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If you've been here for a while with delightfully dysfunctional, now delightfully dharmic, you know that this has been a space that is all about embracing the messiness of being human with honesty, humor, and a dash of spirituality.
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I love weaving in parts of psychology and psychedelics into the messages and the conversations that I have.
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And over the last year or so, I realized that I actually needed to take some time and live those questions instead of constantly talking about them.
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I needed to dive deeper into life.
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So my husband's surgery really began this process of death and rebirth.
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Now, obviously, not actual death.
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I'm here in the flesh, I promise you.
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But it was a death of an identity, a death of a way of life, a death of a pace of life, and some ideas about who I thought I was supposed to be.
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And what I thought my life was supposed to look like.
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Maybe you've had moments like that in your life too.
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I didn't fully understand that I was changing until I gave myself enough time and spaciousness to really just be.
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In this last year, there has been so much that I have learned.
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When my husband Zach got hurt, it was a difficult experience for our family.
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And it was also an opportunity that forced us to slow down and to really reevaluate the pace of our life, the direction, what our family really needed?
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What kind of childhood do we want our kids to have?
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How much do we want to work?
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What are our passions?
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Where are we aligned and misaligned?
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Core principles of a dharmic life, of an aligned life.
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Where do we want to live?
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What do we want our days to feel like?
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What are we building all of this for?
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How do I want to feel when I wake up in the morning?
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How do I want to feel when my head hits the pillow at night?
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And eventually those conversations turned into decisions.
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And those decisions became moving to Spain.
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Which still feels a little bit surreal to say out loud.
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So yeah, a lot has happened.
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And I think that one of the reasons that it never felt right to turn the podcast on and pretend like nothing had changed after a year of us not getting to be in active relationship with one another.
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You delightful humans, was because I didn't want to pretend that I hadn't changed.
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I didn't want to pretend that as a human being I don't need my own ebb and flow.
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I don't need my own changing of the seasons.
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A pause before the bloom.
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And that pause took longer than I had initially thought.
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But honoring it has made all the difference.
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My family has changed.
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My priorities have changed.
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And honestly, I think this show needed to change with me.
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So this is a new beginning for Delightfully Darmic.
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And I'm really excited about it.
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You're still going to get conversations about mental health, relationships, trauma, psychedelics, spirituality, all of the things that we've explored here.
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But I want this space to be a little bit more alive, a little bit less polished, a little bit more like you're coming along on the journey with me.
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So I'm going to be sharing and vlogging some content about my family's transition, something I've never done before.
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This huge decision to move internationally to Spain.
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The highs, the lows, adjusting to a new culture, navigating family life, work, marriage, parenting, and trying to intentionally build a life that feels aligned with what we actually value.
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And I want to be real.
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I'm sure that we've romanticized parts of this life, and the reality will come.
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It isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but thus far we are a month into this move.
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I will say that it's better.
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It's better than where we were.
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I feel more energized and alive than I have in a really long time.
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Because I've never heard anyone say, you know what?
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Sold everything, packed up my life, and moved my family internationally, and it all went completely smoothly.
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That's not been our experience either, and I don't want to bullshit you.
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We're currently still waiting on our shipment of belongings to come, and we're not entirely sure when it'll get here.
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So you're gonna be witnessing and experiencing a, again, less polished version, but in exchange, you'll get more realness.
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Also, a significant portion of the equipment that is needed to do video reactions is not here.
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So at least for right now, the content on this channel is going to be shifting to be interviews and conversations and again like live and real moments with me and my family.
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So I really hope you join me and are curious about everything that goes into an international move to Spain.
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But I want you to know, for those of you that have been asking about video reactions and those sweet, delightful humans who have reached out, thank you, I see you, I hear you, it means so much.
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I'm alive, I'm well, and at some point when I get more energy back and all of the equipment is here, you will get those video reactions back on this channel as well.
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They're just temporarily being held hostage somewhere on the Atlantic between the United States and Spain.
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If you can manifest them closer, please do.
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And honestly, going forward, I want to give myself permission to make these videos when I actually have time and energy to make them.
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I don't want this channel to become another place where I feel like I am constantly trying to feed an algorithm or performatively be something that I'm not because that is not aligned and that is not authentic to who I am.
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I want it to be somewhere that I get to play and be curious.
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I want it to be somewhere that feeds my aliveness.
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And right now I'm really excited to be here.
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And there is one other really exciting change that's happening.
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I have invited my friend and colleague, Tanya Bodwin, to join me on the podcast.
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And oh, I cannot wait for you to meet her.
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Tanya and I have the kind of conversations where we can just start talking about therapy, and somehow we end up discussing marriage and motherhood, psychedelics, nervous system resets, generational trauma, existential crises, and laughing along the way.
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Whatever completely ridiculous thing might have happened this week or that we are experiencing in the moment, and we are so excited to share that with you.
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She is thoughtful, funny, grounded, deep, and brings a perspective that is different enough from mine that I think the conversations are going to be really interesting.
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And one of the things I've realized is that I don't want every conversation to feel like an interview.
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I want more authentic conversations, I want more curiosity, more disagreement at times, because that's real.
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More laughter.
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I want more moments of two people just being honest about trying to figure something out together and not presenting themselves as someone who has all of the answers.
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Because the reality is that therapists are people too, and we are on our own life journey figuring things out too.
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So I want to be real about that with you.
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Tanya and I will be recording our first episode very soon, and I'm so excited for you to get to know her.
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I think that the biggest lesson this past year has been that sometimes becoming the next version of yourself means letting go of the previous version and starting fresh.
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And I needed that quiet, I needed that space, I needed to live some life that wasn't being turned into content while I was still trying to understand what it meant to die and be reborn.
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But now I feel ready to come back.
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Not necessarily with a perfectly defined content strategy, not with a promise that I'm going to upload five times a week, and definitely not pretending that I have everything figured out, but with a lot of curiosity about what happens next.
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So if you've been here for a few years, thank you.
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Thank you for letting me disappear for a while.
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And if you're new here, welcome.
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There's apparently a lot of new things happening.
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This next chapter is going to include mental health, real life, psychedelics, spirituality, Spain, travel, family time, and probably a few existential crises.
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And hopefully a lot of delight.
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So welcome back to Delightfully Darmic.
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I'm really glad you're here.
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See you next time, Delightful Humans.