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You are now tuned into Virtually Impossible Presents Lazy Learning Land Podcast,
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where we teach teachers how to be lazier, yet more effective to increase student
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performance, but decrease teacher burnout and stress.
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I'm S.Dot, your hostess that always gives you the mostest while doing the least,
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also known as the queen of working and not working.
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With over 15 years experience in the hood schools, and I absolutely love it,
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I am here to share with you all the tricks of the trade I have developed that
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will make your life as a teacher much easier and even help you to fall back
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in love with the profession.
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Today's episode is sponsored by Lazy Learning Land on TikTok,
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where we skip all the fluff and give you the real deal stuff.
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You can watch teacher tips, shorts, comedic shorts, and even watch me interact
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with my real students during class periods, all while implementing tips that I share with you.
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So go follow Lazy Learning Land on TikTok and enhance your experience.
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And now for today's episode. All right, all right, all right.
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Welcome everyone to another episode of the Lazy Learning Land podcast.
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I am your hostess, S.Dot, and we got a great show in store for you all today.
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You know, normally I'm on my comedic, sarcastic tip,
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but today I'm tapping into my emotional side and
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we're really going to hone in on how to deal with that separation anxiety when
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it comes to the end of the year and you're having to say goodbye to your students
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and that heartbreak that you feel knowing how much you've poured into those
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students and now having to watch them walk out your classroom door for the last time.
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And I'm gonna be real with y'all. I never had a clue that this was a real thing.
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Like true story, I was scrolling through TikTok on my Lazy Learning Land teacher
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account and I came across a post on my For You page or my FYP page.
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And it was of a teacher who had just finished up her third year in the profession.
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And she had stated that it would also be her last year teaching and she was
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not going to be returning. So naturally I was intrigued.
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And the reason she mentioned for her not returning was because of the emotional
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trauma and strain she endures at the end of the school year.
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She was mentioning that the time when she has to say goodbye to her students,
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that she literally has grown to love as if they were her own.
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Those times she just couldn't take that emotional toll anymore and I was baffled I was intrigued I.
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And then I started going into the comic section for this particular post.
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Y'all, I saw hundreds of teachers co-signing, responding with similar feelings.
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Some saying things like they are still
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teaching, but they experienced the separation trauma year after year.
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And then others chiming in saying that they're no longer teachers,
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either they are retired or they've left the profession, but they don't miss
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having that feeling. And y'all, I was real deal, holy feel shocked.
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I mean, literally, because I truly did not know that this separation anxiety
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and trauma was really a thing.
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See, I've never experienced it before and I've been teaching 15 plus years.
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And okay, it may mostly be tied to the fact that I have an anxious attachment
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style, meaning when I was growing up, emotional connection and emotional support
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was kind of unpredictable in my life.
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So that probably ultimately aided in me naturally building close,
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but yet still far enough away relationships with my students to where I never
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had to actually experience it.
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But me being the nerd I am, I was like, okay, let me kind of look into this.
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You know, I want to get into the real nitty gritty.
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I'm going to get off the, you know, this therapy couch, I'm right here telling
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y'all stuff I need to be talking to with my therapist about my anxious attachment style and stuff.
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But yo, I literally thought, how come teachers don't act more like foster parents?
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Like my ADD, ADHD, my brain is very solution oriented.
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So when I came across this problem, I'm like, well, the answer is easy.
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Just act, you know, act like the foster parents act like, because at the end
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of the day, foster parents still got to get those kids back at the end of the term.
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And I was really wondering why teachers don't utilize the same strategies as foster parents.
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And that's when I began to research. And now I present to you today's episode
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of Real Bonds and Boundaries, What Teachers Can Learn from Foster Parents.
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What teachers can learn from foster parents, you see, this is where we can learn
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valuable lessons from them.
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These people are actual experts, like in the field, okay?
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In the heat of things, creating and nurturing connections while at the same
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time maintaining the boundaries necessary for both the child and their own well-being.
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You see, foster parents know exactly what teachers are going through.
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Now, a lot of other people walking the face of this earth don't,
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but when it comes to creating emotional bonds and then being forced to abruptly
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detach after a certain amount of time, foster parents understand.
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And when it's time to return the children to their biological families,
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teachers really could learn a thing or two from foster parents.
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So let's get into these tips, y'all, because I had to do some research like
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this. This one took took me some time.
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All right. Cause I wanted to make sure I was coming from a knowledgeable,
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but yet organic place for you.
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You see, the first thing is to understand the role of being a temporary guardian.
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Y'all foster parents do a great job of embracing the concept that their role is temporary.
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They know that they are going to provide stability, care, and support all during
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your child's critical time in life.
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And to parallel it, as teachers, it is critical for us to remember that our
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footprint in our students' lives is permanent.
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Our footprint is permanent, but our role is still temporary.
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So here's a pro tip. Remind yourself regularly that your goal is to foster independence,
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to equip your students with the skills and knowledge they need to succeed beyond
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beyond your classroom, and beyond your reach.
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Remember to regularly reflect on your long-term goals as a teacher.
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What do you want your students to take away from their time in your classroom?
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Now, let's move along to number two. Number two, set clear boundaries.
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Foster parents are often advised to set clear, healthy boundaries with the children in their care.
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And this not only protects the emotional well-being of the child,
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but it also helps the foster parent to manage their own emotions.
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You see, in a similar manner, we as teachers can benefit from establishing these
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boundaries that define the teacher-student relationship.
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And this may include setting specific times when a student can and cannot contact you.
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It may also include being mindful of the amount of personal information and
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the amount of your personal experiences you share with a student or with your students.
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And here's a pro tip.
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Clearly communicate your boundaries to your students in a kind but firm manner and stick to them.
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Have boundaries, but you have to stick to those boundaries because we know kids,
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they going to test us. They going to try us.
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They really going to see if we be meaning what we say we be meaning.
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So set your boundaries, make them clear, but also stick to them.
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All right. So moving right along, we've got number three.
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Three encourage self-reliance you
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see one of the key goals of foster care is to
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empower children and to develop resilience and
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independence foster parents often focus
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on teaching life skills and encouraging children to solve problems on their
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own and while at the same time while they're doing this they are still providing
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those children or that child with guidance and support so they're still there
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for the kids, but they're not overly there for the kids.
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And as teachers, we can adopt a very similar approach.
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You can encourage your students to think critically, to solve problems independently,
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and to take responsibility for the parts of their life that they can control,
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such as their learning and the way they respond to adverse situations.
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This is going to help them to build confidence and reduce the likelihood of
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them becoming over-reliant on you.
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And for my elementary and primary teachers, bless your heart, bless your heart now.
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But encouraging independence anger students helps to prevent them from becoming
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overly needy and overly clingy,
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ultimately creating a balanced teacher-student relationship while while at the
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same time helping to reduce the risk of emotional distress on both your part
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and on the student's part when it's time to move on to the next grade level.
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Here's your pro tip. Incorporate problem-solving activities into your lessons
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that encourages students to work through their challenges either on their own
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or within their peer groups.
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Offer support and guidance when a student is struggling,
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but be sure to resist the urge to overly coddle or to resist the urge to give
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the answers or to hover too much, so on and so forth.
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If I give those kids the opportunities to problem solve, kind of work through
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it themselves, make some mistakes, so on and so forth.
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All right. Now, number four, number four, practice empathy without over identification.
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Practice empathy without over identification. Now, you see, foster parents are
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trained on how to show empathy without over identifying with the children in their current care.
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They are able to understand the importance of being compassionate and understanding,
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yet they're able to still maintain a professional distance.
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And I know you're like, but how is it professional if it's more of that,
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you know, parental child relationship?
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Well, they incorporate both of them. And I think as teachers.
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Practicing empathy means for us to
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listen to our students, validate their feelings, and offer them support.
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But also doing our very, very best to not take on their emotional burdens as your own.
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Okay, well, let me say it like this. Try not to take on too many of their emotional
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burdens as your own because it is in our nature. we're in a service profession.
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So it's in our nature to be overly caring and whatnot,
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but we do need to be cognizant of when we're just making every child's problems
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our own or every time these, you know, specific children have an issue that
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we take on every single issue that particular child has,
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you know, I know some of us can't help, but do it, but let's try to do it in moderation.
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And I think you'll start to see a difference when it's time to separate if you
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can moderate or, you know, if you can make those modifications to how often you do that.
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And the pro tip, when a student shares a personal problem with you,
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do practice active listening, do offer support, but also encourage them to seek
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additional help outside of you.
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Meaning, do help them to connect with a counselor or with the program that fits
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their needs or the needs of their family so that those people can kind of pull
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more of that emotional load.
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You can still So be there to listen and to support and encourage and double
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check behind them and ask them, hey, are you doing this? Are you doing that?
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You know, hold them accountable, but you still want to make sure that you're
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not overstepping your professional boundaries too much by becoming too emotionally
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involved in a student's issues.
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Don't hesitate to reach out for help if you are feeling overly attached to a
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student or their life situation because sometimes simply talking through your
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feelings with someone and y'all this can be a co-worker, a family member,
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a counselor of your own, a mentor but just find somebody that can provide enough
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clarity to help you re-establish your boundaries with that that particular student or students, again,
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ultimately to help avoid that separation trauma at the end of the year.
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Y'all, this may be one of my shortest episodes ever, but it's short, sweet, and deep.
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Okay, but we are now to the conclusion of this. So we're going to sum this thing
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all the way, all right, as each school year starts.
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Similarly, you should know that each school year must come to an end.
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And it is natural to feel a deep sense of loss, knowing that the students that
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you have nurtured, that you have guided and cared for, will soon move on.
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And this pain is a true testament to the powerful connections you have built,
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and it is also a reflection of your passion as an educator and as a teacher.
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Just as foster parents must say goodbye to the children they have cared for, so must you.
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And both foster parents and teachers alike have to trust that they have provided
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them with the tools they need to thrive.
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They have to trust that their influence will continue to resonate with each
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of those children long after they have left your side.
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By embracing your role as a temporary guide, as a temporary guardian,
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setting clear boundaries, fostering self-reliance, practicing empathy without over-identifying,
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and seeking support when you need it, You can find the healthy balance that
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allows you to be the compassionate,
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effective teacher your students need without losing yourself in the process.
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So remember, the end of a school year is not the end of your influence.
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It's the beginning of your students next chapter, shaped in part by the love
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and guidance you have given to them.
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So embrace the bittersweet farewells, knowing that you have made a major difference
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and trust that by maintaining a healthy balance of connection and boundaries,
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you will be ready to do it again with the next group of young minds that enters your classroom.
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Thanks for tuning into today's episode of Virtually Impossible Presents Lazy Learning Land Podcast.
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Comment below your thoughts on real bonds and boundaries, what teachers can
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learn from foster parents.
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What are some super awesome things you do to build relationships with your students?
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And which of these strategies will you be more intentional about implementing
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in order to protect your emotional well-being?
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Since there is strength in lazy, be sure to like, follow and subscribe to this podcast.
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My blog on virtuallyimpossible.net, no apostrophe, and our social media platforms.
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You can find us on TikTok under Lazy Learning Land,
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on Pinterest under Virtually ImPossible, no apostrophe, and Instagram under
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Virtually_Im_Possible.
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So you can feel at home among other lazy learners.
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This is your girl S.Dot signing off. And until next episode,
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remember to live long in lazy and never, ever work too hard.
