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All right, and welcome back to the Second Mile Leadership Podcast.
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We are your hosts, Jason and Isaiah.
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And hopefully you tuned in for last episode where we started talking about influence and the utilization of influence over authority in the world of leadership.
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And you know, I saw something actually on social media today that that was interesting.
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It was by a very, very well-known leadership company, and they're people I respect immensely, but they had a picture up that said, if you interact with people, you're a leader.
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And my first response to that is that's not true.
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But in the caption, I think they rescued it because then they said what I was thinking in the moment was if you interact with people on a regular basis, you have the opportunity to lead.
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And that's a better way to say it.
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And because I don't think you're a leader just because you interact with people, and I don't think you're a leader just because you're a boss or have authority.
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I think you're a leader if your people see you that way and if you have influence over them.
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And every time we interact with a human being, we have an opportunity to lead.
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And, you know, we talk about the concept of having a leadership bank account, and every interaction is an opportunity to invest money in that account or pull money out and and you know, or or capital out is a is a better way to say that.
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So so that's one of the many ways we can think about leadership as it pertains to influence.
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And in the last episode, we talked about the importance of having a mission and a vision and how it really starts with mastering yourself first if you want to have influence.
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And we're going to touch on that even more today and in episode three of this conversation.
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But Isaiah, when you know, we're talking about influence, you know, I always teach the three-legged stool.
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And leg one, uh let me say it this way, leg three, we'll talk about in the next episode.
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But legs one and two is what we'll talk about today.
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And that really centers around care.
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And it's really hard to build influence as a leader if you don't genuinely care for your people and they don't know that you care for them.
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So kick us off today with your thoughts around uh where you want to go with this episode and how we can keep building out the avatar of what somebody who is a great builder of influence does.
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Yeah.
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First off, I want to point out you you said you were on social media earlier today.
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Is that correct?
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Yeah, yeah, I was, yeah.
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Oof.
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Oof.
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Yeah.
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I'm just joking.
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You got a problem with that?
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This was uh you know, just a little bit.
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Just before workout, man.
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I get up at 2 30 every morning, you know, to work out and run 42 miles.
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And and it was before that workout that I was on social media just while I was using the restroom.
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That's it.
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Gotcha.
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That's unfortunate.
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Yeah, but I did 42 and then 5,000 pull-ups.
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So wow.
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I did 5,001 pull-ups right after.
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But that was my war business.
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Then I got into the workout.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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That was wild.
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Yeah.
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We're building a lot of influence here.
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Absolutely.
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Telling the truth, too.
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Um you and I often say that like the the followers really determine the leader.
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Um I think that's so, so, so, so true.
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You can be put in a management position, you can be put in a leadership position, and you have no freaking idea how to lead.
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Um, that's why we're here to help.
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But I I truly believe that when the followers see a tremendous amount of care for them as the individual from the leader, that they then view them as the leader.
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Um, and then based off of that, um, there are numerous uh benefits that come off of that.
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Um, but we can get into that in another episode.
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Um, but I think servant leadership has been thrown around so much, and it's so unfortunate because it is a really, really good concept, and the the term um is just I think it's being associated with something different.
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Um, when I say servant leadership, I'm not saying subservient leadership.
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Um, it does not mean that you get walked on all the time, doesn't mean that you're the welcome mat.
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It means that you serve and you love and you care for your people, exactly as Jesus did.
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So when we truly live our lives, when we lead in a way that shows care to our followers, it changes everything.
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This is a very, very simple little phrase, but it's the concept of we over me.
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Um, we should never be doing any of the things that we're trying to do in the business, in the family unit, whatever it is, for your benefit.
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It is for the benefit of your followers.
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And thus, your followers' benefit, I promise you on the back end, you will receive that benefit like tenfold.
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Um, so that's kind of where my mind first goes to.
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But I I've I've been kind of frustrated because I I think some people just use that in a in a way that it's like, oh, we'll just serve all the time.
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And you're like, yes, you should absolutely serve a crap ton of the time.
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And listen, I'm I'm the type of guy where I like um my my wife's drinking protein waters at the moment to try to hit her protein goal.
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And so I'm making those for her throughout the week.
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Um, I'm trying to help her meal prep throughout the week so she doesn't have to worry about any of that.
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So I'm trying to reduce any friction possible.
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I'm trying to serve her in any single way that I can to help her reach her goals.
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Um, but that doesn't mean that I should be walked on all the time either.
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It doesn't mean that I should do every little thing around the house.
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It doesn't mean that I should make all the food.
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Um, but I it it does mean that I should show a tremendous amount of love and care for her.
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Well, i a couple of things I want to, you know, uh elaborate on there from what you were talking about.
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First and foremost, one of the most important traits we must have as a leader is humility.
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And you're talking about service.
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Well, it takes a lot of humility to serve.
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But humility, and this is uh, you know, I've heard Simon Sinek say this, and I don't know if he's the originator of it.
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Um funny thing is, is I had a social media post I put out a month or so ago and and gave credit to Simon Sinek for the term leaders eat last.
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And I had somebody come in my comments, that's a marine term, not a Simon Sinek term, and kind of roasted me a little bit.
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Yeah, right.
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So uh so I want to I don't know if Simon Sinek's the one that said this, but that's where I heard it, and that is that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but it's thinking of yourself less.
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So when you talk about service, not being subservient, subservience where I, you know, a lot of leadership, and if we want to just talk about the service part of that, you know, it it's it's a mindset, it's a way of thinking, it's a way of being.
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It and and when we talk about service, we're not talking about being subservient or being lesser than or thinking lesser than of yourself.
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It is positioning yourself a certain way in your mind so that you know that your default way of being when you walk in the door is to serve the people.
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Why are you doing that?
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You're doing that because they are theoretically working their butts off for you.
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So it's the least you can do.
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Um the uh there's three things I wanted uh to kind of pull on here, then I'll let you elaborate on the third one.
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But the second one is I've always, well, I don't know if always is the right word as much as I've evolved into realizing that the term servant leadership is redundant because the question is can you lead without service?
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So do we need the servant part of that?
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Um, you know, if you're gonna tell me there's a different kind of leadership that doesn't involve service, then it's not leadership.
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So I think every style and type of leadership should involve a high level of service.
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And then one concept I want to introduce, we touched out on the last episode, and Isaiah, I'll let you run with uh debate on this one, but we're talking about influence, okay?
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We're talking about the idea that, okay, we don't want the people around us to perform and execute at a high level because we're making them.
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In fact, that won't even work.
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It doesn't work because me telling you to do something almost never elicits your best performance.
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But you doing it because you want to do it, because you're fired up about it, because you believe in it, more often than not will deliver top-level performance.
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So if we want to to have our team operating at the highest level, then they need to, or we need to have the influence with them so that they check all those boxes of wanting to do it.
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They're fired up, they believe in it, they they're bought into the cause, all the things.
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Well, one of the biggest ways we do that is by genuinely, and I use that word very emphatically here, genuinely loving and caring about the people that we that we lead.
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And I think for a lot of people, learning to do that is an evolution.
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I don't know how natural it comes to us to genuinely love and care for people that either we don't really know very well or maybe that we don't even like.
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Um, I don't think that that is our default as humans.
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And I think it's an evolution and a growth and and and oftentimes a skill and and sometimes maybe just a reevaluation of our hearts that lead us to genuinely, genuinely loving and caring for the people we serve and lead and and and helping them accomplish their goals and wanting the best for them.
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So when we when we're able to genuinely have that heart transformation, then there's a lot of influence that comes from that.
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The reason that works so well, and I even hate to use that verb is because it sounds like it's a ploy or a trick or a manipulation, but it's absolutely not.
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But the reason it works so well with humans is because of the law of reciprocity that we did touch on last episode.
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And that is just the way we are wired.
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We are reciprocal creatures.
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So when something is done for us or to us, there's a feeling or a need to want to reciprocate that action on some level.
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I'm not saying we're trying to meet the action with the same action, but we want to meet it with some kind of something.
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So you give me a gift, I'm gonna want to say thank you.
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You give me a gift, I may want to get you a gift.
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You know, you do a favor for me, I want to do a favor for you.
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That's just the way we're wired.
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So, Isaiah, let's elaborate on this law of reciprocity thing.
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You're you are genuinely one of the most loving, caring humans I've known.
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It's one of the reasons I love you to death.
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And how have you seen the law of reciprocity show up in your life, either in your your personal life or in your um work life, where this cause because one thing for people who don't know Isaiah, his love and care for people is genuine, as genuine as I've been around.
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So that you've had to have seen how that affects other people.
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So elaborate on that for us.
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Like, how have you seen that placement of your heart affect other people?
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Yeah, that's such a good question.
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Um, my mind immediately goes to you, you have to you have to develop that internally before you see any effects of it externally.
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Um there was a a long time in my life where I did not have um a deep amount of love and care in my heart.
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I would see um people hurting, or I would see people that are mistreated or you know, bullied in high school, or whatever it was.
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My heart would be like, yeah, that's not good, but my heart wouldn't break for those people.
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And I believe what what changed is that I was like, I mean, uh realistically, I came to know Christ.
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People in the church often use the metaphor of like God kind of pours into your cup and then you pour out of that cup into others' cups.
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Well, if you think about it, that is essentially the law of reciprocity.
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It's hey, I'm receiving all this love from Jesus, and then I'm taking that love and then I'm pouring it out into other people.
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Those people receive that love.
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Um, and if it's genuine love, then they don't really have an option.
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It's it's like, okay, well, I need to pour this back in, or I need to pour this to someone else.
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Um, there's an example too of I where Jordan and I um I'll I'll share a brief funny story.
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There was this like Wednesday night college um group.
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I think your daughter's gone to it a couple of times, Jason.
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Yeah.
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But they like that's where Jordan and I kind of reconnected um when we were in college because we met in high school.
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And in like she didn't know that I went, I just kind of sat two rows behind her, like a creepy stalker guy.
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Um, and then you know, eventually we started talking and everything, and everything worked out.
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So that's that's great.
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But so so so your message is stalking works.
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Correct, correct.
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Got it, got it.
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I don't know.
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Write that down.
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I don't know if I would use that direct quotation.
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Um, but hey, it it's sounds like that's what you did.
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So yes, continue.
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Um but anyways, um in that Wednesday night group, one day, this was insane because as like a broke college kid, um receiving this was crazy, but they had an envelope for every single person that was there.
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Um and they gave it like a undisclosed amount of money to to every single kid.
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Um, and it was from this extremely wealthy family in the area that they wanted to like exemplify and show the gift that giving can bring to the individual.
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So when you give out of the kindness of your heart, like you just you like you feel better.
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Um that's why it says it's more blessed to give than receive.
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And so I got that gift and um Jordan and I like just started talking around this time.
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Like I think I I can't remember exactly where she used her money, but I remember using it um to pay for like a few cars behind me.
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Uh I don't know what how many cars it ended up being, but in a drive-thru line.
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And like it genuinely just felt so good.
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I don't exactly know what those people did with the money that they saved from that.
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Um, but I do know that it it felt amazing to me and it it kind of lifted me up um because of the the generosity that those people showed to me.
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Um, and then it led me to being a more giving person, like that one instance, and I think it was like 20 bucks, it was nothing crazy.
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Um, but the the law of reciprocity is huge.
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Like you understand that concept and you enact it in your day-to-day life.
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It g it it truly has the power to change everything in your life.
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Um, it's it's been so cool to see it work out on the back end of things, um, because you just starting to get to know a new employee.
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Um, there's not a great relationship there, but then you do something like genuinely kind and loving to them.
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Um one, it it builds the relationship, it shows care, all that's beautiful.
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Um, two, they then want to work harder for you as a result of that.
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So I could go on and on about that, but yeah, that that's where my my mind goes to first.
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Yeah, and as long as the the things that you're doing and and your heart and the things you do are genuine and sincere, and you're not doing them for the reciprocity of it.
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We're talking about the law of reciprocity.
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It's just a byproduct of being a good human, a byproduct of a loving and caring about people.
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Be very clear on this.
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This is not a manipulation tool to where we pretend like we are those things so that we get something out of people.
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That's bull crap, and that that makes you the opposite of a leader.
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So that's why the first step in being a great leader is the evolution of your heart, right?
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And I went through a similar thing as Isaiah.
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I remember I tell this story a lot, but when I was new to business a couple decades ago, it was about money to me.
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And not because I was making so much, I wanted to be rich, it's because I was new to business and didn't have any money.
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So I saw you as a dollar sign and I saw, look, if I don't sign you up as my client, I don't eat.
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My family doesn't eat, so I need your money.
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Well, regardless if, you know, that was a maybe an un understandable way to think, I promise you, the people across from me felt that from me.
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They did not feel genuineness from me.
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So yeah.
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So something happened to me a few years after that phase of my life where, and I always give credit to God on this as I should, because I don't know that I did anything myself to work on this other than talk to God about it.
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And and he worked on my heart.
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And at some point, I made the evolution of realizing, you know what, everyone I come into contact with is a son or daughter of God.
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And I am called to love them like he does.
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And I'm called to guide them to the best lives that they can possibly lead because that's what he would want me to do.
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And, you know, the first thing when I turned this over to Isaiah a minute ago, he brought up was Jesus, right?
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He talks about filling your cup and and when you feel the love of Christ, you know, you don't have any option or choice, again, absent being a psychopath or sociopath, but to turn around and extend that to others.
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That, you know, that so I'm a fervent believer that God gave us that law of reciprocity so we could turn his love back to others.
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And that's what we are called to do.
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And when you come from that mindset around it and and you have that evolution of your heart, then it is genuine, it is real.
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And then any fruits that come from that to me are valid because there's no manipulation involved.
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And one of the best books I've read on this is Lead Like Jesus.
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I remember, so I've been a leadership coach for quite a while, and I have not always done the best job of coaching leadership from a biblical perspective.
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And this was about a year and a half ago, and I'm not sure how much of this Isaiah remembers, but um, I really wanted to bring a concept of reciprocity.
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I'm sorry, reciprocity, that word's in my head, of radical candor to the Chick-fil-A organization that that we run.
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And and that is making sure we're having honest conversations with each other.
00:17:42.269 --> 00:17:45.230
So there's no no stone unturned, no words left unsaid.
00:17:45.310 --> 00:17:49.789
And that's one of the best ways to resolve conflict or to avoid it in the first place.
00:17:49.950 --> 00:17:51.870
So I said, okay, well, I've got to model this.
00:17:51.950 --> 00:17:54.750
And I went around to all the leaders and said, give me radical candor.
00:17:54.830 --> 00:17:59.390
And the number one thing Isaiah said to me that he thought I could do better was teach from more of a biblical perspective.
00:17:59.550 --> 00:18:00.110
Do you remember that?
00:18:00.350 --> 00:18:00.910
Yeah, I do.
00:18:01.070 --> 00:18:01.310
Yeah.
00:18:01.550 --> 00:18:03.390
And I took that to heart and I took it seriously.
00:18:03.470 --> 00:18:05.310
And I think that I've evolved in that.
00:18:05.390 --> 00:18:06.590
I I use it more in my coaching.
00:18:06.670 --> 00:18:14.350
Now it's always been something that I've taught my kids and worked with on them, but I haven't brought it to coaching because let's face it, and this is a bull crap excuse.
00:18:14.509 --> 00:18:16.509
I'm I'm I'm being very transparent about that.
00:18:16.670 --> 00:18:20.430
But we live in a secular world and you never know who wants that and who doesn't.
00:18:20.509 --> 00:18:23.150
So I've just kind of kept that to me and my family, and that was a mistake.
00:18:23.230 --> 00:18:25.390
And Isaiah was kind enough to call me on that.
00:18:25.550 --> 00:18:29.710
But on the heels of that, the very next thing I did was I bought a book called Lee Like Jesus.
00:18:29.870 --> 00:18:34.110
And and I read that book, and then we introduced it to our leadership team.
00:18:34.430 --> 00:18:38.110
And in that book, it talks about this exact concept.
00:18:38.190 --> 00:18:44.430
And it's a Ken Blanchard book, if you want to read it, but he talks about heart to head to hands to habits, and that's the way Jesus led.
00:18:44.590 --> 00:18:49.310
And it was he's going to love people because he is God and he's going to love people.
00:18:49.470 --> 00:18:54.110
And that love is going to change the way he thinks or dictate the way he thinks.
00:18:54.190 --> 00:18:55.630
It's maybe change the way we think.
00:18:55.710 --> 00:18:56.670
He was always that way.
00:18:56.750 --> 00:18:59.070
So it it dictated the way he thinks.
00:18:59.230 --> 00:19:04.750
The way you think will dictate the way you act and behave, and your consistent behavior becomes your habits.
00:19:04.830 --> 00:19:09.390
But it starts with the heart and it starts with the genuine love and care of the people that you lead.
00:19:09.550 --> 00:19:22.029
And when you do that, I think anyone listening has been on the other end of this where you could say, Hey, when someone took good care of me, when someone invested in me, when someone someone showed love for me, especially if this has ever happened to you at work, if it hasn't, I'm sorry.
00:19:22.110 --> 00:19:29.070
But if it has, you were probably had a little more pep in your step and were more willing to work hard and more bought into the cause and all the things.
00:19:29.230 --> 00:19:30.590
Because that's just the way we're wired.
00:19:30.750 --> 00:19:39.630
You know, if we're going to be great leaders, let's tap into the hard wiring and the default way of human nature and the in the and the human condition to lead.
00:19:39.789 --> 00:19:45.230
And this is the greatest way we can do it is by genuinely loving and serving the people that that we are called to lead.
00:19:45.390 --> 00:19:49.150
And I always use the example of the of the upside down org chart, right?
00:19:49.230 --> 00:19:54.190
If you're the top of the org chart, flip it upside down, put yourself at the bottom when it comes to service.
00:19:54.350 --> 00:19:57.710
And then we we lead upwards from there and we serve upwards from there.
00:19:57.870 --> 00:20:05.310
And that way, uh that style of leadership, and that's the only style of leadership, I believe, has profound effects and it's the right way to go about your business.
00:20:05.550 --> 00:20:05.870
Thoughts?
00:20:06.190 --> 00:20:06.670
I love that.
00:20:06.990 --> 00:20:07.710
I love that.
00:20:07.950 --> 00:20:23.630
Um I think care is it's so talked about, and it's so many people throw it out as just a general term, but what is what does the care actually look like?
00:20:23.789 --> 00:20:39.550
Um, and it can look like a ton of things, but when you when you're thinking about it from the perspective of, okay, I'm I'm the leader of this organization, I'm the leader of this meeting, leader of this family unit, and I am trying to influence these people.
00:20:39.630 --> 00:20:46.910
I'm trying to either get them to a certain goal, um, and sometimes like generally you are trying to change their mind on something.
00:20:46.990 --> 00:20:54.430
Um, and that's not manipulation, it's hey, I see what's good for you in the future, um, and I want to help you get there.
00:20:54.670 --> 00:21:09.230
Um I in my I'm trying to wrap my head around this as you and I are talking here, but if care is your standard, um, people will automatically default to your lowest standard.
00:21:09.390 --> 00:21:12.670
I think Jason and I have talked about on this podcast before.
00:21:12.830 --> 00:21:30.670
Um, but if care is your standard, and then there is one single instance of you not caring about something, if it's you walk by the piece of trash, you don't pick it up, it's you show way too much frustration um during a meeting and it's it's not called for and there's not a reason for it.
00:21:30.910 --> 00:21:45.230
If it is, hey, there was an opportunity for you to like pour into this person or they're they were having a really difficult time and you didn't show them care, whatever it is, you can lose all of the instant or all of your influence just like that.
00:21:45.550 --> 00:21:53.630
And it's it it can s it I've seen it happen to people and it's it's almost like was your heart actually ever fully there?
00:21:53.789 --> 00:21:56.430
Were you actually ever fully caring for the person if that happened?
00:21:56.750 --> 00:21:59.150
That's exactly what they think to themselves when you have those bad moments.
00:21:59.310 --> 00:22:00.190
Did he actually care?
00:22:00.350 --> 00:22:00.750
Yep.
00:22:01.150 --> 00:22:01.390
Yep.
00:22:01.630 --> 00:22:04.269
And that's not to say that we can't have F ups.
00:22:04.430 --> 00:22:08.190
That's not to say that that we're all perfect and that that that will never happen.
00:22:08.350 --> 00:22:16.029
Um, but it is to say that it it will grow a question in the mind of your followers whenever that whenever that happens.
00:22:16.269 --> 00:22:20.430
Um Can I pull that thread real quick, real quick before you go to the next thing?
00:22:20.670 --> 00:22:25.550
So let me highlight that because that's a great example you brought up, is we are gonna miss the mark sometimes.
00:22:25.630 --> 00:22:27.710
So if you're listening going Oh, so I got to be perfect?
00:22:27.870 --> 00:22:28.190
No.
00:22:28.350 --> 00:22:37.070
But when you do mess it up and you do fail to show care, because sometimes we don't show care because we're in a hurry, we have something else on our mind, or you know, whatever, things happen.
00:22:37.150 --> 00:22:40.509
But it's when you fail to show care, what do you do about it to make up for it?
00:22:40.670 --> 00:22:46.430
And someone who genuinely doesn't care will never come back around to address it, will never come back around to have that discussion.
00:22:46.590 --> 00:22:50.110
They'll just let the lack of care sit and stand because they actually didn't care.
00:22:50.269 --> 00:22:54.509
So when you do mess it up or you do make somebody feel like you don't care, go rescue it.
00:22:54.670 --> 00:22:55.870
Genuinely rescue it.
00:22:56.029 --> 00:22:57.390
Apologize, own it.
00:22:57.550 --> 00:23:03.710
Tell them you that that what was really going on in your head and that was no excuse, but that's what was happening, and you'll do better next time.
00:23:03.950 --> 00:23:08.670
So a lot of times as a leader, it's not so much whether or not we make the mistake, it's how we handle the mistake once we made it.
00:23:08.910 --> 00:23:09.230
100%.
00:23:09.789 --> 00:23:10.190
100%.
00:23:10.990 --> 00:23:18.190
And then my mind goes to okay, so then how do we actually show care to another human being?
00:23:18.430 --> 00:23:20.990
How can we influence our followers?
00:23:21.150 --> 00:23:24.110
How can we show them that that we truly care about them?
00:23:24.269 --> 00:23:26.750
There's a ton of different ways that you can go about this.
00:23:26.910 --> 00:23:31.150
Um building relationships is to me absolutely paramount.
00:23:31.390 --> 00:23:38.670
Um and there's most people have probably heard the thought process before of I'm gonna learn their favorite sports team.
00:23:38.750 --> 00:23:41.710
They like the Braves, I'm gonna ask them about the Braves sometimes.
00:23:41.789 --> 00:23:42.910
And like that's not bad.
00:23:43.070 --> 00:23:47.070
That is that that is a that is a generally good tactic.
00:23:47.230 --> 00:23:48.430
It's not amazing.
00:23:48.590 --> 00:23:49.630
It's a good tactic.
00:23:49.710 --> 00:23:53.550
I I put it at a a C plus B minus level.
00:23:53.789 --> 00:23:54.590
It's a starting point.
00:23:55.310 --> 00:23:57.789
It is a it is a really, really good starting point.
00:23:58.269 --> 00:24:11.630
Um, when you continue to progress and you want that relationship to grow and you want to build more influence with that person, whenever there is a trial, there's an opportunity for you to show care.
00:24:11.789 --> 00:24:15.150
And I I try to see any sort of trial like that.
00:24:15.310 --> 00:24:22.029
Um so Jason, you may not notice this, but when like I think you and Kelly were sick a week or two ago or a few weeks ago.
00:24:22.269 --> 00:24:22.509
Yeah.
00:24:22.670 --> 00:24:25.150
Whatever it was, like I'm going to jump on that.
00:24:25.310 --> 00:24:27.390
Like, whatever I can do, can I bring you soup?
00:24:27.550 --> 00:24:29.870
Can I can I go to the grocery store?
00:24:29.950 --> 00:24:30.590
What what can I do?
00:24:30.750 --> 00:24:31.789
Can I bring you meds?
00:24:31.950 --> 00:24:33.710
What what can I do to help?
00:24:33.789 --> 00:24:38.910
Um, because I generally want to grow that influence and because I do care about you as a human being.
00:24:39.070 --> 00:24:47.870
Um, those instances are oftentimes our greatest opportunities to build a tremendous amount of care with others.
00:24:48.190 --> 00:24:52.509
Well, and I think too, first and foremost, this this shows you the evil of Isaiah.
00:24:52.670 --> 00:24:56.750
He brings wants to bring soup to Kelly who has a gluten allergy to make her sicker.
00:24:56.910 --> 00:25:00.590
And he didn't say that part, but we all know the real impetus behind it.
00:25:00.750 --> 00:25:02.910
So anyway, yeah, we knew.
00:25:02.990 --> 00:25:04.670
We were aware, we're on to you.
00:25:05.710 --> 00:25:07.230
Anything to keep us out of the building.
00:25:07.470 --> 00:25:07.550
Yeah.
00:25:07.870 --> 00:25:09.950
I thought you would know it was gluten-free or something.
00:25:10.029 --> 00:25:12.590
So no, we don't have gluten-free soup at Chick-fil-A.
00:25:12.750 --> 00:25:20.269
But anyway, um uh you know, uh you said something interesting there that I wanted to elaborate on too.
00:25:20.430 --> 00:25:24.670
You're talking about, okay, well, I want to bring the soup or I want to do the thing, I want to take care of them.
00:25:24.910 --> 00:25:34.110
So a lot of times when we we teach this concept, I can look at people's eyes and and see and read when they're thinking to themselves, how do I learn to care like that?
00:25:34.269 --> 00:25:37.150
Because it is not most people's way of being, like we said earlier.
00:25:37.230 --> 00:25:37.950
It wasn't mine.
00:25:38.190 --> 00:25:40.350
Isaiah mentioned earlier that it wasn't his.
00:25:40.509 --> 00:25:42.670
So I think there's a lot of ways we can evolve this.
00:25:42.830 --> 00:25:58.830
I think you know, getting closer to God is is the best way if we want to go to another way to do it, is let's say that you know people who are sick, and let's keep on that theme, and you have to remind yourself, oh, maybe it'd be a good idea to bring them soup because that's the right thing to do.
00:25:58.990 --> 00:26:01.789
Okay, you're not really doing it because your heart called you to.
00:26:01.870 --> 00:26:04.430
You're doing it because it's a box you wanted to check.
00:26:04.590 --> 00:26:09.390
And that might feel like uh it's it's surface level deep at the most.
00:26:09.550 --> 00:26:14.029
But the reality is that is a way to learn how to be better at caring for people.
00:26:14.190 --> 00:26:19.870
Because what happens is you do bring the soup and it makes you feel good because you realize you help that family, you help that person.
00:26:19.950 --> 00:26:21.630
And oh man, that felt pretty good.
00:26:21.710 --> 00:26:26.190
And the next time an opportunity comes up, if you remind yourself, oh, maybe I should do something nice for them, you do that.
00:26:26.350 --> 00:26:27.550
And that felt pretty good too.
00:26:27.710 --> 00:26:33.070
And if you do that long enough, you know, the science behind it would be back to the neuroplasticity of the rewiring of the brain.
00:26:33.230 --> 00:26:40.910
I think that's one of the scientific ways you could evolve your heart in somebody that cares because I'm a firm believer, and this is biblical as well.
00:26:41.070 --> 00:26:42.590
We are called to serve.
00:26:42.830 --> 00:26:44.190
We are wired to serve.
00:26:44.350 --> 00:26:52.430
And in fact, when I'm coaching somebody who maybe's going through some anxiety issues or depression, I'm not a therapist, I don't treat those things, but we can have discussions around them.
00:26:52.509 --> 00:26:55.550
And there's tactics we can use sometimes to help those things.
00:26:55.710 --> 00:26:59.310
The number one thing I recommend is go serve, especially when someone's feeling depressed.
00:26:59.470 --> 00:27:00.029
Go serve.
00:27:00.190 --> 00:27:01.550
Go serve somebody, right?
00:27:01.710 --> 00:27:06.350
And and because it has a really wild way of making us feel really good.
00:27:06.509 --> 00:27:08.509
Because that's what we're supposed to be and do as humans.
00:27:08.590 --> 00:27:11.550
And if you do that enough, a lot of times it will evolve your heart.
00:27:11.630 --> 00:27:16.110
And as somebody who does that, it's just part of who they are and what and and part of their character.
00:27:16.350 --> 00:27:19.630
Um also elaborating on what Isaiah talked about relationships.
00:27:19.710 --> 00:27:24.430
So one of the things that that that I coach is level one, two, and three relationship building.
00:27:24.590 --> 00:27:26.350
So level one is what he talks about.
00:27:26.430 --> 00:27:27.630
What's your favorite sports team?
00:27:27.710 --> 00:27:28.430
Where do you go to school?
00:27:28.509 --> 00:27:29.630
What do you do for a living?
00:27:29.789 --> 00:27:31.390
You know, how do you feel about the weather today?
00:27:31.470 --> 00:27:32.750
Those are surface level.
00:27:32.910 --> 00:27:35.550
Maybe you can liken it to a first date.
00:27:35.789 --> 00:27:36.110
Right?
00:27:36.190 --> 00:27:41.710
So if I go on a first date, um, I'm not looking to get into their deepest, darkest secrets.
00:27:41.789 --> 00:27:42.590
That's kind of weird.
00:27:42.750 --> 00:27:45.630
We're just gonna talk about surfacey stuff to get to know each other.
00:27:45.870 --> 00:27:48.430
Uh, we tend to do that at work really well.
00:27:48.590 --> 00:27:53.150
Most people do, because it's other the opposite is is weird as well, is we don't speak at all.
00:27:53.390 --> 00:27:56.350
So we tend to have surface relationships at work.
00:27:56.430 --> 00:27:57.470
And there's nothing wrong with that.
00:27:57.550 --> 00:28:00.350
Like we said earlier, it's a starting point, it's a jumping off point.
00:28:00.670 --> 00:28:06.269
But as a leader, you need to have intentionality to pull those relationships a level deeper if you can.
00:28:06.430 --> 00:28:09.870
And level two relationship building might just be hey, what are your goals?
00:28:09.950 --> 00:28:11.150
What are you trying to accomplish?
00:28:11.310 --> 00:28:14.269
Like, what what do you love to do that no one knows about?
00:28:14.430 --> 00:28:18.509
I mean, just kind of things you might talk about on a fourth, fifth, or sixth date.
00:28:18.990 --> 00:28:24.990
Um and then that's where I think most leaders will live.
00:28:25.150 --> 00:28:28.750
That's where most work uh-based relationships will live.
00:28:28.910 --> 00:28:30.670
The it's almost like a bell curve, right?
00:28:30.750 --> 00:28:34.750
You'll have a few that stay surface-y because the person won't allow it to go deeper.
00:28:34.990 --> 00:28:47.789
Then you'll have the bulk of them in the middle of that level two, and then there might be some that evolve into level three, and that's where you get into deepest, darkest secrets, and you really know somebody on a more uh relationally intimate level, not physically intimate level.
00:28:47.950 --> 00:28:50.509
Um, but but uh uh you know then.
00:28:50.990 --> 00:28:52.110
That's first aid stuff right there.
00:28:52.430 --> 00:28:53.150
Absolutely it is.
00:28:53.310 --> 00:29:04.029
So, so but as a leader, we have to have intentionality to move through those levels to get to that with as many people as we can, because that, like I said, is another way to build influence.
00:29:04.190 --> 00:29:17.630
So when we talk about showing care, those relationship building uh methodologies or or or the evolution of that within all your relationships is paramount because I don't know how I can lead somebody if I don't know where they're going.
00:29:17.710 --> 00:29:20.430
And I don't know where they're going when we just talk surface level.
00:29:20.509 --> 00:29:32.670
But I do know where they're going if we get to that level two relationship, and then I can help them on a higher level, which is a great segue into another way we can show care is by investing in people and helping people realize their goals or move towards their goals.
00:29:32.830 --> 00:29:34.830
And that's something I know Isaiah and I coach a lot.
00:29:34.910 --> 00:29:37.070
So, Isaiah, what is what what do you do?
00:29:37.150 --> 00:29:39.789
How what are your ways of helping people accomplish their goals?
00:29:39.870 --> 00:29:45.070
So Mary Smith comes to you and says, Hey, I really want to work at Chick-fil-A Support Center one day.
00:29:45.390 --> 00:29:47.870
What does that what does Isaiah do with that information?
00:29:48.029 --> 00:29:50.830
How do you show care to somebody in that situation?
00:29:51.070 --> 00:29:51.310
Yeah.
00:29:51.470 --> 00:29:55.789
First off, I'm gonna ask really a a ton of questions to to get more context.
00:29:55.870 --> 00:29:58.910
So let's say, yeah, it's Mary, she wants to work at Support Center.
00:29:59.150 --> 00:30:01.630
Um, okay, well, what area do you want to work in?
00:30:01.710 --> 00:30:02.430
Okay, you don't know?
00:30:02.590 --> 00:30:04.830
Okay, well, then let's help you figure out that piece.
00:30:04.990 --> 00:30:09.630
Because I want to make sure that we actually have a target that we're going towards.
00:30:09.789 --> 00:30:12.269
Um, because some people will just throw that out there.
00:30:12.350 --> 00:30:13.789
Um, they don't even know what that means.
00:30:13.950 --> 00:30:19.789
They don't even know where support center is, they don't know um what all that entails, all that good stuff.
00:30:19.870 --> 00:30:23.070
So support center for those listening, that's a great point, Isaiah, by the way.
00:30:23.230 --> 00:30:25.230
The support center is Chick-fil-A's corporate office.
00:30:25.390 --> 00:30:39.870
And it's funny you say that because I went to that, I went down there the other day and the chief marketing officer for Mercedes Benz was speaking to us, and she said that she had never heard the term support center used for a corporate a corporate office, a home office.
00:30:40.269 --> 00:30:44.269
So I that just clicked people may not know what that is, but that's the corporate office of Chick-fil-A.
00:30:44.430 --> 00:30:44.590
Yep.
00:30:44.670 --> 00:30:47.550
It's what Home Depot uses too, and I think it's become more popular.
00:30:47.870 --> 00:30:48.269
Interesting.
00:30:48.509 --> 00:30:49.630
But uh yeah.
00:30:49.870 --> 00:30:58.430
Um but the the general idea is hey, I want to make sure that that you know your target so that we can aim at the at the same thing.
00:30:58.670 --> 00:31:06.670
So okay, now that we have that, um I'm I I need to really figure out what gaps you have.
00:31:07.150 --> 00:31:19.390
Um and if I already have the knowledge of whatever it is, so let's say you're going into something super specific, let's say that she wants to go be an accountant at um at Support Center.
00:31:19.550 --> 00:31:21.870
Okay, well, I can give you some basic accounting skills.
00:31:21.950 --> 00:31:27.710
No, I'm not a certified accountant, I can do everything, um, not my job.
00:31:27.870 --> 00:31:33.950
Um, but what I can do is I can try to learn everything that I can to then assist you.
00:31:34.190 --> 00:31:45.550
Um so if it's even just me saying, hey, this is a really good resource, I I've looked into our research, I think this is an amazing resource for you to look into, even though I may not have to understand all of it.
00:31:45.710 --> 00:31:47.550
But let's say that's something a little bit more general.
00:31:47.630 --> 00:31:52.990
Let's say it's non-accounting, let's say that she wants to go work in um the marketing world.
00:31:53.150 --> 00:31:55.230
Okay, I know some stuff about marketing.
00:31:55.470 --> 00:31:59.150
So I'm going to give you every single thing that I know about marketing.
00:31:59.310 --> 00:32:07.630
And then what I'm going to do on top of that is I'm going to learn more about marketing through books, through podcasts, through um courses, through whatever it is.
00:32:07.789 --> 00:32:13.310
So then I can then give that information to you so you can apply it, go do what you want to in the future.
00:32:13.550 --> 00:32:17.630
Um, so first off, it's understanding what they actually truly want.
00:32:17.710 --> 00:32:22.029
Um, and then two, it's checking do we have the resources to help them get there?
00:32:22.269 --> 00:32:25.470
If we don't, then we need to develop the resources to help them get there.
00:32:25.710 --> 00:32:35.070
Yeah, and I think uh too, and and maybe you alluded to this, but you know, do we have a role within the organization that we could put them in that would help them learn those skills as well?
00:32:35.310 --> 00:32:40.750
But but the whole theme of it is we are it is our obligation to help them accomplish their goals.
00:32:40.910 --> 00:32:44.269
And that is a an incredible way in the workplace to show care.
00:32:44.509 --> 00:32:58.990
And it's wild to me that not enough people feel this way or understand this concept because and I tell the guys at Chick-fil-A this how dare we ask somebody to show up and help us accomplish their goals, but not care one crap about the goals that they want to accomplish.
00:32:59.150 --> 00:32:59.870
It's wrong.
00:33:00.110 --> 00:33:00.590
It's wrong.
00:33:00.670 --> 00:33:01.150
It just is.
00:33:01.310 --> 00:33:01.789
It's wrong.
00:33:02.029 --> 00:33:07.150
And so when relationships work the best is when they're symbiotic, when there is that reciprocity.
00:33:07.310 --> 00:33:14.190
And and we have to evolve and develop those relationships in the workplace because otherwise we don't have a right to ask for their best effort.
00:33:14.350 --> 00:33:17.150
We don't have a right to say, hey, help us accomplish our mission.
00:33:17.310 --> 00:33:20.190
And they can say in their minds, well, what about my personal life mission?
00:33:20.269 --> 00:33:21.230
Oh, we don't care about that.
00:33:21.390 --> 00:33:22.590
How in the world does that work?
00:33:22.750 --> 00:33:24.509
How does how A, how is that okay?
00:33:24.670 --> 00:33:28.350
And B, how do we ever expect to get somebody's best performance?
00:33:28.509 --> 00:33:31.550
How do we expect them to be bought in if we don't care about them?
00:33:31.789 --> 00:33:36.670
So as we round out this episode, you know, if you look at the last episode in this episode, there's a running theme.
00:33:36.830 --> 00:33:46.750
And the theme is, hey, when we create a vision and a mission for the organization, make sure that vision and mission benefits the people as well, not just the organization or the leaders of that organization.
00:33:46.910 --> 00:33:50.910
And when we're building influence, make sure we're extending care and we care about their goals.
00:33:51.150 --> 00:33:52.990
We care about their family lives.
00:33:53.150 --> 00:33:57.870
You know, you know, it that are we allowing them to have time off to tend to their family issues?
00:33:58.029 --> 00:34:02.430
Or are we, you know, trying to drive them into the ground with overworking them?
00:34:02.509 --> 00:34:07.710
Um, are we expecting them to answer the call at 9 30 at night on a Friday when they're trying to have family time?
00:34:07.870 --> 00:34:11.309
You know, it's extending care to people in every way that we can think about.
00:34:11.469 --> 00:34:13.949
And this is why I talk about leadership as a mindset.
00:34:14.029 --> 00:34:15.150
It's a way of thinking.
00:34:15.309 --> 00:34:26.429
And your default way of thinking, if you want to be a great leader, and I get very passionate about this topic, if you want to be a great leader, your default way of thinking better be all the time, how can I make these people's lives better?
00:34:26.590 --> 00:34:26.989
Period.
00:34:27.309 --> 00:34:28.909
And there's a lot of ways to do that.
00:34:29.070 --> 00:34:36.349
And when your mind thinks that way and it's always tuned into that, you will get more creative and the and the avenues in which you can execute that.
00:34:36.510 --> 00:34:43.630
But the minute we make it about us, the minute we make it about our egos, the minute we make it about our goals, that channel in our brain shuts down.
00:34:43.869 --> 00:34:50.190
We are no longer have those channels open to ideas of how we can show care, and we stop showing care.
00:34:50.269 --> 00:34:54.670
The people pick up on that, they stop caring about us and our goals, and the whole thing falls apart.
00:34:54.909 --> 00:35:02.030
So if you want to be somebody who builds influence, create a vision and mission that benefits the organization, of course, but also benefits the people.
00:35:02.269 --> 00:35:11.550
Develop yourself and master yourself in a way that you you you check your ego at the door, you manage your emotions at a high level, and you develop the love and care of other people.
00:35:11.710 --> 00:35:14.590
And what we talked about today was how you execute that love and care.
00:35:14.750 --> 00:35:24.510
And if you can have that be your default way of being and you can have that be what your genuine heart stands for and what you genuinely believe in, you will have no problem building influence.
00:35:24.590 --> 00:35:26.510
You will have no problem building relationships.
00:35:26.670 --> 00:35:31.309
There's still one leg of the stool, though, which we'll talk about in episode three that has to be in place.
00:35:31.470 --> 00:35:33.950
But once we check those boxes, we're a long way down the road.
00:35:34.030 --> 00:35:36.190
So with that being said, Isaiah, close us out.
00:35:36.269 --> 00:35:37.230
Um, any last words?
00:35:37.309 --> 00:35:38.829
I think you know, I'm gonna glaze him.
00:35:38.909 --> 00:35:41.630
He lay every compliment each other, he likes to say it's glaze.
00:35:41.789 --> 00:35:44.110
I call it a compliment, but I'm not young and hip like him.
00:35:44.349 --> 00:35:47.869
So uh but but Isaiah is is is phenomenal at this.
00:35:47.950 --> 00:35:50.269
He is he he he is he knows this already.
00:35:50.349 --> 00:35:59.070
He's one of my favorite people on earth, and and the last two and a half years getting to know him has been one of the one of the greatest joys and and and honors of my life, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
00:35:59.150 --> 00:36:04.670
He's just one of those people that you want in your life, and and I feel that way because he executes this at a high level.
00:36:04.829 --> 00:36:15.389
So with that being said, and that was genuine, not glaze, um when I say all that or or or everything I said the last two or three minutes, what's a great way to close this the this this episode out?
00:36:15.470 --> 00:36:16.990
What's a message you can get people to take home?
00:36:17.230 --> 00:36:21.950
Yeah, I wanna my mind was thinking as you're talking, and uh well, first off, I appreciate all that.
00:36:22.030 --> 00:36:23.230
It's very kind of you.
00:36:23.470 --> 00:36:33.869
But second, uh when it's when there's a difficult conversation that happens, um, because we we talk about care and and during the good times, all of it's relatively easy.
00:36:34.030 --> 00:36:36.510
Some people really, really struggle to see it in the hard times.
00:36:36.670 --> 00:36:44.909
When you have to give that person the difficult feedback, um, when they need to hear it, even though they're in a struggling period, whatever it is.
00:36:45.230 --> 00:36:57.389
Um when it comes across as like your thoughts are generally geared towards how can I help this person do what they need to do to succeed?
00:36:57.630 --> 00:37:00.030
It's not, hey, how can I help the business succeed?
00:37:00.110 --> 00:37:06.829
They're missing the mark, or hey, how can I make my job easier by them actually doing their job?
00:37:06.990 --> 00:37:10.349
Um, how can I best serve me?
00:37:10.510 --> 00:37:12.349
No, it is literally all about them.
00:37:12.430 --> 00:37:13.630
It is all about them.
00:37:13.869 --> 00:37:28.909
So when your mindset shifts to I care about this person across from me so incredibly much that I'm going to speak a different way, that I'm going to tap into something different in my mind that is just genuine love and care for them.
00:37:28.990 --> 00:37:33.070
Um, it changes the entire dynamic of the conversation.
00:37:33.230 --> 00:37:35.630
Um, and I think that that person truly feels it.
00:37:35.710 --> 00:37:37.389
You you alluded to that earlier.
00:37:37.470 --> 00:37:41.470
Um, but I've had a few difficult conversations within the past couple years.
00:37:41.710 --> 00:37:50.110
And I've had, I think it's three total, people that have come back up to me that have said, thank you so much, or something along those lines.
00:37:50.269 --> 00:38:02.829
And like you should it's very rare that that happens because most times people will be upset even if they, even if they don't say, even if they don't show it, they still have a thought in the back of their mind.
00:38:02.990 --> 00:38:07.309
Um, but down the road, they're gonna be like, damn, like I appreciate that.
00:38:07.389 --> 00:38:13.070
That's the that's the easy teacher versus the teacher that was on your ass the whole time back in the day.
00:38:13.230 --> 00:38:28.110
Um and I I just I want to give that word too, um, because I think some people think of care as all this frou fru stuff, and it's like it it is genuinely loving and caring for the person, but you can do that with tough love as well.
00:38:28.349 --> 00:38:29.710
Yeah, I'm so glad you you said that.
00:38:29.869 --> 00:38:35.070
That was actually something that we should have touched on earlier because showing care is not all roses and rainbows.
00:38:35.150 --> 00:38:36.990
It's it's saying the hard thing too.
00:38:37.150 --> 00:38:41.869
And it's it's it's doing the kind thing that we talk about, not the nice thing.
00:38:42.030 --> 00:38:44.909
It's allowing yourself as a leader to be uncomfortable.
00:38:45.070 --> 00:38:55.550
Um, I made a video the other day talking about you know what separates good leaders or or average leaders from great leaders is their tolerance for discomfort and their tolerance for tough conversations and tough feedback.
00:38:55.789 --> 00:39:01.309
And when those tough uh pieces of tough feedback are given out of love and care, they're they're incredibly valuable.
00:39:01.389 --> 00:39:07.470
So yeah, I'm glad you closed it with that because that's that's a very important point to make that care can be ugly sometimes too.
00:39:07.550 --> 00:39:10.750
And if you don't believe that, if you have kids, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
00:39:10.909 --> 00:39:15.869
Um it can be really tough, um, but at the end of the day, you got to tell people what they need to hear.
00:39:16.030 --> 00:39:17.230
So great way to close it.
00:39:17.309 --> 00:39:17.789
I appreciate it.
00:39:17.869 --> 00:39:18.909
Thanks everyone for listening.
00:39:19.070 --> 00:39:21.869
And again, this is part two of a three-part episode.
00:39:22.110 --> 00:39:24.990
And next week we will come back and touch on the four C's.
00:39:25.150 --> 00:39:31.950
We were gonna do it today, but we flipped it, and we'll come back and talk about the four C's, and and that'll close out the conversation on influence.
00:39:32.110 --> 00:39:41.389
And once you combine all three of these episodes and you can make this your way of leading, I promise you you will see incredible transformations in every area of your life.
00:39:41.470 --> 00:39:42.670
So thanks again for listening.
00:39:42.750 --> 00:39:43.630
We'll wrap it up there.
00:39:43.789 --> 00:39:50.990
If you guys are liking the podcast, you like our message, you like what we're doing, please let us know that and and please give us a five star rating.
00:39:51.150 --> 00:39:55.470
If you don't think we deserve that or you think there's things we could be doing better, please reach out and tell us that as well.
00:39:55.630 --> 00:40:03.950
That is incredibly valuable for us to know because we're trying to we're we're newer to this, so we're trying to be the best we can at it and make sure we're delivering the message you guys want to hear.
00:40:04.110 --> 00:40:05.230
So uh do that.
00:40:05.309 --> 00:40:06.590
That would be greatly appreciated.
00:40:06.670 --> 00:40:08.590
And until next week, we will see you then.
00:40:08.829 --> 00:40:09.550
Adios.
00:00:26.750 --> 00:00:29.470
All right, and welcome back to the Second Mile Leadership Podcast.
00:00:29.550 --> 00:00:31.310
We are your hosts, Jason and Isaiah.
00:00:31.550 --> 00:00:41.469
And hopefully you tuned in for last episode where we started talking about influence and the utilization of influence over authority in the world of leadership.
00:00:41.710 --> 00:00:46.109
And you know, I saw something actually on social media today that that was interesting.
00:00:46.189 --> 00:00:57.310
It was by a very, very well-known leadership company, and they're people I respect immensely, but they had a picture up that said, if you interact with people, you're a leader.
00:00:57.469 --> 00:01:00.030
And my first response to that is that's not true.
00:01:00.190 --> 00:01:10.109
But in the caption, I think they rescued it because then they said what I was thinking in the moment was if you interact with people on a regular basis, you have the opportunity to lead.
00:01:10.189 --> 00:01:11.710
And that's a better way to say it.
00:01:11.870 --> 00:01:17.469
And because I don't think you're a leader just because you interact with people, and I don't think you're a leader just because you're a boss or have authority.
00:01:17.629 --> 00:01:21.710
I think you're a leader if your people see you that way and if you have influence over them.
00:01:21.870 --> 00:01:26.750
And every time we interact with a human being, we have an opportunity to lead.
00:01:26.909 --> 00:01:39.629
And, you know, we talk about the concept of having a leadership bank account, and every interaction is an opportunity to invest money in that account or pull money out and and you know, or or capital out is a is a better way to say that.
00:01:39.790 --> 00:01:45.549
So so that's one of the many ways we can think about leadership as it pertains to influence.
00:01:45.629 --> 00:01:54.350
And in the last episode, we talked about the importance of having a mission and a vision and how it really starts with mastering yourself first if you want to have influence.
00:01:54.510 --> 00:01:59.629
And we're going to touch on that even more today and in episode three of this conversation.
00:01:59.870 --> 00:02:06.909
But Isaiah, when you know, we're talking about influence, you know, I always teach the three-legged stool.
00:02:07.150 --> 00:02:11.790
And leg one, uh let me say it this way, leg three, we'll talk about in the next episode.
00:02:11.870 --> 00:02:14.590
But legs one and two is what we'll talk about today.
00:02:14.829 --> 00:02:17.310
And that really centers around care.
00:02:17.469 --> 00:02:24.909
And it's really hard to build influence as a leader if you don't genuinely care for your people and they don't know that you care for them.
00:02:25.069 --> 00:02:35.389
So kick us off today with your thoughts around uh where you want to go with this episode and how we can keep building out the avatar of what somebody who is a great builder of influence does.
00:02:35.790 --> 00:02:35.949
Yeah.
00:02:36.030 --> 00:02:39.790
First off, I want to point out you you said you were on social media earlier today.
00:02:39.949 --> 00:02:40.430
Is that correct?
00:02:40.829 --> 00:02:41.949
Yeah, yeah, I was, yeah.
00:02:42.269 --> 00:02:42.750
Oof.
00:02:42.910 --> 00:02:43.389
Oof.
00:02:43.790 --> 00:02:44.269
Yeah.
00:02:44.589 --> 00:02:45.310
I'm just joking.
00:02:45.709 --> 00:02:46.509
You got a problem with that?
00:02:46.670 --> 00:02:48.189
This was uh you know, just a little bit.
00:02:48.350 --> 00:02:49.949
Just before workout, man.
00:02:50.030 --> 00:02:53.949
I get up at 2 30 every morning, you know, to work out and run 42 miles.
00:02:54.030 --> 00:02:59.470
And and it was before that workout that I was on social media just while I was using the restroom.
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That's it.
00:03:00.189 --> 00:03:00.589
Gotcha.
00:03:00.670 --> 00:03:01.310
That's unfortunate.
00:03:03.550 --> 00:03:05.870
Yeah, but I did 42 and then 5,000 pull-ups.
00:03:06.030 --> 00:03:06.910
So wow.
00:03:07.069 --> 00:03:10.030
I did 5,001 pull-ups right after.
00:03:10.589 --> 00:03:11.709
But that was my war business.
00:03:12.030 --> 00:03:13.069
Then I got into the workout.
00:03:13.550 --> 00:03:13.790
Yeah.
00:03:14.110 --> 00:03:14.750
Yeah.
00:03:15.149 --> 00:03:15.949
That was wild.
00:03:16.189 --> 00:03:16.350
Yeah.
00:03:16.829 --> 00:03:18.110
We're building a lot of influence here.
00:03:18.430 --> 00:03:18.829
Absolutely.
00:03:19.230 --> 00:03:20.430
Telling the truth, too.
00:03:20.750 --> 00:03:26.910
Um you and I often say that like the the followers really determine the leader.
00:03:27.149 --> 00:03:30.350
Um I think that's so, so, so, so true.
00:03:30.589 --> 00:03:36.110
You can be put in a management position, you can be put in a leadership position, and you have no freaking idea how to lead.
00:03:36.350 --> 00:03:37.870
Um, that's why we're here to help.
00:03:38.189 --> 00:03:49.389
But I I truly believe that when the followers see a tremendous amount of care for them as the individual from the leader, that they then view them as the leader.
00:03:49.550 --> 00:03:56.269
Um, and then based off of that, um, there are numerous uh benefits that come off of that.
00:03:56.430 --> 00:03:59.870
Um, but we can get into that in another episode.
00:04:00.030 --> 00:04:16.030
Um, but I think servant leadership has been thrown around so much, and it's so unfortunate because it is a really, really good concept, and the the term um is just I think it's being associated with something different.
00:04:16.189 --> 00:04:21.230
Um, when I say servant leadership, I'm not saying subservient leadership.
00:04:21.310 --> 00:04:25.629
Um, it does not mean that you get walked on all the time, doesn't mean that you're the welcome mat.
00:04:25.870 --> 00:04:32.030
It means that you serve and you love and you care for your people, exactly as Jesus did.
00:04:32.350 --> 00:04:40.829
So when we truly live our lives, when we lead in a way that shows care to our followers, it changes everything.
00:04:41.069 --> 00:04:46.509
This is a very, very simple little phrase, but it's the concept of we over me.
00:04:47.069 --> 00:04:54.509
Um, we should never be doing any of the things that we're trying to do in the business, in the family unit, whatever it is, for your benefit.
00:04:54.670 --> 00:04:57.390
It is for the benefit of your followers.
00:04:57.550 --> 00:05:05.150
And thus, your followers' benefit, I promise you on the back end, you will receive that benefit like tenfold.
00:05:05.470 --> 00:05:08.189
Um, so that's kind of where my mind first goes to.
00:05:08.270 --> 00:05:15.310
But I I've I've been kind of frustrated because I I think some people just use that in a in a way that it's like, oh, we'll just serve all the time.
00:05:15.390 --> 00:05:18.830
And you're like, yes, you should absolutely serve a crap ton of the time.
00:05:18.990 --> 00:05:27.870
And listen, I'm I'm the type of guy where I like um my my wife's drinking protein waters at the moment to try to hit her protein goal.
00:05:28.110 --> 00:05:31.470
And so I'm making those for her throughout the week.
00:05:31.550 --> 00:05:36.270
Um, I'm trying to help her meal prep throughout the week so she doesn't have to worry about any of that.
00:05:36.350 --> 00:05:38.350
So I'm trying to reduce any friction possible.
00:05:38.430 --> 00:05:43.150
I'm trying to serve her in any single way that I can to help her reach her goals.
00:05:43.310 --> 00:05:47.069
Um, but that doesn't mean that I should be walked on all the time either.
00:05:47.230 --> 00:05:49.629
It doesn't mean that I should do every little thing around the house.
00:05:49.710 --> 00:05:51.790
It doesn't mean that I should make all the food.
00:05:51.949 --> 00:05:57.230
Um, but I it it does mean that I should show a tremendous amount of love and care for her.
00:05:57.550 --> 00:06:02.910
Well, i a couple of things I want to, you know, uh elaborate on there from what you were talking about.
00:06:03.069 --> 00:06:08.030
First and foremost, one of the most important traits we must have as a leader is humility.
00:06:08.270 --> 00:06:10.430
And you're talking about service.
00:06:10.590 --> 00:06:13.150
Well, it takes a lot of humility to serve.
00:06:13.390 --> 00:06:19.550
But humility, and this is uh, you know, I've heard Simon Sinek say this, and I don't know if he's the originator of it.
00:06:19.710 --> 00:06:28.590
Um funny thing is, is I had a social media post I put out a month or so ago and and gave credit to Simon Sinek for the term leaders eat last.
00:06:28.910 --> 00:06:34.110
And I had somebody come in my comments, that's a marine term, not a Simon Sinek term, and kind of roasted me a little bit.
00:06:34.430 --> 00:06:35.069
Yeah, right.
00:06:35.230 --> 00:06:44.270
So uh so I want to I don't know if Simon Sinek's the one that said this, but that's where I heard it, and that is that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but it's thinking of yourself less.
00:06:44.509 --> 00:06:57.710
So when you talk about service, not being subservient, subservience where I, you know, a lot of leadership, and if we want to just talk about the service part of that, you know, it it's it's a mindset, it's a way of thinking, it's a way of being.
00:06:57.949 --> 00:07:05.230
It and and when we talk about service, we're not talking about being subservient or being lesser than or thinking lesser than of yourself.
00:07:05.390 --> 00:07:12.670
It is positioning yourself a certain way in your mind so that you know that your default way of being when you walk in the door is to serve the people.
00:07:12.910 --> 00:07:13.710
Why are you doing that?
00:07:13.870 --> 00:07:17.629
You're doing that because they are theoretically working their butts off for you.
00:07:17.790 --> 00:07:19.390
So it's the least you can do.
00:07:19.629 --> 00:07:24.910
Um the uh there's three things I wanted uh to kind of pull on here, then I'll let you elaborate on the third one.
00:07:25.069 --> 00:07:36.350
But the second one is I've always, well, I don't know if always is the right word as much as I've evolved into realizing that the term servant leadership is redundant because the question is can you lead without service?
00:07:36.509 --> 00:07:38.509
So do we need the servant part of that?
00:07:38.670 --> 00:07:43.949
Um, you know, if you're gonna tell me there's a different kind of leadership that doesn't involve service, then it's not leadership.
00:07:44.270 --> 00:07:50.030
So I think every style and type of leadership should involve a high level of service.
00:07:50.270 --> 00:07:59.310
And then one concept I want to introduce, we touched out on the last episode, and Isaiah, I'll let you run with uh debate on this one, but we're talking about influence, okay?
00:07:59.550 --> 00:08:06.430
We're talking about the idea that, okay, we don't want the people around us to perform and execute at a high level because we're making them.
00:08:06.590 --> 00:08:08.189
In fact, that won't even work.
00:08:08.350 --> 00:08:14.590
It doesn't work because me telling you to do something almost never elicits your best performance.
00:08:14.750 --> 00:08:22.430
But you doing it because you want to do it, because you're fired up about it, because you believe in it, more often than not will deliver top-level performance.
00:08:22.750 --> 00:08:34.509
So if we want to to have our team operating at the highest level, then they need to, or we need to have the influence with them so that they check all those boxes of wanting to do it.
00:08:34.590 --> 00:08:38.029
They're fired up, they believe in it, they they're bought into the cause, all the things.
00:08:38.189 --> 00:08:48.189
Well, one of the biggest ways we do that is by genuinely, and I use that word very emphatically here, genuinely loving and caring about the people that we that we lead.
00:08:48.429 --> 00:08:52.590
And I think for a lot of people, learning to do that is an evolution.
00:08:52.750 --> 00:09:01.229
I don't know how natural it comes to us to genuinely love and care for people that either we don't really know very well or maybe that we don't even like.
00:09:01.389 --> 00:09:03.870
Um, I don't think that that is our default as humans.
00:09:03.949 --> 00:09:24.349
And I think it's an evolution and a growth and and and oftentimes a skill and and sometimes maybe just a reevaluation of our hearts that lead us to genuinely, genuinely loving and caring for the people we serve and lead and and and helping them accomplish their goals and wanting the best for them.
00:09:24.669 --> 00:09:33.870
So when we when we're able to genuinely have that heart transformation, then there's a lot of influence that comes from that.
00:09:34.029 --> 00:09:40.829
The reason that works so well, and I even hate to use that verb is because it sounds like it's a ploy or a trick or a manipulation, but it's absolutely not.
00:09:40.990 --> 00:09:48.429
But the reason it works so well with humans is because of the law of reciprocity that we did touch on last episode.
00:09:48.669 --> 00:09:50.750
And that is just the way we are wired.
00:09:50.829 --> 00:09:51.949
We are reciprocal creatures.
00:09:52.029 --> 00:09:57.469
So when something is done for us or to us, there's a feeling or a need to want to reciprocate that action on some level.
00:09:57.629 --> 00:10:02.429
I'm not saying we're trying to meet the action with the same action, but we want to meet it with some kind of something.
00:10:02.589 --> 00:10:04.829
So you give me a gift, I'm gonna want to say thank you.
00:10:04.909 --> 00:10:06.750
You give me a gift, I may want to get you a gift.
00:10:06.829 --> 00:10:09.309
You know, you do a favor for me, I want to do a favor for you.
00:10:09.469 --> 00:10:10.909
That's just the way we're wired.
00:10:11.149 --> 00:10:15.549
So, Isaiah, let's elaborate on this law of reciprocity thing.
00:10:15.709 --> 00:10:18.990
You're you are genuinely one of the most loving, caring humans I've known.
00:10:19.149 --> 00:10:20.829
It's one of the reasons I love you to death.
00:10:20.990 --> 00:10:36.909
And how have you seen the law of reciprocity show up in your life, either in your your personal life or in your um work life, where this cause because one thing for people who don't know Isaiah, his love and care for people is genuine, as genuine as I've been around.
00:10:37.149 --> 00:10:40.750
So that you've had to have seen how that affects other people.
00:10:40.990 --> 00:10:42.429
So elaborate on that for us.
00:10:42.509 --> 00:10:46.269
Like, how have you seen that placement of your heart affect other people?
00:10:46.509 --> 00:10:48.110
Yeah, that's such a good question.
00:10:48.349 --> 00:10:58.589
Um, my mind immediately goes to you, you have to you have to develop that internally before you see any effects of it externally.
00:10:58.829 --> 00:11:07.389
Um there was a a long time in my life where I did not have um a deep amount of love and care in my heart.
00:11:07.549 --> 00:11:17.389
I would see um people hurting, or I would see people that are mistreated or you know, bullied in high school, or whatever it was.
00:11:17.629 --> 00:11:21.549
My heart would be like, yeah, that's not good, but my heart wouldn't break for those people.
00:11:21.709 --> 00:11:29.309
And I believe what what changed is that I was like, I mean, uh realistically, I came to know Christ.
00:11:29.629 --> 00:11:38.829
People in the church often use the metaphor of like God kind of pours into your cup and then you pour out of that cup into others' cups.
00:11:38.990 --> 00:11:42.349
Well, if you think about it, that is essentially the law of reciprocity.
00:11:42.429 --> 00:11:49.229
It's hey, I'm receiving all this love from Jesus, and then I'm taking that love and then I'm pouring it out into other people.
00:11:49.469 --> 00:11:51.549
Those people receive that love.
00:11:51.709 --> 00:11:56.509
Um, and if it's genuine love, then they don't really have an option.
00:11:56.589 --> 00:12:01.309
It's it's like, okay, well, I need to pour this back in, or I need to pour this to someone else.
00:12:01.549 --> 00:12:09.549
Um, there's an example too of I where Jordan and I um I'll I'll share a brief funny story.
00:12:09.709 --> 00:12:13.309
There was this like Wednesday night college um group.
00:12:13.469 --> 00:12:16.269
I think your daughter's gone to it a couple of times, Jason.
00:12:16.509 --> 00:12:16.669
Yeah.
00:12:16.990 --> 00:12:24.189
But they like that's where Jordan and I kind of reconnected um when we were in college because we met in high school.
00:12:24.429 --> 00:12:30.429
And in like she didn't know that I went, I just kind of sat two rows behind her, like a creepy stalker guy.
00:12:30.669 --> 00:12:35.069
Um, and then you know, eventually we started talking and everything, and everything worked out.
00:12:35.149 --> 00:12:36.349
So that's that's great.
00:12:36.509 --> 00:12:39.469
But so so so your message is stalking works.
00:12:39.709 --> 00:12:40.750
Correct, correct.
00:12:40.990 --> 00:12:41.549
Got it, got it.
00:12:41.709 --> 00:12:41.949
I don't know.
00:12:42.029 --> 00:12:42.349
Write that down.
00:12:43.789 --> 00:12:46.110
I don't know if I would use that direct quotation.
00:12:46.589 --> 00:12:50.349
Um, but hey, it it's sounds like that's what you did.
00:12:50.429 --> 00:12:51.949
So yes, continue.
00:12:52.349 --> 00:13:05.389
Um but anyways, um in that Wednesday night group, one day, this was insane because as like a broke college kid, um receiving this was crazy, but they had an envelope for every single person that was there.
00:13:05.549 --> 00:13:11.870
Um and they gave it like a undisclosed amount of money to to every single kid.
00:13:11.949 --> 00:13:23.389
Um, and it was from this extremely wealthy family in the area that they wanted to like exemplify and show the gift that giving can bring to the individual.
00:13:23.549 --> 00:13:28.909
So when you give out of the kindness of your heart, like you just you like you feel better.
00:13:28.990 --> 00:13:32.349
Um that's why it says it's more blessed to give than receive.
00:13:32.509 --> 00:13:36.990
And so I got that gift and um Jordan and I like just started talking around this time.
00:13:37.149 --> 00:13:45.469
Like I think I I can't remember exactly where she used her money, but I remember using it um to pay for like a few cars behind me.
00:13:45.549 --> 00:13:49.549
Uh I don't know what how many cars it ended up being, but in a drive-thru line.
00:13:49.629 --> 00:13:51.629
And like it genuinely just felt so good.
00:13:51.870 --> 00:13:55.789
I don't exactly know what those people did with the money that they saved from that.
00:13:55.870 --> 00:14:05.149
Um, but I do know that it it felt amazing to me and it it kind of lifted me up um because of the the generosity that those people showed to me.
00:14:05.229 --> 00:14:13.389
Um, and then it led me to being a more giving person, like that one instance, and I think it was like 20 bucks, it was nothing crazy.
00:14:13.629 --> 00:14:17.229
Um, but the the law of reciprocity is huge.
00:14:17.389 --> 00:14:21.309
Like you understand that concept and you enact it in your day-to-day life.
00:14:21.469 --> 00:14:25.629
It g it it truly has the power to change everything in your life.
00:14:25.870 --> 00:14:35.789
Um, it's it's been so cool to see it work out on the back end of things, um, because you just starting to get to know a new employee.
00:14:36.029 --> 00:14:43.549
Um, there's not a great relationship there, but then you do something like genuinely kind and loving to them.
00:14:43.789 --> 00:14:48.189
Um one, it it builds the relationship, it shows care, all that's beautiful.
00:14:48.349 --> 00:14:52.990
Um, two, they then want to work harder for you as a result of that.
00:14:53.149 --> 00:14:57.629
So I could go on and on about that, but yeah, that that's where my my mind goes to first.
00:14:57.870 --> 00:15:08.509
Yeah, and as long as the the things that you're doing and and your heart and the things you do are genuine and sincere, and you're not doing them for the reciprocity of it.
00:15:08.669 --> 00:15:10.349
We're talking about the law of reciprocity.
00:15:10.429 --> 00:15:15.229
It's just a byproduct of being a good human, a byproduct of a loving and caring about people.
00:15:15.469 --> 00:15:16.429
Be very clear on this.
00:15:16.589 --> 00:15:21.469
This is not a manipulation tool to where we pretend like we are those things so that we get something out of people.
00:15:21.629 --> 00:15:25.069
That's bull crap, and that that makes you the opposite of a leader.
00:15:25.229 --> 00:15:30.189
So that's why the first step in being a great leader is the evolution of your heart, right?
00:15:30.269 --> 00:15:32.269
And I went through a similar thing as Isaiah.
00:15:32.429 --> 00:15:37.549
I remember I tell this story a lot, but when I was new to business a couple decades ago, it was about money to me.
00:15:37.629 --> 00:15:42.269
And not because I was making so much, I wanted to be rich, it's because I was new to business and didn't have any money.
00:15:42.429 --> 00:15:47.870
So I saw you as a dollar sign and I saw, look, if I don't sign you up as my client, I don't eat.
00:15:48.029 --> 00:15:49.949
My family doesn't eat, so I need your money.
00:15:50.110 --> 00:15:57.789
Well, regardless if, you know, that was a maybe an un understandable way to think, I promise you, the people across from me felt that from me.
00:15:57.949 --> 00:16:00.589
They did not feel genuineness from me.
00:16:01.069 --> 00:16:02.110
So yeah.
00:16:02.349 --> 00:16:13.870
So something happened to me a few years after that phase of my life where, and I always give credit to God on this as I should, because I don't know that I did anything myself to work on this other than talk to God about it.
00:16:14.029 --> 00:16:16.110
And and he worked on my heart.
00:16:16.189 --> 00:16:23.549
And at some point, I made the evolution of realizing, you know what, everyone I come into contact with is a son or daughter of God.
00:16:23.629 --> 00:16:25.549
And I am called to love them like he does.
00:16:25.709 --> 00:16:32.669
And I'm called to guide them to the best lives that they can possibly lead because that's what he would want me to do.
00:16:32.990 --> 00:16:38.990
And, you know, the first thing when I turned this over to Isaiah a minute ago, he brought up was Jesus, right?
00:16:39.069 --> 00:16:50.110
He talks about filling your cup and and when you feel the love of Christ, you know, you don't have any option or choice, again, absent being a psychopath or sociopath, but to turn around and extend that to others.
00:16:50.269 --> 00:16:56.429
That, you know, that so I'm a fervent believer that God gave us that law of reciprocity so we could turn his love back to others.
00:16:56.589 --> 00:16:58.189
And that's what we are called to do.
00:16:58.269 --> 00:17:04.269
And when you come from that mindset around it and and you have that evolution of your heart, then it is genuine, it is real.
00:17:04.430 --> 00:17:09.309
And then any fruits that come from that to me are valid because there's no manipulation involved.
00:17:09.549 --> 00:17:13.390
And one of the best books I've read on this is Lead Like Jesus.
00:17:13.549 --> 00:17:23.230
I remember, so I've been a leadership coach for quite a while, and I have not always done the best job of coaching leadership from a biblical perspective.
00:17:23.549 --> 00:17:31.950
And this was about a year and a half ago, and I'm not sure how much of this Isaiah remembers, but um, I really wanted to bring a concept of reciprocity.
00:17:32.110 --> 00:17:38.350
I'm sorry, reciprocity, that word's in my head, of radical candor to the Chick-fil-A organization that that we run.
00:17:38.590 --> 00:17:42.110
And and that is making sure we're having honest conversations with each other.
00:17:42.269 --> 00:17:45.230
So there's no no stone unturned, no words left unsaid.
00:17:45.310 --> 00:17:49.789
And that's one of the best ways to resolve conflict or to avoid it in the first place.
00:17:49.950 --> 00:17:51.870
So I said, okay, well, I've got to model this.
00:17:51.950 --> 00:17:54.750
And I went around to all the leaders and said, give me radical candor.
00:17:54.830 --> 00:17:59.390
And the number one thing Isaiah said to me that he thought I could do better was teach from more of a biblical perspective.
00:17:59.550 --> 00:18:00.110
Do you remember that?
00:18:00.350 --> 00:18:00.910
Yeah, I do.
00:18:01.070 --> 00:18:01.310
Yeah.
00:18:01.550 --> 00:18:03.390
And I took that to heart and I took it seriously.
00:18:03.470 --> 00:18:05.310
And I think that I've evolved in that.
00:18:05.390 --> 00:18:06.590
I I use it more in my coaching.
00:18:06.670 --> 00:18:14.350
Now it's always been something that I've taught my kids and worked with on them, but I haven't brought it to coaching because let's face it, and this is a bull crap excuse.
00:18:14.509 --> 00:18:16.509
I'm I'm I'm being very transparent about that.
00:18:16.670 --> 00:18:20.430
But we live in a secular world and you never know who wants that and who doesn't.
00:18:20.509 --> 00:18:23.150
So I've just kind of kept that to me and my family, and that was a mistake.
00:18:23.230 --> 00:18:25.390
And Isaiah was kind enough to call me on that.
00:18:25.550 --> 00:18:29.710
But on the heels of that, the very next thing I did was I bought a book called Lee Like Jesus.
00:18:29.870 --> 00:18:34.110
And and I read that book, and then we introduced it to our leadership team.
00:18:34.430 --> 00:18:38.110
And in that book, it talks about this exact concept.
00:18:38.190 --> 00:18:44.430
And it's a Ken Blanchard book, if you want to read it, but he talks about heart to head to hands to habits, and that's the way Jesus led.
00:18:44.590 --> 00:18:49.310
And it was he's going to love people because he is God and he's going to love people.
00:18:49.470 --> 00:18:54.110
And that love is going to change the way he thinks or dictate the way he thinks.
00:18:54.190 --> 00:18:55.630
It's maybe change the way we think.
00:18:55.710 --> 00:18:56.670
He was always that way.
00:18:56.750 --> 00:18:59.070
So it it dictated the way he thinks.
00:18:59.230 --> 00:19:04.750
The way you think will dictate the way you act and behave, and your consistent behavior becomes your habits.
00:19:04.830 --> 00:19:09.390
But it starts with the heart and it starts with the genuine love and care of the people that you lead.
00:19:09.550 --> 00:19:22.029
And when you do that, I think anyone listening has been on the other end of this where you could say, Hey, when someone took good care of me, when someone invested in me, when someone someone showed love for me, especially if this has ever happened to you at work, if it hasn't, I'm sorry.
00:19:22.110 --> 00:19:29.070
But if it has, you were probably had a little more pep in your step and were more willing to work hard and more bought into the cause and all the things.
00:19:29.230 --> 00:19:30.590
Because that's just the way we're wired.
00:19:30.750 --> 00:19:39.630
You know, if we're going to be great leaders, let's tap into the hard wiring and the default way of human nature and the in the and the human condition to lead.
00:19:39.789 --> 00:19:45.230
And this is the greatest way we can do it is by genuinely loving and serving the people that that we are called to lead.
00:19:45.390 --> 00:19:49.150
And I always use the example of the of the upside down org chart, right?
00:19:49.230 --> 00:19:54.190
If you're the top of the org chart, flip it upside down, put yourself at the bottom when it comes to service.
00:19:54.350 --> 00:19:57.710
And then we we lead upwards from there and we serve upwards from there.
00:19:57.870 --> 00:20:05.310
And that way, uh that style of leadership, and that's the only style of leadership, I believe, has profound effects and it's the right way to go about your business.
00:20:05.550 --> 00:20:05.870
Thoughts?
00:20:06.190 --> 00:20:06.670
I love that.
00:20:06.990 --> 00:20:07.710
I love that.
00:20:07.950 --> 00:20:23.630
Um I think care is it's so talked about, and it's so many people throw it out as just a general term, but what is what does the care actually look like?
00:20:23.789 --> 00:20:39.550
Um, and it can look like a ton of things, but when you when you're thinking about it from the perspective of, okay, I'm I'm the leader of this organization, I'm the leader of this meeting, leader of this family unit, and I am trying to influence these people.
00:20:39.630 --> 00:20:46.910
I'm trying to either get them to a certain goal, um, and sometimes like generally you are trying to change their mind on something.
00:20:46.990 --> 00:20:54.430
Um, and that's not manipulation, it's hey, I see what's good for you in the future, um, and I want to help you get there.
00:20:54.670 --> 00:21:09.230
Um I in my I'm trying to wrap my head around this as you and I are talking here, but if care is your standard, um, people will automatically default to your lowest standard.
00:21:09.390 --> 00:21:12.670
I think Jason and I have talked about on this podcast before.
00:21:12.830 --> 00:21:30.670
Um, but if care is your standard, and then there is one single instance of you not caring about something, if it's you walk by the piece of trash, you don't pick it up, it's you show way too much frustration um during a meeting and it's it's not called for and there's not a reason for it.
00:21:30.910 --> 00:21:45.230
If it is, hey, there was an opportunity for you to like pour into this person or they're they were having a really difficult time and you didn't show them care, whatever it is, you can lose all of the instant or all of your influence just like that.
00:21:45.550 --> 00:21:53.630
And it's it it can s it I've seen it happen to people and it's it's almost like was your heart actually ever fully there?
00:21:53.789 --> 00:21:56.430
Were you actually ever fully caring for the person if that happened?
00:21:56.750 --> 00:21:59.150
That's exactly what they think to themselves when you have those bad moments.
00:21:59.310 --> 00:22:00.190
Did he actually care?
00:22:00.350 --> 00:22:00.750
Yep.
00:22:01.150 --> 00:22:01.390
Yep.
00:22:01.630 --> 00:22:04.269
And that's not to say that we can't have F ups.
00:22:04.430 --> 00:22:08.190
That's not to say that that we're all perfect and that that that will never happen.
00:22:08.350 --> 00:22:16.029
Um, but it is to say that it it will grow a question in the mind of your followers whenever that whenever that happens.
00:22:16.269 --> 00:22:20.430
Um Can I pull that thread real quick, real quick before you go to the next thing?
00:22:20.670 --> 00:22:25.550
So let me highlight that because that's a great example you brought up, is we are gonna miss the mark sometimes.
00:22:25.630 --> 00:22:27.710
So if you're listening going Oh, so I got to be perfect?
00:22:27.870 --> 00:22:28.190
No.
00:22:28.350 --> 00:22:37.070
But when you do mess it up and you do fail to show care, because sometimes we don't show care because we're in a hurry, we have something else on our mind, or you know, whatever, things happen.
00:22:37.150 --> 00:22:40.509
But it's when you fail to show care, what do you do about it to make up for it?
00:22:40.670 --> 00:22:46.430
And someone who genuinely doesn't care will never come back around to address it, will never come back around to have that discussion.
00:22:46.590 --> 00:22:50.110
They'll just let the lack of care sit and stand because they actually didn't care.
00:22:50.269 --> 00:22:54.509
So when you do mess it up or you do make somebody feel like you don't care, go rescue it.
00:22:54.670 --> 00:22:55.870
Genuinely rescue it.
00:22:56.029 --> 00:22:57.390
Apologize, own it.
00:22:57.550 --> 00:23:03.710
Tell them you that that what was really going on in your head and that was no excuse, but that's what was happening, and you'll do better next time.
00:23:03.950 --> 00:23:08.670
So a lot of times as a leader, it's not so much whether or not we make the mistake, it's how we handle the mistake once we made it.
00:23:08.910 --> 00:23:09.230
100%.
00:23:09.789 --> 00:23:10.190
100%.
00:23:10.990 --> 00:23:18.190
And then my mind goes to okay, so then how do we actually show care to another human being?
00:23:18.430 --> 00:23:20.990
How can we influence our followers?
00:23:21.150 --> 00:23:24.110
How can we show them that that we truly care about them?
00:23:24.269 --> 00:23:26.750
There's a ton of different ways that you can go about this.
00:23:26.910 --> 00:23:31.150
Um building relationships is to me absolutely paramount.
00:23:31.390 --> 00:23:38.670
Um and there's most people have probably heard the thought process before of I'm gonna learn their favorite sports team.
00:23:38.750 --> 00:23:41.710
They like the Braves, I'm gonna ask them about the Braves sometimes.
00:23:41.789 --> 00:23:42.910
And like that's not bad.
00:23:43.070 --> 00:23:47.070
That is that that is a that is a generally good tactic.
00:23:47.230 --> 00:23:48.430
It's not amazing.
00:23:48.590 --> 00:23:49.630
It's a good tactic.
00:23:49.710 --> 00:23:53.550
I I put it at a a C plus B minus level.
00:23:53.789 --> 00:23:54.590
It's a starting point.
00:23:55.310 --> 00:23:57.789
It is a it is a really, really good starting point.
00:23:58.269 --> 00:24:11.630
Um, when you continue to progress and you want that relationship to grow and you want to build more influence with that person, whenever there is a trial, there's an opportunity for you to show care.
00:24:11.789 --> 00:24:15.150
And I I try to see any sort of trial like that.
00:24:15.310 --> 00:24:22.029
Um so Jason, you may not notice this, but when like I think you and Kelly were sick a week or two ago or a few weeks ago.
00:24:22.269 --> 00:24:22.509
Yeah.
00:24:22.670 --> 00:24:25.150
Whatever it was, like I'm going to jump on that.
00:24:25.310 --> 00:24:27.390
Like, whatever I can do, can I bring you soup?
00:24:27.550 --> 00:24:29.870
Can I can I go to the grocery store?
00:24:29.950 --> 00:24:30.590
What what can I do?
00:24:30.750 --> 00:24:31.789
Can I bring you meds?
00:24:31.950 --> 00:24:33.710
What what can I do to help?
00:24:33.789 --> 00:24:38.910
Um, because I generally want to grow that influence and because I do care about you as a human being.
00:24:39.070 --> 00:24:47.870
Um, those instances are oftentimes our greatest opportunities to build a tremendous amount of care with others.
00:24:48.190 --> 00:24:52.509
Well, and I think too, first and foremost, this this shows you the evil of Isaiah.
00:24:52.670 --> 00:24:56.750
He brings wants to bring soup to Kelly who has a gluten allergy to make her sicker.
00:24:56.910 --> 00:25:00.590
And he didn't say that part, but we all know the real impetus behind it.
00:25:00.750 --> 00:25:02.910
So anyway, yeah, we knew.
00:25:02.990 --> 00:25:04.670
We were aware, we're on to you.
00:25:05.710 --> 00:25:07.230
Anything to keep us out of the building.
00:25:07.470 --> 00:25:07.550
Yeah.
00:25:07.870 --> 00:25:09.950
I thought you would know it was gluten-free or something.
00:25:10.029 --> 00:25:12.590
So no, we don't have gluten-free soup at Chick-fil-A.
00:25:12.750 --> 00:25:20.269
But anyway, um uh you know, uh you said something interesting there that I wanted to elaborate on too.
00:25:20.430 --> 00:25:24.670
You're talking about, okay, well, I want to bring the soup or I want to do the thing, I want to take care of them.
00:25:24.910 --> 00:25:34.110
So a lot of times when we we teach this concept, I can look at people's eyes and and see and read when they're thinking to themselves, how do I learn to care like that?
00:25:34.269 --> 00:25:37.150
Because it is not most people's way of being, like we said earlier.
00:25:37.230 --> 00:25:37.950
It wasn't mine.
00:25:38.190 --> 00:25:40.350
Isaiah mentioned earlier that it wasn't his.
00:25:40.509 --> 00:25:42.670
So I think there's a lot of ways we can evolve this.
00:25:42.830 --> 00:25:58.830
I think you know, getting closer to God is is the best way if we want to go to another way to do it, is let's say that you know people who are sick, and let's keep on that theme, and you have to remind yourself, oh, maybe it'd be a good idea to bring them soup because that's the right thing to do.
00:25:58.990 --> 00:26:01.789
Okay, you're not really doing it because your heart called you to.
00:26:01.870 --> 00:26:04.430
You're doing it because it's a box you wanted to check.
00:26:04.590 --> 00:26:09.390
And that might feel like uh it's it's surface level deep at the most.
00:26:09.550 --> 00:26:14.029
But the reality is that is a way to learn how to be better at caring for people.
00:26:14.190 --> 00:26:19.870
Because what happens is you do bring the soup and it makes you feel good because you realize you help that family, you help that person.
00:26:19.950 --> 00:26:21.630
And oh man, that felt pretty good.
00:26:21.710 --> 00:26:26.190
And the next time an opportunity comes up, if you remind yourself, oh, maybe I should do something nice for them, you do that.
00:26:26.350 --> 00:26:27.550
And that felt pretty good too.
00:26:27.710 --> 00:26:33.070
And if you do that long enough, you know, the science behind it would be back to the neuroplasticity of the rewiring of the brain.
00:26:33.230 --> 00:26:40.910
I think that's one of the scientific ways you could evolve your heart in somebody that cares because I'm a firm believer, and this is biblical as well.
00:26:41.070 --> 00:26:42.590
We are called to serve.
00:26:42.830 --> 00:26:44.190
We are wired to serve.
00:26:44.350 --> 00:26:52.430
And in fact, when I'm coaching somebody who maybe's going through some anxiety issues or depression, I'm not a therapist, I don't treat those things, but we can have discussions around them.
00:26:52.509 --> 00:26:55.550
And there's tactics we can use sometimes to help those things.
00:26:55.710 --> 00:26:59.310
The number one thing I recommend is go serve, especially when someone's feeling depressed.
00:26:59.470 --> 00:27:00.029
Go serve.
00:27:00.190 --> 00:27:01.550
Go serve somebody, right?
00:27:01.710 --> 00:27:06.350
And and because it has a really wild way of making us feel really good.
00:27:06.509 --> 00:27:08.509
Because that's what we're supposed to be and do as humans.
00:27:08.590 --> 00:27:11.550
And if you do that enough, a lot of times it will evolve your heart.
00:27:11.630 --> 00:27:16.110
And as somebody who does that, it's just part of who they are and what and and part of their character.
00:27:16.350 --> 00:27:19.630
Um also elaborating on what Isaiah talked about relationships.
00:27:19.710 --> 00:27:24.430
So one of the things that that that I coach is level one, two, and three relationship building.
00:27:24.590 --> 00:27:26.350
So level one is what he talks about.
00:27:26.430 --> 00:27:27.630
What's your favorite sports team?
00:27:27.710 --> 00:27:28.430
Where do you go to school?
00:27:28.509 --> 00:27:29.630
What do you do for a living?
00:27:29.789 --> 00:27:31.390
You know, how do you feel about the weather today?
00:27:31.470 --> 00:27:32.750
Those are surface level.
00:27:32.910 --> 00:27:35.550
Maybe you can liken it to a first date.
00:27:35.789 --> 00:27:36.110
Right?
00:27:36.190 --> 00:27:41.710
So if I go on a first date, um, I'm not looking to get into their deepest, darkest secrets.
00:27:41.789 --> 00:27:42.590
That's kind of weird.
00:27:42.750 --> 00:27:45.630
We're just gonna talk about surfacey stuff to get to know each other.
00:27:45.870 --> 00:27:48.430
Uh, we tend to do that at work really well.
00:27:48.590 --> 00:27:53.150
Most people do, because it's other the opposite is is weird as well, is we don't speak at all.
00:27:53.390 --> 00:27:56.350
So we tend to have surface relationships at work.
00:27:56.430 --> 00:27:57.470
And there's nothing wrong with that.
00:27:57.550 --> 00:28:00.350
Like we said earlier, it's a starting point, it's a jumping off point.
00:28:00.670 --> 00:28:06.269
But as a leader, you need to have intentionality to pull those relationships a level deeper if you can.
00:28:06.430 --> 00:28:09.870
And level two relationship building might just be hey, what are your goals?
00:28:09.950 --> 00:28:11.150
What are you trying to accomplish?
00:28:11.310 --> 00:28:14.269
Like, what what do you love to do that no one knows about?
00:28:14.430 --> 00:28:18.509
I mean, just kind of things you might talk about on a fourth, fifth, or sixth date.
00:28:18.990 --> 00:28:24.990
Um and then that's where I think most leaders will live.
00:28:25.150 --> 00:28:28.750
That's where most work uh-based relationships will live.
00:28:28.910 --> 00:28:30.670
The it's almost like a bell curve, right?
00:28:30.750 --> 00:28:34.750
You'll have a few that stay surface-y because the person won't allow it to go deeper.
00:28:34.990 --> 00:28:47.789
Then you'll have the bulk of them in the middle of that level two, and then there might be some that evolve into level three, and that's where you get into deepest, darkest secrets, and you really know somebody on a more uh relationally intimate level, not physically intimate level.
00:28:47.950 --> 00:28:50.509
Um, but but uh uh you know then.
00:28:50.990 --> 00:28:52.110
That's first aid stuff right there.
00:28:52.430 --> 00:28:53.150
Absolutely it is.
00:28:53.310 --> 00:29:04.029
So, so but as a leader, we have to have intentionality to move through those levels to get to that with as many people as we can, because that, like I said, is another way to build influence.
00:29:04.190 --> 00:29:17.630
So when we talk about showing care, those relationship building uh methodologies or or or the evolution of that within all your relationships is paramount because I don't know how I can lead somebody if I don't know where they're going.
00:29:17.710 --> 00:29:20.430
And I don't know where they're going when we just talk surface level.
00:29:20.509 --> 00:29:32.670
But I do know where they're going if we get to that level two relationship, and then I can help them on a higher level, which is a great segue into another way we can show care is by investing in people and helping people realize their goals or move towards their goals.
00:29:32.830 --> 00:29:34.830
And that's something I know Isaiah and I coach a lot.
00:29:34.910 --> 00:29:37.070
So, Isaiah, what is what what do you do?
00:29:37.150 --> 00:29:39.789
How what are your ways of helping people accomplish their goals?
00:29:39.870 --> 00:29:45.070
So Mary Smith comes to you and says, Hey, I really want to work at Chick-fil-A Support Center one day.
00:29:45.390 --> 00:29:47.870
What does that what does Isaiah do with that information?
00:29:48.029 --> 00:29:50.830
How do you show care to somebody in that situation?
00:29:51.070 --> 00:29:51.310
Yeah.
00:29:51.470 --> 00:29:55.789
First off, I'm gonna ask really a a ton of questions to to get more context.
00:29:55.870 --> 00:29:58.910
So let's say, yeah, it's Mary, she wants to work at Support Center.
00:29:59.150 --> 00:30:01.630
Um, okay, well, what area do you want to work in?
00:30:01.710 --> 00:30:02.430
Okay, you don't know?
00:30:02.590 --> 00:30:04.830
Okay, well, then let's help you figure out that piece.
00:30:04.990 --> 00:30:09.630
Because I want to make sure that we actually have a target that we're going towards.
00:30:09.789 --> 00:30:12.269
Um, because some people will just throw that out there.
00:30:12.350 --> 00:30:13.789
Um, they don't even know what that means.
00:30:13.950 --> 00:30:19.789
They don't even know where support center is, they don't know um what all that entails, all that good stuff.
00:30:19.870 --> 00:30:23.070
So support center for those listening, that's a great point, Isaiah, by the way.
00:30:23.230 --> 00:30:25.230
The support center is Chick-fil-A's corporate office.
00:30:25.390 --> 00:30:39.870
And it's funny you say that because I went to that, I went down there the other day and the chief marketing officer for Mercedes Benz was speaking to us, and she said that she had never heard the term support center used for a corporate a corporate office, a home office.
00:30:40.269 --> 00:30:44.269
So I that just clicked people may not know what that is, but that's the corporate office of Chick-fil-A.
00:30:44.430 --> 00:30:44.590
Yep.
00:30:44.670 --> 00:30:47.550
It's what Home Depot uses too, and I think it's become more popular.
00:30:47.870 --> 00:30:48.269
Interesting.
00:30:48.509 --> 00:30:49.630
But uh yeah.
00:30:49.870 --> 00:30:58.430
Um but the the general idea is hey, I want to make sure that that you know your target so that we can aim at the at the same thing.
00:30:58.670 --> 00:31:06.670
So okay, now that we have that, um I'm I I need to really figure out what gaps you have.
00:31:07.150 --> 00:31:19.390
Um and if I already have the knowledge of whatever it is, so let's say you're going into something super specific, let's say that she wants to go be an accountant at um at Support Center.
00:31:19.550 --> 00:31:21.870
Okay, well, I can give you some basic accounting skills.
00:31:21.950 --> 00:31:27.710
No, I'm not a certified accountant, I can do everything, um, not my job.
00:31:27.870 --> 00:31:33.950
Um, but what I can do is I can try to learn everything that I can to then assist you.
00:31:34.190 --> 00:31:45.550
Um so if it's even just me saying, hey, this is a really good resource, I I've looked into our research, I think this is an amazing resource for you to look into, even though I may not have to understand all of it.
00:31:45.710 --> 00:31:47.550
But let's say that's something a little bit more general.
00:31:47.630 --> 00:31:52.990
Let's say it's non-accounting, let's say that she wants to go work in um the marketing world.
00:31:53.150 --> 00:31:55.230
Okay, I know some stuff about marketing.
00:31:55.470 --> 00:31:59.150
So I'm going to give you every single thing that I know about marketing.
00:31:59.310 --> 00:32:07.630
And then what I'm going to do on top of that is I'm going to learn more about marketing through books, through podcasts, through um courses, through whatever it is.
00:32:07.789 --> 00:32:13.310
So then I can then give that information to you so you can apply it, go do what you want to in the future.
00:32:13.550 --> 00:32:17.630
Um, so first off, it's understanding what they actually truly want.
00:32:17.710 --> 00:32:22.029
Um, and then two, it's checking do we have the resources to help them get there?
00:32:22.269 --> 00:32:25.470
If we don't, then we need to develop the resources to help them get there.
00:32:25.710 --> 00:32:35.070
Yeah, and I think uh too, and and maybe you alluded to this, but you know, do we have a role within the organization that we could put them in that would help them learn those skills as well?
00:32:35.310 --> 00:32:40.750
But but the whole theme of it is we are it is our obligation to help them accomplish their goals.
00:32:40.910 --> 00:32:44.269
And that is a an incredible way in the workplace to show care.
00:32:44.509 --> 00:32:58.990
And it's wild to me that not enough people feel this way or understand this concept because and I tell the guys at Chick-fil-A this how dare we ask somebody to show up and help us accomplish their goals, but not care one crap about the goals that they want to accomplish.
00:32:59.150 --> 00:32:59.870
It's wrong.
00:33:00.110 --> 00:33:00.590
It's wrong.
00:33:00.670 --> 00:33:01.150
It just is.
00:33:01.310 --> 00:33:01.789
It's wrong.
00:33:02.029 --> 00:33:07.150
And so when relationships work the best is when they're symbiotic, when there is that reciprocity.
00:33:07.310 --> 00:33:14.190
And and we have to evolve and develop those relationships in the workplace because otherwise we don't have a right to ask for their best effort.
00:33:14.350 --> 00:33:17.150
We don't have a right to say, hey, help us accomplish our mission.
00:33:17.310 --> 00:33:20.190
And they can say in their minds, well, what about my personal life mission?
00:33:20.269 --> 00:33:21.230
Oh, we don't care about that.
00:33:21.390 --> 00:33:22.590
How in the world does that work?
00:33:22.750 --> 00:33:24.509
How does how A, how is that okay?
00:33:24.670 --> 00:33:28.350
And B, how do we ever expect to get somebody's best performance?
00:33:28.509 --> 00:33:31.550
How do we expect them to be bought in if we don't care about them?
00:33:31.789 --> 00:33:36.670
So as we round out this episode, you know, if you look at the last episode in this episode, there's a running theme.
00:33:36.830 --> 00:33:46.750
And the theme is, hey, when we create a vision and a mission for the organization, make sure that vision and mission benefits the people as well, not just the organization or the leaders of that organization.
00:33:46.910 --> 00:33:50.910
And when we're building influence, make sure we're extending care and we care about their goals.
00:33:51.150 --> 00:33:52.990
We care about their family lives.
00:33:53.150 --> 00:33:57.870
You know, you know, it that are we allowing them to have time off to tend to their family issues?
00:33:58.029 --> 00:34:02.430
Or are we, you know, trying to drive them into the ground with overworking them?
00:34:02.509 --> 00:34:07.710
Um, are we expecting them to answer the call at 9 30 at night on a Friday when they're trying to have family time?
00:34:07.870 --> 00:34:11.309
You know, it's extending care to people in every way that we can think about.
00:34:11.469 --> 00:34:13.949
And this is why I talk about leadership as a mindset.
00:34:14.029 --> 00:34:15.150
It's a way of thinking.
00:34:15.309 --> 00:34:26.429
And your default way of thinking, if you want to be a great leader, and I get very passionate about this topic, if you want to be a great leader, your default way of thinking better be all the time, how can I make these people's lives better?
00:34:26.590 --> 00:34:26.989
Period.
00:34:27.309 --> 00:34:28.909
And there's a lot of ways to do that.
00:34:29.070 --> 00:34:36.349
And when your mind thinks that way and it's always tuned into that, you will get more creative and the and the avenues in which you can execute that.
00:34:36.510 --> 00:34:43.630
But the minute we make it about us, the minute we make it about our egos, the minute we make it about our goals, that channel in our brain shuts down.
00:34:43.869 --> 00:34:50.190
We are no longer have those channels open to ideas of how we can show care, and we stop showing care.
00:34:50.269 --> 00:34:54.670
The people pick up on that, they stop caring about us and our goals, and the whole thing falls apart.
00:34:54.909 --> 00:35:02.030
So if you want to be somebody who builds influence, create a vision and mission that benefits the organization, of course, but also benefits the people.
00:35:02.269 --> 00:35:11.550
Develop yourself and master yourself in a way that you you you check your ego at the door, you manage your emotions at a high level, and you develop the love and care of other people.
00:35:11.710 --> 00:35:14.590
And what we talked about today was how you execute that love and care.
00:35:14.750 --> 00:35:24.510
And if you can have that be your default way of being and you can have that be what your genuine heart stands for and what you genuinely believe in, you will have no problem building influence.
00:35:24.590 --> 00:35:26.510
You will have no problem building relationships.
00:35:26.670 --> 00:35:31.309
There's still one leg of the stool, though, which we'll talk about in episode three that has to be in place.
00:35:31.470 --> 00:35:33.950
But once we check those boxes, we're a long way down the road.
00:35:34.030 --> 00:35:36.190
So with that being said, Isaiah, close us out.
00:35:36.269 --> 00:35:37.230
Um, any last words?
00:35:37.309 --> 00:35:38.829
I think you know, I'm gonna glaze him.
00:35:38.909 --> 00:35:41.630
He lay every compliment each other, he likes to say it's glaze.
00:35:41.789 --> 00:35:44.110
I call it a compliment, but I'm not young and hip like him.
00:35:44.349 --> 00:35:47.869
So uh but but Isaiah is is is phenomenal at this.
00:35:47.950 --> 00:35:50.269
He is he he he is he knows this already.
00:35:50.349 --> 00:35:59.070
He's one of my favorite people on earth, and and the last two and a half years getting to know him has been one of the one of the greatest joys and and and honors of my life, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
00:35:59.150 --> 00:36:04.670
He's just one of those people that you want in your life, and and I feel that way because he executes this at a high level.
00:36:04.829 --> 00:36:15.389
So with that being said, and that was genuine, not glaze, um when I say all that or or or everything I said the last two or three minutes, what's a great way to close this the this this episode out?
00:36:15.470 --> 00:36:16.990
What's a message you can get people to take home?
00:36:17.230 --> 00:36:21.950
Yeah, I wanna my mind was thinking as you're talking, and uh well, first off, I appreciate all that.
00:36:22.030 --> 00:36:23.230
It's very kind of you.
00:36:23.470 --> 00:36:33.869
But second, uh when it's when there's a difficult conversation that happens, um, because we we talk about care and and during the good times, all of it's relatively easy.
00:36:34.030 --> 00:36:36.510
Some people really, really struggle to see it in the hard times.
00:36:36.670 --> 00:36:44.909
When you have to give that person the difficult feedback, um, when they need to hear it, even though they're in a struggling period, whatever it is.
00:36:45.230 --> 00:36:57.389
Um when it comes across as like your thoughts are generally geared towards how can I help this person do what they need to do to succeed?
00:36:57.630 --> 00:37:00.030
It's not, hey, how can I help the business succeed?
00:37:00.110 --> 00:37:06.829
They're missing the mark, or hey, how can I make my job easier by them actually doing their job?
00:37:06.990 --> 00:37:10.349
Um, how can I best serve me?
00:37:10.510 --> 00:37:12.349
No, it is literally all about them.
00:37:12.430 --> 00:37:13.630
It is all about them.
00:37:13.869 --> 00:37:28.909
So when your mindset shifts to I care about this person across from me so incredibly much that I'm going to speak a different way, that I'm going to tap into something different in my mind that is just genuine love and care for them.
00:37:28.990 --> 00:37:33.070
Um, it changes the entire dynamic of the conversation.
00:37:33.230 --> 00:37:35.630
Um, and I think that that person truly feels it.
00:37:35.710 --> 00:37:37.389
You you alluded to that earlier.
00:37:37.470 --> 00:37:41.470
Um, but I've had a few difficult conversations within the past couple years.
00:37:41.710 --> 00:37:50.110
And I've had, I think it's three total, people that have come back up to me that have said, thank you so much, or something along those lines.
00:37:50.269 --> 00:38:02.829
And like you should it's very rare that that happens because most times people will be upset even if they, even if they don't say, even if they don't show it, they still have a thought in the back of their mind.
00:38:02.990 --> 00:38:07.309
Um, but down the road, they're gonna be like, damn, like I appreciate that.
00:38:07.389 --> 00:38:13.070
That's the that's the easy teacher versus the teacher that was on your ass the whole time back in the day.
00:38:13.230 --> 00:38:28.110
Um and I I just I want to give that word too, um, because I think some people think of care as all this frou fru stuff, and it's like it it is genuinely loving and caring for the person, but you can do that with tough love as well.
00:38:28.349 --> 00:38:29.710
Yeah, I'm so glad you you said that.
00:38:29.869 --> 00:38:35.070
That was actually something that we should have touched on earlier because showing care is not all roses and rainbows.
00:38:35.150 --> 00:38:36.990
It's it's saying the hard thing too.
00:38:37.150 --> 00:38:41.869
And it's it's it's doing the kind thing that we talk about, not the nice thing.
00:38:42.030 --> 00:38:44.909
It's allowing yourself as a leader to be uncomfortable.
00:38:45.070 --> 00:38:55.550
Um, I made a video the other day talking about you know what separates good leaders or or average leaders from great leaders is their tolerance for discomfort and their tolerance for tough conversations and tough feedback.
00:38:55.789 --> 00:39:01.309
And when those tough uh pieces of tough feedback are given out of love and care, they're they're incredibly valuable.
00:39:01.389 --> 00:39:07.470
So yeah, I'm glad you closed it with that because that's that's a very important point to make that care can be ugly sometimes too.
00:39:07.550 --> 00:39:10.750
And if you don't believe that, if you have kids, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
00:39:10.909 --> 00:39:15.869
Um it can be really tough, um, but at the end of the day, you got to tell people what they need to hear.
00:39:16.030 --> 00:39:17.230
So great way to close it.
00:39:17.309 --> 00:39:17.789
I appreciate it.
00:39:17.869 --> 00:39:18.909
Thanks everyone for listening.
00:39:19.070 --> 00:39:21.869
And again, this is part two of a three-part episode.
00:39:22.110 --> 00:39:24.990
And next week we will come back and touch on the four C's.
00:39:25.150 --> 00:39:31.950
We were gonna do it today, but we flipped it, and we'll come back and talk about the four C's, and and that'll close out the conversation on influence.
00:39:32.110 --> 00:39:41.389
And once you combine all three of these episodes and you can make this your way of leading, I promise you you will see incredible transformations in every area of your life.
00:39:41.470 --> 00:39:42.670
So thanks again for listening.
00:39:42.750 --> 00:39:43.630
We'll wrap it up there.
00:39:43.789 --> 00:39:50.990
If you guys are liking the podcast, you like our message, you like what we're doing, please let us know that and and please give us a five star rating.
00:39:51.150 --> 00:39:55.470
If you don't think we deserve that or you think there's things we could be doing better, please reach out and tell us that as well.
00:39:55.630 --> 00:40:03.950
That is incredibly valuable for us to know because we're trying to we're we're newer to this, so we're trying to be the best we can at it and make sure we're delivering the message you guys want to hear.
00:40:04.110 --> 00:40:05.230
So uh do that.
00:40:05.309 --> 00:40:06.590
That would be greatly appreciated.
00:40:06.670 --> 00:40:08.590
And until next week, we will see you then.
00:40:08.829 --> 00:40:09.550
Adios.
