 'Cause I got PTSD two queen and no way I'm gonna do that again. Yeah, so mm.
Arabella: a perfect transition for our next segment here, which is like the competitor specific version. 'cause obviously competitive bodybuilding has a very unique relationship with obsession in the sense that like bodybuilding itself requires such A high level of focus, and we do have to be meticulous. And a lot of outsiders outside of the sport do view it as somewhat disordered in a way because they just don't understand that this is the level of rigidity that is required in order to achieve a certain level of stage leanness but like we've already established, I would say the question is. what happens, what does your life look like after prep ends? Because yes, prep requires that level of discipline, but you definitely can incorporate a little bit more flexibility in your offseason. And that transition can be incredibly difficult. It's something I struggle with every single time post-show is allowing myself to take a step back from that rigidity. you know I I even went on a trip like four weeks post-show I think last year. And I was so obsessed with like staying as lean as possible and not blowing up, not gaining weight too quickly because I had that pressure from social media too. I felt like I had a standard to uphold. and it is a large piece of my identity. It's a large piece of why people follow me. So I felt like I needed to like maintain this look when in reality That's not the case whatsoever. and I found myself, yeah, under eating on the trip. Like I would eat very, very little during the day so that I could go enjoy the dinner and not be stressed about it, even though my food was like already ridiculously high at this point in time. But yeah, that like prepto-off season transition is where the potential obsession does tend to surface because
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: you find your you catch yourself still. being so locked in on those prep habits that you can be a little bit more relaxed with in the off season.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, which is what people look at and you know, use to talk about the restrictive portion of it when they're not in the space because Like you said, the certain things you you do in prep, if they carry over to your off season to the extent that it was in prep. That is that is what's it called? That is asking for a issue, a big one, which can be either binge eating, restrictive eating, body image, whatever, which again cuts your time short, which not even blaming you, that would cut my time short too, because you never wanna be feeling like that in those cycles constantly because it is hard on the mind when it's just twenty five, eight that, but The weighing every gram. Cardio twice a day if you if you have to fasted and post-workout. because sometimes we get that in in prep, right? Like that's just how life goes. the weighing yourself every day, the paying, like you have your eyes on your body 25-8 in prep. When you're in your in your off season, and we do see people that do this, we do see people who promote, I don't believe in the amount of videos that I that make my head turn is In your your off season is nothing different, okay? Every single gram has to be weighed. You don't need an off-plan meal If your meal plan is done properly and it has everything that you need, you do not need an off-plan meal. What are you talking about right now? Like what
Arabella: I've heard that.
Rutha Berhane: are you even saying? And it's just so baffling because it's like I could I could love my meal plan. Like, right? And it's like I love my meals,
Arabella: If you love your meals enough, then you shouldn't feel the need to go eat off plan. Which okay.
Rutha Berhane: but I also love a steak.
Arabella: To an extent, yeah, you shouldn't be forcing yourself to follow a meal plan where you despise and dread every single meal. Like, yeah, you should be enjoying your meals on your meal plan, and that's why, like, I custom build all of my clients' meal plans 'cause I'm like, girl, tell me what you actually enjoy eating, we'll put that on your meal plan, 'cause like I don't wanna force chicken and rice down your throat if you hate chicken. But at the same time that is not gonna like that's not gonna stop your cravings for other foods. That's not a reason to not go enjoy a meal
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: out like it's absolutely mind boggling I don't have any explanation.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, that's like and it's so just it's so toxic because I see this. I've I've seen this from people in front of my bare eyes where I'm like, I can't surround myself with you because I if I pick up the same habits, like I'm gonna end up way worse. I'm gonna be somewhere else, okay? So
Arabella: not.
Rutha Berhane: I don't care if you're on plan twenty-five eight. Do not promote that like it's normal because that's not I don't care what anybody says, I really don't. You could be the best of the best. That's still not a mindset that works for everybody. You're just one off. Where it's like you live and breathe the shit cool. But if you're looking at somebody else being like, they're eating off plan, you don't need that because your meal plat has everything. Like you're just you're just l feeding your feelings. Yeah, I have big feelings. Let me get let me get a nice juicy steak outside. Don't care. Yeah,
Arabella: I will go enjoy my ice cream. Thank you so much.
Rutha Berhane: you can be miserable over there. I'm good here. I'm good here.
Arabella: This isn't about saying like fuck your meal plan, like go eat plan like multiple times a week, but recognize that you can have a free meal, you can go for sushi, you can go for that date night. And it's not gonna make or break your placing next season. And
Rutha Berhane: And if it does, it wasn't the food.
Arabella: there's definitely a deeper reason there. Literally, literally preach. Yeah. Something else that I wanna talk about that we see way too often is like when people really struggle with stepping back from prep and taking it
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: off season. Like, just one more show, one more show. because and I understand why. It's because being in prep feeds your dopamine, right? Like you get a high off Being so locked in, checking all of your boxes and seeing the progress, seeing more shreds, seeing more lines come through. You really do become addicted and obsessed with that, and then transitioning out of that when the lines start to fade, when you gain more body fat, when you aren't seeing those daily changes anymore, you don't get that same hit of dopamine. And when you're not as controlled or structured as you are in prep, yeah, it's it is mentally challenging to take that step back, but like it's so needed and that one more show at the end of the day that you don't need is like only a waste of time, it's only gonna hold you back in the long run. And we see that so often with girls like competing year after year after year and like not
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, no, this is we do. We do. Yeah.
Arabella: not taking a step back and not enjoying rest of their life and
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: not making any progress at the end of the day because muscle growth takes time.
Rutha Berhane: 100%. And I and I and I feel that. Like you always want to be on stage and stuff and like it's fun and you see everybody competing and you kind of get FOMO. But when you find the ability to bench yourself, you will find more power in that than stepping on stage because you it's saying no to yourself is very hard, obviously. Saying no to yourself is very hard and understand that. But once you do it one time, when you get back to being in prep, it will feel so much better because you knew what you did was necessary. So yeah.
Arabella: Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah. And I think that's the perfect place to wrap up this episode. But just wanna leave you guys with like the bigger question here. which isn't really like am I dedicated or obsessed? It's rather like is this serving my life, is this adding to my life, or is it absolutely controlling my life and running it because
Rutha Berhane: And destructive, yeah.
Arabella: yeah, whether you're a bodybuilder, whether you're just going to the gym for lifestyle purposes, because you love going to the gym, whether you're on a weight loss journey, whatever it is, like whatever your goals are, they should always add to your life, right? Like they should improve your energy, your confidence, your overall health. it should give you a sense of purpose, maybe a sense of community, but when it starts subtracting from your life or it when it starts affecting your relationships, your spontaneity, your mental peace, when it's giving you more stress than de stressing you, then that is when you know something has really shifted and you need to take a step back.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, when
Arabella: And you can still be disciplined. You can still be crushing your goals without
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. Yeah. And
Arabella: being overly obsessed. Obsessed.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. If you see yourself Yeah, if you see yourself because we're very self-aware people, like we're human beings, if you see yourself putting this persona out to the public where from the outside looking in, you look locked in, focused, everything's good and everything, but then on the inside, the only stuff that you know, if it's constantly causing you anxiety, panic, and you're going every day just at a state of anxiety because of your obsession with something. That's when you have to realize that it your dedication is being disguised. Okay. So yeah. But everything else
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: you said, spot on.
Arabella: Absolutely. But if this resonated with you whatsoever, then please let us know because I would I know we would love to hear your experiences with this too, 'cause yeah, definitely something that everybody struggles with at some point in time. So yeah, hopefully you got some value from this and let us know your thoughts, comments, feelings in the comments and we will chat to y'all next week.
Rutha Berhane: Have a beautiful day. Bye.
Arabella: Bye.
Rutha Berhane: Hi.
Arabella: to another episode of the Consistency Code. Today we're gonna be diving into a topic that we have had quite a lot of experience with ourselves. When does dedication become obsession? And I think it's a little bit of a gray area and a little bit subjective as well. at what point does dedication become obsession, but I think it's also important to talk about it because I think a lot of people also struggle with this the same way we have.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. we know within the space of bodybuilding and even just fitness, we have a lot of go go go and just like be on plan and do this and just be locked in 25 8 and that's promoted as dedication and you're like in it for the long run and it's not just a phase, but at the same time, it's like if you're trying to turn something into a lifestyle. It should not become the unhealthy obsession because obsession's good when you're working towards something. But when obsession becomes your life is stopping for that one thing, that's where it gets on a path that's not healthy.
Arabella: Exactly. And I think it's important to recognize that there are phases to bodybuilding, right? Like we have our competition prep phase, we have our off season improvement phase. And being obsessed with your end goal is important in bodybuilding, one thousand percent. You gotta want it so bad, but it's also important to allow yourself To live your life outside of bodybuilding because ultimately bodybuilding is not our entire identity. We can be so obsessed with it, but there are other aspects to our life. And when you do start to become like so all consumed with it, that's when eventually you are gonna hit that burnout point. And obviously the last thing we want is to start building resentment towards something we love. So yeah, there is
Rutha Berhane: Exactly. Yeah.
Arabella: that really fine line between. being disciplined and then letting it completely take over your life to the point where you're not showing up as your best self for like your loved ones to the point where you're missing out on important life events and making memories and yeah, I I've fully been there myself before too and like it's a learning curve. maybe a little bit embarrassing looking back on it, but it's a learning curve. And yeah.
Rutha Berhane: Always a learning curve, yeah. So the first portion we're gonna visit is just what dedication actually looks like. The true definition of dedication, if you will say. and that just looks like honestly, a lot of people will agree with this where it's just you're showing up even when you don't want to, as in you feel tired, you're exhausted, but you're like, hey, I have a goal, I'm dedicated to it, so I'm gonna show up even when motivation's down. And Putting perfection to the side and just getting something in when it counts. and just showing up for yourself. That's what dedication is, in a short description. You know what I mean? dedication is sustainable. It happens almost, I don't want to say naturally because you do have to put an effort towards it, but it's sustainable in the sense of you can keep doing it without motivation, but it's not. unsustainable to where you're basically killing yourself to get it done. That's not education.
Arabella: Exactly. I think yeah, dedication is checking all of your boxes but also being okay with accepting the fact that if you're on a trip and like a gym is like you know, over an hour away or like you have like this family dinner, you're okay with like maybe missing that workout because driving over an hour to the gym and then over an hour back is realistically gonna take up like probably four hours, maybe five hours of that time that you could be spending with your family on a trip. So you know, if you're in prep and like you have to get that workout in, okay, well that's a different story because you probably already communicated to
Rutha Berhane: Exactly.
Arabella: your family as an example on this trip that like you have to get this done. But like if you're in your off season, like yeah, dedication is getting your workouts in. This is just a random example, but getting your workouts in when it makes sense, when it's easy to, but not fully going well out of your way and missing out on that quality time and making memories. Does that make sense? Like you said, it's sustainable. Like you could do it
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: forever and ever. You could do it for the rest of your life without burning out.
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. And that brings me to ask you, like, what does dedication look like for you personally right now, if you could like give me an example from what you're doing, let's say?
Arabella: Yeah, that's a good question. So right now in my off season and also peak summer, I would say dedication is still getting my four workouts in every week, when I'm not traveling or when I am traveling and have easy access to a gym. still hitting my macros like 80% of the time. But if a friend asked me to go out for dinner, or like last week I was at home visiting my family. you know, having those home cooked meals without worrying about tracking every single gram. I have the knowledge where I can like loosely track that and still ballpark, hit my macros. I know exactly what I'm eating, so I'm okay with enjoying that meal with my family because I know in the long run, like, okay, if I am off my off my macros by like ten, twenty grams, like whatever. Do I do that every single day? No, because obviously those calories add up over time. But like I'm okay and I've accepted the fact that I can have a night or two off that more like 80 20 rule right now, so that I still can enjoy that quality time and fill my cup and spend time with people who are really important to me in my life, but not
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: not also not say like completely screw it to my bodybuilding goals.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. No, that's a perfect example. mine would look a little bit different just because I don't obviously travel as much as you do and things like that. But obviously it's a perfect example of how I think everybody should do it if they're in a season that's not competition or like you're not on a goal to like lose like a hundred plus pounds and you have a doctor, like whatever. That's a sustainable yet dedicated approach, right? for me, what it looked like was what was it? I think twenty twenty yeah, middle of twenty twenty-six, I wanna say, I was going through hell and back, okay? Like it was not a fun time for your girl. It was pretty bad. But at the same time, if you a if this happened like a few years ago, I would say like everything would go like if I didn't feel like eating, I would not. If I didn't want to go to the gym, I wouldn't go, because then I'd I'd be like, my Like what's what I'm feeling like matters more and I would just let that kind of take over. Right. But now when that happened this year and it was like quite a long period of time, I still got my meals and like I did not miss one meal. I went to to the gym and took my rest days as scheduled. I didn't let that kind of get in the way of what I'm trying to do because at the end of the day, I'm like, hey, I chose to be dedicated to a goal on my own. What's the point of me like letting it slip? when it is sustainable to get these these things done. Like yes, I had to pull my ass off the couch almost every single day for it, but at the same time it wasn't like I was in the gym and burnt out as I was doing it in the name of dedication. But I knew I could do it. If I didn't do it, I would just it would just be a choice of a feeling rather than like me being there and getting it done. so that's what it looked like for me. And that just showed me that like, okay, I have a good habit going on where I can separate my goals to my feelings.
Arabella: Exactly. And that is also so important to recognize and be able to make that separation between
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: your goals and how you're feeling. And obviously there's a time and a place to maybe push through, but there's
Rutha Berhane: sure.
Arabella: also a time and a place to take a step back. and
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: that is the perfect transition into our next section here where dedication becomes obsession and what the warning signs are with that because
Rutha Berhane: we've all had a time when we're obsessed with the goal, when we're obsessed with getting it done and so on, and it blurs the lines. Where did you see yourself when you pulled yourself out of the, okay, this is obsession, it's not healthy compared to this is dedication? Where was that where was the a time that you saw that difference?
Arabella: I don't know if I can like finger point exactly what point in time it was. I would say it was more so just like a mental transition for me over time, where I just began to recognize, and I think this came with just more knowledge as well. more knowledge and more experience and being able to trust myself that if I go on a vacation or if I go out for dinner, that that is not gonna be the end all be all. That is not gonna be the make or break between whether I win my show or not. That is not gonna be the make or break between turning pro at the end of the day. That is and what that could be the make or break of is my relationships. quality time, memories that I will never get back or once in a lifetime opportunities trips that I'll never have another chance to experience. And like I said, also just having that developing that trust in myself that yeah, I can go on that trip and not lose all of my progress and not set myself back. And if anything, it's actually gonna help propel me forward because I've been able to hit the reset button, enjoy myself, and now I can come home and lock back in stronger than I was previously. Because I also did feel myself eventually getting to this place of burnout where I'm like, my gosh, like I cannot sustain this dedication to the point where it is obsession anymore. You know, I wanna be able just to go out for dinner and not bring my food scale and not be stressing
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: about every single gram of food that goes in my mouth.
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's a good one. and obviously, like it's not the same for everybody, where you for you is more like of a subtle kind of change in mindset with how you said like you just had more knowledge by that time. And for some people, it's like they wake up like one day and they're like, Whoa, what the hell? which is why we but have both physical and emotional signs and sorry, emotional, mental, and then physical. And I want to start off with the mental aspect of it because that's what a lot of people are also gonna notice first rather than physical, in my opinion, just because the physical traits are gonna be more like, you know, like you're tired and you're in there still doing it for the name of the game, but it's not paying off. But the mental and emotional signs are really good one is the same traits that we speak of and like like com competitors and coaches also talk about what makes a really good competitor Are also the same traits that put someb somebody else at risk for obsessive eating, training, whatever. So the things that make us good competitors and the things that make us good at what we do can also backfire, such as you wake up, and we've all had days like where we wake up, we look forward to that two-hour period of our training and cardio or whatever. We get it done, we come back home, and you sit there and you're like, Did I do enough? And it's in your head. It's not like a hey, I got it done, cool, leave. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't be attentive to what you're doing in the gym and be like, okay, that was not a good session on my part. I kind of just half-assed it, compared to I could have done 10 times better and I'm not doing enough. And this, this, this, that's where the mental aspect comes. And same thing with the food where you're just closely just to the point where it's keeping you up at night and comparing it to these people are doing this and they look like this, but I'm doing this and look like this. What is the correlation? Am I eating too much, too little? Is my plan good? Is it bad? Those are gonna be the starters of the mental aspect of it.
Arabella: One hundred percent. And comparison is always gonna be the thief of joy too. Like you cannot be watching others and comparing yourself to them and expecting you to do exactly what they're doing. and there's a reason that cookie cutter approaches don't work. Like what works for someone may not work for you. And it's important to accept that. And some people maybe can get away with more free meals than others. a little bit more flexibility, but ultimately that's up to you to decipher okay what what are my limits? What
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. How does that?
Arabella: what can I handle? and do I know how to manage it? Because like I think it does require a certain amount of knowledge and habitual training to be able to go navigate a last minute dinner or a vacation or something unplanned. I have the knowledge to be able to navigate events like that and not go off track. But for my new clients, that's something that I actively try to teach them throughout their time working with me is how to incorporate real life without falling off track and without completely throwing the towel in. But it does require practice and dedication to get there. So yeah, I think for a certain period of time it is actually really important to be fully locked in and really dedicated. And then, you know, once you prove to yourself that you can and once you prove to yourself you do have that consistency in your life, then we can start to incorporate a little bit more flexibility and it's really not that deep.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, exactly. And then obviously we have the physical side of things, and there's also social, right? I'm so guilty of a lot of these things in the past that have also shown me that came back to me as my karma. Right. I, for example, I'm like I have chronic back pain. Okay. Like that that shit's not gonna go away. It's not from a specific injury. It's just there for life. But I went through a period in time where I wanted to compete at a certain time, specific days. Like I planned out my off season and that's it. And I didn't want to deviate. But then I was thinking, okay, you know, I know what I need to do and so on. So I need to train a certain way with. A certain amount of intensity nonstop. And this is where issues came along where I was training through injuries, where I was making my back flare up more, where then my training was not benefiting me because it's not working in the right places. If your back hurts and you're doing a hip thrust, where are you gonna feel that? Everywhere else but everywhere else but your glutes, right? So training through physical pain, you know, you're going to the gym. to go to the gym and that's it. It's like going through the motions constantly. Just constantly. And it's not even you're reaping the benefits of what you're doing. and just really putting yourself through the ringer in your body again for the name of the game.
Arabella: Yeah, yeah, totally. And that almost always will come with physical side effects when when you continue to push your body to those limits. And so for you, maybe it's the back pain and for me, obviously not having my cycle is a major physical sign. as well that I needed to take a step back because as bodybuilders we are always so focused on going like balls to the walls in the gym and training as hard as we possibly can. But you know, there's there's a breaking point and our bodies can only handle so much. And it's important to recognize when maybe potentially you are overtraining. something that I always have to remind my clients of you know, just lifestyle
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: gals that rest days are really important and you should allow yourself two to three rest days a week without feeling guilty, without compensating with extra movement. Like doing that extra movement is only gonna do more harm than good at the end of the day.
Rutha Berhane: Hundred percent. that's a canon of event too, right? Like where people just don't take their rest days for on their rest days, they're going for a run or they're doing a really intense, like workout class, and that's not that's not a rest day. Yeah, all all of us.
Arabella: I've been there before. I remembered pre pre bodybuilding days. I and like this was when like I first got my Apple Watch, like when the Apple Watch first came out. And like you had to close your rings every single day. And like I literally could not sleep at night unless I'd closed my rings every single day. And I thought that this meant that I had to go to the gym every day. taking a day off, like I would lose my gains and like I remember even going skiing in the winter and I would come home from skiing, like after a full day of skiing, mind you, and force myself
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: to go to the gym after, even though I just done like hello cardio all day on the ski hill. Still go to the gym.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. Did you did you ever do a cycling class? Or was that just like a canon event for me? Six
Arabella: Spin classes, no, that was also pre pre gym, pre bodybuilding era for me.
Rutha Berhane: That was hectic. Like I
Arabella: Those are oh my god.
Rutha Berhane: to this day I have PTSD from cycle classes.
Arabella: Yeah. Yeah. I have P T S D from like HIIT workout classes too like F 4 5
Rutha Berhane: That's like an orange theory kind of thing, right? Or no?
Arabella: it's similar. It's like there's a bunch of different stations. It's like forty five seconds on at each station, fifteen seconds off.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, no, those I yeah, the spin place that I used to go to had that as well. Where like it's not spin, but they have that and they have like stations and stuff. And it's just like it would gas me, but it's not because I'm working hard. It's just because it's meant to gas you. You're running around. You're running around.
Arabella: If you're not building muscle, let me be be so clear, even if you're picking up those five pound weights, you're not building muscle when your heart rate is that high. my
Rutha Berhane: The frickin' in and out little
Arabella: god. Don't even get me started. We could completely deviate onto another topic with that. But
Rutha Berhane: Sorry. Sorry. We have too much we have too much to say. But which which brings us which brings us to our favorite topic. Me and Bella love love this one. Why the fitness industry makes this ten times worse?
Arabella: Before we dive into that, I do want to quickly touch on some social signs that you could that you could be becoming a little bit too obsessed too all in because I have been through this. I've been through this myself. If you feel like nobody around you understands Or that you can only like the only people that understand are the people who are also as obsessed as you are is a slightly red flag because I remember going on trips with my family and getting so frustrated that they just like didn't understand why I had to go to the gym every single day. Okay, this is a great example of going way too out of my way to get my workouts in. So I was on a skiing trip in Europe with my family. We were skiing all day. I would then walk 20 minutes in the snow, like down the ski hill to this gym after skiing all day, mind you, before we would go for dinner. Do my lift, do my cardio, even though we'd just been skiing all day.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: I remember even like bringing my food scale to some of our meals. I would wake up early before skiing and do my fasted cardio. It was just like way, way, way overboard. I remember another trip I went on where at the time I was carb cycling and I would do my high day the day before I trained delts. This was when I had like baby baby delts. So I would take my high day, my high carb day, the day before I trained delts. And so I did that on the trip planning on hitting delts the next day. The next day rolls around and our plans change, and like I'm not able to go to the gym when I originally planned to, and like I didn't have a car to drive myself to the gym. I was relying on family to take me there. And I was like adamant that I had to go to the gym. I'm like, no, I cannot miss this. You guys don't understand. Like I did my high day yesterday, so I have to go. Like it's not an option. When my god, in the grand scheme of things. It would not have hurt me at all to take a rest day. Like what so what I did my high day yesterday. Whatever. Like, I'm not gonna get fat from that, you know? but at the time I just didn't have that knowledge or understanding that I do today. And I think we all kind of go through that phase where we are like overly locked in, and then you come out the other side and you realize. But
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. Exactly.
Arabella: yeah, that's a major social sign, I would say. maybe like hiding. things from people who are close to you because you're afraid of what they're gonna say, what they're gonna think, them judging you. So like secretly going to the gym, eating differently when you're alone versus in front of other people. this is a big one. Not being fully honest with your coach.
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: Always, always, always be fully honest with your coach, even if you had something off plan, if you missed meals, if whatever it was, if you withhold information, they are not able to accurately help you. And that is one of the most frustrating things ever as a coach when like you're like, I swear, like we should be making progress. Why why is the math not mathing right now?
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. Yeah. No that's those are all good those are all good angles, yeah.
Arabella: Yeah. Yeah. And then one more, just being like too rigid with your schedule and not being flexible when it comes to plans with friends or
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: family or saying no to food or a restaurant suggestion because you don't like what's on the menu, because it it's not easy for you to track, that kind of thing. just go live your life, you know? Enjoy the dinner and then Move on from it and get back there. Yeah. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: Worry about it the next day. Yeah. And I do have to throw in there, if one meal out, which is low-key off topic, but not really, if having a meal outside, or if somebody's telling you having one meal outside is gonna ruin your progress because you're so peeled and so on, and that's gonna actually make you fat the next day, maybe it's time to take a step back and think: like maybe I'm not as shredded as I think I am or locked on my diet. Previously, that like one meal off or two meals off are going to set me back on all my progress. So
Arabella: Exactly.
Rutha Berhane: there's the bigger picture issue when it comes to that concept, which I always tell people, like, hey, if frozen yogurt's gonna ruin your progress, maybe the progress was not that good to begin with. Coming yeah,
Arabella: Yeah, there is a deeper issue there. Yes.
Rutha Berhane: coming from somebody who i is a frozen yogurt connoisseur numerous times a week. So anyways, yeah.
Arabella: And look at how much progress you're making in your off season right now. So
Rutha Berhane: Thank you so much, baddie Thank you. Sorry. Little skinny hand. Am I do you think I look little might fly away? Thank you. Thank you.
Arabella: Slaying yeah, yes, yeah.
Rutha Berhane: but yeah, after that, this brings us back to why the fitness industry makes it so much worse and which your topic ties to this about the social outing and so on. Because if I were to ask you right now, and you'd have to tell me if I told you where did that concept come from? come from where you do an activity all day but then you'd go and hit the gym. Why like where did that concept come from into your head? Because I don't think it was from thin air.
Arabella: It's it's the hustle culture, right? Like more and more and more. Like and seeing people who you look up to on social media being so locked in all the time and obviously them being your inspiration, you're like, okay, I have to check all my boxes. I cannot miss anything. If I want to be where they are, like I have to do what they do. And yeah, you really do become obsessed with it. And Social media also rewards extremes, right? Like you're shredded, it rewards that more than like a healthy body fat level.
Rutha Berhane: Sustainable body, yeah.
Arabella: if you are being extreme and post your five AM workout or your five a.m. cardio, or like, you know, you're
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: doing your fasted cardio and then you go skiing and then you go to the gym after, like, social media is like, my gosh, like look at this girl, like she's crazy. She's doing well. And
Rutha Berhane: That's where I wanna be in. Yeah.
Arabella: you get rewarded for it, right? Versus if you say, I'm actually taking this day off to rest, it's like people are like, why is she taking a step back? Is everything okay? Like weird. Yeah. And it's it's super
Rutha Berhane: Is it is she all right? Yeah. That's true. which
Arabella: backwards that way.
Rutha Berhane: very because well what does you know because everything at the end of the day is money and people who are pushing this benefit from something right and all these brands do so when people are rewarding like the industry profits from extremes as in it's rewarding more more and more so more supplements more training days more intensity the more you do the more you get out of life which is correct but to a certain extent The more you do sometimes gonna run you to the ground where you will have nothing else to give. And then guess what? You have to pivot your whole your whole mindset to something else because what you were planning originally is now stunted by the consequences of your actions, right? So when we're consuming all this and the hustle culture and the go, go, go kind of thing, no days off, somebody will come and tell you, actually, there's a more sustainable way to do this. And this is how you do it. People on social media shut that down so quickly because if it's not hard and intense, it will not work. The amount of aggressive cuts, aggressive cuts used to be a really big thing a few months ago or like beginning of summer or winter, I don't know. But aggressive cuts would be something you'd do in like eight weeks and you would drop like twenty, thirty pounds, and that's the only way to do it. And then people would come on and say, Hey no, actually if you
Arabella: What are you talking about? 30 pounds in eight weeks? No. I have
Rutha Berhane: Like dude, these people were eating eight hundred calories. Like
Arabella: not seen this. That is actually insane.
Rutha Berhane: Aggressive cuts because people it came from in my opinion, I think it came from people who have a background in bodybuilding and the knowledge and that would share their shredded physiques. And then to profit off of the brands they work with, what are they gonna do? Promote things. Hey, I got this peel doing this much cardio, this, this, and this, but they don't share what they did previously. 100%.
Arabella: Okay, they're lying to you though. They're not actually losing thirty pounds in eight weeks, like
Rutha Berhane: Hundred percent, hundred percent, which is so sad, but at the same time at
Arabella: It's impossible.
Rutha Berhane: the same time shredded physiques do get rewarded. And the thing is, the reason this thing didn't stick is because that wasn't happening for them. Nobody's losing 30 pounds in eight weeks. Nobody's gonna lose a sustainable amount of weight doing nonsense 25 eight, just running your body down to the ground. So nobody was benefiting. So then what are they gonna do? Give up after. Cause I would too. 'Cause if I was promised, hey, you'll get these results
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: after doing this and it didn't work, I'm gone. I'm gone.
Arabella: And that's most of the women I talk to too, they're like, I'm just so frustrated. Like I've tried XYZ and nothing's working for me, but you know, it works for so and so over there. I'm like you do not know the full picture. Like they are lying to you about what they're doing because yeah, they make profit. Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: And lying sells lying sells yeah. It's it's it's a lot, but
Arabella: And like even bodybuilding has this like stigma where, you know, you have to suffer in a prep. If you're not suffering in a prep, you're not going hard enough, you're not pushing yourself enough, you're not gonna be lean enough, which is so, so untrue.
Rutha Berhane: Like God forbid I enjoy the process. Like
Arabella: Yeah. God forbid I actually do it sustainably and like Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: I'm enjoying myself. fuck. Yeah.
Arabella: Yeah, of course you're probably gonna be suffering once you get lean enough because that's just the name of the game. Once you you know, the worse you feel, the better you look. But you do not always have to absolutely kill yourself. And that is coming from somebody who thankfully I'm so grateful, never I've never had a crazy extreme prep by any means. So it does not
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Arabella: have to be that way. If you are a competitor listening to this and you're questioning your hour and a half of cardio every single day starting at like eight weeks out, then you're not you're not wrong for questioning that. Not all the time.
Rutha Berhane: You're not wrong questioning it. Yeah, and I always tell people Yeah, and I always tell people like be jealous of those like in a competitor angle, like those who don't have to suffer 25-8 to get the the look that they want, who don't have to do hours of cardio and are like, This is so hard. Be jealous of the girls who are l are looking like they're enjoying the process, you know what I mean? Even the hard days, because that's where you're going to know that you're going to succeed properly because if you're just looking at the people that are like, this is the hardest thing I've ever done and you should suffer if you're happy, you're going to lose. If you keep looking at those people, you, your time and body building is going to be cut short expeditiously. You're not going to last long.
Arabella: No.
Rutha Berhane: Cause how long can you suffer for? Your mind's not going to let you do that for too long.
Arabella: Yeah, and then you're literally gonna have PTSD from your last prep. Like I'd never wanna put myself through that again because it was so bad when it does not that way. I know you do. Yeah. I know you do, but yeah. That's
Rutha Berhane: Yep. 'Cause I got PTSD two queen and no way I'm gonna do that again. Yeah, so mm.
Arabella: a perfect transition for our next segment here, which is like the competitor specific version. 'cause obviously competitive bodybuilding has a very unique relationship with obsession in the sense that like bodybuilding itself requires such A high level of focus, and we do have to be meticulous. And a lot of outsiders outside of the sport do view it as somewhat disordered in a way because they just don't understand that this is the level of rigidity that is required in order to achieve a certain level of stage leanness but like we've already established, I would say the question is. what happens, what does your life look like after prep ends? Because yes, prep requires that level of discipline, but you definitely can incorporate a little bit more flexibility in your offseason. And that transition can be incredibly difficult. It's something I struggle with every single time post-show is allowing myself to take a step back from that rigidity. you know I I even went on a trip like four weeks post-show I think last year. And I was so obsessed with like staying as lean as possible and not blowing up, not gaining weight too quickly because I had that pressure from social media too. I felt like I had a standard to uphold. and it is a large piece of my identity. It's a large piece of why people follow me. So I felt like I needed to like maintain this look when in reality That's not the case whatsoever. and I found myself, yeah, under eating on the trip. Like I would eat very, very little during the day so that I could go enjoy the dinner and not be stressed about it, even though my food was like already ridiculously high at this point in time. But yeah, that like prepto-off season transition is where the potential obsession does tend to surface because
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: you find your you catch yourself still. being so locked in on those prep habits that you can be a little bit more relaxed with in the off season.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, which is what people look at and you know, use to talk about the restrictive portion of it when they're not in the space because Like you said, the certain things you you do in prep, if they carry over to your off season to the extent that it was in prep. That is that is what's it called? That is asking for a issue, a big one, which can be either binge eating, restrictive eating, body image, whatever, which again cuts your time short, which not even blaming you, that would cut my time short too, because you never wanna be feeling like that in those cycles constantly because it is hard on the mind when it's just twenty five, eight that, but The weighing every gram. Cardio twice a day if you if you have to fasted and post-workout. because sometimes we get that in in prep, right? Like that's just how life goes. the weighing yourself every day, the paying, like you have your eyes on your body 25-8 in prep. When you're in your in your off season, and we do see people that do this, we do see people who promote, I don't believe in the amount of videos that I that make my head turn is In your your off season is nothing different, okay? Every single gram has to be weighed. You don't need an off-plan meal If your meal plan is done properly and it has everything that you need, you do not need an off-plan meal. What are you talking about right now? Like what
Arabella: I've heard that.
Rutha Berhane: are you even saying? And it's just so baffling because it's like I could I could love my meal plan. Like, right? And it's like I love my meals,
Arabella: If you love your meals enough, then you shouldn't feel the need to go eat off plan. Which okay.
Rutha Berhane: but I also love a steak.
Arabella: To an extent, yeah, you shouldn't be forcing yourself to follow a meal plan where you despise and dread every single meal. Like, yeah, you should be enjoying your meals on your meal plan, and that's why, like, I custom build all of my clients' meal plans 'cause I'm like, girl, tell me what you actually enjoy eating, we'll put that on your meal plan, 'cause like I don't wanna force chicken and rice down your throat if you hate chicken. But at the same time that is not gonna like that's not gonna stop your cravings for other foods. That's not a reason to not go enjoy a meal
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: out like it's absolutely mind boggling I don't have any explanation.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, that's like and it's so just it's so toxic because I see this. I've I've seen this from people in front of my bare eyes where I'm like, I can't surround myself with you because I if I pick up the same habits, like I'm gonna end up way worse. I'm gonna be somewhere else, okay? So
Arabella: not.
Rutha Berhane: I don't care if you're on plan twenty-five eight. Do not promote that like it's normal because that's not I don't care what anybody says, I really don't. You could be the best of the best. That's still not a mindset that works for everybody. You're just one off. Where it's like you live and breathe the shit cool. But if you're looking at somebody else being like, they're eating off plan, you don't need that because your meal plat has everything. Like you're just you're just l feeding your feelings. Yeah, I have big feelings. Let me get let me get a nice juicy steak outside. Don't care. Yeah,
Arabella: I will go enjoy my ice cream. Thank you so much.
Rutha Berhane: you can be miserable over there. I'm good here. I'm good here.
Arabella: This isn't about saying like fuck your meal plan, like go eat plan like multiple times a week, but recognize that you can have a free meal, you can go for sushi, you can go for that date night. And it's not gonna make or break your placing next season. And
Rutha Berhane: And if it does, it wasn't the food.
Arabella: there's definitely a deeper reason there. Literally, literally preach. Yeah. Something else that I wanna talk about that we see way too often is like when people really struggle with stepping back from prep and taking it
Rutha Berhane: Mm-hmm.
Arabella: off season. Like, just one more show, one more show. because and I understand why. It's because being in prep feeds your dopamine, right? Like you get a high off Being so locked in, checking all of your boxes and seeing the progress, seeing more shreds, seeing more lines come through. You really do become addicted and obsessed with that, and then transitioning out of that when the lines start to fade, when you gain more body fat, when you aren't seeing those daily changes anymore, you don't get that same hit of dopamine. And when you're not as controlled or structured as you are in prep, yeah, it's it is mentally challenging to take that step back, but like it's so needed and that one more show at the end of the day that you don't need is like only a waste of time, it's only gonna hold you back in the long run. And we see that so often with girls like competing year after year after year and like not
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, no, this is we do. We do. Yeah.
Arabella: not taking a step back and not enjoying rest of their life and
Rutha Berhane: Yeah.
Arabella: not making any progress at the end of the day because muscle growth takes time.
Rutha Berhane: 100%. And I and I and I feel that. Like you always want to be on stage and stuff and like it's fun and you see everybody competing and you kind of get FOMO. But when you find the ability to bench yourself, you will find more power in that than stepping on stage because you it's saying no to yourself is very hard, obviously. Saying no to yourself is very hard and understand that. But once you do it one time, when you get back to being in prep, it will feel so much better because you knew what you did was necessary. So yeah.
Arabella: Absolutely, absolutely. Yeah. And I think that's the perfect place to wrap up this episode. But just wanna leave you guys with like the bigger question here. which isn't really like am I dedicated or obsessed? It's rather like is this serving my life, is this adding to my life, or is it absolutely controlling my life and running it because
Rutha Berhane: And destructive, yeah.
Arabella: yeah, whether you're a bodybuilder, whether you're just going to the gym for lifestyle purposes, because you love going to the gym, whether you're on a weight loss journey, whatever it is, like whatever your goals are, they should always add to your life, right? Like they should improve your energy, your confidence, your overall health. it should give you a sense of purpose, maybe a sense of community, but when it starts subtracting from your life or it when it starts affecting your relationships, your spontaneity, your mental peace, when it's giving you more stress than de stressing you, then that is when you know something has really shifted and you need to take a step back.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah, when
Arabella: And you can still be disciplined. You can still be crushing your goals without
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. Yeah. And
Arabella: being overly obsessed. Obsessed.
Rutha Berhane: Yeah. If you see yourself Yeah, if you see yourself because we're very self-aware people, like we're human beings, if you see yourself putting this persona out to the public where from the outside looking in, you look locked in, focused, everything's good and everything, but then on the inside, the only stuff that you know, if it's constantly causing you anxiety, panic, and you're going every day just at a state of anxiety because of your obsession with something. That's when you have to realize that it your dedication is being disguised. Okay. So yeah. But everything else
Arabella: Yeah.
Rutha Berhane: you said, spot on.
Arabella: Absolutely. But if this resonated with you whatsoever, then please let us know because I would I know we would love to hear your experiences with this too, 'cause yeah, definitely something that everybody struggles with at some point in time. So yeah, hopefully you got some value from this and let us know your thoughts, comments, feelings in the comments and we will chat to y'all next week.
Rutha Berhane: Have a beautiful day. Bye.
Arabella: Bye.
