Where Does Attention Come From?

I have been super inspired by the works of G.I Gurdjieff’s brought to my attention by Cynthia Bourgeault’s Wisdom School and recent book, Mystical Courage. Alongside it, Brian O'Connor's Awareness Games: Playing with Your Mind to Create Joy deserves mention: several of its exercises radically shifted my perception and helped me understand the true seed of contemplation (pun intended, with a nod to Thomas Merton's Seeds of Contemplation). The inspiration is part of what birthed this Contemplative Currents substack.

For today, I’m pulling a very short exercise. To go deeper, I’d recommend listening to the audio version; I’ve paced it for ten minutes in total. If you have the time and space, wonderful. And please let me know how it lands when you try it.

One thing I’d say to anyone new to these practices: a consistent practice opens you to a clarity in which the mind gives way to seeing with the heart. That seeing is often described as non-dual. I hesitate to call it a state, though, since it is the ground from which every state of mind arises. I offer this as I offer myself— a taster!

I hope you enjoy this one.

* So let’s start with you reading this entire post once and then come back again. For this first round, do absolutely nothing deliberately. I know! Don’t meditate or regulate your breath or try to become peaceful. Just do absolutely nothing! Only thing I ask is to notice the room. Now, pay attention to how everything you see is appearing effortlessly. Sounds, sensations, even your thoughts…they just pop in and pop out! And the weird thing is you’re not manufacturing any part of these. It’s just happening like that! Stay there for a bit. Stay!

* Now find an actual object near you. Something simple that you can hold or at least see. Take a look at it and for the next copuple of minutes, don’t give it a name. If it’s a chair for instance, don’t see it as a chair. See its color, its shape, its texture, its light. Then with a slight internal tilt, I want you to imagine what it is before you knew what it is. If you never knew it was a chair(if the object is a chair), what would it be? See it for the first time. But don’t overanalyze and don’t actually come to a final answer.

* Now if you can, close your eyes. Yes, I know, how can you read this with your eyes closed? Well, maybe listen to the audio :P Okay, close your eyes, listen for the most distant sound you can hear. Then now to the nearest. Then notice your breathing. Then your body. Then your thought. Now notice this amazing discovery: the distant sound, the breath, your body, your thought all appear in the same place. In an actual experience. Now, I want you to notice, “Where exactly is the boundary between me and what is appearing?” Okay, don’t philosophize. Just notice.

* Now, you can open your eyes. I want us to perform another tiny experiment. Notice you are here. Right? Listen to the words ‘I am here’. Remove ‘here’. That remains “I am”. Hold it! Now remove “am”. Don’t replace it with another word. Stay here for a bit.

* Now, we are halfway done. Let’s take it another angle. Notice how you thought I was creating an experience for you. Notice again how I have produced no experience whatsoever. I supplied words. Your mind produced expectations, your body produced sensations. The room supplied the sounds, your memory somehow choked up meanings, your attention selected objects. And all of these happened without your consent. It then seems there has been a PRESENTNESS that existed before the outline of experience. What is that, that is present? Sit with it.

* Now we will change directions completely. If you can, stand up. Come on! Just do it! Yes, I know you are still wondering if I’m talking to you. Yes, you! Stand up! :) For the next minute, become unreasonable. Shake your arms, move your hsoulders, dance really badly, make one ridiculous facial expression. See, I know you’re reading this alone so do it! And if someone is there, I guess this is where they will begin to question your sanity. But do it! SERIOUSLY!

* Now, stop. Feel what remains in the body. Notice your heart rate, your breathing, the warmth, the tingling, whatever is present. Now, if you can, say this out “This is what being alive feels like right now.” Not what life should feel like. This! Yes, this this.

* NOw, feel free to sit down. There is something else I want you to notice. You may have spent years asking profound questions. Yes, I know. If you read this, you have asked these questions or questions around these topics: Awareness. Suffering. God. Self. Wholeness. Love. Surrender. For the next minute, abandon every one of them. Ask instead: “What question is my life asking me right now?” Do not search for any type of impressive answer. Just stay noticing the noticing. If something comes, fine. If nothing, fine.

* Now let’s add an interesting part. This one is imaginative but please indulge. Think of yourself at ten years old. Do not analyze. THis is a light imaginative exercise. Let the ‘you’ at 10 years old stand in front of you. At this point, he(I will use this pronoun for now) doesn’t know your career, accomplishments, disappointments, what you’ve worked with or what worked out. He only knows he became you. Look at him/her. Then tell him one thing you learned about being alive that nobody had taught him yet. Say it out loud. Give him the answer you wish someone had given you. Wait with him in this.

* Now, let the child disappear. Let the questions you had disappear and look around your room again. Nothing spectacular needs to happen.

Here is the surprising part about this exercise that you can pay subtle attention to. You exercised the pulling and directing of sight, hearing, feeling, imagination, thought and its interpretative utility. Notice in all of this, that attention moved into the object being directed. Where does attention come from?

Well, welcome back from the silence, Seye.

I have not been writing as frequently as I thought I would. At this time, Life has called me to be more present with other things. But if you’re new here, Contemplative Currents is to be a free (bi-weekly) newsletter that aims to shed light into our daily experiences as opportunities for contemplation of this glorious Mystery. If you’d like to support my work, please consider subscribing and/or sharing this free Substack. If you’re looking to monetarily support, buying my book, This Glorious Dance: Thoughts & Contemplations About Who We Are, is enough. I’m grateful for your support in whatever capacity.

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