WEBVTT
00:00:01.030 --> 00:00:03.290
Autistic people have so much to offer, and yet
00:00:03.290 --> 00:00:05.429
so many of us struggle to fit into a world that
00:00:05.429 --> 00:00:07.650
isn't designed for us. I want to help change
00:00:07.650 --> 00:00:10.390
that. Welcome to the Working Class Autistic podcast,
00:00:10.810 --> 00:00:12.810
where I talk to experts and discuss ways for
00:00:12.810 --> 00:00:14.570
autistic adults to thrive and reach their full
00:00:14.570 --> 00:00:17.129
potential at work and beyond. I'm your host,
00:00:17.250 --> 00:00:22.670
Kevin Joseph. Now, let's get to work. Hello,
00:00:22.809 --> 00:00:24.690
everyone, and welcome to this week's episode
00:00:24.690 --> 00:00:27.710
of Working Class Autistic. This week, I decided
00:00:27.710 --> 00:00:30.019
I'd try a different type of episode. and do a
00:00:30.019 --> 00:00:33.079
little sort of book review or book recap. I recently
00:00:33.079 --> 00:00:35.460
read the book Self -Care for Autistic People
00:00:35.460 --> 00:00:37.619
by Dr. Megan Anna Neff, and I really enjoyed
00:00:37.619 --> 00:00:40.000
it. It was a book that was full of a lot of different
00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:41.700
tips for autistic people, a lot of different
00:00:41.700 --> 00:00:44.679
ways to kind of improve your life, manage self
00:00:44.679 --> 00:00:47.979
-care, manage your emotions. And I thought there
00:00:47.979 --> 00:00:50.359
were a lot of tips that were helpful from a work
00:00:50.359 --> 00:00:53.270
-related perspective. In this episode, I thought
00:00:53.270 --> 00:00:55.689
I would try and cover five different work -related
00:00:55.689 --> 00:00:58.070
tips from the book and just kind of explain what
00:00:58.070 --> 00:01:00.369
I liked about them and hopefully share them.
00:01:00.549 --> 00:01:02.969
And then if you like the tips that I shared,
00:01:03.070 --> 00:01:04.510
I'd recommend checking out the book. I think
00:01:04.510 --> 00:01:06.530
it was a really good book as well. The first
00:01:06.530 --> 00:01:09.870
tip is know your stress response. So the stress
00:01:09.870 --> 00:01:12.150
responses, which you may have heard before, are
00:01:12.150 --> 00:01:15.909
fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Now, if you're
00:01:15.909 --> 00:01:18.549
not familiar with these stress responses, essentially
00:01:18.549 --> 00:01:20.709
what happens is that when your nervous system
00:01:20.709 --> 00:01:23.549
is stressed, there can be either one of two responses
00:01:23.549 --> 00:01:26.390
or one of two places. You can either rev up and
00:01:26.390 --> 00:01:28.250
go into fight or flight mode, which essentially
00:01:28.250 --> 00:01:30.310
means that you are being prepared for action,
00:01:30.370 --> 00:01:33.909
getting more energetic, or, and which might be
00:01:33.909 --> 00:01:35.969
more common in autistic people, it goes into
00:01:35.969 --> 00:01:39.329
a shutdown mode to reduce sensory input, which
00:01:39.329 --> 00:01:41.569
this could be represented with the freeze or
00:01:41.569 --> 00:01:44.769
fawn state. Most jobs come with stress, some
00:01:44.769 --> 00:01:46.489
kind of stress, whether it's from customers,
00:01:46.829 --> 00:01:50.310
managers, different job responsibilities. And
00:01:50.310 --> 00:01:53.170
just knowing how you handle your stress response
00:01:53.170 --> 00:01:55.109
or what kind of stress response you tend towards
00:01:55.109 --> 00:01:57.510
can be really helpful for figuring out how do
00:01:57.510 --> 00:02:01.290
you handle those. For example, I think I tend
00:02:01.290 --> 00:02:03.670
towards freezing a lot. When I'm in a stressful
00:02:03.670 --> 00:02:06.629
situation, I tend to freeze. I tend to like to
00:02:06.629 --> 00:02:10.629
take a second to pause and just think about things.
00:02:12.460 --> 00:02:13.740
just knowing that that kind of stress response
00:02:13.740 --> 00:02:17.060
can happen you know let's say in a situation
00:02:17.060 --> 00:02:20.319
where i'm with a customer and um you know they
00:02:20.319 --> 00:02:21.659
say something stressful something that triggers
00:02:21.659 --> 00:02:25.719
a stress response um and i know like oh that's
00:02:25.719 --> 00:02:28.500
probably gonna make me freeze or you know pause
00:02:28.500 --> 00:02:31.840
um i can come up with things ahead of time to
00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:34.919
kind of prepare for that right um so if someone
00:02:34.919 --> 00:02:39.110
says something stressful i can say like um I
00:02:39.110 --> 00:02:40.810
can respond to them and say, like, oh, let me
00:02:40.810 --> 00:02:44.050
think about that for a second, or let me just
00:02:44.050 --> 00:02:45.250
make sure I understand what you're trying to
00:02:45.250 --> 00:02:47.810
say. And then that gives me a chance to kind
00:02:47.810 --> 00:02:50.810
of work with my freeze response, you know. By
00:02:50.810 --> 00:02:52.490
preparing for that, I know, like, okay, I'm going
00:02:52.490 --> 00:02:56.050
to freeze. Let me try and figure out a way to
00:02:56.050 --> 00:03:00.210
talk this out and buy myself some time to work
00:03:00.210 --> 00:03:02.770
through that response and make sure I can move
00:03:02.770 --> 00:03:06.370
forward with whatever the customer or manager
00:03:06.370 --> 00:03:09.560
needs. Another tip that I really liked was drop
00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:13.159
unnecessary demands. I really like this tip because
00:03:13.159 --> 00:03:15.819
I think when you're at work, especially when
00:03:15.819 --> 00:03:17.319
you're working at somewhere for a long time,
00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:19.439
you tend to kind of pick up responsibilities
00:03:19.439 --> 00:03:22.319
and demands along the way. You know, you start
00:03:22.319 --> 00:03:24.180
off working on a process and then you just kind
00:03:24.180 --> 00:03:25.900
of keep on working on the process for years because
00:03:25.900 --> 00:03:28.280
nobody ever stopped and said like, oh, hey, does
00:03:28.280 --> 00:03:29.479
it actually make sense for you to work on this
00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:31.539
process? Or can we delegate that to somebody
00:03:31.539 --> 00:03:32.979
else? You know, somebody, you know, somebody
00:03:32.979 --> 00:03:35.099
newer who maybe would benefit from more experience
00:03:35.099 --> 00:03:38.599
with that process. And so it can be really helpful
00:03:38.599 --> 00:03:42.580
to just look at your work responsibilities. One
00:03:42.580 --> 00:03:44.000
thing I like to do is just honestly just list
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.500
out everything I do at work, every single responsibility,
00:03:46.620 --> 00:03:50.360
even if it's something quick or small. Just knowing
00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:53.159
what all is on your plate and then figuring out,
00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:54.699
okay, does this actually make sense to be on
00:03:54.699 --> 00:03:56.639
my plate? That can be a really good activity
00:03:56.639 --> 00:03:58.680
for like a yearly review or something to know
00:03:58.680 --> 00:04:01.840
what all am I actually working on? Does it make
00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:04.580
sense for me specifically to work on this? It
00:04:04.580 --> 00:04:06.919
doesn't make sense to pass this on to somebody
00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:09.740
else. But being able to drop unnecessary demands
00:04:09.740 --> 00:04:13.259
and even saying, or even saying like, you know,
00:04:13.259 --> 00:04:15.340
is this process even helpful anymore? Are there
00:04:15.340 --> 00:04:18.379
ways we can automate it? Is this process resulting
00:04:18.379 --> 00:04:21.139
in something that we even need anymore? And so
00:04:21.139 --> 00:04:24.180
being able to drop that process can be a way
00:04:24.180 --> 00:04:26.160
of getting unnecessary demands off of your plate.
00:04:26.680 --> 00:04:29.360
Another tip that I liked was practice gray thinking.
00:04:30.350 --> 00:04:32.149
And so great thinking is kind of the alternative
00:04:32.149 --> 00:04:34.269
to all or nothing thinking. You know, all or
00:04:34.269 --> 00:04:37.089
nothing thinking can be like, oh, this was the
00:04:37.089 --> 00:04:39.670
most amazing workday ever, or oh, this was the
00:04:39.670 --> 00:04:42.389
worst workday ever, or oh, that meeting went
00:04:42.389 --> 00:04:44.790
great, or versus that meeting went absolutely
00:04:44.790 --> 00:04:47.769
terrible. You know, just 100 % positive or 100
00:04:47.769 --> 00:04:51.110
% negative. But practicing great thinking is
00:04:51.110 --> 00:04:53.970
a way of saying, you know, there may have been
00:04:53.970 --> 00:04:55.949
good parts and bad parts to a certain meeting
00:04:55.949 --> 00:04:59.279
or a certain thing that happened at work. And
00:04:59.279 --> 00:05:00.839
it's good to remind yourself of that, that very
00:05:00.839 --> 00:05:03.399
few things are going to be 100 % positive or
00:05:03.399 --> 00:05:06.160
100 % negative. And so practicing great thinking
00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:09.680
can be a way of saying, let's make sure, or let's
00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:12.660
think it through. I feel like this meeting went
00:05:12.660 --> 00:05:15.279
really poorly, but let me think through some
00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:17.980
positives that I could take from it. Maybe there
00:05:17.980 --> 00:05:19.639
were some good parts of the meeting, or even
00:05:19.639 --> 00:05:21.079
if you can't think of good parts of the meeting,
00:05:21.220 --> 00:05:24.779
you can at least... talk through and say, you
00:05:24.779 --> 00:05:26.319
know, what did I learn from this poor meeting?
00:05:26.459 --> 00:05:27.920
What are some takeaways that I can take away?
00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:29.620
And, you know, what are some things that I can
00:05:29.620 --> 00:05:31.579
take away and say, you know, for next meeting
00:05:31.579 --> 00:05:33.259
to make sure that next meeting goes successfully,
00:05:33.500 --> 00:05:37.060
here are some things I can do to make sure that
00:05:37.060 --> 00:05:39.420
I can learn from this poor experience and move
00:05:39.420 --> 00:05:42.399
forward. Another example may be looking at a
00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:43.819
job description. Like, let's say you're looking
00:05:43.819 --> 00:05:47.439
for a new job and you see, you know, a lot of
00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:48.660
different responsibilities, a lot of different
00:05:48.660 --> 00:05:50.800
requirements, and you think, like, oh, I don't
00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:52.759
meet all of these, therefore I can't apply to
00:05:52.759 --> 00:05:55.740
the job. But with the gray thinking, that could
00:05:55.740 --> 00:05:58.819
be, I meet most of these, or I could learn things
00:05:58.819 --> 00:06:02.279
that I don't know, or have some experience, but
00:06:02.279 --> 00:06:03.319
not necessarily all the experience that they're
00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:05.680
asking for. It's still worth applying. Don't
00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:08.420
reject yourself. Let them reject you. Instead
00:06:08.420 --> 00:06:11.660
of saying, I'm a 100 % match for this job, or
00:06:11.660 --> 00:06:14.339
I'm a 0 % match for this job, just saying, I'm
00:06:14.339 --> 00:06:16.339
a partial match for this job. There's a possibility
00:06:16.339 --> 00:06:18.920
that I could be a good fit, and let's apply and
00:06:18.920 --> 00:06:21.110
see whether it works out. The next tip I want
00:06:21.110 --> 00:06:23.709
to share is embrace high -context communication.
00:06:24.589 --> 00:06:26.509
In a nutshell, what that means is essentially
00:06:26.509 --> 00:06:29.610
communication that has a lot of details or adds
00:06:29.610 --> 00:06:33.149
more details to what's being stated. The ways
00:06:33.149 --> 00:06:35.290
you can do this are things like asking for clarification.
00:06:36.069 --> 00:06:38.569
If your manager gives you a task to work on and
00:06:38.569 --> 00:06:40.269
you're not entirely sure about all the details,
00:06:40.589 --> 00:06:43.250
you can always ask. I feel fortunate that I've
00:06:43.250 --> 00:06:45.569
worked in places where asking questions was encouraged.
00:06:46.510 --> 00:06:48.610
And that if I wasn't sure about something, I
00:06:48.610 --> 00:06:51.370
was always encouraged to ask questions. It makes
00:06:51.370 --> 00:06:53.430
more sense to ask questions up front than to
00:06:53.430 --> 00:06:55.930
make assumptions or go with your gut feeling
00:06:55.930 --> 00:06:57.870
and realize later on, like, oh, this actually
00:06:57.870 --> 00:06:59.430
wasn't what the manager or what the customer
00:06:59.430 --> 00:07:02.629
is looking for. And so embracing high contacts,
00:07:02.810 --> 00:07:04.509
that's one of the skills that autistic people
00:07:04.509 --> 00:07:08.430
can really bring to the table is looking for
00:07:08.430 --> 00:07:10.170
those details, making sure you can plan out ahead
00:07:10.170 --> 00:07:13.149
of time and say, like, oh, we're trying to do
00:07:13.149 --> 00:07:15.680
this, but I feel like... if we take this move
00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:18.079
that will result in this consequence or this
00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:20.279
follow -up and so how do we want to handle that
00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:22.379
and so being able to think through those things
00:07:22.379 --> 00:07:24.500
looking for those details that you know non -autistic
00:07:24.500 --> 00:07:27.360
people may miss that can be a real really valuable
00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:30.699
asset and like and so by embracing high context
00:07:30.699 --> 00:07:33.699
communication and making sure you're covering
00:07:33.699 --> 00:07:37.779
all of your bases asking for clarification following
00:07:37.779 --> 00:07:40.540
up later with whatever questions you have That
00:07:40.540 --> 00:07:42.060
could be a real valuable thing to bring to the
00:07:42.060 --> 00:07:45.259
table and something to be really helpful for
00:07:45.259 --> 00:07:49.139
your job. The last tip I want to share from the
00:07:49.139 --> 00:07:52.689
book is graph scripts for boundary setting. And
00:07:52.689 --> 00:07:55.269
even before I knew about the modern understanding
00:07:55.269 --> 00:07:57.509
of autism or that I might be autistic myself,
00:07:57.910 --> 00:08:00.730
I had a lot of scripts for communication. And
00:08:00.730 --> 00:08:02.269
I talked about this in my earlier episode about
00:08:02.269 --> 00:08:04.589
how I learned to communicate. And I think a lot
00:08:04.589 --> 00:08:06.290
of it does come down to crafting scripts and
00:08:06.290 --> 00:08:09.310
realizing like, oh, here's our scenarios that
00:08:09.310 --> 00:08:11.670
might happen at the workplace and here's how
00:08:11.670 --> 00:08:15.069
I might want to respond, you know? Like I was
00:08:15.069 --> 00:08:16.949
talking about earlier with the knowing your stress
00:08:16.949 --> 00:08:19.670
response, let's say you have a scenario where
00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:21.779
You're working with a customer and a stressful
00:08:21.779 --> 00:08:25.519
issue comes up or a stressful topic conversation
00:08:25.519 --> 00:08:28.199
comes up. Just being able to plan ahead of time
00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:31.139
and realize and think through, okay, here's what
00:08:31.139 --> 00:08:32.620
my customer might want to bring up about this
00:08:32.620 --> 00:08:36.399
kind of issue. For example, I worked at a software
00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:38.100
company where we'd have to notify customers about
00:08:38.100 --> 00:08:41.480
bugs or serious issues, right? And so thinking
00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:44.440
through, okay, here's what I need to tell the
00:08:44.440 --> 00:08:47.679
customer. Here's how I can explain it. Questions
00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:49.399
that they might ask or follow up questions they
00:08:49.399 --> 00:08:53.500
might have. And just thinking through, okay,
00:08:53.580 --> 00:08:56.039
if they have this, you know, let's say they get
00:08:56.039 --> 00:08:57.980
stressed out or angry as a response, you know,
00:08:58.000 --> 00:08:59.679
just thinking through like, okay, I might have
00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:01.460
to deal with an angry person. How do I want to
00:09:01.460 --> 00:09:03.919
handle that? It can also happen in scenarios
00:09:03.919 --> 00:09:06.000
where it's not necessarily as stressful, right?
00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:09.720
I always script it out or thought through, you
00:09:09.720 --> 00:09:12.190
know. And whenever people have small talk or
00:09:12.190 --> 00:09:15.470
ask, like, oh, how was your weekend? I always
00:09:15.470 --> 00:09:16.990
tend to freeze up when that happens. Like, I
00:09:16.990 --> 00:09:18.750
don't know. I don't know why I find those so
00:09:18.750 --> 00:09:21.009
stressful. But just looking through, like, okay,
00:09:21.149 --> 00:09:24.610
during my weekend, I did this thing or I did
00:09:24.610 --> 00:09:26.889
these things. Or if I just had a chill weekend,
00:09:26.929 --> 00:09:29.090
which I needed to have chill weekends a lot when
00:09:29.090 --> 00:09:31.230
I was working. Or I needed to have chill weekends
00:09:31.230 --> 00:09:33.269
a lot when I was working in stressful jobs because
00:09:33.269 --> 00:09:35.909
I needed that time to recover and recharge. I
00:09:35.909 --> 00:09:37.450
can just say, you know, oh, I just had a chill
00:09:37.450 --> 00:09:39.509
weekend this weekend, you know, and just being.
00:09:39.899 --> 00:09:43.700
prepared for that answer can be a way of, you
00:09:43.700 --> 00:09:45.740
know, kind of making sure that I feel prepared
00:09:45.740 --> 00:09:49.899
for what comes out throughout the day. And like
00:09:49.899 --> 00:09:51.379
I mentioned in my earlier episode about communication,
00:09:51.740 --> 00:09:54.940
I really like the website askamanager .com. It's
00:09:54.940 --> 00:09:57.340
a blog and advice blog that shares a lot of these
00:09:57.340 --> 00:10:02.080
kinds of scripts. And then the website manager
00:10:03.259 --> 00:10:05.539
Allison really covers a lot of different scripts,
00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:07.019
a lot of different scenarios that can happen
00:10:07.019 --> 00:10:09.799
at work. And she's really skilled at providing
00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:12.620
scripts that say like, oh, here's how you can
00:10:12.620 --> 00:10:16.019
share what you want to share in a way that will
00:10:16.019 --> 00:10:19.360
resonate with the person you're talking to and
00:10:19.360 --> 00:10:21.480
kind of share your feelings in an effective way.
00:10:21.700 --> 00:10:23.320
And so I really appreciate the scripts that the
00:10:23.320 --> 00:10:26.500
website provides and the answers that she has
00:10:26.500 --> 00:10:28.980
to her questions, to the questions that she receives.
00:10:29.870 --> 00:10:32.049
And so there you have it, five work -related
00:10:32.049 --> 00:10:34.250
tips from the book Self -Care for Autistic People.
00:10:34.570 --> 00:10:37.409
Just to recap, the five tips are know your stress
00:10:37.409 --> 00:10:40.870
response, drop unnecessary demands, practice
00:10:40.870 --> 00:10:43.470
gray thinking, embrace high -contact communication,
00:10:43.990 --> 00:10:46.850
and craft scripts for boundary setting. If you
00:10:46.850 --> 00:10:48.509
like these tips, I really recommend the book.
00:10:48.590 --> 00:10:50.730
The book was really helpful. It has over 100
00:10:50.730 --> 00:10:53.269
tips, actually. And I even wanted to mention,
00:10:53.450 --> 00:10:55.889
the book is split into different sections for
00:10:55.889 --> 00:10:58.370
different types of self -care. And there is even
00:10:58.370 --> 00:11:00.450
a section for professional self -care, but none
00:11:00.450 --> 00:11:01.929
of these tips are actually from that section.
00:11:02.070 --> 00:11:04.710
So there are even more specific work -related
00:11:04.710 --> 00:11:06.870
tips in the book in that particular section.
00:11:07.210 --> 00:11:09.669
But I just wanted to talk about the other sections
00:11:09.669 --> 00:11:12.269
and just share different tips that I found really,
00:11:12.289 --> 00:11:13.990
really helpful that might be useful in a work
00:11:13.990 --> 00:11:16.669
-related context. So I highly recommend the book.
00:11:16.809 --> 00:11:18.990
And if you like this episode, I'd really appreciate
00:11:18.990 --> 00:11:20.470
it if you would leave a review on the podcast
00:11:20.470 --> 00:11:22.850
app of choice. I'm still waiting for my first
00:11:22.850 --> 00:11:24.929
review on the Apple Podcast app, so if you're
00:11:24.929 --> 00:11:26.370
listening to Apple Podcasts, I definitely would
00:11:26.370 --> 00:11:28.190
appreciate it if you would leave a review just
00:11:28.190 --> 00:11:29.950
to let other people know about the podcast and
00:11:29.950 --> 00:11:32.190
that you found it helpful. And for my follow
00:11:32.190 --> 00:11:34.149
-up question this week, I'd love to know which
00:11:34.149 --> 00:11:36.330
of these tips is your favorite. Are there any
00:11:36.330 --> 00:11:37.789
ones that particularly resonate with you more
00:11:37.789 --> 00:11:41.509
than others? Email me at kevin at workingclassautistic
00:11:41.509 --> 00:11:43.769
.com or reach out to me through Instagram or
00:11:43.769 --> 00:11:46.049
LinkedIn. Thanks, and I'll see you guys next
00:11:46.049 --> 00:11:48.730
time. Hey, thanks for listening all the way to
00:11:48.730 --> 00:11:51.730
the end. You can find show notes at workingclassautistic
00:11:51.730 --> 00:11:54.710
.com. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and if
00:11:54.710 --> 00:11:56.669
you did, I would really appreciate it if you
00:11:56.669 --> 00:11:58.769
left a review in your podcast app or shared the
00:11:58.769 --> 00:12:01.149
episode with a friend. This entire podcast is
00:12:01.149 --> 00:12:03.250
a one -man operation, so anything you can do
00:12:03.250 --> 00:12:05.610
to help promote would go a long way. See you
00:12:05.610 --> 00:12:06.009
next time.
00:00:01.030 --> 00:00:03.290
Autistic people have so much to offer, and yet
00:00:03.290 --> 00:00:05.429
so many of us struggle to fit into a world that
00:00:05.429 --> 00:00:07.650
isn't designed for us. I want to help change
00:00:07.650 --> 00:00:10.390
that. Welcome to the Working Class Autistic podcast,
00:00:10.810 --> 00:00:12.810
where I talk to experts and discuss ways for
00:00:12.810 --> 00:00:14.570
autistic adults to thrive and reach their full
00:00:14.570 --> 00:00:17.129
potential at work and beyond. I'm your host,
00:00:17.250 --> 00:00:22.670
Kevin Joseph. Now, let's get to work. Hello,
00:00:22.809 --> 00:00:24.690
everyone, and welcome to this week's episode
00:00:24.690 --> 00:00:27.710
of Working Class Autistic. This week, I decided
00:00:27.710 --> 00:00:30.019
I'd try a different type of episode. and do a
00:00:30.019 --> 00:00:33.079
little sort of book review or book recap. I recently
00:00:33.079 --> 00:00:35.460
read the book Self -Care for Autistic People
00:00:35.460 --> 00:00:37.619
by Dr. Megan Anna Neff, and I really enjoyed
00:00:37.619 --> 00:00:40.000
it. It was a book that was full of a lot of different
00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:41.700
tips for autistic people, a lot of different
00:00:41.700 --> 00:00:44.679
ways to kind of improve your life, manage self
00:00:44.679 --> 00:00:47.979
-care, manage your emotions. And I thought there
00:00:47.979 --> 00:00:50.359
were a lot of tips that were helpful from a work
00:00:50.359 --> 00:00:53.270
-related perspective. In this episode, I thought
00:00:53.270 --> 00:00:55.689
I would try and cover five different work -related
00:00:55.689 --> 00:00:58.070
tips from the book and just kind of explain what
00:00:58.070 --> 00:01:00.369
I liked about them and hopefully share them.
00:01:00.549 --> 00:01:02.969
And then if you like the tips that I shared,
00:01:03.070 --> 00:01:04.510
I'd recommend checking out the book. I think
00:01:04.510 --> 00:01:06.530
it was a really good book as well. The first
00:01:06.530 --> 00:01:09.870
tip is know your stress response. So the stress
00:01:09.870 --> 00:01:12.150
responses, which you may have heard before, are
00:01:12.150 --> 00:01:15.909
fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Now, if you're
00:01:15.909 --> 00:01:18.549
not familiar with these stress responses, essentially
00:01:18.549 --> 00:01:20.709
what happens is that when your nervous system
00:01:20.709 --> 00:01:23.549
is stressed, there can be either one of two responses
00:01:23.549 --> 00:01:26.390
or one of two places. You can either rev up and
00:01:26.390 --> 00:01:28.250
go into fight or flight mode, which essentially
00:01:28.250 --> 00:01:30.310
means that you are being prepared for action,
00:01:30.370 --> 00:01:33.909
getting more energetic, or, and which might be
00:01:33.909 --> 00:01:35.969
more common in autistic people, it goes into
00:01:35.969 --> 00:01:39.329
a shutdown mode to reduce sensory input, which
00:01:39.329 --> 00:01:41.569
this could be represented with the freeze or
00:01:41.569 --> 00:01:44.769
fawn state. Most jobs come with stress, some
00:01:44.769 --> 00:01:46.489
kind of stress, whether it's from customers,
00:01:46.829 --> 00:01:50.310
managers, different job responsibilities. And
00:01:50.310 --> 00:01:53.170
just knowing how you handle your stress response
00:01:53.170 --> 00:01:55.109
or what kind of stress response you tend towards
00:01:55.109 --> 00:01:57.510
can be really helpful for figuring out how do
00:01:57.510 --> 00:02:01.290
you handle those. For example, I think I tend
00:02:01.290 --> 00:02:03.670
towards freezing a lot. When I'm in a stressful
00:02:03.670 --> 00:02:06.629
situation, I tend to freeze. I tend to like to
00:02:06.629 --> 00:02:10.629
take a second to pause and just think about things.
00:02:12.460 --> 00:02:13.740
just knowing that that kind of stress response
00:02:13.740 --> 00:02:17.060
can happen you know let's say in a situation
00:02:17.060 --> 00:02:20.319
where i'm with a customer and um you know they
00:02:20.319 --> 00:02:21.659
say something stressful something that triggers
00:02:21.659 --> 00:02:25.719
a stress response um and i know like oh that's
00:02:25.719 --> 00:02:28.500
probably gonna make me freeze or you know pause
00:02:28.500 --> 00:02:31.840
um i can come up with things ahead of time to
00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:34.919
kind of prepare for that right um so if someone
00:02:34.919 --> 00:02:39.110
says something stressful i can say like um I
00:02:39.110 --> 00:02:40.810
can respond to them and say, like, oh, let me
00:02:40.810 --> 00:02:44.050
think about that for a second, or let me just
00:02:44.050 --> 00:02:45.250
make sure I understand what you're trying to
00:02:45.250 --> 00:02:47.810
say. And then that gives me a chance to kind
00:02:47.810 --> 00:02:50.810
of work with my freeze response, you know. By
00:02:50.810 --> 00:02:52.490
preparing for that, I know, like, okay, I'm going
00:02:52.490 --> 00:02:56.050
to freeze. Let me try and figure out a way to
00:02:56.050 --> 00:03:00.210
talk this out and buy myself some time to work
00:03:00.210 --> 00:03:02.770
through that response and make sure I can move
00:03:02.770 --> 00:03:06.370
forward with whatever the customer or manager
00:03:06.370 --> 00:03:09.560
needs. Another tip that I really liked was drop
00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:13.159
unnecessary demands. I really like this tip because
00:03:13.159 --> 00:03:15.819
I think when you're at work, especially when
00:03:15.819 --> 00:03:17.319
you're working at somewhere for a long time,
00:03:17.439 --> 00:03:19.439
you tend to kind of pick up responsibilities
00:03:19.439 --> 00:03:22.319
and demands along the way. You know, you start
00:03:22.319 --> 00:03:24.180
off working on a process and then you just kind
00:03:24.180 --> 00:03:25.900
of keep on working on the process for years because
00:03:25.900 --> 00:03:28.280
nobody ever stopped and said like, oh, hey, does
00:03:28.280 --> 00:03:29.479
it actually make sense for you to work on this
00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:31.539
process? Or can we delegate that to somebody
00:03:31.539 --> 00:03:32.979
else? You know, somebody, you know, somebody
00:03:32.979 --> 00:03:35.099
newer who maybe would benefit from more experience
00:03:35.099 --> 00:03:38.599
with that process. And so it can be really helpful
00:03:38.599 --> 00:03:42.580
to just look at your work responsibilities. One
00:03:42.580 --> 00:03:44.000
thing I like to do is just honestly just list
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.500
out everything I do at work, every single responsibility,
00:03:46.620 --> 00:03:50.360
even if it's something quick or small. Just knowing
00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:53.159
what all is on your plate and then figuring out,
00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:54.699
okay, does this actually make sense to be on
00:03:54.699 --> 00:03:56.639
my plate? That can be a really good activity
00:03:56.639 --> 00:03:58.680
for like a yearly review or something to know
00:03:58.680 --> 00:04:01.840
what all am I actually working on? Does it make
00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:04.580
sense for me specifically to work on this? It
00:04:04.580 --> 00:04:06.919
doesn't make sense to pass this on to somebody
00:04:06.919 --> 00:04:09.740
else. But being able to drop unnecessary demands
00:04:09.740 --> 00:04:13.259
and even saying, or even saying like, you know,
00:04:13.259 --> 00:04:15.340
is this process even helpful anymore? Are there
00:04:15.340 --> 00:04:18.379
ways we can automate it? Is this process resulting
00:04:18.379 --> 00:04:21.139
in something that we even need anymore? And so
00:04:21.139 --> 00:04:24.180
being able to drop that process can be a way
00:04:24.180 --> 00:04:26.160
of getting unnecessary demands off of your plate.
00:04:26.680 --> 00:04:29.360
Another tip that I liked was practice gray thinking.
00:04:30.350 --> 00:04:32.149
And so great thinking is kind of the alternative
00:04:32.149 --> 00:04:34.269
to all or nothing thinking. You know, all or
00:04:34.269 --> 00:04:37.089
nothing thinking can be like, oh, this was the
00:04:37.089 --> 00:04:39.670
most amazing workday ever, or oh, this was the
00:04:39.670 --> 00:04:42.389
worst workday ever, or oh, that meeting went
00:04:42.389 --> 00:04:44.790
great, or versus that meeting went absolutely
00:04:44.790 --> 00:04:47.769
terrible. You know, just 100 % positive or 100
00:04:47.769 --> 00:04:51.110
% negative. But practicing great thinking is
00:04:51.110 --> 00:04:53.970
a way of saying, you know, there may have been
00:04:53.970 --> 00:04:55.949
good parts and bad parts to a certain meeting
00:04:55.949 --> 00:04:59.279
or a certain thing that happened at work. And
00:04:59.279 --> 00:05:00.839
it's good to remind yourself of that, that very
00:05:00.839 --> 00:05:03.399
few things are going to be 100 % positive or
00:05:03.399 --> 00:05:06.160
100 % negative. And so practicing great thinking
00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:09.680
can be a way of saying, let's make sure, or let's
00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:12.660
think it through. I feel like this meeting went
00:05:12.660 --> 00:05:15.279
really poorly, but let me think through some
00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:17.980
positives that I could take from it. Maybe there
00:05:17.980 --> 00:05:19.639
were some good parts of the meeting, or even
00:05:19.639 --> 00:05:21.079
if you can't think of good parts of the meeting,
00:05:21.220 --> 00:05:24.779
you can at least... talk through and say, you
00:05:24.779 --> 00:05:26.319
know, what did I learn from this poor meeting?
00:05:26.459 --> 00:05:27.920
What are some takeaways that I can take away?
00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:29.620
And, you know, what are some things that I can
00:05:29.620 --> 00:05:31.579
take away and say, you know, for next meeting
00:05:31.579 --> 00:05:33.259
to make sure that next meeting goes successfully,
00:05:33.500 --> 00:05:37.060
here are some things I can do to make sure that
00:05:37.060 --> 00:05:39.420
I can learn from this poor experience and move
00:05:39.420 --> 00:05:42.399
forward. Another example may be looking at a
00:05:42.399 --> 00:05:43.819
job description. Like, let's say you're looking
00:05:43.819 --> 00:05:47.439
for a new job and you see, you know, a lot of
00:05:47.439 --> 00:05:48.660
different responsibilities, a lot of different
00:05:48.660 --> 00:05:50.800
requirements, and you think, like, oh, I don't
00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:52.759
meet all of these, therefore I can't apply to
00:05:52.759 --> 00:05:55.740
the job. But with the gray thinking, that could
00:05:55.740 --> 00:05:58.819
be, I meet most of these, or I could learn things
00:05:58.819 --> 00:06:02.279
that I don't know, or have some experience, but
00:06:02.279 --> 00:06:03.319
not necessarily all the experience that they're
00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:05.680
asking for. It's still worth applying. Don't
00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:08.420
reject yourself. Let them reject you. Instead
00:06:08.420 --> 00:06:11.660
of saying, I'm a 100 % match for this job, or
00:06:11.660 --> 00:06:14.339
I'm a 0 % match for this job, just saying, I'm
00:06:14.339 --> 00:06:16.339
a partial match for this job. There's a possibility
00:06:16.339 --> 00:06:18.920
that I could be a good fit, and let's apply and
00:06:18.920 --> 00:06:21.110
see whether it works out. The next tip I want
00:06:21.110 --> 00:06:23.709
to share is embrace high -context communication.
00:06:24.589 --> 00:06:26.509
In a nutshell, what that means is essentially
00:06:26.509 --> 00:06:29.610
communication that has a lot of details or adds
00:06:29.610 --> 00:06:33.149
more details to what's being stated. The ways
00:06:33.149 --> 00:06:35.290
you can do this are things like asking for clarification.
00:06:36.069 --> 00:06:38.569
If your manager gives you a task to work on and
00:06:38.569 --> 00:06:40.269
you're not entirely sure about all the details,
00:06:40.589 --> 00:06:43.250
you can always ask. I feel fortunate that I've
00:06:43.250 --> 00:06:45.569
worked in places where asking questions was encouraged.
00:06:46.510 --> 00:06:48.610
And that if I wasn't sure about something, I
00:06:48.610 --> 00:06:51.370
was always encouraged to ask questions. It makes
00:06:51.370 --> 00:06:53.430
more sense to ask questions up front than to
00:06:53.430 --> 00:06:55.930
make assumptions or go with your gut feeling
00:06:55.930 --> 00:06:57.870
and realize later on, like, oh, this actually
00:06:57.870 --> 00:06:59.430
wasn't what the manager or what the customer
00:06:59.430 --> 00:07:02.629
is looking for. And so embracing high contacts,
00:07:02.810 --> 00:07:04.509
that's one of the skills that autistic people
00:07:04.509 --> 00:07:08.430
can really bring to the table is looking for
00:07:08.430 --> 00:07:10.170
those details, making sure you can plan out ahead
00:07:10.170 --> 00:07:13.149
of time and say, like, oh, we're trying to do
00:07:13.149 --> 00:07:15.680
this, but I feel like... if we take this move
00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:18.079
that will result in this consequence or this
00:07:18.079 --> 00:07:20.279
follow -up and so how do we want to handle that
00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:22.379
and so being able to think through those things
00:07:22.379 --> 00:07:24.500
looking for those details that you know non -autistic
00:07:24.500 --> 00:07:27.360
people may miss that can be a real really valuable
00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:30.699
asset and like and so by embracing high context
00:07:30.699 --> 00:07:33.699
communication and making sure you're covering
00:07:33.699 --> 00:07:37.779
all of your bases asking for clarification following
00:07:37.779 --> 00:07:40.540
up later with whatever questions you have That
00:07:40.540 --> 00:07:42.060
could be a real valuable thing to bring to the
00:07:42.060 --> 00:07:45.259
table and something to be really helpful for
00:07:45.259 --> 00:07:49.139
your job. The last tip I want to share from the
00:07:49.139 --> 00:07:52.689
book is graph scripts for boundary setting. And
00:07:52.689 --> 00:07:55.269
even before I knew about the modern understanding
00:07:55.269 --> 00:07:57.509
of autism or that I might be autistic myself,
00:07:57.910 --> 00:08:00.730
I had a lot of scripts for communication. And
00:08:00.730 --> 00:08:02.269
I talked about this in my earlier episode about
00:08:02.269 --> 00:08:04.589
how I learned to communicate. And I think a lot
00:08:04.589 --> 00:08:06.290
of it does come down to crafting scripts and
00:08:06.290 --> 00:08:09.310
realizing like, oh, here's our scenarios that
00:08:09.310 --> 00:08:11.670
might happen at the workplace and here's how
00:08:11.670 --> 00:08:15.069
I might want to respond, you know? Like I was
00:08:15.069 --> 00:08:16.949
talking about earlier with the knowing your stress
00:08:16.949 --> 00:08:19.670
response, let's say you have a scenario where
00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:21.779
You're working with a customer and a stressful
00:08:21.779 --> 00:08:25.519
issue comes up or a stressful topic conversation
00:08:25.519 --> 00:08:28.199
comes up. Just being able to plan ahead of time
00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:31.139
and realize and think through, okay, here's what
00:08:31.139 --> 00:08:32.620
my customer might want to bring up about this
00:08:32.620 --> 00:08:36.399
kind of issue. For example, I worked at a software
00:08:36.399 --> 00:08:38.100
company where we'd have to notify customers about
00:08:38.100 --> 00:08:41.480
bugs or serious issues, right? And so thinking
00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:44.440
through, okay, here's what I need to tell the
00:08:44.440 --> 00:08:47.679
customer. Here's how I can explain it. Questions
00:08:47.679 --> 00:08:49.399
that they might ask or follow up questions they
00:08:49.399 --> 00:08:53.500
might have. And just thinking through, okay,
00:08:53.580 --> 00:08:56.039
if they have this, you know, let's say they get
00:08:56.039 --> 00:08:57.980
stressed out or angry as a response, you know,
00:08:58.000 --> 00:08:59.679
just thinking through like, okay, I might have
00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:01.460
to deal with an angry person. How do I want to
00:09:01.460 --> 00:09:03.919
handle that? It can also happen in scenarios
00:09:03.919 --> 00:09:06.000
where it's not necessarily as stressful, right?
00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:09.720
I always script it out or thought through, you
00:09:09.720 --> 00:09:12.190
know. And whenever people have small talk or
00:09:12.190 --> 00:09:15.470
ask, like, oh, how was your weekend? I always
00:09:15.470 --> 00:09:16.990
tend to freeze up when that happens. Like, I
00:09:16.990 --> 00:09:18.750
don't know. I don't know why I find those so
00:09:18.750 --> 00:09:21.009
stressful. But just looking through, like, okay,
00:09:21.149 --> 00:09:24.610
during my weekend, I did this thing or I did
00:09:24.610 --> 00:09:26.889
these things. Or if I just had a chill weekend,
00:09:26.929 --> 00:09:29.090
which I needed to have chill weekends a lot when
00:09:29.090 --> 00:09:31.230
I was working. Or I needed to have chill weekends
00:09:31.230 --> 00:09:33.269
a lot when I was working in stressful jobs because
00:09:33.269 --> 00:09:35.909
I needed that time to recover and recharge. I
00:09:35.909 --> 00:09:37.450
can just say, you know, oh, I just had a chill
00:09:37.450 --> 00:09:39.509
weekend this weekend, you know, and just being.
00:09:39.899 --> 00:09:43.700
prepared for that answer can be a way of, you
00:09:43.700 --> 00:09:45.740
know, kind of making sure that I feel prepared
00:09:45.740 --> 00:09:49.899
for what comes out throughout the day. And like
00:09:49.899 --> 00:09:51.379
I mentioned in my earlier episode about communication,
00:09:51.740 --> 00:09:54.940
I really like the website askamanager .com. It's
00:09:54.940 --> 00:09:57.340
a blog and advice blog that shares a lot of these
00:09:57.340 --> 00:10:02.080
kinds of scripts. And then the website manager
00:10:03.259 --> 00:10:05.539
Allison really covers a lot of different scripts,
00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:07.019
a lot of different scenarios that can happen
00:10:07.019 --> 00:10:09.799
at work. And she's really skilled at providing
00:10:09.799 --> 00:10:12.620
scripts that say like, oh, here's how you can
00:10:12.620 --> 00:10:16.019
share what you want to share in a way that will
00:10:16.019 --> 00:10:19.360
resonate with the person you're talking to and
00:10:19.360 --> 00:10:21.480
kind of share your feelings in an effective way.
00:10:21.700 --> 00:10:23.320
And so I really appreciate the scripts that the
00:10:23.320 --> 00:10:26.500
website provides and the answers that she has
00:10:26.500 --> 00:10:28.980
to her questions, to the questions that she receives.
00:10:29.870 --> 00:10:32.049
And so there you have it, five work -related
00:10:32.049 --> 00:10:34.250
tips from the book Self -Care for Autistic People.
00:10:34.570 --> 00:10:37.409
Just to recap, the five tips are know your stress
00:10:37.409 --> 00:10:40.870
response, drop unnecessary demands, practice
00:10:40.870 --> 00:10:43.470
gray thinking, embrace high -contact communication,
00:10:43.990 --> 00:10:46.850
and craft scripts for boundary setting. If you
00:10:46.850 --> 00:10:48.509
like these tips, I really recommend the book.
00:10:48.590 --> 00:10:50.730
The book was really helpful. It has over 100
00:10:50.730 --> 00:10:53.269
tips, actually. And I even wanted to mention,
00:10:53.450 --> 00:10:55.889
the book is split into different sections for
00:10:55.889 --> 00:10:58.370
different types of self -care. And there is even
00:10:58.370 --> 00:11:00.450
a section for professional self -care, but none
00:11:00.450 --> 00:11:01.929
of these tips are actually from that section.
00:11:02.070 --> 00:11:04.710
So there are even more specific work -related
00:11:04.710 --> 00:11:06.870
tips in the book in that particular section.
00:11:07.210 --> 00:11:09.669
But I just wanted to talk about the other sections
00:11:09.669 --> 00:11:12.269
and just share different tips that I found really,
00:11:12.289 --> 00:11:13.990
really helpful that might be useful in a work
00:11:13.990 --> 00:11:16.669
-related context. So I highly recommend the book.
00:11:16.809 --> 00:11:18.990
And if you like this episode, I'd really appreciate
00:11:18.990 --> 00:11:20.470
it if you would leave a review on the podcast
00:11:20.470 --> 00:11:22.850
app of choice. I'm still waiting for my first
00:11:22.850 --> 00:11:24.929
review on the Apple Podcast app, so if you're
00:11:24.929 --> 00:11:26.370
listening to Apple Podcasts, I definitely would
00:11:26.370 --> 00:11:28.190
appreciate it if you would leave a review just
00:11:28.190 --> 00:11:29.950
to let other people know about the podcast and
00:11:29.950 --> 00:11:32.190
that you found it helpful. And for my follow
00:11:32.190 --> 00:11:34.149
-up question this week, I'd love to know which
00:11:34.149 --> 00:11:36.330
of these tips is your favorite. Are there any
00:11:36.330 --> 00:11:37.789
ones that particularly resonate with you more
00:11:37.789 --> 00:11:41.509
than others? Email me at kevin at workingclassautistic
00:11:41.509 --> 00:11:43.769
.com or reach out to me through Instagram or
00:11:43.769 --> 00:11:46.049
LinkedIn. Thanks, and I'll see you guys next
00:11:46.049 --> 00:11:48.730
time. Hey, thanks for listening all the way to
00:11:48.730 --> 00:11:51.730
the end. You can find show notes at workingclassautistic
00:11:51.730 --> 00:11:54.710
.com. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and if
00:11:54.710 --> 00:11:56.669
you did, I would really appreciate it if you
00:11:56.669 --> 00:11:58.769
left a review in your podcast app or shared the
00:11:58.769 --> 00:12:01.149
episode with a friend. This entire podcast is
00:12:01.149 --> 00:12:03.250
a one -man operation, so anything you can do
00:12:03.250 --> 00:12:05.610
to help promote would go a long way. See you
00:12:05.610 --> 00:12:06.009
next time.
