Acercate A Dios: Hola Hola and welcome to Acercate a Dios and Stay Pretty where we're all about exploring the journey of getting close to God and embracing our inner beauty. I am Angelica hanging out with my friend Josie and together we're gonna dive into what it means to connect with God, our faith, and feel beautiful in our own skin. Toma tu un cafecito with us for honest conversations on living our Catholic faith, the struggle, and finding that pretty glow. that's unique to every woman. Vamos a acercarnos a él and stay pretty together. Bienvenidos a todos.
Angelica: everyone, welcome back to this new episode, still season three, and we're so excited that you're here with us today. Again, my name is Angelica and I'm with my friend Josie. How you doing today, Josie?
Jossie: I am so good. It is a good day. It's a good day. It's a new day.
Angelica: Yeah, it's a wonderful day. And girl, let me tell you, there's some hot brewing tea that we have today. Some
Jossie: Ben, Ben, sit down here and me everything. Everything, everything.
Angelica: And that is exactly what we're going to talk about. Chisme. Are you down for the chisme talk?
Jossie: I'm like excited. you know what? How many messages don't you get that start like that? How many text messages, right? Like, girl.
Angelica: Yeah, girl, you won't believe this. How many messages do I send like that? ⁓ my goodness. If you only knew, girl, that remind me to tell you. ⁓ my goodness. Yeah. So this episode, we're going to talk about spilling the beans and why el chisme is not good for the soul. And we're going to talk all things chisme today, including what we engage in that we do as well.
Jossie: Yeah Yeah Yeah. mean, listen, we are sinners. We have said that we're on a journey here. The goal is heaven, right? Pero the reality is que estas son las cosas that nurture the soul in a bad way. And that we're still working on, right? These are those things that I think a lot of people are still working on. And sometimes you feel like you went 65 steps ahead, but then this brings us back down so much.
Angelica: Yes.
Jossie: because it's so good. It's so good. love.
Angelica: Right. Yeah. And we don't even know what it's doing. Like, we don't even know that it's harmful sometimes. we know what chisme is. Like, know, yeah, el chisme es malo, spreading rumors is bad. But I think a lot of the times we don't know when we are chismeando. Like, no sabemos cuando estamos chismeando. ⁓
Jossie: Right, because we're justifying it. But anyway, for our listeners that don't know what el chisme is, ⁓ can you tell us what chisme is, Angelica?
Angelica: Yeah, so chisme, so in English, rumors, gossiping, ⁓ just talking about people, right? So we like, I googled what chisme meant, like meant the definition. And originally it comes from like some, I guess related to like Latin context of bugs. So that like whispering and I guess being around the bush and hiding. ⁓ And then it being so prevalent in Latin communities, which is crazy to me, but it's not. I guess it's not surprising, but it's funny to know that it is very much tied to Latin communities, the chisme. So this is very common amongst us. Do you consider yourself a chismosa?
Jossie: ⁓ I have a group chat called the Chisme group chat. ⁓ And know what? And I justify the group chat because yeah, ⁓ mean, amongst Chisme part of the group chat, we also talk about like day to day life and whatever. And so I justify it as like, this is our way of connecting with each other. This is our daily dose. Like this is...
Angelica: ⁓ my no you don't!
Jossie: This is how we stay in touch. Like if you put it in the chisme chat, like you're good. We're connected. So yeah, desafortunadamente, yes, I'm a chismosa. But not in that way. Like, but no, I'm not a chismosa in the sense that I am like, well, this is how I think, but I could be that way, right? Perspective. I think I'm not a chismosa where I'm going around intentionally spreading rumors of people. So therefore I'm not. But I mean, will talk about, I will send a text message about that drama that happened between that famous couple listen, that big famous lawsuit with the blonde actress and the man that's going on, girl, I'm there.
Angelica: from that movie.
Jossie: Yes, from that movie, right? Like I'm listening to the podcast and watching. I'm, ⁓ I, ⁓ yes. So I like the cheese, I el in ese sentido. Cause I'm, I, I'm being informed. I'm, ⁓ I'm getting information. I'm like up on the news. Ask about it. I'll tell you. ⁓
Angelica: Great. Yeah. Right. I guess like where do we draw the line? Like is it informative, especially like public figures? Because I honestly have never considered myself a chismosa, but I realized that I do fit the categories, like the requirements. And like my husband and I, we have this thing called chisme time, you know? And we just like joke around each other like chisme time. And it's like something that happened at work with him or
Jossie: Yeah.
Angelica: something about him so it's not necessarily instinctively like bad or evil we're not saying something bad about someone just more about what happened to him during the day about something right but
Jossie: Let me interrupt you right there. Are you an angel that couple you know? Have you ever seen like the reels where they're like when your girlfriend tells you something she says don't tell anybody else and you don't tell anybody else but Yes, exactly. Yo legit the same way like I can talk to Fran about anything and everything and he has a good perspective, but yeah
Angelica: ⁓ my goodness, yes, but my husband. I don't want to put myself out there, my friends and family who have told me don't tell nobody else. If I tell you, if it comes out of my mouth, I won't tell nobody else, then I won't. I promise that I am truthful to that. But when you're telling me something and you've never like, como que no me afirmaste que era in between you and Dai, I won't share with nobody else. But Angel and Dai are one now. So the pillow talk later in the day might be a thing for us. But
Jossie: Yeah.
Angelica: No, if somebody tells me don't say nothing, I won't share it. But if they don't tell me that, you know, if they don't include that in our conversation, then Angel will know. Yeah, right.
Jossie: They don't make you sign an NDA. NDA necessary.
Angelica: right and you know what's funny now they say that honestly i think they just like they're just not like i don't know maybe they're not as loud about it but
Jossie: I mean, yeah. No, but okay, my theory is que si son chismosos, but they're chismosos with you. Like, Fran is chismoso with me. he'll, and by chismoso, I'll just say like, he'll give me his opinion, he'll give me his two cents, you know, and he'll say X, Y, Z or whatever, but he won't do it with another dude. Like, he won't, he won't, even with his, even with his best friends, like, he won't talk like that about that because they don't talk about those kinds of things, right? Pero con nosotras,
Angelica: with yeah yeah yeah i agree yeah Yes. Right. Yeah, right. I agree. Yeah, then they'll tell you. Yeah, I've told my husband several times. I'm like, do your friends know you're like this? Like, do they even know this version of you? Like, this is this is my version. I'm cool with it, though, you know, like the very open. But yeah, I think definitely guys are much more reserved around other guys like that bro code or whatever. don't know. But.
Jossie: But I mean, that should be in a en cuesta. We should totally do that. Is your boyfriend chismoso? Is your brother chismoso? Who's more chismoso? You or your boyfriend? Curious. Yeah. We should do that.
Angelica: Yeah. Yeah. Good. Yeah. So, so this cheesemith thing being like, it's kind of weird that we use cheesemith to like interact socially, right? Like, we're, it's kind of also like a safe zone. Like if you don't know anyone, if you don't know somebody, or maybe you do know somebody and you don't know them well, you're not comfortable with them. Maybe your mother-in-law, maybe... ⁓ a friend, a new friend or whatever, you might look for chisme about somebody else as a way to relate to each other, which is kind of crazy to think about it like that.
Jossie: Right. What does that say about society is we are so hungry. ⁓ You ⁓ know, ⁓ as like as a as population. ⁓ But I mean, ⁓ culturally. ⁓
Angelica: Yeah.
Jossie: like in the Hispanic culture, in the Latino culture, like, you're right, that brings families together.
Angelica: Right. And it does. That's part of it. Unfortunately, it does. Because I've definitely have found myself, I guess, looking to that as a way to relate to somebody, even if it is about... Honestly, I could think about it right now. I was with family yesterday and at least four times I brought up something that's happening, public, celebrities and stuff, but just as a way to kind of kill the... the silence, right? And so how many times do we do that? Like, I relate to somebody with somebody else's business. ⁓ But I think the point of this episode is to talk about how this is not good, right? How chisme is not good and how it is a form of ⁓ injury to someone else, even if they don't even know that you're doing this, right? Even if they don't know you're talking about them, it's still unjust.
Jossie: Yeah. ⁓ Yeah.
Angelica: to talk about somebody else. So yeah.
Jossie: So why do you think we like it so much if it's so bad for our soul?
Angelica: Yeah, maybe it's just within us. Like we're just broken. I don't know, maybe. Like I like to think I like to think that because I honestly don't think I do. Like when I hear somebody of somebody like hurting, even if it's who I don't know very much or I've heard rumors about or I have a certain prejudice.
Jossie: Mm-hmm.
Angelica: like I wouldn't get happy, but yeah, I don't know. I don't know why we are so willing to share other people's business, especially things that are not necessarily good because why don't we share the good? Like, oh my gosh, do you know who just graduated? Girl, I got some tea for you. Guess who just got married and had a beautiful baby girl?
Jossie: Did you see what she wore?
Angelica: Like, yeah, we do that, but it's usually from a negative standpoint. Like, you know, do you see what she, do you know who just broke up? Do you know that who just got pregnant and they're single, you know? So we often do it in a negative sense. We never come at it from a positive ⁓ perspective of like, look at what this person achieves. And maybe if they do, oftentimes I see it as a, like, I don't know, like there's a negative.
Jossie: perspective.
Angelica: Addition to the positive thing that happened ⁓ Like how could she you know, or how does she get that job, you know or whatever like so it's yeah don't know. I don't know why we do it or why we like it but I think it's something within us and human nature to be broken
Jossie: Yeah, and I think like that's one of the most powerful tools that we have as women is our mouth, nuestra lingua, and the words that come out of our mouth. Our words are powerful and I sometimes even I get taken aback by like when I say something and I don't realize that they are taking me at my word and how important they're taking it and I'm like, whoa.
Angelica: Mm-hmm. ⁓
Jossie: My words have power ⁓ and I am just and I'm treating it lightly. Like I'm not being respectful of it. I'm not being responsible. ⁓ And I mean, honestly, that's how I feel with the podcast too. Like we, ⁓ I feel like we have a responsibility to what it is that we say. And why can't I feel like that about everything that comes out of my mouth? Why is it only here in this moment? You know, that's hard. It's it's but it's a realization and like when I go into the confessional It's not the top sin that comes to mind. I mean like if I've had a hard week and girl I said 16 things or two then then it comes up but like not the everyday like the the the everyday Observations or the everyday critiques because it's a bit of a cheese man las criticas the the dia dia porque I'm one of las cosas que I'm like a negative Nancy. I always think the worst. Yes, I'm the worst case scenario. I'm the devil's advocate. I'm a negative Nancy. I think that people do it because they have malice and they have ill intentions and not because they're doing it for the best. So we have our mutual friend. ⁓ I throw the situation at him and then he thinks and he said, But they did it because they care. They did it out of love. And he's like, siempre, always, le musque el lado amable. And I'm like, and I hate that because I'm like, yo, you just bursted my bubble. But he's right. Did they do it with malice? And the answer, 90 % of the time is no. It wasn't done with malice. wasn't done. So I think it's perspective también. We have to shift that mentality. Comodidad de Hicida, let's celebrate.
Angelica: You Right. ⁓
Jossie: people. ⁓ Let's spread the good news, Yeah.
Angelica: Right, and I think you said something important, is ⁓ like what I hear you saying, like, basically what I thought of was lack of purpose. think when we don't realize our purpose to the full potential that it is, we may look at to gossip as a way to. ⁓ lidiar, right? Like as a sinful nature. But I think when we're more focused on our own things and our own doings in terms of our relationship with God, you're not going to have enough time to even gossip. And I think that's something that I need to work on. ⁓ I really don't consider myself a chismosa, but I do see that I am. You know, it's like a realization of like, wait, like, yeah, I'm not spreading gossip. I'm not talking about people, but yet I am engaging in conversation.
Jossie: Yeah. And like, to be honest, I would think that this is so I think of
Angelica: or entertaining conversation that, ⁓ so even though I didn't bring it up, I'm entertaining it, is what I'm trying to say. And that just is bad, right?
Jossie: I think of a coworker that we had, that we have, I currently have but we have together. I'm thinking of a coworker that we had. ⁓ And she, every time that she would hear, like when people would go to her and present a situation, and she would hear, like she would say, are you going to talk bad about somebody? What you're gonna say, is it going to be good for me? And if it's not, I don't wanna engage in it. And I remember thinking like, that's rude. That's hella rude. Like, yes, you know, like, like, because you're coming with a situation that's frustrating you. So you want the other person to be frustrated with you as well with the person, about the person that's frustrating you. And, ⁓ and then when they're not, and when they're checking you, hasta cae mal. Like, you know, but yeah, that's.
Angelica: Yeah. And that's so it's like the again, it's that really looking for that to relate, right? Because you're looking by sharing this about the other person you're looking to relate and you're looking for somebody to relate with you. ⁓ And then it makes me think like, how many times do we mess up or skew our judgment, our perception on somebody based on some ⁓ of something we've heard? So
Jossie: Mm-hmm.
Angelica: For example, I mean, I'm a mucho and I do have it in my Angelica rule book. Like whenever somebody tells me like, don't talk to that person or don't hang out with that person, this person is blank, you know, negative connotation. It's usually always wrong for me, for me, because I get to know that person and I'm like, wait, like you're not that for me. You could be like that for somebody else. I don't know. I don't know. But.
Jossie: And. ⁓ Right.
Angelica: I don't have the same judgment. So often time I have found myself with people,
Jossie: saw it with you. I definitely saw it with you. ⁓ And again, this is I am a Chizmosa because I went to you, you had started with us and I knew that you were going to work with this person, And I remember going to you and saying to you, ⁓ watch out. She's X, Y, and Z. She's great in these ways, but she's X, Y, and Z this way because of what we had experienced with her previously. And you said very graciously, and I do, I have two situations. Yes, yes. I have two situations. You said very graciously, thank you so much for telling me. Thank you very much. ⁓ I'm very excited to work with her and I'm going to see what that relationship, how that relationship evolves. And I was like, okay, whatever. Like, whatever.
Angelica: Did I? Did I? Did I really? I did not remember this.
Jossie: Okay, yeah. And I'm like, all right, like, Angelica totally, like, blew me off, whatever. I'm like, she's gonna come back, llorando, vas a ver. But ⁓ I never heard you complain about her. ⁓ We all have other complaints, but I never heard you. So I think that I think you can, I wanna hear your perspective now.
Angelica: So funny. Yeah, no, it's so funny. I don't remember this. I don't remember you telling me. I do know many people have told me though. And from my experiences, I also learned the kind of person that she should be paired with because of her personality.
Jossie: Yeah. I think you're the only one that came out to be smart like that.
Angelica: I don't know. I don't know if it's smart. was just like, I don't want this to happen again. Like it's embarrassing like to us as a team. But I just felt that, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why, but like I never experienced that. If anything, I think she's so sweet and she's so caring, but it doesn't mean that. Right.
Jossie: And she means well, and she's got the biggest heart in the entire world. But again, we all have our faults. Yeah.
Angelica: We all have our faults, right? And that's what I mean. Like it doesn't mean that we need to be blind because like I said earlier, like we should be able to judge someone based on their character, right? Based on who they portrayed to be because how else do we have the sermon on certain things, right? So I do agree. But for example, for me, like I would always ask, ⁓ mi jefe, I would always ask to be paired with her. because I'm okay with her. Like it does not bother me. And that has happened so many times with other people. sorry.
Jossie: have the sweetest personality. You're just so calm. I see things, I panic.
Angelica: ⁓ gosh no. ⁓
Jossie: I mean, I panic internally, but I like you and I can be harsh and like you are not harsh when you are so kind. You're so great. No, no, but you are. You're so gracious. Like when you're so you're so gentle, you're gentle. And I think that that's why you can deal with difficult personalities. Right. And
Angelica: No, no, I... I can't... No, I'm ⁓ But it's not that I could deal with it. It's also that I crave it. It's a weird, yeah, I told my mom that too. And she's like, yeah, I don't know. Because we talked about it, like, used to work at the bank. And whenever there was a difficult customers, I'm talking about difficult as in either racist or extremely rude, extremely impatient.
Jossie: That's so weird.
Angelica: the girls and I, and you know, they will look at me like, are you going to take it? And I'm like, yeah. Or sometimes I would know, like I have faces and green in my head of these customers that were not so nice. And they will stand in line. And from afar, I'll be like, Hey, like I got them. And I'm telling you, no, I wanted to challenge myself because just just say can we even get a card of the means come on, get salads or whatever. He, he may pass out. Like I'm not saying it was.
Jossie: you No.
Angelica: enjoy like I didn't enjoy it but I did crave it like to challenge myself that way because I was told so many things and my face would get red like I wanted to cry sometimes like legit cry and hide but something about not responding I don't know this is so weird to admit to to another person I told my mom and she was shocked but it felt good about not speaking up I don't know It's so weird. I wanted to inside of me, my natural response would have been like to say something mean back to the person that just cursed me out or cursed back, I don't know. But I felt so much peace holding it in, even though I was like about to die. And my mom was like, girl, you can't do that. ⁓ You can't hold it in. And I'm like, I don't know, mom, it felt good. I don't know why I'm like this. But my point is that
Jossie: Yeah. Right, of course.
Angelica: I don't like to, I really like to challenge myself with people. And I have come to believe that most of the time when you hear something about somebody, it's not, it's not the same idea. And Nadia is, nobody's a villain in their own story. So who like, yeah.
Jossie: You're gonna get the best version right? Yeah, and that's what they say there are two sides to every story, which there are there are two sides to every story. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Angelica: or even three, like there's your side, my side, and then there's an actual truth, maybe something in the middle or something that we're both, you know, maybe missing. But yeah, something you said too was like our tongues, right? The way we speak. And that reminds me of a verse. So one of the verses here that we have comes from James chapter three, verse five to six. And it says the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boast.
Jossie: Right, the damage that happens when a false rumor is spread or when reputations are damaged because of it.
Angelica: It is a fire, a world of evil. And that's so powerful to think about. Like it is a small part of the body, but look at everything. Look at all the damage that it can cause by using our tongues, like the way we use our tongues, but we say what comes out of our mouth.
Jossie: or opportunities are lost. Like, esos son las consecuencias of un chisme, un chisme mal spread. And I think when you think of like, ⁓ am I chismosa? I don't do that, so therefore I'm not. But then it's like the critique that goes into it, right? ⁓ Yeah. Did you ever, ⁓ did you ever think, that some of the gossip that goes on in schools and reputations that are being ruined by kids, like, did you, did you ever see that thing where it's a drawing of a, a child and he's spewing mean things to another child, but there is a long tongue that connects to the mom. And so,
Angelica: Yeah, yeah, I've seen that.
Jossie: And so then that's what certain kids are living in schools or teens are living in schools. They're being destroyed by chisme. They're being destroyed by chisme that's happening on social media by all of these, like the fake news that is being posted. how many kids are not falling into depression because of it? ⁓ ⁓ much responsibility do we have as parents through it, right?
Angelica: And it's true, I think our kids are gonna mimic what we do, right? What we say, how we treat people, how we talk about people. I think that's common and now like you said, like social media, think about ⁓ like, you're gonna get like 300 perspectives now, some 300 twists. like just like playing telephone, we play telephone when we're little, you know how you start off with what you're supposed to say and it ends up being something completely different or a distortion of what originally was stated.
Jossie: you
Angelica: My point is that we make it so easy to spread things that we don't know. Things that we don't even know are not true. So we're not certain we should be careful about spreading those.
Jossie: Yeah. Right. And can we talk for a minute about, este, como se llama el, What's called? ⁓
Angelica: Right.
Jossie: like a positive perspective from like ⁓ a good intention like I'm just I'm just telling you this because I need because we need to pray like we like we need prayers for them because X Y and Z and then here's the cheese may right so where's the intentionality like and I think with intentionality also comes charity
Angelica: no.
Jossie: I think the intention behind ⁓ it is important. And I think that's a self-check. If there's anything that can do, ⁓ is check ⁓ How do we check ourselves? By ⁓ ye. talking about our intentionality, you know, like, did they do it with malice? 90 % of the time they didn't.
Angelica: you Yeah, I agree. Right. And I think most of the time, maybe most of the time, people don't ⁓ do things with malice. think it's just, I don't know, people are like kind of ⁓ disoriented, like in their own worlds doing things. But I do think we should be intentional when it comes to chisme, especially ⁓ because we really don't know. That's the sad thing is that we don't know somebody's intention either. So I don't know. This is a I just thought of a saint. don't know if you have heard of the saints. his is Saint Vitalis of Gaza. ⁓ And I will mess up his story, but ⁓ as I've heard that he a monk or like a really good priest his community, ⁓ and he would actually visit prostitutes and ⁓ pray for them, give them money, them food, take care of them. However, in his town, ⁓ Un chisme was spread about him that he was visiting prostitutes. So the people in the community murdered him because they saw that, you know, they believed him to be. ⁓ engaging with prostitutes. And so at his funeral, it is believed that, as a story I've heard, is that it was filled with homeless people and prostitutes. They told the people there that he was actually taking care of them for many years and helping them for many years. So it's just sad to see how cheesemus spreads. But I do think we need to be conscious as well. What actions are we doing that may, what can people misinterpret in our actions?
Jossie: Right. ⁓
Angelica: well. So I think that's important to acknowledge. But yeah, this piece was
Jossie: Yeah, like my mom always said, hagas cosas buenas que parezcan malas. Right? Yeah. Yeah, but still, man, he was doing good.
Angelica: Uh-huh, asimismo. I know he's a saint. So one of the things about Gossip that the Catechism tells us, so the Catechism 20485 says,
Jossie: Wait, what's the catechism, Angelica, for affirms that might not know what the catechism is?
Angelica: So the Catechism, it's a book that has all of the Catholic teachings. So it's basically the Bible explained, okay? Like in a very... more than the Bible, the traditions as well. Traditions, all of the pillars of our faith are explained in the catechism as a way for us to make it easier. And it goes through so many things. So this is why it's important because maybe some things won't be covered in the Bible, but the catechism might have something about it. A deeper dive of our faith, yeah.
Jossie: Right, it does like a deeper dive of like everything, yeah. It just so happens that it has a little thing or two about Chi Sme.
Angelica: right and it does tell about everything like it's every single time my mom has a question i'm like have you looked at the catechism yet because i'm sure they got something and it's so one of the things there was and there's a few there's a few things we only grabbed like one or two ⁓ but one of things that i found was ⁓ 24 85 i'm not sure if that's the one the same one you had josey but ⁓ no okay
Jossie: No, mine was $24.97, but yeah.
Angelica: So the one that I found says that lies and gossip destroy trust. So by its very nature, lying is to be condemned. It is failure and justice and charity. And I read this and I thought about charity. Como es? How do you say that? Are we being charitable? Yeah, but are we being charitable with people when we speak about them? Are we giving them the benefit of the doubt? Like, gossip oftentimes includes exaggerating something. It includes twisting the story or even leaving out a detail intentionally or not intentional, which messes up the whole story, right?
Jossie: Mm-hmm.
Angelica: And so all of that is ⁓ included in lying. So when we talk about somebody, were we even there? Like when somebody tells us a and now we spread it. ⁓ do you know that Fulanita is dating Jose and Jose now has another girlfriend? Did we see it happen? Do we know this for sure? What if that's the sister? What if that's Jose's sister? Poor Jose, they're calling him a womanizer.
Jossie: Yeah, great. Oh, for ejemplo, no has visto las, the thing on social media that is like, you know, like, I'm not cheese mosa, but. I want to know why you were sharing pictures with that boy and all of a sudden he's gone from your profile. Right? Or when they say like, please pray for so and so, but they don't tell us why. What happened? What did she do? le paso? Like tell us. Or when the kids run away, you didn't tell us that they came back. What happened?
Angelica: Right. Yeah. Why did they run away? Right. And I guess that goes back to your initial question of why do we do this? I think maybe as human beings, we're just very curious creatures and we need to know, we need to find the answer to things. And maybe that's the point. We need to learn to live in peace, even when we don't know the answers to things. think. Right. I'm going take that for myself. ⁓
Jossie: Mind your business. ⁓
Angelica: You don't need to know why that kid went missing that day. Where did he go to? You don't need to know. Why do you need to know? And I think that's been part of my problems too is I'm always trying to find answers to things. I'm like, okay, why did this happen? I don't need to know that. I don't need to know that.
Jossie: And it's so funny because we are curious. Why can't we be curious about God? Like, eso da flojera, right? Eso da flojera to like open your Bible, open your catechism. Like, let me be curious about this. But I do have to say, if somebody asks me a question, or if I'm like, is that even canonically correct? Let me prove it wrong. Then I go to... ⁓
Angelica: Right? Right? Spread, spread God's Right.
Jossie: canon law, all my Bible, then because I'm trying to prove something wrong, not because I'm trying to grow in relationship with Christ. Like, dang, it's almost a sea.
Angelica: Right. that. right i know i mean we're broken but i think this is it like this is this is this is the key let's be chimosa about christ let's be christ let's put his chism like let's talk about the gospel can we be chismos about the gospel let's give it to everybody right let spread the good news it should be like germs it reminds me of ⁓ dan ⁓ so it reminds me of someone
Jossie: next. Let's spread the good news.
Angelica: my old boss, so he used to talk about methods in youth ministry, like all the components of youth ministry and ⁓ describing them with the seven dwarfs and ⁓ Snow White. One of them, evangelization, was sneezy, you know, the one that's always sneezing and sick, is like because we should be sneezing on everybody. We should be spreading the germs of the good news to everybody and that's how it should be. So why can we spread the good news like we do about lo que esta pasando in your neighborhood? Like let's spread the good news about God.
Jossie: Right. Right. Like, like when you see when that episode drops and you get the bell because there's been an update on what happened on the trial and you want to know what happened? Yeah, dang, you're right.
Angelica: Thank Yes. And also like when was the last time we told somebody that Jesus loves you? When was the last time we told somebody Jesus loves
Jossie: Because we sound crazy Angelica. How am going to be like, oh hey by the way Jesus loves you. Actually you know what, no. I am going to say so. It's not chisme. It's I'm informing you. No, no, no, es cierto. Okay. My goddaughter who I love so very much, somebody sent her a friend request and she texted me about it and I said, she said why the heck would this person friend me? I'm paraphrasing. And I said to her, that's probably my fault because we were talking about you. And I said something like, no, she doesn't hate you. And then this friend request shows up and she said, why would you say that? And so my response to her was because you are such a beautiful person and you have such a beautiful soul that you're not capable of hating someone to that capacity. You don't have that in your heart. And then she said, she was like, you saw the little dots?
Angelica: Wow.
Jossie: bubbles come up and then they disappeared and then they came back up again and she said, dang, you got me on that one. And it was like, maybe I didn't tell her that Jesus loves her, but I think I helped her to realize that yeah, she doesn't have the capacity to hate in her heart for this person who I know she doesn't hate. yeah. But I just told you her story.
Angelica: Yeah. Right, so you didn't tell her that Jesus loves her directly, but you implied it in your message, right?
Jossie: Right.
Angelica: And I think that's just it. Like if we can't directly tell somebody, can we at least behave like the way we treat other people, the way we talk about other people. ⁓ And that's just something for us to remember. Like, I don't think it's like, no, you can't talk about anyone. No, don't think that's it because obviously like we need information to know things. We need to make the sermons. We need to discern about the way we're going to treat somebody, the way somebody is and stuff. is in human nature but I think it's understanding that we truly don't know what happened and us spreading something that we know nothing about is not going to add any good to it. ⁓ But yeah so yeah.
Jossie: Yeah, I mean that's it's it's hard I think those are you know, I I talked to I talked to our friend about you know, getting trying to get to heaven And I say to him, the struggle is real. And he's like, what struggle? That's why you have to work on your willpower. He's like, it shouldn't be that hard if we're living in grace. Yes, but this is that part. This is because it's so small and it's so minimal because you justify it in so many ways, but it's such part of your everyday life. Like when you're hitting up that girlfriend to check on her, to see how she's doing because you know that she needs to let it out. You really don't care about it, but you know she needs to let it out. And she needs a place to release. Is that sinful? Is it sinful on my part or is it... Or am I being a good person? Am I justifying it right now?
Angelica: Right. Right. No, I don't know. I don't think so. I think we have friendships, we have relationships, and we seek each other's counsel. I seek you to give me advice and So obviously, part of that, like I said earlier, nobody is the evil person. So if I come to you with a problem, most likely it's going to have an antagonist in my story that
Jossie: is you
Angelica: is unfortunate, whether that poor person is really bad or not, is part of my story and they're the bad one in my story, right? So when I come to you, I come to you with the details of what is my reality, but I think us being like Christian women, we have to really discern what is my advice back to you, you know? It can't be something that's... ⁓ evil towards that person that's going to create more evil, but it also can't be something that is ⁓ too easy where if that person is suffering from in the hands of the other individual that's gonna make it worse either so this is where we discern and we come to God and we ask God to give us the right way the grace is necessary to be able to give good counsel and I think that was hard because how do you know if how do know who's right like have you like as a child ever see your mom and your dad fighting and you're like wait but like I don't know whose side I'm on because you guys both sound pretty much the same
Jossie: Right. Right.
Angelica: You know, so I think it's praying about that. how can like my friend needs to share her feelings and I'm there for her. But then do you guard it in your heart and do you give it even to God? you that deal el chisme a Dios, el lo sabe ya. But are you doing that or are you going to go now tell somebody else, even if it's husband, my angel, a pillow talk like that's not.
Jossie: Right. Mm-hmm.
Angelica: That's not cool either.
Jossie: we've a lot about ⁓ the impacts of chisme and gossip and ⁓ spreading the and spreading the message in the news. touched upon a couple of ways where we can be better ⁓ at ⁓ when ⁓ the chisme comes to us and we to spread the chisme. ⁓ So we're just gonna close with ⁓ a small little prayer. ⁓ And then we're going to go into our acerqueta challenge and our stay pretty tip. So if we can just place ourselves in His presence in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Dear Heavenly Father, I ask for your help in resisting the temptation to chisme. When conversation turns towards gossip, please give me the wisdom and courage to redirect the conversation and remove myself from la situacion. Help me to be positive influence and to speak words that build up and encourage others. I pray for those who have been hurt by gossip, bring healing to their hearts and restore their reputations. Help them to forgive those who have wronged and to find strength and comfort in you. May my words always reflect your love and grace in your holy name. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Okay. So since we, Angelica, you did such a good job of like telling us what, of like helping us to remember and kind of redirect whenever somebody comes to us and in that little prayer, like, if we can be encouraged to walk away to redirect the conversation. Our acércate challenge for this week is ask yourself before you speak. I don't know about you, but like that's so hard for me. It's so hard for me to even pause before I speak. Ahora imagina asking myself before I speak. So ask yourself before you speak. When you hear something, when somebody comes to you and you are ready to spill the beans, ask yourself, is it true? Is it necessary? Is it charitable? And then learn how to practice silence, learn how to practice discretion, focus la conversación hacia lo positivo o lo constructivo, y si ya participaste, busca to repair this with humility. So if you've already participated in Spilling the Beans, try to be humble about it. I think humility is one of the things that we didn't talk about.
Angelica: it made me think of this. Like, Jesus chose the thief to be the treasurer. Like, Jesus knew, I mean, in his divinity, he knew who Judas was, right? He was potentially, eventually going to trade...
Jossie: .
Angelica: ⁓ betray him, ⁓ that he was a thief and yet he chose him to be the treasurer. So I think this is a call, a notion to us to realize that we can't judge someone based on their mistakes or even other things that we've heard of them because one, it may not be true. In Judah's case, it was. But even when we hear something like this, like even when we know something, ⁓ I think it's a good way to look at people like I just can't hold you to that. I can't hold you to that. That's not I don't even know if that's who you are anymore. And if something I said a few years ago shouldn't define who I am today or something I did a few years ago shouldn't define who I am today, even though it's natural for us to do that to people, but allowing people to show them who they are for themselves instead of somebody giving you a narrative of them.
Jossie: Right. ⁓ And what you just said reminded me of like, let's not even go that far.
Angelica: Like I think that's where it goes back to that story that I said, like if I hear a cheeseman, what could be 100 % true, allow me to get to know that person for my own self. And what is it that I'm, maybe I'll agree with you, but at least I came up with that conclusion myself.
Jossie: like me, myself, and the life I've lived. I have lived a long life and I've lived a life of sin and I've lived a life where my sin was public that, you know, a lot of people can attest to it. And yes, like, that's who I was years ago. Thankfully, God put me through the shredder and has brought me in this place where I am now. And that's not who I am anymore. ⁓ And that's the person that I'm striving to grow from right? That's that's I I understand that God's plan is perfect and I needed to live that in order to appreciate the gift that my life is and Who I've been created to be and to live to my full potential I'm not living at my full potential, but I'm on my way and I'm trying and striving and that's where this Where I fall short or in these, you know in in this in this life, I fall short from it. And so I think because of that life that I've lived, because I know where I stand today and I know what I'm striving for, and honestly, like if somebody were to spread a chisme about me, it wouldn't faze me because most likely, yeah, you're right, you got the chisme right, And so it wouldn't faze me because been there, done that, right? ⁓ So yeah, and I think that's where you're right. We have to be charitable. We have to think with responsibility and we have to kind of grow from that.
Angelica: Thank you for sharing that and thank you for that awesome acercate tip. ⁓ That was very well said. ⁓ think que yo comí bien hoy yo tengo a really good stay pretty tip ⁓ inspired by the Holy Spirit ⁓ a moment ago. ⁓ So stay pretty tip for episode is ⁓ Are you thinking about spilling the tea? How about you drink some tea instead? Tea! Tea is so good for you. Girl. I don't know.
Jossie: I think we're going to say green tea because I'm not a fan of green tea but I do know that green tea has a lot of antioxidants and it's anti-inflammatory and like you you wake up swollen in the morning like green tea but it tastes so gross but manzanilla I didn't even think about that. I mean with that like good Mexican, un tecito de canela that's you know.
Angelica: This is like. Yeah. What the hell are you doing? Mm-hmm. yeah, I love, I mean, not that I love tea, but I gotta get my tea game up. So girls, ladies, take some time, learn about some teas that you could be drinking para dormir, maybe green tea in the morning, enhance your beauty, your inner beauty. Let's stop spilling the tea and let's start drinking tea so we can be pretty. So thank you so much. So we'll catch you on next time.
Jossie: Yes, yes. We will see you guys soon. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for staying strong and staying through and remember to like, subscribe, comment, share. Yeah, this tea you can spill. This one, go ahead and spread it. Okay, thank you guys so much. See you guys. Nos vemos en la proxima. Adios.
Angelica: Right, Josie? We'll be here for the next episode. ⁓ Yes.
Angelica: everyone, welcome back to this new episode, still season three, and we're so excited that you're here with us today. Again, my name is Angelica and I'm with my friend Josie. How you doing today, Josie?
Jossie: I am so good. It is a good day. It's a good day. It's a new day.
Angelica: Yeah, it's a wonderful day. And girl, let me tell you, there's some hot brewing tea that we have today. Some
Jossie: Ben, Ben, sit down here and me everything. Everything, everything.
Angelica: And that is exactly what we're going to talk about. Chisme. Are you down for the chisme talk?
Jossie: I'm like excited. you know what? How many messages don't you get that start like that? How many text messages, right? Like, girl.
Angelica: Yeah, girl, you won't believe this. How many messages do I send like that? ⁓ my goodness. If you only knew, girl, that remind me to tell you. ⁓ my goodness. Yeah. So this episode, we're going to talk about spilling the beans and why el chisme is not good for the soul. And we're going to talk all things chisme today, including what we engage in that we do as well.
Jossie: Yeah Yeah Yeah. mean, listen, we are sinners. We have said that we're on a journey here. The goal is heaven, right? Pero the reality is que estas son las cosas that nurture the soul in a bad way. And that we're still working on, right? These are those things that I think a lot of people are still working on. And sometimes you feel like you went 65 steps ahead, but then this brings us back down so much.
Angelica: Yes.
Jossie: because it's so good. It's so good. love.
Angelica: Right. Yeah. And we don't even know what it's doing. Like, we don't even know that it's harmful sometimes. we know what chisme is. Like, know, yeah, el chisme es malo, spreading rumors is bad. But I think a lot of the times we don't know when we are chismeando. Like, no sabemos cuando estamos chismeando. ⁓
Jossie: Right, because we're justifying it. But anyway, for our listeners that don't know what el chisme is, ⁓ can you tell us what chisme is, Angelica?
Angelica: Yeah, so chisme, so in English, rumors, gossiping, ⁓ just talking about people, right? So we like, I googled what chisme meant, like meant the definition. And originally it comes from like some, I guess related to like Latin context of bugs. So that like whispering and I guess being around the bush and hiding. ⁓ And then it being so prevalent in Latin communities, which is crazy to me, but it's not. I guess it's not surprising, but it's funny to know that it is very much tied to Latin communities, the chisme. So this is very common amongst us. Do you consider yourself a chismosa?
Jossie: ⁓ I have a group chat called the Chisme group chat. ⁓ And know what? And I justify the group chat because yeah, ⁓ mean, amongst Chisme part of the group chat, we also talk about like day to day life and whatever. And so I justify it as like, this is our way of connecting with each other. This is our daily dose. Like this is...
Angelica: ⁓ my no you don't!
Jossie: This is how we stay in touch. Like if you put it in the chisme chat, like you're good. We're connected. So yeah, desafortunadamente, yes, I'm a chismosa. But not in that way. Like, but no, I'm not a chismosa in the sense that I am like, well, this is how I think, but I could be that way, right? Perspective. I think I'm not a chismosa where I'm going around intentionally spreading rumors of people. So therefore I'm not. But I mean, will talk about, I will send a text message about that drama that happened between that famous couple listen, that big famous lawsuit with the blonde actress and the man that's going on, girl, I'm there.
Angelica: from that movie.
Jossie: Yes, from that movie, right? Like I'm listening to the podcast and watching. I'm, ⁓ I, ⁓ yes. So I like the cheese, I el in ese sentido. Cause I'm, I, I'm being informed. I'm, ⁓ I'm getting information. I'm like up on the news. Ask about it. I'll tell you. ⁓
Angelica: Great. Yeah. Right. I guess like where do we draw the line? Like is it informative, especially like public figures? Because I honestly have never considered myself a chismosa, but I realized that I do fit the categories, like the requirements. And like my husband and I, we have this thing called chisme time, you know? And we just like joke around each other like chisme time. And it's like something that happened at work with him or
Jossie: Yeah.
Angelica: something about him so it's not necessarily instinctively like bad or evil we're not saying something bad about someone just more about what happened to him during the day about something right but
Jossie: Let me interrupt you right there. Are you an angel that couple you know? Have you ever seen like the reels where they're like when your girlfriend tells you something she says don't tell anybody else and you don't tell anybody else but Yes, exactly. Yo legit the same way like I can talk to Fran about anything and everything and he has a good perspective, but yeah
Angelica: ⁓ my goodness, yes, but my husband. I don't want to put myself out there, my friends and family who have told me don't tell nobody else. If I tell you, if it comes out of my mouth, I won't tell nobody else, then I won't. I promise that I am truthful to that. But when you're telling me something and you've never like, como que no me afirmaste que era in between you and Dai, I won't share with nobody else. But Angel and Dai are one now. So the pillow talk later in the day might be a thing for us. But
Jossie: Yeah.
Angelica: No, if somebody tells me don't say nothing, I won't share it. But if they don't tell me that, you know, if they don't include that in our conversation, then Angel will know. Yeah, right.
Jossie: They don't make you sign an NDA. NDA necessary.
Angelica: right and you know what's funny now they say that honestly i think they just like they're just not like i don't know maybe they're not as loud about it but
Jossie: I mean, yeah. No, but okay, my theory is que si son chismosos, but they're chismosos with you. Like, Fran is chismoso with me. he'll, and by chismoso, I'll just say like, he'll give me his opinion, he'll give me his two cents, you know, and he'll say X, Y, Z or whatever, but he won't do it with another dude. Like, he won't, he won't, even with his, even with his best friends, like, he won't talk like that about that because they don't talk about those kinds of things, right? Pero con nosotras,
Angelica: with yeah yeah yeah i agree yeah Yes. Right. Yeah, right. I agree. Yeah, then they'll tell you. Yeah, I've told my husband several times. I'm like, do your friends know you're like this? Like, do they even know this version of you? Like, this is this is my version. I'm cool with it, though, you know, like the very open. But yeah, I think definitely guys are much more reserved around other guys like that bro code or whatever. don't know. But.
Jossie: But I mean, that should be in a en cuesta. We should totally do that. Is your boyfriend chismoso? Is your brother chismoso? Who's more chismoso? You or your boyfriend? Curious. Yeah. We should do that.
Angelica: Yeah. Yeah. Good. Yeah. So, so this cheesemith thing being like, it's kind of weird that we use cheesemith to like interact socially, right? Like, we're, it's kind of also like a safe zone. Like if you don't know anyone, if you don't know somebody, or maybe you do know somebody and you don't know them well, you're not comfortable with them. Maybe your mother-in-law, maybe... ⁓ a friend, a new friend or whatever, you might look for chisme about somebody else as a way to relate to each other, which is kind of crazy to think about it like that.
Jossie: Right. What does that say about society is we are so hungry. ⁓ You ⁓ know, ⁓ as like as a as population. ⁓ But I mean, ⁓ culturally. ⁓
Angelica: Yeah.
Jossie: like in the Hispanic culture, in the Latino culture, like, you're right, that brings families together.
Angelica: Right. And it does. That's part of it. Unfortunately, it does. Because I've definitely have found myself, I guess, looking to that as a way to relate to somebody, even if it is about... Honestly, I could think about it right now. I was with family yesterday and at least four times I brought up something that's happening, public, celebrities and stuff, but just as a way to kind of kill the... the silence, right? And so how many times do we do that? Like, I relate to somebody with somebody else's business. ⁓ But I think the point of this episode is to talk about how this is not good, right? How chisme is not good and how it is a form of ⁓ injury to someone else, even if they don't even know that you're doing this, right? Even if they don't know you're talking about them, it's still unjust.
Jossie: Yeah. ⁓ Yeah.
Angelica: to talk about somebody else. So yeah.
Jossie: So why do you think we like it so much if it's so bad for our soul?
Angelica: Yeah, maybe it's just within us. Like we're just broken. I don't know, maybe. Like I like to think I like to think that because I honestly don't think I do. Like when I hear somebody of somebody like hurting, even if it's who I don't know very much or I've heard rumors about or I have a certain prejudice.
Jossie: Mm-hmm.
Angelica: like I wouldn't get happy, but yeah, I don't know. I don't know why we are so willing to share other people's business, especially things that are not necessarily good because why don't we share the good? Like, oh my gosh, do you know who just graduated? Girl, I got some tea for you. Guess who just got married and had a beautiful baby girl?
Jossie: Did you see what she wore?
Angelica: Like, yeah, we do that, but it's usually from a negative standpoint. Like, you know, do you see what she, do you know who just broke up? Do you know that who just got pregnant and they're single, you know? So we often do it in a negative sense. We never come at it from a positive ⁓ perspective of like, look at what this person achieves. And maybe if they do, oftentimes I see it as a, like, I don't know, like there's a negative.
Jossie: perspective.
Angelica: Addition to the positive thing that happened ⁓ Like how could she you know, or how does she get that job, you know or whatever like so it's yeah don't know. I don't know why we do it or why we like it but I think it's something within us and human nature to be broken
Jossie: Yeah, and I think like that's one of the most powerful tools that we have as women is our mouth, nuestra lingua, and the words that come out of our mouth. Our words are powerful and I sometimes even I get taken aback by like when I say something and I don't realize that they are taking me at my word and how important they're taking it and I'm like, whoa.
Angelica: Mm-hmm. ⁓
Jossie: My words have power ⁓ and I am just and I'm treating it lightly. Like I'm not being respectful of it. I'm not being responsible. ⁓ And I mean, honestly, that's how I feel with the podcast too. Like we, ⁓ I feel like we have a responsibility to what it is that we say. And why can't I feel like that about everything that comes out of my mouth? Why is it only here in this moment? You know, that's hard. It's it's but it's a realization and like when I go into the confessional It's not the top sin that comes to mind. I mean like if I've had a hard week and girl I said 16 things or two then then it comes up but like not the everyday like the the the everyday Observations or the everyday critiques because it's a bit of a cheese man las criticas the the dia dia porque I'm one of las cosas que I'm like a negative Nancy. I always think the worst. Yes, I'm the worst case scenario. I'm the devil's advocate. I'm a negative Nancy. I think that people do it because they have malice and they have ill intentions and not because they're doing it for the best. So we have our mutual friend. ⁓ I throw the situation at him and then he thinks and he said, But they did it because they care. They did it out of love. And he's like, siempre, always, le musque el lado amable. And I'm like, and I hate that because I'm like, yo, you just bursted my bubble. But he's right. Did they do it with malice? And the answer, 90 % of the time is no. It wasn't done with malice. wasn't done. So I think it's perspective también. We have to shift that mentality. Comodidad de Hicida, let's celebrate.
Angelica: You Right. ⁓
Jossie: people. ⁓ Let's spread the good news, Yeah.
Angelica: Right, and I think you said something important, is ⁓ like what I hear you saying, like, basically what I thought of was lack of purpose. think when we don't realize our purpose to the full potential that it is, we may look at to gossip as a way to. ⁓ lidiar, right? Like as a sinful nature. But I think when we're more focused on our own things and our own doings in terms of our relationship with God, you're not going to have enough time to even gossip. And I think that's something that I need to work on. ⁓ I really don't consider myself a chismosa, but I do see that I am. You know, it's like a realization of like, wait, like, yeah, I'm not spreading gossip. I'm not talking about people, but yet I am engaging in conversation.
Jossie: Yeah. And like, to be honest, I would think that this is so I think of
Angelica: or entertaining conversation that, ⁓ so even though I didn't bring it up, I'm entertaining it, is what I'm trying to say. And that just is bad, right?
Jossie: I think of a coworker that we had, that we have, I currently have but we have together. I'm thinking of a coworker that we had. ⁓ And she, every time that she would hear, like when people would go to her and present a situation, and she would hear, like she would say, are you going to talk bad about somebody? What you're gonna say, is it going to be good for me? And if it's not, I don't wanna engage in it. And I remember thinking like, that's rude. That's hella rude. Like, yes, you know, like, like, because you're coming with a situation that's frustrating you. So you want the other person to be frustrated with you as well with the person, about the person that's frustrating you. And, ⁓ and then when they're not, and when they're checking you, hasta cae mal. Like, you know, but yeah, that's.
Angelica: Yeah. And that's so it's like the again, it's that really looking for that to relate, right? Because you're looking by sharing this about the other person you're looking to relate and you're looking for somebody to relate with you. ⁓ And then it makes me think like, how many times do we mess up or skew our judgment, our perception on somebody based on some ⁓ of something we've heard? So
Jossie: Mm-hmm.
Angelica: For example, I mean, I'm a mucho and I do have it in my Angelica rule book. Like whenever somebody tells me like, don't talk to that person or don't hang out with that person, this person is blank, you know, negative connotation. It's usually always wrong for me, for me, because I get to know that person and I'm like, wait, like you're not that for me. You could be like that for somebody else. I don't know. I don't know. But.
Jossie: And. ⁓ Right.
Angelica: I don't have the same judgment. So often time I have found myself with people,
Jossie: saw it with you. I definitely saw it with you. ⁓ And again, this is I am a Chizmosa because I went to you, you had started with us and I knew that you were going to work with this person, And I remember going to you and saying to you, ⁓ watch out. She's X, Y, and Z. She's great in these ways, but she's X, Y, and Z this way because of what we had experienced with her previously. And you said very graciously, and I do, I have two situations. Yes, yes. I have two situations. You said very graciously, thank you so much for telling me. Thank you very much. ⁓ I'm very excited to work with her and I'm going to see what that relationship, how that relationship evolves. And I was like, okay, whatever. Like, whatever.
Angelica: Did I? Did I? Did I really? I did not remember this.
Jossie: Okay, yeah. And I'm like, all right, like, Angelica totally, like, blew me off, whatever. I'm like, she's gonna come back, llorando, vas a ver. But ⁓ I never heard you complain about her. ⁓ We all have other complaints, but I never heard you. So I think that I think you can, I wanna hear your perspective now.
Angelica: So funny. Yeah, no, it's so funny. I don't remember this. I don't remember you telling me. I do know many people have told me though. And from my experiences, I also learned the kind of person that she should be paired with because of her personality.
Jossie: Yeah. I think you're the only one that came out to be smart like that.
Angelica: I don't know. I don't know if it's smart. was just like, I don't want this to happen again. Like it's embarrassing like to us as a team. But I just felt that, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why, but like I never experienced that. If anything, I think she's so sweet and she's so caring, but it doesn't mean that. Right.
Jossie: And she means well, and she's got the biggest heart in the entire world. But again, we all have our faults. Yeah.
Angelica: We all have our faults, right? And that's what I mean. Like it doesn't mean that we need to be blind because like I said earlier, like we should be able to judge someone based on their character, right? Based on who they portrayed to be because how else do we have the sermon on certain things, right? So I do agree. But for example, for me, like I would always ask, ⁓ mi jefe, I would always ask to be paired with her. because I'm okay with her. Like it does not bother me. And that has happened so many times with other people. sorry.
Jossie: have the sweetest personality. You're just so calm. I see things, I panic.
Angelica: ⁓ gosh no. ⁓
Jossie: I mean, I panic internally, but I like you and I can be harsh and like you are not harsh when you are so kind. You're so great. No, no, but you are. You're so gracious. Like when you're so you're so gentle, you're gentle. And I think that that's why you can deal with difficult personalities. Right. And
Angelica: No, no, I... I can't... No, I'm ⁓ But it's not that I could deal with it. It's also that I crave it. It's a weird, yeah, I told my mom that too. And she's like, yeah, I don't know. Because we talked about it, like, used to work at the bank. And whenever there was a difficult customers, I'm talking about difficult as in either racist or extremely rude, extremely impatient.
Jossie: That's so weird.
Angelica: the girls and I, and you know, they will look at me like, are you going to take it? And I'm like, yeah. Or sometimes I would know, like I have faces and green in my head of these customers that were not so nice. And they will stand in line. And from afar, I'll be like, Hey, like I got them. And I'm telling you, no, I wanted to challenge myself because just just say can we even get a card of the means come on, get salads or whatever. He, he may pass out. Like I'm not saying it was.
Jossie: you No.
Angelica: enjoy like I didn't enjoy it but I did crave it like to challenge myself that way because I was told so many things and my face would get red like I wanted to cry sometimes like legit cry and hide but something about not responding I don't know this is so weird to admit to to another person I told my mom and she was shocked but it felt good about not speaking up I don't know It's so weird. I wanted to inside of me, my natural response would have been like to say something mean back to the person that just cursed me out or cursed back, I don't know. But I felt so much peace holding it in, even though I was like about to die. And my mom was like, girl, you can't do that. ⁓ You can't hold it in. And I'm like, I don't know, mom, it felt good. I don't know why I'm like this. But my point is that
Jossie: Yeah. Right, of course.
Angelica: I don't like to, I really like to challenge myself with people. And I have come to believe that most of the time when you hear something about somebody, it's not, it's not the same idea. And Nadia is, nobody's a villain in their own story. So who like, yeah.
Jossie: You're gonna get the best version right? Yeah, and that's what they say there are two sides to every story, which there are there are two sides to every story. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Angelica: or even three, like there's your side, my side, and then there's an actual truth, maybe something in the middle or something that we're both, you know, maybe missing. But yeah, something you said too was like our tongues, right? The way we speak. And that reminds me of a verse. So one of the verses here that we have comes from James chapter three, verse five to six. And it says the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boast.
Jossie: Right, the damage that happens when a false rumor is spread or when reputations are damaged because of it.
Angelica: It is a fire, a world of evil. And that's so powerful to think about. Like it is a small part of the body, but look at everything. Look at all the damage that it can cause by using our tongues, like the way we use our tongues, but we say what comes out of our mouth.
Jossie: or opportunities are lost. Like, esos son las consecuencias of un chisme, un chisme mal spread. And I think when you think of like, ⁓ am I chismosa? I don't do that, so therefore I'm not. But then it's like the critique that goes into it, right? ⁓ Yeah. Did you ever, ⁓ did you ever think, that some of the gossip that goes on in schools and reputations that are being ruined by kids, like, did you, did you ever see that thing where it's a drawing of a, a child and he's spewing mean things to another child, but there is a long tongue that connects to the mom. And so,
Angelica: Yeah, yeah, I've seen that.
Jossie: And so then that's what certain kids are living in schools or teens are living in schools. They're being destroyed by chisme. They're being destroyed by chisme that's happening on social media by all of these, like the fake news that is being posted. how many kids are not falling into depression because of it? ⁓ ⁓ much responsibility do we have as parents through it, right?
Angelica: And it's true, I think our kids are gonna mimic what we do, right? What we say, how we treat people, how we talk about people. I think that's common and now like you said, like social media, think about ⁓ like, you're gonna get like 300 perspectives now, some 300 twists. like just like playing telephone, we play telephone when we're little, you know how you start off with what you're supposed to say and it ends up being something completely different or a distortion of what originally was stated.
Jossie: you
Angelica: My point is that we make it so easy to spread things that we don't know. Things that we don't even know are not true. So we're not certain we should be careful about spreading those.
Jossie: Yeah. Right. And can we talk for a minute about, este, como se llama el, What's called? ⁓
Angelica: Right.
Jossie: like a positive perspective from like ⁓ a good intention like I'm just I'm just telling you this because I need because we need to pray like we like we need prayers for them because X Y and Z and then here's the cheese may right so where's the intentionality like and I think with intentionality also comes charity
Angelica: no.
Jossie: I think the intention behind ⁓ it is important. And I think that's a self-check. If there's anything that can do, ⁓ is check ⁓ How do we check ourselves? By ⁓ ye. talking about our intentionality, you know, like, did they do it with malice? 90 % of the time they didn't.
Angelica: you Yeah, I agree. Right. And I think most of the time, maybe most of the time, people don't ⁓ do things with malice. think it's just, I don't know, people are like kind of ⁓ disoriented, like in their own worlds doing things. But I do think we should be intentional when it comes to chisme, especially ⁓ because we really don't know. That's the sad thing is that we don't know somebody's intention either. So I don't know. This is a I just thought of a saint. don't know if you have heard of the saints. his is Saint Vitalis of Gaza. ⁓ And I will mess up his story, but ⁓ as I've heard that he a monk or like a really good priest his community, ⁓ and he would actually visit prostitutes and ⁓ pray for them, give them money, them food, take care of them. However, in his town, ⁓ Un chisme was spread about him that he was visiting prostitutes. So the people in the community murdered him because they saw that, you know, they believed him to be. ⁓ engaging with prostitutes. And so at his funeral, it is believed that, as a story I've heard, is that it was filled with homeless people and prostitutes. They told the people there that he was actually taking care of them for many years and helping them for many years. So it's just sad to see how cheesemus spreads. But I do think we need to be conscious as well. What actions are we doing that may, what can people misinterpret in our actions?
Jossie: Right. ⁓
Angelica: well. So I think that's important to acknowledge. But yeah, this piece was
Jossie: Yeah, like my mom always said, hagas cosas buenas que parezcan malas. Right? Yeah. Yeah, but still, man, he was doing good.
Angelica: Uh-huh, asimismo. I know he's a saint. So one of the things about Gossip that the Catechism tells us, so the Catechism 20485 says,
Jossie: Wait, what's the catechism, Angelica, for affirms that might not know what the catechism is?
Angelica: So the Catechism, it's a book that has all of the Catholic teachings. So it's basically the Bible explained, okay? Like in a very... more than the Bible, the traditions as well. Traditions, all of the pillars of our faith are explained in the catechism as a way for us to make it easier. And it goes through so many things. So this is why it's important because maybe some things won't be covered in the Bible, but the catechism might have something about it. A deeper dive of our faith, yeah.
Jossie: Right, it does like a deeper dive of like everything, yeah. It just so happens that it has a little thing or two about Chi Sme.
Angelica: right and it does tell about everything like it's every single time my mom has a question i'm like have you looked at the catechism yet because i'm sure they got something and it's so one of the things there was and there's a few there's a few things we only grabbed like one or two ⁓ but one of things that i found was ⁓ 24 85 i'm not sure if that's the one the same one you had josey but ⁓ no okay
Jossie: No, mine was $24.97, but yeah.
Angelica: So the one that I found says that lies and gossip destroy trust. So by its very nature, lying is to be condemned. It is failure and justice and charity. And I read this and I thought about charity. Como es? How do you say that? Are we being charitable? Yeah, but are we being charitable with people when we speak about them? Are we giving them the benefit of the doubt? Like, gossip oftentimes includes exaggerating something. It includes twisting the story or even leaving out a detail intentionally or not intentional, which messes up the whole story, right?
Jossie: Mm-hmm.
Angelica: And so all of that is ⁓ included in lying. So when we talk about somebody, were we even there? Like when somebody tells us a and now we spread it. ⁓ do you know that Fulanita is dating Jose and Jose now has another girlfriend? Did we see it happen? Do we know this for sure? What if that's the sister? What if that's Jose's sister? Poor Jose, they're calling him a womanizer.
Jossie: Yeah, great. Oh, for ejemplo, no has visto las, the thing on social media that is like, you know, like, I'm not cheese mosa, but. I want to know why you were sharing pictures with that boy and all of a sudden he's gone from your profile. Right? Or when they say like, please pray for so and so, but they don't tell us why. What happened? What did she do? le paso? Like tell us. Or when the kids run away, you didn't tell us that they came back. What happened?
Angelica: Right. Yeah. Why did they run away? Right. And I guess that goes back to your initial question of why do we do this? I think maybe as human beings, we're just very curious creatures and we need to know, we need to find the answer to things. And maybe that's the point. We need to learn to live in peace, even when we don't know the answers to things. think. Right. I'm going take that for myself. ⁓
Jossie: Mind your business. ⁓
Angelica: You don't need to know why that kid went missing that day. Where did he go to? You don't need to know. Why do you need to know? And I think that's been part of my problems too is I'm always trying to find answers to things. I'm like, okay, why did this happen? I don't need to know that. I don't need to know that.
Jossie: And it's so funny because we are curious. Why can't we be curious about God? Like, eso da flojera, right? Eso da flojera to like open your Bible, open your catechism. Like, let me be curious about this. But I do have to say, if somebody asks me a question, or if I'm like, is that even canonically correct? Let me prove it wrong. Then I go to... ⁓
Angelica: Right? Right? Spread, spread God's Right.
Jossie: canon law, all my Bible, then because I'm trying to prove something wrong, not because I'm trying to grow in relationship with Christ. Like, dang, it's almost a sea.
Angelica: Right. that. right i know i mean we're broken but i think this is it like this is this is this is the key let's be chimosa about christ let's be christ let's put his chism like let's talk about the gospel can we be chismos about the gospel let's give it to everybody right let spread the good news it should be like germs it reminds me of ⁓ dan ⁓ so it reminds me of someone
Jossie: next. Let's spread the good news.
Angelica: my old boss, so he used to talk about methods in youth ministry, like all the components of youth ministry and ⁓ describing them with the seven dwarfs and ⁓ Snow White. One of them, evangelization, was sneezy, you know, the one that's always sneezing and sick, is like because we should be sneezing on everybody. We should be spreading the germs of the good news to everybody and that's how it should be. So why can we spread the good news like we do about lo que esta pasando in your neighborhood? Like let's spread the good news about God.
Jossie: Right. Right. Like, like when you see when that episode drops and you get the bell because there's been an update on what happened on the trial and you want to know what happened? Yeah, dang, you're right.
Angelica: Thank Yes. And also like when was the last time we told somebody that Jesus loves you? When was the last time we told somebody Jesus loves
Jossie: Because we sound crazy Angelica. How am going to be like, oh hey by the way Jesus loves you. Actually you know what, no. I am going to say so. It's not chisme. It's I'm informing you. No, no, no, es cierto. Okay. My goddaughter who I love so very much, somebody sent her a friend request and she texted me about it and I said, she said why the heck would this person friend me? I'm paraphrasing. And I said to her, that's probably my fault because we were talking about you. And I said something like, no, she doesn't hate you. And then this friend request shows up and she said, why would you say that? And so my response to her was because you are such a beautiful person and you have such a beautiful soul that you're not capable of hating someone to that capacity. You don't have that in your heart. And then she said, she was like, you saw the little dots?
Angelica: Wow.
Jossie: bubbles come up and then they disappeared and then they came back up again and she said, dang, you got me on that one. And it was like, maybe I didn't tell her that Jesus loves her, but I think I helped her to realize that yeah, she doesn't have the capacity to hate in her heart for this person who I know she doesn't hate. yeah. But I just told you her story.
Angelica: Yeah. Right, so you didn't tell her that Jesus loves her directly, but you implied it in your message, right?
Jossie: Right.
Angelica: And I think that's just it. Like if we can't directly tell somebody, can we at least behave like the way we treat other people, the way we talk about other people. ⁓ And that's just something for us to remember. Like, I don't think it's like, no, you can't talk about anyone. No, don't think that's it because obviously like we need information to know things. We need to make the sermons. We need to discern about the way we're going to treat somebody, the way somebody is and stuff. is in human nature but I think it's understanding that we truly don't know what happened and us spreading something that we know nothing about is not going to add any good to it. ⁓ But yeah so yeah.
Jossie: Yeah, I mean that's it's it's hard I think those are you know, I I talked to I talked to our friend about you know, getting trying to get to heaven And I say to him, the struggle is real. And he's like, what struggle? That's why you have to work on your willpower. He's like, it shouldn't be that hard if we're living in grace. Yes, but this is that part. This is because it's so small and it's so minimal because you justify it in so many ways, but it's such part of your everyday life. Like when you're hitting up that girlfriend to check on her, to see how she's doing because you know that she needs to let it out. You really don't care about it, but you know she needs to let it out. And she needs a place to release. Is that sinful? Is it sinful on my part or is it... Or am I being a good person? Am I justifying it right now?
Angelica: Right. Right. No, I don't know. I don't think so. I think we have friendships, we have relationships, and we seek each other's counsel. I seek you to give me advice and So obviously, part of that, like I said earlier, nobody is the evil person. So if I come to you with a problem, most likely it's going to have an antagonist in my story that
Jossie: is you
Angelica: is unfortunate, whether that poor person is really bad or not, is part of my story and they're the bad one in my story, right? So when I come to you, I come to you with the details of what is my reality, but I think us being like Christian women, we have to really discern what is my advice back to you, you know? It can't be something that's... ⁓ evil towards that person that's going to create more evil, but it also can't be something that is ⁓ too easy where if that person is suffering from in the hands of the other individual that's gonna make it worse either so this is where we discern and we come to God and we ask God to give us the right way the grace is necessary to be able to give good counsel and I think that was hard because how do you know if how do know who's right like have you like as a child ever see your mom and your dad fighting and you're like wait but like I don't know whose side I'm on because you guys both sound pretty much the same
Jossie: Right. Right.
Angelica: You know, so I think it's praying about that. how can like my friend needs to share her feelings and I'm there for her. But then do you guard it in your heart and do you give it even to God? you that deal el chisme a Dios, el lo sabe ya. But are you doing that or are you going to go now tell somebody else, even if it's husband, my angel, a pillow talk like that's not.
Jossie: Right. Mm-hmm.
Angelica: That's not cool either.
Jossie: we've a lot about ⁓ the impacts of chisme and gossip and ⁓ spreading the and spreading the message in the news. touched upon a couple of ways where we can be better ⁓ at ⁓ when ⁓ the chisme comes to us and we to spread the chisme. ⁓ So we're just gonna close with ⁓ a small little prayer. ⁓ And then we're going to go into our acerqueta challenge and our stay pretty tip. So if we can just place ourselves in His presence in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Dear Heavenly Father, I ask for your help in resisting the temptation to chisme. When conversation turns towards gossip, please give me the wisdom and courage to redirect the conversation and remove myself from la situacion. Help me to be positive influence and to speak words that build up and encourage others. I pray for those who have been hurt by gossip, bring healing to their hearts and restore their reputations. Help them to forgive those who have wronged and to find strength and comfort in you. May my words always reflect your love and grace in your holy name. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Okay. So since we, Angelica, you did such a good job of like telling us what, of like helping us to remember and kind of redirect whenever somebody comes to us and in that little prayer, like, if we can be encouraged to walk away to redirect the conversation. Our acércate challenge for this week is ask yourself before you speak. I don't know about you, but like that's so hard for me. It's so hard for me to even pause before I speak. Ahora imagina asking myself before I speak. So ask yourself before you speak. When you hear something, when somebody comes to you and you are ready to spill the beans, ask yourself, is it true? Is it necessary? Is it charitable? And then learn how to practice silence, learn how to practice discretion, focus la conversación hacia lo positivo o lo constructivo, y si ya participaste, busca to repair this with humility. So if you've already participated in Spilling the Beans, try to be humble about it. I think humility is one of the things that we didn't talk about.
Angelica: it made me think of this. Like, Jesus chose the thief to be the treasurer. Like, Jesus knew, I mean, in his divinity, he knew who Judas was, right? He was potentially, eventually going to trade...
Jossie: .
Angelica: ⁓ betray him, ⁓ that he was a thief and yet he chose him to be the treasurer. So I think this is a call, a notion to us to realize that we can't judge someone based on their mistakes or even other things that we've heard of them because one, it may not be true. In Judah's case, it was. But even when we hear something like this, like even when we know something, ⁓ I think it's a good way to look at people like I just can't hold you to that. I can't hold you to that. That's not I don't even know if that's who you are anymore. And if something I said a few years ago shouldn't define who I am today or something I did a few years ago shouldn't define who I am today, even though it's natural for us to do that to people, but allowing people to show them who they are for themselves instead of somebody giving you a narrative of them.
Jossie: Right. ⁓ And what you just said reminded me of like, let's not even go that far.
Angelica: Like I think that's where it goes back to that story that I said, like if I hear a cheeseman, what could be 100 % true, allow me to get to know that person for my own self. And what is it that I'm, maybe I'll agree with you, but at least I came up with that conclusion myself.
Jossie: like me, myself, and the life I've lived. I have lived a long life and I've lived a life of sin and I've lived a life where my sin was public that, you know, a lot of people can attest to it. And yes, like, that's who I was years ago. Thankfully, God put me through the shredder and has brought me in this place where I am now. And that's not who I am anymore. ⁓ And that's the person that I'm striving to grow from right? That's that's I I understand that God's plan is perfect and I needed to live that in order to appreciate the gift that my life is and Who I've been created to be and to live to my full potential I'm not living at my full potential, but I'm on my way and I'm trying and striving and that's where this Where I fall short or in these, you know in in this in this life, I fall short from it. And so I think because of that life that I've lived, because I know where I stand today and I know what I'm striving for, and honestly, like if somebody were to spread a chisme about me, it wouldn't faze me because most likely, yeah, you're right, you got the chisme right, And so it wouldn't faze me because been there, done that, right? ⁓ So yeah, and I think that's where you're right. We have to be charitable. We have to think with responsibility and we have to kind of grow from that.
Angelica: Thank you for sharing that and thank you for that awesome acercate tip. ⁓ That was very well said. ⁓ think que yo comí bien hoy yo tengo a really good stay pretty tip ⁓ inspired by the Holy Spirit ⁓ a moment ago. ⁓ So stay pretty tip for episode is ⁓ Are you thinking about spilling the tea? How about you drink some tea instead? Tea! Tea is so good for you. Girl. I don't know.
Jossie: I think we're going to say green tea because I'm not a fan of green tea but I do know that green tea has a lot of antioxidants and it's anti-inflammatory and like you you wake up swollen in the morning like green tea but it tastes so gross but manzanilla I didn't even think about that. I mean with that like good Mexican, un tecito de canela that's you know.
Angelica: This is like. Yeah. What the hell are you doing? Mm-hmm. yeah, I love, I mean, not that I love tea, but I gotta get my tea game up. So girls, ladies, take some time, learn about some teas that you could be drinking para dormir, maybe green tea in the morning, enhance your beauty, your inner beauty. Let's stop spilling the tea and let's start drinking tea so we can be pretty. So thank you so much. So we'll catch you on next time.
Jossie: Yes, yes. We will see you guys soon. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for staying strong and staying through and remember to like, subscribe, comment, share. Yeah, this tea you can spill. This one, go ahead and spread it. Okay, thank you guys so much. See you guys. Nos vemos en la proxima. Adios.
Angelica: Right, Josie? We'll be here for the next episode. ⁓ Yes.
