96: "You’re Making an Elephant Out of a Mosquito"

In this episode, I sit down with Wednesday to talk about how the nervous system can become attached to predictability—even when that predictability is harmful—and how an abuser can become both the poison and the antidote, the distress and the comfort.

Wednesday shares how her ex used martial arts, clumsiness, and “accidents” to explain away physical trespasses—creating just enough "truth" to make her question what was actually happening.

We also unpack:

• Why we sometimes wish our abuser would do something obvious enough to finally give us permission to leave.
• How early lack of commitment can look like the opposite of control, making us chase harder and overlook warning signs.
• “Why are you making me out to be the bad guy?” / “You think I’m some kind of monster?” / “Why do you always assume the worst of me?”
• How phrases like “You’re making an elephant out of a mosquito” turn legitimate concerns into evidence that we are the problem.
• Why physical abuse is so often accompanied by an explanation: “I didn’t slam the door on you—you didn’t move.” “I didn’t kick you—you walked into my foot.” “I wasn’t pushing you—I was trying to calm you down.”
• How an impending exit date can change an abuser’s behavior—less arguing, more emotional withdrawal, and a relationship that suddenly appears “peaceful,” making you question whether leaving is really necessary.

Links & Codes:

Aimee Says Code: Use code GRACE at checkout: https://www.aimeesays.com/en/plan/select

"If He Hit Me I Would Leave" Poem: https://emmarosebyham.substack.com/p/if-he-hit-me-i-would-leave-him

Guest's Instagram Page: https://www.instagram.com/wednesdaysamantha/

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