Episode 18: Transforming School Leaders: Insights from Angela Kelly's Leadership Journey!

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Today I got to sit down with a special person that has helped me in my own educational leadership journey.
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Let's all agree that being an educational leader is tough.
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There's no doubt about it.
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But what if you didn't have to choose between success and balance?
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What if three things can be true at the same time?
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You can enjoy being a school leader, you can be great.
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At the same time, you can enjoy being a school leader, you can be great at school leadership and you can spend more time with your family without feeling overwhelmed.
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Well, you ask how?
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Well, I'll tell you how, through Angela Kelly Coaching.
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Today I am joined by Angela Kelly, the creator of the Empowered Principal Podcast and the Empowered Principal Life and Leadership Coaching Program.
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She's a former teacher, principal and district administrator with over 25 years of experience in education.
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As a certified life and leadership coach, angela has made it her mission to help school leaders create exceptional results while actually enjoying the leadership journey.
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In this episode, we're diving into the mindset shifts, strategies and support systems that allow school leaders to thrive in their roles without burnout.
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If you've ever wondered how to lead with confidence, balance your personal life and truly love what you do, this conversation is for you.
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Let's get this episode started with Angela Kelly.
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All right, everybody.
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Today we have a special guest.
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This special guest is somebody that is near and dear to my heart, because they kind of helped me out as a principal throughout my journey.
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So I'd like to welcome to the show Angela Kelly.
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Welcome.
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Hi there, jeff.
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It's so good to be here.
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Thank you for having me on the show
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Hey, Angela, I wanted to kind of get things started here with just kind of talking about your journey in education.
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So tell me about how you got education.
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What is the reason that got you to become a teacher in the first place?
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Wow, that goes back a few decades.
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So you know, like any kid coming out of high school, the big question is what are you going to do with your life?
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And for me, I actually need to start back into middle school.
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So I was in middle school, I was had moved a lot and there was this presentation in our you know theater and it was called Upward Bound and it was a program that was designed for students of families who had not.
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They're the first generation of students to potentially go to college, so nobody in my family line prior to me had attended a four-year university and you also had to meet certain requirements financially.
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So my family fit these financial goals and by the end of eighth grade I signed up for this program called Upward Bound.
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It was at Iowa State University.
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I was born and raised in Iowa and it was the game changer for my life, because I don't know that I actually had sights on going to college.
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I didn't really contemplate what my future would look like.
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It was that life was just happening and I was just going through the motions of being a kid and going to high school.
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And then this happened and I started thinking about my future, actually thinking about what I wanted when I grew up, the kind of career I wanted to have, and I went through Upward Bound for five years.
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So from the summer of eighth grade, clear through the summer of the year I graduated.
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So five summers, instead of being the kid who you know went to movies and hung out with her friends and went out on dates, I was going to college.
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I was going to school through this program.
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The first couple of years they are prep courses to prepare you for the rigor of college and then the last three years you start taking actual classes with other college students while you're in high school and then you have an intense amount of preparation and support and tutoring to ensure, because if you're going to get anything lower than a C, they kind of pull you because they realize you might not be ready.
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So I was able.
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By the time I graduated high school I had a semester of college credit and that was so invigorating and so motivating.
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I had this momentum going where, like, I started to identify as somebody who could actually go to college and get a degree.
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I have to highlight that because that program really did change my life and I credit the Upward Bound program to creating a vision for my adult life and my future.
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So I have to give a shout out to Upward Bound.
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And then when I got into college I actually my dad was like, well, you should go into finance.
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That just sounds very prestigious and you're really good at math.
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And I took one semester.
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I hated it.
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I was falling asleep in the class.
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I remember in economy class I slept through a quiz.
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It was just bad, it was bad news.
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And I was sitting down with some friends over the summer and they were asking how college went and I said, well, it's okay.
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But I wasn't fired up.
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I was more fired up about the social scene and being away from family and being a little independent college student than I was actually my future and learning.
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And I had a very profound conversation about what did I want to do, what did I love to do?
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That conversation it came up like I love kids.
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I babysat from a very young age.
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I loved being around kids, they lit me up and I loved school.
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So I think the combination of truly loving school as a student I always played school, I played the teacher and combined with my, you know, young adult love for children and I would say too, I really wanted to improve the experience of school for students, and not that I had a bad experience, but you know, I grew up in the 70s and 80s, so there were things that we could do to improve the experience of students and the emotional experience that students had and in addition to the style of learning that we did.
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So that really those combinations of of events in my life drew me into teaching and the minute I shifted into from finance into into education, it was like luck.
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I knew right then I was locked loaded.
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This was my life, I loved it, ready to go, and that was it.
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I never looked back and I ended up getting my early childhood credential along with my elementary teaching credential
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Right, as a teacher.
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How long were you a teacher?
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You know?
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I taught two years in Minnesota.
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So I graduated from Iowa State.
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We moved up to Minnesota.
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I taught pre-K.
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It was a birth through grade age five, early childhood program.
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I was the teacher and the coordinator for two years there.
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My husband and I moved out to California in 95.
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For two years there, my husband and I moved out to California in 95.
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And I taught at the same school for about 15 years.
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So I taught primarily kindergarten.
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It's my love language is kindergarten and I also taught first grade and then I became an instructional coach.
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I was a reading specialist so I did, you know, different seats on the bus, but I was definitely elementary, really profound love for early literacy and early childhood development and just the social-emotional development of children and I really loved working with parents.
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That's why I chose kindergarten, because you can just you get to bring them in and you get to cultivate them and their experience.
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And that was really important for me to set the stage for these families to have a positive experience with their school and to really love the school that they were sending their children to.
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So I did that for 15 years and in the meantime I'm going to say, like around 12, 13 years into teaching, I felt this desire for more.
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But you know, let's be honest on the podcast here.
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You know, when you're a teacher and you're like it's teachers, they have their mindset, perspective, and then admin.
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And as a teacher, you're looking at the admin, like I don't know about that, I don't know if I want to go to the dark side.
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I don't know that I could handle it.
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You know, deep inside I was like I don't know if I could handle it, but on the surface it was like I don't want to be like one of them, I don't want to have to do it like that.
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Or, you know, I just, like you, have thoughts and opinions about it because you've never experienced it.
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So you can only imagine.
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You know what it would be like.
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And we go both ways.
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We imagine that it's going to be amazing.
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We're going to have this big impact and what you know, it's going to be better than ever.
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It's going to oh, we're going to get out of a classroom, we're going to be able to walk the campus and we're going to have all this freedom and power.
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And then you also think about ooh, that looks really hard.
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And they're the ones who stay last and they're the ones who eat last and they're the ones who, you know, take the heat and I don't know if I can handle that.
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Am I capable of leadership, actually leading a vision, a school, a community, and so?
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But I was feeling it and it was just kind of I was keeping it on the inside.
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Well, my superintendent at the time was offering this program.
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So if any of you out there listening are teachers or site administrators or district administrators which I'm sure there's a bunch of you out there listening this program was another like.
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I think about these little milestones in my story that at the time I had no idea the impact they were really going to have, but I could feel like it was a calling to go into that.
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The second little milestone for me was this program.
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We called it EFULA.
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It was like, basically it was a leadership development program and my superintendent had the brilliant idea of like cultivating leaders from within the district and not always trying to hire somebody outside who didn't know our culture or understand, you know, our vision.
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And it was a two-year program.
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We'd go once or twice a week and it was pretty intense.
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Actually.
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It was more than I thought it was going to be, but it was a profound group of people, of my own peers, and we talked leadership and we talked straight leadership.
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We didn't sugarcoat it.
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We talked about how it actually felt to be a leader, the real challenges, the work-life balance issue, time management how do you get planning in, just how you keep it all together emotionally when teachers this and that.
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And it really gave me perspective and insight.
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But the best thing it gave me was I went from thinking I'm not cut out, it's not possible to like I think I can actually do this, I think I can actually do this.
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Did you have that moment, jeff?
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Yeah.
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So in my journey as becoming a principal, honestly I was a teacher in the classroom for 11 years.
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I was a math teacher and coached football, wrestling track, you know, did all those things.
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I love it.
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I love the connections with the kids.
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It honestly wasn't until I got into Omaha, where I was actually went from Millard North High School as a teacher to Ralston, and the main reason I went to Ralston was because of Dr Adler, who was the superintendent at Ralston.
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My main question was could I get into your leadership academy if I come over?
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Because at the current district I was in at Millard, I had to wait three years and I did not want to wait three years.
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I kind of wanted the training because I felt like it would be good for me to be able to have some more background and to become an educational leader.
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I had my credentials already.
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I had my curriculum master's and I also have my educational administration master's and so I was like I need to have something more like Leadership Academy.
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Maybe it'll make me more marketable.
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And so I spent two years in the Ralston Leadership Academy with Dr Adler, which was a great experience and that kind of propelled me into becoming a principal and having some experiences and some just insights on what that's like.
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So kind of very similar pathways there.
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So tell me more about, like you know, you're going from a teacher into becoming, on the dark side now right, becoming a principal.
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You kind of talked about that you know piece, where you went into like a leadership academy and how did that propel you?
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What was the next step to making that transition from teacher to principalship?
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Yeah, so that's a great question.
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I went through the program and it was the two years, so, yeah, it was like an academy and we graduated out of that and then shortly after that, so there's this period of time and I was in California at the time.
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I lived out in California for 30 years, so my career really spans primarily in California.
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But I there was a, you know, you had to go through the motions of getting the credential and because I already had a master's degree, I could go through kind of a.
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It was like a shorter term credentialing program offer because they were in need of administrators, so they had this kind of a.
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It was like a shorter term credentialing program offer because they were in need of administrators, so they had this kind of like limited time bonus.
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If you act now, you can go through this program through the county or the state and add on your administrative credentials.
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So I did that.
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And then I you know you have to take the test.
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And I remember driving down to Santa Cruz, California, and taking this test and it was a handwritten.
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It was just old school like handwritten six hours straight of just writing and writing and I thought, oh gosh, I hope I pass this test and I just you know you're just like a kid again, like waiting for your ACT or SAT scores to come back, and it came back.
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And it's another thing to live the experience and to be in it.
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Right, and, Jeff, you know that the that is definitely true.
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There is the theory of leadership and there's there's the life of a leader and there's the leadership I think, day to day, Right.
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Yep, yeah, yeah, and I know like for me, you know, transitioning from teacher and to becoming a principal, that I really know what I was getting myself into.
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Not really, I just knew that was my next step and for me it was like I was looking for that person to give me the opportunity and it kind of.
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I did a series of interviews because I, you know you're, there's a lot at my time, there's a lot more competitiveness becoming a principal in Nebraska at that time, because you know, everybody that was a teacher that wants to get into a principalship was trying to get into those or you're competing against other candidates that might have some more experience.
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So getting into it, you know it was hard.
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But once I got that opportunity, that's when I was trying to make the most of it and so that's part of like for me, you know, becoming a principal.
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I had the education, I had the academy, I had all this knowledge.
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Now I had to put it in practice and that's the part that gets tough, because there's not a lot of professional development out there for principals and for people that are just get stuck on an island, because my first principalship was out in Southern Valley.
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It was, you know out, in the middle of South Central Nebraska we, our school, was set in a cornfield basically, and so you know we couldn't.
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I mean, we had our conferences principals, we had our in Nebraska, we had educational service unit which we go to to do some professional development, but there wasn't a lot of ton of stuff out there.
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And then for me, about two years in, I started searching for professional development.
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And that's kind of when I ran across your podcast for professional development, and that's kind of when I ran across your podcast, the Empowered Principal.
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So tell me something about you know, going from that principal leadership what was that like?
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But then transition into getting into becoming the empowered principle person you are like.
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You basically help other principals manage not just the stresses of the job but also their life, and so kind of tell me about your principalship a little bit, but then kind of go into um, you becoming the empowered principal, which you actually wrote a book and I'll pull it out right here.
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So so the Empowered Principal by Angela Kelly, which kind of is the basis to what you do now.
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So kind of tell us about that journey.
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Yes.
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So fast forward to my first principalship.
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I got tapped on the shoulder by the superintendent and here's what I want to say about this for the listeners out there.
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If you're an aspiring leader or you're even considering, you're listening to this podcast with Jeff because you're thinking about becoming a leader and he's inspiring and you're like, oh gosh, jeff can do it.
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I want to do it.
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I want you to know this.
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It's an identity conversation with yourself, feeling capable, being capable.
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So, if you're not in the position yet, I want you just to imagine what it would look like, what it would feel like you know what the experience would be, and start to step into, even in just your mind, just kind of role play, what it might feel like to be a leader and get yourself into that identity of being a school leader.
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That's going to help you transition.
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It's going to feel easier to actually cross that threshold into into being that.
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So in my situation, my experience was I got tapped on the shoulder.
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It's your time, you've got to apply for this.
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I actually applied to be the AP of a middle school because I thought AP would be easier transition into leadership.
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Well, I didn't get that position.
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I was, you know, really sad at the time, but my superintendent said I have other plans for you, and so he hired me as a first year principal to open a brand new school, a brand new campus.
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So I who I wasn't.
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You're a new principal and you got a brand new school.
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Let's talk about adding on the stress.
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Yeah, I had I had enough issues with just um, the construction, construction and putting a new HVAC last summer and getting the building ready, and I'm going in my seventh year and I was in enough stress to do that.
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I could not imagine being a first year principal, opening a new building and having all those things added to it.
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So, yeah, tell me more about that.
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Yes, well, I'll tell you those first two years.
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So I was opening a brand new site, so it was a brand new group of people, brand new community, brand new physical buildings.
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So I was dealing with construction and I always I love to tell this story.
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It was a back to school night.
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It's like a week into the brand new school year.
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It's my first five days on the job with people on campus.
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Back to school night, parents are coming, children, campus is full of people and the office calls and she said you know, houston, we have a problem.
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She said the main water pipe broke and there is raw sewage running down the central campus.
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Oh man.
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So I had to be like, okay, everybody to the side, but I mean metaphorically, that's how I felt.
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I was literally wading through.
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All of you know the newness and the craziness of school leadership and these crazy moments were happening.
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But you know, all humor aside, it was the hardest two years of my life.
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I was a single mom at the time.
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My son had just transitioned into middle school, he was a sixth grader and I was a single parent trying to operate a brand new school and you know, I had to really set the foundations.
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I had to create this site council team and you know all of this, all of the teams had to be developed, vision, all of that.
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And so that was not the empowered, principal moment that I was having.
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It was like probably the most disempowered two years of my life.
00:22:52.715 --> 00:22:59.278
And there were some moments I just felt like it was happening to me Like the job is coming at me with a fire hose.
00:22:59.278 --> 00:23:00.278
I can't keep up.
00:23:00.278 --> 00:23:13.832
I was staying so late at work, having other people pick up my son, other people take him to his events, going in super early, staying super late, working nights and weekends, and I really thought how did I get myself into this?
00:23:13.832 --> 00:23:20.508
And I don't know how to get myself out of it, and that's when I really felt like I had no power.
00:23:20.508 --> 00:23:39.143
So, fortunately, the district assigned me a mentor and, by the way, I forgot to mention that not only was I a brand new principal at a brand new school, they only allowed me to work there three days a week, and they had me working at the district two days a week to fill another position.
00:23:39.143 --> 00:23:41.367
That was yeah.
00:23:41.367 --> 00:23:44.240
So I, I was spread a little too thin.
00:23:44.240 --> 00:23:49.101
So, and all of that to say, if I've gone through that, I'm sure somebody else listening has been through that too.
00:23:49.101 --> 00:23:53.900
So we feel you, we hear you out there and you can only do so much, right you.
00:23:53.900 --> 00:23:55.325
Just everything gets watered down.
00:23:55.325 --> 00:23:56.590
So you do the best you can.
00:23:57.353 --> 00:24:07.010
But I had a moment, two years, the second year into my school leadership where I thought I don't know if I can do this, and that's when I was searching online for help.
00:24:07.010 --> 00:24:13.812
And you're right, jeff, that was the first time I noticed there's a huge gap in support at the admin level.
00:24:13.812 --> 00:24:17.710
It's kind of like, hey, you got hired, we're so happy you're here, here are the keys.
00:24:17.710 --> 00:24:29.562
Go live with you know, go figure it out, live a great life, but please don't come back to the district asking for support because we're too busy dealing with other things and so you really are figuring it out on your own and it's very isolating and it's scary.
00:24:29.562 --> 00:24:36.211
There's a lot of there's a lot on your plate, a lot of responsibility, and you're thinking about students, staff, community.
00:24:36.211 --> 00:24:38.981
You know, of course, test scores come in and scare the.
00:24:38.981 --> 00:24:40.525
You know the GVs.
00:24:45.056 --> 00:24:47.381
I was desperate to be successful.
00:24:47.381 --> 00:24:52.957
I wanted to want the job, I wanted to want it and I wanted to be good at it.
00:24:52.957 --> 00:24:57.948
And that's when I've literally Googled where to look for help.
00:24:57.948 --> 00:25:02.830
And you can go to a conference, you can read a book, you can talk to your peers.
00:25:02.830 --> 00:25:26.922
That was about what was available and I love going to conferences, I love socializing, I love learning, but there is you go and you're motivated and inspired and then you come back into the realities and it's hard to integrate what you've learned for the long haul, like integrated into your identity as a principal, your methods and your approach into leadership.
00:25:26.922 --> 00:25:31.629
And so the next how long was I a site leader?
00:25:31.629 --> 00:25:32.777
Two years at that school.
00:25:32.777 --> 00:25:35.324
Then they moved me back to my homeschool.
00:25:35.324 --> 00:25:42.122
Now I am the boss of my peers of 15 years, so I don't know if you've experienced that.
00:25:42.122 --> 00:25:45.417
I think a lot of principals become the leader of their peers.
00:25:45.417 --> 00:25:49.409
That is an interesting dynamic to have to navigate.
00:25:50.172 --> 00:25:53.719
And so, again, there wasn't internal support.
00:25:53.719 --> 00:25:59.929
I sought support outside, but what I found was life coaching.
00:25:59.929 --> 00:26:06.207
I didn't know what life coaching was, but I knew I needed one because my life was a big mess.
00:26:06.207 --> 00:26:15.347
I was not feeling like I was doing anything well, being a parent, running my household, being a good principal, being an instructional leader.
00:26:15.347 --> 00:26:29.725
So I found this person, dr Martha Beck, and I signed up for her program, not to become a life coach, but to learn what it meant to coach my own life.
00:26:29.725 --> 00:26:36.394
I wanted some empowerment back, I wanted some agency, I wanted a sense of control somewhere, somewhere along the way.
00:26:36.394 --> 00:27:43.728
And from her I learned just some techniques to just kind of regulate myself emotionally when I was overwhelmed, or to stop and take time for myself to just literally make sure that I'm drinking water, make sure that I'm eating lunch we weren't running around so busy making sure that I put time limits on the amount of work that I did.
00:27:43.788 --> 00:27:54.447
So I started playing around with this idea of I'm a human in a school leadership role versus.
00:27:54.447 --> 00:27:58.844
I'm a school leader and that's my only identity, because that job's never done.
00:27:58.844 --> 00:28:03.780
We all know that, and the same goes for students.
00:28:03.780 --> 00:28:09.786
If there are students listening to this, you might just think like the studying's never done, the learning's never done.
00:28:09.786 --> 00:28:21.031
And on one hand, you're right because we are lifelong learners, but on the other hand, there needs to be something more than studying, learning, test scores, achievement, and that there needs to be living.
00:28:21.031 --> 00:28:38.168
So there's all the doing, but then there's also the living, and that's where I got my first little breath of fresh air, like I'm going to be a human in this job, not just a robot trying to keep up with the demands and the wildness of school leadership.
00:28:38.168 --> 00:28:40.379
Yeah, so, yeah, yeah.
00:28:41.174 --> 00:28:46.748
So you're talking about, just you know, hey, yeah, I'm a school leader, but I'm also a person, right.
00:28:46.748 --> 00:29:07.268
Yes, and your journey on that?
00:29:08.608 --> 00:29:15.917
It was profound because what I did was I started paying attention to what I needed as a person.
00:29:15.917 --> 00:29:18.683
You have physical needs, right.
00:29:18.683 --> 00:29:25.287
You need sleep, you need food, you need movement and exercise, you need rest, you need to have pleasure and playtime in your life.
00:29:25.287 --> 00:29:26.655
You need this full experience.
00:29:26.655 --> 00:29:37.702
So the more I tuned into me, the more I started realizing that we are more connected than separate.
00:29:37.702 --> 00:29:45.989
That was the profound change where I started seeing teachers as just fellow humans, as fellow people on the planet.
00:29:45.989 --> 00:29:50.612
We're all here for the right reasons.
00:29:50.612 --> 00:29:58.526
We're all here doing the best job we can trying to figure this thing called education out, trying to figure out life.
00:29:58.526 --> 00:30:02.096
We're all here and we all want to feel good.
00:30:02.096 --> 00:30:09.475
We all want to feel included, significant, important, valued, connected, appreciated, cherished.
00:30:09.475 --> 00:30:11.741
We all want to feel the same feelings.
00:30:11.741 --> 00:30:51.907
And so that, when I realized what we're striving here, what we're striving for in education is human development, we're striving to, you know, support our young ones, our students, with tools and skills to navigate the human experience, not just the learning, not just academics, but their body, physically changing and developing and growing, and their ability to interact with their peers and to build friendships that have meaning and fill their hearts with joy and fun and laughter and memories, and same with teachers.
00:30:51.907 --> 00:31:05.335
Teachers go into this for the right reasons and if you believe in that and you believe that your story is more similar to their story than separate, we aren't admin and teachers, we're humans, we're educators.
00:31:05.335 --> 00:31:12.428
And that team when I really saw that we're a team we want the same things.
00:31:12.428 --> 00:31:14.394
We want kids to be happy and successful.
00:31:14.394 --> 00:31:15.661
We want them coming to school.
00:31:15.661 --> 00:31:18.340
We want to feel good about ourselves as teachers.
00:31:18.340 --> 00:31:31.224
Whether we're an admin, whether we're the secretary or the nurse or the counselor or you know, tech support or bus driving or maintenance, we all want to feel good about who we are and what we're contributing.
00:31:31.224 --> 00:31:37.149
And that's when I realized equal contribution, but different, equal value.
00:31:37.149 --> 00:31:43.646
So our contributions whether you're a teacher, whether you're a maintenance crew, we all are contributing something valuable.
00:31:43.646 --> 00:31:44.675
It just looks different.
00:31:44.675 --> 00:31:46.760
So we're more together than separate.
00:31:47.301 --> 00:32:08.903
And then I started teaching that with kids and they would come into the office and have their disagreements and have their conflicts and I would be able to start talking with them about the similarities and how we want to feel the same way and what we really want is to feel good about ourselves and our connections with people and then from there it just it's.
00:32:08.903 --> 00:32:10.745
It started rolling.
00:32:10.745 --> 00:32:17.042
I started getting how to be a leader, which was connection and similarity over separation and disconnect.
00:32:17.042 --> 00:32:27.674
That's when, in 2015, I was looking like how do I get more of this, how do I become a stronger leader, a better leader?
00:32:27.674 --> 00:32:31.797
And you know, jeff, again there's a little bit out there for school leaders.
00:32:31.797 --> 00:32:33.683
It was starting to percolate.
00:32:33.683 --> 00:32:38.440
There's organizations that provide incredible learning connections.
00:32:38.440 --> 00:32:46.500
I love it, and there was just this little piece for me personally that was missing, and that's when I found the Life Coach School.
00:32:46.760 --> 00:32:51.690
I went and got certified in 2015.
00:32:51.690 --> 00:32:59.718
School I went and got certified in 2015.
00:32:59.718 --> 00:33:01.039
And I applied those concepts for two years as a principal.
00:33:01.039 --> 00:33:01.942
Then I got promoted to the district level.
00:33:01.942 --> 00:33:03.204
I was the RTI coordinator for the entire district we had.
00:33:03.204 --> 00:33:13.899
We were able to build a really robust academic RTI and behavioral RTI program at my site, and then I was supposed to go and help my fellow peers do the same at their schools.
00:33:14.642 --> 00:33:24.148
Well, one year at the district office is, if you've ever moved from site to district leadership.
00:33:24.148 --> 00:33:28.787
That's like a whole nother level of perspective and I was like, okay, I can do this, but I did.
00:33:28.787 --> 00:33:29.408
I felt disconnected from kids.
00:33:29.408 --> 00:33:31.213
So I spent a lot of time at the sites and I was like, okay, I can do this, but I did.
00:33:31.213 --> 00:33:32.317
I felt disconnected from kids.
00:33:32.336 --> 00:33:40.142
So I spent a lot of time at the sites and what I learned is that principals were coming together in the district at the leadership team meetings.
00:33:40.142 --> 00:33:46.527
Everyone had a smile on their face, everyone was saying everything was great and this is what they're going to do problem solvers.
00:33:46.527 --> 00:34:00.931
And then when I go back to their sites and we'd close the office door, the truth came out of how they really felt and the struggles they were facing and the pain they were in and the insufficiency that they felt and the disempowerment they felt.
00:34:00.931 --> 00:34:06.827
They felt a lack of ability to inspire and create influence and impact in their school as a leader.
00:34:06.827 --> 00:34:12.896
And it's because that identity and leadership skills and all of that was missing from the conversation.
00:34:12.896 --> 00:34:20.643
It was be this task, manager, and I'm sure you run a school because you went from a small school to a big school, right, jeff?
00:34:20.954 --> 00:34:25.185
Yeah, I went from a school with about 175 students to a thousand.
00:34:25.185 --> 00:34:33.806
Yes, I made a pretty big jump and kind of the great thing was is when I was getting ready to make that jump.
00:34:33.806 --> 00:34:35.327
That's when I found your podcast.
00:34:35.788 --> 00:34:38.797
Yes, that's right Kind of what you're doing.
00:34:38.797 --> 00:34:44.628
I think we had like a free consult and we kind of worked through some things because I was getting frustrated.
00:34:44.628 --> 00:34:55.529
I'll be honest, I went on like in the last two years I was like on 18 or 19 interviews because I was looking to be like, ok, I want to take that next step.
00:34:55.529 --> 00:35:06.194
There's other circumstances I'm not going to get into for for what I was doing in this situation, but yeah, that's where I because I was looking for at the time, how can I become a better leader?
00:35:06.194 --> 00:35:12.139
But also I need help because of something I'm doing is not working and what is it.
00:35:12.139 --> 00:35:16.981
And I think that's when we talked about you know a lot of about your mindset.
00:35:16.981 --> 00:35:19.202
You took me through the steer cycle.
00:35:19.202 --> 00:36:30.204
We did some brain drains and we were really really able to focus in on kind of what I needed to do to get into you know the right mindset for that, to show people my value, show people that you know, envision myself into their school and how do I do that.
00:36:30.204 --> 00:36:31.307
And so we worked you know worked a lot on that.
00:36:31.307 --> 00:36:41.617
And, of course, I was following you on Facebook and I listened to your podcast, and so I was just kind of following along because I needed something to kind of help me through the journey.
00:36:41.617 --> 00:36:47.363
Because you're right when you talk about you know, go to these conferences, you network, you do these things.
00:36:47.363 --> 00:36:53.041
I even go to, you know, our regional and state conferences, our regional meetings and things like that.
00:36:53.041 --> 00:36:55.756
But then you go back and then you're on your own again.
00:36:55.756 --> 00:36:57.983
So what can you get daily?
00:36:57.983 --> 00:37:09.095
And I think that's kind of where you're kind of fitting into that piece, to where you can help principals on the daily with becoming a better leader but also being the best version of themselves.
00:37:09.095 --> 00:37:18.921
So, honestly, this podcast is a derivative from working with you because you know, knowing that there is not a lot out there.
00:37:19.824 --> 00:37:34.263
My goal with this podcast is basically to connect people with other people, but also tell other people's stories, but also try to help other principals in these situations or in these leadership roles to be the best they can be.
00:37:34.263 --> 00:37:55.739
And if I can help inspire and give them some nuggets of knowledge here and there, that would help them so they don't have to go through some of the hard things you had to go through or other previous principals had to go through as well, because I think you're going to go through some dark times as an educational leader, but to have somebody kind of support you through that is an important piece.
00:37:55.739 --> 00:38:08.185
And I find that's kind of where what you're doing now, going from your district leader role, now you're the empowered principal, guru, life coach.
00:38:08.185 --> 00:38:15.089
You kind of help people with that and you stay pretty busy doing that.
00:38:15.089 --> 00:38:18.230
So talk about that transition you talked about.
00:38:18.230 --> 00:38:21.452
You know, I went to become a life coach.
00:38:21.452 --> 00:38:23.833
You are starting to implement practices.
00:38:24.293 --> 00:38:35.947
I think the one thing you really kind of talk about in your book is you know your mindset, your thoughtfulness or just how do you think you know your brain works and your STEAR cycle kind of.
00:38:35.947 --> 00:38:39.481
So kind of talk about you know the STEAR cycle.
00:38:39.481 --> 00:38:44.541
Why is it important to help you become an empowered principal?
00:38:45.143 --> 00:38:57.398
Yes, of course I first have to do a shout out for Jeff, because Jeff and I worked together as one-on-one client and also he was a member of my group coaching program at the Empowered Principal Collaborative.
00:38:57.398 --> 00:39:16.437
But what I want to highlight about Jeff was how quickly our conversations went from just talking to him implementing and I don't mean so much like he didn't add more to his plate, he implemented, he adjusted his approach.
00:39:16.437 --> 00:39:23.702
He didn't add to his plate, he adjusted his approach by broadening his perspective and it the other day we were talking about.
00:39:23.702 --> 00:39:51.184
You know how we support fellow adults to have conflict and conversations and conflict and to resolve those as adults and we have to be able to hold space for them.
00:39:51.184 --> 00:40:08.322
And I just think Jeff does an incredible job of implementing mindset plus skillset and that supportive approach and that really the belief that hey, we're all here to feel good, to do our best, we are on the same team.
00:40:08.322 --> 00:40:10.142
I see that in your work, jeff.
00:40:10.142 --> 00:40:20.615
I see it in your post, in your work, in the conversations that you and I have, and this podcast is really a manifestation of that work that you have done right.
00:40:20.615 --> 00:40:29.222
I was there to initiate those conversations with you and to provide that awareness and to get you feeling aligned to what you value and who you are.
00:40:29.222 --> 00:40:31.828
But from there the momentum was all used.
00:40:31.828 --> 00:40:39.379
So Jeff is an incredible leader and I'm I couldn't be happier that he started this podcast, because he has so much wisdom to share with you guys.
00:40:39.379 --> 00:40:41.324
And what I love is this is just the beginning.
00:40:41.324 --> 00:40:48.646
So I I have to say that because I respect him, I appreciate him and and this, this work that he's doing.
00:40:48.646 --> 00:40:57.386
He's not just talking at you in this podcast, he's living it and sharing his stories and experiences with you in real time.
00:40:57.386 --> 00:41:00.951
So I really honor and respect that.
00:41:00.951 --> 00:41:04.061
So yes, so sorry, I had to say that.
00:41:04.061 --> 00:41:06.487
No, no, I appreciate it, yeah, yeah.
00:41:06.547 --> 00:41:08.781
So back to the question was how I transitioned.
00:41:08.781 --> 00:41:12.876
So that one year at the district I saw people suffering is really what happened.
00:41:12.876 --> 00:41:17.059
I saw my peers suffering and it pained me, it ached me and I thought we really are the same.
00:41:17.059 --> 00:41:17.605
I felt that way, too, I.
00:41:17.605 --> 00:41:18.594
It ached me and I thought we really are the same.
00:41:18.594 --> 00:41:19.978
Like I felt that way too.
00:41:19.978 --> 00:41:20.379
I didn't.
00:41:20.379 --> 00:41:21.984
I thought I was alone and isolated.
00:41:21.984 --> 00:41:22.866
I thought it was just me.
00:41:22.866 --> 00:41:31.908
I thought I was the one who was insufficient, or I didn't have what it took, or I wasn't charismatic enough or smart enough or, you know, organized or disciplined enough.
00:41:32.735 --> 00:41:35.017
But I see that it's the job.
00:41:35.017 --> 00:41:39.360
And so if it's not the people that are the problem, it's the job.
00:41:39.360 --> 00:41:41.981
And so if it's not the people that are the problem and the job is the job, it's just the reality.
00:41:41.981 --> 00:42:11.482
If we can't go in and fix, we can't go out and change what in the job, even on the hard days, or even when the test scores don't land where we'd like them to, or even when we're working with a kid who's really struggling to regulate emotionally, or working with an adult who is really struggling to regulate emotionally.
00:42:11.482 --> 00:42:24.825
And why don't we just have a space where principals can talk about this, talk about, like I'm barely emotionally regulated right now, let alone being able to help somebody else regulate emotionally.
00:42:24.825 --> 00:42:32.048
We expect kids to emotionally regulate, yet we sometimes don't have the capacity to do that ourselves.
00:42:32.735 --> 00:42:40.755
So, just in my own observation of me, that's where and through the Life Coach School, I came up with it's.
00:42:40.755 --> 00:42:49.956
My coach calls her work the model and and I took that and ran with it and created the STEAR Cycle.
00:42:49.956 --> 00:43:03.199
But it it's just a tool, not just it's a powerful tool, it is a tool that helps you observe your what's your brain is offering you, your thoughts, and just observe them.
00:43:03.199 --> 00:43:18.966
Kind of give a little distance between you and your thoughts to create that space so you can write them down on the paper, type them up, and that's what the brain drain is, where you can just like, wow, what is going on for myself right now?
00:43:18.966 --> 00:43:20.549
And I've I've shifted a little bit.
00:43:20.549 --> 00:43:30.983
Like I wrote this book when I was a baby coach, a brand new coach, and you know I it was like my, my pride and joy at the time, and I'm writing another book right now.
00:43:30.983 --> 00:43:32.626
Actually, too, what as I've been this?
00:43:32.626 --> 00:43:33.989
Yeah, breaking news.
00:43:33.989 --> 00:43:35.600
Yes, breaking news.
00:43:35.600 --> 00:43:54.331
It's good, you have to let me know when it's out at your thoughts.
00:43:54.711 --> 00:44:00.818
But what I realized is that the emotional experience we're having is truly the compass.
00:44:00.818 --> 00:44:08.440
So you still look at your thoughts, but what I would offer to you now is what are you feeling?
00:44:08.440 --> 00:44:21.164
Being able to identify, because sometimes you're feeling all worked up and you don't know really what's going on inside and you're going to have a brain drain, trust me, like, if you're upset or you're frustrated or you're overwhelmed, the brain is going to go.
00:44:21.164 --> 00:44:24.037
Well, there's this, this, this, this, this and let it.
00:44:24.037 --> 00:44:26.261
Let it drain all out.
00:44:26.261 --> 00:44:32.621
Eventually you're going to be like, okay, I got, I said my piece and you'll feel a little release of energy there.
00:44:32.981 --> 00:44:39.495
But that practice gives you some space in your mind to say, okay, I've acknowledged how I'm feeling.
00:44:39.495 --> 00:44:41.199
I'm overwhelmed or I'm upset.
00:44:41.199 --> 00:44:42.682
Here's why.
00:44:42.682 --> 00:44:43.686
So what are you feeling?
00:44:43.686 --> 00:44:45.518
Number one why are you feeling it?
00:44:45.518 --> 00:44:55.197
That's the brain drain, all the thoughts are going to pour out, and then you have some space there to be like huh, all right, I'm acknowledging that I'm overwhelmed or I'm really upset right now.
00:44:55.197 --> 00:44:57.160
Valid, fair enough.
00:44:57.160 --> 00:44:58.442
Now what?
00:44:58.922 --> 00:45:00.304
And you can look at the thoughts.
00:45:00.304 --> 00:45:03.669
You separate them from your mind because they kind of just one.
00:45:03.669 --> 00:45:09.021
They go on repeat, they loop over and over and it feels like there are 200 thoughts when actually there's probably 20.
00:45:09.021 --> 00:45:15.222
And they're just on repeat and loop and then they get all jumbly and entangled in your mind and you kind of go down these rabbit holes.
00:45:15.222 --> 00:45:21.158
But putting it on the paper helps you, it finites them.
00:45:21.158 --> 00:45:26.576
You start to see like there's only so many and then you can say, okay, here's what I'm thinking.
00:45:26.576 --> 00:45:28.340
How is that feeling?
00:45:28.340 --> 00:45:31.908
Which ones of these feel terrible and which ones feel a little better?
00:45:31.908 --> 00:45:35.791
Let's lean over there, and that's what my next book is going to be about.
00:45:35.832 --> 00:45:36.856
It's called Feel Good Goals.
00:45:36.856 --> 00:45:51.921
It's about the goal here is to feel good and we use this process to, like, lean back into what feels more aligned, what feels true, what feels good, what do we want to believe about ourselves, about others, about our school and that?
00:45:51.921 --> 00:46:05.219
So that's the gist of the empowered principle is how can I take back, empower myself to feel better, to learn what's working, what's not, what do I want to shift to do differently?
00:46:05.219 --> 00:46:20.943
But also this is another secret is that if you're having a thought that feels terrible, like I'm not good enough, or I really messed this up, or I'm a failure, I'm insufficient, in some way we all have the not enough thoughts.
00:46:22.156 --> 00:46:28.498
When they feel terrible and you feel like you're in so much pain, the little secret is that they're not true.
00:46:28.498 --> 00:46:32.927
That's just your brain's way of saying like, hey, you know what?
00:46:32.927 --> 00:46:38.384
I don't want you to feel the pain of failing.
00:46:38.384 --> 00:46:43.385
So I'm going to just tell you in advance don't even try, because I don't want you to fall down and scrape your knee.
00:46:43.385 --> 00:46:45.251
I'm going to protect you and keep you safe.
00:46:46.341 --> 00:46:49.510
And the brain can't differentiate between real pain and perceived pain.
00:46:49.510 --> 00:46:53.466
So it's just it's going to freeze you and say like, please don't try this at home.
00:46:53.466 --> 00:47:01.269
This could end, this could result in pain, whether that's physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain, psychological pain.
00:47:01.269 --> 00:47:02.623
We're so afraid of pain.
00:47:02.623 --> 00:47:18.673
But if we lean into it and we're looking at the steer cycle and that's like, ooh, I'm really feeling some pain here, like let's say we failed, let's say we did and we acknowledge it, it's better to validate that, acknowledge it and lean into it and be like you know what, and this is true.
00:47:18.673 --> 00:47:28.504
I think I taught you, jeff, something called the land of and where it's like this might be true, but also equally true is this other side where you can start to feel better.
00:47:28.504 --> 00:47:33.031
So even on those hard days, it's like yep, today was hard and dot, dot, dot.
00:47:33.031 --> 00:47:36.601
What's equally true are these other things that are good.
00:47:36.601 --> 00:47:38.625
There's the duality of our jobs.
00:47:38.625 --> 00:47:44.483
There's really hard days, heartbreakingly hard days.
00:47:45.204 --> 00:48:26.971
I just moved here to Nashville and in real time, I don't know for those of you who know there was a school shooting recently, just this past week, and there is a principal out there and a family, multiple families, who are in the biggest pain of their life and to me, losing a student on my watch is one of the most unimaginable things and that principal is in so much pain and we can feel compassion for that principal and it is like probably our biggest nightmare and fear as a principal is losing a student on our watch, when it's our job to protect them and also knowing we do our best but we aren't in control of the world.
00:48:26.971 --> 00:48:34.256
Then it becomes how do I navigate this heartbreak, this pain?
00:48:34.256 --> 00:48:36.778
So, and pain is pain, right.
00:48:36.778 --> 00:48:45.540
Whether you've lost a student or you've lost a staff member or whatever tragedy of any kind that's happened at your school.
00:48:45.540 --> 00:48:49.571
And hey, if you haven't had a tragedy, don't feel bad that you haven't had one.
00:48:49.571 --> 00:48:51.928
You've had it in just a different format, right.
00:48:52.881 --> 00:49:00.502
Whether it's like an IEP that didn't go well or a parent that got upset and left your school, or there's different kinds of pain, we all experience it.
00:49:00.502 --> 00:49:08.446
So acknowledge your pain, lean into it and just know people like Jeff are out there and Jeff's been through pain too.
00:49:08.446 --> 00:49:11.540
He's been through really hard times and really hard conversations.
00:49:11.540 --> 00:49:12.942
He's had to lead people, he's had to coach people.
00:49:12.942 --> 00:49:15.666
He's had to coach people up, he's had to coach people out.
00:49:15.666 --> 00:49:27.770
So you do both, but your willingness to expand your capacity to feel pain also lets you expand your capacity for joy, and that's the duality of this job.
00:49:28.131 --> 00:49:36.094
So that's really what I do in a nutshell is I help people navigate this thing called educational leadership.
00:49:36.094 --> 00:49:48.733
I help you navigate the hard stuff emotionally, mentally but I also help you visualize and learn and expand your potentiality and your possibility about what you can be, what you can experience.
00:49:48.733 --> 00:50:01.886
And, hey guys, at the end of the day, we're all here to support, to love, to have a good time and to create memories, to create success stories, to be proud of ourselves, our students and the work that our teachers and our team are doing.
00:50:01.886 --> 00:50:05.262
And that's your legacy, that's what you want to leave behind.
00:50:05.262 --> 00:50:07.227
But here we are.
00:50:07.227 --> 00:50:19.340
Today, jeff, this will be a memory locked in time, an experience that you and I are creating, and then tomorrow this will just be a memory and it will be a beautiful memory and it's one that we want to lock in and remember this forever.
00:50:19.340 --> 00:50:27.865
But all of us are doing this, we're all out there at our schools, you're present in the day, and that tomorrow, the next day, this day is a memory.
00:50:27.925 --> 00:50:45.546
So that brings me to just kind of I know we've been talking so long here but wrapping up this podcast episode, it's really about intentionality, who we want to be, not perfection, we don't even want perfection, that would be very robotic.
00:50:45.546 --> 00:50:47.166
We want to experience it all.
00:50:47.166 --> 00:50:55.003
We want to have the capacity to experience it all, and that's something that I see Jeff modeling, not just as a school leader.
00:50:55.003 --> 00:50:59.426
Jeff models it as a husband, as a friend, as a father.
00:50:59.426 --> 00:51:03.028
I see him on his Facebook, empowered way, so that you can enjoy your life.
00:51:03.028 --> 00:51:21.490
You can enjoy, you can have balance, you can work hard and go home and play hard.
00:51:21.490 --> 00:51:24.705
You can get the rest you need and put a lot of effort in.
00:51:24.705 --> 00:51:30.202
You can have both, and believing that it's possible to have both is where we start.
00:51:31.084 --> 00:51:45.326
Yes, and that's really what I love about the work that you're doing is how you're helping principals not just manage the job, the task at hand, but also how can they just be someone that can enjoy just being.
00:51:45.326 --> 00:51:50.862
You know a husband, a father, you know a good friend, you know somebody that's.
00:51:50.862 --> 00:51:53.065
You know we are people outside of this job.
00:51:53.065 --> 00:51:56.951
We're not just, we just don't go home and do nothing.
00:51:56.951 --> 00:52:04.049
We got, we got interests, we got things we like to do, and so you being able to tap in, I think there's not a lot that.
00:52:04.049 --> 00:52:11.553
You're the only person I know that has the experience being a teacher, a principal, a district admin.
00:52:11.553 --> 00:52:23.383
But then this life coaching adventure you're on, where now you're helping people navigate that job, navigate how to find the joy out of it, cause, like you said, it is, it's a tough job.
00:52:23.383 --> 00:52:27.861
There's going to be, um, you know, great days and there's going to be good days.
00:52:28.422 --> 00:52:32.209
I always say, cause I I'm not, I'm a non-traditional educator.
00:52:32.209 --> 00:52:41.693
I worked in a factory for three and a half years and I always tell people the worst day in education is better than the best day of my factory job.
00:52:41.693 --> 00:52:49.061
So I just enjoy what I do, but at the same time, I think it's that mindset that we come in with.
00:52:49.061 --> 00:53:01.146
Having someone like Angela Kelly here to help you navigate is something that I would encourage principals and educational leaders to tap into.
00:53:01.146 --> 00:53:06.968
So, angela, tell us what you're up to with the Empowered Principal.
00:53:06.968 --> 00:53:09.409
How can people connect with you?
00:53:09.409 --> 00:53:11.610
How can they reach out to you?
00:53:11.610 --> 00:53:22.234
I'll probably well I'll put some your email or some connections down in the show notes so people can easily find you in the podcast.
00:53:22.234 --> 00:53:36.479
But you know how can people connect and get in touch with you if they're really thinking about you know what a lot of the things that I heard today resonates with me, and I really want to learn how to have that work-life balance.
00:53:42.100 --> 00:53:42.681
How can they connect with you?
00:53:42.681 --> 00:53:42.822
Angela?
00:53:42.842 --> 00:53:43.203
Yeah, absolutely so.
00:53:43.203 --> 00:53:44.626
Yeah, I jumped into this job around, I think, 2017.
00:53:44.626 --> 00:53:55.030
So I've been coaching for the last eight school years and I started with one-on-one coaching, as Jeff knows, and then the demand expanded into I do have some one-on-ones.
00:53:55.030 --> 00:54:11.730
I don't coach you know a ton of one-on-ones anymore, but I do coach one-on-one with some principals, but the majority of people are coming into the Empowered Principal Collaborative, which is a group coaching program, and what I love about that is the synergy.
00:54:11.730 --> 00:54:27.510
It's the you don't feel alone, like one-on-one is where we have those confidential, private conversations and I do offer one-on-one sessions to the members of EPC if there is something confidential in nature or sensitive in nature that we need to discuss offline.
00:54:27.510 --> 00:54:48.670
But what's so great about the group is the collective wisdom, the collective desire to feel good, to improve, to expand their impact on their schools, to also to like not take it all on themselves, like to lighten that load, to not feel alone.
00:54:48.670 --> 00:54:49.333
I think it's.
00:54:49.834 --> 00:55:10.028
I thought teaching was isolating because you're in your school, in your classroom, by yourself, but you have your colleagues, you have your grade level team or your department team, and then you get into admin and, for me 550 students, you know 27 teachers, you know about 70 staff members at my site and one admin on campus.
00:55:10.028 --> 00:55:15.070
That felt isolating and I was like, okay, we need, we need.
00:55:15.070 --> 00:55:22.561
There's got to be a place to go mingle and have some conversations and have a little bit of fun and actually just lighten up about it, laugh about it.
00:55:22.561 --> 00:55:28.750
Some of the stories you cannot make these up and you've got to be able to have a place where people understand you and they can laugh and have a good time.
00:55:28.750 --> 00:55:33.090
So EPC, the Empowered Principal Collaborative, is my group coaching program.
00:55:33.090 --> 00:55:38.871
So if you are interested in learning more number one, you can just listen to the podcast and kind of get to know me.
00:55:39.300 --> 00:55:40.703
The Empowered Principal Podcast.
00:55:40.703 --> 00:55:42.548
You can pick up the book audio.
00:55:42.548 --> 00:55:44.761
It's on Audible, it's on you know.
00:55:44.761 --> 00:55:46.245
You can buy the hard copy if you want.
00:55:46.245 --> 00:55:50.523
And then you can find me on my website, angelakelleycoachingcom.
00:55:50.523 --> 00:55:53.009
But the Empowered Principal is where I'm at.
00:55:53.009 --> 00:55:58.608
I hang out primarily on Facebook and Instagram, but you can also find me on LinkedIn.
00:55:58.608 --> 00:56:01.334
Reach out if you have any questions or concerns.
00:56:02.301 --> 00:56:07.031
You bet All right, Angela, it was really great to have you on the show today.
00:56:07.031 --> 00:56:40.374
You know it's fun to listen to just your journey as an educational leader and how you became the empowered principal you are today and I really appreciate the work you're doing because it's meaningful and it's, you know, something that we, as educational leaders, need and you know I hope today's podcast helped someone out there today get connected with you, to you know if they're really needing and searching for something to help them become a better educational leader.
00:56:40.374 --> 00:56:43.022
So thank you for being on the show today.
00:56:43.764 --> 00:57:04.586
It's so wild to be a guest on a show Like I have my own podcast and I spend my time being the interviewer, and so it was a blast to be here with you, jeff, and I'm excited to actually share this interview with my audience as well, for them to hear your story, but also I don't know that I've ever really shared my story to this depth.
00:57:04.586 --> 00:57:08.764
So it was really fun and just thank you for the privilege and the honor of being here today.
00:57:08.764 --> 00:57:09.927
I had a lot of fun.
00:57:10.829 --> 00:57:17.742
Awesome, thank you.
00:57:17.742 --> 00:57:19.085
I hope you guys enjoyed this episode with Angela Kelly.
00:57:19.105 --> 00:57:26.106
I am truly honored and grateful that she came on this podcast to share with you guys how to be an empowered principal.
00:57:26.106 --> 00:57:39.446
She gave you guys a lot of great insights on her own journey, which I very much appreciate, because we all have our journeys out there when it becomes a effective school leader.
00:57:39.446 --> 00:57:49.511
So, if you enjoyed this podcast, I would truly love it if you guys would subscribe or follow this podcast on your favorite podcast app.
00:57:49.511 --> 00:58:04.556
I would also love it if you leave a review, because when you leave reviews, you make the show more discoverable for other school leaders like you, so we can build this community of educational leaders together.
00:58:04.556 --> 00:58:18.329
If you would like to get in touch with Angela Kelly and learn more about the Angela Kelly coaching, I will drop her website in the show notes for you so you guys can reach out to her if that's something that you would like to do.
00:58:18.329 --> 00:58:21.340
Well, I hope you guys found value in this episode.
00:58:21.340 --> 00:58:27.814
It was a lot of fun doing it and until next time, always look to be 1% better.