You Will Doubt Yourself so Grow Anyway

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And so the the statement is you will lose people along the way.
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Because not everyone is meant to follow you into your next chapter.
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Welcome to Flip the Inner Script, a podcast for female founders who are over their inner critic showing up when they are scaling to bigger things.
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This podcast is for the woman who has built something and still finds herself wondering why success doesn't feel the way she thought it would.
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We'll dive deep into inner stories, social conditioning, self-leadership, identity, and what it actually takes to master being the woman who meets her next level.
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This is your permission slip to finally flip the script so that you can unlock the success you dream about.
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Let's go.
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Hello, welcome back to another podcast episode.
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I'm so excited you decided to tune in today.
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I feel like we're gonna have a good chat.
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There's a part of me that feels like we may go all over the place today, but one of the things that I have been told that I am getting really good at is kind of telling these stories and winding my way back around to the message that I want to share with you today is.
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And so first I want to start off by telling you a little story.
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This is actually a story that I tell often when I do talks because I feel like it can resonate with a lot of people.
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I am somebody who loves words.
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I mean, I guess this is no secret.
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I love to write words, I love to read words, and I have always been somebody that like words really connect with me deeply.
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It's almost like, you know, I was like that girl in high school that had like the black and white checkered notebook, and I was writing quotes in all of the pages.
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I had a notebook that was literally dedicated to quotes, quotes that really stood out for me, that were really impactful to me.
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Because I felt like sometimes when I was reading these quotes and reading other people's words and reflections, it was like a way to articulate something that I was thinking or that was on my heart.
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And this is why I, you know, expose myself to so many things all the time, because it's like that validating component of like, oh, like I feel seen, I feel heard, you know, I feel like this gives me the language that I maybe don't feel like I have right now.
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So words are words are really important to me.
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And I remember when I was 18 years old and I was in college and I was, you know, like learning about being a professional in the world.
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And one of the things that we had to do was we had to create an email.
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So our professor was like, okay, you know, in in second semester, you're gonna be reaching out to potential uh like co-op and placement supervisors, and you need to be putting yourself out into the world in a professional.
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I'm using ear quotes, because like actually the whole idea of being professional and being polished is something that I have really been working through as I've transitioned out of the social services and into like the coaching space because I feel like there's there's definitely a difference between those two things, and I feel like there's a lot more room for showing your personality and being more unpolished and being like unapologetic.
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And um, so yeah, anyway, that's my own like sidebar story of I've been really like unpacking this like need to be polished and professional.
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But of course, in that space, there's a different expectation, and so we were we had to create a professional email.
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And at that time, my email was Libra Chick 51.
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I'm sure you probably remember like what your email was.
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It's funny, my husband, when him and I first met, we um we got connected on MSN and I remember his email was like howdy five.
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It's just like I feel like everyone, maybe you can tell me what yours was.
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Everyone had like a ridiculous email.
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Um, I don't know if that's so much a thing now, but anyway, so LibraChick 51 was my email, and I was told that I could not use a LibraChick 51 email when I was, you know, applying for placement positions.
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So I go into Gmail, I sign up for like a Google account, I come up with an email that's literally my first and last name.
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It wasn't taken.
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I did have to use my middle initial.
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Um, but anyway, so I I created my email and then you had the opportunity to create an email signature.
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And like I said to you, quotes and words have always been so important for me.
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And as I get older, as I read quotes, I really like I almost there's certain ones that I read where it's like, oh my gosh, this is like part of my identity.
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This is like who I am.
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It gives me so much validation or it gives me so much permission.
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Oh my gosh, all the permissions that I have received from quotes on the internet.
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Um, but the quote that I chose was it's very well known.
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I'm sure that you know what it is, but I didn't realize at that time like how much weight and how much of an anchor that quote was going to be for, you know, the the next decades of my life.
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And so I quoted chose the quote, be the change that you want to see in the world.
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And if you were to ask me today what my favorite quote is, I would still tell you that that is my favorite quote because it really became like the driving force behind everything that I wanted to do.
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I've talked before about how like it's really important to know like what you value and what's important to you.
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And I've really understood that for me, like one of my deepest values is creating impact.
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And so this quote, like, be the change that you want to see in the world.
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It just meant so much to me because it really, again, validated and gave me that permission to pursue my path and my passion as I was going out into the world.
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And you know, it like I said before, it's kind of become my anchor.
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And I really believe in the power of having an anchor or like really understanding your why, and maybe your why is your anchor, like just kind of having that thing to come back to, kind of like a lighthouse, right?
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Like we are the boats out in the ocean, and it's dark sometimes, and knowing where, like having a lighthouse to kind of guide us back to where we want to go to bring us back home, you know, those things are really, really valuable and important.
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And throughout the years, I've also realized that quotes have been that thing for me.
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And a couple of months ago, I put a post out on Instagram that I actually refer back to a lot for myself.
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It was some version of a quote, but it actually was like a list of things that no one tells you about your journey to becoming so deeply self-assured, to really, really establishing your self-leadership and your identity.
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Like there's things about that growth journey that no one tells you are gonna happen.
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And so I am really big on like peeling back the curtain.
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I was gonna say peeling back the onion, maybe that too, but like pulling back the curtain on so many things so that people can feel like really connected in the journeys that they are going on.
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And so for today's episode, one of the things that I wanted to do was talk about these things that nobody tells you, or that maybe, you know, maybe somewhere along the way you've heard this, this sort of sentiment and it really resonated with you at that time.
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But of course, because you are living through those peaks and valleys of life, you know, when when things are going really well, it's easy to stay inspired and stay motivated and stay in flow, you know, on those months when you are having like awesome revenue months and when your launches are going super well, and you know, you're the collaborations that you're in are feeling really good, and you feel like you have good work-life balance and boundaries and your priorities are in order.
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It's really easy to just like stay the course during that time.
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But that's not how life is, you know, you you can't um we we know that it isn't always that way.
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And so there are also times where the pendulum is the other way, where it's like things feel really hard and you know, maybe money is really, really tight, or you know, you're working crazy hours to try and make something happen.
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And there are seasons of that, you know.
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I I am very strong and firm on my boundaries, but I also do acknowledge that there are periods of time in in my business where I do have to put let some of my boundaries go a little bit, you know.
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Um, if it happens all the time, you know, that is where we need to be exploring that a little bit more.
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Um, but there are those hard times.
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And so when you have anchors, when you have lighthouses, when you remember your why, when you have, you know, the quotes that you can now I don't have a notebook.
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I have like an um, like an album on my phone.
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And I save these often when I see them on Instagram as it's like, okay, these are the things that I'm gonna like return back to in those moments where I like need those words to hold the faith or hold the vision or be that light to bring me back so it can like kind of recenter me a little bit.
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So the first thing that I want to talk about on this journey and the things that nobody tells you on that journey is that you can absolutely guarantee that you are going to doubt yourself along the way, whether you are going out on a new business venture or whether you are, you know, putting up a boundary in your life, or with a colleague or a coworker or a supervisor, even, you know, if you are advocating for yourself in a new way for the first time, if you are in a position where you're like, I am not, I am responsible for my own life.
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I am not going to settle for the old script anymore.
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Um, self-doubt will get loud because it will be shining the light, kind of like I said earlier, the pulling back of the curtain, it will be shining a light into those places that maybe you have never faced before.
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You know, I've shared with you on this show before that when I was launching my book, Embody Bliss, into the world leading up to that, there were so many moments of self-doubt.
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There was so much second guessing.
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There was, there was a lot of like, who do I think I am?
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And, you know, because I have this awareness, I understood that a lot of that was related to me wanting to protect myself.
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We innately want to be in a place of calm and be in a place of regulation.
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And when we are asking ourselves to come forward, there are going to be those protection mechanisms that are gonna come into place.
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And so sometimes that looks like self-doubt.
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And so on this journey, you will have moments of self-doubt because you are your loudest critic, right?
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We are, if we're not careful, right?
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If you're in this space, I mean, we're we're starting to flip that a little bit, but I know that I am even still in a position where it's like I'm trying something new or um whatever it is, even in like conversations, sometimes, you know, I find myself being like, oh, I shouldn't have said that.
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And then it's like, whoa, whoa, you know, Andrea, like give yourself some grace here.
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Having those conversations, flipping the script with myself, um, allows me to not let that critic be so loud, but you can basically almost guarantee that when you are calling yourself forward and when you are operating at a different level and operating at a different frequency and protecting your energy and your boundaries in a whole new way, you're gonna feel some feelings about that.
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It doesn't mean that you shouldn't push forward on those things.
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The second thing is that something that is hard for a lot of people, we are hardwired for belonging and we want to be in community.
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It is like primal, it is evolutionary.
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If you are not part of the pack, then you are alone and you are vulnerable and we thrive in community.
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And so this one is hard for a lot of people when you are starting to enforce boundaries more, when you are speaking up in partnerships and collaborations with your coworkers, with your team, you know, in your relationship, in your friendships.
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Not everybody is going to be okay with those things.
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And so the statement is you will lose people along the way because not everyone is meant to follow you into your next chapter.
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And that can be really hard, especially, you know, if it is, I'm thinking in particular for me of a friendship that I had for so many years.
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And, you know, that friendship was really, really sacred to me.
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And we spent so much time together.
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And as I was growing and evolving, that friendship just didn't feel the same anymore.
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And there were many, you know, it was like I was becoming more aware of the different parts that we both played in that friendship.
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And, you know, now we don't really have any communication anymore.
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And that was really hard for a long time.
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And I still think about her and I I still miss her, but um I know that in my own growth journey, like that was something that I needed to needed to move forward from and make space from for no other reason than, you know, we we never, I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm not the same person that I was five years ago.
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I'm not the same person that I was three years ago, and I'm not even the same person that I was a year ago, quite frankly.
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And that's okay that that you change and that you grow and evolve, and people will grow and change and evolve with you.
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Like it definitely creates space for new conversations and evolutions of friendships.
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Um, but there also are some situations.
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Maybe it's like a job, maybe it's a, you know, it's a contract or a collaboration or um fuck, like a relationship, you know, like there are there are certain things that have a timeline and have a course, and we don't always know what those are.
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Um, but trusting that there's always a reason for things to run the course that they do or fizzle out the way that they do, you know, not holding so tightly, trying to control all of those aspects and elements and just trusting that things are happening the way that they are meant to for you can be really helpful when you are mastering um yourself and your reality.
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Another one that I want to share is that uh, because listen, I have felt this one and I'm certain that you have too, is that you will want to quit some days because nothing will feel like it's working.
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It's like you you make this declaration of like, okay, this is this is I'm now no no longer tolerating this.
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This is how I'm gonna move going forward.
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Now is the time that I'm really gonna focus on and pour into myself, and and then something happens, right?
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Is it's like you're on you're on the trajectory to have the best quarter and then you get really sick, let's say, or you're on trajectory to have the best launch and then it flops, and you weren't expecting that.
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You know, there will be times, and I've actually um again, this was another conversation and another quote that kind of came forward is it's like when you make a declaration of expansion or of something different, the universe is going to give you tests to see how bad you really want it.
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And so sticking through those things, moving forward on the course, even though it comes with discomfort, it comes with um, you know, things not going according to plan, sticking with it sets you apart from those people that allow that to derail them.
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And that is when you can then expand to that next level because it's like we're no longer operating from how we used to, but now we are like getting even more clear and just moving forward in a way that is perfectly aligned with where we know we want to go.
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Um, the timeline just might be, you know, different than something than we are expecting or we originally thought.
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The last thing that I want to share with you, because there are many, but um, I think I'm gonna cut it here, is that you will sit alone more often than you realize because growth is quiet and it's reflective, and it happens when no one is watching.
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So you right now, you are sitting by yourself somewhere doing some sort of task or activity, and you are listening to these words that I'm sharing, and they are embedding themselves, you know, into your mind, into your soul, hopefully, and really touching you on a deep level.
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And, you know, I experience this a lot.
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And if you write or if you create in solitude, you'll know this as well, is that it's like when I was writing my book, like I you can't possibly write or create unless you get quiet with yourself, right?
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Unless you are with your own thoughts and you are reflecting and you are releasing and you are getting curious and learning.
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And all of that stuff happens in solitude, you know, it happens in silence, it happens in being alone.
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And as you start to mend the relationship that you have with yourself, um, you naturally actually do spend even more time alone with yourself because it's like you're finding yourself again.
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You know, you can't find yourself with someone else.
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Now I will say that, you know, being in supportive environments, that you know, having a coach, having a mentor, having a community, they absolutely can ask you questions that encourage you to be reflective.
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But ultimately, like really in order to uh in order to move through and and learn and discover, like that has to happen alone.
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And it's really beautiful to be in a place where you feel so much comfort in being absolutely quiet with yourself with no distractions, with no stimulation, just you and yourself.
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Uh, this maybe it's you in nature, you and your journal, you laying on your mat, whatever it is, you know, I really strongly encourage, I say this to my clients all the time, like being comfortable with getting quiet with yourself and also creating safety in that because I also think for a lot of people, this is definitely true for me, is that I I was anxious about being quiet with myself.
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And I don't know if part of that was like I didn't know, I didn't feel comfortable being quiet with myself.
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I didn't know what was gonna come up, and so I didn't want to be.
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Um, but when I was really able to create safety with sitting quietly with myself and allowing whatever is gonna come up to come forward, somebody shared with me one time that nothing is ever gonna come up within your body and into your mind that you're not ready to face.
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That really gave me a lot of comfort and it actually enhanced my ability to be able to sit quiet with myself.
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You know, there will be many moments where you will look back and probably feel so much pride for that past version of you, and also so many moments where you chose yourself because there are there have been.
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Even if you can't see it right now, there have been so many moments where you have chosen yourself and you have advocated for yourself and you have believed in yourself, and that's when you'll know it's all been worth it.
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All of the ups, all of the downs, all of the light, all of the darkness, they're all worth it because they're all parts of that story that created the woman who is sitting here today, and that is absolutely beautiful.
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And so when you can find your why, you know, for me, it's being that change that I want to see in the world.
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And when you can find all those quotes, I mean, gosh, send me what your favorite quote is.
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I love a good quote.
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I can add it to my album.
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I hope that something that I've shared today has deeply resonated with you and has landed with you.
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And I will catch you next time.
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That's a wrap on today's episode.
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If something you heard hit home for you, share it with someone who you think could resonate with it too.
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And as a thank you, if you screenshot your review and send it to me on Instagram at the dot balance.blit, I will send you a special gift as a thank you.
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Ready to go deeper?
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Grab my book and body bliss, break free from the shoulds, and move into more joy through the link in the show notes.
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Or if you're curious about working together, your free 20 minute connection call is waiting.
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Love you for sharing your time with me today.
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Now go flip that inner script and see you next time.