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- Welcome back to Shared Humanity.
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I am Nelba Márquez-Greene,
and in this podcast
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and video series,
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I talk to the humans behind
the headlines of gun violence.
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In a moment in history,
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we're all too often we focus on everything
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but our shared humanity.
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Today's guest is Abby Clements
and Abby Clements and I
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share a unique link.
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She was a teacher at Sandy Hook School
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and she was a teacher on Sandy Hook School
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December 14th, 2012,
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where I lost a daughter
and where Abby survived.
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And in today's episode,
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she's gonna talk to us
a bit about her activism
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and where she is now, what
survivor guilt looks like,
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part of her evolution of grief
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and what it's like to
have all of this in her,
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in front of a mom who lost a child
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and we're just grateful for her sharing.
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Do you remember the first day we met?
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- Well, first of all,
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thank you so much for having me, Nelba.
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We've known each other for a long time,
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and I do remember the first day we met.
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If I'm right, it was before
the school year started,
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I was setting up my classroom.
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- So 2012.
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- Right, 2012, and our secretary
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brought your beautiful family for a tour
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of our beautiful school--
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- Of our beautiful
school, Sandy Hook School.
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And I get to meet you and you
are setting up your classroom
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and so excited for this school year.
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- And I can see in my mind's eye
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as I can very clearly then
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your beautiful family coming in
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and our husbands are colleagues
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and I was very excited to
meet Jimmy to say hello
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and to welcome him,
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welcome you guys both
to Sandy Hook School,
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and excited that he is
starting at WestConn.
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- So we walk into your classroom
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and we realized that
we don't just have the
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kind of common experience
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of we're both gonna be at this school,
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our husbands are actually
educators at a different school
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together at Western
Connecticut State University,
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so smallest of worlds.
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I get to meet you and it's
obvious that you love teaching.
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Tell me what you loved
so much about teaching.
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You were teaching 32 years
about that evolution,
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about how you got started
and just some of the lessons
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you took away from that experience.
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- Well, my mother was a teacher.
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I never thought I'd be a teacher.
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Went to college, majored
in philosophy and French,
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and I had no intention of being a teacher.
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But that changed.
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I took a job in Manhattan
for a travel magazine,
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and I remember hanging up
a phone call that I took
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and saying to myself,
this is not what I want.
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I wanna make a difference and I love kids,
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and so I wanna be a teacher.
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And it came out of nowhere
and I had to go back to school
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because I didn't study education
and I never looked back.
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For me, even after the tragedy,
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connecting with kids
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and having fun with them
and watching them learn
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and seeing that spark has
always been what's kept me
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in teaching and what I
loved about teaching.
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- Yeah, yeah, I could
feel it, I could feel it
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even in that first day
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when I'm watching you
set up your classroom,
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you had real teacher
energy, the joy and the fun
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and the making things exciting.
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Do you have a favorite year of teaching?
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Do you have a favorite--
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- I don't, I remember kids really clearly.
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Sometimes I forget their names of course,
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but I have all of the photos
from the time I started,
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those class photos.
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But for sure the years post-tragedy,
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the kids who I had that year,
my then second graders who,
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most of whom finished their
first year of college now,
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I'm close with about six or seven of them.
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And even if I don't know them now,
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outside of that little crew,
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they're watching gun
violence unfold over and over
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on their phones, in the news, the stories
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that make the news.
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And I feel a tremendous responsibility
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and always have after.
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- You represent a cohort of teachers
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that almost never gets talked about.
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You represent a cohort of teachers
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impacted directly by gun
violence in the United States.
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And before we go there specifically,
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we talked a little bit
about the first day we met,
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that extraordinary energy,
that belief in hope,
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excitement for a new school year,
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not unlike many Americans
are facing right now.
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The next day we meet in
person is a little different.
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The next day we meet in person
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is actually in a firehouse.
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And we have two very
different experiences,
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but two experiences inextricably linked
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by gun violence.
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What would you say to anyone listening?
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- We have a problem in this
country and it's gun violence.
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Our surgeon general, Dr. Vik Murthy,
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just designated gun violence
as a public health crisis.
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It is the leading cause
of death of children
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in this country.
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So it's pervasive.
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Almost everyone knows someone
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if they haven't been
impacted by gun violence.
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And it's going to take all of us
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to pay attention to this problem.
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Like one of the reasons
why my friends and I
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started Teachers Unify is that
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we really haven't seen
a surge of programming
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and curricula coming out of
education spaces on this issue.
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And really, it's going to
take every intersectional
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group, organization,
space to make a commitment
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to try to curb gun violence.
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And you're right now, but we don't hear
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from educators,
paraeducators, administrators,
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and I think there are
complicated reasons for that.
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I don't think it's necessarily
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for a deceptive reason
why we don't hear from us,
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but we need to tell the stories.
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We need to break down the stigma of
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why you haven't moved on.
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What's taking you so long?
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I think it's complicated by
the way we approach grief
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in this country and we're
expected to just swallow it
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and go back to work in a heartbeat.
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- There's so much you just said right now
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that I really want to...
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First you talked about Teachers Unify,
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which I definitely wanna
make sure we get to
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and spend lots of time on.
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You just touched on something though
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that I think is the primary
myth of maybe why we don't hear
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from groups most impacted,
including teachers.
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We kind of have an expectation
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that teachers will just go back,
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that people after these kinds
of events will just go back
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and I certainly saw that.
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You know what, let me
dial it back a little bit.
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First of all, it's just a miracle
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that we're having this conversation.
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You and I hold very different
places and positions
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in the post-tragedy circle in Newtown.
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Like I am in this circle
as a bereaved parent.
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You are in this circle as a
teacher who was in the building
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and also impacted.
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Then there are first responders
and people who survived
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and witnesses in so many other places.
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This is very rare that
people in different parts
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of the circle actually talk.
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How are you feeling right now?
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Is it a little strange?
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- Well, it's certainly not easy
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because of that survivor guilt, that peace
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that just has been with me
and is a common experience
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and people who survive
something really hard
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when the worst happened
to people who you knew
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who were part of the community,
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even if you didn't know them directly.
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So that piece, I think it'll
always be there, like my God,
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like I would do anything to have changed
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the trajectory of this,
but to have the opportunity
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to spend time in the same space
with you means so much to me
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because not only on a personal level,
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because I adore you and your family,
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but because I think breaking
down these barriers,
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which really aren't there,
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but it's just part of, I
think the grieving process
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and what society expects
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and what's expected of
us in our daily lives
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that cause sometimes a
rift or not even a rift,
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but like you're just afraid to even...
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You might say the wrong thing
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or you don't know if that
person might approve of the way
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that you're moving through the aftermath
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where you want that, but
you also respect so much
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their own paths
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that you don't even wanna
impose on that space.
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So although it's complicated,
I think it's really important
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and if we want everyone in
this country to pay attention
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to this issue, to hold legislators
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and candidates accountable on this issue,
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then we have to be able to talk about it
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and we want people who've
never been impacted.
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One of our co-founders has never been,
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and I know even she feels
like this imposter syndrome.
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I'm like, my God,
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I would never want you to
be personally impacted,
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but we are all survivors of
gun violence in this country.
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We are all impacted because
of the pervasiveness of it
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and the fear.
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- So one common myth is that
you should be able to go back
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after a violent act
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and kind of save everyone
else as a teacher.
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Another one is that after tragedy,
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and you just talked about this,
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that we'll all kind of
have the same perspective.
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And when we don't have a same perspective,
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that there is conflict.
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And I guess depending on
where you are in the circle
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after tragedy on which concentric ring,
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you may hold a different perspective.
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I remember someone from
Newtown coming up to me
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and saying, why won't you let us march
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in front of the school on December 14th?
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First of all, I didn't
have that much power.
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I was just busy trying to survive,
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but it seemed like no matter
where you were in the ring,
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there was a different kind of approach
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or idea of what should happen
and even within those circles,
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there were also different opinions,
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but a few things tied us.
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And that's number one that
we all survived in event
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that happened December 14th, 2012,
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that we are all impacted
by grief on that day
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and everyday since,
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that we are all trying to
find a voice and a way forward
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that this has an impact on our family
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no matter where we are on the ring
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and that we're trying to figure out ways
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to move forward without
hurting one another,
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without creating conflict
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and you've been really clear on that.
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What does your grief look like today?
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- I think I carry that responsibility
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from my students that day,
take that very seriously.
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But also, same with you, I think,
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and other friends I have
who have been more impacted
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and I don't know where that comes from,
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probably just wanting
reassurance from people
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who you really care about
that there's a respect
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and at least doing things
in a respectful way
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without losing sight of the magnitude
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and the personal pieces,
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the narratives that are
so important to raise
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when it comes to gun violence.
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And then there's now the responsibility
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of Teachers Unify to
make sure that I'm trying
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to get a seat at the table for people
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who really don't get that when it comes
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to conversations about
safety and protocols
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and what it's like after
a tragedy like this.
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- It struck me as you were speaking
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that every other guest
we've had on the podcast
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has been someone who's
lost a family member,
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00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:25,830
a child or a parent to gun violence.
259
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:30,830
And that very often, we don't count people
260
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:36,540
who don't lose a person as
victims of gun violence.
261
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:41,253
How does gun violence impact you uniquely?
262
00:14:42,870 --> 00:14:47,613
- So this is a hard question
for me because again,
263
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:52,140
so much worse could have
happened and did happen.
264
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:54,300
So I tend not to wanna talk about it,
265
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:56,600
but I think it's also
important to talk about.
266
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:02,600
So just among people who...
267
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:07,320
My colleagues and also
people who I've met,
268
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,020
other survivors in the Gun
Violence Prevention Movement
269
00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:13,743
who have also survived school shootings.
270
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:22,160
There's the physical changes
'cause the rise of anxiety
271
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,713
and that could cause
certain things with crowds,
272
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,693
physical manifestations, sometimes,
273
00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:38,330
especially when I'm talking
about it, those are harder.
274
00:15:38,467 --> 00:15:42,400
And then there are
relationships that change
275
00:15:43,406 --> 00:15:45,690
depending on what direction
you may have gone to
276
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:47,640
in terms of moving forward.
277
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,940
And it really does
shift things in a family
278
00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:52,800
and within your friends
279
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:57,780
and that's really hard and
it also affects your work.
280
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:03,930
My husband is a writer
and also a professor
281
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,809
at Western Connecticut State University.
282
00:16:06,809 --> 00:16:09,040
And for him, his writing
completely changed
283
00:16:09,962 --> 00:16:12,840
and he couldn't write for
many years, many years.
284
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,850
And I know he doesn't like
to talk about that either,
285
00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:17,103
because he's like, well my God.
286
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,540
But those things are real
287
00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:26,540
and a decision to stay
in the same workplace,
288
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,463
a decision to stay in the same town,
289
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:36,210
all of those are very real
and difficult decisions
290
00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:38,573
that people have to make
when they're impacted
291
00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:40,260
by a tragedy of this magnitude.
292
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:43,380
- I think it's really important to say
293
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:46,620
that while this conversation
might be uncomfortable,
294
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:50,580
it is critically important to have
295
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:55,580
because every individual
and every concentric ring
296
00:16:57,990 --> 00:17:01,743
after tragedy feels something.
297
00:17:03,150 --> 00:17:06,213
We don't feel the same
things and thank goodness.
298
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,700
I don't want for you to
have to have lost a person
299
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,623
in order to make this real.
300
00:17:14,956 --> 00:17:17,730
I want you to know that as far as for me,
301
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:20,970
I'm thankful you didn't lose a person.
302
00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:24,900
I'm just sad I lost a person
and I'm incredibly grateful
303
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:28,772
for your willingness to
engage in this conversation
304
00:17:28,772 --> 00:17:29,730
'cause I know it must be terrifying
305
00:17:29,730 --> 00:17:32,406
to sit across from a parent and say,
306
00:17:32,406 --> 00:17:33,720
here's how it impacted me.
307
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,910
So thank you for taking that risk.
308
00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:38,970
Part of relationship takes risks,
309
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,470
but in order to take those risks,
310
00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:43,286
you have to have a foundation of trust.
311
00:17:43,286 --> 00:17:45,480
And I can't overemphasize enough,
312
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,750
I can't emphasize enough the importance
313
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:53,130
of working really hard to
have trusting relationships
314
00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:54,750
because that is a foundation
315
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:58,680
for where we can take these
risks to create solutions,
316
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:03,680
to create understanding,
to have community.
317
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,660
Survivors need community.
318
00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:09,909
I mean, if we can get an
amen at any point in this,
319
00:18:09,909 --> 00:18:12,150
it's gonna be right here,
survivors need community.
320
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:15,540
But so often that community is interrupted
321
00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:18,330
by all of the gobbledygook
that comes from the outside
322
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,980
and sometimes from inside each other
323
00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:21,830
because we're just trying to survive.
324
00:18:23,919 --> 00:18:24,960
Did you have anything to add to that?
325
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,580
- Oh, I think you're right 100%
326
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:31,470
and I know that it often feels very lonely
327
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:34,350
in that space where you don't know...
328
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:37,860
Suddenly, you don't even
really recognize who you are
329
00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:41,310
and now you are wanting to
do things completely outside
330
00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:46,310
of your comfort zone and your
friends aren't really into it.
331
00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:52,290
But it was the community for
me that got me through it
332
00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:56,070
and it was more of a survivor
333
00:18:56,070 --> 00:19:01,070
and advocacy community
where I found like people
334
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:05,790
who suddenly found themselves
wanting to do things
335
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:08,400
that were outside of
their comfort zone too,
336
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:12,993
to try even in the smallest
ways to make a change.
337
00:19:14,190 --> 00:19:18,300
- You talked about an
element that is unique to you
338
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:19,893
and outside of my circle,
339
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:23,163
and that's survivor guilt.
340
00:19:25,273 --> 00:19:30,183
What does survivor guilt
mean and look like to you?
341
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:36,360
- I think, and if you
read different things
342
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:40,350
about like Holocaust
survivors, this is similar.
343
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:45,120
Like why did he turn
left instead of right,
344
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:48,573
it was the second classroom on the right.
345
00:19:49,743 --> 00:19:50,993
What do you do with that?
346
00:19:53,886 --> 00:19:57,053
What do you do with that feeling of...
347
00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:03,900
I know the word lucky
is like a terrible word
348
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:07,413
in the gun violence space, but ew,
349
00:20:08,467 --> 00:20:12,060
like to have that, to be like who I was,
350
00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:17,060
that I survived with my
kids running out of that
351
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,320
building that day.
352
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:26,487
So I often say, what do I do with that?
353
00:20:26,487 --> 00:20:31,487
It's a weight and it's
been there from that day
354
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:36,960
and I don't think I
knew what to do with it.
355
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,480
And I knew I had to be
a little bit patient
356
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,920
because I knew I had to
go back for those students
357
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:47,007
in just a few days, but--
358
00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:49,413
- Had to or chose to?
359
00:20:53,007 --> 00:20:55,203
- So it is kind of a common weird thing.
360
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:57,330
I mean, not all of us
obviously feel this way,
361
00:20:57,330 --> 00:21:02,330
but the responsibility to
be there gave you direction
362
00:21:06,630 --> 00:21:08,614
and told you what...
363
00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:12,830
Like, it led you as to what to do
364
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:15,707
in those days, hours after.
365
00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:16,857
So you just kind of...
366
00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:25,633
You were like, well of course
I'm gonna be there for my kid.
367
00:21:25,633 --> 00:21:29,610
Like how am I not gonna
show up, I have to be there.
368
00:21:29,610 --> 00:21:30,990
There was not a question
369
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:33,090
and then it was the same
for the following year
370
00:21:33,090 --> 00:21:36,117
and you hear this and it
is a common experience
371
00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:41,700
that there was a clear responsibility
372
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,156
and that you just knew
you were gonna be there
373
00:21:44,156 --> 00:21:46,230
for those kids, the kids
after, the kids after,
374
00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:50,400
but then there's a commonality
375
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,860
in some school shooting survivors
376
00:21:52,860 --> 00:21:56,460
who then when maybe the kids all graduate
377
00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:59,160
or you don't have any more
siblings coming through
378
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,880
or as many, then you think
379
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:04,500
now you get to really ask the question,
380
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,009
is this really good for me?
381
00:22:07,009 --> 00:22:09,120
Is this what I wanna be doing?
382
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,700
Is this right, I didn't even take a breath
383
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:13,020
except in the summertime
384
00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:15,209
where we didn't know
what to do with ourselves
385
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:16,590
with that time.
386
00:22:16,590 --> 00:22:20,455
- I still don't know
that this is a phenomenon
387
00:22:20,455 --> 00:22:24,120
that the regular public who has
been spared this experience,
388
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:27,780
perhaps they haven't had an
active mass tragedy happen
389
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:30,300
in one school district in one day,
390
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,749
in one school building in one day.
391
00:22:32,749 --> 00:22:34,800
I don't know that it's
something people understand
392
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,480
the amount of fortitude.
393
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,370
That's why I wanna frame it as a choice
394
00:22:38,370 --> 00:22:40,650
'cause if we just frame
it as an automatic,
395
00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:45,270
then we don't recognize the,
and I don't wanna say heroism,
396
00:22:45,270 --> 00:22:47,363
but we don't recognize the...
397
00:22:50,730 --> 00:22:52,050
Sometimes I get mad at myself
398
00:22:52,050 --> 00:22:54,360
because I can't think of the right words
399
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:55,560
and I then I say, no, give yourself grace
400
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,907
because you can't think of the right words
401
00:22:57,907 --> 00:22:59,190
because this is pretty horrific.
402
00:22:59,190 --> 00:23:04,190
But you and other teachers,
my sons included, went back,
403
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,590
went back and committed to being a stable,
404
00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:15,180
predictable force for siblings
405
00:23:15,180 --> 00:23:19,410
who had lost siblings and for students
406
00:23:19,410 --> 00:23:22,119
who had experienced in the worst.
407
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:26,820
And I can tell you that as
a mother, the way our family
408
00:23:26,820 --> 00:23:30,010
survived those early days was knowing
409
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,460
that Isaiah had that one thing
410
00:23:34,530 --> 00:23:38,880
and Isaiah's teacher that
returned that year, last year,
411
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,400
attended his graduation from high school
412
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,850
and we could not be more grateful to her
413
00:23:44,850 --> 00:23:48,240
and yet we recognize,
just from our perspective,
414
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,560
outside of her circle,
the cost it must have
415
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:53,883
for her to have done that.
416
00:23:55,032 --> 00:23:57,720
Seems like we are a country
that romanticizes teachers
417
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,820
after they die in a school shooting,
418
00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:03,900
but doesn't give them what
they need while they're living
419
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,150
to show up every day to teach our kids
420
00:24:06,150 --> 00:24:08,760
and if I could change one
thing, that's what it would be.
421
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,370
It's great to romanticize
people after they're gone,
422
00:24:11,370 --> 00:24:14,250
how about what we support
them while they're here?
423
00:24:14,250 --> 00:24:17,520
So I can get a little heated
about that, but let me go on.
424
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,493
You were explaining to
me about survivor guilt
425
00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:23,580
and the importance and how
it gave you kind of purpose
426
00:24:23,580 --> 00:24:26,011
and direction for going back.
427
00:24:26,011 --> 00:24:27,480
I do wanna make sure I don't gloss over
428
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,520
that that too was a choice
429
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,670
and whatever choice you
make for your family,
430
00:24:32,670 --> 00:24:34,023
we should respect.
431
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,770
As a family in that school,
432
00:24:37,770 --> 00:24:40,290
I do wanna recognize though
433
00:24:40,290 --> 00:24:44,160
that we benefited from that
choice of teachers returning
434
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,963
and honor so much.
435
00:24:46,890 --> 00:24:48,930
- Even my son's teacher at the time,
436
00:24:48,930 --> 00:24:52,173
he was at Reed School, his teacher,
437
00:24:53,191 --> 00:24:54,930
when I saw her again in January,
438
00:24:54,930 --> 00:24:59,130
put her hands on my shoulders and said,
439
00:24:59,130 --> 00:25:00,603
I will take care of Jacob.
440
00:25:01,530 --> 00:25:04,233
You just leave that to me a little bit.
441
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:10,280
She showed up too and I
was like, so incredibly,
442
00:25:10,836 --> 00:25:12,532
I'll always be incredibly grateful.
443
00:25:12,532 --> 00:25:15,210
I just told her that recently in an email
444
00:25:15,210 --> 00:25:18,060
that we recently connected on.
445
00:25:18,060 --> 00:25:23,060
So I think that teachers
were not sharp shooters.
446
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,610
We are not taught what to do
447
00:25:29,610 --> 00:25:32,880
as part of our teacher certification
448
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,250
and like check this box
if you're willing to
449
00:25:37,830 --> 00:25:42,630
be a shield in a situation,
but you just would
450
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,124
as you would with any loved one.
451
00:25:46,124 --> 00:25:49,080
So obviously when they
come back, if you can
452
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,985
and if it's the right
thing for you, then we did,
453
00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:58,128
but it certainly wasn't easy
454
00:25:58,128 --> 00:26:00,180
and you always felt like
people were watching you
455
00:26:00,180 --> 00:26:01,013
to make sure that...
456
00:26:01,013 --> 00:26:03,540
I mean, and I get that in a way
457
00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:05,868
because when I came back to,
458
00:26:05,868 --> 00:26:07,860
and we were in that other building,
459
00:26:07,860 --> 00:26:09,720
I didn't want anybody
to leave for a second
460
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,430
so every time they had
to go to the bathroom,
461
00:26:11,430 --> 00:26:14,727
I would take the entire class with me.
462
00:26:14,727 --> 00:26:17,670
I was like, nobody is leaving my side
463
00:26:17,670 --> 00:26:18,750
for a little while.
464
00:26:18,750 --> 00:26:21,570
- The nest you made and we were all
465
00:26:21,570 --> 00:26:26,570
trying to make some kind of
nest and that is understandable.
466
00:26:29,820 --> 00:26:34,510
I will stop for a second
to tell you a story.
467
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,980
So that happened in December
468
00:26:37,980 --> 00:26:40,740
and Anna Grace's birthday was in April
469
00:26:40,740 --> 00:26:43,590
and I don't know if you've
ever heard me tell the story
470
00:26:43,590 --> 00:26:47,223
that Isaiah comes home from
school in March and says,
471
00:26:48,059 --> 00:26:50,730
what are we gonna do for Anna's birthday?
472
00:26:50,730 --> 00:26:55,620
And I say, I don't know,
what would you like to do?
473
00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:58,620
And he says, I would really like to have
474
00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:02,613
a Wii Just Dance party
because Anna really loved Wii,
475
00:27:04,050 --> 00:27:09,050
and I'm thinking to myself,
I have to call his teacher
476
00:27:09,570 --> 00:27:13,200
who has just survived a school
shooting alongside my son
477
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,090
and tell her that this child would like
478
00:27:15,090 --> 00:27:19,780
a Wii Just Dance party
at school for his sister
479
00:27:20,621 --> 00:27:21,930
and to just kind of feel her out
480
00:27:21,930 --> 00:27:24,120
and see if this is something
we're gonna put together
481
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:25,835
at school or at home
482
00:27:25,835 --> 00:27:27,090
'cause he also wanted to
do it with his classmates
483
00:27:27,090 --> 00:27:30,868
and this teacher that I called just to...
484
00:27:30,868 --> 00:27:32,100
And then I think she may
have called me and said,
485
00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:36,210
how would you like us to
honor Anna's birthday?
486
00:27:36,210 --> 00:27:40,488
And I said, well, Isaiah
wants a Wii Just Dance party,
487
00:27:40,488 --> 00:27:41,321
but I completely understand
488
00:27:41,321 --> 00:27:43,560
if this isn't something that could happen
489
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,320
to which she responded, we've got this,
490
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,100
and this teacher
491
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:53,490
pulled in a big TV into the cafeteria.
492
00:27:53,490 --> 00:27:55,380
There were many adults involved
493
00:27:55,380 --> 00:27:59,496
and they Wii Just Danced on that April 4th
494
00:27:59,496 --> 00:28:00,480
in honor of Anna Grace
495
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:05,010
and that is something that I
will forever be grateful for.
496
00:28:05,010 --> 00:28:08,310
So to the teachers of Sandy Hook School,
497
00:28:08,310 --> 00:28:11,520
of any of them who are listening to this,
498
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,080
if you went home, I thank you.
499
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,910
If you took care of your
family, I thank you.
500
00:28:14,910 --> 00:28:15,743
If you went to work
501
00:28:15,743 --> 00:28:18,240
and that's how you took care
of your family, I thank you.
502
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,480
In every way you did
and you are still here,
503
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,130
I thank you for that.
504
00:28:23,130 --> 00:28:27,120
So pivoting now to you keep
talking about responsibility
505
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:30,540
and you felt an overwhelming
sense of responsibility
506
00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:32,520
and part of how you operationalize
507
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,370
your sense of responsibility
and you're still being here,
508
00:28:35,370 --> 00:28:39,870
your survivor guilt too was in activism.
509
00:28:39,870 --> 00:28:42,123
Tell me about your evolution of activism.
510
00:28:43,410 --> 00:28:47,130
- I mean, I was always
somebody who I voted,
511
00:28:47,130 --> 00:28:49,323
I paid attention to the news.
512
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,560
Definitely as a parent, made sure
513
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,870
that there were foundations
that you pass along
514
00:28:57,870 --> 00:28:58,960
about right and wrong
515
00:29:00,045 --> 00:29:01,710
and justice and injustices of this country
516
00:29:03,780 --> 00:29:07,200
and went to a few protests in my 20s,
517
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,630
but I wouldn't have
called myself an activist
518
00:29:09,630 --> 00:29:13,710
before what happened and I
wasn't really planning it,
519
00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:15,900
but our daughter at the time was 16
520
00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:19,980
and she was the first one in the family
521
00:29:19,980 --> 00:29:22,830
to become an activist.
522
00:29:22,830 --> 00:29:24,150
- Sarah, who's amazing,
523
00:29:24,150 --> 00:29:25,600
who's in law school right now
524
00:29:26,544 --> 00:29:27,833
at George Washington, hi Sarah.
525
00:29:29,131 --> 00:29:31,860
- At Georgetown, no that's fine, still DC.
526
00:29:31,860 --> 00:29:32,693
It's all good.
527
00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:40,250
Yes, in fact, I would
drive her to meetings
528
00:29:40,679 --> 00:29:41,679
and wait in the car.
529
00:29:42,752 --> 00:29:45,060
I even remember like
getting out of the car
530
00:29:45,060 --> 00:29:46,260
and waiting in the hall.
531
00:29:47,342 --> 00:29:49,055
She was taking a long time or something
532
00:29:49,055 --> 00:29:51,885
and like hiding behind the wall,
533
00:29:51,885 --> 00:29:52,890
like I wasn't ready yet.
534
00:29:52,890 --> 00:29:57,873
And she mobilized and
got involved right away.
535
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:05,000
And then I was actually
invited to an event
536
00:30:05,310 --> 00:30:07,170
at somebody's house I didn't know
537
00:30:07,170 --> 00:30:08,550
and we were gonna go together.
538
00:30:08,550 --> 00:30:11,110
So I was like, ah, I think I can do this.
539
00:30:11,110 --> 00:30:13,050
It was toward the end of the school year,
540
00:30:13,050 --> 00:30:18,050
been a few months now,
thought I could do it with her
541
00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:20,880
and then my daughter couldn't go.
542
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,530
I said, well, I'm not gonna
go, I can't go by myself.
543
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:29,460
But I decided to go and found my way.
544
00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:32,700
It was confusing directions.
545
00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:37,700
Went into a house that was full of people
546
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,791
dedicated to having a
conversation about gun violence
547
00:30:43,791 --> 00:30:45,090
and about what it's
like in Connecticut now.
548
00:30:45,090 --> 00:30:48,873
My gosh, what happened
here and what can we do?
549
00:30:50,459 --> 00:30:53,909
And I immediately felt
like these were my people.
550
00:30:53,909 --> 00:30:56,340
I just knew it in my bones.
551
00:30:56,340 --> 00:31:00,210
It was like, I think I can
might be able to do this.
552
00:31:00,210 --> 00:31:03,520
I actually told my
story for the first time
553
00:31:05,250 --> 00:31:07,410
in front of people I didn't know
554
00:31:07,410 --> 00:31:11,943
and there was not a dry eye in the room.
555
00:31:13,050 --> 00:31:17,580
People were, as we know from
our tragedy, forever changed
556
00:31:17,580 --> 00:31:22,580
and such fear and such
grief about what happened
557
00:31:25,710 --> 00:31:29,820
just in a town nearby that
they were just activated
558
00:31:29,820 --> 00:31:33,840
and I loved that feeling
like I'm gonna work
559
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,763
with these people and I don't know,
560
00:31:36,630 --> 00:31:38,070
we're gonna go to farmer's markets
561
00:31:38,070 --> 00:31:40,879
and sign people up and talk to people.
562
00:31:40,879 --> 00:31:43,750
Just whatever it was, I
know I wasn't thinking like
563
00:31:44,727 --> 00:31:46,981
that there were going to
necessarily be laws change.
564
00:31:46,981 --> 00:31:50,580
In fact, I was very cynical
and knew where we came from
565
00:31:50,580 --> 00:31:53,010
and knew where we were at this moment
566
00:31:53,010 --> 00:31:55,170
and what it was looking like
567
00:31:55,170 --> 00:31:58,083
in terms of any possibility
for federal change.
568
00:31:58,967 --> 00:32:01,650
But I just knew it and from
there, I went to a conference.
569
00:32:01,650 --> 00:32:05,220
I was invited to travel to Denver,
570
00:32:05,220 --> 00:32:09,060
and I met survivors
from different tragedies
571
00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:14,060
and there's just a bond there
and listening to their stories
572
00:32:15,510 --> 00:32:19,878
and just had this sense
573
00:32:19,878 --> 00:32:22,328
that these were the people
I needed to be around.
574
00:32:24,180 --> 00:32:28,620
- And you went from that to joining groups
575
00:32:28,620 --> 00:32:31,200
to starting your own.
576
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,300
Tell us about Teachers Unify.
577
00:32:33,300 --> 00:32:36,870
- So I volunteered for...
578
00:32:36,870 --> 00:32:40,560
I was a Moms Demand Action
volunteer for 10 years,
579
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:44,760
almost a decade and it's great,
580
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:48,474
they have different
opportunities for you to do.
581
00:32:48,474 --> 00:32:52,110
I started out one thing, ended
up doing three other things.
582
00:32:52,110 --> 00:32:53,940
They have a survivor network,
583
00:32:53,940 --> 00:32:56,160
still involved with their survivor network
584
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,430
and I met incredible people
I'm still friends with today
585
00:32:59,430 --> 00:33:04,184
from every town,
586
00:33:04,184 --> 00:33:07,530
programs and opportunities that
they have for volunteering.
587
00:33:07,530 --> 00:33:09,660
But along the way, I was always waiting
588
00:33:09,660 --> 00:33:12,240
for a teacher organization.
589
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:16,140
I was always aware that there
was kind of a population,
590
00:33:16,140 --> 00:33:20,070
very large population of working people
591
00:33:20,070 --> 00:33:22,680
who are on the front lines of this issue
592
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:26,444
who haven't really been
brought in personally
593
00:33:26,444 --> 00:33:28,050
to the movement.
594
00:33:28,050 --> 00:33:29,610
And I was kind of hoping and waiting
595
00:33:29,610 --> 00:33:31,830
and I would talk to
different groups about it
596
00:33:31,830 --> 00:33:33,630
and oh, that's a good idea
597
00:33:33,630 --> 00:33:35,190
and like, we've been thinking about it,
598
00:33:35,190 --> 00:33:38,103
but it hadn't happened yet.
599
00:33:39,030 --> 00:33:42,270
And after yet another shooting,
600
00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:45,690
another school shooting this
time in Oxford, Michigan
601
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:50,457
on November 30th, 2021, two activists,
602
00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:55,110
teacher friends of mine
and I were in a group chat,
603
00:33:55,110 --> 00:33:56,880
very much like group chats
604
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,697
that Americans have across the country
605
00:33:59,697 --> 00:34:04,697
after these heinous shootings
happen over and over.
606
00:34:05,220 --> 00:34:06,990
Are you okay, oh my God,
did you see the news?
607
00:34:06,990 --> 00:34:08,160
What is happening?
608
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,610
Again, it's like a hamster wheel.
609
00:34:10,610 --> 00:34:12,480
What are we doing, where are the teachers?
610
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,823
We never hear from the teachers.
611
00:34:14,823 --> 00:34:15,996
Why aren't we ever here for today?
612
00:34:15,996 --> 00:34:18,483
So we're texting and
texting and I said to them,
613
00:34:21,390 --> 00:34:23,260
why is there no national organization
614
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:25,397
for teachers by teachers?
615
00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:26,850
Do you wanna start it,
do you wanna start one?
616
00:34:26,850 --> 00:34:28,260
And they said yes.
617
00:34:28,260 --> 00:34:30,960
And all full-time teachers,
618
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,600
one is a survivor of the Parkland tragedy
619
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,300
and one is a New York City activist
620
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:38,130
and they just trump right on it.
621
00:34:38,130 --> 00:34:41,460
We had a name, I mean they
are fast and they are savvy.
622
00:34:41,460 --> 00:34:46,460
We had our website, everything
within a matter of days.
623
00:34:49,530 --> 00:34:52,170
And I am so proud of where we are
624
00:34:52,170 --> 00:34:57,170
almost three years into
this, we have about 15,000
625
00:34:58,650 --> 00:35:00,360
educators and supporters.
626
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,240
This is retired people,
paraeducators, counselors.
627
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:05,383
When we say teachers, we mean
everybody works in a school.
628
00:35:05,383 --> 00:35:08,730
- Educators, staff,
anyone within the network
629
00:35:08,730 --> 00:35:10,440
of school buildings.
630
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,750
- Exactly, including retired people,
631
00:35:12,750 --> 00:35:15,397
because there are a lot of
retired teachers out there
632
00:35:15,397 --> 00:35:17,079
who are very worried about this.
633
00:35:17,079 --> 00:35:19,350
- Some of them who retire
because of the climate
634
00:35:19,350 --> 00:35:21,390
of violence that exists
within our schools.
635
00:35:21,390 --> 00:35:25,900
- Yeah, exactly, and our
mission is to empower educators
636
00:35:26,786 --> 00:35:28,560
and school staff to speak out about this
637
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,530
and to demand the communities
are safe from gun violence,
638
00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:32,790
not only school shootings,
639
00:35:32,790 --> 00:35:36,270
but what kids are coming into class from,
640
00:35:36,270 --> 00:35:39,180
what they're experiencing
on a daily basis.
641
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:42,400
- I always say that
whatever we don't resolve
642
00:35:43,950 --> 00:35:48,033
in our society ends up
in a teacher's laugh.
643
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,113
Whatever we don't resolve in society
644
00:35:51,113 --> 00:35:53,580
ends up in the laugh of a teacher
645
00:35:53,580 --> 00:35:55,020
because in the classroom,
646
00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:58,083
you don't get to choose who's
in there, you get everything.
647
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,422
So does teachers...
648
00:36:01,422 --> 00:36:06,422
So Teachers Unify empowers and
gathers the voices of retired
649
00:36:07,140 --> 00:36:10,563
and current teachers, staff,
650
00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:14,580
and do you take position statements?
651
00:36:14,580 --> 00:36:16,500
Tell me what else that you do.
652
00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:21,060
- So we work very closely with the union
653
00:36:21,060 --> 00:36:24,360
and actually the three
co-founders all are members
654
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,240
of which is the American
Federation of Teachers,
655
00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:31,890
who they have been part of the aftermath
656
00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:35,190
and the conversation about school safety
657
00:36:35,190 --> 00:36:37,893
and the impact of gun violence.
658
00:36:39,150 --> 00:36:42,450
Since the tragedy, they
came to Sandy Hook.
659
00:36:42,450 --> 00:36:46,320
We maintained a relationship
with their leaders
660
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:50,130
over many years and then
after the Parkland tragedy,
661
00:36:50,130 --> 00:36:54,120
the students really encouraged the unions
662
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,125
to get further involved.
663
00:36:56,125 --> 00:36:57,840
So we work very closely with the union
664
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:02,310
and we run webinars and panels
665
00:37:02,310 --> 00:37:04,770
and have discussions about how do you talk
666
00:37:04,770 --> 00:37:06,183
to kids about gun violence?
667
00:37:07,119 --> 00:37:10,350
How do you allow them to
bring this into the classroom?
668
00:37:10,350 --> 00:37:15,125
How do we help educators
669
00:37:15,125 --> 00:37:16,950
and school staff approach principals
670
00:37:16,950 --> 00:37:21,950
and school leaders when the
drills are not trauma-informed.
671
00:37:23,460 --> 00:37:25,170
Some of 'em are heinous
672
00:37:25,170 --> 00:37:27,783
that kids and adults are going through.
673
00:37:28,830 --> 00:37:31,080
So we are working on some toolkits
674
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,440
and resources for educators to help them
675
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,480
through those kinds of things
676
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:40,863
and what we're finding is
that everyone has a story.
677
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,940
They remember what happened in Newtown,
678
00:37:44,940 --> 00:37:48,153
it impacted their teaching, but every day,
679
00:37:49,125 --> 00:37:51,420
teachers right now are
setting up their classrooms
680
00:37:51,420 --> 00:37:52,740
and they're thinking about it.
681
00:37:52,740 --> 00:37:54,333
They're looking and saying,
682
00:37:55,171 --> 00:37:56,520
is this really the place
where I'm supposed to hide?
683
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,083
Is this the right spot?
684
00:37:59,159 --> 00:38:01,263
Is this where they're going to tell me?
685
00:38:01,263 --> 00:38:06,000
- Am I willing to die to save my students
686
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,500
when I wanna get home?
687
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:10,650
My mother was a public
school teacher for 32 years
688
00:38:10,650 --> 00:38:12,780
and I know she would have,
689
00:38:12,780 --> 00:38:15,030
I just don't think she should have had to.
690
00:38:15,030 --> 00:38:16,500
Another thing that's really frustrating
691
00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:18,840
is when we don't offer education
692
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,290
in the absence of good
education about alternative ways
693
00:38:22,290 --> 00:38:25,020
of asking for help and doing the drills,
694
00:38:25,020 --> 00:38:30,020
we get desperate and we do
dumb things like saying, well,
695
00:38:30,712 --> 00:38:33,840
maybe we should put
more guns in classrooms,
696
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,820
which quite frankly, like it or not,
697
00:38:35,820 --> 00:38:38,430
I'm gonna take a position now
698
00:38:38,430 --> 00:38:40,530
and say we don't have any data,
699
00:38:40,530 --> 00:38:43,290
which tells us that that
would make anyone safer.
700
00:38:43,290 --> 00:38:45,900
That is something we say
because we are scared,
701
00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:47,760
because we are desperate,
702
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,407
but the data doesn't bear that out.
703
00:38:50,407 --> 00:38:52,102
Does Teachers Unify take a position on it?
704
00:38:52,102 --> 00:38:53,795
- 100% we're against arming teachers.
705
00:38:53,795 --> 00:38:55,200
I mean, we say the same thing.
706
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,870
The phrasing that we're talking
using right now is that,
707
00:38:57,870 --> 00:39:00,660
first of all, it's absurd that a teacher,
708
00:39:00,660 --> 00:39:05,190
somebody who's talking about who louds
709
00:39:05,190 --> 00:39:08,610
the concepts of non-violence
710
00:39:08,610 --> 00:39:11,220
and we lift up those in history
711
00:39:11,220 --> 00:39:14,130
who have taken stances on that
712
00:39:14,130 --> 00:39:16,290
and how do you make change in that way
713
00:39:16,290 --> 00:39:19,950
and then you're gonna strap on a firearm,
714
00:39:19,950 --> 00:39:24,297
it's a contradiction and it's
also incredibly dangerous.
715
00:39:24,297 --> 00:39:25,963
And you're right, there is no data.
716
00:39:25,963 --> 00:39:26,796
In fact, the data tells us the opposite
717
00:39:26,796 --> 00:39:31,796
that if there is a gun in the
home, then we're less safe.
718
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,540
- Yep, we know we're less safe.
719
00:39:33,540 --> 00:39:35,040
Another thing I really wanna make sure
720
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,170
we don't end this episode
without talking about
721
00:39:37,170 --> 00:39:38,670
is there has been gun violence
722
00:39:38,670 --> 00:39:40,560
in this country long before Newtown.
723
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,320
Newtown elevated the
conversation to a point
724
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,550
where it could not be ignored,
725
00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:46,860
but part of the reason we
had ignored it before that
726
00:39:46,860 --> 00:39:49,123
was obviously racism
727
00:39:49,123 --> 00:39:51,516
and obviously because we
care more about people
728
00:39:51,516 --> 00:39:53,880
in certain zip codes over
others, but before Newtown,
729
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,640
there have been teachers in zip codes
730
00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:01,020
and in areas across the
country who also had to go back
731
00:40:01,020 --> 00:40:05,370
and deal with a classroom
with an empty desk
732
00:40:05,370 --> 00:40:09,210
because of community
violence, because of suicide,
733
00:40:09,210 --> 00:40:13,500
because of a act of gun
violence that happened
734
00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:16,170
to a singular person on one day
735
00:40:16,170 --> 00:40:18,540
and those have to matter to us too
736
00:40:18,540 --> 00:40:22,320
and I'm sure that Teachers Unify platforms
737
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:27,320
and speaks to and makes a
tent wide enough for all,
738
00:40:27,570 --> 00:40:32,100
not just mass shootings and
just knowing who you are
739
00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:33,630
and knowing a little bit
about your co-founders
740
00:40:33,630 --> 00:40:37,290
and preparation for this episode,
741
00:40:37,290 --> 00:40:39,570
just really wanna thank
you for your committed work
742
00:40:39,570 --> 00:40:43,620
and your position and taking the stand.
743
00:40:43,620 --> 00:40:45,030
You remind me a little bit of Miss Rachel.
744
00:40:45,030 --> 00:40:48,720
I heard Miss Rachel do a
talk, a graduation talk,
745
00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:52,927
and she said she was hoping
for resources for her child
746
00:40:52,927 --> 00:40:53,760
and she was saying,
747
00:40:54,633 --> 00:40:55,650
I hope someone would do
something about that.
748
00:40:55,650 --> 00:40:58,040
And then she looked in the mirror
749
00:40:58,040 --> 00:40:59,850
and she realized that she
would be that someone.
750
00:40:59,850 --> 00:41:02,790
And it sounds like you
also had that moment
751
00:41:02,790 --> 00:41:05,703
where you realized that you
would have to be that someone.
752
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:13,833
- Again, tremendous
responsibility, but I know that
753
00:41:16,830 --> 00:41:21,630
there are all of these
educators and former
754
00:41:21,630 --> 00:41:25,650
and current and school staff
who've joined our efforts.
755
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:29,943
They are ready, they're
worried, they're angry,
756
00:41:31,069 --> 00:41:32,580
and they wanna be part of the solution
757
00:41:32,580 --> 00:41:36,480
so it's definitely not
something I do alone.
758
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,220
And I just know that
that's kind of the way
759
00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:43,173
that I work best anyway, is
with a community of people
760
00:41:43,173 --> 00:41:45,030
and we very much have
that both with our union
761
00:41:45,030 --> 00:41:48,630
and with the folks who have
joined us from Teachers Unify.
762
00:41:48,630 --> 00:41:50,850
- So you did something
really kind of exciting
763
00:41:50,850 --> 00:41:52,920
and really kind of scary this year.
764
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,860
You stepped back from your
full-time teaching job
765
00:41:55,860 --> 00:42:00,860
the first time ever since
the Sandy Hook shooting
766
00:42:00,900 --> 00:42:02,850
and you decided you're gonna give this
767
00:42:02,850 --> 00:42:06,780
your full-time energy, support and care.
768
00:42:06,780 --> 00:42:09,060
How do people reach out to you
in case they wanna reach out
769
00:42:09,060 --> 00:42:10,660
and be a part of Teachers Unify?
770
00:42:11,550 --> 00:42:16,160
- Yes, I am very humbled and excited to
771
00:42:17,730 --> 00:42:19,830
work on this issue full-time
772
00:42:19,830 --> 00:42:24,810
for the first time in almost
12 years where I was doing it
773
00:42:24,810 --> 00:42:28,230
after school every day on the weekends,
774
00:42:28,230 --> 00:42:32,253
which I probably still will
be doing on the weekends,
775
00:42:32,253 --> 00:42:37,253
but please check out our
website at teachersunify.org
776
00:42:38,850 --> 00:42:42,063
and see what we're doing
and follow us on Instagram.
777
00:42:44,370 --> 00:42:47,147
There are a lot of back
to school initiatives
778
00:42:47,147 --> 00:42:51,780
that are headed our way and out there
779
00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:54,390
and we would love for people to join us.
780
00:42:54,390 --> 00:42:56,640
- That would be amazing,
I always say to people,
781
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,920
there are so many different
flavors of activism
782
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,108
and so many different groups.
783
00:43:01,108 --> 00:43:02,520
Everybody doesn't have
to do the same thing.
784
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,670
As long as we are all
here in the ecosystem
785
00:43:05,670 --> 00:43:08,490
of gun violence prevention,
786
00:43:08,490 --> 00:43:10,560
you can find a spot if you want it.
787
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,860
And today's an opportunity
to highlight Teachers Unify,
788
00:43:13,860 --> 00:43:18,860
to give lots of gratitude
and respect and offer respect
789
00:43:20,088 --> 00:43:23,040
and care to teachers going back to school
790
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,821
in the United States who
have already gone back
791
00:43:25,821 --> 00:43:27,810
and will be going back this fall.
792
00:43:27,810 --> 00:43:31,893
And we can maybe all agree on one thing.
793
00:43:33,881 --> 00:43:36,390
We don't want to lose
any more teachers to this
794
00:43:36,390 --> 00:43:38,370
or any more students to this
795
00:43:38,370 --> 00:43:42,153
and that I think we can all be united.
796
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:47,460
Thank you for listening.
797
00:43:47,460 --> 00:43:50,130
I hope that what you
heard touched your heart
798
00:43:50,130 --> 00:43:52,470
and maybe encourage you
to think about things
799
00:43:52,470 --> 00:43:54,420
a little bit differently and get involved.
800
00:43:54,420 --> 00:43:56,430
Shared Humanity is produced
801
00:43:56,430 --> 00:43:58,260
by the Yale School of Public Health.
802
00:43:58,260 --> 00:44:00,160
Follow us on social media @YaleSPH
803
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:06,920
and learn more at
sph.yale.edu/sharedhumanity.
804
00:44:07,890 --> 00:44:09,900
Thank you to the Poorvu Center
805
00:44:09,900 --> 00:44:12,570
and Yale Broadcast
Studio for their support.
806
00:44:12,570 --> 00:44:14,975
We hope this episode empowered you
807
00:44:14,975 --> 00:44:17,325
to take action toward
positive change and hope.
00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:07,590
- Welcome back to Shared Humanity.
2
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:11,400
I am Nelba Márquez-Greene,
and in this podcast
3
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,660
and video series,
4
00:00:12,660 --> 00:00:16,980
I talk to the humans behind
the headlines of gun violence.
5
00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:18,363
In a moment in history,
6
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,790
we're all too often we focus on everything
7
00:00:20,790 --> 00:00:23,160
but our shared humanity.
8
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:27,660
Today's guest is Abby Clements
and Abby Clements and I
9
00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:29,583
share a unique link.
10
00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:32,160
She was a teacher at Sandy Hook School
11
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:34,798
and she was a teacher on Sandy Hook School
12
00:00:34,798 --> 00:00:36,570
December 14th, 2012,
13
00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:39,960
where I lost a daughter
and where Abby survived.
14
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,460
And in today's episode,
15
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:44,250
she's gonna talk to us
a bit about her activism
16
00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:48,810
and where she is now, what
survivor guilt looks like,
17
00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:51,360
part of her evolution of grief
18
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,363
and what it's like to
have all of this in her,
19
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,420
in front of a mom who lost a child
20
00:00:57,420 --> 00:00:59,420
and we're just grateful for her sharing.
21
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:05,793
Do you remember the first day we met?
22
00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:08,243
- Well, first of all,
23
00:01:08,243 --> 00:01:09,928
thank you so much for having me, Nelba.
24
00:01:09,928 --> 00:01:11,190
We've known each other for a long time,
25
00:01:11,190 --> 00:01:13,413
and I do remember the first day we met.
26
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:19,020
If I'm right, it was before
the school year started,
27
00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:21,060
I was setting up my classroom.
28
00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:22,560
- So 2012.
29
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:27,483
- Right, 2012, and our secretary
30
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:34,220
brought your beautiful family for a tour
31
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,480
of our beautiful school--
32
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,970
- Of our beautiful
school, Sandy Hook School.
33
00:01:38,970 --> 00:01:42,600
And I get to meet you and you
are setting up your classroom
34
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,573
and so excited for this school year.
35
00:01:46,503 --> 00:01:48,540
- And I can see in my mind's eye
36
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:53,250
as I can very clearly then
37
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:55,320
your beautiful family coming in
38
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,080
and our husbands are colleagues
39
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,830
and I was very excited to
meet Jimmy to say hello
40
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,480
and to welcome him,
41
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,914
welcome you guys both
to Sandy Hook School,
42
00:02:06,914 --> 00:02:08,610
and excited that he is
starting at WestConn.
43
00:02:08,610 --> 00:02:10,140
- So we walk into your classroom
44
00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:12,730
and we realized that
we don't just have the
45
00:02:13,877 --> 00:02:15,270
kind of common experience
46
00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:16,950
of we're both gonna be at this school,
47
00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:20,310
our husbands are actually
educators at a different school
48
00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:22,320
together at Western
Connecticut State University,
49
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,540
so smallest of worlds.
50
00:02:24,540 --> 00:02:27,960
I get to meet you and it's
obvious that you love teaching.
51
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,750
Tell me what you loved
so much about teaching.
52
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:34,530
You were teaching 32 years
about that evolution,
53
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:37,920
about how you got started
and just some of the lessons
54
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,590
you took away from that experience.
55
00:02:40,590 --> 00:02:42,690
- Well, my mother was a teacher.
56
00:02:42,690 --> 00:02:44,820
I never thought I'd be a teacher.
57
00:02:44,820 --> 00:02:47,820
Went to college, majored
in philosophy and French,
58
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:50,730
and I had no intention of being a teacher.
59
00:02:50,730 --> 00:02:53,250
But that changed.
60
00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:58,250
I took a job in Manhattan
for a travel magazine,
61
00:02:58,290 --> 00:03:02,580
and I remember hanging up
a phone call that I took
62
00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:05,760
and saying to myself,
this is not what I want.
63
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,340
I wanna make a difference and I love kids,
64
00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:10,650
and so I wanna be a teacher.
65
00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:14,280
And it came out of nowhere
and I had to go back to school
66
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:19,280
because I didn't study education
and I never looked back.
67
00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:23,613
For me, even after the tragedy,
68
00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:26,040
connecting with kids
69
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,340
and having fun with them
and watching them learn
70
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:33,540
and seeing that spark has
always been what's kept me
71
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:36,660
in teaching and what I
loved about teaching.
72
00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:38,670
- Yeah, yeah, I could
feel it, I could feel it
73
00:03:38,670 --> 00:03:39,790
even in that first day
74
00:03:40,723 --> 00:03:42,090
when I'm watching you
set up your classroom,
75
00:03:42,090 --> 00:03:45,480
you had real teacher
energy, the joy and the fun
76
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:49,860
and the making things exciting.
77
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:51,630
Do you have a favorite year of teaching?
78
00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:53,602
Do you have a favorite--
79
00:03:53,602 --> 00:03:57,630
- I don't, I remember kids really clearly.
80
00:03:57,630 --> 00:03:59,430
Sometimes I forget their names of course,
81
00:03:59,430 --> 00:04:04,430
but I have all of the photos
from the time I started,
82
00:04:07,260 --> 00:04:08,883
those class photos.
83
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:15,080
But for sure the years post-tragedy,
84
00:04:17,070 --> 00:04:22,070
the kids who I had that year,
my then second graders who,
85
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:27,270
most of whom finished their
first year of college now,
86
00:04:27,270 --> 00:04:30,750
I'm close with about six or seven of them.
87
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:35,250
And even if I don't know them now,
88
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,620
outside of that little crew,
89
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:41,573
they're watching gun
violence unfold over and over
90
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,770
on their phones, in the news, the stories
91
00:04:46,770 --> 00:04:48,063
that make the news.
92
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:53,016
And I feel a tremendous responsibility
93
00:04:53,016 --> 00:04:55,593
and always have after.
94
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:02,480
- You represent a cohort of teachers
95
00:05:02,490 --> 00:05:05,040
that almost never gets talked about.
96
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,930
You represent a cohort of teachers
97
00:05:06,930 --> 00:05:11,930
impacted directly by gun
violence in the United States.
98
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,480
And before we go there specifically,
99
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,960
we talked a little bit
about the first day we met,
100
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:23,760
that extraordinary energy,
that belief in hope,
101
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,130
excitement for a new school year,
102
00:05:26,130 --> 00:05:30,933
not unlike many Americans
are facing right now.
103
00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:36,633
The next day we meet in
person is a little different.
104
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,390
The next day we meet in person
105
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:43,743
is actually in a firehouse.
106
00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:47,943
And we have two very
different experiences,
107
00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:52,660
but two experiences inextricably linked
108
00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,263
by gun violence.
109
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,853
What would you say to anyone listening?
110
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,650
- We have a problem in this
country and it's gun violence.
111
00:06:07,650 --> 00:06:11,700
Our surgeon general, Dr. Vik Murthy,
112
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:16,700
just designated gun violence
as a public health crisis.
113
00:06:18,570 --> 00:06:21,240
It is the leading cause
of death of children
114
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:22,323
in this country.
115
00:06:23,490 --> 00:06:26,793
So it's pervasive.
116
00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:30,120
Almost everyone knows someone
117
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,420
if they haven't been
impacted by gun violence.
118
00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:36,310
And it's going to take all of us
119
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,190
to pay attention to this problem.
120
00:06:41,190 --> 00:06:46,190
Like one of the reasons
why my friends and I
121
00:06:47,130 --> 00:06:50,230
started Teachers Unify is that
122
00:06:51,075 --> 00:06:55,700
we really haven't seen
a surge of programming
123
00:06:56,970 --> 00:07:01,970
and curricula coming out of
education spaces on this issue.
124
00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:06,990
And really, it's going to
take every intersectional
125
00:07:06,990 --> 00:07:10,710
group, organization,
space to make a commitment
126
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:14,693
to try to curb gun violence.
127
00:07:14,693 --> 00:07:16,740
And you're right now, but we don't hear
128
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:21,603
from educators,
paraeducators, administrators,
129
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,620
and I think there are
complicated reasons for that.
130
00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:27,430
I don't think it's necessarily
131
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:33,390
for a deceptive reason
why we don't hear from us,
132
00:07:33,390 --> 00:07:36,570
but we need to tell the stories.
133
00:07:36,570 --> 00:07:40,030
We need to break down the stigma of
134
00:07:41,996 --> 00:07:44,793
why you haven't moved on.
135
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:48,180
What's taking you so long?
136
00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:52,790
I think it's complicated by
the way we approach grief
137
00:07:52,790 --> 00:07:57,790
in this country and we're
expected to just swallow it
138
00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:01,563
and go back to work in a heartbeat.
139
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,980
- There's so much you just said right now
140
00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:07,320
that I really want to...
141
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,660
First you talked about Teachers Unify,
142
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:12,540
which I definitely wanna
make sure we get to
143
00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:14,193
and spend lots of time on.
144
00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:16,770
You just touched on something though
145
00:08:16,770 --> 00:08:21,770
that I think is the primary
myth of maybe why we don't hear
146
00:08:25,290 --> 00:08:27,630
from groups most impacted,
including teachers.
147
00:08:27,630 --> 00:08:29,910
We kind of have an expectation
148
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,950
that teachers will just go back,
149
00:08:31,950 --> 00:08:34,920
that people after these kinds
of events will just go back
150
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,750
and I certainly saw that.
151
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,640
You know what, let me
dial it back a little bit.
152
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,050
First of all, it's just a miracle
153
00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:41,850
that we're having this conversation.
154
00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:45,900
You and I hold very different
places and positions
155
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:50,370
in the post-tragedy circle in Newtown.
156
00:08:50,370 --> 00:08:54,570
Like I am in this circle
as a bereaved parent.
157
00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:57,240
You are in this circle as a
teacher who was in the building
158
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,413
and also impacted.
159
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,440
Then there are first responders
and people who survived
160
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,483
and witnesses in so many other places.
161
00:09:04,470 --> 00:09:07,080
This is very rare that
people in different parts
162
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,910
of the circle actually talk.
163
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,060
How are you feeling right now?
164
00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:12,113
Is it a little strange?
165
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,646
- Well, it's certainly not easy
166
00:09:16,646 --> 00:09:21,646
because of that survivor guilt, that peace
167
00:09:23,610 --> 00:09:27,840
that just has been with me
and is a common experience
168
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,450
and people who survive
something really hard
169
00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:35,450
when the worst happened
to people who you knew
170
00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:37,842
who were part of the community,
171
00:09:37,842 --> 00:09:38,801
even if you didn't know them directly.
172
00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:43,801
So that piece, I think it'll
always be there, like my God,
173
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,750
like I would do anything to have changed
174
00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:53,750
the trajectory of this,
but to have the opportunity
175
00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:58,890
to spend time in the same space
with you means so much to me
176
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,720
because not only on a personal level,
177
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,300
because I adore you and your family,
178
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,970
but because I think breaking
down these barriers,
179
00:10:05,970 --> 00:10:08,100
which really aren't there,
180
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:11,580
but it's just part of, I
think the grieving process
181
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:13,140
and what society expects
182
00:10:13,140 --> 00:10:17,340
and what's expected of
us in our daily lives
183
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:22,340
that cause sometimes a
rift or not even a rift,
184
00:10:24,551 --> 00:10:25,950
but like you're just afraid to even...
185
00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:28,511
You might say the wrong thing
186
00:10:28,511 --> 00:10:32,943
or you don't know if that
person might approve of the way
187
00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:36,928
that you're moving through the aftermath
188
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:41,928
where you want that, but
you also respect so much
189
00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:44,730
their own paths
190
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:47,610
that you don't even wanna
impose on that space.
191
00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:50,460
So although it's complicated,
I think it's really important
192
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:54,300
and if we want everyone in
this country to pay attention
193
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,490
to this issue, to hold legislators
194
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:59,370
and candidates accountable on this issue,
195
00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:01,080
then we have to be able to talk about it
196
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,690
and we want people who've
never been impacted.
197
00:11:03,690 --> 00:11:06,450
One of our co-founders has never been,
198
00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:10,140
and I know even she feels
like this imposter syndrome.
199
00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:11,190
I'm like, my God,
200
00:11:11,190 --> 00:11:14,790
I would never want you to
be personally impacted,
201
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:19,050
but we are all survivors of
gun violence in this country.
202
00:11:19,050 --> 00:11:22,860
We are all impacted because
of the pervasiveness of it
203
00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:24,183
and the fear.
204
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:29,730
- So one common myth is that
you should be able to go back
205
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:30,820
after a violent act
206
00:11:31,704 --> 00:11:33,390
and kind of save everyone
else as a teacher.
207
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,190
Another one is that after tragedy,
208
00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:37,551
and you just talked about this,
209
00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:38,850
that we'll all kind of
have the same perspective.
210
00:11:38,850 --> 00:11:41,280
And when we don't have a same perspective,
211
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,680
that there is conflict.
212
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:47,130
And I guess depending on
where you are in the circle
213
00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:50,580
after tragedy on which concentric ring,
214
00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:53,040
you may hold a different perspective.
215
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,050
I remember someone from
Newtown coming up to me
216
00:11:55,050 --> 00:11:57,900
and saying, why won't you let us march
217
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,700
in front of the school on December 14th?
218
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,920
First of all, I didn't
have that much power.
219
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,890
I was just busy trying to survive,
220
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:08,130
but it seemed like no matter
where you were in the ring,
221
00:12:08,130 --> 00:12:11,670
there was a different kind of approach
222
00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:16,530
or idea of what should happen
and even within those circles,
223
00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:19,620
there were also different opinions,
224
00:12:19,620 --> 00:12:22,650
but a few things tied us.
225
00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:27,650
And that's number one that
we all survived in event
226
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:30,870
that happened December 14th, 2012,
227
00:12:30,870 --> 00:12:33,660
that we are all impacted
by grief on that day
228
00:12:33,660 --> 00:12:34,863
and everyday since,
229
00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:39,900
that we are all trying to
find a voice and a way forward
230
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:42,030
that this has an impact on our family
231
00:12:42,030 --> 00:12:44,340
no matter where we are on the ring
232
00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:46,380
and that we're trying to figure out ways
233
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:49,170
to move forward without
hurting one another,
234
00:12:49,170 --> 00:12:51,060
without creating conflict
235
00:12:51,060 --> 00:12:55,053
and you've been really clear on that.
236
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,783
What does your grief look like today?
237
00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:05,660
- I think I carry that responsibility
238
00:13:08,190 --> 00:13:13,190
from my students that day,
take that very seriously.
239
00:13:16,709 --> 00:13:19,503
But also, same with you, I think,
240
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:25,400
and other friends I have
who have been more impacted
241
00:13:26,326 --> 00:13:28,830
and I don't know where that comes from,
242
00:13:28,830 --> 00:13:32,250
probably just wanting
reassurance from people
243
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:36,939
who you really care about
that there's a respect
244
00:13:36,939 --> 00:13:39,867
and at least doing things
in a respectful way
245
00:13:39,867 --> 00:13:42,720
without losing sight of the magnitude
246
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,290
and the personal pieces,
247
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,960
the narratives that are
so important to raise
248
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,340
when it comes to gun violence.
249
00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:52,560
And then there's now the responsibility
250
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:57,533
of Teachers Unify to
make sure that I'm trying
251
00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:02,340
to get a seat at the table for people
252
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:04,560
who really don't get that when it comes
253
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,070
to conversations about
safety and protocols
254
00:14:08,070 --> 00:14:12,540
and what it's like after
a tragedy like this.
255
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:14,850
- It struck me as you were speaking
256
00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:17,700
that every other guest
we've had on the podcast
257
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:22,023
has been someone who's
lost a family member,
258
00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:25,830
a child or a parent to gun violence.
259
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:30,830
And that very often, we don't count people
260
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:36,540
who don't lose a person as
victims of gun violence.
261
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:41,253
How does gun violence impact you uniquely?
262
00:14:42,870 --> 00:14:47,613
- So this is a hard question
for me because again,
263
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:52,140
so much worse could have
happened and did happen.
264
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:54,300
So I tend not to wanna talk about it,
265
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:56,600
but I think it's also
important to talk about.
266
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:02,600
So just among people who...
267
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:07,320
My colleagues and also
people who I've met,
268
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,020
other survivors in the Gun
Violence Prevention Movement
269
00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:13,743
who have also survived school shootings.
270
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:22,160
There's the physical changes
'cause the rise of anxiety
271
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,713
and that could cause
certain things with crowds,
272
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,693
physical manifestations, sometimes,
273
00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:38,330
especially when I'm talking
about it, those are harder.
274
00:15:38,467 --> 00:15:42,400
And then there are
relationships that change
275
00:15:43,406 --> 00:15:45,690
depending on what direction
you may have gone to
276
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:47,640
in terms of moving forward.
277
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,940
And it really does
shift things in a family
278
00:15:50,940 --> 00:15:52,800
and within your friends
279
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:57,780
and that's really hard and
it also affects your work.
280
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:03,930
My husband is a writer
and also a professor
281
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,809
at Western Connecticut State University.
282
00:16:06,809 --> 00:16:09,040
And for him, his writing
completely changed
283
00:16:09,962 --> 00:16:12,840
and he couldn't write for
many years, many years.
284
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,850
And I know he doesn't like
to talk about that either,
285
00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:17,103
because he's like, well my God.
286
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,540
But those things are real
287
00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:26,540
and a decision to stay
in the same workplace,
288
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,463
a decision to stay in the same town,
289
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:36,210
all of those are very real
and difficult decisions
290
00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:38,573
that people have to make
when they're impacted
291
00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:40,260
by a tragedy of this magnitude.
292
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:43,380
- I think it's really important to say
293
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:46,620
that while this conversation
might be uncomfortable,
294
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:50,580
it is critically important to have
295
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:55,580
because every individual
and every concentric ring
296
00:16:57,990 --> 00:17:01,743
after tragedy feels something.
297
00:17:03,150 --> 00:17:06,213
We don't feel the same
things and thank goodness.
298
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:11,700
I don't want for you to
have to have lost a person
299
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,623
in order to make this real.
300
00:17:14,956 --> 00:17:17,730
I want you to know that as far as for me,
301
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:20,970
I'm thankful you didn't lose a person.
302
00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:24,900
I'm just sad I lost a person
and I'm incredibly grateful
303
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:28,772
for your willingness to
engage in this conversation
304
00:17:28,772 --> 00:17:29,730
'cause I know it must be terrifying
305
00:17:29,730 --> 00:17:32,406
to sit across from a parent and say,
306
00:17:32,406 --> 00:17:33,720
here's how it impacted me.
307
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,910
So thank you for taking that risk.
308
00:17:35,910 --> 00:17:38,970
Part of relationship takes risks,
309
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,470
but in order to take those risks,
310
00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:43,286
you have to have a foundation of trust.
311
00:17:43,286 --> 00:17:45,480
And I can't overemphasize enough,
312
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,750
I can't emphasize enough the importance
313
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:53,130
of working really hard to
have trusting relationships
314
00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:54,750
because that is a foundation
315
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:58,680
for where we can take these
risks to create solutions,
316
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:03,680
to create understanding,
to have community.
317
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,660
Survivors need community.
318
00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:09,909
I mean, if we can get an
amen at any point in this,
319
00:18:09,909 --> 00:18:12,150
it's gonna be right here,
survivors need community.
320
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:15,540
But so often that community is interrupted
321
00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:18,330
by all of the gobbledygook
that comes from the outside
322
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:19,980
and sometimes from inside each other
323
00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:21,830
because we're just trying to survive.
324
00:18:23,919 --> 00:18:24,960
Did you have anything to add to that?
325
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,580
- Oh, I think you're right 100%
326
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:31,470
and I know that it often feels very lonely
327
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:34,350
in that space where you don't know...
328
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:37,860
Suddenly, you don't even
really recognize who you are
329
00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:41,310
and now you are wanting to
do things completely outside
330
00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:46,310
of your comfort zone and your
friends aren't really into it.
331
00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:52,290
But it was the community for
me that got me through it
332
00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:56,070
and it was more of a survivor
333
00:18:56,070 --> 00:19:01,070
and advocacy community
where I found like people
334
00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:05,790
who suddenly found themselves
wanting to do things
335
00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:08,400
that were outside of
their comfort zone too,
336
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:12,993
to try even in the smallest
ways to make a change.
337
00:19:14,190 --> 00:19:18,300
- You talked about an
element that is unique to you
338
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:19,893
and outside of my circle,
339
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:23,163
and that's survivor guilt.
340
00:19:25,273 --> 00:19:30,183
What does survivor guilt
mean and look like to you?
341
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:36,360
- I think, and if you
read different things
342
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:40,350
about like Holocaust
survivors, this is similar.
343
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:45,120
Like why did he turn
left instead of right,
344
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:48,573
it was the second classroom on the right.
345
00:19:49,743 --> 00:19:50,993
What do you do with that?
346
00:19:53,886 --> 00:19:57,053
What do you do with that feeling of...
347
00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:03,900
I know the word lucky
is like a terrible word
348
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:07,413
in the gun violence space, but ew,
349
00:20:08,467 --> 00:20:12,060
like to have that, to be like who I was,
350
00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:17,060
that I survived with my
kids running out of that
351
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,320
building that day.
352
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:26,487
So I often say, what do I do with that?
353
00:20:26,487 --> 00:20:31,487
It's a weight and it's
been there from that day
354
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:36,960
and I don't think I
knew what to do with it.
355
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,480
And I knew I had to be
a little bit patient
356
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,920
because I knew I had to
go back for those students
357
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:47,007
in just a few days, but--
358
00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:49,413
- Had to or chose to?
359
00:20:53,007 --> 00:20:55,203
- So it is kind of a common weird thing.
360
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:57,330
I mean, not all of us
obviously feel this way,
361
00:20:57,330 --> 00:21:02,330
but the responsibility to
be there gave you direction
362
00:21:06,630 --> 00:21:08,614
and told you what...
363
00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:12,830
Like, it led you as to what to do
364
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:15,707
in those days, hours after.
365
00:21:15,707 --> 00:21:16,857
So you just kind of...
366
00:21:22,290 --> 00:21:25,633
You were like, well of course
I'm gonna be there for my kid.
367
00:21:25,633 --> 00:21:29,610
Like how am I not gonna
show up, I have to be there.
368
00:21:29,610 --> 00:21:30,990
There was not a question
369
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:33,090
and then it was the same
for the following year
370
00:21:33,090 --> 00:21:36,117
and you hear this and it
is a common experience
371
00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:41,700
that there was a clear responsibility
372
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,156
and that you just knew
you were gonna be there
373
00:21:44,156 --> 00:21:46,230
for those kids, the kids
after, the kids after,
374
00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:50,400
but then there's a commonality
375
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,860
in some school shooting survivors
376
00:21:52,860 --> 00:21:56,460
who then when maybe the kids all graduate
377
00:21:56,460 --> 00:21:59,160
or you don't have any more
siblings coming through
378
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,880
or as many, then you think
379
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:04,500
now you get to really ask the question,
380
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,009
is this really good for me?
381
00:22:07,009 --> 00:22:09,120
Is this what I wanna be doing?
382
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,700
Is this right, I didn't even take a breath
383
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:13,020
except in the summertime
384
00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:15,209
where we didn't know
what to do with ourselves
385
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:16,590
with that time.
386
00:22:16,590 --> 00:22:20,455
- I still don't know
that this is a phenomenon
387
00:22:20,455 --> 00:22:24,120
that the regular public who has
been spared this experience,
388
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:27,780
perhaps they haven't had an
active mass tragedy happen
389
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:30,300
in one school district in one day,
390
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,749
in one school building in one day.
391
00:22:32,749 --> 00:22:34,800
I don't know that it's
something people understand
392
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:36,480
the amount of fortitude.
393
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,370
That's why I wanna frame it as a choice
394
00:22:38,370 --> 00:22:40,650
'cause if we just frame
it as an automatic,
395
00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:45,270
then we don't recognize the,
and I don't wanna say heroism,
396
00:22:45,270 --> 00:22:47,363
but we don't recognize the...
397
00:22:50,730 --> 00:22:52,050
Sometimes I get mad at myself
398
00:22:52,050 --> 00:22:54,360
because I can't think of the right words
399
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:55,560
and I then I say, no, give yourself grace
400
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,907
because you can't think of the right words
401
00:22:57,907 --> 00:22:59,190
because this is pretty horrific.
402
00:22:59,190 --> 00:23:04,190
But you and other teachers,
my sons included, went back,
403
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:10,590
went back and committed to being a stable,
404
00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:15,180
predictable force for siblings
405
00:23:15,180 --> 00:23:19,410
who had lost siblings and for students
406
00:23:19,410 --> 00:23:22,119
who had experienced in the worst.
407
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:26,820
And I can tell you that as
a mother, the way our family
408
00:23:26,820 --> 00:23:30,010
survived those early days was knowing
409
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,460
that Isaiah had that one thing
410
00:23:34,530 --> 00:23:38,880
and Isaiah's teacher that
returned that year, last year,
411
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,400
attended his graduation from high school
412
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,850
and we could not be more grateful to her
413
00:23:44,850 --> 00:23:48,240
and yet we recognize,
just from our perspective,
414
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,560
outside of her circle,
the cost it must have
415
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:53,883
for her to have done that.
416
00:23:55,032 --> 00:23:57,720
Seems like we are a country
that romanticizes teachers
417
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,820
after they die in a school shooting,
418
00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:03,900
but doesn't give them what
they need while they're living
419
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,150
to show up every day to teach our kids
420
00:24:06,150 --> 00:24:08,760
and if I could change one
thing, that's what it would be.
421
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,370
It's great to romanticize
people after they're gone,
422
00:24:11,370 --> 00:24:14,250
how about what we support
them while they're here?
423
00:24:14,250 --> 00:24:17,520
So I can get a little heated
about that, but let me go on.
424
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,493
You were explaining to
me about survivor guilt
425
00:24:20,493 --> 00:24:23,580
and the importance and how
it gave you kind of purpose
426
00:24:23,580 --> 00:24:26,011
and direction for going back.
427
00:24:26,011 --> 00:24:27,480
I do wanna make sure I don't gloss over
428
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,520
that that too was a choice
429
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,670
and whatever choice you
make for your family,
430
00:24:32,670 --> 00:24:34,023
we should respect.
431
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,770
As a family in that school,
432
00:24:37,770 --> 00:24:40,290
I do wanna recognize though
433
00:24:40,290 --> 00:24:44,160
that we benefited from that
choice of teachers returning
434
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,963
and honor so much.
435
00:24:46,890 --> 00:24:48,930
- Even my son's teacher at the time,
436
00:24:48,930 --> 00:24:52,173
he was at Reed School, his teacher,
437
00:24:53,191 --> 00:24:54,930
when I saw her again in January,
438
00:24:54,930 --> 00:24:59,130
put her hands on my shoulders and said,
439
00:24:59,130 --> 00:25:00,603
I will take care of Jacob.
440
00:25:01,530 --> 00:25:04,233
You just leave that to me a little bit.
441
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:10,280
She showed up too and I
was like, so incredibly,
442
00:25:10,836 --> 00:25:12,532
I'll always be incredibly grateful.
443
00:25:12,532 --> 00:25:15,210
I just told her that recently in an email
444
00:25:15,210 --> 00:25:18,060
that we recently connected on.
445
00:25:18,060 --> 00:25:23,060
So I think that teachers
were not sharp shooters.
446
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,610
We are not taught what to do
447
00:25:29,610 --> 00:25:32,880
as part of our teacher certification
448
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:36,250
and like check this box
if you're willing to
449
00:25:37,830 --> 00:25:42,630
be a shield in a situation,
but you just would
450
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,124
as you would with any loved one.
451
00:25:46,124 --> 00:25:49,080
So obviously when they
come back, if you can
452
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,985
and if it's the right
thing for you, then we did,
453
00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:58,128
but it certainly wasn't easy
454
00:25:58,128 --> 00:26:00,180
and you always felt like
people were watching you
455
00:26:00,180 --> 00:26:01,013
to make sure that...
456
00:26:01,013 --> 00:26:03,540
I mean, and I get that in a way
457
00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:05,868
because when I came back to,
458
00:26:05,868 --> 00:26:07,860
and we were in that other building,
459
00:26:07,860 --> 00:26:09,720
I didn't want anybody
to leave for a second
460
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,430
so every time they had
to go to the bathroom,
461
00:26:11,430 --> 00:26:14,727
I would take the entire class with me.
462
00:26:14,727 --> 00:26:17,670
I was like, nobody is leaving my side
463
00:26:17,670 --> 00:26:18,750
for a little while.
464
00:26:18,750 --> 00:26:21,570
- The nest you made and we were all
465
00:26:21,570 --> 00:26:26,570
trying to make some kind of
nest and that is understandable.
466
00:26:29,820 --> 00:26:34,510
I will stop for a second
to tell you a story.
467
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,980
So that happened in December
468
00:26:37,980 --> 00:26:40,740
and Anna Grace's birthday was in April
469
00:26:40,740 --> 00:26:43,590
and I don't know if you've
ever heard me tell the story
470
00:26:43,590 --> 00:26:47,223
that Isaiah comes home from
school in March and says,
471
00:26:48,059 --> 00:26:50,730
what are we gonna do for Anna's birthday?
472
00:26:50,730 --> 00:26:55,620
And I say, I don't know,
what would you like to do?
473
00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:58,620
And he says, I would really like to have
474
00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:02,613
a Wii Just Dance party
because Anna really loved Wii,
475
00:27:04,050 --> 00:27:09,050
and I'm thinking to myself,
I have to call his teacher
476
00:27:09,570 --> 00:27:13,200
who has just survived a school
shooting alongside my son
477
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,090
and tell her that this child would like
478
00:27:15,090 --> 00:27:19,780
a Wii Just Dance party
at school for his sister
479
00:27:20,621 --> 00:27:21,930
and to just kind of feel her out
480
00:27:21,930 --> 00:27:24,120
and see if this is something
we're gonna put together
481
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:25,835
at school or at home
482
00:27:25,835 --> 00:27:27,090
'cause he also wanted to
do it with his classmates
483
00:27:27,090 --> 00:27:30,868
and this teacher that I called just to...
484
00:27:30,868 --> 00:27:32,100
And then I think she may
have called me and said,
485
00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:36,210
how would you like us to
honor Anna's birthday?
486
00:27:36,210 --> 00:27:40,488
And I said, well, Isaiah
wants a Wii Just Dance party,
487
00:27:40,488 --> 00:27:41,321
but I completely understand
488
00:27:41,321 --> 00:27:43,560
if this isn't something that could happen
489
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,320
to which she responded, we've got this,
490
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,100
and this teacher
491
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:53,490
pulled in a big TV into the cafeteria.
492
00:27:53,490 --> 00:27:55,380
There were many adults involved
493
00:27:55,380 --> 00:27:59,496
and they Wii Just Danced on that April 4th
494
00:27:59,496 --> 00:28:00,480
in honor of Anna Grace
495
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:05,010
and that is something that I
will forever be grateful for.
496
00:28:05,010 --> 00:28:08,310
So to the teachers of Sandy Hook School,
497
00:28:08,310 --> 00:28:11,520
of any of them who are listening to this,
498
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,080
if you went home, I thank you.
499
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,910
If you took care of your
family, I thank you.
500
00:28:14,910 --> 00:28:15,743
If you went to work
501
00:28:15,743 --> 00:28:18,240
and that's how you took care
of your family, I thank you.
502
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,480
In every way you did
and you are still here,
503
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,130
I thank you for that.
504
00:28:23,130 --> 00:28:27,120
So pivoting now to you keep
talking about responsibility
505
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:30,540
and you felt an overwhelming
sense of responsibility
506
00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:32,520
and part of how you operationalize
507
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,370
your sense of responsibility
and you're still being here,
508
00:28:35,370 --> 00:28:39,870
your survivor guilt too was in activism.
509
00:28:39,870 --> 00:28:42,123
Tell me about your evolution of activism.
510
00:28:43,410 --> 00:28:47,130
- I mean, I was always
somebody who I voted,
511
00:28:47,130 --> 00:28:49,323
I paid attention to the news.
512
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,560
Definitely as a parent, made sure
513
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,870
that there were foundations
that you pass along
514
00:28:57,870 --> 00:28:58,960
about right and wrong
515
00:29:00,045 --> 00:29:01,710
and justice and injustices of this country
516
00:29:03,780 --> 00:29:07,200
and went to a few protests in my 20s,
517
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,630
but I wouldn't have
called myself an activist
518
00:29:09,630 --> 00:29:13,710
before what happened and I
wasn't really planning it,
519
00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:15,900
but our daughter at the time was 16
520
00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:19,980
and she was the first one in the family
521
00:29:19,980 --> 00:29:22,830
to become an activist.
522
00:29:22,830 --> 00:29:24,150
- Sarah, who's amazing,
523
00:29:24,150 --> 00:29:25,600
who's in law school right now
524
00:29:26,544 --> 00:29:27,833
at George Washington, hi Sarah.
525
00:29:29,131 --> 00:29:31,860
- At Georgetown, no that's fine, still DC.
526
00:29:31,860 --> 00:29:32,693
It's all good.
527
00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:40,250
Yes, in fact, I would
drive her to meetings
528
00:29:40,679 --> 00:29:41,679
and wait in the car.
529
00:29:42,752 --> 00:29:45,060
I even remember like
getting out of the car
530
00:29:45,060 --> 00:29:46,260
and waiting in the hall.
531
00:29:47,342 --> 00:29:49,055
She was taking a long time or something
532
00:29:49,055 --> 00:29:51,885
and like hiding behind the wall,
533
00:29:51,885 --> 00:29:52,890
like I wasn't ready yet.
534
00:29:52,890 --> 00:29:57,873
And she mobilized and
got involved right away.
535
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:05,000
And then I was actually
invited to an event
536
00:30:05,310 --> 00:30:07,170
at somebody's house I didn't know
537
00:30:07,170 --> 00:30:08,550
and we were gonna go together.
538
00:30:08,550 --> 00:30:11,110
So I was like, ah, I think I can do this.
539
00:30:11,110 --> 00:30:13,050
It was toward the end of the school year,
540
00:30:13,050 --> 00:30:18,050
been a few months now,
thought I could do it with her
541
00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:20,880
and then my daughter couldn't go.
542
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,530
I said, well, I'm not gonna
go, I can't go by myself.
543
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:29,460
But I decided to go and found my way.
544
00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:32,700
It was confusing directions.
545
00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:37,700
Went into a house that was full of people
546
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,791
dedicated to having a
conversation about gun violence
547
00:30:43,791 --> 00:30:45,090
and about what it's
like in Connecticut now.
548
00:30:45,090 --> 00:30:48,873
My gosh, what happened
here and what can we do?
549
00:30:50,459 --> 00:30:53,909
And I immediately felt
like these were my people.
550
00:30:53,909 --> 00:30:56,340
I just knew it in my bones.
551
00:30:56,340 --> 00:31:00,210
It was like, I think I can
might be able to do this.
552
00:31:00,210 --> 00:31:03,520
I actually told my
story for the first time
553
00:31:05,250 --> 00:31:07,410
in front of people I didn't know
554
00:31:07,410 --> 00:31:11,943
and there was not a dry eye in the room.
555
00:31:13,050 --> 00:31:17,580
People were, as we know from
our tragedy, forever changed
556
00:31:17,580 --> 00:31:22,580
and such fear and such
grief about what happened
557
00:31:25,710 --> 00:31:29,820
just in a town nearby that
they were just activated
558
00:31:29,820 --> 00:31:33,840
and I loved that feeling
like I'm gonna work
559
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,763
with these people and I don't know,
560
00:31:36,630 --> 00:31:38,070
we're gonna go to farmer's markets
561
00:31:38,070 --> 00:31:40,879
and sign people up and talk to people.
562
00:31:40,879 --> 00:31:43,750
Just whatever it was, I
know I wasn't thinking like
563
00:31:44,727 --> 00:31:46,981
that there were going to
necessarily be laws change.
564
00:31:46,981 --> 00:31:50,580
In fact, I was very cynical
and knew where we came from
565
00:31:50,580 --> 00:31:53,010
and knew where we were at this moment
566
00:31:53,010 --> 00:31:55,170
and what it was looking like
567
00:31:55,170 --> 00:31:58,083
in terms of any possibility
for federal change.
568
00:31:58,967 --> 00:32:01,650
But I just knew it and from
there, I went to a conference.
569
00:32:01,650 --> 00:32:05,220
I was invited to travel to Denver,
570
00:32:05,220 --> 00:32:09,060
and I met survivors
from different tragedies
571
00:32:09,060 --> 00:32:14,060
and there's just a bond there
and listening to their stories
572
00:32:15,510 --> 00:32:19,878
and just had this sense
573
00:32:19,878 --> 00:32:22,328
that these were the people
I needed to be around.
574
00:32:24,180 --> 00:32:28,620
- And you went from that to joining groups
575
00:32:28,620 --> 00:32:31,200
to starting your own.
576
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,300
Tell us about Teachers Unify.
577
00:32:33,300 --> 00:32:36,870
- So I volunteered for...
578
00:32:36,870 --> 00:32:40,560
I was a Moms Demand Action
volunteer for 10 years,
579
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:44,760
almost a decade and it's great,
580
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:48,474
they have different
opportunities for you to do.
581
00:32:48,474 --> 00:32:52,110
I started out one thing, ended
up doing three other things.
582
00:32:52,110 --> 00:32:53,940
They have a survivor network,
583
00:32:53,940 --> 00:32:56,160
still involved with their survivor network
584
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,430
and I met incredible people
I'm still friends with today
585
00:32:59,430 --> 00:33:04,184
from every town,
586
00:33:04,184 --> 00:33:07,530
programs and opportunities that
they have for volunteering.
587
00:33:07,530 --> 00:33:09,660
But along the way, I was always waiting
588
00:33:09,660 --> 00:33:12,240
for a teacher organization.
589
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:16,140
I was always aware that there
was kind of a population,
590
00:33:16,140 --> 00:33:20,070
very large population of working people
591
00:33:20,070 --> 00:33:22,680
who are on the front lines of this issue
592
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:26,444
who haven't really been
brought in personally
593
00:33:26,444 --> 00:33:28,050
to the movement.
594
00:33:28,050 --> 00:33:29,610
And I was kind of hoping and waiting
595
00:33:29,610 --> 00:33:31,830
and I would talk to
different groups about it
596
00:33:31,830 --> 00:33:33,630
and oh, that's a good idea
597
00:33:33,630 --> 00:33:35,190
and like, we've been thinking about it,
598
00:33:35,190 --> 00:33:38,103
but it hadn't happened yet.
599
00:33:39,030 --> 00:33:42,270
And after yet another shooting,
600
00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:45,690
another school shooting this
time in Oxford, Michigan
601
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:50,457
on November 30th, 2021, two activists,
602
00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:55,110
teacher friends of mine
and I were in a group chat,
603
00:33:55,110 --> 00:33:56,880
very much like group chats
604
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,697
that Americans have across the country
605
00:33:59,697 --> 00:34:04,697
after these heinous shootings
happen over and over.
606
00:34:05,220 --> 00:34:06,990
Are you okay, oh my God,
did you see the news?
607
00:34:06,990 --> 00:34:08,160
What is happening?
608
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,610
Again, it's like a hamster wheel.
609
00:34:10,610 --> 00:34:12,480
What are we doing, where are the teachers?
610
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,823
We never hear from the teachers.
611
00:34:14,823 --> 00:34:15,996
Why aren't we ever here for today?
612
00:34:15,996 --> 00:34:18,483
So we're texting and
texting and I said to them,
613
00:34:21,390 --> 00:34:23,260
why is there no national organization
614
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:25,397
for teachers by teachers?
615
00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:26,850
Do you wanna start it,
do you wanna start one?
616
00:34:26,850 --> 00:34:28,260
And they said yes.
617
00:34:28,260 --> 00:34:30,960
And all full-time teachers,
618
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,600
one is a survivor of the Parkland tragedy
619
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,300
and one is a New York City activist
620
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:38,130
and they just trump right on it.
621
00:34:38,130 --> 00:34:41,460
We had a name, I mean they
are fast and they are savvy.
622
00:34:41,460 --> 00:34:46,460
We had our website, everything
within a matter of days.
623
00:34:49,530 --> 00:34:52,170
And I am so proud of where we are
624
00:34:52,170 --> 00:34:57,170
almost three years into
this, we have about 15,000
625
00:34:58,650 --> 00:35:00,360
educators and supporters.
626
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,240
This is retired people,
paraeducators, counselors.
627
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:05,383
When we say teachers, we mean
everybody works in a school.
628
00:35:05,383 --> 00:35:08,730
- Educators, staff,
anyone within the network
629
00:35:08,730 --> 00:35:10,440
of school buildings.
630
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,750
- Exactly, including retired people,
631
00:35:12,750 --> 00:35:15,397
because there are a lot of
retired teachers out there
632
00:35:15,397 --> 00:35:17,079
who are very worried about this.
633
00:35:17,079 --> 00:35:19,350
- Some of them who retire
because of the climate
634
00:35:19,350 --> 00:35:21,390
of violence that exists
within our schools.
635
00:35:21,390 --> 00:35:25,900
- Yeah, exactly, and our
mission is to empower educators
636
00:35:26,786 --> 00:35:28,560
and school staff to speak out about this
637
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,530
and to demand the communities
are safe from gun violence,
638
00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:32,790
not only school shootings,
639
00:35:32,790 --> 00:35:36,270
but what kids are coming into class from,
640
00:35:36,270 --> 00:35:39,180
what they're experiencing
on a daily basis.
641
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:42,400
- I always say that
whatever we don't resolve
642
00:35:43,950 --> 00:35:48,033
in our society ends up
in a teacher's laugh.
643
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,113
Whatever we don't resolve in society
644
00:35:51,113 --> 00:35:53,580
ends up in the laugh of a teacher
645
00:35:53,580 --> 00:35:55,020
because in the classroom,
646
00:35:55,020 --> 00:35:58,083
you don't get to choose who's
in there, you get everything.
647
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,422
So does teachers...
648
00:36:01,422 --> 00:36:06,422
So Teachers Unify empowers and
gathers the voices of retired
649
00:36:07,140 --> 00:36:10,563
and current teachers, staff,
650
00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:14,580
and do you take position statements?
651
00:36:14,580 --> 00:36:16,500
Tell me what else that you do.
652
00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:21,060
- So we work very closely with the union
653
00:36:21,060 --> 00:36:24,360
and actually the three
co-founders all are members
654
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,240
of which is the American
Federation of Teachers,
655
00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:31,890
who they have been part of the aftermath
656
00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:35,190
and the conversation about school safety
657
00:36:35,190 --> 00:36:37,893
and the impact of gun violence.
658
00:36:39,150 --> 00:36:42,450
Since the tragedy, they
came to Sandy Hook.
659
00:36:42,450 --> 00:36:46,320
We maintained a relationship
with their leaders
660
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:50,130
over many years and then
after the Parkland tragedy,
661
00:36:50,130 --> 00:36:54,120
the students really encouraged the unions
662
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,125
to get further involved.
663
00:36:56,125 --> 00:36:57,840
So we work very closely with the union
664
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:02,310
and we run webinars and panels
665
00:37:02,310 --> 00:37:04,770
and have discussions about how do you talk
666
00:37:04,770 --> 00:37:06,183
to kids about gun violence?
667
00:37:07,119 --> 00:37:10,350
How do you allow them to
bring this into the classroom?
668
00:37:10,350 --> 00:37:15,125
How do we help educators
669
00:37:15,125 --> 00:37:16,950
and school staff approach principals
670
00:37:16,950 --> 00:37:21,950
and school leaders when the
drills are not trauma-informed.
671
00:37:23,460 --> 00:37:25,170
Some of 'em are heinous
672
00:37:25,170 --> 00:37:27,783
that kids and adults are going through.
673
00:37:28,830 --> 00:37:31,080
So we are working on some toolkits
674
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,440
and resources for educators to help them
675
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,480
through those kinds of things
676
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:40,863
and what we're finding is
that everyone has a story.
677
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,940
They remember what happened in Newtown,
678
00:37:44,940 --> 00:37:48,153
it impacted their teaching, but every day,
679
00:37:49,125 --> 00:37:51,420
teachers right now are
setting up their classrooms
680
00:37:51,420 --> 00:37:52,740
and they're thinking about it.
681
00:37:52,740 --> 00:37:54,333
They're looking and saying,
682
00:37:55,171 --> 00:37:56,520
is this really the place
where I'm supposed to hide?
683
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,083
Is this the right spot?
684
00:37:59,159 --> 00:38:01,263
Is this where they're going to tell me?
685
00:38:01,263 --> 00:38:06,000
- Am I willing to die to save my students
686
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,500
when I wanna get home?
687
00:38:07,500 --> 00:38:10,650
My mother was a public
school teacher for 32 years
688
00:38:10,650 --> 00:38:12,780
and I know she would have,
689
00:38:12,780 --> 00:38:15,030
I just don't think she should have had to.
690
00:38:15,030 --> 00:38:16,500
Another thing that's really frustrating
691
00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:18,840
is when we don't offer education
692
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,290
in the absence of good
education about alternative ways
693
00:38:22,290 --> 00:38:25,020
of asking for help and doing the drills,
694
00:38:25,020 --> 00:38:30,020
we get desperate and we do
dumb things like saying, well,
695
00:38:30,712 --> 00:38:33,840
maybe we should put
more guns in classrooms,
696
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,820
which quite frankly, like it or not,
697
00:38:35,820 --> 00:38:38,430
I'm gonna take a position now
698
00:38:38,430 --> 00:38:40,530
and say we don't have any data,
699
00:38:40,530 --> 00:38:43,290
which tells us that that
would make anyone safer.
700
00:38:43,290 --> 00:38:45,900
That is something we say
because we are scared,
701
00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:47,760
because we are desperate,
702
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,407
but the data doesn't bear that out.
703
00:38:50,407 --> 00:38:52,102
Does Teachers Unify take a position on it?
704
00:38:52,102 --> 00:38:53,795
- 100% we're against arming teachers.
705
00:38:53,795 --> 00:38:55,200
I mean, we say the same thing.
706
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,870
The phrasing that we're talking
using right now is that,
707
00:38:57,870 --> 00:39:00,660
first of all, it's absurd that a teacher,
708
00:39:00,660 --> 00:39:05,190
somebody who's talking about who louds
709
00:39:05,190 --> 00:39:08,610
the concepts of non-violence
710
00:39:08,610 --> 00:39:11,220
and we lift up those in history
711
00:39:11,220 --> 00:39:14,130
who have taken stances on that
712
00:39:14,130 --> 00:39:16,290
and how do you make change in that way
713
00:39:16,290 --> 00:39:19,950
and then you're gonna strap on a firearm,
714
00:39:19,950 --> 00:39:24,297
it's a contradiction and it's
also incredibly dangerous.
715
00:39:24,297 --> 00:39:25,963
And you're right, there is no data.
716
00:39:25,963 --> 00:39:26,796
In fact, the data tells us the opposite
717
00:39:26,796 --> 00:39:31,796
that if there is a gun in the
home, then we're less safe.
718
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,540
- Yep, we know we're less safe.
719
00:39:33,540 --> 00:39:35,040
Another thing I really wanna make sure
720
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,170
we don't end this episode
without talking about
721
00:39:37,170 --> 00:39:38,670
is there has been gun violence
722
00:39:38,670 --> 00:39:40,560
in this country long before Newtown.
723
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,320
Newtown elevated the
conversation to a point
724
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,550
where it could not be ignored,
725
00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:46,860
but part of the reason we
had ignored it before that
726
00:39:46,860 --> 00:39:49,123
was obviously racism
727
00:39:49,123 --> 00:39:51,516
and obviously because we
care more about people
728
00:39:51,516 --> 00:39:53,880
in certain zip codes over
others, but before Newtown,
729
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,640
there have been teachers in zip codes
730
00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:01,020
and in areas across the
country who also had to go back
731
00:40:01,020 --> 00:40:05,370
and deal with a classroom
with an empty desk
732
00:40:05,370 --> 00:40:09,210
because of community
violence, because of suicide,
733
00:40:09,210 --> 00:40:13,500
because of a act of gun
violence that happened
734
00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:16,170
to a singular person on one day
735
00:40:16,170 --> 00:40:18,540
and those have to matter to us too
736
00:40:18,540 --> 00:40:22,320
and I'm sure that Teachers Unify platforms
737
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:27,320
and speaks to and makes a
tent wide enough for all,
738
00:40:27,570 --> 00:40:32,100
not just mass shootings and
just knowing who you are
739
00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:33,630
and knowing a little bit
about your co-founders
740
00:40:33,630 --> 00:40:37,290
and preparation for this episode,
741
00:40:37,290 --> 00:40:39,570
just really wanna thank
you for your committed work
742
00:40:39,570 --> 00:40:43,620
and your position and taking the stand.
743
00:40:43,620 --> 00:40:45,030
You remind me a little bit of Miss Rachel.
744
00:40:45,030 --> 00:40:48,720
I heard Miss Rachel do a
talk, a graduation talk,
745
00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:52,927
and she said she was hoping
for resources for her child
746
00:40:52,927 --> 00:40:53,760
and she was saying,
747
00:40:54,633 --> 00:40:55,650
I hope someone would do
something about that.
748
00:40:55,650 --> 00:40:58,040
And then she looked in the mirror
749
00:40:58,040 --> 00:40:59,850
and she realized that she
would be that someone.
750
00:40:59,850 --> 00:41:02,790
And it sounds like you
also had that moment
751
00:41:02,790 --> 00:41:05,703
where you realized that you
would have to be that someone.
752
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:13,833
- Again, tremendous
responsibility, but I know that
753
00:41:16,830 --> 00:41:21,630
there are all of these
educators and former
754
00:41:21,630 --> 00:41:25,650
and current and school staff
who've joined our efforts.
755
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:29,943
They are ready, they're
worried, they're angry,
756
00:41:31,069 --> 00:41:32,580
and they wanna be part of the solution
757
00:41:32,580 --> 00:41:36,480
so it's definitely not
something I do alone.
758
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,220
And I just know that
that's kind of the way
759
00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:43,173
that I work best anyway, is
with a community of people
760
00:41:43,173 --> 00:41:45,030
and we very much have
that both with our union
761
00:41:45,030 --> 00:41:48,630
and with the folks who have
joined us from Teachers Unify.
762
00:41:48,630 --> 00:41:50,850
- So you did something
really kind of exciting
763
00:41:50,850 --> 00:41:52,920
and really kind of scary this year.
764
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,860
You stepped back from your
full-time teaching job
765
00:41:55,860 --> 00:42:00,860
the first time ever since
the Sandy Hook shooting
766
00:42:00,900 --> 00:42:02,850
and you decided you're gonna give this
767
00:42:02,850 --> 00:42:06,780
your full-time energy, support and care.
768
00:42:06,780 --> 00:42:09,060
How do people reach out to you
in case they wanna reach out
769
00:42:09,060 --> 00:42:10,660
and be a part of Teachers Unify?
770
00:42:11,550 --> 00:42:16,160
- Yes, I am very humbled and excited to
771
00:42:17,730 --> 00:42:19,830
work on this issue full-time
772
00:42:19,830 --> 00:42:24,810
for the first time in almost
12 years where I was doing it
773
00:42:24,810 --> 00:42:28,230
after school every day on the weekends,
774
00:42:28,230 --> 00:42:32,253
which I probably still will
be doing on the weekends,
775
00:42:32,253 --> 00:42:37,253
but please check out our
website at teachersunify.org
776
00:42:38,850 --> 00:42:42,063
and see what we're doing
and follow us on Instagram.
777
00:42:44,370 --> 00:42:47,147
There are a lot of back
to school initiatives
778
00:42:47,147 --> 00:42:51,780
that are headed our way and out there
779
00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:54,390
and we would love for people to join us.
780
00:42:54,390 --> 00:42:56,640
- That would be amazing,
I always say to people,
781
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,920
there are so many different
flavors of activism
782
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,108
and so many different groups.
783
00:43:01,108 --> 00:43:02,520
Everybody doesn't have
to do the same thing.
784
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,670
As long as we are all
here in the ecosystem
785
00:43:05,670 --> 00:43:08,490
of gun violence prevention,
786
00:43:08,490 --> 00:43:10,560
you can find a spot if you want it.
787
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,860
And today's an opportunity
to highlight Teachers Unify,
788
00:43:13,860 --> 00:43:18,860
to give lots of gratitude
and respect and offer respect
789
00:43:20,088 --> 00:43:23,040
and care to teachers going back to school
790
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,821
in the United States who
have already gone back
791
00:43:25,821 --> 00:43:27,810
and will be going back this fall.
792
00:43:27,810 --> 00:43:31,893
And we can maybe all agree on one thing.
793
00:43:33,881 --> 00:43:36,390
We don't want to lose
any more teachers to this
794
00:43:36,390 --> 00:43:38,370
or any more students to this
795
00:43:38,370 --> 00:43:42,153
and that I think we can all be united.
796
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:47,460
Thank you for listening.
797
00:43:47,460 --> 00:43:50,130
I hope that what you
heard touched your heart
798
00:43:50,130 --> 00:43:52,470
and maybe encourage you
to think about things
799
00:43:52,470 --> 00:43:54,420
a little bit differently and get involved.
800
00:43:54,420 --> 00:43:56,430
Shared Humanity is produced
801
00:43:56,430 --> 00:43:58,260
by the Yale School of Public Health.
802
00:43:58,260 --> 00:44:00,160
Follow us on social media @YaleSPH
803
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:06,920
and learn more at
sph.yale.edu/sharedhumanity.
804
00:44:07,890 --> 00:44:09,900
Thank you to the Poorvu Center
805
00:44:09,900 --> 00:44:12,570
and Yale Broadcast
Studio for their support.
806
00:44:12,570 --> 00:44:14,975
We hope this episode empowered you
807
00:44:14,975 --> 00:44:17,325
to take action toward
positive change and hope.