Training vs. Trying: Why Willpower Isn't Enough

Why do so many of us walk away from a great sermon or podcast fired up to change... only to fall back into old patterns a week later? In this episode, we explore the critical difference between trying and training—and why most spiritual growth advice sets people up to fail. This conversation continues our monthly conversation between Dr. Carol, Avery Montgomery, and Zion Montgomery as we draw on insights from the ancient practice of a "Rule of Life," and unpack what it actually looks like to build sustainable, daily habits that reshape what we love, not just what we know.

What You'll Learn:

Why "trying harder" doesn't work. Trying is often isolated, outcome-focused, and disconnected from daily practice—which is why it leads to discouragement instead of lasting change.

The Spectator Trap. Constantly consuming sermons, books, and podcasts can feel like growth, but without active engagement, it just makes us better-informed spectators of our own lives.

What training actually requires. Unlike trying, training is a process: daily engagement, repetition, and drills that compound over time.

Effort vs. earning. God isn't opposed to effort—He's opposed to earning. Training is effort offered in response to grace, not a transaction to secure it.

The trellis metaphor. The word "rule" (from the Latin regula) means trellis—a structure that supports growth and protects against disease, not a rigid cage that restricts it.

Points of return, not boxes to check. A healthy rule of life centers on rhythms—Sabbath, prayer, community—not a finish line to cross.

How to start your own audit. Practical first steps for evaluating your emotional, physical, and relational life to find the gap between who you are and who you want to become.

Keystone habits. How one small, well-placed habit (a prayer rhythm, a no-phone rule) can trigger transformation across every other area of life.

Real-life examples. Weekly couple's meetings, family dinner rhythms, intentional rest and "interstitial time," and the balance of solitude and community.

For more: Follow @averymont and @ztmont on Instagram. Visit Zion's website Therapy with Zion for more information about Couples and Family counseling.

Check out Zion Montgomery's Technological Rule of Life for Couples

More from Dr. Carol Ministries:

In-Person Intensive Weekend - Experience true healing and wholeness as you unpack your personal story around intimacy and relationships in a safe, caring, Christ-filled environment.

Individual Coaching with Dr. Carol provides a one-on-one format to help you navigate your personal journey through practical encouragement and scriptural- based perspective.

Dr. Carol loves to hear from you! You can send her a confidential message here.