ADHD Time Blindness: Why My Schedule Was....Optimistic

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Hi, and welcome to Dopamine in Doubt.
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I'm your host, Rachel, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in ADHD and OCD.
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On this show, I will be speaking from both my clinical and lived experience as we explore the surprisingly common crossover of ADHD and OCD.
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Because when we understand which is in the driver's seat, we are better able to know what we need in that moment.
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Whether you're living right at the intersection of both or navigate life with one of these neurotypes, you're welcome here.
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As always, please take what is helpful and leave what isn't.
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Neurodivergence shows up differently for everyone, and there is no one size fits all approach.
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Okay, let's dive in.
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Have you also ever looked at your schedule and thought, okay, I'll get groceries, answer emails, clean the kitchen, work out, return the package, meal prep, and go to the library before lunch.
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And then somehow it's noon and you scrolled on your phone and got gas.
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Today we're going to talk about time blindness.
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It is a difficulty in sensing time in the moment, and a difficulty in perceiving the passage of time and accurately estimating how long tasks will take.
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So I first wanted to lay out the different ways this can show up in our lives.
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So the impossible schedule, this can look like the overbooking trap.
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So the brain sees, oh, I have three hours.
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That's basically unlimited time.
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And the reality is you can't get to all of it.
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And if you try, you're going to be frantic the whole time and still probably not.
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So you don't finish everything and you're left frantic and stressed, trying to pack too much into your day.
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There's also the just one more thing syndrome.
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So our brain squeezes in a quick task.
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I'm just going to wipe the counter or unload the dishwasher right before leaving.
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The reality is what's called the accordion time delusion, which is where our brain assumes a 15-minute chore will take us only five minutes, leading directly to transition resistance.
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So squeezing in a task is often a subconscious excuse to delay the uncomfortable act of transitioning.
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So I have an appointment at two.
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It's 10:30.
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Then my brain says, Well, I guess I can't start anything.
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And you wander around the house aimlessly.
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When we have time blindness, we can also underestimate everything.
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So our brain says, How long do I need?
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Well, my shower will just take 10 minutes.
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But reality is the shower takes 10 minutes, finding your keys takes eight minutes, and actually leaving the house is another 10, and that you're late again.
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This next one is the one I I still struggle with the most.
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And that is perfect world scheduling.
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So the scenario is you build a great schedule on paper, but it only works if absolutely everything goes perfectly.
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And the reality is because you haven't built in buffer time, one small hiccup derails the entire day.
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Recently, I used Chat GBT to help me with this.
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So my little guy is going to be in school more often next year.
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And so I am going to pick up a little more work.
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And I had mapped out what that schedule could look like, including errands and swimming.
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So I thought I was doing great.
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And I put it in and it immediately reflected back to me that this was a great schedule, if nothing ever got in the way.
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And it made me realize no wonder I get so stressed because I'm trying to optimize my schedule in a way that doesn't account for my real life.
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I have a kid, he gets sick.
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And so if my calendar is assuming every task starts instantly and takes exactly the predicted amount of time, and there's zero transition, I spend my day feeling frantic and like I'm always behind.
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So why does this happen for us?
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We have difficulty with executive functioning and future time feels less concrete.
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We have difficulty estimating duration.
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And hyper focus can make time disappear.
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And we can fall into the planning trap.
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We're not trying to be unrealistic.
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We're genuinely optimistic about the day.
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So what actually helps?
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Not hacks, truthfully, adding transition time, 20 to 30% more than you think to everything is a great starting point.
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Doubling your first time estimate or even timing yourself doing common tasks or having fewer priorities, that one's really hard for me.
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A system that works for me, but truthfully does has not worked for all my clients.
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So don't think I'm saying this is the end all be all.
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But because our brain doesn't track time the way others do, traditional calendars and grids don't really work for me.
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So instead, I use a simple three bucket system to keep myself on track.
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So I have an app that I can divide.
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It's kind of like a notes app.
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Where's my phone?
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Oh gosh.
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Okay, I'll put it in the show notes.
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Um so I have a section that is for today.
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And every night I try to build a realistic short list of tasks for the next day.
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And when I wake up, my roadmap is already decided.
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So I don't feel overwhelmed.
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And then I have another entirely different tab so that I'm not looking at it at the same time as my bucket one today.
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And this bucket two is urgent to deuce.
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So this is for the things that need to happen soon, but don't strictly belong on today's schedule.
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This is when I look at the end of the week and see if that's something that needs to be moved over for that particular week.
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And then there's bucket three.
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This is the important but later section.
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Again, totally separate than the urgent to do.
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This is my brain dump.
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When I get a random idea or a future task pops into my head, I drop it here immediately so I don't lose it or get distracted by it.
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So as things come up, I just sort them into one of these three buckets based on when they actually need to happen.
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It keeps my day predictable and prevents me from overscheduling myself.
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It also helps me with that dreaded freeze response when I get overwhelmed by not knowing what to pick.
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When using the system, you can define your daily reasonable cap.
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So this would be picking a hard ceiling for your today list.
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Example, one major task and three minor.
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And then if you finish early, you can pull an item from the urgent list.
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And that's why I love this.
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There's also the evening transition.
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When you're setting up the next day, you can physically cross off what you finished.
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And if it didn't get completed, you can just roll it over to the next day.
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And then the weekly clearing.
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Set up a time for looking through the important but later list to make sure that they need to be there and that they don't get forgotten.
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Aside from this one major time strategy, I also teach people and use micro strategies.
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So this is doubling your initial estimate for a task, adding a 20 to 30% buffer.
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This cushions travel, preparation time, hidden delays like traffic or finding keys.
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You can time yourself doing routine tasks and stop the guessing.
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Use a stopwatch to time what you actually take to do an activity.
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You can use external visual timers, and you can protect the gap before leaving.
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So that 10 to 15 minutes before you leave that you want to do the one more task, just treat it as a non-negotiable buffer zone.
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Sit down, drink water, take a deep breath.
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So tomorrow morning, instead of asking yourself, what can I get done?
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Ask yourself, what can I realistically finish if every task takes a little longer than I think it will?
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This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and does not replace professional mental health care.
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If you are struggling, please reach out to a qualified mental health provider who can work with you directly.
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What I share here comes from my clinical experience and my own journey, but your situation is unique to you.
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If you are in crisis, please contact 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.
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Thanks for being here.