Married At First Sight: Couple breakdowns and D-Day Predictions

Dr. Ruth: Hello, friends, and welcome back to the Pretty Passionate podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Ruth, and I'm happy to be joining you again. so much to discuss that we actually have to do some shorter episodes to cover everything. in the world of reality TV, some exciting stuff that I've been enjoying, particularly Married at First Sight. I've made some commentary on my TikTok page and Instagram page if you follow about about the season so far and particularly about Shawn and Nick, but I haven't really touched on them here in the podcast because I was really so absorbed with House of the Dragon. But now that that show has ended and it's opened up more space in my mind to discuss, I got caught up on the actual episodes because I fell behind on those. And now the finale is airing later this week. And I wanted to share my thoughts with you before we find out who's gonna stay with who and what's gonna happen to these couples. I want to have them on wax on record. I just dated myself by saying on wax. Okay. other reality TV interesting stuff. I started watching and I'm getting caught up on the Real Housewives. Ultimate Girls Trip, Roaring Twenties is what I believe it was called. Yeah, the Roaring Twenty. And this season of Ultimate Girls Trip is taking place with a group of OG housewives from all of the franchises, actually. one from each. You may not agree with all the choices. they started in the OC, where of course the entire Real Housewives franchise began and they have traveled to Beverly Hills, and from Beverly Hills are going to Atlanta. From Atlanta, I believe they are traveling to New York City, and then from New York City, they're gonna end at Bluestone Manor, which is Dorinda Medley's vacation home. And so that should be pretty iconic. As someone who pops in and out of certain franchises and doesn't watch every single episode of every single franchise. I will definitely say that the Ultimate Girls trips are a treat for me because it lets me see some of our old faves who have been retired or fired catch up with them. And then for the people who are still currently in season on shows that I might be watching, it lets you see them in a very different light. Like these women are so incredibly different when they get together with women who are not in their city. I think Part of it might be something to do with the constant rehashing of old conflict. after your reunion, after you hash things out, then there's still like a Twitter storm that's gonna happen and people are gonna do a lot of keyboard thugging in between the reunion episode and whenever cameras get picked up for the following season. So there's always this perpetual feeding of old conflict. And I think that most of the audience can agree that after the reunion, we would like stuff to kind of just die and then start. Not necessarily afresh for the next season, but just not immediately picking up old conflicts. And Andy Cohen actually made a really good point of like trying to drive this home at the end of the Atlanta Housewives reunion that I just saw. And he kind of said, like, okay, ladies, we are ending on a relatively peaceful note to move forward, at least a resolution to move forward. Because that's the game. That's the name of the game on this show. is you know, being unafraid to engage in conflict, speak your mind, speak your truth. Don't be a confessional gangster. Don't be a Twitter gangster. And then bring it all to a head at the reunion after all the truths are revealed and the confessionals are seen and everybody's able to come with their receipts and their arguments. Hash it out at the reunion and then kind of leave it there. Not that you are not like, okay, now I see her and she's not someone I can trust, but more like, we're not going to talk about these exact same conflicts next season. So, anyway, what I like about Ultimate Girls Trip is that those ladies aren't like coming from one girl's trip to the next with like preexisting. conflict usually and they're coming with a much more open and fun mind. And the whole premise of the trip is fun. So I feel like they do fun forward. So for me, Ultimate Girls Trip reminds me of the early aughts housewives seasons, like those early Atlanta seasons, those early New York seasons when the women were not necessarily so obsessed with glam image and bloggers and online receipts. Yeah. So Anyway, long-winded way to mean for me to say I will be covering Ultimate Girls Trip. I'm trying to arrange it so that my sisters can actually join me because they're actually watching those too And that will make for a really fun discussion. But let's get into because this is my very first season watching Married at First Sight. I always thought it was an insane premise for a reality show, but for some reason they never got me. To watch a season. There are a couple of seasons I've heard about in the past where wild stuff was happening, but the initial buzz for this season was so loud that it broke through even my House of the Dragon hypnosis and made me actually want to watch. So I'm all caught up through the last episode. And we've got now, let me count. five couples, vi I was gonna say viable couples, but five couples going to decision day. along the way, we lost Courtney and Nick. And in this very last episode, we lost Caitlin and Devin. I think both of those were very appropriate choices for couples who really should not have bothered to go all the way to decision day because their incompatibility was so painfully obvious. We'll get more into them later The way I'm going to structure this episode is to discuss each couple, just couple by couple, and what I like about them, what I think is great about them, or whatever my thoughts are that have been brewing all season and whether or not I think they are going to decide to stay together or break up. Okay. we can start with Adam and Marissa. I can't pronounce all of their last names, so I kinda just decided we're just gonna stick to first names. Okay. So Adam's thirty one, Marissa is thirty at the time of filming. Adam is like this, he's a self-described go-getter, you know? He's like this hard-hitting guy. Not sure what he does for a living, but he like lives on the water. and this is all in like Seattle. And I guess there are a couple of cast members who live in Portland because the two cities are so close. They probably pulled from both to draw their cast. And he just loves his lifestyle. Adam gives, I wanna add a woman and stir into this perfect life that I've built, right? And the interesting thing about him, I didn't I don't know how common this is for a Seattle, but he's got a very interesting way of speaking that is very surfer surfer dude coded. And I don't know if that's the twenty twenty-six version of how you say that, He has a very surprising Southern California guy who spends a lot of time on the beach vibe and his manner of speaking that surprises me for Seattle. And I don't remember where he's originally from. But even if you're originally from Southern California and grew up on the beach and, you know, catching waves, dude, like he just has a way of speaking. Okay, he doesn't quite sound like a ninja turtle, but it's just a very specific way of speaking that I just would not have placed in Seattle. Someone correct me if you're from Seattle and you know that people talk like that all the time. You know, they say like vibes and bro and like, he's cooked I mean, I know some of that is Gen Z slang as well, but I don't know, there's something about it that's weird. Anyway, I digress. He is paired with Marissa, who I would describe as well, she's lovely, she's attractive. A little mousy. And for most of the season, she's been very hesitant to express herself and assert herself. But at some point after their marriage and during their couple's counseling sessions, initially they were wildly attracted to each other. You could tell there was a lot of physical chemistry. You could tell that they were very comfortable taking their relationship to the next level. I have no doubt that they've consummated their marriage. And then we get to the meat and potatoes of it, which is what is their actual compatibility once you strip all the attraction away. And the counselors, the experts were able to peel away some of that and help them realize. But I feel like somewhere in the last two to three episodes, Marissa kind of awakened herself, realizing that this guy might not be it for me. He's super obsessed with like maxing himself out and pushing himself to his limits and achieving his ultimate best and always doing the most, you know, he's got a jet ski. He's got his house on the water. And yeah, he just wants to add a woman in there and stir to pickleball. I was like, what's his other big thing? Pickleball is his other main interest that is, it's beyond interest into an obsession level where he wants to play pickleball multiple times a week. And he wants to play it for multiple hours in a session. They even went and played pickleball against another couple. And it was embarrassing. He became such a court ball hog, number one, because Marissa's not that good. And it was just like crazy embarrassing. And the one thing that kept coming up for them is him saying, like, I need a partner who can keep up with me physically. Mind you, Marissa is physically stunning. Like she looks like someone who doesn't sit on the couch eating potato chips. And by the way, if she does, I need to know your secret, sis. Cause why do you look so good in a bikini? You know, she looks like someone who takes care of herself, goes to the gym, maybe she does some kind of Yoga Pilates type of exercise keeps up with herself and keeps up with her appearance, but she's just not a hard-charging sports girl. And he keeps making a point of bringing up an ex-girlfriend of his that he's like, Man, I had that with this girl, and it was perfect and it was great. And I just really want to have that with my wife. And I have caught myself screaming multiple times at the television. Then why didn't you marry that girl? Adam says he has wanted to be. Married, coupled off since he was 18. To each their own. Would I say there may be some psychology behind that that's worth exploring? Yeah. But I guess it depends where you grew up, how you grew up, who you grew up around, and how young everyone was around you when they were getting married. But it doesn't sound like he grew up on like some fundamentalist compound. So 18 is an early age for a young man to decide he wants to lock it down. So something about that to me conveys more of he doesn't want to participate in dating rituals of the time and kind of just be done with it and find his life partner. And maybe that speaks to a personality thing, background, family, religion. But I also think it may be indicative of just. Some sort of deep-seated insecurity that he carries. And I feel there's to a limited extent a masking of some of that insecurity with some of his hard charging Adam, let's go energy that he's always giving. He's just like a little exhausting. And he seems like a nice guy. That's the other thing. He's he's not unlikable. He's just somebody that gives you pause when you see him even interacting with Marissa. He's jokes forward. Funny like Hawaiian shirts. He's always trying to be the center of attention and conversation. And even on their wedding day, he played like three pieces of classical piano. And I thought the first piece, I thought, beautiful. my gosh, bravo. Like that's wonderful. That he is an extremely talented pianist. But then it went on and on. And it just gives it's all about me. And Pairing him with someone like Marissa who has trouble speaking her mind, who has been in relationships where she's been dominated, I I think that's a dangerous pairing. Now, let's land the plane with these two? I think if Marissa continues to assert herself, maybe there's a chance. but she would have to be very careful to constantly push back on him and his desires, shaping their entire relationship trajectory. Not only that, she needs to shut him down about this ex. If she was so great, you would be with her boo-boo. You're not. There's a reason that you were still single entering into this experiment and got paired with me. Right? So the matchmakers obviously saw some compatibility there. They have obvious chemistry. I am not throwing the towel in on them. I just need Adam to like re-enter Earth's atmosphere when it comes to imposing his goals on other people. And what's funny about Adam, last note, is that I looked up his. Potential star sign. Because I was like, there's something about him that just rings Capricorn, you know, just that never-ending achievement thing that we, as a Capricorn, I can reluctantly admit to being a part of that group of people. We just like to constantly climb the mountain. And I feel like that that is part of your personality. But in Adam's case, that baseline existing personality trait somehow got turned into something a little bit more pathological, maybe because of life experiences or something that gave him a little bit of an insecurity. I feel like it puts him in a position where he is at a risk of losing this wonderful girl that he has with him, just so he can continue to like max out, bro. You know? Yeah. So that was a terrible impression. but you get the point. And that's Adam and Marissa, in case you weren't familiar. I think they're so cute. Aside from his horrific taste and fashion. And you know, her overall, you can even see in this photo her demure, sort of smaller energy around him and how he's domineering the conversation, even in this photo. I think they're a cute couple. I remain optimistic that these two can get it together, She has to stand her ground. She has to demand that her voice and her desires be heard and kind of push back on him. I will say this: if she were my sister, I would not want it for her. Because I would say you want someone who's a little more naturally compatible with you, but maybe she's in love with him. So we'll see. Okay, on to the next couple, Felipe and Tori. Tori, Tori, Tori. I don't have to waste a lot of time on this one. So Felipe and Tori. If you're unfamiliar with Felipe, he is this mustachioed gentleman over here on the right. And Tori is a gorgeous woman. I think she's of Latina background. I'm I'm pretty sure. And he is of Brazilian heritage. So initially there's so much cultural and familial compatibility. It just works for these two. And they have instant chemistry, instant attraction, so many shared values. The main red flag I saw in the beginning, he's an atheist, she's a Christian, but they seem to even get past that with a mutual understanding. And then somehow, Felipe, I don't know if we want to call it self-sabotage. Felipe decides along the way. That he's not sure he wants to stop sleeping with other women. He just says it nakedly at a table full of their friends, and they're just, he's like, I just don't know that that's what I want right now. Which is a valid concern and a valid point. If, sir, you had not entered an experiment called married at first sight. You see the problem here, Felipe? You see the problem, bro? Like, what are we doing? What do you mean you want to sleep with women? You didn't say you wanted to. Get into polyamory at first sight. He said married. Monogamy. I don't know. It just bugs me that that came at the 11th hour and it points to a deeper tendency that Felipe might have of self-sabotage. I'm just gonna leave that there. The other thing about Felipe that annoys me is he definitely seems like a mama's boy, and his mom is lovely. So I can see how Tori is kind of taken in by her and kind of like, I love the mom, not sure if I love the son, you know? And Tori is a take charge, tell it like it is, almost stoic to the point of conveying no emotion, kind of girl. And I think with her, people have mistaken her strength and her stoicism for indifference. I think that Tori's one of those people who probably gets her demeanor mistaken for indifference a lot. But she's very genuine and sincere, it seems, in her desire to have a good relationship with him. When he reveals his desire to keep sleeping with other women, though, she's struggling to get past that. And then his other flaws start to get on her damn nerves, you know? Like now you got this one thing, and now you're noticing other issues with him. The mama's boy thing, the fact that. He just doesn't seem to be able to do a lot on his own without his family's support. He's a restaurant manager. He flaunts this so hard in the beginning. Turns out the restaurant belongs to his family. Now, is there anything wrong with that? No, I believe in competent nepotism to an extent, as long as the person you're putting in the position is competent and able to do the work and others aren't going to suffer beneath them. I have no problems with nepotism and I'm working toward building a legacy of nepotism for my own children that I did not have to help me achieve my career goals. I love it. Do I think that it speaks to though for Felipe a possible problem as a married man provider and leader of a family? Yeah. 'Cause he really hasn't had to strike out on his own and really prove himself. He's got his mom and his sister decorating his entire apartment. He works for his family restaurant. And She doesn't feel like she can count on him. And at first I thought she was kind of exaggerating. But then on their way to the couples trip that the couples retreat, poor Tori's car breaks down. And Felipe's only addition to the whole situation was to kind of pat her leg and stroke her arm and just, be company while she gets on the phone, calls the tow truck driver. And I know, not everybody's handy and able to fix a car. I would definitely not expect most men in this day and age to be able to, pop the hood and see what's wrong with the car. But there was something disconcerting that I can't put a finger on about how. Unbothered he was that they were on the side of the road, broken down. And not really interested in taking charge in this scenario, like I guess some women, including myself, might expect a man to do. Looking on the dash, reading warning signals, pulling out the manual. These are all things my husband would do. he might tell me go ahead and call emergency roadside assistance. But, you know, he would start to be trying to figure out what's wrong with the car himself and not just sitting there patting my leg, So I started to see what Tori's point was. But here's where he really effed up. On the couple's retreat, he allowed himself to be the but of so many jokes about how Felipe is the most likely to basically constantly screw up his relationship. I think they just played this game where they were like, who's most likely to? and they would point to the person. And everybody kept pointing to Felipe when it came to things about fidelity, like just being a good partner overall. And you could see Tori collapsing under the pressure of that game and that she was not having a good time. And she winds up in tears because who wants to be married literally to the class clown? Right? Felipe took it on the chin, but it was an element to it that was a little too performative, a little bit too willing to be the butt of everyone's jokes. Once again, I did take a peek at the star signs here because I I saw some behaviors that were feeling familiar, hitting close to home, and discovered that Tori is, I believe, a Capricorn as well. And I was like, gosh. For a female Capricorn being embarrassed by your partner. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. She was ready to end it right then and there. He Kinda made steps to beg his way into getting another chance and she gave it to him very graciously. You could see she so badly wants it to work, but he needs to man up and step up and show that he's not just some hapless mama's boy who's also willing to constantly be the butt of the jokes for everyone because one thing a Capricorn woman is not gonna want is a clown for a husband, someone that is always being the butt of the jokes, embarrasses her or makes her look like an idiot for even being there. Mm-mm. He seemed to want to get his act together and like take it seriously when people say that you they think you're the most likely to be a crap partner. Like, hello. What do you think that makes her feel? but yeah, I don't see the future being super bright for these two, just by nature of who Tori is and how she carries herself. She's so poised and seemingly looking to have a real. partner in life to take worry off of her. And it sounds like she's been that person for her whole family, supporting everyone. So I think she is really looking to have someone take care of her. something telling me it's just like Felipe is not it. the last episode ends with them having arrived at decision day. It's a very confusing series of events. It looks like, again, Tori's giving him another chance. They are both arriving to decision day, I'm walking in thinking Tori's a definite no, but no matter what, she's seen enough and she's gonna walk away. But then the conversation between them starts to point towards something else. Like Felipe's about to be a no. Excuse me? Listen, the counselors told him, and I don't know what's got him living in Dulululand. Maybe it's his mother, and maybe that needs to be a mental note for me not to like love your son so hard that he doesn't see clearly. when he has something before him of value. he's so focused on sleeping with other women that I guess he really thinks he can do better than Tori in a wife. And I'm not just talking about looks because maybe her looks don't appeal to everyone, but they seemed to appeal well enough to him. And she puts enough care in her appearance that you know this isn't something that's gonna fall apart quickly, She's someone who cares how she looks, how she presents herself. She's articulate, she's kind, she seems loving. gainfully employed and into him. That's a very critical thing. I think he's underestimating her value. And if he is about to dump her, then baby, my only message to Tori is good riddance to the Super Mario brother you were about to marry. Cause that dude and his mustache have been irking me all season. He looks like he just hopped out of a sewer and is on his way to complete a mission with some mushrooms. I simply cannot with him. I don't like to focus on looks as the only indicator of compatibility, but I just feel like he should be so lucky. And if he dumps her, good riddance to bad rubbish. And she will literally, even the counselors told her she will walk out of this experiment and into the arms of a wonderful, caring man who has been looking for someone as solid, kind, capable, Who wants to be a mother and as beautiful as Okay. Let me stop, you know, sweating her. But I'm just saying, you know, women like her don't just like come along every five seconds. I'll give my final diagnosis at the end of who's gonna say yes and who's gonna say no. Moving on to Cameron and Michelle. I'm gonna actually be brief with them because there's not a lot to say, because everyone with eyeballs can see that these two are extremely compatible, extremely compatible, and quite likely to succeed as a couple in the future. They had a small stumbling block about location, and Cameron was very candid about some insecurities that he has and maybe some self-sabotage tendencies that he has. And a little bit of thinking a little too much into the future about the what-ifs and not enough in this moment I'm having the time in my life with a woman that I'm falling in love with. and once the counselors I think were able to correct that for him, he's been able to plug into her positivity a lot more, stop being a pessimist and enjoy his time with her. And it seems like they are legit falling in love. And I said to myself, is this not the second Cameron on a dating show that is showing out and turning out to be ideally matchable with somebody really easily? Does that say something about Camerons of the world? Camerons of the world, are they really just marriage material? I don't know. Maybe you have dated a horrible Cameron. Please share if that's the case on YouTube. You can leave comments. Okay. but for these two. They're so compatible as to be slightly boring, not gonna lie. I love them as a couple. I think they're so sweet. And also sometimes they're a little boring to watch. So thankfully, we have the other hot messes to keep us entertained. Do I think Cameron and Michelle are going to say yes? Yes. I'm not even waiting to the end to share that I think they are going to say yes on decision day. And in fact, if they don't say yes, I'm gonna be annoyed. I'm gonna be annoyed with all those boring dinners I sat through. If they actually come up with a reason that they have yet to really present before us as a concrete reason to split, they bring that out in this ninth inning on D-Day. I'm gonna be actually annoyed. So they better say yes, is my personal feeling on the situation. Families get along. I just can't think of a single reason why these two shouldn't end up together. They better not piss me off. The only thing negative I will say about them as a couple, in my humble opinion, is that they are so perfectly compatible and they are doing so well and they are getting all the little A plus grades that I think they're a little bit too judgmental about the other couples, you know, who are struggling a bit and kind of coming into those couples dinners with like their noses in the air a little bit about how much better than the other couples are doing and kind of rolling their eyes at couples who maybe were previously incompatible that are working towards something. Now, some of those couples deserved an eye roll, like Courtney and Nick, which we'll talk about briefly, the two that definitely didn't make it past this most recent episode. But yeah, I just I wanted Michelle to like Chill, chill, chill. pump the brakes a little bit on your high and mighty act here as like a lady who's been married 10 years. you're still in the experiment here. You haven't both said yes, unless there's conversations between them that we're not privy to. I hope that she's not regretting how high and mighty they came across on D Day. Okay. But also wish them the absolute best and hope they get married and make beautiful, tall. Gorgeous dimple children together. Okay. On to a couple that has been living rent-free in my head since this season started. Mecca and Belle Jolie. Both 28 years old, both artistic types who seem to really enjoy expressing themselves through fashion. Belle Jolie is a singer-songwriter. Mecca is a sanitation worker. They made that sound very unglamorous. His family owns a porter potty management company. So his family is contracted in the state to go around all these various commercial properties and empty their porta-potties and clean them. Obviously, disgusting, unglamorous work. I'm sure at times he's got stories about what he's found in porta-potties that I never want to hear. But I think sanitation worker. Is slightly different from I work for my family that owns this very lucrative, successful sanitation business, and I am poised to become the heir of this sanitation. Empire. they're positioning him to take over the company. And I think that's a beautiful future for the both of them. that Belle Jolie would probably be able to help him and have flexible hours to continue to pursue her artistic goals. When they get dressed, they both have a very flamboyant and expressive style of fashion presentation that I think makes them compatible. Their age, very cute people, when I when they were paired up, he seemed interested in her. One thing that was a red flag for me at the wedding was his dad. His dad was such a clown that it concerned me that I was like, gosh, he was mostly raised by this guy. He has a mother wound, and this guy raised him. Like, I didn't love it. His dad said some inappropriate things. You could tell his dad is always like clowning and mugging for the cameras. So didn't love that, but I was like, Less of him, more of Mecca, just with Belle. Let's see what happens. I had a lot of hopes. I did. Especially because Belle seemed really into him. Despite him having jewels on his teeth and black fingernails, which is not something I feel like she specified she was really into, but she's an artist. So I figured, okay, still well paired because she is open to his fashion and stylistic expression. Still attracted to him. Great chemistry on their little honeymoon and everything. But I feel like Mecca made it very clear early on that he's aware that Bellejolie is more into him than he is into her. Hmm. Strange thing to tell someone off the bat before you've even made it back to Seattle. And she's kind of given him the green light. Like, if you are interested in intimacy, here we go. I'm ready. And his foot. Has remained on the break, supposedly out of respect, but there's something else giving here. Cue the last episode. Okay, some stuff boiled over. We learned number one that this man has called this beautiful child of God not necessarily his type. So Adam, which is why I like Adam. Adam calls him out justifiably because Think all the guys are looking at Mecca like you're nuts, like or something is missing here. If you're telling us that the one issue that you have with Belle Jolie is that she's just not your cup of tea, that you're not that physically attracted to her. I think all the guys are looking with the two eyes that are working in their face, and they're like, That's a very attractive woman. You guys seem to have a lot of chemistry. You guys seem to go together, you're the same age. Moreover, Belle Jolie is down for Mecca. Whenever the group or anyone is even coming for him, she's Always got his back. The counselors were quick to point that out. Like Mecca, they don't find that everywhere. For a while, I thought Mecca's self-sabotaging because he has that huge mother wound. He's scared to be loved the way that Belle Jolie can love him. I gave him a pass, or at least a partial pass, you know? And I thought that's gotta be it. He's just gotta be so scared to receive her love that she's giving him so freely, and he doesn't understand it. Wrong. I was very wrong. Okay. Adam hits the nail on the head. They're in the kitchen at the couples retreat, chatting about attraction and they're puzzled, trying to get down to the nuts and bolts of why Mecca is not so attracted to his wife. And Adam goes, What is it? Are you just are you into like white girls? Cause let me tell you something about Capricorns. Adam, Adam, Adam. I feel like I could be friends with Adam. I'm not gonna lie. Like I said, his language can sometimes be a little annoying, but I feel like we could be friends. I don't know. Because he picked up on something. I had squished this way down in a feelings box that I locked away. That at one point Mecca pulls Caitlin aside and he's having a conversation with her. And I thought, wow, that seems like something that's not happened for the first time. Hmm. They seem really, you know, intimately well acquainted enough to have a little sidekiki, chit chatting with each other. And a light bulb went off. And I was like, Adam isn't, Adam isn't just making an observation out of the blue. He's making an out loud statement for what he has observed probably over the weeks of interacting with Mecca and seeing him around the room and witnessing his level of comfort and ease, chit chatting with. The likes of Caitlin or Michelle. There was even a game they played at some point in the retreat of like, who would you take a hall pass with? And interestingly enough, Mecca is citing Michelle and Caitlin. Meanwhile, Bellejolie did not name anybody. She's content where she is. So Adam was a hundred percent right. Hit the nail on the head. That is it. And Mecca is too, I don't know, I guess smart, conscious of his exposure here, maybe intelligently does not want to be that guy on TV saying he's not into black women, that might be smart. But I wonder why he didn't tell the matchmakers up front his preference, right? Everybody's got preferences. And I don't know about, you know, I can't speak for all black women. We're not a monolith, but man, there's nothing I care about less than who a black man wants to date as long as it's not my man. As long as my man is interested in what I have to offer, I don't care what all the other men in the world are doing and who they're dating. And I don't see all the women in the world as some kind of competition. So maybe that's just always been my mindset that there's plenty to go around for everybody. There's a lid for every pot, as my father would always say. So that's never been something particularly threatening and upsetting, except When said black man expresses his dating preference in the context of putting black women down in general, like making statements that disparage black women as a whole as his reason for the attraction. You don't have to explain your attraction. You don't have to dig back to, you know, your first grade encounter that this like all of a sudden just took the lid off of Pandora's box and all of a sudden all you wanted was white girls. We don't need that. Attraction is. Such a chemical and just like historical, experiential thing. It doesn't need to be explained. But I am curious as to why Mecca did not tell his matchmakers about these preferences. He's now speaking out loud. So he never touches the white girl bomb. Okay, smart. He does, however, say that he is more attracted to curvier women. I'm like, curvier women? That's interesting. Tell me more. Again, why did you not express this preference to your matchmaker, Paul? Then they ask him to elaborate. He says curvy like fuller busted, he likes bustier women. Adam, again, I feel like he's kind of advocating for Belle in a way. Because he's just like, well, have you talked to her about that? And maybe she's, into implants. Now I know you would normally get an ick, but understand, understand something. I don't think Adam meant any harm. I think he probably. was just curious as to whether or not Mecca's ever actually brought this up. And I will also say in Adam's defense, I don't know the man, so I may regret defending him. a lot of naturally small breasted women, as I know as a plastic surgeon, are slightly interested in breast enhancement. That is not a man wanting it is never a reason for a woman to get a breast augmentation. But I do kind of see Adam's perspective or think his perspective might be, hey, maybe she's always wanted bigger breasts too. And if you like bigger breasts and you guys talk about it, is there a harm in that? I'm hoping that's where Adam was coming from. That's how I took it. But no, Mecca says no, I'm smart enough to never bring that up. I agree he probably should never bring it up, but if she were to express some interest in implants or some kind of enhancement, maybe you can support her. Kind of thing. I think that's as far as a man can go with it and not tread into gross territory. So, but yeah, I remain perplexed, but pretty sure that the issue is that Mecca does not immediately find himself attracted to BelleJolie because he's into white girls. He further gives fuel to this. Okay, so not only the hall pass, the two he names, okay, for his hall pass, then. After a little bit of a contentious dinner where Belle Jolie had found out about the breast comment and was kind of pissed off and made some statements putting her foot down about like she's not going to continue to just, you know, tolerate someone acting like they're just barely tolerating her. Mecca responds to that by taking Caitlin outside to have a private conversation. Hmm? Excuse me? Shouldn't you be talking to your wife about what she was just expressing? Then later on in the evening, they show footage that pissed Devin off, and I understand why. That Mecca is flirting with Caitlin on the couch, flirting with Caitlin and Michelle. It was really inappropriate behavior, considering that you're still not solid with your partner, right? And that Caitlin and her husband are not totally solid either, that they're having a major disconnect. On so many levels, which we'll get into. So I thought that was strange. And yeah, my jury is not out. My opinion very strongly rests in BelleJoiie wake the F up and go pack up your tiny tatas, and find a man who likes small breasts. That's it. There's no other solution I can propose to you. I don't think that breast implants are gonna fix the issue that Mecca has with Belle Jolie. And she deserves a man who looks at her and says, What a beautiful, caring, loving woman. Smart, funny. She's a lot of fun. She's talented. She cares about me, et cetera. She needs a man who's gonna value all that. And frankly, Mecca has not shown in all of this that he is into her, that he's mature enough to receive all that she has to offer. And yeah, so I think get out of there, girl. I would be. Yeah, we'll see. My my my feeling is that Mecca doesn't want her, but he's also not man enough to just say it out loud and walk away. So he's just gonna continue to hurt her and the insecurities that he has from his mother wound. It's almost like he needs to have a woman put in her place, put down to be with them and feel safe with them. And that may be something he inherited from his father. Moving on, Shawn and Nikki. Mm mm mmm. So much to say about Shawn and Nicky. I'm afraid that I could do a whole episode about Shawn and Nikki alone, but we're gonna we're gonna summarize here, okay? Nikki was never shy about the fact that she's not into this man, okay? He was not her physical type. She like described very vividly that she likes tall men, broad-shouldered, muscles, Wide back. I'm getting carried away here, just describing my own preferences and my own partner. But the point is, she likes a man who who doesn't have the same presentation as Shawn. Nikki is also mature enough at 46 to understand that looks are not everything. The physical outer presentation is not the most important thing. So she kind of goes into this. I'm not physically attracted to him, but I'm willing to learn more. Shawn Strikes me as a guy with a bit of a Napoleon complex, what he lacks in physical prowess, height, and just immediate physical animal attractiveness, he makes up for in his mind by, I guess, achieving, accomplishing. His last name is Best. He made a point to tell us at the beginning that he's been this achievement-oriented person because of his last name, and it's led him down this. path of becoming an ultra accomplished professional. More on that in a second. They immediately do not get along. And some of that I think is the fact that, Nikki's not bowled over by his looks. So she's not giving maybe on some things and certain conversations where she might be a little softer approaching the conversation with him. I also do firmly believe that because Nikki is not super attracted to him, she is not leaning into her feminine with him. And she is walking into the relationship in with more of a corporate energy. I think she works in HR. And so many of their conversations just feel like a board meeting, a Zoom conference between coworkers and not a relationship romantic partner conversation. And that's on both of them. And then they had a meeting that was very pivotal with the counselor. I think with Paul, that seemed to put them on a different path, gave them a a way to try to approach each other romantically, because they were both still seemingly dedicated to trying to make it work. I feel like Nikki was set up for failure. I'm gonna just say that right now. Cause I if I tell you I like tall, muscular, built men, and this is what you hand me, you did this for the plot. You did this for the plot. But is not perfect. Don't get me wrong. Again, she's got a little bit of an uptight energy about her. Sometimes I wanna be like, relax, girl, take a breath. But also, he doesn't do a lot of things again that like make her feel relaxed. For instance, they had a whole argument about him saying on camera that he Wants her to find a way toward sexuality with him. She told him very clearly, I'm not sexually attracted to you. I'm working my way there. They were making baby steps in the romance department, kissing, touching more, trying to get levels of intimacy. But this dude is thirsty. And he says to her, essentially that he's becoming, maybe a little sexually frustrated that they aren't progressing. And he wonders if she might be open to maybe not intercourse, but other forms of sexual gratification they can share with one another. Puzzling that she would be into that if she's just not attracted to you, and that's the reason why y'all haven't had sex yet. That's like a weird request to me right off the bat, but okay. He wonders if she might be open to. Mutual masturbation, maybe oral pleasure, something. She kind of bristles, and not harshly, by the way, but kind of makes it clear that she's not there. He wraps up the conversation by saying something akin to Yeah at some point I'm going to need my wife to meet my needs, my physical needs. She still doesn't snap out at this, but she does bring it up later in conversation, and he flatly denies ever saying this. I just I wonder if we're ever getting the whole story with these two. Similarly, Nikki pointed out a conversation where he told her, you know, you might be a ten in Seattle, but in New York, where I'm from, you're like a seven at best. Yikes on bikes. What do you mean? And all this time I'm like ready to pack Shawn up. I'm like, no, you never say that to a woman. And I think Nikki is adorable no matter what city you put her in. I don't even know, if we if we need to introduce scale. She's Hands down, an attractive woman who takes good care of herself and is gainfully employed, educated, poised, and elegant. I don't think we need to use a number scale here, but I do think we can be honest that yeah, you're at 46, though, she's in this experiment. and he's in this experiment at 47, 48, whatever he is. So you've both had trouble nailing down your perfect match. So she brings that up. I'm ready to pack Shawn up and tell her to get on out of there. When she confronts Shawn about it he provides some interesting context that puts Nikki in the hot seat, saying that she rolled up to him and was kind of grabbing his his belly fat and saying, look at this belly fat, like kind of thing. And it's like awkward. He already knows you're not attracted to him. Do you need to grab his belly fat? he was forthcoming about having a dad body. He doesn't seem to be any under any delusion that he is in shape. Great. And he also doesn't seem pretty pressed to do anything about it. So it is kind of take it or leave it, I would say to Nikki at this point. You take him as he is with his dad bod and his belly fat, understanding that this is it and it's only gonna get maybe worse as he ages, right? I understand where she's coming from, but I don't think the best way to encourage him to do anything about it is to like, look at this belly fat and like make fun of him. At least not at that stage in their relationship. You know, five years down the road when they're used to each other and understand each other's humor and stuff a little more, maybe, but I don't know. I don't think that's like the best way to approach that kind of thing. So at some point, I don't know how this happened, but at some point they tried something shy of sex to get with each other. Shawn was over the moon. Shawn came out of that bedroom with the robe wide open. Just a swinging, walking down the hallway. They put a little blurry thing over his member. And I didn't like it because I felt like he was trying to tell everyone that he scored, you know? And I didn't love it. I just thought it was a little bit gross. But he was happy over the moon. Nonetheless, for these two, it's doomed. Okay. I pray they decide to respectfully part ways. And not in a way that cuts the other down. I don't think either of them has to actually explain anything on decision day. I think they can both say, we tried. We're simply not compatible. It doesn't mean anything bad about you or me. Although I will say that Shawn, I don't love some of his tendencies. He he he does have a tendency sometimes to try to put Nikki down a little bit, like when he went to her apartment and was like, I bet she's the bougiest of her friends, but I've seen better. And I'm like, sir, do you remember the box you lived in with no furniture? Like you you're in no position to criticize someone's decor and or bougieness, but I digress. I d I just this isn't it. I pray Nikki doesn't settle for him. Don't even get me started about the time that he had some questionable hygiene that y'all wanted to argue about with me on TikTok. Not not all y'all. Most of y'all saw what I saw. Some of y'all wanted to be like, well, we don't know if they cut out a shower. That's not the point. She was talking to him in general about hygiene. And then what we saw was him wipe himself out of sink and get in the bed. But I'm not I'm not going down that rabbit hole. I'm not getting down that rabbit hole. I just I said what I said. I don't think they're compatible. I think they both are very grown, stuck in their ways. People who will probably struggle to find a match in the foreseeable future. Maybe not, now that they have been exposed on a national platform, their perfect match may surface in their DMs, but these two together, a no for me. All right. Last but not least, we got the two couples that split. Okay. Devin and Caitlin split at the end of the couple's retreat. Because Caitlin just doesn't like Devin. I just I'm starting to think Caitlin is into Mecca. No lie, but when those two were talking, there was so much more chemistry. She seemed so so much softer talking to Mecca than she was talking to Devin. And Devin, he seems like a sensitive guy, and he didn't have a ton of flaws, honestly. I couldn't point to things that were like red flags. I didn't love his hair. Okay, fine. But other than that, he seemed like a genuine, earnest, nice guy who was really looking to work with her and even mold himself a little bit and dim his light, so to speak, as his friend put it, to make it work with her. We obviously know that's not something that can last indefinitely, but yeah, I just I didn't I didn't love how he was treated. And I really do feel like Caitlin was. Hard on him, and that she didn't really give him a real chance. their lack of physical chemistry, I would have to put more on her because she pumped the brakes so hard with him in the beginning that out of respect for her physical space if I were Devin as a man, I would want enthusiastic consent from her, not a rub on the back, not a touch on the shoulder to let me know, it's a green light. I would want her to basically walk up to me and say, drop your pants, it's time. Or to, be more overt in the bedroom, demonstrating her interest in him making a move. That she held it against him that he was continuing to be a gentleman towards her was so ridiculous. I felt like she was just looking for an excuse to have their final blowout. They had their final argument, if you can call it that. It's a long time coming. But I was glad to see Devin finally just decide enough is enough. I don't have to keep doing this. and so the decision's been made for them. Next couple that ended it before D-Day, Nick and Courtney. Another couple that I think dragged it out way too long. And because I feel like Nick should have dumped her ass on like day one or two. even at their wedding, I was confused about some of the things that she was saying. But by day two, it was abundantly clear that she just wasn't into him. She used some excuses about how he was, previously on other reality shows. And sure, that might give someone. Pause and say, I'm going to examine everything he does more closely, and keep a more watchful eye on how he moves to make sure that he is showing up and presenting himself authentically in this relationship. But that little sprite put that man through the ringer. Okay. He seemed like a really nice guy. He seemed like he really wanted to try to make it work with her, but she was giving him ice queen, frigid, back off energy, even more than Caitlin was toward Devin. And I don't know Who she's looking for, but it wasn't him. And even her family told her that's how you know she was wilding out. Her family was like, I don't see what your problem is. You're being hard on him for no reason. And even the counselors were trying to give her like a warm-up, trying to give her a way to approach him, trying to give him ways to let his guard down. Cause she attacks him a lot. Yeah, I don't know. I know it takes two to tango, but. From what I saw, the demise of this relationship was nearly a hundred percent on Courtney. Courtney attacking him, putting him down. Everything he did, she didn't like. Everything he did was fake. She just didn't like the guy for whatever reason. I guess she's used to dating hotter, more I don't know, more something guys than him. In which case I would say, and why were you on this show, Courtney? You know? But 28 fitness competitor. She needs to take a really hard look in the mirror at how she treated this man who really did not do anything bad to her. And maybe in the unpacking and examining her behavior towards him and her coldness towards him, she will uncover something that will help her meet her Mr. Right Cause I just don't I don't see what Nick did so wrong to deserve all of her. Attitude and treatment. And that's it. That's that's all around couples, folks. So here's what I think. Okay, who's gonna say I do? And and and who's gonna be like, peace out. I think Adam is ready to lock it down with Marissa. I think he's been ready to be married since 18. He doesn't have a reason to not really be into her, except his ridiculous standard with his girlfriend. I think he's gonna say yes. I think Marissa will say no. I hope Marissa says no. just because she is at high risk in this relationship. Felipe and Tori. Something about the preview lets me know that Felipe may be the one actually approaching D-Day with a no. And Tori might have been moving toward a yes, which is confusing for me. My hope is that Tori says, you don't need to finish. I actually was just, I was gonna end this and just walks away. Cause he's to me he's a clown at this point. And look the show is over. Go back to the circus. Michelle and Cameron, I said it before, I'll say it again. If these two don't say yes, both enthusiastically yes, I'm gonna be annoyed. I'm gonna say the producers cut something out that we didn't see, or they're just, I don't know, trying to be dramatic. Mecca and Bellejolie I hope she leads the conversation with a resounding no, a no that echoes across all of Seattle so that he understands. That she knows her value and that she can do way better than him. Gosh, she can do so much better than him. And now that she has been showcased on this national platform as a good woman who sticks by her man. She's stuck beside him when she could have thrown him under the bus numerous times, who is loving and nice and open and caring and all the things that she is, in addition to being physically beautiful. Something tells me that she will, she will be fine. She will be just fine. Maybe she'll have like a happy ending, like Jordan Woods style that'll just, you know, make her able to just thumb her nose at him in the future and go like, thank God I went through that experience so I could meet my Prince Charming and not have to deal with you. I feel like Mecca is going into it probably with a yes in mind. psychotic as that seems, because he doesn't have a good reason to dump her. But we'll see. Shawn and Nikki, I think, are both going to stand there and say absolutely not. And I am totally okay with that. Ooch hell. If Shawn shows up saying that he would say yes, I I don't believe it. I don't believe he likes her enough for that. Neither of them likes each other enough. I would love to see them part ways and but do so respectfully. I don't want either of them to waste any time cutting the other down. And just let it rest. We all saw what we saw. We have eyes. Nikki doesn't need to make a case. We saw. Shawn doesn't need to make a case for why he would not say yes to someone who he clearly is not attractive to. He can leave it at that. She told me I'm not attractive to her. Why would I stay married to someone who has clearly told me and demonstrated that she's not attracted to me? End of story. I hope they don't waste any time trying to tear each other down in the process. You know, it's funny because I was trying to reshuffle the couples in my head and see if anybody went better, you know, one with the other. I really truly think I wonder what you guys think. I think Marissa and Devin are they would they would go great together. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I I like Adam. I just think Marissa's not his his girl. I think he's gotta find someone who is as hard charging as him or lower his expectation for the hobbies thing, the pickleball thing, or die alone. Those are the three options for Adam. Marissa and Devin are it's like a couple that I just I'm like, I wish they had put them together. I there's a little bit of an age difference. Marissa's a little older, but Devin is very mature and he has an energy about him and a confidence about him. I don't know if I guess it's the rugby playing or something that makes him seem like a good potential partner. Caitlin and Mecca. I would not be shocked if those two end up together. The chemistry they displayed, the way they flirted with each other in front of their partners. And I'm maybe that's exactly who they deserve. They deserve each other. So good for them. It occurred to me, hear me out, hear me out. It occurred to me that Courtney should have been paired with Adam. And maybe she wouldn't like all the dude and bro stuff, but I feel like they're both kind of hard asses who really like pushing themselves and they're kind of like, you know, achievement oriented. Like maybe she would, maybe that would mesh well with her. Nick, on the other hand, I don't know who else on the cast I would put him with, but I would be willing to see what would happen with Nick and Tori. Tori has a calm energy, kind of like Nick. Maybe they would enjoy each other, you know? Felipe, I would never put with anyone because he's not ready for a serious relationship. And yeah, as for Shawn and Nikki, because of the age thing. I would not pair them with anyone else on the cast. So there you have it. Those are my thoughts going into the finale that's going to air this week. And I will be sure to return with my reaction to everything that happened, everybody's decisions on D Day. This is a fascinating show. I'm glad you guys peer pressured me into watching it. I can't say I will watch. All subsequent seasons. I think I'm always gonna have like a wait and see what the internet is saying approach to this show because there are parts of it that are tedious, but it taps into that part of human psychology that I am fascinated by, which is people's desire to be wanted, to feel wanted and connected and loved and appreciated, but just wanted, That's why we like watching it Thank you guys so much for tuning into this episode, entertaining my ramblings about these couples. I would love for you to chime in with your opinions on what you think is going on with these people and what happened throughout the season and what your predictions are for D Day. And let's see what happens on decision day. I'm excited to find out. Do be sure to tune in for that episode and for other episodes I've got coming up on the podcast. Please do not forget to like, subscribe to the podcast, share with family and friends who you think might be interested in all the fun topics that we discuss. Have a great rest of your week. Talk soon. Bye.