TENTANG EPISODE INI
I sit with fear often but it doesn't seem to go anywhere.
A lot of facing my fears is just the fear of lying on my death bed with regret.
Or if I let in a deeper truth in, the mental conflict I know that's coming when I get home caused by the failed opportunity to face a fear.
It's all chaos, either choice generating mental activity from a nervous system that thinks it's under threat.
It's the hardest time to sit.
Why it's doing this? I don't know.
I don't know anything. But it's the wanting to know that drives me crazy.
The desire to know for certain what's coming next, and to finally be safe.
Safe in my mothers arms, on my death bed, free from regret and knowing all fears have been faced.
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